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hmmmm...I think of myself as "twilight." [21 Mar 2002|03:15pm] [ mood | restless ] [ music | Unfortunately, Vanessa Williams (on the radio at work) ] Test Results You think of yourself as being relaxing, sensual, enchanting, and twilight. Others think of you as being adorable, playful, sensual, and cute. Your relationships can be described as serene, clear, beautiful, and fresh. When stressed, you feel terrified. Take this test here. post comment

Major suckage. [20 Mar 2002|11:12pm] [ mood | moody ] [ music | Cyberaktif - Nothing Stays ] My direct deposit didn't go through. The money I was waiting on for a month did not materialize. I probably won't be able to go to Funker Vogt tomorrow night. I got charged for a Craig Morrison bag I never received, and I owe my parents $50 and Frank $75. I have to take a pregnancy test in a week and a half. And one particular self-absorbed bitch (who shall remain nameless) still hasn't made an effort to get my photo album back to me. My family is grating on my nerves like they were made of hard cheese. There's a boy who's not calling me who should be. Oh yeah...and I got soaked in rain today! 2 comments|post comment

[20 Mar 2002|12:19am] [ mood | melancholy ] [ music | abscess - marvelous dreams ] you once enchanted me then you rammed your dagger in my heart and watched me bleed now i'm empty... post comment

[17 Mar 2002|06:58pm] [ mood | complacent ] [ music | aiboforcen - twilight world (fiction 8 remix) ] Today I turn 21.5. Happy St. Me day. :P CJ is in NY and we are going to smuggle him onto the Ricki Lake show in drag!...hehehe! 1 comment|post comment

Ħtequila! [16 Mar 2002|11:41pm] [ mood | drunk ] [ music | (in my head) aphex twin ] this weekend has been a blast! needle sharing on thursday night, funhouse (which sucked) and then Nevada Smith's (which, surprisingly, was kinda fun after a few drinks) with Chia last night. Then Emily and I went to Starbucks before the Giger exhibiton gallery opening and met up with Jacques there. The artwork was incredible, although Giger himself wasn't there...p00p. Jacques and I went to a Mexican restaurant with Shingo and his friends from Japan. Wheeee! 1 comment|post comment

[09 Mar 2002|02:11pm] [ mood | depressed ] [ music | Sheep on Drugs - X-Lover ] I think I'm going through a second adolescence. It makes sense - one for childhood to teenagerhood, another from teenagerhood to adulthood. The confusion, the dissociation, the angst are all there. I thought things would be better once I got a job. Once I realized how much I dislike the job I got (I was looking for a job and then I found a job...and heaven knows I'm miserable now), things went back to being as bad as they were when I was unemployed. Anyway, hopefully one of my other leads will come through soon. It is really nice outside today and I have no reason to go out. I wish the bikes weren't dead so I could go riding. And I'm broke. Oh well. :P post comment

I belong to offense you belong to abuse [28 Feb 2002|10:43pm] [ mood | blank ] [ music | Hocico - Silent Wrath ] It's been a while since I posted. So what's new? I finally got a job. Not exactly what I wanted, but... Part time, $12 an hour. I just watched Fox for 4 hours straight and pulled hairs of of my legs with a tweezer. They look wasp-stung now. I wish my lips looked wasp-stung and not my legs. I have big plans for my hair soon. :) Thinking about how I am going to bastardize my hair next always gives me something to look forward to. Frank is a good boy (I know you're reading this Frank!). We may go to a keg party in someone's house in Brooklyn on Saturday. Jacques' band is playing. Punk rock and beer...not my favorite things in the world, but better than Downtime. ;) 6 comments|post comment

b000000000 you [13 Feb 2002|11:46pm] [ mood | annoyed ] everyone disappoints me. maybe my standards are too high. 1 comment|post comment

I had a burst of inspiration... [07 Feb 2002|09:57pm] [ mood | lethargic ] Falling asleep in the waning light Then out to dance in the starry night Dancing alone in a solemn bliss Yearning for touch of a stranger's kiss 2 comments|post comment

[04 Feb 2002|10:45pm] [ mood | lazy ] [ music | Messiah - Temple of Dreams ] I love my new glasses...Emporio Armani black/burgundy plastic-framed modified cat-eyes. They are beautiful. Truly nerd chic. I cannot wait to go to Florida the week of the 17th. I will get to hang out with Farren, and meet Steve and Dino, and maybe even get to see Frank there! :) I cannot wait for the beautiful weather, and to explore the scene down there. I might go see Greg at Wesleyan before we go to Florida. I miss my DC friends, but I just can't go there right now. Too many bad memories. Bleh. :P I still don't have a job and everyone I know is busy with school or their job...boring boring boring. Today my dad took off from work and we went to IHOP and then to the gun range, our bonding specialty. So today was better than most days at home. Tomorrow I fax my resume to a job opp I found in the NY Times job section and I have my first karate class at night. Oh, joy! post comment

[28 Jan 2002|11:14am] [ mood | distressed ] [ music | La Floa Maldita - Silence / Sorciere ] Usually I only have nightmares when I am sick or when I eat a lot right before I go to bed. Neither of these applied last night, and yet first I dreamt that both my parents were killed in a car crash. It was so realistic that I woke up and tried to calm down before going back to sleep. Then I dreamt that both my sister and I lost half of all our fingers on each of our left hands in some sort of freak accident. OK, guilt or what??! What is going on here. It's a nice day outside and I am just miserable and weirded out. In other, better news: Frank is a lovely boy and we have the best of times when we're together. He makes me so happy :) We went to Zenwarp at Webster Hall and basically just cuddled, interspersed with a little bit of dancin' like monkeys :D Drinks there are $9; what the fuck?! Water is even $5. We almost didn't have enough money to take the LIRR later. I am waiting on one letter of recommendation before I can send out my application for the research assistant job at Hunter College; wish me luck! I need a job so I can get out of this house before I go CRAZY!!! (crazier?) 4 comments|post comment

man I'm pissed [17 Jan 2002|12:04am] [ mood | cranky ] [ music | Fortification 55 - Changing My Exist ] words I seem to be using a lot lately. PMS mostly I guess. I wrote a whole long entry yesterday while I was on the phone with Frank and AOL shut down and it got lost forever. :( Still, I had a fun time ice skating in Central Park Wollman Trump rink with Grace and Teresa today, but I got a little pissy when we met up with Amy at Serendipity afterwards. I wish I had my emotions back, and my memory. So I'm not a mess anymore, but I feel like a stupid robot sometimes. I went into the city with Melissa yesterday and we got each other belated Hanukah presents (she got me a De/Vision CD from Generation Records; I got her an ear cartilage piercing at Andromeda) and I also got me a haircut. The day before that we hung out in Frushing and actually had fun!! I bought $85 worth of clothing at Old Navy (!!!) - a pair of pants, four tops and some undies. All nice! and cheap! I may go hang out with Frank tomorrow, but shhhh, it's a secret!!! post comment

vitamin z? [06 Jan 2002|01:52pm] [ mood | content ] [ music | coil - blue rats ] zoloft is good. it has changed my life. i can finally take a shower now without fear. (doesn't that sound stupid? well, welcome to my life.) i haven't updated in a while...i graduated GW in December with a 3.83 GPA and close to a 4.0 in my major (just one A-). w00t!!! :D :D :D so I have been relaxing at home, taking pills, sleeping late, seeing friends, going out, the whole bit. my New Year's resolutions were, in order: (1) work on mental health, (2) get job, (3) move out. but i'm not in any particular hurry. last night I went to Downtime and actually had fun. and didn't drink! who woulda thunk it possible. there were a lot of newbies there. i met some cool ppl and pinched some bee-hinds. ;) oh, and I know _nothing_ about the bathroom door that came off its hinges...hee hee... 3 comments|post comment

[25 Dec 2001|12:14am] See which Ab Fab character you are! click here quiz made by xqueeniex post comment

h0me [24 Dec 2001|12:01pm] [ mood | relaxed ] [ music | Porcupine Defense - Power Pulse Inertia ] For what it's worth, I am done now, permanently. Doped up on Motrin and Klonnies it seems like a good thing. :) I was too out of it and it was too cold for me to go out on Saturday night, plus I had no idea who else was going that could possibly go back with me/let me stay at their place. John wants to take me to True on Friday for some ultra-gay rock night. I'm game! Today, I am going to the bizzank to cash some chizzecks, then to the city (possibly with Greg, possibly alone) to sell some CDs at Generation and have dinner on "Indian Street" with Harris. I also have big plans to buy an antenna at Radio Shack so that I can actually use my TV in my room, and I might take advantage of their return policy while I'm at it to buy a digital camera and take photos of some stuff I'm going to try to sell on eBay. This will be my stopgap money-making measure before I get a job: sell anything and everything that I don't need, that isn't going to charity, if course. Merry XMas! ;) Miss you DC folx!! post comment

[18 Dec 2001|08:28pm] Take the Corporate Mascot Test at Willaston's Lounge! 2 comments|post comment

dun-da-dun dun DONE!!! [18 Dec 2001|07:59pm] [ mood | stressed ] [ music | Ja Rule on MTV ] I haven't written in forever due to the incredible amount of stress I've been under lately. But I am finished!!!!! with my entire college career. For some reason I'm not relaxed or happy, just yet. Maybe it hasn't sunk in yet. I think I'm still in freak mode. :/ Anyway, last Wednesday, my new friend Matt took me to Philly to go to Shampoo. That was amazing! I love seeing new cities. I met a nice and very beautiful and kick-ass grrl named Coral, got to see Jesse and his friend Jeff, and had fun all around. Thursday will be my last night at Alchemy/Nocturnia :( All you DC freax, Ima miss you... post comment

[11 Dec 2001|06:39pm] I am 42.5% British, just like Catherine Zeta Jones A true English rose, but you know where the money is. Take the Brit Quiz at www.darrenlondon.tripod.com/britquiz1.htm Quiz written by Daz daz71 post comment

I am so sick in love :) [11 Dec 2001|03:15pm] [ mood | loved ] [ music | Morrissey - Suedehead ] Last night, as I sat in my room depressed trying to do homework, CJ called. We went to Kramerbooks&Afterwords; and ate dinner at 11 PM, then went back to his place. He played for me on the guitar and sang. He has a beautiful voice. I was happier than I've been in forever. We stayed up until 5 just talking, cuddling and being silly. I went to my last class EVER on 3 hours's sleep and smelling funky, I'm sure, but it was all worth it. post comment

I hate boys!!! [06 Dec 2001|01:51pm] [ mood | morose ] [ music | Prince - When Doves Cry --> Silke Bischoff - Other Side ] Last night I decided I couldn't take it any longer, and confronted the two tricks who have been fucking with my mind. One says he just likes me as a "cool girl to hang out with," and the other says he has "walls." Well that's lovely. Well, now I know. I got what I wanted. Now I realize, more than ever, that guys suck. Anyone out there up for a one-night stand? OK! In better news, not to jinx myself, but I have been doing better and better mentally/emotionally. I can make it these last two and a half weeks! And I will enjoy them! :) Sarah and I are going to the Corcoran to see some really cool exhibit by a guy whose name I forgot, hehe. Then I'll be going out later, of course. I can't drink because of the meds, but I _will_ look fabolous. And I will _not_ let Joey get to me, that bastard. post comment

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