Chelsea Salomone

I made a decision today. I guess if I'm honest, it's one I should have made a long time ago. I'm pretty sure it takes the wisdom that comes from almost turning thirty before you can figure things like this out though.

I was getting ready in front of the mirror, wondering if these jeans make my hips look wide and whether or not my tummy pouched out in this shirt when somewhere deep inside of me a voice rumbled, "ENOUGH!"

Enough with the criticism. Enough contending with the hope that one day, I'll lose about five more pounds. Enough wishing for a flatter tummy. Enough thinking that someday, maybe I might get brave and go on an extreme diet or lose myself completely in an exercise regimen. Enough feeling guilty when I don't work out as much as I meant to. ENOUGH.

I take good care of myself, and the body I have is not perfect but it is enough.

I have great health, and I generally feel good in my clothes. I don't love how I look in a swimsuit, but it's not so bad that I hesitate to wear one in front of other people. (Except for my one friend who basically had a six pack weeks after having a baby, and she knows who she is. That is another matter altogether.)

The thing is, I've weighed the same thing, give or take a couple of pounds (and ten months of being pregnant), and been pretty much the same size for the better part of my adult life. So ENOUGH squirreling away all these good "young" years and chasing something I am not.

I'm not one to obsess about how I look or really beat myself up about it. I don't often bother to weigh myself so long as my clothes are still fitting well. But like most people, some negative thoughts are always there floating around, should I choose to indulge.

So today I thought, no more of that. This is me, and this is good enough. What a novel idea.

There is a picture floating around on Pinterest that I like, it says something like, "Being skinny feels better than this cookie tastes." But as of twenty minutes ago, do you know what I decided? Being content with who you are feels best of all. I need to stop seeing myself as a work in progress, and just see myself as me.

One of the major eye rolling life lessons my dad was always trying to get across to us was: There's always going to be somebody who has more than you, and there's always going to be someone who has less. 

 That can refer to money, to talent, to say.... asking for a new car when you turn 16, just about anything.

I am 5'3" tall. I weigh 121 pounds. I buy a size 27 (short) jeans and a size 3-4 most anything else. My stomach is a little squishy and a little more pokey outtie than I would like. I'm sure I have friends who would kill to be my size and other friends who would kill themselves if they were my size. But this is who I am.

From now on I am going to work on retraining my thoughts. It does not mean what I see is perfect. It means, this is me and that is good enough.