ALDS Wrap-Up: Jon Lester is the new ace, Rally Monkey is the new dead, Anaheim Angels are the new Chicago Cubs.

Phew. I was jumping up and down when Jed Lowrie's hit went through, yes, but ultimately, were you celebrating this victory, or were you deeply, deeply relieved?

This wasn't exactly a "Eh, we can lose this one and get 'em the next game" situation, even if Buck Martinez thought this attitude was somehow responsible for a somewhat silent 3rd inning Fenway crowd. (Buck Martinez may have been a better manager than an announcer. I wish I was kidding.)

No, this was a, "We'd really better fucking win now, or we're taking our chances with our 3rd best starter, in Anaheim, having lost two heartbreakers in a row." This was Game 6 of the 1998 NBA finals, where the wounded Chicago Bulls wouldn't have even been able to suit up Scottie Pippen in Game 7. This was everything.



And wow, did it get harrowing. Game 3 was a huge factor in Game 4, because had Papelbon not pitched two innings, there is no way he wouldn't have come in with two on and two out in the 8th, for a four-out save. Instead, Torii Hunter came up big after Masterson crossed up Varitek on a wild pitch I still believe is officially a passed ball. Was Masterson bad last night? Er...kinda; I'd be more willing to give the benefit of the doubt had he not also almost put on the game-winning run with the leadoff double in the 9th. I still have faith in him all the same.

But let's focus on the positive.



Lester was magnificent. The shortest synopsis of this series I can give is: Lackey was very good, Lester was fucking brilliant.



Bay, as he put it himself, was better lucky than good on an end-of-the-bat double, but he was both lucky and good this series.



These shirts are stupid, but so is Papelbon, in just the right way.



We're going to miss Mike Lowell, but he was clearly a shadow of himself. As the two excellent plays Mark Kotsay made in Game 4 show (one a scramble forward that Youk wouldn't have had the speed to make, the other a classic over the shoulder catch), it might be a nice thing to have a center fielder playing first base. As for Youk, I've got no problem with a third baseman playing third base.



Relief pitchers dousing Boston police detective William Dunn. Why? Fuck the police.



Dustin, please, stop. You're hurting Daisuke.



John Henry is a pimp.

We may well have just beat the best team in either league this year, we may not have. It doesn't really matter now. Tampa Bay's legitimacy is unquestionable, as is the AL East's in 2008. They took one flag. Let's take the one that counts.

ALDS GAME 1: I guess these are the Angels after all.

Another year, another series with Anaheim, a very different set of expectations, the very same result. Substitute a dominant performance from Josh Beckett for a stellar, slowly-building sort of start from Jon Lester, take a 2-run home run from David Ortiz and make it a vital, game-changing 2-run homer by Jason Bay, and the results aren't too different.

2007: Sox win 4-0, Lackey loses.

2008: Sox win 4-1, Lackey loses, bitches on about it.

It was a taut game where Lester started very shakily, but really found his footing and an absolutely wicked, downright spiteful curveball, as the innings went on. Even the run was unearned.

Justin Masterson's appearance in the 8th wasn't as shaky as it seemed--there was one solid single, one bloop made an out by a diving catch by an apparently-October-loving Jacoby Ellsbury (3-5, 2B, RBI), and one bloop over Youkilis' head made an out by Vlad Guerrero's dumb-assedness. Or forgetfulness that he wasn't fucking with Jason Giambi, or any other throw-averse first baseman. He was fucking with a bad motherfucker third baseman. And so he was out by three country miles. Thanks, Vlad.



A few insurance runs made this one go down easily in the 9th, and now we can give ourselves a hand while not going and sucking each others' dicks just yet.

(Well, maybe, maybe not. The 45 King's 2 a.m. text ["GAY FOR LESTER"] was merely the most overtly homoerotic Sox love message I received. I replied, "Gay for Bay." It's a special time of year.)

But I love Matsuzaka as my house money pitcher much more than as a pitcher of need. The Angels are a good but deeply mortal team with 100 wins fattened largely on the least competitive division in baseball. This could be fun.

We're all tied, let it fly.

Look really closely at that image. Closer. Closer. See a little spec in one of those catwalks in the middle of this of this fucking awful 18 year old former hockey stadium? That's where Jason Bay hit his shot to begin the 7-run onslaught in the 4th inning that ended Scott Kazmir's terrible start, effectively ending the game and the Rays' divisional lead. Apparently the first of its C-Ring kind. (Nine years into Tropicana Field: The Baseball Years I still can't believe I'm talking about catwalks and baseball. This place and most of the thinking behind granting Tampa Bay a franchise into such a vacuum can suck a C-Ring (NSFW).)

Anyway. We're tied. Ladies and gentlemen, Sox and Rays we are unmoored from the chains of [#] GB, and are floating in space, respectively 12 and 14 games from season's end. Some say it doesn't much matter how this end and it just matters we prove we can beat up on Tampa wherever the game may be. I disagree. All I really want's a divisional crown to take the pain away.



Okay, right, I root for a team that has taken 2 of the last 4 World Series. Pain isn't really my power. All I really want's a divisional crown because I want a divisional crown and would rather let the Rays take their turn with the Angels first, damnit. The first round of the playoffs is the scariest one to survive, and the White Sox are the best possible matchup for the Red Sox in what would be a short, sharp shock of a series, while Rays-Angels seems like the definition of a 5-game series.

That and there's just something about pennants. There's no dishonor in taking the wild card, and we all know how far one can go off it, sometimes even for both Series opponents. But Wild Cards don't look right on a flag. You can't brag about second place as surely as you don't win friends with salad.



Beckett looked great last time out, and Sonnanstine is an old Irish term for "pushing one's luck. Grab that lead and let's start to hoist that rag, boys.

Ramirez-Bay Trade Recap

To Red Sox
Jason Bay

To Dodgers
Manny Ramirez

To Pirates
Craig Hansen (from Red Sox)
Brandon Moss (from Red Sox)
Andy LaRoche (from Dodgers)
Bryan Morris (from Dodgers)

To Marlins
Not a goddamn thing, because they tried to jack the Red Sox for $9 million; yes, that's Manny Ramirez's salary, PLUS a fee. Fuck off and go finish 3rd in the NL East, you motherfuckers. And I thought we had a trading relationship.

To Hell
For cheapness and crimes against humanity, baseball, the Montreal Expos, and the Florida Marlins, Mr. Jeffrey Loria. In hell, Youppi will repeatedly jam the Quebec provincial flag up his ass. On a long metal pole.

To Terry Francona
The peace that comes with knowing your left fielder won't opt out of the game a couple hours before, and knowing that you can't accidentally blow a 5-run lead by putting Craig Hansen in.

To J.D. Drew
The #3 slot in the lineup?

To Pirates GM Neal Huntington
Props. That's some haul for one very good but not All-MLB left fielder. This team has a future.

To Tampa Bay
These nuts in your mouth. He who was to be your big trade acquisition is ours, bitches. Years of Chuck LaMar's ridiculous trade requests have come full circle now that the Rays are buyers as sellers feel the need to keep asking for more. Payback's a grandmother.

To Red Sox fans
Remains to be seen. At best, the current malaise clears up, Bay batters the ball at roughly the same rate as he did in the National League and thus makes the loss of Ramirez a statistical wash, plus defense, and we win the World Series. There are a lot of other possible outcomes.

All that I can ultimately say is that I'll miss Manny Ramirez, but for the 40 minutes there where it seemed that neither Ramirez nor Bay had been traded by the deadline, I was terrified of the toxic environment to come if he stayed.

Remember the feeling of watching total self-destruction? Me too. Now we can hope for 2004 redux (trade angry All-Star for less than equal return, change team environment, win World Series) rather than 2001 redux. Here's hoping, anyway.