Of course the recent election has ruffled more than just some crazy pagan tailfeathers. Lots of LJ’s liberal community, various anarchists, stupid teenagers, and even some Republicans have had trouble dealing with the results of Bush 2.0’s successful reelection campaign.

This brings us to moderndayknight’s “LiveJournal Post-Election Suicide Watch,” an ever-growing list of those LJ users who are probably going to off themselves or at least act like asses for the next four years. Many people see it for what it is, a bit of humor and a way to laugh at the situation, but many others have gone off the deep end and take it personally while some people go so far as to seeing the white vans coming after them to steal their First Amendment rights in the dark of night.

This drama covers more territory on LJ than all the red states combined, and chances are I’ve missed plenty of links. Feel free to contribute more in the comments here.

Have you voted for me and jameth yet? Because IF YOU DON’T you get DELETED FROM THE DRAMACRATIC PARTY. And all your ljdrama comments will be changed to “I am a douchebag". And we will knock up your cat.

This weekend, at the Dramacratic National Convention, we, hepkitten and jameth, accepted the Presidential Candidate Nomination for the Dramacratic Party (dramacratic party community | hepkitten’s acceptance speech)

Yeah, I’m the new guy. What’re you gonna do about it?

Found this on the Doonesbury comic page:

Long story short, GB Trudeau publishes a comic that lists the names of every soldier that’s died in Iraq as of the end of April. Ppl come out of the woodwork to comment. Fun ensues. You get the idea.

Also, DL is h0tt.

“>tangerine_rose posted Things you believe if you are a Republican today in
“>University of California, Davis. It’s a a happy fun list of things “conservatives” except everyone else to swallow, and has been circulating forwarded emails for a while now.

Some liberals say “omg, that’s funny.” Which, it isn’t, but they can have their happy little delusion. Conservatives and whiny liberals, on the other hand, say that it is totally not true, and not all conservatives believe that. Just in case you were getting the wrong idea about our current administration, they are here to set you straight.
Robo_Tom in particular says: “your rant on conservatives shows how little you really know about them. they are much more complex than your 1-dimensional list attempts to portray.”

Personally, I’d think that the exaggeration is why “>tangerine_rose posted it, but I doubt she put that much thought into it.

Many other people follow robo_tom’s lead, as they take offense at the one-liner generalizations. They come up with their own one-liners to counteract the evil liberal lines.
“>Bondboy explains how he sees the world (and everyone should agree) with: “A president lying UNDER OATH is called perjury. Perjury is a crime. A president making bad decisions on bad information is not the same as committing a black and white crime.”
More comments from “>Bondboy are here and here

Other conservatives complain here, providing the quote above.

Thanks to Monkeygirl with the fake email for the submission.

Posted on the recommendation of auntiesiannan, who rocks my world. LIKE OMG.

Desparate for the love he never received as a child, belt0033 makes a little questionnaire to let people determine for themselves whether or not they’re worthy of his deep, profound political discourse on a one-on-one basis. Including such DEPTH-FILLED questions as “Do you think guns are inherently bad?” and “Do you think terrorists only hate conservatives?", little baby Eric stirs up a shitstorm. All the lefties (DAMN THEM! THEY’RE WRONG ABOUT EVERYTHING!) either fill out the questionnaire or call him on his idiocy straight up, and he gets all verklempt and reminds them that THEIR OPINIONS DON’T MATTER ANYWAY because they believe that Clinton was a good President.

He also refers people to his own personal sockpuppet troll journal, leftard. Some old favorites of LJDrama pop up here (although we have no Nathan Sheets cameos, sadly), including: belt0033 and quantumbitch, another top commenter on this monstrosity, were previously featured on LJDrama here.

Seriously, there’s some good stuff here. Mostly because Eric Belt is quite clearly not the brightest crayon in the box and knows it, so he resorts to lame insults to convince people that Bush is a good President.

EDIT: The untimely demise of the brilliant journal of fro0tlo0p.

fro0tlo0p">fro0tlo0p used to be pals with this guy named critus">critus. They were friends back in high school, but fruity quit school and stopped talking to critus and a couple other people because he felt abused by them. Through the magic of LJ, they have started speaking again, but like all great love stories, there’s a tragic ending.

Alas, politics come between them. You see, fruity is a conservative Christian and critus, well, isn’t. They have a couple political debates on fruity’s LJ, and fruity feels OMG SO ABUSED by the fact that someone doesn’t agree with him. Fruity starts whining about being “abused,” and how he isn’t, “the spineless doormat I used to be who will gladly suffer abuse to avoid abandonment.”

He doesn’t name names, but critus’s chick, netgoth">netgoth, knows to whom fruity refers and posts her own comments regarding critus and fruity’s relationship (scroll down to her entry titled Save the Drama fo’ yo’ Mama, boy.). She pretty much chastizes him throughout - they’re apparently both in the SCA and fruity pretends to be chivalrous in SCA, so she blasts him on how unchivalrous his behaviour towards critus is. She punctuates her post with the foreboding You and I are enemies now. Be 100% clear about that.

So fruity strikes back with a reply to her post, again re-emphasizing how he isn’t a spineless wuss anymore (except that he’s a 31 year old man who cries over political disagreement and obviously can’t let go of how people acted back in fucking highschool). netgoth and thoemeringue">thoemeringue (another person from high school who treated him so baaaaadly) jump in, prompting fruity to threaten netgoth with violence!

And those political debates? Well, there are two I could find here and here.

When politics and religion hook up on el-jay the results are never pretty. jwz, (who is an internet celebrity) posts an entry about an Israeli company not allowing its chinese workers access to hot jewish mamas
A flamewar breaks out (gasp!) and the debate itself is about as pretty as the color scheme it lays on. An old friend of LJDrama pops in to infect the masses with “last word syndrome".

P.S. - dont forget to e-mail jwz about all your xscreensaver problems!

If there’s one thing I hate more than Futhman, it’s fucking fifteen year olds that think they know more than their high school AP Government teacher. Here we have DeadKennedyGirl (who of course was probably born after DK broke up), who makes this profound one-liner post:

police suck and need to not exert their authority in situations that do not call for it…what fucking assholes.

Then we have all the wah wah wahhhh-ing anarchists chiming in with their usual “all cops sux fat ones” mentality… We’re talking about such senior political analyists such as Anomicbeck, who knows an awful lot for someone who just hit puberty (she also cites copcrimes.com as an unbiased source). When Rudycantfail tries to reason with them, they all jump down his throat.

This whole thing stinks of 9th grade immaturity. I loved high school, but I hated kids like these. And yes, I used to be one… How did the mature well-adjusted person that I am today come from such a loser?

Edit: I put <sarcasm> tags in the comments section—do I have to add them to the actual posts, too? GEEZ LOUISE

“>piers_styx makes a post to conservatism, lamenting what he sees as a selling out, by Dubya, of the sorts of values the Republican party embodied in the Reagan 80s.

Out of the shadows jumps “>aelius, the whiner who you may remember from a previous post wherein he bid his fond farewell to the members of conservatism (filled with choice lines such as, “I am sick and tired of this pathetic community of moderate panty wastes.").

Basically, he yells, screams and insults everyone who posts to the thread, before he is finally banned. Then he whines about the ban in his journal and threatens to return with another account.

Short-lived drama, but his brand of venom and viritrol is very amusing. Plus, it seems he does have multiple accounts (such as “>happy_fun_ball, which he uses to threaten the mod with) so it may erupt into bigger drama later.

Best part is when he says, “You shit eating monkey fucker. I’m not banned, and I never will be. Deal with it.” And immediately thereafter, the moderator of the community tells him he’s been banned.

Studphish submitted this drama: Dmbmarc posts a flash animation about Republicans and people get pissed.

Truest quote: “Haha - Democrats can’t even make a lean Flash movie and have it load efficiently. ” —Cyclotron

So there’s a nightclub. It is primarily frequented by “>goths..

The promotor decides to make flyers that feature this image:

This touches off the “>token goth Republican, who decides to question the wisdom of such an activity. This touches off a godawful shitstorm of goths chiming in with their opinions.

Of course, this soon gets really down and dirty as “>demonfafa (previously known for his public service of saving the world from eurotrash) jumps into the fray with several people at once.

The ironic resolution? It was all a misunderstanding of sorts. The freak community has collectively rolled over from some incredibly sudden malaise, released a loud psychic fart and rolled back over into complacency.

And people wonder why LJ wastes so much time and so many words saying so little.

“>aelius, the mod for the community, conservatism bids a fond farewell to his masses.

He makes it known that he is “sick and tired of this pathetic community of moderate panty wastes.

His rant is beautiful. Definitely an entertaining read (entertaining for the people that can comprehend it….for those of you that are looking for the
average nougly/rating community drama…it might prove to be a bit difficult for you to get through.)

I’m posting it because it was submitted by a shitload of you.

If there’s one thing that always puts a smile on my face when I’m down, it’s sweatshops. That’s why I was so shocked to see someone post in hot_fashion about how evil sweatshops were! Of course, starting a debate like this in a community like that is bound to get you in trouble, especially if you don’t know what you’re talking about, like the retard (and straightedge?) poster. She talks about her modeling career and bla bla bla. BOY AM I JEALOUS OF HER (for serious). But at least I don’t have Xs around my name.

Fondly,
xDLxSheetsx

If you don’t know michaelmichael (a good buddy of Nathan Sheet’s), you are missing a real treat. Conservative. Prolife. Anti-gay. Once called the entire nation of Turkey “ungrateful fags” for not basing American troops. In a deleted thread in prolife, he called anti-death penalty prolifers “liberal coackroaches". His own journal is set up in a layout that makes normal people’s eyes bleed and is devoted to descriptions of his workout sesions. And….his use…of ellipses…and!….extra!….exclamation points!!….is precious.

In short, he shows every sign of being a roid raged pinhead who would rather be ideologically pure than win.

So in conservatism, michaelmichael posts the following:

anti abortion activist Paul Hill who slated to be executed for murdering an abortion doctor and a bodyguard said that he sees his execution as making him a martyr for the cause…………..while I respect this mans hatred for killing the unborn…his methods I do not!…Im sorry but bombing an abortion clinic is terrorism and killing someone that performs abortion in my opinion is plain and simply murder without question…..I believe that those of us who support the protection of the unborn need to fight even more because of the destruction of morals in this country..but not by stooping to the level of those that condone the killing of our progeny who themselves are defenseless in the womb….. Paul Hill has done the anti abortion movement a disservice(sp/ck?) by his actions and his rhetoric and unfortunatley has encouraged more than enough confused individuals out there who feel a need to belong and thus will…without thinking….take up arms against those who practice abortion…despite the horrendous act….they do not deserve to be the target of a lone gunman…….we can fight abortion legally and politically without resorting to neandethal tactics….let it be known….I solemly support any means necessary to put an end to this Holocaust…but not by mirroring the actions of one Paul Hill…..thankfully the Pro-Life Movement and Operation Rescue have spoken out against Mr Hill in that they support his right to protest abortion but not his ridiculous actions……..Protect the Unborn Intelligently not thru Stupidity

Forget the contradictions of supporting “any means necessary” to end abortion but not, apparently, Hill’s means…inkedgirl wants michaelmichael to explain why he would respect hatred. A fair question.

michaelmichael’s idea of a fair answer is to ask her if she is a flower child. The conversation gets even funnier as michaelmichael declares that the presence of people who abhor and disrespect violent fanatics is an indication the community is tilting dangerously to the left!

Of course, just as things die down, conservatism moderator aelius, best known for banning respectful liberals from his community while being the most condescending asshole anyone has ever seen in liberal, has to jump in and describe his “giddy joy” at the death of abortionists who are, after all, Hitler.

Now shut up and pass the bong, hippy.

Written by Kamuela
Posted by Sebatical

I’m friends with Brooke. She’s a neat girl. Crazy little liberal, but it is cute.

So she posts a picture making fun of Arnold running for Gov.

This picture here:

Buff starts drama about how the Nazis were really closer to democrats than republicans. Or something. Too many comments for me to read right now. But there is lots of drama… so go enjoy.

Brooke, btw, said she doesn’t care about me posting this here. I’m such a nice guy.

So it seems that while Samia is kicking it in Lebanon, and Futhman in Bangladesh, there’s nobody to keep the LJ Arab population on lockdown. It is no surprise, then, that stuff like this happens. Guy Interrupted posts about “the awful treatment from the israeli soldiers toward the palestinian ppl". People start commenting about the horrible stuff this Arab does to Grammar. The conversation soon turns into a great debate, featuring comments such as this one:

what a dam moron you are!
and indeed you insulted an ARAB man by calling /comparing him to a JEW!go and tell LJ -what YOU did as well.
i don’t give a RATSASS about LJ,nor your ignorant narrowminded trouble seeking self!

go and tell….and i’ll stil will be laughing at you!
because i have the upperhand here.you must go and tell your jewish butt body -
but i speak my mind - you obviously can’t take the HEAT!
ahahaha!

and of course this:

the only way i would like to fuck a shallow minded jew like that is in the head…. with a shotgun!

Edit: the drama continues in motherbitches’ lj (thanks Haligh)

Guntomyhead really enjoys a good flame war. She likes them so much that she goes around and tries to start them. So no one should be surprised at the reaction she got when she posted this in a community for Michael Moore fans:

why do you idolize an ugly fat guy with tits? no. that is a serious question. ponder. think. why? why do I? why does what an uneducated man say have any significance whatsoever? why? and if you think what this man has to say is intelligent, then you my friend are a pathetic pseudo intellectual with absolutely no concept for anything. i feel sorry for you people. what do you think it says about you when you idolize a fat, stupid college drop out? yeah, exactly.

I find it humorous that “pizza” is listed as an interest. I bet michael moore loves his pizza. that fat fuck.

After she gets chewed up and spit out by members of said community, she feels the need to post this and proceeds to attack people for having acne (the HORROR).

It’s almost sad really to see someone so desperate for attention. Or maybe she has a deep down love for Michael Moore?

What appeared to be an excellently progressing thread in the debate community, I’m pretty sure is just one very good troll. Check out this debate topic about the ban of partial abortions.

The hosting troll this evening, is glory_2_god, who has pretty much responded to each and every comment (there’s over 500) and offered to pray for each of the misguided people who are replying.

I have yet to actually decide who is having more fun with this.. the people that are pounding him for it, or him for his responses. Regardless, it’s a complete riot. Read it. Now. Do it. Faster.

Quote of the day: Spiritulaity means connecting with God and you obviosly need some spirituality.

I’ll give this one about a 7.3 on Sebatical’s Troll-O-Meter..

Thanks to Jade for the submission!

Rambo thanks the “govenor” in the twin_cities community for helping to pass the Minnesota Personal Protection Act.

Rambo posts,

Minnesota is the 38th state to come to their senses and pass a “Shall issue legislation". I just want to thank the Gov for his great support and his willingness to sign this legislation immediately into law. I am sure there are a bunch of people on this board that are upset that there will be thousands of people all over the state carrying handguns. The good news is that of the current 11,000 permit holders last year there were No arrests for any firearm related charges!!!! None, zero, zip, nada. Florida has ove 230K citizens with permits. MN is projected to have just over 100K in two years.

Rambo- wannabe comments with the tired-out old saying, “Guns don’t kill people. Stupid people kill people,” to which jongilmour responds with this great photo:

Nice family photo. Just the type of people that should be in possession of firearms, eh?

Addendum:

Rambo gets his feathers ruffled by conformity and emails him the following:

You know you have got to be one the most bitter people I have ever seen!!!! If you disagree with me why do you have to go and personally attack me?? IT doesn?t make any sense. All I did was talk about a new law and you just went totally off the deep end!!! YOU really need to take a chill pill. Typically people that can?t find constructive ways to disagree will resort to personal attacks it is pathetic that you are so desperate you have to make fun of my Shirt! At least I don?t dress like some sort of 70s pimp. It is obvious that your youth and inexpierence at public discussion is coming through.

conformity extends an apology,

“i`am sorry FOR attacking your Shirt!!!!!! YOU are right!!!!! I shoul`d learn HOW to dress!!!!!!! I guess i`am JUST 2 inexpiereienced 2 TALK 2 people!!!!!!1″

The amusement continues to grow.

Plz feel free to remove me from the staff now, thx.

Notgus writes a satirical post in response to the smoking ban that is now in effect in Austin:
” I think they should ban drinking from all businesses in Austin. Let’s face it, some people that drink end up throwing up. Vomit does not smell sexy, people.They should also ban dancing since it makes people sweat. Sweat doesn’t smell very good, either. Also, you could twist an ankle and get seriously hurt! “

spentpenny jumps in and replies.

Her user name appears to be most accurate; judging by the looks of her, she is definitely spent and has seen better days, don’t think you’ll get another
cents worth out of her.

Fuck..people are so passionate about their rights to clean air and free breathing.
Get a fucking oxygen tank and a mask.
Be a little more sympathetic to the people that are smokers, they are killing themselves slowly - have some respect for the dying, please.

My partner in opiated related crime junjk goes on a blatant trolling spree in LJCon2. Luckily for us, most of the [l]users aren’t in on the joke providing 247 (and counting) of inane bickering. HELLO PEOPLE I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU ARE FALLING FOR THIS.

junjk makes the LJDRAMA TROLL OF THE WEEK award. GOOD JOB!

I classified this under “Political Debates”

Still ponyless

darkest_knight protests in fuckyoulist the inconsideration of adult students that bring their children into a college classroom.

“FUCK adult students who bring their children to campus with them”

Strong points made on both sides of the issue; but let’s be honest, unless it’s a child development class, or an emergency situation, children do not belong in class. With the high cost of college tuition in America, I don’t blame these people for being upset and wanting to get the most out of the class they are paying for. They aren’t paying to babysit children.
One thing that I found interesting, and you see it so often, is the parents that jump right in and say, “Oh no..not my child!! My child is perfect. My child is an angel and perfectly well-behaved.”
In fact one person made that statement, saying their child wasn’t a distraction and was so well-behaved, and followed it with the comment,
” most of the students talk to her while she’s in class with me”

Seems to me if the students are talking to your kid during class, they’re being distracted, eh?

Lots42 gets a big thank you for this one.

After a few posts in which highly conservative (and admittedly VERY christian) MichaelMichael calls various cultures (such as Turkey’s entire population) “a bunch of libreal [sic] fags", a plethora of people begin to ask him about it in his personal journal. The argument about whether lessons from the bible are applicable in today’s times erupts, and most of the Christian conservatives begin to sound as though they’re really not sure which side they’re arguing anymore. Note that there’s a whole damn network of hyperlinks that go to other various arguments in which he just sounds more and more confused.. to the point that even the pro-lifers are arguing with him in the prolife community.

After neener6983 posted a (very hard to believe) entry about how a friend’s young sister has had 12 abortions, a number of pro-choice members in abortion debate responded to her.

Not liking the comments that opposed her views, she began deleting them.. and eventually killed the whole original post. Obviously, opposing views are just part of that whole debate concept.. weird how that works, huh? In turn, the enraged debaters posted a new entry pointing it out..

So instead of 30-40 well thought-out responses, there are now over 300 flames comments in this fiasco!

people question why you cant be for animal rights and still eat meat, and receive a sh*tstorm of dramarama. way to support the cause, guys!

someone posts pages upon pages of “propaganda” in the liberal community without using lj-cut. bitchyness ensues when the friends list of someone with a palm pilot is disrupted. the post is finally cut after everyone jumps all over it like flies on shit.

nevermind the community promo, YOU, as a vegan, should never EVER HAVE an lj icon that has to do with animal testing!!#! after all, that’s how you promote it!!

ps. skinny puppy? who’s that?

Guy posts in a conservative community about why conservative women are better than liberal women. The livejournal liberal community finds out about it, and then all hell breaks loose in the original post.