Pathetic Earthlings

Cigar Blogging

Looks like, at long last, we have a cigar blogger. Check out Quibbles-n-bits for a fine spread of cigar tasting notes.

I can't believe I'm losing to this guy

I'm glad Gen Wesley Clark is proposing time travel as a national objective.

This was discussed in the 1988 Bush-Dukakis debate, of course:

Sam Donaldson: Do you really think SDI, or Star Wars, will work? Do you really think it's possible to create a shield that would prevent any or all nuclear missles from striking the United States?

George Bush: I'm glad you asked me that, Sam.. because tonight I can reveal something that's just been declassified. The key to SDI, to the whole concept, is a Time Machine. It's a beautiful idea. Let's say the Soviets launch a surprise attack, and a few of their missiles do get through our floating network of particle beam lasers. Then we use the Time Machine. We go back in time, before the surprise attack. It's defensive, it's clean, and it'll save our kids in the event of a Russian first strike. Now, who could be against that?

Diane Sawyer: Governor Dukakis?

Michael Dukakis: Well, if such a Time Machine were possible, I'd like the vice-president to explain why we haven't been visited already by time travelers from the future. You can't tell me that responsible members of a future government of the United States wouldn't, with access to a Time Machine, come back to reverse some of the mistakes - cockamamie mistakes - made by this administration. Of course they would! This idea is ridiculous! Spending billions and billions on a Time Machine whose very existence defies logic is, in my mind, lunacy.

George Bush: Well, Mr. Massachusettes, Harvard Yard Braniac. You may prove to yourself that it's impossible, but I think I'm like most Americans who'd rather see a Time Machine with an American flag on the side, and not a hammer and sickle.

Art Torres Running Scared

Usually, when you don't like a poll result -- you wave around one of your own:

Art Torres, chairman of the California Democratic Party, blasted the polls results as "outrageous," saying there's little chance Republicans will make up half of voters on election day.

"It's the most irresponsible thing a pollster has ever done in the height of a campaign," Torres said. "If their intent was to depress Democrats, it may very well do that."

Rarely, if ever, do you get your Party Chairman to claim that releasing a particular poll is fundamanetally unfair.

Dick Trickle

Glenn seems to be endorsing trickle-down economics.

Bustamante in Full

KFBK 1530AM, the flag Sacramento Newstalk station, just reported that Bustamante faxed the station (and presumably all others) to note that he has no campaign events scheduled for tomorrow. A week out, and no campaign events? This strikes me as odd.

The polls predict a Davis-Bustamante wipeout, I'm curious if Bustamante will throw his weight fully behind the Keep Davis camp. Davis' advisors have said that they need a sea change to make the slightest bit of difference and maybe, just maybe, Bustamante going back, fullbore, on No on Recall, is all they can muster.

You are Number Six

With 8 days to go, I'm pleased to announce my own recall contest. You can pretty much be sure of who the top five vote-getters will be: Arnold, Camejo, Bustamante, Huffington and McClintock.

What I'd like you to do is guess who comes in sixth.

Mercury-Tipped Bullets Melt the Dome

I've got a size 8 dome, so this comes as good news.

Via Gweilo Diaries

US Government Spies on UK Distillery (And Whisky Review)

The United States government is keeping a close eye on the distilleries of Bruichladdich which, of course, might easily be coverted to producing weapons of mass destruction:

"We install webcams to show the world our whisky is distilled traditionally. The US government apparently lock on to the web images, which they think look dodgy, but we, in Islay, don?t know that yet.

"We get an e-mail from ?Ursula? informing us one of our webcams is faulty.

"We reply, thanking her and inquire who she is.

"She admits she?s a spy, monitoring sites that potentially produce WMD. What?s the expression? Only in America!

"It?s hilarious," he admitted. "Mind you, we?re a sinister- looking bunch, so I can see how we might be mistaken for al-Qaeda." ...

[T]he DTRA were quick to point out that they do not consider Bruichladdich to be a threat to world peace.

* * *

This whole situation is as perposterous as it sounds, but it gives me an excuse to focus on an Islay malt which doesn't get enough attention -- the Bruichladdlich. Unlike Ardbeg or Laphroiag or Lagavulin the heavy taste of peat doesn't hit you in the nose. It's there, but as part of a broader palate. So if you've been wanting to stick you toe in, but are weary of the deep end, this may be the Islay malt for you.

Lots of Islay malts have that heavy peat taste -- which I enjoy, but is often a distraction to new whisky drinkers -- and sometimes keeps folks away from Islay malts altogether. This is unnecessary. What's nice about the Bruichladdich is that, while its got a distinct peat flavor -- it's unquestionably an Islay -- that peat doesn't wash out the rest of the malt's nice floral notes. It makes for a tasty after dinner drink after a light meal of fish or pasta.

One thing that's a bit interesting about the Bruichladdich is that I find that the malt is very tasty, not overly dry, but it also seems to have a parallel taste of clean water that rides next to, but does not distract from, the taste of the malt. It's sort of the tasting analogy to the Tanatuva Throat Singers, which produce two distinct -- and seemingly mutually exclusive -- sounds from the same gasp of air. I noticed this in the Gordon & MacPhail bottling of 1959, 42-year old Mortlach, a couple of months ago, but I figured that was a fluke of an old bottling, but I think it's here as well.

Bruichladdich comes in a 10, 15 and 20 year old expression and all of them are quite delicious. Although the 20-year is considerably smoother than most singles, I think the ten year is considerably smoother than most singles, too. So you can still get a real treat -- and something a little different -- with the ten year. So lay down $38 or so for a sweet peaty bottle of goodness.

Bruichladdich's distributors have done a good job rebottling the malt and getting it into more and more restaurants and bars and it's probably the most common new addition to nicer bars everywhere. So, if you are at your local watering hole and want to try something with a little peat, look for a low cylinderical bottle with a powder blue label -- and ask for it by name: Bruichladdich!

* * *

N.B.: Of course, if the government's paranoia does play out, at least you'll know that that VX gas, causing you to writhe in pain unimaginable and barter your immortal soul for the one mercy of a quick death, was hand-made using age-old craftsmanship.

Bustamante, Stool Pidgeon

I don't see the Democrats complaining that Bustamante is obviously a tool of the portable toilet industry.

Apparently, anyone not willing to pay to speak with Bustamante was out of luck. The politician arrived in a private jet at Salinas Municipal Airport at 4 p.m., and within minutes of landing was whisked into a black sedan.

He arrived around 4:40 p.m. at the Alisal Road home of Jose L. Alcala, owner of Shorty's Portable Toilets. The chauffeured car was driven to the rear of a roped-off driveway, where Bustamante was escorted to the back door of the house and greeted by paid guests.

Putative Governor Bustamante claims tough love for California, but I bet the port-o-potty industry doesn't get hit with any new regulations, like making sure they add a few extra lemon-scented sanitation cakes when the temperature breaks 90.

We'll Just Have to Win

The Davis people think they're all but dead:

"Because then it becomes a referendum on Arnold, too, with voters having to decide if this guy is really up to the job," the consultant said. That may explain why Davis is now calling for a one-on-one debate with the Terminator.

There is one point on which all camps seem to agree: The idea that the recall dynamics can be fundamentally turned around is out the window.

"We're going to have to pick up our votes piece by piece right up until the last day, and try to win by two or three points," the Davis consultant said. "I'd be lying if I said anything else."

The Hafnium Gap

The Pentagon has been conducting research into the explosive properties of hafnium-178 nuclear isomer. Some scientists think this is a good idea. Others don't.

"In my opinion, this matter is worse than cold fusion," said panel member Bill Herrmannsfeldt, referring to unconfirmed claims by scientists in the 1980s that they had generated nuclear fusion energy at low temperatures. Herrmannsfeldt, a physicist at the Stanford Linear Accelerator Center, is leading a revolt against hafnium-178 weapons work within HIPP itself.

Although Herrmannsfeldt regards claims for hafnium-178's super-energy powers as nonsense, he fears that other nations will take them seriously, triggering a new arms race. Recently, he successfully urged numerous top scientists to co-sign a letter to Washington officials citing experts' reservations about the scientific credibility of hafnium-178 claims and asking for a review of those claims by independent experts.

I'm hoping that the Democrats decry the fact that we're not developing hafnium weapons fast enough and that, if we don't, the ChiComs will get ahead. Because if the Democrats need an issue to get ahead of Bush on national security, what could be better than pumping up the dreaded Hafnium Gap?

The Bears Have Won! The Bears Have Won!

Cal 34, "No. 3" USC 31. 3OT.

A great new(ish) blog

Here's a guy who is blogging his on-going experiments in building a railgun.

This whole technical-hobbyist blog thing is pretty cool.

Of course, with something as dangerous as railgun, the lawyer in me would feel better if he'd slap on a legal disclaimer. Perhaps I can find one for him and donate it to the cause.

Co-Enabling

Here's another great post from Dan Weintraub*, explaining why McClintock can't win, won't win, and will make sure Gov. Bustamante gives us his brand of tough love.

* If someone hasn't claimed the title already, I hereby declare myself Dan Weintraub's hagiographer.

Forest for the Trees

City offers trees to the people, asks them to take care of them and -- when they don't do it right -- fines the bejesus out of them.

Fifteen years ago, Charlie Kreps of San Francisco did something he now regards as a big mistake: He took two trees distributed through a city-funded program and planted them outside his Outer Sunset District home.

The trees, a species called New Zealand Christmas, have kept Kreps busy sweeping up after their sticky blossoms, cutting back their fast-growing branches, and repairing the sidewalk when their roots tear up the concrete.

But Kreps was in for a shock earlier this month with the arrival of a letter from the city notifying him that he faces a $560 fine -- and the possibility of a lien being attached to his property if he doesn't pay up -- for having gone too far with his pruning . . .

[Carolyn] Blair, who has been active in the city's pro-tree movement since a buzz saw was taken to the trees in front of her apartment on the outskirts of North Beach eight years ago, says her goal is to help save the city's mature tree population. Trees with full canopies are not only nice to look at, but they help clean the air, provide a home for wildlife, block wind and noise, and add to property value.

Kreps understands the benefits, and that's why he planted trees outside his house in the first place.

"I like trees," he says. "But now I'm having second thoughts."

No kidding.

You know, much as I don't like cradle-to-grave, nerf padded social programs, it's little tin-hat, grassroots tyranny like this that really makes me keep my revolver close at hnad.

Bear Flag Expands

The Bear Flag League expands again with several new participants:

Blogosferics, Boi From Troy, Interociter, The Irish Lass (Sacramento), Miller's Time (Sacramento), Patterico's Pontifications , Right on the Left Beach

Boi From Troy fills a new demographic for the Bear Flag League -- he's a self-described Gay Republican USC fan. This would shock my Catholic Democrat mother.

How could any otherwise sensible young man root for the freaking Trojans?

Check 'em out.

Australian Unilateralism!

Australian unilateralism in the Solomon Islands succeeds.

Australia ended its hands-off policy towards its South Pacific backyard in July when it led a 2,225-strong multinational force of police and troops into the former British protectorate 1,800 km (1,100 miles) to its northeast.

Years of fighting by ethnic militia over land had left the Solomons a lawless, near bankrupt state with hundreds of its 450,000 people killed in the conflict.

N.B.: I'm aware it was 'multinational' but it wouldn't have happened but for the Liberal Government in Canberra -- but if UK-AUS-US-POL-BUL-UKR..... efforts in Iraq aren't multilateral, neither is this.

Hat tip: Dogs of Flanders.

Blaine, Blaine, He Comes From Maine

I don't much care for illusionists, but this David Blaine saga has gotten just silly. Is there any doubt that the on-going vandalism -- lemons, oranges, laser pointers, whatever -- is the necessary distraction he needs to smuggle food into his plastic box? The stuff depends on a distraction and if the press -- as much as the viewing public -- is distracted by the angry masses, it sort of makes his illusion a tad easier to carry out.

I know this is not an earth-shattering revelation, but the press is taking these vandals and rabble-rousers at absolute face value.

Weintrab Debate Format

I don't know whether it was the considerable talent of last night's debate moderator or the Weintraub Format of the debate -- with questions known ahead of time -- but I thought the debate format was a solid one and should be repeated:

First, I think this format works in favor of specifics and in favor of people who can answer specifically. I listened on the radio and McClintock sounded like a giant compared to the others.

Second, by knowing that a given subject had already been asked -- or was coming down the line -- the debate moderator had considerably more leverage to restrict non sequiters. This might have been from the solid performance of the debate moderator himself -- but this format keeps some tools in the hands of the sponsor.

Third, by asking the questions ahead of time, candidates need to do at least a little research on a point: the state-local relation question, while deadly dull as a policy question, is the kind that -- if asked randomly -- would put each candidate back onto the core message: Leadership. Spending Lobby. Small, deadly automobiles. Ecotopia. Tax You Bastards Back to the Stone Age. Here, everyone needed to say something at least sort of on point, and that adds to accountability down the road.

Carnival of the Vanities #53

Welcome to the 53rd Edition of Carnival of the Vanities and, for those of you joining Pathetic Earthlings for the first time, a double welcome! If you want to check out some of my whisky blogging, take a look here, here or here. Otherwise, poke around my archives.

I hope you'll stop on by again. Next week's Carnival is hosted by Dodgeblogium.

JohnTabin.com :: Fun With LexisNexis

Wesley Clark isn't the first general to lead in the polls before anyone knows much about his views.

Rand Simberg :: Simberg on Clark

Rand Simberg finds some (dubious) supporting evidence for General Clark's
contention on Meet The Press that "the progressive income tax is one of the
founding principles of our nation."

Opinions You Should Have :: Clark "Green Army Men" To Tangle With Dean's "Birkenstock Brigade"; Sharks And Jets Pushed Off Home Turf

A humorous take on impending skirmish between pro-Clark and pro-Dean bloggers and supporters.

ResurrectionSong :: Wesley Clark: Tax Policy

Post in a continuing series exploring Wesley Clark's stands on policy
issues (other posts include Gay Rights and an introduction to Clark).

The SmarterCop :: They call this Patriotism? Wes Clark goes mental

Wes Clark attempts to redefine patriotism using French standards.

Sarah Fitz-Claridge :: European Union: Liberty or Leviathan?

If you don't understand what people have against the EU, read this very witty and entertaining speech transcript by Sarah Fitz-Claridge. She explains that EU harmonisation is all about entrenching at the level of Europe the kind of tyranny which in the bad old days was only entrenched at the level of the nation state.

The Light of Reason :: Silvio Berlusconi: Fascism Returns to Italy

"Many people are now familiar with Berlusconi's airbrushed memories of
Mussolini -- but there is much more to note about Berlusconi's policies and
practices, including his dominance of Italian media and his unfortunate
habit of employing governmental intimidation on those who dare to disagree
with him."

Layman's Logic :: Smack her, she's French

"Perfectly mannered French children in bistros and tourist spots across the globe are a product of a domestic force de frappe unusually popular for a western nation. Perhaps their subsequent distaste for violent solutions has childhood origins?"

Wizbang :: Scene From A French Restaurant

"More proof of a great line by Rip Torn from the Larry Sanders Show, "As long as I can remember the French have been fucking us!""

Thief :: Not Very Nice Things to Say About France

"To the French, we Americans are a young power, desperately in need of the enlightenment of our betters. Especially when it comes to turning tail. France's problem with us, literally, is that we do not know when to run. At least, that's the point made by one Dominique Moisi, a senior advisor at France's Institute of International Relations, who says "Now That You Need Us, We have Something to Say."

Laughing Wolf offers two posts about the business of getting into space to stay.

Attboy finds a new target for the RIAA.

Sharp Blue :: The Economics of Interface Transportation

A detailed examination of the economic trap which is keeping us from
becoming a truly spacefaring species.

The Speculist :: Reality's Flashlight

"I've been doing a series on what I call Practical Time Travel. One of the keys to practical time travel is mapping out the mysterious abstract region I have named i Space, which contains everything that exists as well as everything that doesn't. You know how a map of Italy is shaped sort of like a boot? Well, it turns out that a map of all reality is shaped sort of like a flashlight. Who would have guessed?"

The Dax Files :: Tips for Meeting Bloggers

Everything you never wondered about while planning that Blogger get together.

Fragments from Floyd :: I Brake for Toads

It was a dark and stormy night. McGiver was soaking wet and SOL. And she wasn't swerving for nothin'.

Quibbles-n-Bits :: The places we went, the things we saw...

Quibbles and Bits, reporting live from Hurricane Isabel, complete with video!

Madeleine Kane's Notables :: That's What The Law's About (Song parody to be sung to the Hokey Pokey)

// You have to dot those i's / You've got to cross those t's / You have to seem so wise / You must justify those fees / And if you're smart and lucky / You will turn your case around / That's what the law's about //

Calblog :: More on the Bee

In the wake of the Sacramento Bee's decision to run its premier blogger Dan Weintraub through an editor, Calblog admits she self-edits and even self- censors.

Happy Furry Puppy Story Time :: Sports-Related Time Wasters

"Just a bunch of garbage I typed up while drunk at work, listening to sports talk radio."

DaGoddess :: Slap My Ass and Call Me Fanny

Madonna after 45... oh yeah, and a really bad joke.

The Laughing Wolf :: Today We Remember, and Recommit

"We need to remember 9-11, but we also need a day to remember all those who have died or been injured after. A day to recommit ourselves to this new war."

Andrew Ian Dodge offers his thoughts on 9/11

Dr. Frank :: In My World: Buck the Marine and the Jolly Rancher Bandits

Bad Money :: Waiting to Be Born

A fierce, proud, unapologetic defense of America, its actions, and its ideals.

Right We Are! :: Jackass Spotlight - Bruce Springsteen & Hero Spotlight - Kelsey Grammer

Lori at Right We Are keeps the blogosphere updated on who's Right and who's Not in celebrity-ville.

The People's Republic of Seabrook :: Another Dumbass Award Winner

Texas Republicans put a stop to a threat to an orderly society: License Plate Frames.

The Legal Reader :: U.S. Attorney General Mocks Concerned Citizens

"A regrettable drunken rant in which I actually proposed renaming Ashcroft as "Attorney General John Asshat. (Note: After too many beers, it starts to sound like a good idea. Try this yourself at home.)"

Dissecting Leftism :: Leftists and Monkeys

John Ray says Leftists are like monkeys, that most racists are not really
and that the faults Leftists see in others are really their own

Forgotten Fronts :: Granma Misinterprets the U.S. Constitution

'I had to do a fisking sooner or later, and what better place to start than a moronic article in Granma, the official newspaper of the Cuban Communist Party....'

Exultate Justi :: Potential Recall Targets For The Left

With the California recall enraging Leftists the nation-round, I've compiled a
decidedly non-authoritative list of some people (or things) that the Left might
consider targeting for recall efforts.

Feste...a foolsblog :: Where Is Klaatu When We Need Him?

"Davis admits he had lost touch with voters in remarks made before attending a hall meeting at Sacramento's Memorial Auditorium."

Priorities & Frivolities :: Suddenly, Bustamante's MEChA Strategy Takes on New Meaning

Beneath discussions of the Ninth Circuit, punch cards, and Bush v. Gore lurks El Movimiento Estudantil Chicano de Aztlan.

The Irish Lass :: Recallitis

If I was writing for a male audience, I'd say Arnold's performance on the show (Oprah) was a grand slam, a hole in one, a touchdown and a threepointer combined. But we're talking about the women's vote... It was a creme brulee/tiramasou/chocolate decadence with a glass of Villa Toscano Barbera.

Fresh Potatoes :: Free Dan Weintraub!

Mostly political weblog, proud member of the Bear Flag League, and home of the Free Weintraub Coalition

Resonance :: Stumping in the Sanctuary

President Clinton Governor Davis' campaign where it shouldn't have gone.

King of Fools :: Caucasian Club

A look at a California Teen's attempt to start a 'Caucasian Club' in her high school and the response of the NAACP, whose fight against racism seems pretty
racist at times.

Sneakeasy's Joint :: Tijuana Joe

"Those Illegals who are about to get Driver's Licenses, I salute you!"

Damn Foreigner :: Recall Backfiring

"Issa might say vote no on the recall, which confirms a theory I've been working on. Davis won't be recalled because the Republicans won't let it happen."

Slings and Arrows :: Added Apprehension

Tom McClintock has chosen his primary target -- and it is not Bustamante. He has proven himself willing to sacrifice the entire state on the Republican altar.

First up, some audioblogging from the Nebraska Guitar Militia with a song about farm subsidies.

Goobage :: So You Think Your Kids are Yours?

If schools are so necessary and so valuable, why do we need compulsory attendance laws?

Bound in a Nutshell :: Don't Push the Red Button

A funny tale of school bureaucracy terrifying a first year teacher.

Looking Back... Looking Forward :: Ok. Here's why.: Why do I stand in the face of hatred about same-sex relationships - and say, "Stop!"?

Taking Children Seriously (TCS) :: Creativity and Untidiness

Sarah Fitz-Claridge interviews the eminent quantum physicist, David Deutsch, on the relationship between his untidiness and his success as the pioneer of the field of quantum computation...This one's for any children whose parents tell them they'll never amount to anything if they don't clean up their
bedroom.

Brainstorming :: A Place Called Home - On Living and Dying

DC at Brainstorming shares the story of the unique wake for her Grandma

A Single Guy In The South :: A Ring of Fire

Adam that world famous single southern guy takes a moment to commemorate the passing of Johnny Cash by remembering his love for his late wife June Carter Cash. In doing so, he illustrates exactly what he is looking for in his epic quest to find "The One."

Jay Solo :: Question of the Week

Jay's question this week departs the usual esoteric topics for something more earthy for you to chime in on. Specifically, the key traits in a man or woman you consider necessary to establishing and retaining a romantic relationship.

Parkway Rest Stop :: Peanut Butter

A paean to peanut butter, a great American food, written by a lifelong Skippy junkie.

Wicked Thoughts :: Rural Socialists

Wicked Thoughts has been pretty scathing about rural socialists -- tax supported farmers

Master of None :: Disabled by Fat

For the vast majority of fat people, their "disability" is not primarily physical: it's mental. The fat that hinders their activity is merely a symptom of their lack of self-discipline. If your arm gets blown off by a terrorist, you're disabled. If you simply can't muster up the willpower to resist stuffing your face with creamy lard, you're just addicted to food. Also, comedians will make fun of you, because they're insensitive.

Signal + Noise :: Don't Eat Or Drink But Be Merry, For Tomorrow We Live

"There's a good way to save money, get thinner, and -- maybe -- live longer. But is it worth it?"

Angelweave :: "Oppressed" Again

"I'm a redhead = I'm oppressed. That's the gist of it, if you don't take it too seriously; but some people do. This post is about those people."

The 10b-5 Daily :: Everybody's Talking about Loss Causation!

"Just when you thought there could not possibly be another appellate loss causation pleading case this summer, along comes the Second Circuit to clarify its position on the issue."

PeakTalk :: Calibrating Risks and Rewards

Uninformed perceptions contribute to negative publicity around executive compnesation. Today's compesation structures have a specific function that in the long run benefits shareholders.

Judicious Asininity :: ANWR, Again

Velociman :: More Toilet Freaks

Wherein Velociman encounters his tax dollars at work in the public restrooms of America.

Tom's Nap Room :: Die Turnpike Die

The toll booths should be bulldozed, and the civil servant leaders at the
commission should be sent to hold signs at PennDot.

Setting The World To Rights :: Amanpour Insists the Sky is Green

In what way does Christiane Amanpour resemble a deep-sea oyster? Find out at Setting the World to Rights.

Solonor's Ink Well :: Where Does the Time Go?

It's time for the Third Annual Banned Books Project!

Caleb Walker ::on (sort of) writing

Generalized anxiety about becoming a world-famous writer.

SportsBlog :: Weekend NFL Notes

Hector Vex runs down some of the big stories from this weekends NFL games and offers assessments of some early season surprises.

Interested-Participant :: Rainbow Family

"Patterned after the 1969 Woodstock event in upstate New York, the yearly gatherings are comprised of ten to twenty thousand people meeting on public land for an extended weekend during the summer. It's a big party. And, as with Woodstock, the aftermath is a quagmire of trampled vegetation and trash."

Boots and Sabers :: Doyle Veto

"In this post, I analyze the machinations and ramifications of Jim Doyle's veto of concealed carry legislation in Wisconsin."

water -- andrés gentry :: Something to keep in mind

A look at the controversy surrounding the book The Bookseller of Kabul and some of the questions that arise when a person begins to ask hard questions about a country other than their own.

Ravenwood's Universe :: Officers use cameras to leer at pretty girls

And not least...

Blog-Iran :: United Blogs

"We wanted to inform you of a united grassroots blogging campaign that has begun in support of the Iranian people, freedom & democracy in the face of a barbaric Islamic regime dictatorship, executions and decades of terror. Please join with us and other bloggers at directory at and will also receive important breaking news and email updates most likely once a week or bi-weekly..."

N.B.: If you sent me an entry and it's not up here, please accept my apologies -- and send me an email by tomorrow afternoon and I'll try to get it added in... or just move it along to next week's Carnival and spread the wealth!

Free Hat! Weintraub!

The Sacramento Bee has decided to filter Dan Weintraub's blog through an editor. This is ludicrous. I sent the following letter to the Sacramento Bee's Ombudsman, who seems to be the point man for contact on this:

Dear Sacramento Bee:

I'm rather disappointed by your decision to force Dan Weintraub to push his Blog entries through an Editor. I've always enjoyed the Bee, and I've always enjoyed Weintraub, and Weintraub's California Insider blog is not only one of the best places for up-to-date Recall Coverage, but probably your single best on-line feature. Adding a layer of editing to seems a bad editorial decision. Adding a layer of editing under pressure from the Latino Caucus is shameful.

Blogging is a different medium which can -- if allowed -- greatly enhance your news coverage. As I understand it, Weintraub gets 20,000 hits or more a day, making him one of the top ten political bloggers in the country and has to be one of the best assets you have to draw new readers to the Bee. I've trusted Weintraub for years, as a reader; you've trusted him for years as a reporter. If you want to embrace the future of opinion journalism, you'll learn to trust him as a blogger, too.

I urge you to reconsider your decision.

Best,
/etc/

You can reach the Ombudsman at ombud@sacbee.com

Chickens, Roost. Roost, Chickens.

Baath Party members -- from filing clerks to party bosses -- are being shot dead in broad daylight.

But I had completely missed that Daoud Qais, Saddam's nighttime TV balladier, was shot dead in May.

The Last Train Home

Cue up the Pat Matheny, it's the Saga of the Passed-Out BART commuter:

On weekend nights, four trains arrive at Bay Point after the last train has departed. Typically, more than a half-dozen dozers are on board and thus stranded, according to a station agent -- and a Chronicle reporter who rode the late-night trains in recent weeks.

Nick, who said he was too embarrassed to give his last name, talked about his experience in exchange for a ride back to Orinda, where his car was parked.

Napping riders usually have three options: phone a good and understanding friend; hang out until morning (Saturday's first train comes at 6 a.m., while Sunday service begins at 8 a.m.); or hail late-night cabbies that BART employees call "vultures."

You Hate Yourselves Because You Love Me

Apparently, that Dodgers fan -- shot by a Giants fan last night at Chavez Ravine -- has died. This is a tragedy. When I first noted this, I figured he'd gotten nicked in the hams or something. My sympathy goes to his family, to his friends and, of course, to the family of the shooter who will suffer as well. Everyone involved has my sympathy, but...

Isn't it time for Dodgers fans to stop and ask themselves why Giants fans hate them so?

- Is it that these apostates arrive in the third inning, and leave in the sixth?

- Is it that Tommy Lasorda blows pitchers' arms like a White House intern?

- Is it that the Dodgers not only knocked us out of the 1993 playoffs on the last day of the season, when we were 103-59, but did it with such glee?

- Is it that Vin Scully still won't shut up about Kirk Gibson's Game 1 homerun in the 1988 World Series?

- Is it that, whatever else, they're the freaking Dodgers?

Tommy Lasorda, of all people, began this dialogue in 1999 at the last Giants home game at Candlestick Park when he told the assembled: "You don't hate me. You don't hate me. You hate yourselves because you love me."

Until the Dodgers begin to answer these questions and stop blaming the victim -- you know, the real victim, the Giants fan base - we will never put a stop to this cycle of violence.

The Bill Clinton Alternative

Dan Weintraub notes that Jerry Brown once offered Bill Clinton a job his chief of staff.

Let folks speculate about what might have been in California, but let me tell you this: Bill Clinton sure as hell would have never drunk a glass of malathion in front of a room full of reporters, not like the late, great B. T. Collins.

Breast Feeding as Political Imparative

I don't mind breast feeding in public parks, offices, commuter trains or, for that matter, restaurants where you can get out, with dinner and drinks, for $30 or less a head, but Tony the Teacher reports on one of my peeves, Breast Feeding as Direct Political Action.

Okay, this isn't a pleasant story

But Gweilo Diaries brings us this gem about a gang rape investigation:

Yasuo Fukuda, the -- I'm not making this up -- Minister of State for Gender Equality, said of the rape victims: "There are women who look like they are saying; 'Do it to me'," according to the weekly magazine Shukan Bunshun.

Take the Long Way Home

Now this is serious:

A rigorous regimen dictates that in each of the journey's first three years, the pilgrim must rise at midnight for 100 consecutive days to pray, run along an 18-mile trail around Mount Hiei -- stopping 250 times to pray along the way. He can carry only candles, a prayer book and a sack of vegetarian food.

Imagine doing that without pork.

Did he bleed Dodger blue?

Giants fan shoots Dodger fan. And not, apparently, because he left during the sixth inning.

His Own Little World

Roger Ebert, despite being a serious leftist who seems to write an occasionally shill review for a movie he knows damned well he shouldn't like, is one of my favorite movie reviewers. He takes science fiction on its own terms, appreciates an action movie, and apparently understand that people sometimes, just want to be entertained. But like all movie reviewers film critics, he thinks people are fundamentally flawed if they don't prefer films over movies.

And he's apparently quite obtuse when it comes to certain American distastes (like, say, the American aversion to leaving our enemies unmolested).

Yesterday, he reviewed Anything Else... a new comedy with Jason Biggs and Christina Ricci which struck me as, well, potentially interesting from the commercials... but alerts me to something I didn't know:

Here's a strange thing. The studio, DreamWorks, seems to be trying to conceal Woody Allen's presence in the movie. He is the writer and director, and has top billing in the credits, but he is never seen in the trailer, the commercials,or the TV review clips. The trailer gives full-screen credits to Jason Biggs and Christina Ricci, but only belatedly adds "From Woody Allen," not mentioning that he also stars. It's as if they have the treasure of a Woody Allen movie and they're trying to package it for the "American Pie" crowd.

Nothing strange there -- DreamWorks wants to sell tickets, not champion "film-making." I know in his rarified little left-of-center world, people think it's just fine that hasn't made an entertaining movie in 20 years and married his step-daughter, but the great unwashed masses of movie-goers know what they're willing to spend a few dollars on, and it's not Woody Allen.

I'll wait for the video. Or HBO. Or, in a couple of years, forget this movie was ever made.

Wheat Paste the Revolution

Starting September 28, the Berkeley Art Center, will host an exhibit of Berkeley and Cuban political posters.

Survival Tip

If you have fancy-pants cordless phones around the house, go buy a $9 phone at Radio Shack and keep it in with your batteries and emergency ratios. Because if the power goes out, the phone lines are probably still up. This level of unprepardness is just silly.

Go Taikonauts!

China plans a launch of its first manned spacecraft the second week of October.

There's no pleasing some people

Government grown medical marijuana is skanky.

Do you know what a turtle is?

A fellow more clever than I has conducted a Vought-Kampff test on the San Francisco mayoral candidates.

The only reliable method that we know of for sniffing out replicants is the Voight-Kampff Test, created by Phillip K. Dick in his book, Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep and later used by Harrison Ford?s character, Deckard, in the film Blade Runner. The test uses a series of questions to evoke an emotional response which androids are incapable of having. By the candidates? responses to this line of questioning, we feel we can say with some certainty whether or not they?re replicants. However, we?re stopping short of recommending that you vote for them or not. After all, though a replicant mayor may be more likely to gouge a supervisor?s eyes out with their thumbs, they have another quality that could be great in an elected official: a four year life span.

What's cooler still is that I noticed this via Tom Ammiano's website.

Someday, I'll blog this in real time

But Mrs Earthling and I are heading up to the French Laundry for lunch -- a meal that, typically (okay, I've been there twice and most recently in 1999) involves about 15 course, each about four bites in size. But today we've reservations for the table which is itself in the kitchen -- and I'm putting the over/under on number of courses at 22.

Report to follow.

Popemobile

A friend of mine notes with approval that "popemobile" is now a generic word.

If you borrow something, put it back

Especially if that something keeps a multi-million dollar satellite from falling over.

Via Memepool

Going Down, Down, Down

Johnny Cash died this morning in Nasvhille from complications from diabetes. This did not surprise me. When his wife, June Carter Cash, died earlier this year, you simply knew he was not long for this world:

At my door the leaves are falling
A cold wild wind has come
Sweethearts walk by together
And I still miss someone

I go out on a party
And look for a little fun
But I find a darkened corner
because I still miss someone

Oh, no I never got over those blues eyes
I see them every where
I miss those arms that held me
When all the love was there

I wonder if she's sorry
For leavin' what we'd begun
There's someone for me somewhere
And I still miss someone

His health had been poor for years, but I was lucky enough to see Johnny Cash at the 1997 Mid-South Fair and Rodeo in Memphis -- it was among his last shows.

Dirty Flicks

Dirty flicks making it big in Iraq:

"We feel bitter and disgusted to show such pictures because this cinema has always shown good films. But if we don't, there is no money to pay our wages and rent," said Isaam Abdul Kareem, who has taken tickets for 20 years at Baghdad's prestigious Semiramis cinema.

"Just 50 people a day come in for good films. Hundreds come for the 'romantic' ones. We must go with the market."

Are we winning? Well, the San Fernando Valley film industry certainly is.

Flashbulb Memory

I realized that there was still a few more hours of work to do on a power plant transaction I was working on. So I stuck around until about 1 a.m., sent for a cab, and headed home. I was a little annoyed that I missed the first night of my second session of fencing classes in Concord -- and annoyed, even more, at my rather lame job -- the belief, always present among the partners, that if the client just grouses enough at the partners, and they at the associates, a deal can somehow magically fucking close in two days by fiat. Deus ex machina.

I'm sure I resolved to quit -- or get my ass fired -- for the hundredth time that month. I was newly married and, frankly, wanted to goof off with my wife, not read Depositary Agreements at freaking 12:22 a.m.

It was a nice enough night, on the way home. The Luxor Cab (Cab Number 1060), remember my driver was a white fellow, with a heavy beard, a seat nearly broken from quite a few miles (214,300) of service on cab (a Crown Victoria). Paid him in cab vouchers ($84, and tipped him out to $100). Came in the house pretty late (1:43 a.m.), poured myself a glass of scotch (Aberlour 10 year, I had about 1/3 of a bottle left), finally wandered into bed a bit later (2:40 a.m.) but had a hard time getting to sleep and finally dozed off maybe around 3 (the clock registered 3:03 am, last I looked).

I remember everything about September 10th.

Strange.

Never Frighten a little man

"Never frighten a little man. He'll kill you." -- the Notebooks of Lazarus Long

Staking Your Claim

San Francisco resident Lin Shi Ying was nearly hit with a meteorite early Tuesday morning (it may have been a red-hot brake-shoe, but stay with me).

"Boom!" recalled the 42-year-old hospital cook. "It was very, very loud, and it sounded like, you know, a bomb."

A foot-long piece of black metal, an inch thick, "burning hot" and shaped "like half of a wheel," had crashed through the roof of his three-bedroom home,

Ying said. The object bounced off the carpeted living room floor to a wall before coming to rest on the hearth. It baffled everyone but hurt no one.

But he then made, in my estimation, a terrible mistake:

Ying called 911, and the police took away "the thing," as almost everyone seemed to call it.

People of Earth, Attention: In the unlikely case that it really is a piece of satellite or, better still, a meteorite, it has a rather large dollar value attached to it and, surprise, surprise, governments have a tendency to claim these objects for themselves -- whether it is NASA asserting ownership over debris or, as was the case in 1998, a city which wanted to claim ownership in a meteorite which landed in the middle of a kids' basketball game in Texas.

Eventually, the kids in Texas got their meteor back and, I suppose, if this is a decent bit of space junk (and not a red-hot brake shoe from Interstate 280) Mr Ying will, too, but if the authorities want to spirit away your putatitve object-from-another-world, insist on a receipt.

Edward Teller, 95.

Edward Teller, father of the H-Bomb (the "super"), is dead, aged 95. And while the bomb is a double edged sword, providing great security at a terrible risk, I remain convinced it is -- on the whole -- a good thing.

Dr. Luis Alvarez -- another man instrumental to the development of nuclear weapons -- noted in a letter to his son, Walter, on the flight home from Hiroshima that "our new destructive force is so many thousands of times worse that it may realize Nobel?s dreams.?

So I hope.

Cuban Agriculture Policy Update

A self-described liberal idealist who says his three visits to Cuba in violation of federal law were acts of civil disobedience has been denied admission to the New Jersey Bar by the state Supreme Court. Zachary Sanders, who passed the New Jersey bar exam in July 2001, first was given a thumbs down by the Committee on Character, which rejected his argument that he had a right to disobey what he called the "immoral and unjust" embargo on trade and travel to Cuba.

Oops.

Left Going Zax, Right Going Zax

Today's Matier & Ross:

"Our theme song is "Hold Your Ground -- Don't Back Down,' " said McClintock campaign spokesman John Feliz. "We are in this all the way."

Former Republican state Chairman John Herrington, a conservative who is backing Schwarzenegger, figures that's about right.

"I don't see him getting out," Herrington said. "I was on the phone the other night with Newt Gingrich, and he says Bustamante is going to win.

"It shocks me because I still think Schwarzenegger is the guy," Herrington said. "But we do have a problem."

For you bourbon drinkers

Check out StraightBourbon.com.

Alternate Clinton

"Bush was scare-mongering! Sure, there were several thousand tons of absestos floating around Manhattan, but what's a small risk of asbestosis compared to... what... 7,000? 8,000 dead? It wasn't for a week until the numbers starting doing down..."

"It wasn't scare-mongering. It was scary. And it was part of what happened -- at least as the President understood it then."

"But New York City was already on edge -- a vicious terrorist attack -- a country terrified, and then Bush has to add insult to injury by carrying on about some rarified risk of cancer. People left the city by the hundreds..."

"Compared to the 8 million that stayed?"

"...and the thousands. It gave the world exactly the wrong impression. Images of people loading up their cars and evacuating Brooklyn? We were starting to come together by that Friday, really come together, and the President took the wind out of our sails by pushing that EPA report out before all the facts were in."

"He was being cautious."

"He was wrong. Now you are mad at me because Hillary is pointing that out? The risk of cancer was really very low... the risk of lung problems was vastly overstated by the President. He was making political hay by claiming that everyone in New York was threatened by the World Trader Center collapse, not just the poor fellows who were actually killed. He just wanted to make people scared and you are just mad that Hillary Clinton is calling him on it. She wants answers -- and the American people deserve the truth."

* * *

Or something like that.

Next Year, I Begin Selling FTL Stardrive

... the catch is that you have to do the physics, the engineering, the design and the manufacturing.

Okay. No superluminal technology here, but here's an odd Air Car company, Aerospectives, that I first noticed in a Popular Mechanics advert at the gym. The thing is, all I can tell that they got is a concept -- design criteria and little else -- and that they want airplane homebuilders to get involved in the design and engineering process of their own product.

Their vehicle, the Taero, looks cool, but their promotional materials are all about how to farm out the engineering and manufacturing work, and have very little about the feasibility of the aircar itself.

Anyway, I like aircars as much as the other guy, but this thing will never fly.

A small victory

Pennsylvania has repealed its motorcycle helmet law.

Good for human freedom and good for folks on organ donor waiting lists.

Grabasstic!

The horror, the horror! Arnold Schwarzenegger grabbed a woman's ass -- In 1983! At Carnival! In Brazil!

Fortunately, CODEPINK is on the case:

Karen Pomer, an activist with CODEPINK -- a women's peace group that coordinated the Santa Monica protest -- said allegations about Schwarzenegger's behavior toward women cannot be dismissed as a partisan attack. "I'm an independent, and I'm not voting for Gray Davis. I never have," she said. "This isn't about partisan politics. It's about being offensive to women.

Of course, Americans are the boors and no native Brazilian would ever do something so untoward.

Al Simpson is sorely missed

A great piece on gay marriage and the Federal Marriage Amendment by Former Senator Alan Simpson.

The California I Love

A report from the Nor-Cal Yoga Championships.

The competitors said that yoga is not competitive, not really, but that they would surely like to finish on top because the victor gets a trip to the national finals in Los Angeles and a chance to win a trip around the world.

Not competitive, but a competition. Judging, but non-judgmental.

Coming Next : The Zen Meditation Steel Cage Match

Manufactured Heroism?

One of the joys of Mark Morford, the sex toy-obsessed Chronicle columnist, is that he's entirely self-fisking:

Here is his his biting criticism of the men and women who wear the uniform:

The fabric of war consists not of gallant battles fought by hardy soldiers for some noble collective good yay yay go team, but of manufactured tales of valiant brotherhood and purebred heroism designed to make the vile pill slightly less bitter.

Manufactured heroism? I doubt this man even knows any veterans.

While I will hold my manhood cheap, he can just hold his cheap manhood.

Small City, Smaller SuperHero

Who knew that Marysville, TN had its own superhero?

It's the New Adventures of Returning Society to an Era of Proper Social Norms Man!

Episode 1: Wal-Mart Wildman

Light Blogging

I apologize for the light blogging of late. The new job is very cool, but the commute to Sacramento and back, combined with the sheer novelty of a new job, has me pretty much beat on both ends --- and I'm not going to get in the habit of blogging from work.

I'm hosting Carnival of the Vanities in a couple of weeks, so hopefully I'll generate at least a reasonable amount of content before that.

Asteroid Strike Czar

With new threats of an asteroid strike in 2014, Jay Solo asks what one ought to do as "Asteroid Strike Czar." My position is that an asteroid strike, so long as its 10 or 12 years out, probably isn't definate doomsday -- provided, however, that we don't appoint a "Czar" to run the show.

Czars don't work well as the head of either Russian or American bureaucracy. You need a fellow like Leslie Groves, who knows how to manage scientists and engineers and keep everyone else the hell out of the way.

Tonight's Debate

Some random, and almost certainly useless, links on tonight's debate in Walnut Creek.

* The debate will be held at the Dean Lesher Center for the Performing Arts, which was paid for by Dean Lesher -- founder of the Contra Costa Times, which was sold to Knight-Ridder several years after his death.

* The Leshers owned one of the biggest houses in Orinda but tales of trick-or-treaters being rewarded with handfuls of full-sized candy bars, perhaps apocryphal even in my brothers' day, never panned out.

* The debate will be held in the Margaret Lesher Theater. Margaret Lesher was the second wife of Dean Lesher, although they were married for most of thirty years. After Dean's death, she shacked up with Collin "T.C." Thorstenson, 40, a professional buffalo trainer, married him, and drowned six months later under mysterious circumstances.

Pakistani Bricklayers

The President has decided that what America needs is a manufacturing czar. I trust this will work about as well as our drug czar.