Wednesday Poolfest...

..once again... Wednesday is upon us... tonight's ordeal promises to be an International Incident... 1 Columbian... 1 Uruguayan... 1 Scot... and a couple of Hillbillies... mix in a liberal dose of alcohol, music, and pool-shooting... then just sit back and watch... as usual, I will give you the after-action report tomorrow....

..actually, I will be going to Middle Tennessee for work early tomorrow, and I might not make it back in time to post... so, you may not get a chance to hear the tales till Friday.... either way, I'm sure you'll be on the edge of your seat in anticipation...

El Cajon?..

... an 88 year old man... diagnosed with a brain tumor... does this..... wow... I suppose that's one way to do it... but, what takes more Cajones?... to stay and fight the illness... or jump?....

"Joseph Harold Frost took off his safety belt at 300 to 400 feet, stood up in the open cockpit of the two-seat biplane and went over the side Monday.

"I think that was Dad's idea, to go out in a flash of glory," said Robert Frost, who had helped his father arrange the chartered flight on a biplane similar to the ones the elder Frost flew in World War II."

Atlanta 2002...

...a Storm rolled in last night... but, it didn't last very long.... a lot of Thunder... but, not much of a lightshow.... so, instead of blogging, the Wife and I embraced the Storm together on the couch... we watched a DVD of the Rolling Stones doing their 40 Licks concert in London... I cooked up some Spaghetti in between songs.... no pasta, though... just garlic bread for dipping.... and the Storm boomed through "Sympathy for the Devil" as we sat practicing a few of our Seven Deadly Sins.....

..last night we reminisced about seeing the Stones in Atlanta in 2002.... it was an incredible night... we met up with the Gang at the Swissotel.... checked out our suite... had an early dinner at The Palm.... one of the guys had brought a bottle of high-dollar Tequila.... which was passed around the table.... Limo service to Turner Field.... watched the concert of a lifetime... sang "Honky Tonk Women" until I lost my voice.... bought the tee-shirt.... barhopping by Limo afterwards.... back to the Hotel... drinks in rooms... back to our room... and we argued... after all of the fun, excitement, and happiness... we argued... I don't even remember what we argued about... but, we did....

..last night, we didn't argue... we just sat back and watched Jagger twitch his twitch... the Wife would say... "remember when they played that song? It was incredible!".... and I would agree.... indeed, the concert was a blast... but, it is strange what we remember... I didn't mention to her that I remembered us arguing at the end of that fabulous day... .maybe she remembered it too... but, like me, didn't want to bring it up....

...maybe our memories change and morph over time.... we forget the bad things, and only remember the good... I just don't know... but, I do hope that it never happens to me... I want to remember the good with the bad.... I think it is more real that way....

The Storm..

....the storm is coming here... no blogging.... gotta get offline for a while.... see you all in the morning....

Joke of the Day...

Once upon a time there was a female brain cell which, by mistake, happened to end up in a man's head. She looked around nervously, but it was all empty and quiet.

"Hello?" she cried, but no answer. "Is there anyone here?" she cried a louder, but still no answer.

Now the female brain cell started to feel alone and scared and yelled at the top of her voice

"HELLO, IS THERE ANYONE HERE?" Then she heard a very faint voice from far, far away ...

"We're down here ."

A Working Stiff...

...hmmm... things to do in London when you're Dead.... always wanted to be on the stage?... but, had no talent?... well, never fear! ... now is your chance to be on the London stage! ...requirements? talents?... nahh... just show up dead, and you're a shoe-in...

"LONDON (Reuters) - Two performance artists are searching for a corpse for their newest production -- and have put the word out at hospices in hope of a volunteer.

The group, called 1157performancegroup, said it was trying to demystify the issues surrounding death with its new London production, "Dead...You Will Be"

Joke of the Day..

...fresh from the morning e-mail... this little jewel...

While trying to escape Iraq, Saddam found a bottle in a cave and picked it up. Suddenly, a female genie rose from the bottle and with a smile said "Master, may I grant you one wish?"

The next morning he woke up in bed with Lorena Bobbitt, Tonya Harding & Hillary Clinton. His penis was gone, his knee was broken, and he had no health insurance............God is good

Romanian Hummers..

...gotta love those Romanians... they do seem to demand quality... after all, if you pay for it, the last thing you expect is dawdling service...

"A Romanian man lodged an official complaint with consumer protection officials after accusing a prostitute of "not doing her best"."

Greek Food...

...well, the experimental dinner menu worked pretty well... last night, beef/mushroom/onion kebabs were grilled at Straight White House.... they were a real treat... a lot better than I had expected.... also, a Greek Pasta Salad with Feta Cheese was consumed... along with two excellent bottles of a 1997 Rioja...

...it was interesting because I always cook the same things... Chili... or Spaghetti.... and, anything that needs worked over on the grill... but, normally, that's it... so, this little leap into the unknown was a lot of fun... I think I will start doing it more often..

...anyway, Sunday is always a pretty good day here at Straight White House... morning coffee was devoured while reading blogs... the second pot of the morning was enjoyed while sitting on the deck starkers... one of the nice benefits of living in the countryside is that you can enjoy a spring morning as nature intended... hell, it was 74 degrees by 9:30 this morning... the Wife was up by 10:30, and I prepared a meal of biscuits, butter, cheese, and raspberry jam... we ate it all on the deck...

...the Wife started reading a book, and I got my old guitar out... we spent the rest of the morning getting sun burnt on the deck.. as an aside, I saw a woodpecker that was incredible... that thing was the size of a chicken, I swear... the biggest damn Woodpecker I've ever seen... it landed on one of the Poplar trees, and when it started pecking, it sounded like a Browning 1919 going off... I don't know what kind of Woodpecker it was, but it was friggin HUGE...

...about noon, we decided to get cleaned up and head into town for lunch... my Mother had called last night and invited us to meet some of her friends from California... so, we drove into town and met up with them around 1:30... the Church-going crowd was out in force, and it was nice to see all the Old Men in Suits... and Ladies in Sunday Dresses.. just out for their Sunday ritual-after-church-lunch...

...the Californians were an interesting bunch.. a Mother, Father, and three buxom lasses... talking a hundred miles an hour.. acting as if I was an old friend... instead of someone that they'd just met for the first time... they, like my morning sunburn, were a very refreshing experience....

...Spring is here, people... just as tomorrow is another workday, soon Summer will be here... so, get out there and start enjoying it... in a few weeks, it'll be too damn hot to sit outside.... right now, it is perfect... carpe diem, and all that stuff.. just get your ass outside....

Red in Greenland..

...I'm a big fan of Art... music, writing, painting, poetry... all of it... the idea that some people have the ability to do these things is amazing.. expressing yourself with words... paint... or a musical instrument... I can't get enough of it... I understand as well that being surreal and avante-garde is what drives some artists... but this?... I'm afraid that it... as a work of art... is a bit over my head... I just don't get it.... then again, I've never blended goldfish either....

"COPENHAGEN, Denmark (AP) -- An artist with 780 gallons of red dye, three fire hoses and a 20-member crew at his disposal went to Greenland in search of a blank canvas large enough to accommodate his creative impulse.

The result is a blood-red iceberg now sitting off the country's western coast."

...best line of the article?... it's a tie between these two...

"The fjord is filled with hundreds of icebergs -- previously all of them white."

...and

"He invited guests to turn the devices on and someone did, grinding up a pair of goldfish."

Toon-licious...

...this is totally wrong... and, anyone who has ever lusted after Jessica Rabbit can attest to it... Marge?.... gimme a break... I can think of a whole host of toonbabes who are better.... Ariel... Belle... they were BOTH hotter than Marge.. anyway, it really doesn't matter.. but, whoever chose that mag cover needs professional help....

"Marge strikes a provocative pose in a see through, low-cut dress while scrubbing the floor.

Maxim editor-in-chief, Keith Blanchard said: "She's the sexiest mama in all of toon town, especially that sexy voice - arrghh!""

...please... someone... lock up Mr. Blanchard immediately... he's liable to hurt someone.... although... that "scrubbing the floor" pose... it DOES sound pretty hot...

Mary of the Sea...

...Spanish Sailors... wow... Mary of the Sea... wow... Maria del Mar... ok....

Remembering...

...ten years ago today, I found myself standing in front of 250 people.... while wearing a kilt... a skinny 21 year old with a shaved head... scared out of his mind..... standing in front of total strangers, cat-calling Sailors, and belly-laughing Marines... all waiting on me... standing there in my skirt... to deliver a speech... it was quite a day, boys and girls.... quite a day.... and, sitting here now... a few memories of that day are starting to ooze to the surface.....

...I remember that my Best Man gave a terrific speech... without notes.... without stuttering... AND while totally sober... a real kickass job of public speaking...

...he and my family had flown over from Tennessee three days before the event, and my soon-to-be-Bride and I had given them all the tour of the area... I remember watching my family be shocked for the first time by the everyday happenings in Scotland... Dad's first taste of McEwan's Export.... Mom's laughter at the traffic jam caused by a flock of sheep in the road.... Mike, Calvin, and Joshua's utter contempt for being forced to wear a skirt (kilt), and purse (sporran).... heh... at least they enjoyed having a dagger (sghean dubh) hidden in their knee socks.... traditional Scottish dress... Tennesseans always get happier when they are carrying concealed...

...I remember being banned from ever wearing a kilt again at the end of the reception.... actually... come to think of it, that is the first "Command" ever given to me by new Wife.... "You are NEVER allowed to wear a kilt EVER again.".... I remember it distinctly... I brought it on myself, I suppose... after about 6 pints of McEwan's, I'd had enough of the ole line... "What is worn under the kilt"... so, by the end of the night, when someone would ask, I would lift the kilt in their direction, and say... "Nope.. everything is in perfect working order...see?".... and, just like that, I was banned from wearing the kilt... ahhh... the things drunk Marines will do....

...I remember the little scream of terror that my new bride released at the end of the Cordon... heh.... you ever seen a real Marine Corps Cordon in action?.... it's a sight to behold.... arm in arm, we approached the front door of the church... I heard the Lieutenant give the command... "Arch!.. Swords!!"... we took a step into the threshold of the door, and the first two Marines lowered their swords.. blocking our path..... the Lieutenant then said the immortal words.... "Announcing in public for the first time, Mr. and Mrs. Straight White Guy".... the two Marines whispered to me... "KISS HER!".... so, I did.... they raised their swords.... we stepped forward, and two more came down to block our path... "KISS HER" came the whisper again.... this happened all the way along the Cordon of Dress Blues.... until we got to the end... heh.... Sgt. Holland had vied for this position....the last man... the left side.... and, as we started to walk away, he quickly lowered his sword behind us, and bellowed, "WELCOME TO THE MARINE CORPS, MA'AM!!", and whacked her ass with his NCO Sword... heh... she screamed like she'd been shot... the crowd that had gathered on the street to watch were laughing and clapping.... ahhhh... what a day....

...I remember lots of things about that day... a day which changed my life forever.. and, continues to do so every day that I breathe...

...so, tonight I will be celebrating my 10th Anniversary with my darling Wife... how she's put up with me this long ... remains a mysterious miracle to me... so, I will make dinner.... we'll open some champagne.... and we will enjoy this evening with each other.... Happy Anniversary, My Wife... you are incredible...

Smokers Up!

... further to the old addage "eat healthy - die anyway".... we now have some lovely scientists who are telling us... wait for it... "stop smoking - die anyway".... heh.. Nicotine has it's benefits, it seems... you may die of lung cancer, but at least you won't get Alzheimers... see? ...life is all about balances...