Sunday, October 12th, 2003
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7:00 pm
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Sunday, September 28th, 2003
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4:16 pm - test
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Tuesday, September 2nd, 2003
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8:07 pm
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i'm restless.
i did yoga, and it made me restless.
so i think i'll take a bath and read.
that will be good.
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(11 comments | comment on this)
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Friday, August 22nd, 2003
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3:39 pm
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Saturday, April 26th, 2003
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10:40 am - questions
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all these questions.
are they okay?
is it okay to be questioning everything in my life?
every decision.
every move.
every choice.
every breath.
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(13 comments | comment on this)
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Friday, April 4th, 2003
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3:46 pm
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Friday, March 21st, 2003
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7:14 am
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i hate it when i feel like no one is listening to me. i hate it when i feel like i'm being ignored, or misunderstood.
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(23 comments | comment on this)
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Tuesday, March 18th, 2003
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11:46 am
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11:40 am - (not) a pretty girl
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what a lovely photo of ani...
i want to be cool like this.
current music: Ani Difranco-Not A Pretty Girl
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(15 comments | comment on this)
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9:50 am
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Monday, March 10th, 2003
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5:38 pm
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I can't decide what it is i want to do.
I can't decide if i'm making a decision for the right reasons.
or all the wrong ones.
But I have to decide.
so.
now what?
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(4 comments | comment on this)
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6:44 am
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Sunday, March 9th, 2003
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6:31 pm
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sometimes i'm just so tired.
my blood pressure has been awful lately.
and i don't understand.
in other, better news...i found out that my cousins wear a bigger size pants than me. and that makes me feel good.
in that sick way.
fuck.
i don't know whether i'm leaving in a few weeks or not...i don't know.
i know i'm not ready.
fuck fuck fuck.
that's all i have to say.
and i feel very alone right now.
in a room full of people.
current mood:  lonely
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(16 comments | comment on this)
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Wednesday, March 5th, 2003
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7:10 pm
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april first. spring quarter starts april first. could i get insurance to hold out until then? i could leave on saturday afternoon...yes, i think that's the best plan.
because i don't feel like insurance is going to pay much longer, but if i can get them to pay for the rest of the month, that should help.
(for those of you just tuning in to erin's head....my insurance is talking about discharging me from here. so i'm panic stricken of course.)
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(9 comments | comment on this)
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Monday, March 3rd, 2003
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7:15 am
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yesterday was fun because i forgot about myself for a while.
and that was nice...although i felt like it was following me around everywhere i went.
But I couldn't eat really.
so.
that's that.
right now i just want out.
i want out out out out out out out out.
i don't want to feel this anymore.
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(comment on this)
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Wednesday, February 26th, 2003
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2:06 pm
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I'm off weight gain.
and today, i feel good.
i have a feeling though that i'm under the ideal...but i'm going to fight to stay at this weight.
fight fight fight.
fight to stay here, because if they take me higher, as soon as i leave i'll drop it.
i think my plan is to relapse softly.
quietly.
and just enough to drop the weight but not end up back here.
and i hate myself for thinking stuff like that.
i hate that those kind of things go through my head.
grr.
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(5 comments | comment on this)
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Friday, February 21st, 2003
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6:04 am
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sometimes it just hurts too much.
sometimes i want to turn my head off.
not listen.
not hear.
because it just hurts too much.
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(11 comments | comment on this)
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Wednesday, February 19th, 2003
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2:24 pm - updated CD List...
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Thursday, February 13th, 2003
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8:46 am
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one more week.
well, no, just a few more days and i'm done with weight gain.
and that's so happy.
although, not happy at the same time.
we have a full house now.
it's strange.
i wonder who will be first to go...and if it will be me.
i go out to lunch today with the dietitan.
at least it's sushi..so not so scary.
paul fixed my typewriter yesterday.
hooray!
i cried this morning because christina aguillera's 'beautiful' was on mtv.
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(13 comments | comment on this)
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Friday, February 7th, 2003
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6:29 pm
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