 |
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
so here are the upcoming rochester concert listings that I care about: 4/27/04 - Ska Is Dead Tour with Catch 22, Mustard Plug, Big D And The Kids Table and The Planet Smashers 4/29/04 - Less Than Jake, Early November, Grover Dill and The Reunion Show 5/01/04 - Guster and Matt Nathanson 5/01/04 - Sarah Harmer and Hayden 5/01/04 - Teitur and Mieka Pauly 5/14/04 - Something Corporate, The Rocket Summer and Woodbelly 5/16/04 - Dashboard Confessional, Thrice and The Get Up Kids (FOR THRICE AND THE GET UP KIDS, NOT DASHBOARD) 5/28/04 - P.O.D., Blindside, Hazen St. and Lacuna Coil 5/30/04 - The Format, Piebald, The Jealous Sound and Spitalfield 5/30/04 - Blink 182, The Used and Taking Back Sunday ok, first and foremost, I want to go see catch 22 and the planet smashers. that is an absolute must. so people who are interested, please let me know. gameboy, you better have off on the 27th man, you better. less than jake, I'd like to see but probably don't want to do two concerts in that close proximity to one another, especially when I have guster tickets thanks to the rocking karlie. just sucks that hayden is playing on the same day... and teitur too. wouldn't mind seeing that. but, I'm sorry guys. guster wins that round. hmm... something corporate, I'd go see. that'd really depend on if I find a bunch of people who are going and if I'll be a third wheel or not. I'm tempted by the thrice/the get up kids show but the dashboard confessional part really doesn't help. once again, depends on if I can find people to go with. hmm... can't see lacuna coil playing with POD or blindside but that's ok. val, you'd probably wanna go to that. stew? what do you say? now comes may 30th. grr. I'd love to see the format and piebald, but I have 2 free blink182 passes. and I would like to see blink182 at least once and taking back sunday, I'd enjoy too. I'll figure that one out and see if I'm going to go to blink182 or sell my tickets off. basically, each and every show I'd want to see really depends on if I can find a good people to go with. so if you're interested in any of the shows above, please do let me know as this is a kick ass few months to see some good shows and I'd like to at least go to a few. you know what to do. look who's laughing now
i'll pull it off somehow
as i passed her by i could see her cry and
i'll never forget the look that was in her eye
and the music you know it played on & and on & on
so won't somebody tap her on the shoulder tell her life goes on
Current Mood: excited
Current Music: Catch 22 - On & On & On
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
phew. so apparently, I had tonsillitis... what is tonsillitis you may ask? Tonsillitis (ton-sil-lie-tiss) is an inflammation of the tonsils caused by an infection. In tonsillitis, the tonsils are enlarged, red, and often coated (either partly or entirely) by a substance that is yellow, gray, or white. Tonsillitis usually occurs as part of a pharyngitis (throat infection). Tonsilitis usually begins with sudden sore throat and painful swallowing. not fun. on the weekend of march 26th, I was hit with some kind of viral infection. or so the doctors thing. I was tossing and turning all day with going in and out of different states of exhaustion, fever and muscle soreness. this went on until monday when I went to see a doctor. my doctor, as usual, assumed I was being a fucking hypochondriac. I can understand that you know, being 21 and being possibly the youngest patient in your entire practice considering you treat mostly senior citizens. but it doesn't mean I'm incapable of being sick or having some kind of health issue. blood was drawn and a strep rapid test was taken and both came back negative. I'm like, wtf. I was feeling better anyways, just was left with a sore throat. I was fine all week except the sore throat kept on getting worse and worse and worse. it came to the point where it hurt so much to swallow, that I had to get a little spit bucket. yes, a spit bucket. that's as far as I'll go into detail there. on friday the 2nd of april, I went to the doctor's again and guess what. another monospot blood drawing was taken and a full strep culture was performed. now more blood drawings annoyed me but it's understandable considering mono wouldn't necessarily show up for the first 1-2 weeks anyhow. again, both came back negative. I was just miserable and my symptoms only worsened over the weekend. more random fevers and the most horrible pain when attempting to swallow. I had to actually get myself out of the habit of swallowing at that point. I went to my doctor on monday and after he took a look at my throat, finally realized SOMETHING was wrong with me. he sends me to an ENT specialist/otolaryngologist. I meet the guy, he looks at my throat, pokes at my incredibly swollen lymph nodes and says you've got tonsillitis! almost in this whole AOL voice, you know, the one that says "You've got mail!" that urked me a bit but he gave me a mirror and shined a light down my throat. he then proceeded to point out my swollen tonsils and these giant patches of white on them. I was like, eww, get them out!! and he hands me a prescription of amoxycillin, 875g tablets, twice a day for 10 days. he said, if it's viral, it won't work and no harm done. if it's bacterial, it'll clear it up in under a week. he basically surmised that the three days of exhaustion/fever was a viral infection and it left my immune system rather week at that point so some bacteria decided to come in and kick me while I'm down. (see figure 1) thankfully at this point, my parents were dragging me around. I was getting a bit delirious from the fevers... blech. figure 1.  so I get the antibiotics and head to my parents place to just hang out for the next however long I'm going to need to be there. I spent the next 5 days in my old room and just laid there, when I wasn't on the computer doing shit for work. I couldn't even sleep for more than an hour or two at a time. or eat anything beyond applesauce. after the 4th day, I start noticing some difference. I thought it was the ibuprofen kicking in at first but I guess not. I took a mirror and a flashlight to check out my tonsils and the white patches were almost gone on my left tonsil and getting smaller on my right. I was like, sweet! I could go home, shower, SHAVE (dude, it was bad, imagine if I was on survivor for a week) get my hygiene back in order and eat normal food soon. friday night, I finally came back and took a long-ass shower. man that felt good. and I ATE FOOD! omg. that ruled. kinda sucked that I said I'd work my saturday hours but I was already going on just a few hours of webwork all week rather than my normal 40, not to mention I didn't go to school one damn bit. I dunno how that will play out for the rest of the semester but that's ok. so I'm back home after a two weeks of throat hell and now managing my money and trying to figure out how I can make up for last week. rock! hope all is well w/ you people. I'm fine now and will continue to update every so often. hey, shut up. it's better than before. who got the hooch, baby
who got the only sweetest thing in the world
who got the love, who got the fresh-e-freshy
who got the only sweetest thing in the world
let’s get real, let’s get heavy
till the water breaks the levee
let’s get loose, loose, who got the hooch
Current Mood:  relaxed
Current Music: Everything - Hooch
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
wow, I have to say I'm very pleased with hollywood right now. I have possibly had the best movie weekend in a long ass time. first came the remake of dawn of the dead which I had the luxury of seeing it with nora at regal culver ridge on opening night. movies are the best on opening night. absolutely the best. regal cuvler ridge isn't usually my theater of choice but it's the best theater the town of irondeqouit has to offer. my good old friend john was working there so shouts to him. so, dawn of the dead. stupid cheezy remake of the original dawn of the dead from what... 1974? (correction, 1978) I don't care really but all I know is that I had a bad-ass time. plus all the black people yelling and cheering at the screen made it so much better. especially when the propane tank scene... omg. so fucking cool. in conclusion, dawn of the dead was a really fun and enjoyable movie. minus the ending through the credits which just felt unnecessary and annoying but apparently, it's just a "horror" movie. fast foward to sunday night, where I just saw the eternal sunshine of the spotless mind with jess and stew at pittsford cinemas. minus the 15 minute interval where my stomach had a falling out with my ass, the movie was easily one of the best movies I have ever seen. what was weird was that apparently mike and chuck saw the movie in the showing before hours in the same theater. crazy. charlie kaufman is a bad-ass and I want his screenplay writing super powers all for myself. I guess what made the movie so great to me was not only could I enjoy the story, but I could relate to experiences that all the characters were going through in some way or another. even to how joel (jim carrey's character) reacted to clementine (kate winslet's character) breaking up with him. plus the movie had a character named stan. power to the stans! not to mention that clementine was clearly written for me.the thought of experiencing something and not remembering it is incredibly frightening for me. experiences define my existince and life, so lacking the ability to remember such an experience is just simply freaky. probably one reason why I've never been super mega drunk or tried any other drugs. I only know of two instances where I don't remember something but I know for a fact they happened and both had to do with people calling me when I was asleep. this morning? my parents called me at 11:20am but I only saw that when I was going through my call history to find another number a few hours later. the thing was, it was in incoming calls instead of the missed calls log. so I must've answered it. I called my dad immediately and asked him if he had called me earlier because honestly, I had no idea what he said or if we agreed to anything. thankfully I said something along the lines of that I'd call him back so... I was safe there. phew. it's just weird that I saw a movie where memory loss plays a pivotal role in the story when I just experienced it earlier today. you have to keep in mind that such memory loss, as inconsequential as a phone call is enough to freak me out. but after last night, I know a few people who have quite a hard time remembering anything at all. what did you think of the eternal sunshine of the spotless mind and dawn of the dead? this is a commercial for my army and my navy
this is a rehearsal for all the empty promises i will be
and i won't let you down
done letting you down
Current Mood:  tired
Current Music: Matthew Good - Pledge of Allegiance
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
it's great to know everyone out there celebrates saint patrick's day. even http://www.google.com/. those guys just seem really cool.  see?! man, that'd rule to work for google someday. hmm. *goes to email resume* that won't really get me anywhere but it's worth a shot, now isn't it? but in the spirit of today's holiday, I'm going to post a link to a little obnoxiously weird/crazy video clip from mark, stew and I hanging out on saint patty's day 3 years ago. man... this is when I was 18 and shaved... I <3 nostalgia. so click here to watch.have a safe and fun holiday saint patty's day yo. well i once loved a girl, a child im told
i gave her my heart and she gave my a cold
so now i sit standing here out in the pouring rain
i'll stumble back to kellys pub and cry away me pain
we'll drink, and drink, and drink, and drink, and drink, and drink and fight!
we'll drink, and drink, and drink, and drink, and drink, and drink and fight!
and if i see a pretty girl, ill sleep with her tonight!
we'll drink, and drink, and drink, and drink, and drink, and drink and fight!
Current Mood:  good
Current Music: Buck O' Nine - Irish Drinking Song
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
not a bad day at all. finally get to spend some time with a dear old friend, colleen. I don't get to see her very often as she goes to UB. we pulled our typical java's dealie, an old tradition for us for the last two years. as usual, I had my goya lime soda. hehe, I love that stuff. can't get sick of it ever. I also ran into my frined gina who works there, unfortunately I don't get to see her at school as much. and what made the night even better was the fact that they were playing "the postal service" cd during our duration there. now if you don't know who the postal service is, they're one of my more recent favorite additions to my music collection. you can check 'em out below. if you do know who they are, then... yeah! you're all set. haha, so I check the mail the other day and I finally got in this new t-shirt. kinda sucked waiting two weeks but shipping quickly from the ukraine is a bit pricey mind you.  if you haven't guessed, this t-shirt is in russian. and it says, "Я ЛЮБЛЮ ТЕБЯ". it means simply, "I love you". this is one of the few times you'll find a very straightforward english to russian translation. it's pronounced phonetically "yah lublu tebyah". pronounce the "u" in there as it is said when you say the letter u, not "uh". click here to listen to a short mp3 of what it's supposed to sound like.what makes this shirt really cool is how the first letter, you see is the "Я", which is the "yah" sound, which means "I". it starts with the "Я", then goes to the heart and then clockwise proceeds to spell out "ТЕБЯ" the literal translation of the word "you", and the last letter of the word "ТЕБЯ" ends up being the russian letter for "I" and you come back to the beginning. what do you think? i want to take you far from the cynics in this town
and kiss you on the mouth.
we'll cut our bodies free from the tethers of
this scene, start a brand new colony
Current Mood:  dorky
Current Music: The Postal Service - Brand New Colony
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
wooo. what's up folks? no, really, what's up? leave a comment letting me know. as for me, not much here, just got in from work. it's been... quite an interesting last week. I don't know really, I guess it's been chock full of those few moments that really define certain periods of your life that aren't weddings, graduations, proms or anything cheezy like that. maybe that's why I don't mind being 21 years old right now. I'll go into more detail some other time. there are some days where I feel that I'm wasting my days away with work and school, you know, not doing anything someone my age should do. but then again, most of those feelings are a result of a conscious decision. I mean, I'm working full time, I go to school full time, I live on my own and that's all as a result of my personal decisions and my lifestyle is completely set on the decisions. I mean, it's to the point where changing my lifestyle would result in or require drastic changes. if I break it down, my goals right now are to get a business admin or marketing degree. from somewhere, anywhere at this point. then proceed to get an MBA and set myself up in a nice job. a job where I wouldn't have to punch in keyboards in frustration and come home with blood on my sweater and wondering where it came from because I was so pissed off that I didn't even feel the pain at first. yeah, that'd be nice. one of my primary problems is that I get lost in dreams and hope. for example, a new opportunity will rise up and I'll get completely stuck in this... weird trance. it's hard for me to even explain because I go about my routines as I would on a day to day basis but I end up completely missing out on this such opportunity but still riding on the fact that it's there temporarily. then it completely disappears and then I'm all like "wtf yo?" and I get all pissed off at myself. does that make any sense? I guess it's better explained as me not being proactive about anything... a common theme in my life. I mean, I guess I get stuck in this little high I get from being hopeful. it's as if I naturally get myself in such a emotional position in order to siphon as much as I can from it till reality kicks my ass. strange, isn't it? having hope just to have the feel it rather than achieve something all together? man, I need to get out of that habit. if I want to do anything with my life. and now to take four really hot drunk girls to taco bell at midnight on a tuesday night... rock on y0. ps. download this song and let me know what you think of it. pack up
don't stray
oh say say say...
wait they don't love you like i love you
wait they don't love you like i love you
wait they don't love you like i love you
Current Mood:  accomplished
Current Music: Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Maps
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
yo. what's up? miss me? heh, don't worry. I still keep up on you all. no, really. I religiously check my friends page 5 times a day. that and I have to in order to be able to keep up with everyone. trust me, it ain't easy but someone's gotta do it. kinda sad too, I'm about to resubscribe to LJ and I don't even update so here is a concerned effort to update and get back into the swing of things. I don't know if it will work, in fact I'm pretty sure it won't. but it makes me feel better if I convince myself I'm trying. besides, I just might update semi-regularly. stranger things have happened, right? hmm. everyone always says stranger things have happened, but I can't think of super strange things that have happened to me. maybe if I spent some effort on it, I could think of something. or maybe I'm just used to being strange myself that nothing really seems out of place anymore. who knows. that's something to think about on lazier days. right now, I'm working on a card for a wedding I've been invited to tomorrow. hopefully I can come up with something decent to write down. I don't know, I feel like I should find something original to say. something to leave an impact and to stand out from everyone else. why? this isn't some competition and I'm not trying to come up with the best card, the best gift or the best anything. in fact, all it took was half an hour of my day today from start to finish on this gift. all that's left is writing something in the card. I mean, there are a number of reasons why I want to put the effort into this. this is the couple's wedding, the most important day in their lives. I want to help in any way possible to make it their greatest day in their lives without overstepping my boundaries. the thing is, I'm not close with the couple by any means... but I think they are some of the coolest people I have ever met and possibly ever will meet. I want to somehow return the favor of all the fun times I've had hanging out with these two on random saturday nights over the last two years. and hopefully I'll be able to do just that. eh, maybe I'm putting too much effort into this and I should say something simple. besides, some of the greatest things ever said were no longer than a sentance. thank god for punctuation. updates to follow. PS. my new bed fucking rocks. to show you just how good
being touched could be
commit these words to memory
for when you find yourself
pinned under his demands
i am still an option that you have
so carry me around
like a picture in your purse
pull me out when things are at their worst
you can show up at my house
completely unannounced
we'll have that movie kiss we talked about
Current Mood:  calm
Current Music: Her Space Holiday - Tech Romance
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
//begin rant reasons to be pissed off right now: - it's not a state of emergency yet. but it fucking should be. - I'm locked out of my car, while it's running. - AAA (Automotive Association of America) will be here at the office in "under an hour" to help me get into my car. - instead of giving me a raise at work, my school was supposed to be covered. instead, my boss now refuses to pay for my school so I owe MCC a lot of money and I can't even sign up for next semester. - I can't get school paid off for last semester and I'm short a raise now too. - I can't get another job. - I can't complain about my job either. - I don't want to take time off of school because I don't know if I can get myself to start up again. - not to mention "taking time off of school" makes me feel hopeless. - it's -1 Fº. - I'm out of food to eat at home. on a brighter note, the AAA guy should be here any minute. //end rant //addendum rant - I had fillings done this morning. //end rant rev. 2
Current Mood:  pissed off
Current Music: *the hum of office heating & air conditioning*
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
it's crazy, I'm reading my friends page here on LJ and I see a few distinct types of posts. first, we have the simple happy new years wish. plain, blunt and straight to the point. very much appreciated. second, we have the new years resolutions post. I love this stuff cuz I get to basically read everyone's hopes and dreams for the new year. I mean, it gives me hope to see other people hopeful and planning good things for 2004. and I'm glad that no one's planning or hopeful for shitty things either. nothing like: "my new years resolution is to go on a shooting spree and raze the city!" kind of a relief. now I just wonder what people actually follow through with in 2004. third, the bitter, angry and depressive new years posts. don't get me wrong, I'm not saying you people don't have just cause to feel that way. in fact, you people may have all the reason in the world. most of these angry and depressive posts just consisted of one or two lines, much like the new years wish posts. I like new years. a fucking lot. I think it's better than all these other holidays like your birthday, christmas, mother's day, etc. no need to be smiling and nodding over shitty gifts, no stressing over what to write in some stupid card, no desperate attempts for the perfect thing to say. you get booze, food, and loved ones. come on, that's a sweet deal right there. right? what makes new years so great for me is that I feel responsibility free. my shit to do and get somwhere in life list doesn't seem like a burdon anymore, but rather a challenge. err... maybe not so much of a challenge, but it seems... possible now. I hope that makes sense.for everyone who wrote a simple happy new years wish, thanks. you too. for everyone who wrote their new years resolutions... here's an idea, see how far along you are on your resolutions every 3 months. :P good luck on getting those resolutions accomplished. for everyone who wrote the bitter, angry and depressive posts, I hope you people have a better year than you're looking forward to. maybe a year that'll give you hope for the following year. eh, I'll chalk this up to one of my shitter LJ entries. but here's a punk cover of auld lang syne to make up for it. rock on yo. should all acquaintance be forgot,
and never brought to mind
should all acquaintance be forgot,
and the days of auld lang syne.
for auld lang syne, my dear,
for auld lang syne
we'll take a cup of kindness yet
for the sake of auld lang syne
Current Mood: calm
Current Music: Die Toten Hosen - Auld Lang Syne
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
evenin' everyone. how are ya? hope the holidays are going great for you people. how are mine you may ask? not bad really. well, lets see.
- my roommate stew is off in hawaii
- I have no functioning car right now
- went to go get the car because I left it at work and had to wait outside in freezing rain for the tow truck guy
- in order to fix it, I have to blow my holiday bonus on it
- I get time off for a holiday my family and I don't really celebrate but didn't get time off for the holiday I sort of do
- there's nothing to do
I don't even have the energy to tell people I don't really celebrate christmas anymore so I just say thanks when people tell me merry christmas. they mean well and it's just easier that way. the thing is, I'm ok with the situation right now. I mean, I've been through worse and I know people are in worse situations right now. I'll get my car soon, I'll work a little bit more to pay off bills, rent and car repair and I'll be spending new years with good company. maybe I'm just a little bit disheartened as I usually find something to be cheery about during the holidays. and it's raining, not even snowing. come on now, wtf. well, if there is anything good about the holidays, it's the excuse to buy lots of hot cocoa and listen to holiday songs. heh, I'm a sucker for holiday songs, no matter what holiday they're actually about. if you want to make this christmas eve a little bit better for me, please listen to the following song and lemme know what you think. you just might like it. merry christmas v2003 everyone. and i'm sitting, sitting on the top of the stairs,
and you're crying out on the towpath by the river
with all the swans and all the people walking by
and all of a sudden I'm stuck with an urge to unlock a door
with a key that's too big for my hands
and i drop it, and it falls at your feet
come on, come on, it's there at your feet
and i never, no i never ever realised
and i never, no i never ever realised
Current Mood: calm
Current Music: Everything But The Girl - 25th December
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
so around 5pm, I had to go to the bathroom. so I did... as what most people do if they feel the urge to. even though no one was home but me, I still close the door. I didn't lock it, but I just shut it. you know, it's a habit. a just in case kind of thing. after I wash my hands, I go to open the door and get out. uh-uh. not happening. the door was locked. I thought to myself, that's weird. I didn't lock it... so I try fidgeting with the lock for a bit. doesn't budge. try fidgeting some more. no go. after about 20 minutes of messing with the lock, I came to the conclusion that the lock was jammed. of course it was a possibility when the door first wouldn't open but after some hardcore fidgeting action, I couldn't open it by regular means. you know what sucks too? normally, I keep my cell phone in my pocket at all times. EXCEPT WHEN I LEAVE IT ON THE CHARGER. bah. so with stew out of the house and no self phone, I was kinda stuck in there. I examine the lock and try doing the whole credit card thing. that didn't work. I tried to pull out the hinges but they were rusted shut. grr. I try to unscrew the lock apart from the inside to see what I can do with it but that was useless. I was going to shoulder smash or kick the door down like they do in the movies but the lip of the door frame was on the other side so that would've been just a painful waste of time. that and I had no shoes on. I would've tried the window but my bathroom is on the second story and there was lots of painful looking bushes to break my fall. this is about 25 minutes in and I just down on the toilet and think, what are my other options? now keep in mind that I don't like to be trapped in bathrooms. not like it's some creepy phobia or anything, but I just was feeling a bit uncomfortable just being stuck there for the next six hours till stew would've gotten home. and even then, it might have been another hour or so till the two of us came up with some way to open the door. the last decent alternative would be to break through the wood and into the lock mechanism to just rip it out. the door was clearly old, twice my age at the least. shouldn't take too long. I'm like, "all right bitch. you're on." for the next hour, I spent hacking away at the wood around the lock. finally after 23 splinters and about 3 giant blisters later, me and my trusty pocket knife get to the lock and I pull it out. FREEDOM. booyah. stan - 1 door - 0 here are some links of post-battle coverage: so now you know why my away message for the last hour said "brb, cleaning up what's left of the bathroom door". :P now I go listen to cheezy poppy punk music. have a good night all. and i'll be
on my way i'm on my way to getting nowhere
follow me cause where i go i'll go forever
you can come too, if you want too,
i'll mess you up to if you dare
on my way i'm on my way to getting nowhere
Current Mood: accomplished
Current Music: Off By One - On My Way
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
weird-ass saturday. so thursday night, thanksgiving night (hope everyone had a good thanksgiving by the way), I needed a nap first before I was going to go out again with friends. this was around 11pm... instead, I wake up at 6am and I couldn't help but think... shit! but the first thing that came to mind was I gotta call people and tell them why I didn't make it 7 hours prior. but then, I realized it was also 6am. hell, I haven't gotten up at 6am and felt awake in over 5 years probably. so I toss and turn in some half-assed definition of sleep till about 8am and then *blink*, power goes out. yes, we had a bit of a little snow storm type thing. kinda sucked cuz the house got freezing REAL fast. I couldn't do anything really, no TV, no computer, and I couldn't even take a shower. so at around 8:45am, I got dressed, cleaned up and went off to wegmans to get some miscellaneous toiletries, snow brushes my car and cereal. naturally, I had to get some fruit loops and honey bunches of oats (honey-nut style) just to last me for a few months. then picked up some flouride rinse, mach3 razor blades and some floss. before I check out, I go the sub place in webgams to get an assorted sub to last me through work. it was pretty funny, I heard a bunch of the people behind the counter bitching how tired they were. I looked at my watch and realized that normally, if I woke up at this hour, I'd be bitching about the same exact thing. it's kind of a nice feeling to be up too damn early and not feel an ounce of exhaustion. anyhow, the girl making my sub was pretty cool. her name was chyanne or something like that, possible native american? I dunno, but she recognized some of my buttons so that was fun to talk about. got my sub, checked out the newspapers and some video game magazines to kill time. now it was like 9:30am and I figured, I'll get out of here. took me about 10 minutes to get to the casheri in the 10 items or under line and some girl named kaylee was the cashier. she was awfully nice and exuberant for that time of the morning. having a happy and nice cashier is always refreshing. now keep in mind, this is the pittsford wegmans, the largest supermarket EVER. and it was jam packed already. I pay up and walk out only to realize that I left my mach3 razor 8 pack under the sub and never paid for it. so I get back and line and explain that I left it under the sub and forgot to pay for it. the cashier girl gave me the most surprised look, which resembled something like "you could've just walked off with that, wtf?" I returned a surprised look back, cuz the last thing I'm gonna do is lift a fucking mach3 razor 8 pack. as it was snowing pretty hardcore, I decided to pickup a hot chocolate at wegman's coffee stand thing. after waiting through the line, I see they had white hot chocolate. *drool* I buy it and I swear, it was the best thing ever. I got my typical little bit of dizziness that I get from anything white chocolate but oh man. best $2.98 ever spent. I get to my car which already has about half an inch of snow on it and I test out my new brush thingie. it works and I'm quite satisfied with my purchase. I get on, go to work and figure I'll be there a bit early so I can get some more work done. the driving was bad but here's my logic for driving in weather. good weather - drive above the speed limit light snow or rain - drive the speed limit terrential downpour or snow storm - drive half of the speed limit works for me. might want to follow the speed limit a bit more in good weather though, just to be safe. I get to work, get most of my shit done, and get out. rather productive day I might add. afterwards, I went to old navy to pick up some new cargo pants cuz my old pairs were finally wearing out. good sale too. picked up a nice winter jacket along with the pants. hmm... a little person checked me out of old navy. she was nice, though I have no idea why I wrote about her. probably cuz she was one of those little people and seemed nice. props to little people! I then stopped by my parents place to pickup a shirt my mom helped sew backtogether and my catering paycheck. all... $37 of it, but hey, it's something. I don't remember what I did then... I think I just went home and was glad to have power back. stew and russell (stew's the roommate/best friend and russell is his brother) came back from his little vacation around then too and we were waiting for all our old high school buddies to come over. mark came by for a bit to watch survivor with us. holy shit, this is by far the most extreme survivor I've ever watched. it's just crazy the shit that's going down now. so lutao, sasha, and rohit come over. I saw rohit earlier this week with mark but lutao and sasha, I haven't seen since they left in august. russell's girlfriend emily stopped over too. sasha brings some girl named danner along, everyone else was friends with her back in high school. damn, this girl was a bitch to me back then. probably because her personality from what I've seen is based on sarcasm and making fun of people. don't get me wrong, I'm over it but was just not so cool with her presence in the place I'm supposed to call home. after a little bit, mark left because he's allergic to this house somehow and was tired. so hopefully he got some rest. I hung around downstairs for a little bit and tried to get into the conversations and jokes. I just couldn't find any way to have fun. everytime we all get together, it's the same shit over and over. sasha plays guitar, rohit makes obscene and horrible jokes, lutao tells crazy stories, and mark jumps around and makes weird noises. maybe I thought it was fun before, maybe I grew out of that shit. maybe this time, I have an alternative and I can just go to my room, close the door and turn up my music to drown out their noise. before whenever I hung out with this crowd, I was living at my parents place in pittsford/henrietta and it would've been rude and a pain in the ass to just leave for home if I wasn't having fun. I stayed with them more out of some skewed sense of loyalty and obligation. sure, I had fun sometimes because I didn't want to leave. I think now I'm just realizing I didn't have that much fun at all with them because I always left with a shitty self-esteem. they always knew I don't handle the perpetual bombardment of insults and jokes as well as they did and they still dished it out. granted, they don't do that anymore but that's probably because I distanced myself from them over the last year or so. so this time, I took advantage of the alternative and went up to my room to catch up on somework and then play a few rounds of counter-strike while listening to mindless repetitive techno music. thankfully, jess called and wanted to know if I would go out with her and colleen. after an akward request to ask people to move their cars so I can get out of the garage, I go to pickup the two of them. jess meets up with a friend of hers named paul, seemed like a cool guy. we head out to some bars and clubs around alexander st and east ave, nothing major. actually, I ran into jamie searl. a kid I used to go to high school with, cool guy. the last time I ran into him was sometime over the summer at java's I think. we were at this SHITTY horrible bar/club place called the jungle. man, I'm sorry but the first time I ever really went out, I was in vegas. I was all the VIP clubs and I was ritzing it up hardcore. I mean, sure, rochester has nothing really like that but this place was just god awful. except the music, they played some crazy 80's stuff. it was weird because I saw some other people I graduated with, don't think they recognized me but I'm pretty thankful for that. what was cool though was that I ran into nik there as he was a bit drunk. ok, a lot drunk. haha, dude, you were fucking crazy. I was gonna go say hi to mauvis but he was on the dance floor with some girl. blech, lost cohesion and interest in writing this thing anymore. man, I started this at 1:30pm and now it's 4:30pm. maybe I'll write later. but in the meantime, I go eat. oh, and try this song. you just might like it. so o walk right up to you and you walk all over me
and o ask you what you want and you tell me what you need
can you feel it all come down, can you feel it all around
at the place where lost is found, that great love sound
Current Mood:  complacent
Current Music: The Raveonettes - That Great Love Sound
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
looking back at nearly the last two years, I can pull up scores of reasons why I'm still single for that whole time. one primary reason, which I rarely admit to, is jealousy. I have a serious jealousy problem where I can't help but feel jealous when a particular girl, that I have a strong interest in spends time with other guys. especially when I know the only reason they spend time with said girl is because she's attractive. ironically enough, that's why I want to spend time with this girl. if I find out that this girl is spending time with other guys, I'll play it cool and deal with it, no matter how much of a problem it is for me. if you know me in person, then you know I have absolutely no fucking right to complain about such a thing. that's the thing, I can't stand dealing with jealousy. I don't need to explain why jealousy would be a bad thing because I'm sure each and every one of you know because you've experienced it before. maybe more so than me, maybe not. I just learned to distance myself from the cause of jealousy, in this common situation, the girl. and you know what? I'm probably the biggest fucking hypocrit for feeling this way too. I mean, what if I make the girl of my attractions jealous? not to sound like a braggart but what if there is another girl jealous of the original girl? I always feel jealousy is a one way thing as I'm the one who has to feel it. when you get jealous, it's as if you're the only one that matters. you come first in everything and anything. it's just this awful feeling that creates doubt, hate, poor self-esteem and a general feeling of crappiness. you feel like you're the only one in the world who is screwed with feeling jealousy all together. someone else jealous? heh, that seems like the biggest load of shit when I'm jealous about something/someone. and there is another problem, that jealousy is something beyond your control. what do you do short of biting your lower lip and pretending everything is ok? the only logical thing to do there would be to avoid the problem that instigates the jealousy. the right thing to do, probably would be to trudge through it till it'll go away. I began writing this rant with the intention to get this off my chest and the hope that putting my thoughts out on here would do me some good. I was dead wrong. instead, I'm left with a feeling that closely resembles shame for even being jealous to begin with. I guess that's the moral of the story. nothing good comes from jealousy, no matter what. all the cracks they lead
right to me, and
all the cracks will crawl
right through me
and i fell apart
Current Mood: tired
Current Music: A.F.I. - The Leaving Song
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
so, what is there to do in Los Angeles, California? I have no idea, I'm asking because I'll be flying there on thursday and coming back on the 12th in the evening. the reason I'm going is because this is my first real business trip. haha, my first business trip at 20. that's so damn cool. I'll be staying at the hyatt in valencia, a half hour away from LAX. let me repeat that word. HYATT. mmm... heh, sorry. I'll stop. I'm just excited because I'll be going on my own and such. aside from business, I'd like to know what else is there I can and should visit. I was there briefly in the summer of '99 and I don't remember a damn thing. I'm also asking to see if there are any of my LJ friends out in that direction who are within a reasonable driving distance. that and are there any words of advice? things I should be aware of? I'll have to borrow nik's camera again, thanks ahead of time. if anything interesting happens, something always does, I will document it here and post the pictures. now only if I had a laptop or something to take with me... but thankfully I'll have my pager watch and cell phone. I wouldn't feel right if I was seperated with either. now, I go sleep as I have economics at 9:30am. good night. oh, btw. this is a really good song I think. I owe this one to my dear friend erin who suggested that this be played on WBER's indie show one night. since then, I've been rather liking it a great deal. download it. :P you know me.
or you think you do, you just don’t seem to see.
i’ve been waiting all this time to be
something i can’t define.
so let’s cause a scene.
Current Mood: hopeful
Current Music: The Format - The First Single
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Previous 
exhausted
frustrated
melancholy
9 (17.0%)
amused
![[info]](http://library.vu.edu.pk/cgi-bin/nph-proxy.cgi/000100A/http/web.archive.org/web/20040610080116im_/http:/=2fstat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
embarrassed
