Maher musings . . .

There's no fix . . .

FOR STUPID. Wingnut didn't secure his load, and now, he owns what AOL Autos calls the Jackson Pollock Edition Ford Explorer. Be careful out there, OK? Reality can have an instantaneous bite . . .

More on the "Blessed" Season . . . .

As Rodney King would say:  "Why can't we all get along?"

From the CBC and other sources today:

Clergymen brawl at Bethlehem church

Fight erupts at traditional site of Jesus' birth

The annual cleaning of one of Christianity's holiest churches deteriorated into a brawl between rival clergy Wednesday, as dozens of monks feuding over sacred space at the Church of the Nativity battled each other with brooms until police intervened.

The ancient church, built over the traditional site of Jesus' birth in Bethlehem, is shared by three Christian denominations — Roman Catholics, Armenians and Greek Orthodox. Wednesday's fight erupted between Greek and Armenian clergy, with both sides accusing each other of encroaching on parts of the church to which they lay claim.

_______________

A fragile status quo governs relations among the denominations at the ancient church, and to repair or clean a part of the structure is to own it, according to accepted practice. That means that letting other sects clean part of the church could allow one to gain ground at another's expense.

_______________

Although the roof has needed urgent work for decades, and leaking rainwater has ruined much of the priceless artwork inside, a renovation has been delayed all these years by disagreements among the denominations over who would pay.

Why is this not at all surprising?

How very moral and upright of them . . . .

The ghastly Gipper . . .

THE ENDLESS VENAL LUNACY OF THE GOP can overwhelm, and it's easy to lose track of where a large part of this originated. SLATE has a reprise of a delightful article by the late Christopher Hitchens, "Not Even a Hedgehog / The stupidity of Ronald Reagan".

Ronald Reagan used to alarm his Soviet counterparts by saying that surely they'd both unite against an invasion from Mars. Ronald Reagan used to alarm other constituencies by speaking freely about the "End Times" foreshadowed in the Bible. In the Oval Office, Ronald Reagan told Yitzhak Shamir and Simon Wiesenthal, on two separate occasions, that he himself had assisted personally at the liberation of the Nazi death camps.

• • •

I only saw him once up close, which happened to be when he got a question he didn't like. Was it true that his staff in the 1980 debates had stolen President Carter's briefing book? (They had.) The famously genial grin turned into a rictus of senile fury: I was looking at a cruel and stupid lizard. His reply was that maybe his staff had, and maybe they hadn't, but what about the leak of the Pentagon Papers? Thus, a secret theft of presidential documents was equated with the public disclosure of needful information. This was a man never short of a cheap jibe or the sort of falsehood that would, however laughable, buy him some time.

Like Gil Scott-Heron said, the man is cheap-steak tough. 

There's no fix for stupid . . .

Gizmodo has a video of some genetic winner working at removing himself from the gene pool. Amazing. Really. Then again, it could be suicide by scooter.

You can't fix stupid . . .

THE UK TELEGRAPH has a report that's sure to get the politically-correct in the wonderful world of tighty-whitey wedgie: "Tattooed woman 'told to put bag over head by Jobcentre'". 

Hayley O'Neil, 23, - who also has 20 body piercings - says was also advised to ''stand behind a wall'' when she asked a job centre official what post she could apply for.

She eventually left the Job Centre Plus centre in Blackburn Lancs in tears without any interviews lined up after the advisor concluded: ''Who would hire you looking like that?''

Miss O'Neil, who got her first tattoo from her mother as an 18th birthday present said: ''I just felt so humiliated. I couldn't believe what this guy was saying.

''I said I could take the piercings out but they look a lot worse when they are out."

"The guy said: 'on first impressions do you think anyone would hire you?' He said: 'look at it this way if you were to stand behind a wall - or put a paper bag over your face do you think you would have a better chance?'

At least there's call centers.

A new, improved face-plant . . .

They said dude hit the back of the truck at about 120mph.

Disorder in the Court

THIS MORNING, I RECEIVED an e-mail that had some oldies but goodies, from a book allegedly  called "Disorder in the Court". As it happened, I had been thinking about one of 'em, and voila! — there it was in my inbox. I decided to search, and yes, the book really does exist: "Disorder in the Court: Great Fractured Moments in Courtroom History", by Charles M. Sevilla.

I'm sure you may have seen them before, but what the hell . . . .

ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?

ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until  the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He's twenty, much like your IQ.

ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid.

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.

ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.

Six Degrees of . . . .

Quick!

What do george w.bush, stephen harper and tiger woods have in common?


The Universe indeed works in mysterious ways . . . .

Dying to Look Sexy . . . .

It's amazing to me how vanity can take over one's life - and death, apparently.

Today's Toronto Star reports:

Beauty queen dies for 'firmer behind'

December 01, 2009

BUENOS AIRES, Argentina–A 38-year-old former Miss Argentina has died from complications after undergoing cosmetic surgery on her buttocks.

Solange Magnano, a mother of twins who won the crown in 1994, died of a pulmonary embolism Sunday after three days in critical condition following a gluteoplasty in Buenos Aires.

_______________


Fashion designer and friend Roberto Piazza said the procedure also involved injections, and the liquid "went to her lungs and brain."

"A woman who had everything lost her life to have a slightly firmer behind," he said.

_______________


Juan Carlos Seiler, former president of the Buenos Aires Association of plastic surgeons, told the Times of London that the doctor who performed the procedure might not have been "a real professional."

Firm butt and dead.

How's that for a trade-off ? ? ? ?

(Cross-posted from Moved to Vancouver)

Be Careful What You Ask For . . . .

It appears members of the GLBT community in Texas will be enjoying a bit of schadenfreude in the near future.

You're gonna love this one, gang, via McClatchy today:

Texas' gay marriage ban may have banned all marriages
Dave Montgomery | Fort Worth Star-Telegram | November 18, 2009

AUSTIN — Texans: Are you really married?

Maybe not.

Barbara Ann Radnofsky, a Houston lawyer and Democratic candidate for attorney general, says that a 22-word clause in a 2005 constitutional amendment designed to ban gay marriages erroneously endangers the legal status of all marriages in the state.

The amendment, approved by the Legislature and overwhelmingly ratified by voters, declares that "marriage in this state shall consist only of the union of one man and one woman." But the troublemaking phrase, as Radnofsky sees it, is Subsection B, which declares:

"This state or a political subdivision of this state may not create or recognize any legal status identical or similar to marriage."

Architects of the amendment included the clause to ban same-sex civil unions and domestic partnerships. But Radnofsky, who was a member of the powerhouse Vinson & Elkins law firm in Houston for 27 years until retiring in 2006, says the wording of Subsection B effectively "eliminates marriage in Texas," including common-law marriages.

She calls it a "massive mistake" and blames the current attorney general, Republican Greg Abbott, for allowing the language to become part of the Texas Constitution. Radnofsky called on Abbott to acknowledge the wording as an error and consider an apology. She also said that another constitutional amendment may be necessary to reverse the problem.

_______________


Radnofsky, the Democratic nominee in the Senate race against Kay Bailey Hutchison in 2006, said she voted against the amendment but didn’t realize the legal implications until she began poring over the Texas Constitution to prepare for the attorney general’s race. She said she holds Abbott and his office responsible for not catching an "error of massive proportions."

"Whoever vetted the language in B must have been asleep at the wheel," she said.

Was I right?

Do you love it?

Thought you would . . . .

(Cross-posted from Moved to Vancouver)

Help! It's Here Now ! ! ! !

If you think the influence of the US christian right "wrong" is creeping north across the 49th, there's now proof.

On a trip to the US southland last summer I was not surprised to see this ad on television down there. Unfortunately, it is now here.

Two, count 'em two ads for the item within the past hour on "ahem," "choke," "gasp" CTV.

It appears harper is winning, ya'll . . . .

(Cross-posted from Moved to Vancouver)

Jalopnik would like to know . . . .

JALOPNIK WOULD LIKE TO KNOW — and so would I — just what is that woman doing in the back seat of her $524,000 (US) Maybach Zeppelin? Sorry to be a fountain of ignorance, but I haven't the faintest idea. What do you think? Coke? Crank? Crack?

Our head spook isn't happy

CSIS DIRECTOR RICHARD FADDEN isn't happy with you and me. He feels like Rodney Dangerfield — just can't get no respect.

According to Ian Macleod of the OTTAWA CITIZEN, Ricky believes

"Almost any attempt to fight terrorism by the government is portrayed as an overreaction or an assault on liberty. It is a peculiar position, given that terrorism is the ultimate attack on liberties. If terrorists believe in anything, it is nihilism and death, and they are equal opportunity oppressors."

Ricky is really peeved we're not with the program:

Fadden also revealed the service's dilemma in the recent security certificate case of suspected terrorist Adil Charkaoui.

A Federal Court this month killed the government's case against the Montreal man after government lawyers refused to reveal their detailed evidence against him, citing national security concerns.

The disclosure demand, "pushed us beyond what we could accept," explained Fadden.

"We were faced with a dilemma: to disclose information that would have given would-be terrorists a virtual road map to our tradecraft and sources; or to withdraw that information from the case, causing a security certificate to collapse.

"We chose the path that would cause the least long-term damage to Canada and withdrew the information. We did this because an intelligence agency that cannot protect its sources and tradecraft cannot be credible or effective."

Ricky is concerned about about CSIS "sources" — and get this — CSIS "tradecraft". Yes, folks, that's right, tradecraft. You know, like holding back polygraph results, and handing over people of interest to the CIA and the Syrians or whoever for "care and handling".

I wonder what Bill Stephenson, aka "Intrepid" would think about all this hoo-ha. Ricky, you got some 'splainin' to do.

A winning library

A hat-tip to Helmut; thank-you, sir.

Remembering Robert . . . .

The Braidwood Inquiry into the death of Robert Dziekanski resumes tomorrow.

Today's "24 Hours-Vancouver" had an interview with Robert's mother, Zofia Cisowski. Excerpts are below:

Who was Robert Dziekanski?
Polish immigrant killed at YVR remembered as a 'fantastic person'
By MATT KIELTYKA | September 21, 2009

A faint smile crept into Zofia Cisowski's face - but only for a moment.

It's a smile that has appeared far too rarely since her son, Robert Dziekanski, died on the floor of the Vancouver International Airport after being jolted by multiple Taser shots Oct. 14, 2007.

But as much as his death - and ensuing inquiry into the circumstances around it - has shredded Cisowski's life, she can't hide her maternal pride when thinking about her boy.

_______________


She raised Robert on her own in the town of Gliwice in southern Poland and worked long hours to support her lone child.

Late shifts were always risky propositions behind the Iron Curtain. She had to sneak around in the dead of night, taking shelter in the shadows of every building on her way home to avoid being caught breaking curfew.

At the age of 10, Robert may have been too young to understand his mom's stress and fear.

But he knew enough.

"He saw that I was over-worked," Cisowski reminisced, that smile beginning to show itself again. "That's when he made his first meal, crepes.

"He forgot to add eggs, but everything else was right. He added onions and pepper and everything," she said, eyes shimmering. "I was very thankful he would do something for me. That when I came back from work I would have something to eat. I will never forget that."

That was Robert, always willing to help.

"He would give people everything he had," Cisowski said. "He had a good heart."

Iwona Kosowska, a long-time neighbour of Robert, says that picture of Robert needs to endure.

She remembers him as a "fantastic person."

The two would spend hours in the garden together and Robert would play with her daughter.

"That's how he was and it won't change," she told 24 hours. "This is simply the truth."

Kosowska was livid when she was put on the hot seat at Braidwood Inquiry earlier this year as lawyers asked her about Robert's past, health and whether he had drinking and smoking problems.

To her, it was a thinly veiled smear campaign.

"Can we stop this line of questioning?" she pleaded during her testimony March 30. "You are trying to make a bad person out of him, which means that you can kill a bad person but you cannot kill a good person. I'm fed up. I'm not going to answer any more questions. How can you?

_______________


That's why the heart-broken mother speaks of the Robert she knew and loved.

"He had a very good heart, that's the most important thing," she maintains, as determined as ever. "He never did anyone any harm, he was a good person. But in this world, it's the good people that get taken away from us."

Robert, a good person who did no harm, dead for no good reason.

Gives one pause . . . .

(Cross-posted at Moved to Vancouver)

Great! Cheaper Bullets ! ! ! !

More great news from south of the 49th!

Who knew you could actually save $$$ on guns and ammo just 'cuz it's a holiday weekend?

From the Miami Herald, but thank goodness, this is not about Florida for a change:

Louisiana debuts tax-free shopping for guns, ammo, more

By DOUG SIMPSON - Associated Press Writer

Paul McCrory won't go deer hunting until November, but Louisiana's new "sales tax holiday" on hunting equipment makes this weekend his best opportunity to shop for bullets and a new rifle.

Gun shop owners report customers like McCrory are enthusiastically planning to stock up on bullets, shells, shotguns, rifles and handguns - all of which will be sold without the 6 percent state sales tax or local sales taxes Friday through Sunday. That means a 9-percent tax break for Baton Rouge shoppers, several of whom said they planned to take full advantage.

_______________


Jim McClain, owner of Jim's Firearms in Baton Rouge, said his regular customers are well educated about the program: Dozens of regular customers have come to his store in recent weeks to have guns set aside, so they can return over the weekend and save money on taxes. Among the 80 firearms he's holding are a $3,500 shotgun - a purchase that will cost $315 less without taxes.

"It should be a fairly busy weekend. We've got quite a lot of weapons on hold right now," McClain said.

_______________


Adam Featherston, 21, said Thursday he was price shopping at Jim's Firearms and another store. The Baton Rouge auto mechanic said he planned to spend about $1,000 on bullets and two rifles over the weekend, for himself and his fiancee to use in deer season.

Featherston said he thought a tax break was especially appropriate for hunters because the cost of ammunition has shot up over the past year.

"It's a good idea because we're having to pay $5 extra now for bullets," he said. "I'm going to get everything I need now, so I'll be ready in November."

Saving $$$ on items to kill and maim living creatures.

What more could a self-respecting NRA member ask for ? ? ? ?

H/T "drf"

(Cross-posted from Moved to Vancouver)

Maher Rules . . . .

(Playing off Edstock's post below:)

Bill Maher has a New Rule posted at The Huffington Post today.


Go.

Read.

Chuckle.

Snicker.

Guffaw.




Shake your head in astonishment.

A sampling:

A few weeks ago I was asked by Wolf Blitzer if I thought Sarah Palin could get elected president, and I said I hope not, but I wouldn't put anything past this stupid country. It was amazing - in the minute or so between my calling America stupid and the end of the Cialis commercial, CNN was flooded with furious emails and the twits hit the fan. And you could tell that these people were really mad because they wrote entirely in CAPITAL LETTERS!!!

_______________

At a recent town-hall meeting in South Carolina, a man stood up and told his Congressman to "keep your government hands off my Medicare," which is kind of like driving cross country to protest highways.

_______________

Nearly half of Americans don't know that states have two senators and more than half can't name their congressman. And among Republican governors, only 30% got their wife's name right on the first try.

I repeat:

Go.

Enjoy . . . .

(Cross-posted from Moved to Vancouver)

"Goodbye George" from McClatchy . . . .

McClatchy's Washington Bureau bids an early farewell to george bush today.

Commentary: Bush makes a farewell tour. Good riddance

Joseph L. Galloway | McClatchy Newspapers

December 18, 2008

We've been treated to a real spectacle this week as President George W. Bush and Vice President Dick Cheney limped into the home stretch of their Magical History Tour, employing distortions, half-truths and untruths in a final, desperate attempt to pervert or somehow prevent history from judging them accurately.

_______________

The great gray eminence himself, Dick Cheney, of no known address, went on national television pleading guilty to committing a war crime. Yes, Cheney said, he participated in the White House discussions on the use of torture in the interrogations of suspected terrorists. Yes, he said proudly, he approved the use of such outlawed practices as water-boarding, the simulated drowning of bound and helpless prisoners to make them talk. So what?

Photo credit: Kevin Seirs of the Charlotte Observer

_______________

Over in the White House, the president was busy signing a flood of executive orders opening the gates to oil drilling on massive chunks of previously protected public lands in the West; protecting big corporations from lawsuits in state courts when their products harm or kill innocent Americans, and generally giving his fat cat friends one last shot at looting a national Treasury of any remaining table scraps.

The president and his spinmeisters keep talking about how, with the passage of time, historians will come to judge his presidency a huge success, much as history has come to judge the administration of Harry S. Truman.

Balderdash. Or as I much prefer to say in situations like this: Bullshit!

_______________


Bush told his War College audience that of all the things he loved about the job, he was proudest of all of his role as their commander-in-chief.

Why then did he and his minions oppose virtually every attempt to reinforce their numbers and shorten the time they spent in Hell? Why did they oppose virtually every attempt to increase their pay and their benefits, and those of millions of American veterans of these and other wars?

How could so proud a commander sit idly by while soldiers and Marines were sent off to war without the armored vehicles and body armor they so desperately needed in this new kind of war?

How could his administration pinch pennies when it came to funding and manning the military hospitals that treat the thousands of wounded troops flowing home from his wars?

How can this man talk about making the world a safer and freer place by his actions when so much innocent blood has been shed by civilians in Iraq and Afghanistan? When millions have been turned into homeless refugees inside and outside Iraq? When America is left with far fewer friends and allies among the nations of the world?

The only good news left to us this gloomy, cold December is that we only have to put up with this wretched spectacle for another 30 days or so.

George W. Bush should make a hurry-up call to his architect and see if it's not too late to substitute firing slits for the ground floor windows in his new Presidential Library in Dallas.

Good-bye George, and good riddance.

Well done, Mr. Galloway.

Well done . . .

(Cross-posted from Moved to Vancouver)

Illustrations of a Political Disaster . . . .

The whole Palin media circus in the US has totally disgusted me to the point that I would rather not talk about it, nor post about it.

Today, however, a good friend and former journalist (as opposed to what passes for same these days) sent me a couple of illustrations of the person I like to refer to as "Tundra Trash."

She wanted me to spread them around, so here 'ya go:

Sarah Palin, Librarian

And my personal favourite:

Sarah Palin Bags the Big One

Thanks to Steve in comments for the artist: Zina Saunders . . . .

(Cross-posted from Moved to Vancouver)