|
* its the surpressed rebel inside of quiet children  that runs riot in later life : killers are quiet. */cute little dead grrl\*/crazy kiddos\*/calendar\*/boys kick me\ /writing journal\*/dream journal\*/dead journal\ *navigation:/<--20 entries back.\* |
| Monday, 24th of February, 2003 |
|
||||||||
Deh..so much work to do for school. :( I don't like school...
my sister's friend Ruth drew a picture of Avril and it's making fun of her -it's cute. lol. Evidently that grrl likes me a lot and wishes I was her big sister...it's kinda funny being that I've met her two times..regardles though it makes me happy. It's nice to be well liked even if it's just by my sister's friends. lol. I'm so fed up with school though...ugh, occuping my thoughts too much. Only a few months left then high school is done and hopefully college will be fun (if i get in...^.^;;) It's insane...I don't feel like a senior. I haven't done a whole lot of maturing (well maybe i have..it's just been so spread out i guess). it stresses me out that i'm so *unprepared* to be an "adult"....i've never even had a *real* job before (all i've done is babysit, helped teach children's acting classes, and helped teach a children's art class....but i suppose that's all well and dandy if i *do* become a kindergarden or 1st grade teacher..). ughainflahi4ehaljfklahldjaljdlka2. I should stop thinking about it. |
||||||||
 pass the crayons | 3 scribbles
|
| Saturday, 22nd of February, 2003 |
|
||||||||
|
Well I was in Portales (about 4 and a half so hours east of here) since Wednesday for the ENMU drama fetival thing. It was alright I guess..I wanted to write a fun entry about all that happened and stuff but I'm not in the mood right now so maybe I will later. :*:shrugs:*: To sum up though: some shows were good, some weren't. ENMU has a nice theatre and a rad drama department but I'm glad I decided not to go there cuz I hate small towns (especially when they smell like cow :P). how sad, i'm a senior. no more festival performances for me. i did do three though so that's cool (but only one was a large role...gah, i'm so stupid..it makes me feel bad that i'm so obsessed with needing to have large roles..it's not a good thing and i know it's not but i also know it's only a high school thing..ya know a "i'm a senior and a pretty alright actor and should be getting large roles" thing..:*:shrugs:*:) Oh yeah well pretty beat-ish and not wanting to type much more now... |
||||||||
|
pass the crayons
|
| Monday, 17th of February, 2003 |
|
||
 You are a vampire. What legend are you?. Take the Legendary Being Quiz by Paradox ( more... ) |
||
|
pass the crayons | 1 scribble
|
| Sunday, 16th of February, 2003 |
|
||||||||
|
Do you ever have those moments where you just wish you could just disappear? Yeah, yesterday was just one of those moments prolonged a bit. ...I don't feel much like going into it now though..I just worry myself sometimes and I wish I had better control of my surrounding and of myself. :( But anyways..today I'm feeling alright-ish, except for a super runny nose and feeling sick (maybe i was outside in the cold with a lack of clothing for too long) and my eyes sting. :*:shrugs:*: Hopefully I can avoid all my problems today. |
||||||||
|
pass the crayons | 5 scribbles
|
| Saturday, 15th of February, 2003 |
|
||||||||
|
LoL. Boyband-ish music amuses me. :) I downloaded Backdoor Lover by DuJour, U + Me = Us by 2gether, and that Go Go Gadget song by Youngstown today. I forgot how amusing those songs were. I know, I'm weird. Tonight is Closing Night for Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead..wee... I need to play DDR. Man that's the best game ever. So....addicted. You. Plus Sign. Me. Equal Sign. Us. LoL. Aww..lame songs by fake bands make me happy. |
||||||||
|
pass the crayons | 1 scribble
|
|
||||||||
|
I'm such a confused little grrl. - - - - { so much to say and so unsure how to say it } - - - - |
||||||||
|
pass the crayons
|
| Friday, 14th of February, 2003 |
|
||||||||
|
I feel like shit. Today was horrible. I don't want to go to the show tonight. I don't wanna go anywhere. I don't wanna stay home. I just want to disappear for a while... and to stop crying. |
||||||||
|
pass the crayons | 1 scribble
|
| Wednesday, 12th of February, 2003 |
|
||||||||
|
Well..started my period, yup. So I came home during 3rd period. I hurt too much to do anything. I swear, I have the worst periods ever. Mass ammounts of pain. headaches. body aches. puking, chills followed by fever followed by chills. yup, i have it all...and i feel fat and yucky. -- 63% of people believe in love at first site. 67% of all americans will say "i love you" today. -- that's what i've learned from the abc family channel today, while watching 7th heaven..suck my cock...the shows so dramatic..it's lame and i'm addicted. R&G; opens tonight. Wee. I'm not nearly as excited as everyone else i fear. :*:shrugs:*: i dunno....small parts don't do it for me. too hard for me, i suppose. :*:shrugs:*: or i'm just not into it.....probabaly a bit of each. deh, and portales next week...at least i won't be on my period then. my kitty Merton slept with me and took care of me all day..it was sweet. :) this is what i want according to the love test: 1. You are attracted to those who have split personality, like cold as ice on the outside, but hot as fire in the heart. 2. In the process of courtship, the approach that would make you feel irresistable is straight-forward, just tell you he/she loves you. 3. The impression you would like to give to your lover is stylish. 4. You don't like it when your partner is insecure. 5. The kind of relationship you would like to build with your partner is one which make you feel warmth and in-love always. 6. You care about the society and morality, you won't do anything wrong after marriage. 7. You think of marriage as a precious thing. Once you get married, you'll treasure it and your partner very much. 8. At this moment, you are quite self-centered; you think of love as something you can get and trash anytime you want. So, evidently, today is Steak and Blowjob Day. so does he like eat the steak while he gets the blowjob? :*:makes a very confused/disgusted face:*: riiiight. moving right along.... well, painkillers are not so much working...need to lay down again. have a nice day chil'en. |
||||||||
|
pass the crayons | 3 scribbles
|
| Sunday, 9th of February, 2003 |
|
||||||||
|
Oh it snowed last night. It was nice. It was snowing for *so* long. There's still snow in my front yard. Dah, it's nice. Except I was wearing my short little chinese dress so i was a bit cold. heh. Ian and I went to dinner and stuff. It was nice. :) Then I was too lazy to walk in those huge high heels and ian carried me to my door. ^.^ :*:swoon:*: he's so great. i'm such a grrrl, i know. :? but i had a good night. |
||||||||
|
pass the crayons | 1 scribble
|
|
||
|
||
|
pass the crayons
|
| Saturday, 8th of February, 2003 |
|
||||||||
|
I'm still somewhat sick. I've decided I have a hXc cold and the flu virus is trying to attack but the cold is like "bam bictch, i was here first." Shut up, I'm a nerd Last night was good too btw. Played DDR with Ian and Katy. Watched Lion King with Katy...heh heh did you know Matthew Broderick plays the voice of adult Simba? CRAAAAZY. Uh..but yeah, I hafta go to the lock-in thingy for Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead pretty soon..the biggest concern for me is the props right now. bah. oh well... Hey, you know what else is today. Today is our one year anniversary! Yay! :) Well time to shower....or play neopets. (>.6) |
||||||||
|
pass the crayons | 3 scribbles
|
| Thursday, 6th of February, 2003 |
|
||||
|
ImSLrMoOn1: oh hey winny, is the phrase play it by ear or play it by year? Winwon5: ear ImSLrMoOn1: thank you. :-) Winwon5: well it's true ImSLrMoOn1: i know. ImSLrMoOn1: ian thinks it's by year though. Winwon5: well he's wrong ImSLrMoOn1: i know. ImSLrMoOn1: but he doesn't. ------- ImSLrMoOn1: hey nat-a-rat-tat! ImSLrMoOn1: quick question. T0OlGiRlie: woah hey dani ImSLrMoOn1: is the phrase play it by ear or play it by year T0OlGiRlie: ear ImSLrMoOn1: thanks. T0OlGiRlie: youre welcome ImSLrMoOn1: my boyfriend thinks it's "by year" ImSLrMoOn1: he's a dork. T0OlGiRlie: lol set him straight ImSLrMoOn1: i'm trying..lol. T0OlGiRlie: boys are stubborn they never listem ImSLrMoOn1: word! --------- ImSLrMoOn1: okay.....commonly used phrase is it play it by ear or play it by year rad like that: play it by ear. ImSLrMoOn1: thanks. rad like that: heh rad like that: anytime. ImSLrMoOn1: ian is convinced it's play it by year for some reason. ImSLrMoOn1: what a dork. rad like that: hmm rad like that: Yeah rad like that: Tell him he is wayy wrong. |
||||
|
pass the crayons | 2 scribbles
|
|
||||||||
|
Why does everything about life seem so bad when you're feeling down? Why do I feel down so much? It's definatly not a normal or good thing. Lots to say....head hurts...not actually gunna say anything. My great aunt Maria died today. At least she didn't suffer. (so much death in my family...) Gunna go make myself dinner. I'll try to avoid any destructive behaviour. |
||||||||
|
pass the crayons | 4 scribbles
|
| Wednesday, 5th of February, 2003 |
|
||||||||
|
yup, that's right, ian's biggest fantasy is having hayden christiansen's cock in his mouth. ..and yeah the jamie/ewan mcgreggor joke is dead so i won't discuss that. the end. |
||||||||
|
pass the crayons | 5 scribbles
|
| Tuesday, 4th of February, 2003 |
|
||||||||
|
Have you ever :: {x} Fallen for your best friend? uh...i guess you can say that. i've also made best friends of someone i've fallen for. {x} Made out with JUST a friend? yeah. {x} Been rejected? mmm....i've never been rejected by someone i've asked out. but there's been times i was afraid of rejection so i didn't ask them out. {x} Been in love? yes. {x} Been in lust? yes {x} Used someone? yes {x} Been used? Yes. {x} Cheated on someone? yes, regretfully. {x} Been cheated on? yes {x} Done something you regret? of course. who hasn't? (a very luck person, i guess.) Who was the last person :: {x} You touched? uh..probably my sister. {x} You talked to? aidan {x} You hugged? my sister {x} You instant messaged? aidan {x} You yelled at? probably, katy {x} You laughed with? :*:shrugs:*: i dunno. Have you : are you : do you :: {x} Considered a life of crime? yes. {x} Considered being a hooker? yes, not seriously though, i think, maybe. {x} Considered being a pimp? no.{x} Are you psycho? yes {x} Split personalities? uh...not really. {x} Schizophrenic? no. {x} Obsessive? Sometimes. {x} Obsessive compulsive? to a certain extent. {x} Dream of mutilated bodies, blood, death, and gore? yeah. {x} Dream of doing those things instead of just seeing them? uh...... {x} Understanding: i try, i'm not increadibly to a certain extent i am. {x} Open-minded: Yes. {x} Arrogant: mmm..:*:shrugs:*: i don't think so...maybe.. {x} Insecure: yeah. {x} Interesting: sometimes. {x} Hungry: yeah. {x} Friendly: sometimes. {x} Smart: yeah...well, i dunno, i'm not stupid though. {x} Moody: oh fuck yeah. {x} Childish: sorta. {x} Independent: mmm...to a certain extent. {x} Hard working: for something i like i am. {x} Organized: not really. {x} Healthy: heeeeellllllllll no. {x} Emotionally stable: not so much. {x} Shy: more often than not. {x} Difficult: yes. {x} Attractive: not so much. {x} Bored easily: Yes. {x} Thirsty: no. {x} Responsible: yes, more than most. {x} Sad: often {x} Happy: yes, i am happy sometimes... {x} Trusting: not usually. {x} Talkative: sometimes. {x} Original: people aren't original. i may be more "orignal" than most but i know i'm not completely orignal, everyone is influanced by things around them. end of story. {x} Different: everyone is different. {x} Unique: once again, yeah...to a certain extent. {x} Lonely: often. {x} Color your hair? not in a while. {x} Have tattoos? no. {x} Piercing? on in each ear. {x} Have a boyfriend : girlfriend? yes i do. {x} Floss daily? no. {x} Own a webcam? yes. {x} Ever get off the damn computer? not today, usually i'm not on it. {x} Sprechen sie deutsche? no, i only speak english. {x} Habla espanol? not so much. i used to. wee. it was my first language. {x} En Francaise? J'ai pris 3 ans du francais a l'ecole. Je ne parle pas le francais. Currents :: {x} Current Clothes: white charlie and the chocolate factory shirt and red and black "chill" pants lol. {x} Current Mood: throat-scratchy. {x} Current Taste: nothing. {x} Current Hair: back in a spaloof thing. {x} Current Annoyance: scratchy hurty throat. {{x}Current Smell: nothing. {x} Current thing you ought to be doing: sleeping. {x} Current Desktop Picture: same thing i've had forever. {x} Current Favorite Group: uh.....tbs. {x} Current Book: i'v reading Blood and Gold and Remains of The Day - the latter is for school. {x} Current DVD In Player: i don't have an effin' dvd player. {x} Current Refreshment: your mom. yum. {x} Current Worry: that i won't feel better tomorrow. {x} Current Crush: uh..Ian Henry Colburn but shh don't tell anyone. Oh wait, we've been dating for a year. :) {x} Current Favorite Celebrity: uh..:*:shrugs:*: Favorite :: {x} Food: rice. {x} Drink: green tea. {x} Colour: deep purple, black, color o' bubbles. {x} Shoes: chuck taylors {x} Candy: junior mints, cherry jollyranchers. {x} TV Show: simpsons, boy meets world {x} Movie: that porno me and your mum made last night. {x} Dance: none {x} Vegetable: cucumber. {x} Fruit: pomogranite. On Dating :: {x} Long or short hair? not too short yuck. some guys look bad with long hair though. double yuck. i like ian's hair. {x} Dark or blond hair? uh..blonde ^.^ but black is okay too. {x} Tall or short? tall {x} Mr. Sensitive or Mr. Funny? both please. thanks. {x} Good boy or bad boy? good boy. {x} Dark or light eyes?: light. {x} Hat or no hat? ne :*:shrugs:*: {x} Pierced or no? don't care. {x} Freckles or none? not too many freckles...but doesn't matter. Other :: {x} Chocolate milk or hot chocolate? depends on the mood. {x} McDonalds or Burger King? mcd. {x} Marry the perfect lover or the perfect friend? a bit of both. {x} Sweet or sour? i dunno. {x} Root Beer or Dr. Pepper? drp {x} Sappy :: action :: comedy :: horror? all. wee. {x} Cats or dogs? cats {x} Ocean or Pool? depends {x} Cool Ranch or Nacho Cheese? cool ranch. {x} Mud or Jell-O wrestling? mud {x} With or without ice-cubes? with. {x} Shine or rain? rain. {x} Winter :: Summer :: Fall :: Spring? depends. {x} Vanilla or Chocolate? depends. {x} Gloves or mittens? gloves. {x} Eyes open or closed? peaking. {x} Fly or breathe under water? fly. {x} Bunk-bed or waterbed? i used to have bunkbeds and the bottom one was a waterbed..how hXc is that? {x} Chewing gum or hard candy? Hard candy. {x} Motor boat or sailboat? ne'er been on a sailboat {x} Lights on or off? i always have the lights out. {x} Chicken or fish? Chicken. What's your favorite :: {x} Number? i dunno. {x} Holiday? Nat'l Water Fight Day in Poland. {x} Radio station? none {x} Place? :*:shrugs:*: {x} Flower? african violets. {x} Scent? your mom. yum. Just a few more :: {x} If you could be anywhere, where would you be? i dunno. {x} What would you be doing? cuddling {x} What are you listening to? boy meets world. {x} Can you do anything freakish with your body? my joints are bendy-ish according to ian..oh god, that sounds bad. ^.^;; but it isn't. just the hyperextension in my arms and my fingers and my feet and stuff. {x} Do you have a favorite animal, no matter how lame it may be? i dunno. i do enjoy Arbez the Zebra though. |
||||||||
|
pass the crayons
|
|
||||
 stephen malkmus (pavement): he is clever, and you are hot shit. go find a shady lane and fuck off! who's your indie rock boyfriend? brought to you by Quizilla I'm an irredeemably eejitous, liberal, tight as fuck, relatively well adjusted human being! See how compatible you are with me! Brought to you by Rum and Monkey ( more.. ) |
||||
|
pass the crayons | 3 scribbles
|
|
||||||
yeah, no school today cuz there's the competencey(lol i can't even spell it how sad..) for sophomores. (poor ian, isabel, jarvis, jeffy, alex, brandon, and everyone else...what a waste of time it is..)..but i probably can't go to rehersal either because my mum thinks i should stay home because i'm sick and i agree..maybe just staying home and relaxing will make me better..dah stupid throat pains and coughing. :( | ||||||
|
pass the crayons | 7 scribbles
|
| Monday, 3rd of February, 2003 |
|
||||||||
|
So, I didn't get Desdemona. :( The grrl who got her isn't very good. :( and this is her *first* show at AHS which I think is unfair. You know why she got it and I didn't? Because she's blonde and Adkins wanted Desdemona to be blonde. :( It's really rather sad...and even sadder, 3 senior thespians (all good actresses) didn't get roles. :( but on the other hand (1) it didn't upset me nearly as much as I was expecting to...and (2) I did get a role..and a good lead role (actually the role a lot of females preferred..) - Emilia (Iago's wife/Desdemona's attendant). :*:shrugs:*: Hopefully the play will be good...Petey is Iago and he's our best actor in our department ^.^ and Gabi and Geskah both got cast - Cassio and Bianca (though neither of them have accepted the roles yet.] - and they are also both wonderful. So, hopefully it'll be a good show. :*:shrugs:*: well I'm feelin' yucky so I'll go watch some Boy Meets World. |
||||||||
|
pass the crayons
|
| Saturday, 1st of February, 2003 |
|
||||||||
|
You are Melpomene, the Muse of Tragedy.  Find out which is your Muse. - brought to you by Amanda. the only thing as they listed Artemis as the god of music but she's the goddess of the moon, the hunt, and virginity/unwed women. yup. |
||||||||
|
pass the crayons | 3 scribbles
|
|
||||||||
|
I have sand in my shoes. It's fun. Haven't had sand in my shoes for what seems like a million years. Something comforting in it. (shuddup. i know i'm a dork) Well..yeah...the show is *finally* over. one step closer to the end of high school. so sick of all the drama. wish i wasn't part of it. i don't like the fact that so many people talk shit about me and are too cowardly to make it known to me that they dislike me. everyone i dislike is treated accordingly by yours truely. so Merton, Star, and Willow are all in my room it's so happy. my kittys make me happy when they keep me company. massive headache. increadibly tired. didn't do much today but had a good day regardless: watched music videos, saw ian, played ddr, had pizza, went to the show (BLEH), talked for a while with shannon, came home. hmmm...i hate being home so early. it's just it's hard to avoid my family. bah. speaking of family: my sister just got a domain or something (she's signing it up and paying right now..) which is rad cuz my website will be hosted on her site. :) yay! i ran out of room on my freewebs thing already...lol. well..i suppose nothing more to say. rad. ps - it was gross...petey was walking around in his underwear again and this guy from sandia hs was like "man, i've got you beat" and like throw off his shirt and dropped his pants and he was wearing like a bikini thong thing and yeah, ew. it was really not so much non-disgusting. ewwwwwww. everyone was like in tears because they were so afraid. none of us even know this guy..lol. |
||||||||
|
pass the crayons
|
stressed.
nauseated.
numb.
amused.
content.
weird.
sleepy.