THAT D'UH! MOMENT

Hello, lovely readers! It's been a while since I've updated, I know - I've been spending a lot of energy rewriting and refreshing posts for my Patreon, a lot more energy settling into my RLF post at York St John University, and what was left over working on the new WIP.

And it's the new WIP that's been causing me to tear my hair out. You see, two days a week I've now got access to a lovely quiet office in York from 9am until 6pm. There's light, heat, a window, a computer and the internet - not to mention my WIP notebook and the copious amounts of stationery I've ferried over there, plus ready access to coffee and the odd snack - which ought to be everything that I need to work.

Now of course, I'm there to see students and help them to improve their writing. But currently it's quiet (things pick up toward exam deadlines) so most days I have a few free periods, or even a whole free morning or afternoon in which to work in total peace, plus the time after my work day finishes but before the Student Centre closes and I need to leave my office. No dog that needs walking, no parent calling me in a panic over a leaking roof or virus-infected computer, no meals to cook (I'm staying in a hotel), no cleaning or other household chores to do. It ought to be bliss! I ought to be churning out thousands of words! I even made myself a Pacemaker schedule confidently expecting huge amounts of progress!

I haven't managed to write more than one or two awful, stilted paragraphs on any day that I've been in York.

It's baffling and infuriating. This is a book that I am super excited about. I mean, super excited. I LOVE this idea. I've been sitting bolt upright in bed in the middle of the night to scribble down ideas in my notebook, I love it so much. I've done my research. My Pinterest board is stuffed. I have a playlist on Spotify and a white noise mood track on Noisili. My agent loves it. My editor loves it. I'm ready.

And yet... no words.

What's going on?

What's going on is I'm being deeply stupid, is what.

I realised it yesterday, and it made me want to smack myself in the forehead.

When I first went full-time as a writer I used to get up early, do all my household stuff (cleaning, walking the dog, breakfast, whatever) and get myself into my study by nine... and then sit there, staring at the screen in mounting frustration, wanting to write, needing to write, but paralysed. There just weren't any words! WHERE WERE THE WORDS??

It took me weeks to work out what the problem was and work out methods around it - many of which I shared with you on the blog over the years.

Don't sit down at 9am and expect yourself to write for three or four hours straight off. It's far too intimidating and your brain freezes up. Set a timer and work for half an hour or forty minutes, as fast as you can, then break and do something else for five or ten minutes (check emails, Facebook, get a new coffee, stretch) before you look over what you've done. Forty minutes is way more manageable than three hours - and usually you've then broken the morning-blankness and can carry on in forty minute sprints until you're done for the day. But even if you can't, you'll often surprise yourself with how much you can write in a timed sprint like that - certainly more than you'd write if you stared at a white screen for an hour and then gave up.

If you get well and truly stuck, don't just sit there staring at the screen until you either cry or get a migraine, or both. Get out. Work somewhere else - the library, a coffee shop - or if you can't face that, go for a walk, get the blood pumping, think about your story and what makes it special, work through the problem in your head.

Write longhand so that you remember this is just scribbles, just noodling about with ideas, getting stuff wrong so that you can work out what to get RIGHT, not deathless prose that needs to be perfect.

Don't sit down with vague ideas like 'Today I've got to get Sarah from the bridge over the river to the Capital City'. Some days - great days - you'll be inspired and can take a boring task like that and run with it, but MOST days you'll spend ages trying to just figure out WHAT COMES NEXT because it's so non-specific and anyway what you want to write is the scene where Sarah gets to the Capital and runs into the King's Guard. Always jot down a quick plan the day before, a few bullet points that will act as a road map to what you want to achieve, the shape of the next section. For instance:

•  Sarah wakes up under the bridge (covered in dew? Frogs in hair? Stiff and damp)
• Wearily washes in icy water while remembering swimming in river as a child (family memories! Better times)
• Packs up (brief descrip) and slogs down hill
• Avoids riders on the road in case it's Kings Guard, then hitches ride w/friendly farmer
• Arrives in city, smells food, feels lifting of spirits, crosses through City Gate (jostling other people, seeing Castle on the hill)...
• Bumps straight into Captain of the Guard!

Even if the scene you want to write is really cool and you're dead keen to get started on it, it can be a bit scary to start cold - especially if there are lots of actiony bits or subtle foreshadowing or information threading you need to do. Make a quick note of what you need the scene to accomplish just so that you're not searching for WHAT HAPPENS NEXT at the same time as figuring out the words to describe it. It's much easier to find great words to describe something you've already visualised and can imagine perfectly.

Dear Readers, I know all of this. This is how I work. It's how I've worked for over six years. And yet. I've basically been rocking up to my RLF office at the uni at 8:50am every morning, logging into my OneDrive and sitting there staring at a blank page in my Word doc, waiting for words to come. That's not going to happen. I can't even describe how much it's not going to happen. I know this. AND. YET.

During my lunch break yesterday I went for that long walk. I was feeling so cross with myself, and really gloomy. I didn't even want to eat, which anyone who knows me knows is Bad Juju. But as I wandered around the leaf-strewn Minster Park - with glowering brow and slumped shoulders - I slowly, slowly felt my brain clearing.

I realised I should have gone for a walk an hour before instead of just sitting there during that free period staring at my computer and willing the monitor to burst into flames. And that reminded me of all the other things I normally do on a working day - and eventually I worked out what was going on. Finally. It was a true D'UH! moment. I had to sit down on a bench for a little bit just to comprehend it, and to sigh with relief and actually appreciate the autumn colours I'd been way too grumpy to look at before.

This is is a lesson. Stupidity can happen to anyone, and that includes professional writers. You can spend years figuring out the best methods of working for you, but when faced with a new situation it's all too easy to revert to bad habits. And even the very best methods (and mine have worked pretty well for me so far) will be useless if you don't employ them. Basically, I'd been cheerfully sabotaging myself for weeks and then wondering why I wasn't getting anywhere.

*Le Sigh*

I hope no one else is self-sabotaging at the moment, but if so, and you're reading this? Knock that right off, muffins. Tell me all about it in the comments.

NaNoWriMo. SORT OF.

Hello, oh lovely readers, and welcome back! As our blog title for the day suggests, this year I'm attempting to participate in NaNo. Sort of.

Due to all the personal and health issues I had this year I never got around to running or even attempting to do my own International Creative Writing Month (sorry, anyone who was looking forward to it!). In May and July, when I'd normally have set that up, I was just about managing twenty minutes or maybe half an hour of computer activity per day before a headache set in, and that was while wearing sunglasses. It just wasn't going to work. But I still feel bummed about it. So when I sent my edits for Frail Mortal Heart back a few days shy of the end of October, I thought - why not try NaNo this year?

I should... probably have known better than to do that, really?

Well anyway, I knew that I couldn't actually sign up to take part as an official NaNo-er because the book that I'm working on in November is the Beauty and the Beast retelling I talked about here, usually referred to on twitter as #BaBBook. I've already written a chunk of the book and that means it's not eligible to be a NaNo novel. But I did intend to stick to the rules otherwise and commit to writing a certain amount each day in order to get to a certain word total by the end of the month. My goal was to produce ten handwritten pages of notes six days a week, for a grand total of 240 pages by the end of the month (I didn't count the first Sunday of the month because I was spending that day with my nieces). That would significantly progress BaBBook and give me a shot at getting a first draft finished early next year. All good.

As usual, Fate, the Muses, and the Writing Gods laughed at this plan of mine. As soon as I opened my draft document to look at the chapters I'd already written (I'd planned to skim-read them to get myself back into the correct voice and mood) I began to get a sinking feeling. I hadn't looked at this piece of writing for a month, since I'd been focusing on the aforementioned edits for TNotB #3, and it seemed that the distance had thrown some serious problems with the opening of the novel into sharp relief. I'd been feeling pretty good about those chapters and now I definitely was not. They just weren't up to scratch at all.

Fine. OK. Don't panic. The first day was just going to have to be re-writing so that I could fix this and move on feeling confident. And I know that goes completely against the NaNoWriMo principle of pushing on regardless, but I just *couldn't* OK? I had to get my ducks in a row first because otherwise the very important section I needed to write next was going to be weakened by the feebleness of what came before.

So I put in what felt like a fruitful day's work revising those chapters and getting them up to a standard that felt solid enough for me to move on, and was feeling OK about things until I got to the end of the document and realised there were pages missing there. Pages I knew I had written. Nearly a full chapter. What was going on? Had I failed to save at the end of my last writing session a month ago or something or... or... Oh. My. GOD.

I had been working on the wrong version of the manuscript.

I have two computers now - a slim laptop that travels with me, and a heavy old PC replacement that lives in my Writing Cave. I also have a flashdrive which I ferry back and forth between them, updating whatever computer I'm using with the most recent version of #BaBBook. And obviously at the end of last month, I hadn't updated the file on the Writing Cave computer with the newer version from the flashdrive. No wonder those chapters hadn't seemed good enough. They were from the middle, not the end, of September.

ARGH.

The urge to trash the room, rock 'n' roll style, was definitely rising, but after a few moments of deep breathing and staring at the calming picture on my wall, I was able to get it together. There was nothing to be done but print out the pages that I had revised, update my computer using the flashdrive and then hastily leave the room in order to watch classic anime until the urge to sacrifice myself on the alter of an elder god and then rise again as a eldritch tentacled monster of vengeance had passed.

Today, then, has been spent looking closely at the correct version of #BaBBook and inputting quite a lot of the changes that I'd made to the older version of the book's opening onto that, since many of them are still good. Two days of NaNo (during which I should have written twenty new pages, remember) down and not much to show for them, except a slightly more polished version of the first few chapters. And also a strong feeling that the last chapter, which I wrote at the end of September, needs to go in the bin and be completely rethought because it just feels rushed and wrong. Dammit.

So. Hopefully I'll get on that tomorrow and manage to construct a lead-in to the next part of the book that feels right and works. And then Thursday, I will actually start NaNo. Right?

Right?

*Sigh*

WRITERS, READERS, & PIRATES

Hello Dear Readers - welcome to Tuesday. Today I have some thinky thoughts to share about readers and book piracy. I strongly suspect that I am about to be controversial, or at least that some people will think I am, but you know me - when the train to crazytown pulls into the station, I can just never resist hopping aboard. Anyway, I'm not handing down pronouncements from on high or anything. I'm just working out what I think about stuff through writing about it. So here goes.

In the last week I've read a few of pieces that talked about this stuff from different viewpoints. First there was MaryJanice Davidson's defence of fellow author Charlaine Harris, who was apparently receiving an online battering from some fans for not giving them the ending that they wanted/expected/demanded in the final Sookie Stackhouse book. Then there was this post about how authors are increasingly being expected to happily offer their work for free (usually by people who are getting paid for *their* work - and apparently have no sense of irony). And this in turn made me think about Neil Gaiman's notorious post on entitlement in which he uses that now famous phrase: G.R.R. Martin is not your bitch (which is also referenced in the first post I've linked, by Mary Janice Davidson). Finally there was this post by Cassandra Clare in which she responded to a reader who was indignant at being asked to pay to read The Bane Chronicles.

There's a theme to these posts, and the theme seems to be... a lot of readers don't seem to like writers all that much these days. So what's up with that?

On every kind of social media now there's a level of interaction between readers and writers that would have been unthinkable ten or even five years ago. When I was a kid, if you screwed up the courage to write a letter to your favourite author (on paper, of course) you never expected in your wildest dreams that you would get a reply. And unless you were a mega-bestselling author you frankly didn't expect to ever get much in the way of response from readers about what you wrote, either. Today, readers have countless outlets which allow them to respond to and discuss books, and they contact writers all the time - on Twitter, Tumblr, on blogs and websites - in expectation of a response.

But the internet has wrought more changes than increased contact. I think it's fundamentally changed the way that readers - all people who consume entertainment, really - expect to access content that they enjoy. Entertainment downloads have gotten us used to instant gratification. If I want to own a book or a song or a TV show I expect to be able to have it NOW. And most of the time, I can. Which is why the times I *can't* surprise and frustrate me.

Then there's the rise of fanfic. I love fanfiction. Adore it. Some of the best stuff I've read over the last two or three years has been fanfiction, offered up freely online by its creators for no more reward than being able to share their love of writing with others who care about the same characters they do. And this, along with the two other factors above, has encouraged many traditionally and self-published writers to offer up free content that allows them to connect with and reward their readers - blogs like this one, Tumblrs, Pinterest boards for their books, deleted scenes and short stories, book trailers.

So now we have a literary scene - and this applies particularly to YA - where readers can generally expect discussion and interaction with writers (whether traditionally published, self-published or fanfic), where they expect to get stuff they want quickly - instantly in a lot of cases - and where a lot of that stuff is free. And all this is great.

Until it's not.

Like sometimes when I'm reading fanfic the writer will add an author's note responding to reviews. All too often they are begging forgiveness for the delay in an update and asking people not to get angry at them. Or they'll mention reviews which accuse them of 'hoarding' chapters or being a 'review whore'. Or they'll request people not to flame them for the twist that just happened, or apologise to those who are disappointed with the lack of a certain character in this scene, or respond to people who've told them their last chapter was sucky.

This makes me blink every time. These guys are writing amazing stuff for us in their spare time for free, and they also respond to reviews and make themselves available to us to discuss their work - and the response to that is to bitch them out if they didn't give out the free stuff exactly when people wanted it? Call them a review whore because they don't give *enough* free stuff? Abuse them because they wrote about character A when you wanted character B instead? How can anyone think THAT will encourage these writers to continue to update after a long hard day at school or work, when they just don't feel like writing? Many fanfiction writers do want constructive criticism, but apparently some readers are so blinded by their entitlement issues that they can't tell the difference between concrit and just being a jerk.

I suppose it shouldn't be a surprise that if there are people who are willing to be this mean and unappreciative of writers who are giving them stuff for free, there will also be those who are just as unpleasant - if not more so! - to writers who are actually asking to be paid for their work. For instance, not long ago a certain writer's new book was shipped early from some retailers, but the ebook version wasn't available until the official release date. The response to this from some readers was to send this author messages in which they not only swore at, insulted and abused this author for the fact that they couldn't get her ebook RIGHT NOW... they threatened her with physical harm.

All of this leads into my thoughts about the piracy problem the publishing industry is facing right now. Clearly, people who will send an email to an author threatening to do unspeakable things to her just because they have to wait for a week to read her book will not care about fairly compensating her for her work. In fact, if I remember correctly, the author mentioned that several of the threatening messages made it clear that they would be illegally downloading the book as another way of punishing her for (in their eyes) daring to thwart them.

But it's not just those extreme types who think that it is OK to take an author's work without their consent and without paying. It's just so goshdarned easy to get books (or music or TV shows) for free now that among quite a lot of people it's considered gauche and naive to actually pay for stuff. Like, why would you do such a quaint, backward thing?

I've heard the argument that piracy doesn't harm professional writers. In a polite debate on Twitter, Neil Gaiman himself told me that he was certain that his publisher giving away copies of his books for free online had only helped his sales. I'm sure he's right. But a publisher giving away books for free is entirely different from people pirating those books, because a) the publisher could track the downloads and get an idea of how popular the book was was and b) Mr Gaiman and publisher had agreed to give the books away for free. The income from sales had not been stolen from him without his consent and in such a way that it would damage his standing with his publisher.

My first book, The Swan Kingdom, sold around 20,000 copies. It hasn't, as far as I can tell, been pirated at all. Perhaps because it tends towards the younger end of the YA market. Perhaps because it came out in 2007 and didn't have an ebook version until 2011. But in any case, because my advance was small, this level of sales was considered quite a success by my publisher. However, almost immediately after my second book Daughter of the Flames, was released, I started getting Google alerts from websites where the book was available for illegal download.

When I investigated those sites, I was able to work out that my second novel had been downloaded approximately 30,000 times (this was in 2008-2009 - it's probably been downloaded a lot more by now). 30,000 sales would have earned me back my advance AND considerably impressed my publisher. In fact, if even half those people had paid for the book, I would have gotten my very first royalty check. But they didn't. And because they didn't, that book was and is considered a sales failure by my publisher even though apparently more people read it than my first book.

I've got to tell you, guys - that doesn't feel good.

Very successful mainstream authors can look upon 30,000 illegal downloads as a drop in the bucket. But for newbies and midlisters like me, that many lost sales makes the difference between being seen as a good risk for a new contract and getting dropped by the publisher (it can also make the difference between a royalty check that would pay the electricity bill, and never earning the advance back at all). There are a lot of newbies and midlisters out there who will probably never sell more than a few thousand copies of their books - but their books deserve to be published nonetheless. They deserve a chance. If those books - books with fresh new voices, unconventional stories, different and diverse characters - stop being viable for publishers because illegal downloads are so rife that only mega-bestselling books now make a profit for them, then our bookshelves will be a barren - and boring - place indeed, in a few years time.

A blogger that I otherwise respect once made the argument that illegally downloading things (music or books or whatever) wasn't stealing because you weren't actually taking anything away from anyone. He compared it to taking a Mars Bar from a shop in which there was an infinite supply of Mars Bars which could never run out. This couldn't possibly harm the shopkeeper, right? But the very impossibility of that scenario - neverending Mars Bars that constantly replicate no matter how many you take - ought to have made it clear that his analogy was flawed. Let's follow this flawed analogy to the end, shall we?

Because now that you have a your Mars Bar, no one ever needs to go to the shop again. Your stolen Mars Bar keeps replicating infinitely, allowing everyone that you know to eat Mars Bars forever more without ever compensating the shopkeeper or the Mars Bar factory. The shop closes and the shopkeeper is out of a job, the Mars Bar factory closes, all the Mars Bars workers are out of a job, and no new Mars Bars are ever manufactored, meaning that the copies of your stolen Mars Bar are all that's available to anyone now. Does that sound like a good outcome?

Illegally downloading a piece of entertainment is not like taking a Mars Bar from a shop. It's like going to the cash register and taking the price of that Mars Bar out of the til. And every copy that is made from your copy takes more and more money from the til, until the til is empty.

Does this sound drastic? Well, it is - but that's what happens when an industry collapses from the bottom down. Imagine how the furniture business or the stationary business or the fashion business would work if people simply stopped paying for their sofas, pens and trousers. Publishing is no different than those industries.

When you pirate books or other media, you *are* taking something away from someone. At the very base level, you are depriving a creative person of the income that they are legally and morally entitled to from their work, and you are depriving them of the ability to show their publisher/record company/production company that there is a demand for their work.

But you're not stealing from the creative person! You're stealing from faceless corporations that are only taking advantage of the creative people AND the customers anyway! It's all their fault for making it hard or expensive to get hold of the stuff that you want! If it weren't for those darn corporations we could come up with new - cost free! better! - ways of sharing entertainment and everyone would be happy and singing and dancing through fields of daisies!

Um, no. There may indeed be issues with those faceless corporations, but nevertheless they are still acting on behalf of the creative person. Regardless of what kind of artistic product is being produced - paintings, TV shows, sculpture, music, art - it is always the perogative of the person who does the work to decide how they want to distribute it and what they want to charge for it. In the case of traditionally published writers, they appoint a body (the publisher) who does so on their behalf, but this is still THEIR choice. Not the customer's. The customer doesn't get to decide the price for someone else's work. They don't get to decide how the work should be distributed or when. It's not their work.

The customer has the right to refuse to pay for books, TV shows and music if they don't want to, or if they disapprove of the distribution method. But they don't have the right to refuse to pay for these things and still get them anyway.

This isn't groundbreaking stuff, right? I mean, if you really want the latest iPod but can't afford it and think it's overpriced, as well as disapproving of Apple's business practises, you don't expect to register your protest at this state of affairs by walking out of the shop with it without paying.

But the fact that huge numbers of people are willing to steal income from writers whose work they actually enjoy isn't as shocking to me as the fact that the people who do the stealing act as if they're on some moral high ground. As if the writers are backwards barbarians who haven't caught onto 'the new paradigm' and who ought to be ashamed - yes, ashamed! - of themselves for expecting to actually get paid for their work. They should want to give their stories to the world for FREE like the fanfic authors do! Authors who try to make a living from writing deserve to be stolen from and get dropped by their publisher. So there.

That is not only a self-serving argument, it's a cruel one.

As readers we invest a huge amount of ourselves - our feelings, thoughts and time - in the books we love. Those characters can sometimes feel more real to us than people we actually know. But though we cringe and cry and laugh and fall in love with them throughout the pages of a book, those people aren't actually real. The only person in that book who is real? Is the writer. The one who put their own feelings and thoughts and time into making it something that touches you. If you would despise a character who brought harm to the fictional people in the story, then you should think twice about harming the REAL person who brought those characters to life.

Writers are not faceless word machines cranking out pages to meet demand. Try to remember that. Try to remember that writers are people. People who can be damaged, by your actions. I know it's hard to wait for the books you want, to have to save up or ask for them at the library and hope they come into stock. I know because I have to do all that stuff myself. But the feeling of having to wait for that book isn't nearly as bad as the feeling that a writer gets when they realise half the people who have read their book stole it from them without remorse, and that this has probably damaged their career. Trust me on that, too.

I hope that readers and writers will continue to find new ways to connect and develop relationships online as my career goes on. But my most fervent hope is that by the time I pass on to the great Writing Cave in the sky, we've passed into a place where readers and writers like each other a bit more.

(With thanks, smooches and snuggles to my own beloved Dear Readers, of course, whom I adore and respect more than words can say).

P.S. For my thoughts on the relationship between writers and bloggers/reviewers, you can click here. In fact, you might want to before you start flaming me for hating readers, or you'll just end up looking silly.

HEY POLAND, WE LOVE YOU!

Hello, my duckies! Welcome to Tuesday and a lovely piece of news from Poland.

Remember that beautiful translated edition of Shadows on the Moon that I went on and on about last year? It came from Egmont Polska and it's still one of my favourite things, like, ever. I was told that the acquiring editor there in Poland really loved the book, and if the steady trickle of nice reviews (in Polish) that I've been getting through Google Alerts is anything to go by the readers liked it a lot too.

However, I was a bit surprised last week to get a Google Alert for my name from Poland which didn't seem to be linked to Shadows on the Moon at all. In fact, I noticed the word Aleksandra in the text, which seemed awfully close to Alexandra - the name of the protagonist of The Swan Kingdom (my first book, a retelling of the Hans Christian Anderson tale of 'The Wild Swans').

When I used the Google Translate feature, nothing was really made clear: it was a blurb for The Swan Kingdom looking back at me, and what seemed to be a release date for later this year. In Polish? But there was no Polish translation of the book! Confused, I emailed my editor, who had no idea what was going on either, but who promised to find out.

Well, it turned out that there was, in fact, a negotiation going on between the rights departments of Egmont Polska and Walker Books. The Polish publisher were so enthusiastic about the book that they had slightly jumped the gun and put the blurb up - but that was OK, because within a couple of days a lovely lady at Walker was able to confirm that the deal had been finalised. So, soon - in March, if one website I've seen is to be believed, although I'm not sure how solid that is! - there will be a Polish translation of my very first book! It seems the discerning Polish readers really love fairytale retellings. Perhaps as much as I love them right now? No, no, not possible :)

The Polish version of the story will be called The Kingdom of Swans. And even better, there's already a lovely cover which is online at Polish e-tailers and which I shall now share with you (I didn't mention that earlier because I knew you'd scroll past my story, ha ha!).

Here it is:

Looks spooky, doesn't it? I like these unusual muted colours a lot - and the girl's steadfast, determined expression is very Alexandra too. I hope I'll end up with a couple of copies of this on my shelf in due course.

NOBODY WANTS TO READ THIS...

Hi everyone - happy Tuesday to you all. Today I'm writing a post that I'm pretty sure no one is going to want to read, but I've been wrestling with it for the past couple of weeks so...here goes.

I go through different phases with my blogging. Sometimes I have so much to say that it's a struggle to hold myself back to two posts a week. Sometimes I get a great idea and come up with one really decent post in a week and then find the tank empty - and thank heavens for Retro-Thursday/Tuesday! And sometimes - more rarely - I just struggle to come up with any time or attention for the blog at all. When that happens I know that the blog suffers and feel horribly guilty about it.

I've been going through one of those latter phases for about a fortnight now. It's been a fight to come up with interesting blog topics, but even when people on Twitter helped me out and made suggestions or asked questions, I didn't seem to be able to make anything substantial from them. Right now, just writing this, I'm grumbling and moaning as if I was back in school trying to come up with an answer for a particularly tricky exam question. It's not flowing, and I'm not having fun.

Maybe it's because I'm starting Book #3 of The Name of the Blade and there's a lot of anxiety and stress in my head. Maybe it's because things are going on with my dad at the moment - he's going into hospital for a heart operation this week - and I need to be there for him and my mum. Maybe it's just because everything's dark and cold and some instinctive part of me wants to hibernate.

In the past I've struggled through these dry periods, posting as usual, and trying not to face the fact that the quality of the blog has dropped. But this time I don't want to do that. As I've said above, it makes me feel guilty, and then that takes what little fun is left out of the process. So I've decided to try something different.

A blog hiatus. A proper one. Not a one week break from the blog while I'm on a deadline or on holiday, like I've done before, but a temporary stop in blogging activity which I think is going to carry me through Christmas and up to the New Year.

I'll still pop my head above the parapet and post if something important occurs to me to say. I'll update you if I get any exciting news. But other than that I'll be giving the blog a complete rest, and the regular posting schedule will not be followed.

I'm hoping that if I do this, by the time the 1st of January rolls around, I will have a whole cauldron full of ideas bubbling at the back of my brain, and I'll feel rested and refreshed enough to do those ideas - and my Dear Readers - justice.

So for now, I'll wish you all a very Merry Christmas, and offer my best wishes for the most wonderful New Year. Read you later, guys,

THE SUN'LL COME OUT TOMORROW

Hi Dear Readers! Due to unforeseen circumstances, I'm not going to be able to blog today. Hopefully I'll be able to write today's planned post for you tomorrow. Tune in then - same bat-time, same bat-channel. In the meantime, have a great Tuesday.

Zxxx

THE STATE OF THE WRITING CAVE

Today's blog title comes from the 'State of the Nation' address made by the President of the United States. Obviously the work that goes on in my Writing Cave is far more important than running a country or whatever, so I thought I'd flatter that poor Obama guy with some imitation. It'll make him feel important.

Aw. You can tell he's moved.

Anyway! Happy Thursday to all. Since the FrostFire Blog Tour is now officially over we're back to our regular posting schedule of Tuesday and Thursday, and it seemed like a good time to update you on what's going on around here and what I'm working on.

So back in this post I told you that my editor decided to do a sort of awesomeness-overhaul of The Night Itself (Katana Trilogy Book #1) at pretty much the eleventh hour. Working on that has kept me extremely busy for a large chunk of time (and I went through four highlighter pens. Dude) but I finished the initial - and hopefully most difficult - revision and returned it to my editor. She's going to collaborate on marking up the new version of the manuscript with my U.S. editor, because Walker and Candlewick have been working closely together on this project in the hopes of reducing the wait between the book coming out in the UK and being published in the U.S. I probably won't hear anything back about the improved version of The Night Itself until late August.

I imagine there'll be another run through of the book then in order to smooth it and polish it and make it as good as possible. I'm really crossing my fingers that I'm not asked to make any more major changes, re-think any characters or add any more new scenes at this point. Not because I don't want to do the work on TNI, but because I'm obviously trying to work on the second Katana Book (which does have a title, promise - I'll probably share it when I have a cover design for The Night Itself to show you). Before I was asked to revise the first book I was about 65,000 words into the second one, which I expected to be about 73-80,000 words long in total.

With all the changes that I made to the first book, the second one now not only needs to be finished, but also completely overhauled itself (above and beyond the normal revision process) because in many key areas it no longer matches the first book, and THAT means large chunks of action and plot and characterisation no longer make the slightest bit of sense.

The problem is that because I'm not entirely sure if the new version of the first book that I've turned in will be the FINAL version (or if I'm likely to have to make more radical changes) I don't really know how to overhaul book #2 yet. And it's hard to imagine being able to push on and finish it without overhauling it, knowing that everything I'm writing is most probably fundamentally *wrong*.

I've got a fat manuscript of the incomplete second book printed out here, in a smart plastic document holder. It's been my constant companion for the past few weeks, but I've not yet been able to bring myself to open the holder and look at it because I literally have no idea what to do with or to it. Not to mention that printing it out breaks my Number One Cardinal Rule for myself when I'm writing, which is DO NOT LOOK BACK.

Looking at any part of an unfinished manuscript has been known to cause total paralysis in my writer's brain (accidentally reading a page from the beginning of the first draft of Shadows on the Moon caused writer's block that lasted for SIX MONTHS). In this case I know I have to re-read the manuscript before I go on. There's no way I can move forward with it otherwise. But that doesn't stop my whole brain from lighting up with red flashing signs saying DANGER! DANGER WILL ROBINSON!

So... *Sighs* I've basically spent the last few weeks grinding my teeth and procrastinating to the utmost extent of my ability. Which is great. Finally acknowledging that I've also been ill for a bit (once again, kids: denial doesn't work like antibiotics!) and getting some pills has helped, because it's made the headaches, dizziness and constant nausea (which my mother insisted was caused by stress - thanks mum!) go away and now I feel slightly better. I think I'll most probably bite the bullet and try to start re-reading this weekend. Eeep.

In the meantime! Remember the Summer Scream Event in London on the 4th of August, at Foyles Bookshop at Charing Cross? Where I will be part of a panel event also staring mega-stars L.A. Weatherly, Karen Mahoney and Michelle Harrison? Well, now some new authors will also be coming along to take part in a second panel event - Ruth Warburton and Laura Powell. And this is happening - Good Lord - SATURDAY NEXT WEEK! Where did the time go? I'm getting more and more excited the closer it gets. I'll probably do a post about it on Thursday next week, just to give a bit more detail for anyone who is coming - and I promise to take pictures and write up a detailed event report on the Tuesday after I come back so that even if you couldn't attend you'll get a flavour of the whole thing.

My publisher has been kind enough to get me a later train back from London on the Sunday and I'm hoping to use that time to do some Katana Trilogy research, specifically for locations I'm planning to use in the final book, which is brilliant and I'm really looking forward to it. It will, of course, be even more brilliant if I've managed to un-chicken myself and re-read Katana #2 by then. Wish me luck with that...

How are things with all of you, Dear Readers? Unload in the comments!

MY SAD CONFESSION

Hello, Dear Readers (I say sombrely, gazing at you with mournful eyes). On this rainy (entirely weather metaphor appropriate Friday) I must make to you a sad confession.

Unfortunately this isn't one of those pretend sad confessions where I actually end up springing something lovely instead, like the fake snake popping out of a can. It's... an actual confession.

So. I am behind with answering my emails. Very, very behind.

It has always been my policy to reply to EVERY email that I get. All of them. And on my website and here I encourage people to email me and ask me questions about my books, my characters, or maybe writing. I love to get emails! I really do. And as a result I get a LOT. Over the past year the number has probably trebled. Which would be great, except for this funny thing I've noticed.

The majority of the emails I get these days are not coming to me from readers. My readers, I mean. People who want to talk about or ask questions about my books, or have even *read* my books. The vast majority of emails I get now are coming from people who either don't mention my work at all, or tell me they're intending to read something by me one day but haven't quite gotten around to it yet. So why write to me?

Well, they've seen my website or my blog, and I seem like a nice, friendly sort of author and I do say that I welcome emails, soooo... they have this question they really, really, really need an answer to. In fact, they have several questions. Questions about how to write, how to solve this problem in a story or with a character, how to get published, how to find an agent.

And please can I get back to them as soon as possible?

It's not uncommon for me to get an email which contains ten or even twenty questions, packed tightly into four or five paragraphs. And all too often these questions are ones which I have already answered on my blog (which is what the All ABout Writing page is for) or on the various pages about writing on my website. But these guys either didn't read those pages, or else they want personalised advice that requires me to have a lot of information about their personal dilemma. Or, I suspect, they don't really want advice at all. They want The Super Special Awesome Secret which I (as a published author) simply must have, and would surely hand over to them if only they asked nicely enough.

See, here's the thing, Dear Readers. There is no Super Special Awesome Secret to finishing a book or writing brilliant characters or finding an agent or getting published. There really isn't. If I knew it, I promise I would share. But it doesn't exist. And if you can't finish your story, and you've read the article about Neverending Stories here, and you still can't manage it? There's nothing more I can do to help - it's up to you now. And if you didn't bother to read the Neverending Stories post because you're sure that it doesn't apply to you and your situation is different and unique? There's still nothing extra I can offer you. Everything I have to say about the issue is already there.

So far, when I get one of these emails I've made it a practise to write a kind and thoughtful reply offering up all the links to the information which is already freely available here and on my website. And that takes TIME. A lot of time.

Because that's the funny thing about emails from readers. If someone writes to you to tell you that they read one of your books and they loved it, it doesn't take very long to reply. All I have to do is open my heart and thank that person, so much, for reading my books, for taking the time to email me. I love to get emails like that. They brighten my whole world for a while, like an unexpected hug in or a smile from a stranger in the street.

But those emails, these days, are out-numbered three to one by the other type. And the other type take HOURS to answer because they demand so many different pieces of information that I have to go hunting for, so many hyperlinks, and so much tact to respond in a way that's nice but also firm. What's more, it feels kind of sad and pointless answering them, because I know I'm not giving those guys what they really want (that Super Special Awesome Secret) and that they're probably going to go off and email some other author with the exact same questions when they don't get what they want from me.

It's gotten to the point where when I get an email with the spammer codeword in the subject line, I *cringe* instead of smiling. If I open it and it's an email from an actual reader I can relax. But if it's not, then I get this awful sinking feeling which, honestly, shouldn't be part of my working day. What I've been doing since before Christmas is stuffing all these emails into a folder in my inbox without even looking at the contents because I just can't take any more stress or pressure. Which leads back to my original point.

I am behind on my emails. Very, very behind.

I feel awful about it. Awful. I try not to even think about it, because it drowns me in guilt and worry. But whatever I do, that folder is like a folder-shaped ghost that haunts my inbox, making reproachful wwwooo-wwwwooo! noises whenever I pass through. I'm sure there are emails in there which 100% deserve a reply from me. I'm sure there are emails in there that would be a joy to read. But I can't bring myself to look and find out, because I CANNOT face the inevitable hundred requests for the Super Special Awesome Secret which will also be in there, and which I cannot grant.

So here's what I'm going to do. It's taken me a lot of soul-searching to get to this point, and I'm not sure it's the best or wisest or nicest thing to do; but right now it feels like the best option I have.

The folder is going to get deleted. I'm not going to look at it anymore, or look at the emails inside it. If you've sent me an email and I haven't already replied to it? I'm so sorry, but, as of now, you won't get a reply. Consider that email lost in the post (so to speak). And I'm never going to make a folder like that again, because all too quickly it becomes a black hole, and results in people who deserve replies getting ignored because it's just easier for me to lump everyone together in there.

If you sent me an email with five or ten or twenty questions about writing or publishing in it? Please look around my website and on this blog and I'm sure you WILL find the answer already there. If not, leave me a comment on the blog and if your question is both different and interesting, I may answer it here. If you don't want to share your question in the comments or see it answered on the blog, then I'm afraid I am not the author you're looking for.

If you wrote me an email in which you asked questions about my books, my characters or my imaginary worlds? Please resend it. I WANT to see it. I want to know what you think, and I'll try to reply as soon as possible, I promise.

And that is my sad, Friday confession. I hope you'll all forgive me!

WALKING BACK

Hello, Dear Readers. Today, I have some apologies to make.

Remember how I said, in this post about Diversity in Fantasy and in my guest post on Ellen Oh's blog, that sometimes you mess up? And when you do, you need to be ready to admit it - admit that you did a stupid, jerky thing - and learn from that, and hope you do better next time?

Well, the time has come for me to do that, as publicly as possible. I messed up, did a stupid jerky thing, and I hope that you will forgive me and allow me to do better next time.

What am I talking about? Some of you may already know, but I'll lay it out.

Last week I posted a giveaway on my blog in which I offered a variety of prizes, and I asked readers to vote for me in the Queen of Teen Award nominations.

I wanted to try and get a fantasy author - preferably me - onto the Queen of Teen shortlist to encourage diversity and show girls that it's all right to love traditionally 'male' things like books about battles and magic and sword fights. I also wanted to say: "Hey, this award may be pink and sparkly, but it's still a great thing that we should support and be happy about." None of that was necessarily a bad idea.

What was a bad idea was the way I went about it. Effectively - although I was too dim to realise this until it was pointed out to me - I was offering prizes for votes.

And that? WAS NOT OKAY.

I had fallen into that dangerous mindset - the one where you're a Crusader on the Side of Right - and where it's all too easy to do dodgy stuff and assume that it's fine because you're one of good guys. If you do it, and for all these good reasons, it's not dodgy right?

No and no, and a thousand times, NO.

There is no excuse for the dodgy thing I did. It was wrong of me to set up a giveaway in which I effectively bribed people with entries for voting. Especially because I had been given a bunch of Queen of Teen swag - badges and whatnot - and was giving them away too, making it seem as if I had some sort of official sanction from the organisers of the award.

I'm lucky that a kind, lovely author decided to pop her head up above the parapet and explain to me what my actions looked like from outside my little Crusader on the Side of Right bubble. And I hope that by withdrawing the giveaway and telling you that no more entries will be offered in return for votes, I can show everyone that I understand how very dim I was, and that I'm sorry.

I also want to say, completely up-front and without quibbling, that I admire writers of contemporary fiction for girls tremendously. I know that your work is vital, and much under-valued. I know that you tackle important, every day issues which genuinely affect the lives of today's young adults, and deal with those issues with humour and poignancy and truth. You face quite enough prejudice and quite enough othering and dismissal because you dare to dedicate your lives to fiction which is accessible to young women (because in our society nothing is more fatal to being taken seriously than this) and because publishers tend to put pretty, feminine covers on your stories (le gasp!).

Some of my comments on Twitter when I first got worked up about Queen of Teen were incredibly badly expressed. I said: 'Let's show everyone that YA is about more than just kissing!'

*Takes a moment to bang head on desk in sheer exasperation*

I know, I know. What a stupid thing to say, right? I was trying to communicate the idea that the way the award is currently presented might encourage certain stereotypical assumptions of what YA is about. But my natural tendency to open my mouth and insert both feet and the limitations of 140 characters made it seem like I was aiming this comment at contemporary fiction writers.

That must have felt like a slap in the face. You must have wanted to slap me in the face. I don't blame you one bit. I'm so sorry to anyone who felt dismissed and othered because of my stupid, thoughtless comments.

I do not want to be forever known as That Dim Fantasy Chick Who Thought It Was OK to Buy Votes. Or That Dim Fantasy Chick Who Had No Respect For Writers of Contemporary Fiction. If you want to think of me merely as That Dim Fantasy Chick? That's fine by me. It would be a vast improvement.

Anyone who, now that the ice is broken, would like to email me or comment to let me know what they think about my actions is welcome to do so. Thanks for reading - and I hope that you can eventually forgive me.

*

So...if you have already entered the giveaway, what does this mean for you? Well, at first I wanted to withdraw the giveaway altogether and draw a line under it. But I've been persuaded that it would not be fair to penalise my readers for my mistakes, which is a completely fair point. You guys didn't do anything wrong.

Therefore, I will still be doing a giveaway (though with slightly different prizes and without any link to Queen of Teen). I'll give more details on that tomorrow. Rest assured that everyone who commented on the original post will have their entries counted - that's only fair, since they acted in good faith - but please, please, please don't do anymore Queen of Teen voting. Votes will no longer be counted as entries! I can't emphasize that enough.  

Phew. OK. Have a good Monday everyone, and I'll be back tomorrow.

MUSICAL MAYHEM

Oh, phew! I'm so relieved to be here, even if it's a day later than originally planned.

Dear Readers, I appeal to you for forgiveness. I know I broke routine and didn't post yesterday, but that's because my internetz went for a Burton as soon as I tried to log on and I spent Wednesday helplessly trying to get access to any vaguely useful site. At first only Blogger and Twitter seemed out of reach. Then Facebook went the same way. In could intermittently get ONTO the internet, but then everything would freeze.

After several hours of frustratedly restarting my computer and modem, running diagnostics, trying to check the Status page on the ISP website (which I couldn't see because, duh, my internet wouldn't connect to it) and a frustrating phonecall to the company, I admit that I finally gave up. Sorry. It was that or accept my brain transforming to scrambled eggs within my skull out of sheer rage at the sight of the stupid swirly blue egg-timer.

Happy as I am that my access has come back with today's bright new (well - drizzly, grey) dawn, I can't for the life of me remember what I was actually going to post about. You've probably noticed by now that, unlike bloggers of the business-like and organised variety, I don't schedule posts in advance - I just write whatever appeals to me on the evening before or the morning of a posting day. And whatever its topic was, Wednesday's original post also seems to have gone for a Burton. Sorry again.

So let's have some music recommendations instead!

Last week I happened across this amazing band (they're actually a twosome - two singers, one guitar) called The Civil Wars. I love, love, love their stripped back, accoustic sound. It's incredibly heartfelt and raw, and I've been listening to their album more or less non-stop since I downloaded it. Here's a quick taste:

However, I soon found myself craving something hardcore, and went searching for bands that would give me a contrasting Goth/Emo vibe. As a result I downloaded some We Are The Fallen:

And some Red:

Which in turn lead me to search for something a bit power ballady. I found Anywhere But Here by Safetysuit and was pleased:

And those are my music recs for the month of January :) What are you listening to right now?

CHECKING IN...

Hello, Dear Readers. I hope you all had a marvellous Christmas and Boxing Day. Mine were surprisingly relaxing and happy. Today I'd vaguely planned one of a couple of posts, depending on my mood - one about dialogue tags, the other a run down of my Christmas loot. But today I've woken up to a blinding pain in one eye which signals that looking at my computer (or the TV, or any bright, blinky thing, including Christmas lights) for more than a few minutes is going to trigger a migraine. And I'd really...rather not. So I'll be back on Friday instead. Sorry guys. Use the time to read something awesome, 'kay?

OOPS!

Hi you guys! Happy Wednesday. I didn't actually realise that it was Wednesday until five minutes ago. Whoops. Sorry about that.

Today I fully intended to present you with a) a book review or b) a post answering some reader questions. But I haven't written either of them. I'm really very sorry!

In the past few days I've gotten caught up in all kinds of fiddly little jobs (like making an all-new playlist for Katana Book Two) and going to see Breaking Dawn (OMG lolarious epic insanity - all the actors take it so seriously and act their little hearts out and I swear I actually teared up a couple of times. Also, I can't believe THAT was a 12 rated film. Yikes) and then having to research new computers because The Scalpel's shenanigans are scaring me and then trying to read some of these books I have for review and figuring out how to work AIM chat on Skype wwwaaaaah not enough hours in the day!

I promise you that I would have written a great post for you anyway, if it weren't for the fact that I thought it was Tuesday. Before you ask how an actual adult grown-up person could not know what day of the week it is, just remember that I don't actually have to leave the house to work. I always know what DATE it is, because that shows up in the bottom right hand corner of my computer display, but the DAY is something I know because of my routine. And my routine has gotten messed up lately.

Basically, as some of you may be aware, as well as being a writer, I'm also a carer for my father, who is disabled and has many chronic illnesses. Normally I regulate my schedule around when my mum is at work during the week, so that I can do things like help with his medication and get his meals ready when she isn't there. But this past week my mother has been struck down with a nasty virus and so she's been at home the whole time, and I've been looking after both of them. And without an office job of my own to go to, it's been very easy to literally not realise if it's a Sunday or a Thursday or whatever.

So...that's the sad story of why there's no decent post today. Many apologies. I think I'm going to try and  do that reader question post (featuring Liz and Megha) on Friday and then next week I'll try to review Hallowed by Cynthia Hand (hint: liked it more than the first one).

Read you later, Beloved Peeps. In the meantime:

FORGIVE ME...

Hello, Dear Readers. Happy Monday - I hope you've had a great weekend.

Over here in Zolahland I'm still mostly lying flat on my back and getting a teensy weensy bit sick and tired of it. Typing in this position is uncomfortable in the extreme, and so is trying to write with a pen and paper, which means that the book - Big Secret Project Book Two, aka The Katana Trilogy Book Two - which is practically BURNING inside me (ohmygodyouguysit'ssoawesomecoolandheartbreakingandbeautifulillluuurrrvvveit) is not getting written.

And that makes me cranky, Dear Readers. Very cranky. Who'd have thought that a writer with a perfect excuse to do nothing but lie around procrastinating for days on end would feel so cross about it? Not me! Turns out I'm not ready for my silver procrastinating medal quite yet.

Signs are that I'm probably on the mend now. I've made the decision to stop taking the powerful muscle relaxants that made me feel drunk and groggy all the time, so my back is hurting again, though it's not nearly the blinding agony that it was last Tuesday when it first happened. All the lying flat on my back does seem to be helping. I'm hopeful that I might be able to sit upright like a normal person within a week or so.

However, I know that I promised the lovely Liz and the lovely Megha to do a post for them today tackling planning and worldbuilding, and this has been weighing on my mind. I just can't do it. Believe me, I'd like nothing more than to get at least *some* writing in, but I just can't stay in this position long enough to do it. In fact, it looks like all my posts for the next week at least will be short and sweet. It's so frustrating for me, and I know it must be for you.

Please bear with me while I heal up, Dear Readers! I will try to keep to my normal posting schedule during all this, even if all I do is offer you a pretty picture or a YouTube video that I like. And forgive me for not writing the planning/world-building post that I promised. I will get to it, honestly, once I'm back on my feet!

BLLLLEUUURRRGHHHHLLL...

...as I said to someone on Twitter. No, seriously. That was about the height of my wit at 7:30 this morning, and I'm afraid I've not moved on much since.

Yesterday was the first day of Nano, and it brought with it just over 2,000 words of Big Secret Project Book Two (YAY!). It also brought with it a strange bug which has given me a fuzzy head, achy joints, an extremely sore throat, and this creeping red rash on my face and neck (BOOO!).

And I need to try and hit my Nano target again today. Folding after just one day would be too pathetic for words. But since I'm still feeling like the grey slimy thing that one of my cats left on the doormat, those are about the only good words I'm going to be capable of, I think.

See you on Friday - when hopefully I'll look and feel and WRITE less like a grey slimy thing and more like, you know, a person.

*Waves feebly*

*Totters away to wWriting Cave*

MY WEEK SO FAR: An illustrated History

Normally, when people say 'A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words', I get really huffy. You know, just on principle. But today...today, I find that I have no words. So pictures will have to do.

As you know, Dear Readers, this week I was intending to start work on revisions of Book One of Big Secret Project. Now, every book is different, and with some books the revision and re-writing before I send the draft to my agent and editor is a dread thing. But Big Secret Project makes me so happy, Dear Readers. It gives me giggles and rainbow sparkles and fluffy unicorn lulz. So when I say that I was eager to begin work on the revisions, I'm understating. In fact, the idea of diving back into my beloved project made me feel like this:

Monday morning came, and as you also know (if you were paying attention) I was unearthed from bed quite early by a distress call from my mother and her ailing computer. But after a few hours of pressing buttons and swearing and burning offerings to the Tech Gods, I got it up and working and was able to return to my own computer and my beloved BSP. And I was pleased:

But then, when my mum came back from work, there was another distress call. Her computer was Doing It Again.

Further fiddling, consultation with a Computer Support Person, and a bucketful of tears later, we came to the realisation that the problem with my mother's beloved laptop was not one that could be fixed by mere human intervention. And the Tech Gods weren't listening. And as the only computer literate person in the immediate vicinity, it was going to be my job to jump in there and do damage control.

Complete system back-up while the thing was still whirring away. Quick research on the cheapest alternative model and an order. Quickly checking and writing down all the passwords for various websites and systems that my mum never bothered to remember because she had the computer set to automatic login. A million tasks presented themselves to me, and took up pretty much the whole day. At the end of it, I staggered away and collapsed in front of the TV, brain dead.

But at least I could get to work tomorrow, right?

WRONG.

In an act of such painfully annoying efficiency that it makes me want to sharpen my teeth with a pencil sharpener and then bite someone, somehow the replacement computer arrived yesterday morning, less than twenty-four hours after I ordered it.

This was the cause of great rejoicing for the aforementioned mother, but not so much for me as it was of course going to be my task to set up this new computer, transfer every single file and folder from the old one to it, download all the freeware (like iTunes, VLC Media Player and various anti-virus and malware programmes) and introduce my mum to scary new features like a power button and power socket in a completely different area than she was used to. In other words? No writing on Tuesday.

But tomorrow! Tomorrow it's all going to be fine, right? Computer crisis averted! Nothing to do but write, write, write!

Er...no. Because just after dinner I got a call from the plumber telling me that he and his crew would be coming around to do fiddly work in my attic in order to make my boiler safe. And anyone who can write with workmen traipsing through the house, demanding cups of tea and making the dog go into a barking fit every twenty seconds is a better man than I am Gunga Din.

My current mood?

That little scree-scree-scree noise you hear? That's me sharpening my fangs after all.

Lesson: do not keep writers from their words. IT MAKES THEM DANGEROUS AND UNSTABLE.

*Chomp*

COMPETITION WINNER (That I should have announced on Monday. Ooops.)

Hi everyone - happy Friday! I hope you're all (by which I mean the British ones - sorry rest of the world) enjoying this wonderful Indian Summer we're having.

As long as I can remember I've thought the phrase 'Indian Summer' was enchanting and lovely, and I've always longed to be able to use it in conversation. And now I can! Hurray!

Another hurray for the fact that yesterday I finally managed to get my passport interview sorted out, and, barring mishaps, I should have my very own passport sometime in the next two weeks. Now if I ever make any money I can actually go places other than the UK! Although if the weather continues like this, I won't want to...

Back to business. Today began with an Oooops as I belatedly realised that I promised to pick the winner of last Friday's Ten Things I Love Giveaway this Monday. But I completely forgot because of that comment from the girl who was made to feel ashamed about reading YA at college, which caused me to feel an overwhelming need to get my rant on. Sorry about that, everyone!

Just to re-cap, I asked people to tell me their list of Ten Things They Loved in the comments before midnight on Friday, and promised I would randomly pick a participant to win a signed copy of Shadows on the Moon. I'll probably throw in a few associated goodies like magnets and postcards as well.

Having had a few bolstering sips of coffee, I've duly crunched the numbers through Random.org and the winner is:

(Drumroll Please)

JOANNA FARROW!

Congratulations, Joanna - please email me at z d marriott at gmail dot com and tell me your address, and I'll get your prize in the post for you as soon as I possibly can.

Commiserations to everyone else, but there's always a next time on my blog, so don't feel too depressed about it. Have a wonderful Friday and a great weekend, and I'll see you all on Monday!

BIG SECRET PROJECT TEASER #3

Hello and Happy Wednesday, Dear Readers (whoa, a lot of capitals in that line)!

Today, as the faintly golden fingers of dawn crept through the gap in my curtains, I blinked, stretched, sighed - and experienced that sinking feeling known as 'Oh Cr*p, I've Got To Blog Today' which descends on a hapless blogger when they have completely forgotten to think of anything to talk about. This was not, I hasten to add, because I don't love you all with a deep and passionate devotion. It's because I wrote eighteen notebook pages of the first draft of Big Secret Project yesterday and that pretty much sucked my creative juices dry.

So since my lack of a witty and sparkling blog topic is really all Big Secret Project's fault, I thought it was only fair that Big Secret Project help me out of my blogging dilemma by providing an intriguing snippet. As always, since I'm still working on this book and it has not been sold or edited, everything you read in a teaser is subject to massive change or even deletion. An interesting fact about this section: the character name comes from a lovely blog reader who bid in the Authors for Japan auction. She won the right to have her namesake in this book, and if she checks the blog today, this will be her first sight of the result.

Teaser hidden there under the cut. Let me know what you think...

COME BACK TOMORROW!

Hi everyone - and happy Friday! I know you'd normally be in for a post today, but for a very special reason my end of week post is being delayed until tomorrow. Tune in on Saturday to find out why!

THE BEAR FACED CHEEK OF IT...

On this happy, sunny Monday, my brain (sucked dry by working on FF re-writes all weekend) is as flat and crumbly as old Play Doh that someone's trodden into the carpet. I've no wit or wisdom to share. And therefore I offer:

Bromley! He's the newest addition to my bear collection - did I mention before that I collect teddy bears? Well, I do - and was my birthday present to myself. He has the sweetest little face in the whole world:

And beautiful fur - two tone in both caramel/chocolate and vanilla/chocolate. I've never seen a bear quite like him before, and I just couldn't resist. That'll teach me to walk past the bear shop on my birthday!

Since I'm taking pics, let me introduce you to a few more members of my bear family. I have many, many bears, but most of them live upstairs and I'm too tired to go up there now (who invented stairs? What an idiot. Let me at him...) so I'll confine myself to the ones who live downstairs for the moment. First of all here's Ellie:

You can't really see her colouring that well here, but she's a gorgeous auburn. I particularly like Ellie because she's a little bit like a red panda, and we all know how cute they are. Next up Rosco:

He's an artisan bear, which means he's one of a kind and completely unique. He's also the most expensive bear I've ever bought. The sad, thoughtful look on his face enchanted me. He's a growler - which means that when you tip him the right way he makes a melancholy little groaning noise - and he's weighted, so that when you hold him he feels rather like a puppy or a baby, or some other living thing.

Finally, I introduce:

The Wolf. That's his name - The Wolf. I bought him just after I started work on FrostFire, but he's obviously far cuter and more cuddly than his counterpart in the story! I love his collar of bells.

That's all I have for you today. Not very useful or writerly, I'm afraid, but better than typing 'wibble' twelve times, which, believe me, I considered!

If anyone has any ideas for better blog posts, please put them in the comments...it'll be worth it.

MONDAY MEEBLING

That's right - meebling. I said it, and I meant it. What does it mean? Well if you don't know, I can't tell you!

*Sigh*

Fine. It just means I have nothing interesting to share today, all right?

A new week has begun. I've spent my weekend productively, feverishly writing a new Plot Shape for FF, which I sent my my editor this morning. Until I've heard back from her, there's nothing else I can really do. I'm far too restless to begin any of the wonderful books in my To Be Read pile (even the ARC of Divergent that I won, which is full of enticing Post-Its from the author that promise all kinds of insights into the story). I'm far too restless to do anything useful. I'm far too restless to write an interesting blog post.

And so...I meeble.

Look, a kitten!

*Runs away*

P.S. Isabel, I think you asked me a question in the comments the other day, which I promised to answer - but I can't find the comment now. Can you remember what topic you wanted me to blog on?

P.P.S. I think someone else asked me a question too. It may have been Steph Su? If you can remember, please comment or drop me a line.

P.P.P.S. Anyone else have any topics they'd like me to blog on? Let me know.

P.P.P.P.S. STOP THE MADNESS!