Hey there!!! I am the biggest Dune nerd ever. I have seen the David Lynch film ten thousand times. I watch it at night before I go to sleep, in the morning before I leave for class or work. I watch it with friends. I watch it alone. I watch it with my invisible friends. So take this quiz and find out which of ten characters (I had trouble narrowing it down to these ten so shut up!) from the David Lynch film you are! And yes I have seen the TV serial. I own it. And I've read the books. I own them too. I'm gunna teach a class on Dune in a year or two as a Student Directed Seminar here at the University of California, Santa Cruz. Honest. So take this quiz and see who you are!!!!

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1. Who do you want to kill? 

that floating fat man that killed my father. damn you!!!!
the voices in my head!!! they'll drive me out the window someday!
my crazy offspring. why can't my damn kids be normal?
everyone. with relish.
the bad guys. WOO HOO!!!! bad guys! kill the bad guys!!!!
it would be too much work to kill anyone in this damn dress and wig.
YOU. I will kill you!!! **dances around**
i have a personal vendetta so once i satisfy that i'll.. *dies*
anyone who comes near my significant hot person. BOO-YAH!
i go for the pretty ones and the... oh hell i just like to pull the plug on folks, so to speak!
George W. Bush

2. When you're dead, people will remember you most for being...

a natural born leader and a bit of a messiah
wise beyond my years, months, weeks, days, minutes and seconds...
an extremely bad parent but... nice to look at
deadly. oooo i stabbed you in the back!
a really really good guy and killing all the bad guys!!!! kill the bad guys!!!!
the narrator and not really around too much except to explain what the hell is happening now and again
killed in a really gross way even though i told you I WILL KILL YOU!!!! (why prolong the inevitable?)
a traitor to my friends but hey i have a really idiosyncratic tatoo!!!!
the best damn concubine ever, arrakis represent!
really lazy and fat and ugly and flying around and screaming a lot and having really really UBER UBER bad skin
my sweet innocent Dune-free self!

3. My costuming of choice would be...

royal digs or a black rubber body suit
black. black robes. i am so gothic. wooooo....
i look gooood in dresses but i usually wear a skull cap and black robes these days because i'm so depressed about what a terrible parent i am.
a really huge coat. REALLY HUGE coat. maybe i'm wearing something underneath but you don't get to find out!!!
well whatever i wear i will still be KILLING THE BAD GUYS in it so... yeah. kill the bad guys!
whatever i wear it's too tight and too frilly and i... jesus i feel like i'm trapped in a bad movie...
i look good in anything or nothing at all. i prefer to walk around in a thong but most times i wear a really sleek rubber suit.
does it matter? god, i'm so depressed.
i like to dress butch sometimes but i also go for the femme thing. i'm way versatile. all hail my righteousness.
i wear stuff that makes me feel like i'm... WALKIN' ON SUNSHINE!!!!!
oh you know, clothes.

4. What is your (primary) vice? 

the spice.
the spice.
sex.
murder.
killing bad guys!
bad wigs.
hate.
treachery.
don't make me come over there, i'll kick yer ass.
little boys.
i don't know... chocolate?

5. what are you afraid of?  

i will not fear, fear is the mind killer. fear is the little death that brings total obliteration.
nothing, i kick ass!
that my kids will become possessed and go crazy.
nothing, i am a deadly assassin!
running out of bad guys to kill!
having to marry someone who doesn't love me. or my enormously elaborate wigs.
that my uncle will rape me. not that anyone could resist jumping my hot bones.
that the duke won't remember THE TOOTH even though there's a gross closeup shot of my mouth when i say it.
that my significant hot person will die. dammit.
nothing, i am a bad ass ugly tyrant and i can kick your ass from space.
this quiz is sooooo over my head.

6. In my spare time I...
dream of leading the next jihad to cleanse the universe and bring my people out of darkness even though technically they're not... my... people...
battle the voices in my head for dominance over my own life.
pine for my lost significant hot person and grieve over my poor, freaky children
devise evil plans to kill people and practice talking really slowly so everyone can understand me.
KILL BAD GUYS!!!!!
narrate cheesy 80s sci-fi movies.
take showers in high tech thongs and breathe really hard.
make poison gas teeth
ride giant sandworms and kick ass in general
have the doctor work on my really bad skin problem
listen to the new kids on the block! hells yes!

7. The song that best describes my life is...
One of Us by Joan Osbourne
Drain You by Nirvana
Season of the Witch by Donovan
Breakin' the Law by Judas Priest
It's Gunna Be Me by Nsync
Material Girl by Madonna
ANYTHING by Sting or the Police!!!!!
I Hate Myself and I Want to Die by Nirvana
Eternal Flame by the Bangles
Hungry Like the Wolf by Duran Duran
dude, none of the above! what the hell is WRONG with your taste in music??? The 80s are OVER you know.... *rolls eyes*

8. I am best remembered for saying...
arrakis... dune... desert planet... never one drop of rain on arrakis... the second moon... arrakis... dune...
and how can this be? for he IS the kwisatz hadderach!!!!
oh, i'll miss caladan so much!
it is by will alone i set my mind in motion, it is by the juice of sapho that thoughts acquire speed, the lips acquire stains, the stains become a warning, it is by will alone i set my mind in motion....
very little, i just kill the bad guys!
a beginning is a very delicate time...
i will kill you!!!! i will kill him!!!!
THE TOOTH! Remember the TOOTH!
tell me of your homeworld, usul
he who controls the spice controls the universe!
this quiz bites!

9. I am in desperate need of
a reality check
group therapy
parental skills training
an eyebrow plucking
KILLING BAD GUYS!
some screen time (aka a new agent!)
a career boost
a shave
some lovin'
a diet plan and a trip to the dermatologist
an enima


 


I stole this from random object quiz who stole it from The Daria Quiz, who took the code from the heepoo who took it from the Resolution Quiz who took it from the beetle quiz.

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