Will We See The Return Of The Vesta Meal?

Or will modern ramen noodles take over? 

Families will today be urged to stockpile three days' worth of food and water to help build national 'resilience'.

Deputy Prime Minister Oliver Dowden will advise people to make contingency plans for dealing with potential emergencies such as prolonged power cuts, cyber attacks and floods.

Blimey, that's a bit of a mixed bag! Luckily, I don't live in a flood area... 

Last year, Mr Dowden said people should stock up on 'analogue capabilities', such as candles, torches and wind-up radios, to boost their 'personal resilience'.

Thanks, 'Green' energy!  

Today he will go further by encouraging people to stock up with enough food and water to survive for three days without leaving their homes.

The next pandemic panic is going to be pretty short, then?  

Whitehall sources insisted that the plan was not designed to create a nation of US-style survivalists. One said Mr Dowden's intervention was not meant to be 'alarmist' and was simply 'common sense' advice.

Common sense...it really ain't so common anymore.  

Yes, The Law Really Is An Ass...

A mother was forced to spend £30,000 to stop her paedophile ex-husband from having access to her daughter. The father was imprisoned for sexual offending and was banned from having contact with children. But he still held parental responsibility for his daughter because he was married to the mother at the time of birth.

What?!? 

The mother took the exceptional step of asking the court to remove her ex-husband's parental rights and ban all contact, direct, indirect or through social media, until their daughter turned 18.

Why did she need to? Why wasn't it automatic? 

Despite the severity of the father's crimes, the mother was advised that the process was likely to be difficult. The father is described as manipulative and she feared he would be able to convince a court of his remorse.

Yes, well, that never seems too difficult, does it, Reader?