Suddenly, the living room is plunged into darkness! As she switches to her identity as Supergirl, Linda uses her telescopic vision to determine that large areas of Midvale are experiencing power failures. Discovering the source of the black-out, Supergirl digs underground and repairs a broken power-cable, allowing thousands of volts to harmlessly pass through her invulnerable body. Later, back at her parent’s home, Linda resumes thinking about the movie they saw earlier. She explains how it’s inspired her:

LINDA LEE (SUPERGIRL) DANVERS:
Mom…Dad…I’m worried! It doesn’t look as if SUPERMAN is ever going to marry Either Lois Lane OR Lana Lang! I don’t want him to be an unhappy bachelor FOREVER! Maybe if I played Cupid…fixed it so he’d meet the right girl…he’d get married, and not live unhappily ever after, like that sorrowful bachelor we saw in that movie!

FRED DANVERS:
That’s OUT! Don’t interfere in SUPERMAN’s personal life, Linda! Every man prefers to pick out his OWN wife!

That night, Linda dreams of what sort of life Superman could enjoy with his ideal mate -- one that includes cuddling in front of a heat-vision-lit fire and home-cooked meals served to the Man Of Steel’s alien visitors! The next morning, Supergirl flies to make a quick stopover at Superman’s Fortress Of Solitude located in the Arctic Circle, then accelerates at super-speed to travel into the distant past. Arriving in the ancient city of Troy, she locates Helen, “the most beautiful woman of all history”, awaiting to watch an arena competition between her warrior-suitors, with her hand as the prize. Supergirl’s sudden appearance startles Helen, but Rhondous, the court advisor to her father, King Tyndareus, is unimpressed. When Superman arrives (in response to a note Supergirl left him in his arctic fortress), Supergirl introduces him to the lovely Helen Of Troy. Meanwhile, Rhondous agitates Helen’s potential suitors, sending them against the Man Of Steel, but he effortlessly shrugs off their attacks. Frustrated, Rhondous then orders for the “beasts of doom” – a chubby Minotaur and a unicorn -- to be released, but with her cousin occupied, Supergirl handles the two mythical critters. To mask his treachery, Rhondous blames the fracas on his assistant, Patronius, but when she sees that Helen is about to order him to be executed him with a “thumbs down” gesture, Supergirl uses her super-breath to force her lovely thumb up, instead, sparing his life. Shortly, because of her heroic deeds, the Trojan committee spokesman proclaims Supergirl as “The Toast Of Troy”. But this honor attracts the spiteful jealousy of Helen, who’s irked that everyone’s ignoring her in favor of the blonde interloper. Sensing she’s no longer welcome, Supergirl, with her Kryptonian cousin, return through the time-stream to 1962. There, in the Fortress Of Solitude, Supergirl studies an arrangement of statuettes of the Legion Of Super-Heroes – which inspire her to hatch a new romantic scheme. After cleaning up the Fortress Of Solitude at super-speed – to demonstrate to Superman how great it will be to have a wife! – she invites him to accompany her to a Christmas party – 1,010 years in the future! Emerging from the time-barrier, they enter the Legion’s clubhouse -- and are greeted by the adult versions of Cosmic Boy and Phantom Girl. (Here’s a shot of their cosmic Christmas tree.) After exchanging gifts, Supergirl extols the virtues of the adult Legionnaire, Saturn Woman. As the two old friends chat, the Maid Of Might uses a dart game to manipulate a sprig of mistletoe over their heads. In response to the old tradition, the two exchange a kiss – twice!

SUPERGIRL (thinking):
Wow! – A SECOND KISS, under ANOTHER mistletoe! …Wedding bells, get ready to chime!!

But suddenly, the smooching superheroes rudely interrupted by a third party:

LIGHTNING MAN:
Hey, what do you mean by kissing my wife TWICE, SUPERMAN? – Don’t OVERDUE the Christmas spirit!

SUPERMAN:
Your WIFE, LIGHTNING MAN?…--Er, this party has been great fun, but I’ve got to return to the past now!

Later, back in the Twentieth Century, Supergirl admits to her cousin that she’s been trying to arrange a happy marriage for him – but has failed both times. Superman kindly reassures her:

SUPERMAN:
If I ever DID marry…it would be to someone super and lovable like…YOU! We can’t marry because we’re cousins! Though cousins CAN marry in certain countries here on Earth…we’re both from the planet KRYPTON, where the marriage of cousins was UNLAWFUL!

Taking her cousin’s words literally, the irrepressible Supergirl gets another idea. Using one of the fortress’ super-computer, she determines that a “superwoman” identical to herself exists on , Staryl, a distant planet in another solar system. Insisting that Superman owes it to himself to find out if this mystery woman could possibly be his perfect mate, Supergirl urges her Kryptonian cousin to visit Staryl. Sure enough, as Supergirl watches with her telescopic vision, Superman and her duplicate, Luma Lynai (yep, yet another “L.L.” character added to the Superman mythos!) immediately fall madly in love. But when he brings her back to Earth, her superpowers suddenly fail her and her body is wracked in agony. Swiftly carrying Luma back to Staryl, the Man Of Steel makes a gloomy deduction:

SUPERMAN:
Only one explanation…! You’re a SUPER-WOMAN due to the solar rays of your ORANGE sun! I was unsuper when I was a child on the planet KRYPTON…which had a RED sun! It was Earth’s yellow sun’s solar rays which later gave me super-powers?

LUMA LYNAI:
But what…?

SUPERMAN:
Earth’s YELLOW sun rays, which make ME super-powerful, affect YOU destructively, the way GREEN KRYPTONITE’s rays harm me!…You can never…live on Earth! I’ll stay HERE!

LUMA LYNAI:
No! Earth needs you! Go! – Forget me!
(then, thinking):
I’ll always love you…

Later, back on Earth, Superman explains the tragic situation to his sobbing cousin.

SUPERGIRL:
>Sob!< -- It’s all my FAULT, for t-trying to rush you into marriage! I promise NEVER to meddle in your romantic life again! >Sob!<

SUPERMAN:
Please don’t cry…Maybe fate had a purpose in foiling your three attempts to get me married off!

SUPERGIRL (thinking):
Gee! Perhaps his future bride will be Lois Lane or Lana Lang after all…Could that be fate’s plan?

Later, back at home, Linda Lee (Supergirl) Danvers relates her experience to her parents, promising that she’s through playing Cupid – forever. But shortly, while doing her history homework, Linda sees an illustration of Cleopatra and begins to daydream about what Superman’s life would be like if he were married to the “queen of the Nile”. Suddenly, Linda slams her textbook shut, with an ironic expression on her young face:

LINDA LEE (SUPERGIRL) DANVERS (thinking):
Oh-oh! There I go again! Cleopatra will have to be content with Mark Antony and Julius Caesar! I promised not to interfere in SUPERMAN’s love-life again! I’ll keep my word!

Also included in this issue of ACTION COMICS are the stories and features:

• A black-and-white, inside-front-cover house-ad for DC’s THE ATOM, HAWKMAN, AQUAMAN and METAL MEN.

• “Superman” in “The Super-Practical Joker!”, drawn by Al Plastino. – THE DAILY PLANET editor Perry White introduces his staff -- consisting of Clark (Superman) Kent, Lois Lane and Jimmy Olsen – to Mr. Willis, one of the newspaper’s biggest stockholders. He’s brought along his young nephew, Dexter, who he wants to learn “the business as a reporter”; pressured by Willis’ influence, Perry offers the kid a job at THE DAILY PLANET. But when Jimmy welcomes Dexter with a handshake, the newcomer’s arm comes off in the red-haired cub reporter’s right hand! While startled Jimmy realizes that the “arm” is actually a plastic prop, Dexter offers Perry a cigar – which promptly blows up in the rough-hewn editor-in-chief’s face! Next, the practical-joking pest tries to frighten Lois with a rubber snake; Lois nearly blows her stack, but Jimmy warns her that they’ll have to put up with Dexter’s pranks since he’s the nephew of “a big shot publisher”. When Dexter attempts to cut preoccupied Clark’s hair with an electric clipper, their blades break on his indestructible hair. Lois witnesses this, which enflames her ongoing suspicion that Clark is, in reality, Superman! :Later, Dexter fools the Man Of Steel when he tosses a photographer’s dummy out the window, forcing Clark to change into his Superman identity to rescue the “victim”, humiliated when he publicly discovers Dexter’s ruse! To get him out of their hair, Perry orders Jimmy to take Dexter along with him on an assignment to cover the arrival of a shipment of rare, wild animals. Once the “hee-hawing donkey” is gone, Perry warns Clark that his recent series of articles about the “Avenue Ten” mobsters has attracted the gang’s attention – and threats! Meanwhile, jokester Dexter takes Jimmy on a ride in his special convertible. When the car takes off with both of them in the back seat, Jimmy freaks out until Dexter reveals that he’s secretly driving with the aid of a concealed control panel. Finally arriving at the Metropolis piers, they learn that an accident has allowed a huge gorilla escape from the animal shipment. While Jimmy and Dexter search the nearby park, Clark uses his telescopic vision to detect the runaway ape high atop a building-in-progress, about to clobber a police helicopter with a steel girder. Interceding, the Man Of Steel is on the receiving end of double punishments, but both the police’s bullets and the gorilla steel beam bounce off of his invulnerable form. While Superman restrains the struggling simian, he’s summoned by the “zee…zee…zee…” of Jimmy’s special signal-wristwatch. Flying to his young pal’s aid, he finds Jimmy facing a second gorilla – which his x-ray vision soon determines is just needle-nosed Dexter in a gorilla suit! Jimmy nearly loses his temper, but the Man Of Steel stops him from clobbering the nuisance-nephew. As Dexter drives back to THE DAILY PLANET in his specially-designed automobile, Superman decides to have some fun while secretly teaching the young practical joker a lesson. Suddenly, the car starts driving on two wheels, then parallel to the ground along a retaining wall, then backwards! When Dexter abandons his vehicle, he wanders by Legend Land Park, an amusement park famous for its giant metal-and-plastic replicas of mythical monsters. Suddenly, the beasts come to life, chasing Dexter, who’s unaware that airborne Superman is controlling them like marionettes, using “strings” made of fine wires of “Supermanium, the strongest metal known”. Superman “herds” Dexter onto a street that’s lined with abandoned condemned buildings that are due to be demolished. Suddenly, the buildings shake and begin to collapse, causing Dexter to flee for his life to avoid being crushed by falling debris! Rounding a corner, he finds Superman, who’s responsible for the phony cataclysm. And when the Man Of Steel admits that he’s been behind the practical jokes that have befallen Dexter, his super-laughter demolishes the buildings that were previously left standing! Later, after switching back to his secret identity as Clark Kent, the reporter is approached at gunpoint by one of the Avenue Ten mobsters. Forced into a waiting car, Clark and Dexter’s hands are bound. But before they can be taken to their final destination, Dexter effortlessly slips out of his ropes – thanks to his trick with the phony plastic arm! While they escape, one of the gangsters clobbers the back of Clark’s head with a heavy wrench, but it doesn’t even slow him down. Seconds later, the Metropolis Police arrive and apprehend the crooks, but suspicious Lois – with memories of those broken clippers still at the forefront of her journalist-brain -- has witnessed his apparent invulnerability and demands an explanation. (Please notice that she doesn’t seem at all concerned with Clark’s condition!) Later, Clark demonstrates that, due to the Avenue Ten mobsters’ threats, he’s been wearing a steel helmet that’s an exact replica of his “own combed hair” – that explains why those clippers shattered, too! With that out of the way, Clark sincerely thanks Dexter for his help with that phony plastic arm, but the stockholder’s nephew declares, “Believe me, that was the last practical joke of my life! I don’t even want to hear of one after being on the receiving end of some super-jokes!”

• “Ollie”, a 2/3-page gag-strip by cartoonist Henry Boltinoff.

• “Coming Super-Attractions”, a 1/3 page house-ad for the latest issues of ADVENTURE COMICS, SUPERMAN’S PAL JIMMY OLSEN and SUPERBOY, all “Superman family” titles edited by Mort Weisinger. This features plugs for such Oddball stories as “The Bizarro Who Goofed Up History!”, “Jimmy Olsen’s Wildest Adventure!”, “The Super-Mischief Of Superbaby!” and “The New Life Of Krypto!” (Who could possibly resist sure-fire Oddball entertainment like that?)

• A half-page ad for GRIT -- “America’s Greatest Family Newspaper” -- that announces, “Boys, Here’s a Swell Way to Make $1 to $5 Weekly in your spare time – and Win Dandy Prizes Too!” (What, girls weren’t allowed to sell GRIT?)

• “Metropolis Mailbag”, a letter-column.

• “Little Pete”, a 2/3-page gag-strip by cartoonist Henry Boltinoff.

• A 1/3-page application for membership in the “Supermen Of America” club, offering a membership certificate, a button and a “Superman code”.

• A half-page house-ad for the first issue of THE ATOM.

• A half-page ad for New Jersey’s “Palisades Amusement Park” featuring a Wayne Boring-drawn depiction of Superman, including coupons for free rides on the carousel and the “Cuddle-up”.

• “Your Pass To New Worlds!”, a public service page written by Jack Schiff and drawn by Sheldon Moldoff.

• An ad for “baseball coins”, collectable premiums available in packages of “Salada” brand tea bags and “Junket“ brand custard, drawn by cartoonist Eric Gurney.

• A black-and-white, inside-back-cover house-ad for DC Comics.