Thoughts from this mom on mother's day

As I sit here with my hubby while Aiden is napping, I am stirred up inside. I would like to share with all of you a brief (or not--depending on your definition) testimony.

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Amazing....I may have already said this, but one of the many special things about Aiden is how he responds during worship at church. Our church has a band and knows how to rock the house. EVERY time Aiden is in my arms, when the worship is playing, he settles into my arms (often either leaning his face on my cheek or laying his head on my shoulders). It feels like he's sleeping but I feel his eyelashes on my face as he opens and closes his eyes, and today, he was singing along to the song I worship to on my own, "Desert Song" by Darlene Zschech. (Link to the song on You Tube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QemZQKKJbRU) That was the first time I heard him singing with me on a song during worship--of course, it happens to be one I sing to often.

That, to me, feels like a supernatural miracle--a glimpse of heaven--that God has so lovingly allowed me to experience.

Thank you, Heavenly Father!

It makes me wonder...this could appear to be insigificant. I mean, by the grace of God, I listened to the soft whisper in my heart to start bringing him to worship with me about a month ago. It's a seed being sewn each Sunday. I find myself looking upward in my heart wondering what beautiful thing this seed will grow into. I have been praying protection over it so the seed can't be stolen or washed away. I believe it will flourish in Aiden's heart and reap exactly what God planned for all along--giving Him the glory so due!

On a side note, I find myself wondering what some of you may be thinking with all this 'God' talk. I have recently come face to face with the fact that I deeply desire to work with my Creator and Designer. I am falling more in love with Him every day.

I look back at the severe abuse I suffered under the hand of my father. I recall the darkness that seemed to surround me, both inside and out. I recall thinking my life was the worst out there--wrestling with such evil. I recently thought my past was exactly where it is-the past and SOOO many people have and are currently suffering SOOOO much greater than I have or ever will suffer.

Now, I'm not saying my pain was gone in a instant. I went through years and years of agony and pain and deeper agony and even more pain. I thought at times it would never go away.

It occurred to me, recently, "so what if God delivered me from all of my past chains and I was free from pain. What would I do if I got everything 'I' wanted? Spend it all on me." I was trying to get out of all of that pain so 'I' would feel better. That was when I turned to God and gave Him all that I went through and exactly where I was. I realized I had been resisting Him and His will because it reminded me of the emotional, physical and sexual abuse prison I lived in as a child and young adult. Thank God I now see it for what it really is; protection. He has set up boundaries and established principles for true freedom. As I obey, with His help, I will (and have begun to) experience true joy, true blessings. It's awesome. My prayer is that I continue to let God into my life. Thank God He's merciful and doesn't require perfection!!!