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Wednesday, February 11th, 2004
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1:07 pm - a little more to think about...
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Disorder | Rating Paranoid: High Schizoid: Low Schizotypal: Very High Antisocial: High Borderline: Very High Histrionic: Moderate Narcissistic: Moderate Avoidant: Moderate Dependent: High Obsessive-Compulsive: High
URL of the test: http://www.4degreez.com/misc/personality_disorder_test.mv URL for more info: http://www.4degreez.com/misc/disorder_information2.html
you are teal #008080 | Your dominant hues are green and blue. You're smart and you know it, and want to use your power to help people and relate to others. Even though you tend to battle with yourself, you solve other people's conflicts well.
Your saturation level is very high - you are all about getting things done. The world may think you work too hard but you have a lot to show for it, and it keeps you going. You shouldn't be afraid to lead people, because if you're doing it, it'll be done right.
Your outlook on life can be bright or dark, depending on the situation. You are flexible and see things objectively.
| the spacefem.com html color quiz |
current mood: bored current music: orgy *pantomime*
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| Friday, January 23rd, 2004
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1:10 pm - nifty
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current mood: amused current music: Kidney Theives/Bif Naked
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| Monday, January 19th, 2004
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11:28 pm
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i love angie!
current mood: cheerful current music: system
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| Sunday, January 18th, 2004
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10:42 pm - whoa...
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ok, so a lot of shit has gone done since my last entry for you weaklings...
my hands still smell like playdough! :D
thursday, i had to stay after and make up an english quiz, took me all of 10 minutes and then i got in an argument with my teacher over what a beatnick was... god, how can she be an english teacher? anyways, i had to stay at the school 'til 5-fucking-30 because dee had an extended detention, lucky her, and lele had drivers ed. lucky for me, dana was staying after to finish up his tv productions video so i helped him out with that and we just hung out and watched silly things on tape and the first thing meg said as she was walking in the door was, "no sex". it was great. so dee got out early kuz swinnie's cool shizzle and she found me and sshe went on a search to find us a cigarette. :D
so we finished up but she had told me not to move so we stood in the hall outside of the library and waited for her to come back and she failed her quest. so anyways, we're standing there and then this i-dot kid was like, "WE HAVE NO SCHOOL TOMORROW!!" and ran down the halls screaming. now, this had been a rumor going around that school would be cancelled because of the cold but we did not believe him so we asked SUPER MARIO himself. dana was so funny, he was like," i want to hear the words out of your mouth" and pointed at him... and by god, school was cancelled. so we danced around and froliced because it was supposed to be the last day of the term and all of us had huge projects due the next day so we were over-joyed.
so after a while dana finally had to leave kuz he had to bring meg home and he wanted to take a nap and so iwent to harass lele and then stephie and joe and pat cable, which was cool. and me and steph were like "woooo! 5 day weekend!"
so yah, julie finally came and got us in her new fucking car. she is unreal...
and then we got to stay up late 'n' stuff and i hadn't stayed up late there in a long time kuz i'm usually here on weekends or nights we don't have school whatever. and me and dee wrote a bunch of silly random songs together. it was great. and we all woke up at like 11:30 in the morning, it was super fabulous.
so we got ready and julie dropped me off at ym grams and we went out and did stuff and then dana called and said he'd be up later which was cool. so he came up and we just hung, as usual and then we remade our night plan. this time we were gonna sneek him into my bedroom. :D so about 20 minutes after he left i gave him a call on his cell and he came back and snuck in through the back and i got him in and we just snuggled in my bed 'n' stuff and a fun time was had by all. it was super cool, he ended up leaving around 1. i just wanted him to stay here so we could just snuggle all night and i could fall asleep in his arms...
and so i had to get up for work yesterday, which was not pleasant i must say but i felt like a million bucks! :D so i got ready for work and when we got there i realized i had left my hat at julie's so when i got in the store i had to call and wake up reid to ask him to bring in his vizor. hehe. so yah, when he finally came in i got to wear it all day which was awesome, i felt so special...
and then sam let me out early and dana had just gotten at the mall so it was cool. he had to work so he could only stick around for like a half an hour but it was all good. so it was him, me, jen, manda, brittney, brit's boyfriend, jaison, andy, brandon, and others and then as son as dana had to leave, curtis and mark stumbled their way to where we were and i once again got lectured about how i stole him away from them. bah haha. they still want to fight me for him and now brandon does too. so we were all just hanging out and then bjorn and joe and more people ended up showing up and i had a clove :D :D and we just all hung out til everyone started leaving. then later dave, crackhead, mike, dan, and more came... it was a fiesta.
so then i had to leave and i had bought more pink hair dye over my break kuz i was gonna redo the pink and then put in blue highlights kuz dee gave me her stuff :D
so i came back here and i started my hair and then my stupid silly ass cousin showed up and then he only stuck around for a little but i got in a fight with him which was rather humorous... and then dana came over for a little while and then we did the same thing :D as soon as he left, it was about 20 minutes later i called him back up, he parked three houses down again, came in through the back, but this time we snuggled and talked for a couple hours and a fun time was had by all once again and god i love him so much. :D so yah, he didn't leave last night til around 2-ish :D kuz he didn't have to be home kuz he was going to another one of deb's parties tonight but once again we both wanted him to just stay all night.... roar.
so yah, this morning was a bitch. i was so fucking tired. blah, i still am. so i got up and i went into work and it was me, reid, and jania, which was uber cool and we opened the store and just chilled until brianna came in and he was trying to tell her about the "no hugs rule" so i ran up to him and takled him into his chair, he knocked over his hot choclate with his head and some how i gave him a bloody nose. it was insane. then he told everybody i punched him in the nose. bastard. :P
so work was amusing today. i made reid flowers :D and yah, dana came in right before i got out because sam fucked up my hours again... he changes them every weekend and it's royally pissing me off and we're ALL getting the shaft for hours. but i'm sick of peggy's shit too. blah.
so i stole a toy because it involved playdough and me and dana ate after i got out and then jai, steph, and ryan showed up, steph and ryan went to see big fish which i heard was great and jai just hung out with us. we went with him to get his hair dye, silly emo dork... hahahahaha... so yah, the toy is stitch but you put the playdough in his ass and then push this stick thing in his ass as well and then he vommits it. it's awesome. :D
so yah, i just found out some new things... it's crazy but anyways, fluff left me a voice mail to call him back and i'm still waiting to hear from dana kuz he said he'd give me a call tonight. and i still got a bunch of stuff to type up on here tonight so i'm out. i shall probably write more tomorrow or maybe even tuesday, supposed to be going to the movies with dana tomorrow... :D and then the big meeting tuesday.
yah, it's almost a definte that i'm moving into my grandmother's this summer. i'm dropping out of school after this year and i'm gonna get my ged and work full time. i'm gonna finally get another car and live my life the way i fucking want to. no more dss. :D and finalyl i'll be free again. well almost, i just hope my grams isn't just doing the same thing momadukes did. but whatever.
~peace.
p.s. i love msi :D
current mood: giddy current music: watching pulp fiction :D
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| Wednesday, January 14th, 2004
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1:34 pm - just a quick update for now
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i'm at school with webby, it's last period, i just wanna go back to the house and smoke a cigarette.
so yah, julie did not say a single word about what happened to me until we were all in the room with deb after school on monday and she went ripshit and gave me this big long lecture but she was rational and then deb just went fucking crazy. i hate my life. roar.
so yah, then yesterday was me and dana's two months! :D and i gave him a card that took me and hour and a half to make and he drew me a picture :D it's so cute, he forgot it yesterday morning kuz he was in a rush so he gave it to me today.
then yah, this morning it was fucking cold out. it's still fucking cold out.
so yah, i can't wait til this weekend...
but i find out about what's gonna happen next tuesday when we have the big meeting thingy kuz comcare can't do anything about it.
bah ha ha. i can talk jostlen into shit. i'm good at that :D
term cloes this friday, no more spanish class for me.
well i'm out kuz the bel's gonna ring, so peace.
i love dana!
~althea rose
current mood: ditzy current music: forsaken *qotd sndtrk*
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| Sunday, January 11th, 2004
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5:01 pm - what a fucking weekend...
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ok, this weekend certainly hasn't been un-eventful.
and in other news, i might not be dropping out, i t depends on what goes down for next year...
but anyway, back ot this weekend.
so friday, julie bring me to the mall and i get there and i'm not working. ok, so dana was gonna pick me up after and we were gonna get a couple things, go to the bank, and then go to the show, so he comes and we left... we went to meg's house and watched kids in the hall and cky and then we went to strawberry's and stole some cds :D and pididle... haha... and then we went to the hanover mall in search of a potleaf sticker or a "legalize it" sticker to put on steve's bass before they played that night and had no such luck. then we went to the porno store and looked for stuff and also no sucess there either and then we were on our way to the bank so meg could cash her check and i could take out money for the show and my cell rings.
it was my grandmother, telling me that i was in deep shit because julie went to the mall and i wasn't there and she called me in on the run and blah blah blah. she told me to call julie so i did. first she screams at me that i didn't tell her i got my cell phone and then she goes off that they didn't know where i was and comcare has to know everything (which is bullsiht) and then that mary had said no more shows (which is also bullshit) and rambling on about how much trouble i was in and then to go to my grandmother's house and call from there. so i called grams back and itold her we'd be right there, only problem was that we were in pembroke in meg's car and dana's car was at her house and we haf to go back there and then to whitman.
so when i got here i called julie and she was all roar and then she was like fine, i'll see you sunday, deb will deal with this when she comes monday and blah. so i freaked out, i had already been in tears and then i was again and i was screaming about how much i hated the system. then my grandma called the on-call worker that julie talked to and said that i was on the run. so she told her that she knew where i was the whole time because she fucking did and went on and on about how this is all just a big mistake. so i was like whoa. then she didn't let us go to the show in fear that julie would be calling the house all night to make sure i didn't take off with dana, which is understandable because she'd do something liek that but she didn't so i was pissed. but me and dana went to the grocery store and got a whole bunch of soda and stuff and then to hollywood video and we rented slc punk. :D perfect movie for stress relief when you're pissed off at the system.
so he hung around til like 10 and then when he was leaving, we were outside, of course freezing our asses off! but we were hugging and stuff and then he said "i love you" and i was all like, "i love you too" and then we had the most meaningful hug i've ever had... and i was almost in tears because i have not felt like this in so long... and then he said that he was gonna say it after the show but it didn't work out that way... so i think he's been thinking about this for a while. i think the letter i wrote to him kinda "kicked him in the head"... a little. but not in a bad way... it's hard to explain! but it was what i needed that night. kuz when i first got those phone calls he was like whoa and he just held me in his arms all the way to meg's house and then on the way here he was rubbing my neck and holding my hand and telling me that everything will be alright.
then yesterday i had to get up uber early because i had saturday detention, which was awesome. me and dee and craig were just hanging out the whole time, laughing, eating, writing, whatever, it was fun. and craig followed through with the plan he came up with friday except it didn't really work. he dressed up like a pirate, mind you, he wears a suit and tie to school everyday and he was gonna have ethan get him when we got out and they were gonna make this big scene but it didn't work kuz swinny's nice and let us out early.
so then i went to work and hung out with curtis, mike, and someone else, and jai on my break and dana drove me here. we tried to ask grams to let us go to dinner and a movie but it didn't work... bah... she said maybe in a couple weeks if i stop fucking up.
so we hung out and got chinese food and then watched the pats game, THAT TOUCH DOWN WAS NOT RIGHT! he was not in the end zone! assholes! everyone in the house (me, dana, dan, and grams) were all screaming at the t.v., it was great. and then he left around 11:30 and he said it again, and so did i, and then again. :D he said that i make him beyond happy. and that it felt good to say it. :D hee!!! :D :D :D
yah, so i got up today and went into work at 10 and it was cool, chilling with reid... but as the day went on i just started sinking and sinking because reid's really changed since he found out about dana. it really killed him. he calls himself the new reid now or tells people not to talk to him at all. it's so different. but then he saw that i was bumed out and tried cheering me up the rest of our shift.
yah, and then grams picked me up and now i'm here and i really don't wanna hear it from julie tonight... and what i'm really not looking forward to is tomorrow after school... deb is gona be ripshit, which is beyond ridiculous...
this shouldn't have ended up the way it did. dana is finally cori'ed, i am allowed to be in the car with him! legally even! what the fuck is their problem... i think they just need to take the trees out of their assholes and fucking listen to me for once. they don't fucking understand and they change the rules all the fucking time and this is seriously pissing me off. i just want to leave
i've been rethinking about coming here. i mean, i will HATE, LOATHE, AND ABHOR going to whitman hanson but it will get me the hell out of dss... i just don't know what to do anymore...
FUCK!
well i'm off kuz i got other stuff to do on here and i need to pee.
`peace...
althea
wish me luck about this whole thing because they're talking about pressing charges against me for trying to "run away"...
current mood: loved current music: jay gordon *slept so long* :D (one of the cds i stole)
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| Thursday, January 8th, 2004
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1:26 pm - lalalalalalala
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i've been posting in nihilist. i've actually had a lot of thoughts lately.
so yah, i can't wait til tomorrow night. i'm going to the show with dana :D i get to see rufus and yah. it's gonna be fun. :D
yah, the whole gang of us had lunch together today. it was fun. when i get to my grandmother's house this weekend i'm gonna have to scan the picture thing dee gave me today. it's so cute. and yah. i got a shitload of work to do this weekend and work on top of that and then hanging out with dana, i think the only thing i might be able to squeeze in is going to lunchie's house about stuff. you know what i'm talking about. so sorry all.
so yah, another new plans to my life. i'm dropping out of school. i'm finishing up this year because i have to for the program but then i am done! yay! no more high school for me :D
i just can't take it anymore. i'm ruining my life. i'll get my ged and go to massatoilet and then a four school so in reality i'm spending more time in school than all of you high school geeks. it's just not the right place for me. people are telling me i'm missing out on an experience of a life time because junior and senior years are the best but frankly i don't give a rats ass about it. good bye. :D
yup. so... i'll be working like full time at mc's and i'll have money! yay. that means car and such :D and i still get to do drivers ed this year. and get my permit! :D screw the system! :D
well yah, the show is mindsett :D setback :D emptycell :D chainsaw castration :D and johnny 5... haha. i mean i feel bad for steve. it's all metal bands and then... johnny 5! haha. it's almost the same line up as last time. kuz they might be booting mindsett which i will be uber sad about because that means no marshfield kids and no rufus kuz he's their drummer :D and coldread will take their place... the last show was emptycell, coldread, setback, no way out, and stuff. i don't remember that far back and plus i was wicked baked that night :D
so yah, i'm off kuz i'm supposed to go make up a quiz but i think she already left and plus there's a few things i gott ado on here.
peace
~althea rose
current mood: dorky current music: him
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| Tuesday, January 6th, 2004
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11:13 am - lunchie munchie... hehe, no not you lunchbox... :P
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i just got back from lunch. whoo. that was great.
i <3 dana...
last night i couldn't sleep so i wrote him this big long note telling him about the other night and how i feel and stuff and yah... i just handed it to him.
roar. i hate school soooo much.
i actually might be dropping out this year and going to night school, i'm sick of this high school drama bullshit. i'll drop out, graduate from night school, go to a comm. college, and then a four year. i don't care. i'm sick of this shit. i'll learn more that way too. :D
no body wanted t ocome back to school this week. this sucks.
yah, i was talking to dave about the show friday at lunch and it was just all the same news i heard this morning from steve. emptycell might be playing again and midsett's playing! :D :D :D
so yah, condom bitch ain't here right now so i'm nto even worried about getting caught on here, that's why i'm writing again.
so yah, dee's moving down with her grandfather soon. she'll be around every weekend but i'm still gonna fucking miss her. i have to get a hold of lunchie, now that dana's coried he can bring me to bridgewater so i can meet up with you at the house and we can finally do this. :D
lee's been seriously pissing us off and i don't know what i'm gonna do at the house without dee. i'm gonna be the last of the original three... and i was the first too. i'm outlasting everyone. it's sad.
i just can't believe i've been there for over six months now. it's fucking flown by. but at the same time it feels like i've been there forever... so much has happened, so much has changed...
i have english next. yay. that class is so fun.
yah, we got the music for sr.semsba today, i'm sooo trying out. :D and the four of us have the music for blue skies we're just waiting for steph to burn the cds with the accompany. yay!
it's all about the scat, man!
i hate school. i hate school. i hate school. and i hate the people in it...
i know way too many people here and i hardly know anyone, it's scary.
this school is horrible. yesterday i was sooo tired i took a nap in ashby's class, for over half the period it was awesome.
and yah... i need a cigarette... ugh...
i wonder what dana will think of the "note"...
bah.
i'm outta here, i'm gonna go rant to webby about noodles.
`peace
~althea rose...
umm-tss,umm-tss,umm-tss,umm-tss!!!
current mood: bitchy current music: dominic the donkey... :D (lunch, bah ha ha)
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10:32 am - school
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I had to update right now…
I'm in options, bored, just chilling in the library, just a quick post.
Sunday I went back to julie's and I dropped off all my stuff before I went to work. reid was back so I didn't feel like I wanted to quit anymore and sam fucked up my schedule again so I have to call and reid let me out early because I was meeting dee and lee and kristi. so when I got out of work, dana appeared out of no where behind me and we hung out until they got there and I was hanging out with jon-o and a dee and dana before we went and saw peter pan. it was great.
then he called me on my cell around 10:30 but we didn't talk long.
yah, my phone privlages have now been taken away too because of the Saturday detention I have this sat… this is so stupid. but they don't know I got a cell phone and grams didn't tell julie so I'm still using it. :D and I can use it all night if I want to. it's great.
so yah, yesterday was horrible. waking up early and getting out to the bus stop. it sucked.
and school just dragged on. but after we had group and therapy and dana is finally coried!!! I'm so happy. so we're probably going to the setback/johnny 5 show Friday and our xmas tree adventure Saturday night. yay
well I'm out kuz the bell's gonna ring to go to lunch, yips, and there's a class coming to use the computers so peace. ~althea
current mood: amused current music: system *sugar*
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| Saturday, January 3rd, 2004
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11:19 pm - it's coming to an end...
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i just had to update because this is my last real night of vaca. damn computer made the horendous noise too but idid not get caught. god i didn't get caught at a lot of shit today :P
today was so much fun, i feel like such a rebel.
last night as i was about to go on aim dana called so i decided not to go on aim and call him from the house phone because i get no reception in the house. so we talked for over three hours last night! it was crazy and then his phone died...
well, while we were on the phone we discussed lucas's party that was happening today and how i could go and how much i didn't want to wokr today so we came up with a plan! the plan: in the morning get up, put on clothes underneith my uniform to wear around (well i thought of that part this morning, anyway), have gram bring me to the mall as if i were going to work, once there, call in "sick" and call dana, hide in borders until he gets there and go to the party. and we did it. it was great though, when i got in his car in the parking lot i started taking off my uniform and he got the wrong idea, which was so cute but then he thought i was brilliant. :D nah, i'm just evil...
so we got there and they already had the fire going, know this, it was like noon... not even... so we hung around and then more people started coming and it wasn't really a big crowd but it was awesome. we all hung out around the fire and ate and told interesting stories about train yards and such and then played frisbee for hours! it was great... we melted a dare-devil action figure which was sooo cool and one time that the fire popped something shot at me and landed right inside my t-shirt under my hoodie so my skin right above my tit is singed. oh well. and i got thwacked in the head by the frisbee and for pay pack i got it stuck on the roof of the house but lucas's little sister climbed out the window and got it. cable was there, deb, a few other kids from school, alex-and i confronted him about yelling at me at the play. it was awesome.
then around 5:30 quarter of 6 me and dana headed back to the mall, his house is the absolute closest you can live to the mall and i changed in the bathroom back with my uniform over my clothes and then i smoked a butt and blew the smoke at my hoodie kuz it REAKED of burning wood/bonfire and it just kinda blended with the smokey smell. it was cool
so yah, i can bet that they're all still out there sitting around the fire... dammit.
when grams picked me up at the mall i asked her if i could hang out with dana and go to lucas's for a little kuz it was my last night here but no...
god dammit his cori should be back monday why the hell can't i just go?!?!? roar!
so yah, i packed up my stuff tonight, i can't believe i'm already going back to julie's tomorrow. i kinda miss it there though, not really but i miss dee. haha
liz called me tonight and i talked to lunchie. :D
but my phone died and josh had just got there so i just didn't call him back, i'll talk to you later lunchbox.
and yah... next weekend should be awesome though, if infact his cori comes back monday which it should, we are so going on a christmas tree relocating adventure!! :D
now my adventures don't have to be secret and highly illegal. today was the worst i've done though. but it's cool.
i guess if you put everything all together and sum it up i had a pretty damn good vacation... i wish had gone a bit differently but there's not much i can do about it now. i tried to have all the fun i could and i think i pulled it off.
so yah i think i'm gonna hop outta here, check my email MAYBE hop on aim and then play more guitar smoke a butt and wait to hear from somebody... oh, ok, dana. hee.
so peace!
~althea rose
p.s. i haven't checked yet but i put new pics on my ftj site... i don't know if they're approved yet but i'll go check, check them out! (rainbow_goth)
current mood: amused current music: him *i love you (prelude to tragedy)*
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| Friday, January 2nd, 2004
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10:13 pm
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so yah...
dana left here at like 9:30, i may hear from him later. eh. it's all good. we had fun tonight. i guess...
when he got here we picked out a cd to listen to in the car together and then we took off. it was this place right in whitman, i don't remember what it's called and uh yah. it's too bad that she had to accompany us. this is getting ridiculous.
so fucking sue me if i want to go on a date with my boyfriend. ALONE!
roar. i fucking hate dss. i just want him to kidnap me :D
so yah, after dinner we went to regal and i got my slush-puppy and no scotty but oh well. and then we came back to the house and hung out 'n' stuff and snuggled and got i wanna sneak him over again. maybe tomorrow night :D kuz it's gonna be my last night here and we could sooooo get away with it inside this time. bah ha ha.
i dunno, i'm in a good mood and a bad mood at the same time right now. i'm so happy about stuff from tonight and how good we're doing but i have this hard depression that i just can't get over about everything. my mom, dss, my grams, family, my friends, everything. i hate this. i'm stuck in the middle again. just like mum's house.
i don't know how this is supposed to be stable, i have two different lives right now, my life at julie's and my life here. they're two totaly different things. but i'm kinda hoping to mix it into one big one...
whatever.
i think tonight i'm gonna call a couple people, well actually i think i'm gonna hop onto aim and see what everybody's up to. i might get out of here tonight i don't know. blah. maybe dana can come rescue me, my knight in shining armour.
w00t.
i'm out, i gotta work tomorrow, blah. i hate mc's without reid, there's no point to even go. and apparently i'm going to the movies on sunday with kristi and dee and lee, whatever. i just found that out today so the plans for sunday are once again changed. whatever
~peace
althea rose
current mood: indescribable current music: cheers for tears *blame it on your mother*
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4:39 pm - doo doo doo!!!
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alright... all last night i wanted to sign online but the computer was turned off and when you turn it on it makes this horendous noise that wakes up the neighborhood so i didn't. i'll probably try tonight though...
so i spent the night talking to phil, lunchbox, fluff, and then dana. oh yah and julie and dee and such.
i was on the phone all bloody night and i woke up this morning and had NO VOICE. oh well, whatever.
i did not see dana yesterday which is absolutely shocking, bah ha ha, but we stayed up on the phone until almost three. it's all good.
he's actually on his way over in a few kuz tonight we're gonna hang out and go out to dinner, but with the great one :*(, and then hang out summore.
so of course the plans to hang out in bridgewater today with everybody fell through again. whatever.
i did do a bunch of stuff today. i finally gave the money to my grams for the guitar and then i went to monty's on the wb/brockton line and got stuff for mike and julie. and then we went to grams bank and i hung out with andrew and matt and corny and bob and fred and joe for a little wihle and i also found out lisa's mum works at monty's. it was cool.
i put more of my earrings back in last night. i had to repierce the wholes and i'm probably putting a few more in tonight. i love pain :D
so yah...
i called deb today to see if she had heard anything back from the cori so me and dana could go out alone otnight but she said no and she's supposed to be getting a bunch on monday so hopfully it will be in then! god dammit.
i can't believe vaca'a almost up. going back to julie's is gonna seem weird. not hanging out, not seeing dana every night, going ot school and dealing with all the bullshit, doing school work... the "rules". god i almost wish i could stay here, ALMOST being the key word. i've been here way too long it's starting to get to me. even in my dreams.
as some of you know, not last night but the night before i had an interesting, to say the least, dream.it was about the queer eye for the straight guy show and they came to my house and i was the straight guy and i was confused because first of all i'm not a guy and second of all if i was, i wouldn't be straight and the fact that they were all in tuxs didn't seem very gay to me. but i had purple hair and they left it purple but they gave me a horrid cut... and when i came back to the house EVERYTHING was pink. it was scary.
and then yesterday was a fab 5 marithon so i just had to watch it all day and laugh my ass off. it was kinda creepy though.
well yah, i think i'm gonna do a few other things on here and then go smoke a butt before dana gets here which should be very soon so peace...
i'll write later tonight.
~althea
and yesterday i was going through old entries and found where i had written about the dream that totally freaked me out last year and i'm slowly remembering everything that happened in it and i'm a little freaked out now... and god that was almost a year ago...
current mood: contemplative current music: primus *southbound packiderm*
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| Thursday, January 1st, 2004
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6:41 pm - last year...
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so i'm looking over a few people's journals and i saw something i thought would be interesting to try... so i'm trendy, sue me
January:new years "party" at mum's house. smoked pot.
Febuary:valentines day. smoked pot. met new friends. very sick. went out with kevin again. gave up on school. hated mother.
March:went out with angie. districts. mom and i made up and then fell apart again. smoked pot.
April:trip to florida, the gayest frolic. went out with sarah. hung out in the small gym A LOT. the resin ball at lauren's. mom gave up on me. smoked pot.
May:changed my fucking life... gay prom. got arrested. thrown into dss. last time i talked to mother dearest. birthday sucked, i was ignored. fluff... smoked pot.
June:finished up school. tina's house. walbourne. said goodbyes. smoked pot.
July:moved to julie's house. summer camp. my aunt and uncle and cousins are back in my life. no pot. show in plymouth.
August:started my job at mc's. grams was back in my life. started school at silver lake. liz came. met new people. no pot. visits by friends at camp.
September:met lots of new people. spent my life at the mall (unfortunetly). still no pot. started going out with jaison.
October:sent mom a birthday card (i'm so evil). dana turned 18. dee came. SMOKED POT! met more new people. saw old friends. setback show!
November:started going out with dana :D SMOKED POT! hung out with reid a lot. saw old friends. met even more new people.
December:haven't been so happy in a long time. i <3 dana :D concert. hung out with dana, a lot. my highly illegal adventure. saw old friends.
and there was a lot more that i either couldn't think of or just don't remember... but this year is gonna have to do a lot to beat last year... last year changed my life and i changed others' lives.
it was a certainly a year i will never forget.
current mood: disappointed current music: orgy *blue monday*
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5:50 pm - as of now
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so i'm talking to phil on the phone right now and wow.
he's telling me some interesting things i was not aware of. but he hasn't changed at all.
ok so i threw the "L" word out there last night. i did it, i grew balls for a split second but i was right. it wasn't time yet. he wasn't ready to put out the "L" word but he did explain to me how he feels AND that the "L" word is too big for now. finally! someone who feels the same way i do. so i explained to him why i said it and he was all "aaawwww".
so yah... he'll probably call me in a few minutes asking if he can come over again tonight. god he's been here every night. i like it :D
so yah, last night wasn't too exciting but we did watch half baked and it brought up a lot of old memories and we did watch it last new years... haha...
and we hung out 'n' stuff and played guitar and listened to primus and him and the frog brigade and yah. we watched the ball drop. and i won for the year! :D :D i win i win i win!!! (just had to rub it it, sorry...) but i let him win last night.
yah. i made him call me when he got home because it was the worst night of the year to be driving and we heard an accident happen on the next street over when he was leaving. it was really funny, there was this drunk guy walking up and down the street and he randomly yelled a couple times and he threw a full taco bell cup at the ground and i don't know, we just found it amusing at the time. so we talked for like an hour and then i went off to bed but i just laid there and listened to music until around 2:30. oh well.
and today i did pretty much nothing. i ate. slept. helped gram clean for a little. trimmed and colored my hair. and i called julie and talked to her and dee. and i just got off the phone with phil. exciting day i must say.
so yah... i don't knwo what i'm doing tonight and tomorrow i'm going to the bank and then to monty's and hopfully hanging out in bridgewater to get together with everybody for a little kuz i miss you all so much. whole bundles even.
well i'm gonna stop adding to my novel that you all read and i'm gonna change my picture on here and then do some stuff and then check my email, maybe jump on aim and then do something more constructive with my time... like eat or sit around and play guitar or listen to something.
~peace.
happy new year.
~althea rose
current mood: accomplished current music: les claypool *long in the tooth*
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| Wednesday, December 31st, 2003
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7:16 pm - happy new year... maybe?
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so yah. it's new years eve and it's most certainly not anything like last years...
yesterday was pretty cool though. i got up around 11 and sat around the house and did absolutely nothing until i had to get ready for work.
then when i got there, there was like nobody on so i was running frantically to get everything done and finally tassy came in and the two of us frantically worked together.
then sam let me out an hour early so i found dave and josh and crackhead and mike the puppy and a few other people and we all hung out and read "sex for dummies" at borders... until we got kicked out.
and i got another primus cd kuz i had some money on me and then i went back to mc's to get a refil on my drink and dana walked up so we hung out til grams picked me up and we made plans to meet up at the house later. he stayed til like 10 o'clock and it was fun. god... why can't i just say the three simple words...
well, i might tonight :D
so yah then i talked to lunchie for like two hours on the phone, which i really needed to do. it was cool and i finally went to bed but didn't fall asleep til about 2. whatever. it's all good.
so i got up today and hung around the house, took a shower and went to marcello's. got a cheeseburger sub, boo-yah. and then kev-o and auntie picked me up and we went to skatetown. it was fucking great.
we got there and there was hardly anybody in there. so we little did i know my cousin forgot how to skate and watching him attempt was rather fun. he kept falling and shit and it was just great. he kept giving up but i made him get off his ass a bunch of times and told him i'd slow down and skate with him. that worked for about two minutes...
i felt so proud of myself because i SUCK at regular skates but i can rock out rollerblades... i was a little wobbly at first i fell three times as soon as i got on the floor but then i was getting the hang of it and skating with the guys who work there and they're fucking crazy.
so this one little kid fell right infront of me (this was like an hour into skating) and i couldn't get a good enough angle to make it past him and i landed right on my ass. it was hysterical. so i sat there and yelled at him for a minute and i saw my aunt standing at the counter buying a drink so i went over there and she got me one too. after sitting there for a couple songs, my absolute favorite song came on... :D so i got up and skated my ass off and played air drums and guitar and everyone laughed but i didn't care. i found out afterward the only reason they played it is because don's the dj there, and i've known him for years and he wanted to get me back on the floor kuz he said i skated funny, but that's only because i'm so used to inline.
god i love him. he's got the worst taste in music but it's great. he even played the new outkast for me :D
and country for my cousin... and queen for my aunt.
so yah, after another hour they started playing their little game thingys so we took that as a hint to leave kuz we're not playing any stupid games on roller skates, we'd be killed. so they brought me back to the house and i've just been chilling here since and dana just called and he's coming over for the night and we're gonna watch the ball drop and it's gonna be whole bundles of fun... yah right, bullshit, it's gonna be sitting on the couch ascross the room from my grandmother for 3 and a half hours. blah, oh well, atleast we'll be together...
i think lunchie talked me into using the big word tonight... i've been thinking about it more and more and i think i might be able to grow the balls to do it as the ball goes down tonight... maybe... i'm not promising anything because i AM a wimp, but i'll let you all know if i do.
so yah... i'm still thinking about what happened in court the other day ago and it boggles my mind...
there's only two ways i can get my stuff out of my mom's house without breaking in again. ONE is, if they actually do catch her, now that she has a warrant, if she's locked up we can go in. and TWO is to sue for small claims and drag her ass into court. i think the first one would be a little more pleasant. for me anyway. :D
i'm so evil... i love it.
but yah anyway, there's a couple other things i wanna do on here before dana gets here so i'll probably update tomorrow kuz i have to work on my english project anyways, peace...
happy new year
~althea rose
current mood: blah current music: primus *wynona's big brown beaver*
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| Tuesday, December 30th, 2003
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1:28 pm - happy happy joy joy
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so yah,
did not sleep at all the night before last... i just laid in my bed and listened to my new cds... and cried, and such fun things. my alarm went off when i was still awake, isn't that always a pleasant thing?
i wasn't worried about the fact that mother could be there, i was more upset about the fact that if indeed she did show up, it means legally i will never go home again. sit on that one all night...
but, grams dropped me off early and i frantically smoked a cigarette in the parking lot in search of "someone" and after about 20 minutes i gave up and went inside and sat there. no one was there yet (lawyer, social woker, etc.) and then i got up to go search for "someone" again and as soon as i started walking he confusedly walked in the doors from the stairs. i was so happy to see him.
so we sat and chatted until jostlin came and then finally lawton came over. and he told me the same stories again and blah blah blah. he's a riot though, he went off again about he was a hippie in his day and that he had lsd for breakfast and now he doesn't do so much, only 4 or 5 days a week. and he was BANGING his head against the wall telling himself to sober up. he turned to me and dana and said, "last night was a hell of a night, i must of had 20 marijuana cigarettes, i'm sure you guys know this feeling"... we died.
it was great. and only after two hours they called my name and i went in and i actually talked to the judge myself for once. for some reason every time i stand there i shake and sweat. well, my hands sweat anyway. they extended my case for 6 more months because mother nor father showed up yesterday and they officially have warrants out for their arrest. god i hope she gets pulled over for speeding or something stupid :D
i'm so evil.
so jostlin drove me back here and my aunt had called so we made plans to go out to eat and then go bowling- which was fucking perfect, i got to throw things at other things without hurting anything, myself, and anyone else. :D
so we got there and it was a disco bowl, it brought back old memories of timberlanes last year :P
and then dana came over about a half hour after i got back and stayed til like 10 o'clock. we watched mallrats and hung out 'n' fun stuff.
yah, then a little before he was leaving we talked about how much we wanted to fuck and we came up with a whole bunch of plans of how we could sneak it and then we both kinda looked at each other at the same time and said back porch. and he asked me if i wanted to to last night and i was all for it. so when he was leaving he said to call him if it was "safe" before 10:30 and he'd just drive around until i called. well as soon as i came back in the house grams went to bed so i was like W00T! so i waited like 20 minutes and then i went out bac kand called him and he said he'd be right up. i waited a little while and then i saw him walking through the back yard. the one issue was we didn't know where he would park so he parked down at regal and walked here.
so... yah things happened and it was a little too cold out and such but that's all i'm gonna say... and then whe nhe was getting ready to leave (i'd say about quarter past 11) he realized he didn't have his keys with him and that he had locked them inside of his car. so i ran in the house and grabbed some change for him to call triple a when he got down there from the payphone and then he left. he's the sweetest guy in the world...
he called me when he got in his car from his cell phone, i was glad to hear for him that he made it back into his car.
i dunno, he means so much to me and he cares about me so much and... i wanna use the "L" word because it's the only word that describes how i feel about him and the feeling i get from being with him but... i dunno, it's a big word. roar.
well anyway, i have to start getting ready for work... blah. i have to bitch at sam again today...
and tomorrow, i can't fucking believe tomorow is new years eve *thinks of last years* i'm going ot skate town. w00t. last time i went there i was with ashley and that's when she met bobby. bah ha ha... good times.
well i'm off, peace.
i'm so happy today :D
current mood: happy current music: System of a Down *Spiders*
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| Sunday, December 28th, 2003
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9:02 pm - dum dum dum
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i've been meaning to write but i've had no time whatsoever.
so yah, christmas, the big fucking "holiday" i woke up and it was like a normal day, no big surprise. it was a normal day.
well, minus later on...
so yah, around 3ish i believe we headed out for auntie's house and when we got there no one was there yet so we swopped our presents and just hung out and everyone in that house is sick, it was great.
so yah, then everyone started showing up and i got to see jamie! :D i hadn't seen her in a very long time. and we started talking about other halves and some of the gang heard us and i was interrigated by them as to who my other half was and why he wasn't there... so i just told them because they were there and yah. they realized what i meant.
so gram left and then like an hour later kevo brought me back to the house and i called up dana and told him it was safe and he came over. :D
so yah, now i forget what i was gonna write... dammit.
"stoop"ed burn out brain :D
so yah, then day after, we went out and did stuff and i got a new cell phone and yah, then dana came over and we brought back the shit printer to walmart where i ran into liz's mom and we waited in line for a half an hour and then we ordered pizza when we got back and me and dana picked it up. it was cool.
then yesterday, i worked... blah. i hate the mall and john hit on me ALL day, i'm getting sick of it. and then on the way back to the house gram said jeff called and i was like, ooo fluff and she was like yah so i called him on the cell on the way and HE SAID, "do you wanna hang out tonight?" i almost dropped the phone and shit my pants! i was in shock all night, infact i still am that HE called earlier and looked forward to hanging out all day and then HE thought of hanging out... my god! the world must have been upsidedown yesterday! so we hung out and he broke my bed (long story, nothing dirty, don't ask) and then he left and i was all like whoa.
then today i went to the MALL of greatness, haha, and i bought 3 new cds with all my giftcard mania and i got a dead head bear sticker for meeee guitar! :D but yah, work SUCKED BIGTIME MONKEY BALLS TODAY. and i was ready to fucking quit.
but i don't want to ge tinto that now because i just got out of my "work is evil mode"
so yah, dana rescued me and we hung out for a little and then gram picked me up and then he came over tonight. hehe... we've hung out almost everyday for over a week now. :D i like this.
me and lunchie had a chat about my new drug tonight, scared him for a minute but yah. it was fun.
so yah, i've been so fucking happy, it is unreal. dana makes me sooo happy. it's almost like... something else... from the past... but BETTER. it's strange and so many bizurk things keep happening.
ROAR!
i have court tomorrow.... eeeeeek... i don't want to do this...
but someone's gonna be there for me so i'll be fine. i'll be sorry for my mother if she actually decides to show up this time... *tells self to not lower self down to her level* IT'S NOT WORKING!
well yah, i'll get on here tomorrow and tell you all how it went.
i don't want to do this... and the great one is only making this harder!!! roar!!!
w00t.
~althea rose
post a comment if oyu want ym new cell number so i can give it to your ass!
current mood: awake current music: HIM *razorblade kiss*
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| Wednesday, December 24th, 2003
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11:19 pm - happy merry? what?
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boo-yah. i love presents!
yesterday was pretty cool. gam drove me to school but i got there a little later than i would have liked to kuz we got vanilla chai... mmmmmm... but anyways, i gave everyone their presents and bunches of people gave me loot too. i feel so loved. it was cool.
yah, then after school me and dana brought meg home and then we drove to the mall kuz he was bringing me to work and we got there and we hung out for a little then we went around with reid kuz reid was determined to buy me something because i got him something. i had to clock in at 3:30 so dana shopped and harassed me at work and reid frantically shopped til he clocked in at four. he left the stuff in the back and wouldn't let be go back there because he had to "fix" it. so all through work he kept running back there battling with it and i was so curious as to what it was because he started trying to use tools... turns out it was a hamtaro doll and in the long run of the joke of "karll" he "fixed" it. i almost died when i saw it. he also got me a singing laugh-a-lot bear and an abe linclon bobble-head guy. he's one of the greatest guys in the world.
then later dana came up and we hung out for a few hours and watched my brandy-new PRIMUS cd/dvd thingy! it's the coolest thing in the WORLD and it brought back memories of childhood i didn't know i had.. of sitting on the couch as a youngster watching their videos with tim.
thank you so much doug, it is the coolest thing in the world!
so i have been raised on very strange music, but it makes me a stranger person :D
god, we always come soooo close... i just wanna rape him!
he left at like 11:30 and i smoked a butt and went to bed. didn't get up til noon, i was proud of myself. so i sat around and watched more primus stuff.
oh yah, tonight was called off so i gave dana his presents last night and he loved them. (tonight= x-mas eve hooligan fest at gram's... she's REALLY sick)
so around 6:30 i jumped in a nice hot bubble bath, it had been years since i've had one of those... :D it was cool, and later dana came over and brought me my presents :D a bunny (my sick obsession :P) and rocky horror dvd :D (kuz mine's at mum's)
he was over for a while. god he makes me so happy. and he keeps telling me i make him so happy and i could just hug 'n' snuggle with him all the time. tonight we came pretty c lose again... i'm gonna kidnap him!
uncle glen came over while he was here and brought presents as well and was shocked when i told him we didn't have our fiesta tonight. he gave me this big basket of stuff and the head thingy... THEY'RE HAUNTING US!
(the quick version of the story of the head thingy) one night, me and dana were at the mall after i had gotten out of work and he wanted to buy one but didn't have enough money to get it and gas that night so we ended up not getting it. i was planning on getting him one for x-mas and did and yesterday reid almost got me one... then dana freaked out last night when he opened it and then my uncle glen got me one tonight... crazy.
AND when we were at the mall with ethan monday dana was gonna buy me the rocky dvd then but i picked it up and was like, "aaawww" and then when he came over tonight i was wearing my rocky shirt. strange things are happening, but it's cool.
yah, tomorrow i believe gram and i are headed up to the hanover house... but i don't know if she's gonna go kuz she's all sick and stuff so if not dan or kevo are gonna pick me up and i'm going to their party thingy. and then dana's gonna come over tomorrow night, that is if he doesn't go with me tomorrow kuz then he'll already be here afterwards anywho. i don't know what's up though. whatever goes is whatever goes.
for some reason it doesn't even feel like christmas. i have no holiday spirit at all. i woke up this morning as it were a normal day and it's fucking christmas eve. eh. it is a normal day. i'm not really one for xmas anyways but this year just really blows. but it doesn't matter kuz i'm so happy. so happy.
i can't describe the feeling i have when i'm with dana i love it.
but i'm off to go listen to eddie (which dana brought me last night) or watch more of rocky :D
~peace
happy merry to all, and to all a good night.
current mood: loved current music: OH ROCKY! how could you?!
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| Tuesday, December 23rd, 2003
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11:24 am - :P
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hey everybody!
i'm in school, in english hanging with nikole looking up por n stuff and i figured hey why the hell not update.
i talked to fluff on the phone for HOURS last night. it was crazy, old times man.
yah and then i GOT PRESENTS!!!
wooooo!
ok, i'm gonna go now kuz uh, anthony's on fire...
yah. bye
~aaa
dee is a fruitloop and i almost got in a shitload of trouble kuz of her.
current mood: loved current music: "DooDLe iS mAdE oF cLaY"
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| Monday, December 22nd, 2003
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8:27 pm - my highly illegal adventure
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ok, today was fucking awesome.
this morning i got up and showered and gram drove me to school and blah blah blah but anyways i get there and dee and leeanne find me and dee has this huge fucking bag with presents in it and it was for me. there was a mini skateboard, care bears patch, care bears postcard, funny fortune cookies, a card and such and i was like whoo. she died her hair blue again and put her lip ring back in. she got two rings, god i want to put mine back in too. i miss mine! but i can't wear it at work.... dammit dammit dammit... anyways, lee got me a beanie and nikole gave me the most humungus poster i've ever seen of pink floyd's the wall and it is the coolest forshizzle i've seen... ever...
and then school went by and things were cool and lunch was hysterical with paul and then after school i was hanging around with ethan dana and kaitlyn and i was waiting for my grams to pick me up... she had been sick since last night and when me and dana both walked up to the car she asked if he could bring me to the mall so i could finish christmas shopping so she could go home and go back to bed. it was the greatest! my gramma breaks the law!
so me dana, ethan, andrea, and meg all headed to halifax and we dropped meg off at her house and then andrea at dana's dad's house to get ready for work and me dada and ethan drove to the two banks in halifax to get money to shop. we picked up andrea and drove her to bob's and then ethan drove us to plymouth to go to the laughing moon and revolutions but rev. was closed and we decided to skip laughing and me and dana made out and such in the back of the car and ethan drove like a psycho mafia limo driver. it was awesome. so then he drove us back to the mall and dana and i continued to make out in the back of the car and then we shopped. it was fun... also interesting to try tobuy something for the person that's standing behind you.
so we were at the mall for a couple hours and we froliced and hung out and saw people and i finished shopping and then the three of us came here. we hung out for a little and then they went back to ethan's house.
so not only did my grandma get to get more sleep, i got to go on an adventure and dana and ethan got away with something highly illegal! :D this is fun!
uh... i know it was more exciting than that but i'm just trying to remember what else happened...
fuck.
dana wasn't sick i had just forgotten that he had to get his foot thingy on saturday morning and couldn't walk so he never came to the mall and he got there sunday as soon as i got out of work and started about the mall. dammit.
so yah... i have a feeling there will be many more adventures to come :D
oh yah... now i remember!
when we got to plymouth, dana and i weren't exactly paying attention to where we were so when i got up when we parked i looked out the back window and the dss/comcare building was in plain view, so i was like shit! we can't park here! if they see me get out of the car with you guys we're all fucked because they know that neither of you have gotten the forms back yet because that's where they'll be when they're done and trust me, they know what i look like... so ethan was like, "GET DOWN!" and we drove frantically to another area. it was great. and then we got lost in filienes. hehe. that's not the first time that's happened to me before :P (holyoke)
so yah. i'm all like whoo- i feel like santa claus kuz i just wrapped almost a hundred and fifty dollars worth of presents... my god you people are fucking expensive!!! "merry fucking christmas now fucking celebrate!"
yah... last night was cool, i talked to dougie for a while and things and yah... i was out back.. i had a good time with a couple of neighbors... fire... and stuff...
yup yup well i'm off kuz i have more important things to do than sit here and do nothing. i'm gonna sit in the other room and do nothing in a little. :D
w00t.
yah, hopfully more illegal adventures tomorrow too. i think gram's gonna drive me to school but i think dana's bringing me to and from work :D hehe. reid's gonna fucking hit me with his present... :D
i'm gonna be santa tomorrow! lots 'o' presents for everyone! well, not everyone. only those who i can bear to put up with :P
and then there's presents for fluff, phil, angie, lunchie, and such. i love you guys.
:D ~althea rose
i <3<3<3 dana!!!
current mood: happy current music: "SKAMO"! (and scat man!)
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