marginalwarfare has a hypothesis that the lead singer of the band CAKE is a mortal incarnation of Lucifer, the Lord of Darkness. He backs it up with a meticulous song lyric analysis that is tl;dr of masters-thesisian proportions. This dramabomb lies dormant for months until the band themselves find it and link back to it from their website, leading the way for a swarm of crazy fans to come comment.

Some of them scold him for insulting their band, some profess their love of Christ, and some seem to agree with all seriousness that this is compelling evidence. One even applies Qabalistic analysis (Kappa-Epsilon-Phi-Alpha-Lambda-Eta Omicron!) to show that Lucifer invented the Internet (and we thought it was Al Gore all this time). Then we have the priceless people like prolixe who blame their DSM-IV disorders on a band:

“thank you for writing this! about a month before you wrote this entry, i was riding in the car with my then boyfriend and he had cake in the cd player. all of a sudden i had a full blown panic attack and told him he HAD to take that cd out of the player because something was disturbing me. he just sent me the link to this page tonight.“

as macoto said, “I haven’t read the post but the backlash is pretty hilarious.”

Michele:

So apparently one of the mods at fandom_wank, a community so devoted to controversy it got its ass booted from Livejournal REPEATEDLY, got *extra* pissed over the latest kerfuffle and deleted the community. Then the other mods UNdeleted it, and then there was EVEN MORE DRAMA. f_w is like the cranky ouroboros of fandom at this point.

I didn’t think it was too interesting, outside the “heh, fandom_wank got wanked” sense, until I saw that “>system (an official JournalFen admin-type person) had posted an entry to f_w about it. It was cross-posted here, with much fewer comments.

I read the post. Read it a couple more times to make sure I was reading it right, as this, children, shows just how different JournalFen is from LiveJournal. To quote: “We believe that that doesn’t include the right to delete the community itself, for any reason.”

So. JournalFen can circumvent the Fandom_Wank moderators’s decision to get rid of this community, because the JF people were whining. Holy shit. That… is either inspiring, or scary, or both. This community being fandom_wank, wankery ensued.

JournalFen is Fandom_Wank. Really. It is.

Bonus for You know, I’m speaking pretty unironically when I say that things like this restore my faith in humanity.

Oh, and Michele? You fucked up the HTML and the site’s address in your submission. Bad you.

As some of you know, Fantasia “BoBo” Barrino won American Idol’s fourth season last night. Apparently, some people are a bit more hardcore about American Idol than me, which isn’t necessarily a good thing…*pushes imaginary eye rolling key*

House4redsoxgets nerdy on American Idol lovers by posting a definition to the word “idol", then decides to attack the current Idol’s personal life.

“Webster’s Definition of Idol is: An image used as an object of worship. A false god. One that is adored, often blindly or excessively. Something visible but without substance.”

Fans get a bit testy with the OP, calling her out on the definition of idol and origin.

Comments sling back and forth, and defenses of Madonna and other Hollywood moms come forth, not to mention a LjDrama.org style picture:

I have to post this. It’s like some of our favorite topics have been involved in a spectacular train crash. So get over mediacrat for five minutes and check this out, you sluts.

A bunch of fanfic writers create a community called fan_the_vote. The premise behind it is that a bunch of fanfic writers will write fanfic on demand in return for contributions to the Kerry campaign or MoveOn.org. (Why anyone would ever pay for fanfic is beyond me.)

But all is not well in the land of “slash,” “RPS,” and “het!” Dem-for-Dubya ianmcduff, who loves him some boyband slash and extraneous use of Latin to sound like an intellectual, decides to make an INTERNET LAWSUIT against fan_the_vote. (OK, really, he “instructs his counsel” to make a complaint to the FEC, but I like “internet lawsuit” better.)

Bring on the fangirls and the armchair theorists!

This drama combines fandom, politics and internet lawsuits. HELLO AWESOME.

x3_fade, a sixteen-year-old girl from who-the-hell-cares, is “seriously bummed out” that her high school is doing “Into the Woods” instead of “Les Miserables” because OMGZ I WUZ 2TALY SET ON EPONINE.

Along the line come some good funnies, like “There is nothing as thought-provoking as Les Miserables” and “i wasted a good 2 hours of my life reading the synopsis…and IT MADE NOT SENCE!” (For those of you who aren’t up on your musical theatre–"Into the Woods” itself is approximately two to three hours long, and it’s not terribly difficult to follow. Anyone who takes two hours to read the synopsis and can’t follow it is, well, probably dumb enough to say “IT MADE NOT SENCE!")

Now, I’m sorry, but personal opinion is weighing in here. Don’t worry, though; I’m an undergrad theatre major. I know everything. Here’s the dish, kids: THEY’RE MUSICALS. THEY ARE BOTH ABOUT AS DEEP AS A PAPER PLATE. And they represent about as deep as most musicals go. Seriously, however, anyone who claims that either is the most thought-provoking thing EVAR or whatever needs to learn just a little more about theatre (not to mention life in general).

P.S. To the whiners: Fine. Quinn. There. I swear he’s fake, but whatever.

grubi“>grubi tellz a buncha phan-phic
riterz dat phan-phic sux and
den dey git all made abot
it and a buncha drama happen.

omg it izn’t mah falt diz drama
iz lame it iz ur falt r sum1
elzes and teh same 4 teh fact
that teh rite-up iz kinda lame
if u dont like it I DNOT CAR
do U like my new bitchy alttitud?

herez a diguzting pic 2
look at and dont 4get 2 vizit
mah jernal bcuz im reelly
more intrasted n gainging phans
den riting drama up good kthx.

elgorgo“>elgorgo
elgorgo“>elgorgo
elgorgo“>elgorgo
elgorgo“>elgorgo
elgorgo“>elgorgo
elgorgo“>elgorgo
elgorgo“>elgorgo
elgorgo“>elgorgo
elgorgo“>elgorgo
elgorgo“>elgorgo
elgorgo“>elgorgo
elgorgo“>elgorgo
elgorgo“>elgorgo
elgorgo“>elgorgo
elgorgo“>elgorgo
elgorgo“>elgorgo
elgorgo“>elgorgo
elgorgo“>elgorgo
elgorgo“>elgorgo
elgorgo“>elgorgo
elgorgo“>elgorgo
elgorgo“>elgorgo
elgorgo“>elgorgo
elgorgo“>elgorgo
elgorgo“>elgorgo
elgorgo“>elgorgo
elgorgo“>elgorgo
elgorgo“>elgorgo

diz drama wuz submated by
harpie who iz mah bigest phan.

Greg sez: Some genius decides to post an entry about how much they hate people that buy family guy tshirts at hot topic, someone else posts that hot topic is owned by the gap, hot topic employee comes in…drama ensues.

Fine. Some chick uses Photoshop and gets called out by LotR fans.

Also comic feed drama.

There. Now let’s get over the whole stupid STD girl thing and laugh at idiots like we used to.

Good ol’ Trea is made at a forum entitled Stranger Things for creating a thank you ad for the lead actor of the show “Angel". She, along with her friends, continue to bash the people on that board, but- wait!- they’re accusing THEM of the bashing! People from said board come to defend themselves calmly, and it finally comes down to Trea’s friends resorting to name-calling and hair-pulling.

So yourewrongbitch">yourewrongbitch and a friend go to a White Stripes concert and manage to meet Jack White. One thing leads to another, and she and her friend find themselves being Jack White groupies. So what does she do?

Well, she finds a community called jacks_cock“>jacks_cock (”this community is for fans of jack white’s balls and biscuit that are constantly exploding out of his unnecessarily tight pants.“) and posts all about her supposed sexual escapades with Mr. White.

Many people believe her story (hey, it was on the Internet, it’s gotta be true!) while a few moral naysayers say it’s disgusting to post this sort of intimate information (because let’s face it, if you’re in a community devoted to talking about a guy’s cock, you’ve got lots of room to take the moral high ground).

Then an anonymous poster claiming to be Jack White’s brother Ed jumps into a thread on yourewrongbitch’s LJ, saying that he and JW’s other brothers know about every single sexual encounter he’s had in his life, and yourewrongbitch’s story doesn’t ring true.

It’s rather old, but is it ever fucking stupid.

What happens when you cross a self-righteous prude with an annoyed pornfan? Entertainment, that’s what. Especially if the pornfan has five dollars laying around.

Elance says:

I’ve thought of something. fandom_scruples has no contact email address, and no way of talking to her.

It’s a free account.

But…if it were a paid account, no one could stop us from emailing her at fandom_scruples@livejournal.com

Tomorrow’s my birthday. I have a little bit of birthday money from my parents. I am willing to put $5 toward the cause of having fun with the troll getting our voices heard.

So, I’ve done it.

Have fun, slashfen. And spread the word.

Fandom scruples is a reverse-blacklist journal that adds people if they are “clean” aka post fanfic that isn’t about little kids fucking and stuff. Apparently this guy likes his chan slash (like tcgiant)…

From Ovary.

richgirls“>richgirls is a community for fans of the ridiculous MTV reality show. Offtopic posts are allowed, however, and punkasbenji">punkasbenji takes advantage of this by cross-posting a question about “ugg-style boots” (sorry, I have no idea what that is - my idea of fashion is jeans and a t-shirt).

ok, you know how ugg-style boots are getting really big in NYC so a lot of people are buying emus?(cuz its really hard to get uggs) well, someone told me they heard on tv that some places are selling man-made material emus and saying they are real sheepskin. and this worried me cuz i know that man made emus are out there(they r sold in alloy for like, $40, which is a ton more then what i paid) and when i sprayed my emus w/ the weather stuff they faded… do i think i got ripped off? did anyone else hear this?

josie_no">josie_no (who is proud to be a slut and loves Paris Hilton, so you know she’s got real class) knows that punkasbenji doesn’t really want the advice she asked for - she wants josie’s opinion!

i think anyone is stupid for buying them - they’re ugly as all hell and they’re only buying them because “they’re in".

Thus begins a fight between fashion divas, though the convo eventually gets sidetracked into a discussion of emo bands.

Bad spelling abounds.

Obsessive Dilbert fans? It seems many share an emotional, perhaps spiritual bond with his poorly drawn antics via the Dilbert feed. Lacking a filter or the ability to ignore “first posts", Dilbert fans proceed to straighten brindys tie (and tell him to die, etc..). A little further down the thread the weird nitpicking continues on a new tangent and warren s bravely tries in vain to calm frayed nerves.

keefdranktheegg">keefdranktheegg, after reading some posts on a hippie message board, makes a post about why she thinks Led Zeppelin is overrated. Predictably, a bunch of Led Zep fans leap to the band’s defense, and everyone totally overreacts including keef, who later posts:

Man a lot of you guys really piss me off to the point where I get violent. Oh well lucky you’re not in the same room as me, I’d grab you by the wrists and ram you into a wall then throw you on the ground and kick you so hard in the ovaries until you started coughing up blood. Then after laughing at you, I’d start blasting The Who until you went deaf. Now will all you little Led Zeppelin fanatics leave me the fuck alone? You will? Thanks!
Oh by the way, violett_, actually I do think I know what I’m talking about. I pretty much know more than you or anyone else in the entire world weather I like someone’s music or not, okay? Okay.
Please all you little Zeppelin fanatics, take me off your friends list. Stairwaytolove, xsweetsorrows, woodstockbeatle (YEAH, I DID say you ERIN.), etc. All the Who and Beatles fans stay.

I have a headache, so I am just gonna let “Leora” (who submitted this drama) say the snarky stuff. ” there’s just something about kids born in 1988 and 1989 pulling classic rock references out of their ass and calling eachother “love” when they live in Jersey and SoCal that is too much.. and that they all listen to Jethro Tull.”

(besides, at least LZ knew when the magic was over and didn’t go on reunion tour after reunion tour, and release mediocre albums)

I’m just addicted to teenage girls!

naturesawhore“>naturesawhore decides to pimp her friend sea__food“>sea__food in the add_me“>add_me community. Rather than talking about her friend’s good qualities, she goes straight for the important stuff - is her friend into good music?

SHE LIKES NIRVANA, HOLE, WEEZER, SEX PISTOLS, AND MANY MORE GOOD BANDS.. UNLIKE THE REST OF YOU EMO TWATS ON HERE.

That is sufficient enough to convince me, sure, but not these community members.

A bunch of emo twats predictably start complaining. The most noticable is noiserevolution“>noiserevolution, who thinks that Nirvana is like OMG so cliche because they sell Nirvana stuff at Hot Topic. Or something like that.

bouncing_shoes“>bouncing_shoes jumps in with her $ 0.02, as well.

EVERYONE SHOULD ADD CARRIE BECAUSE SHE IS RIGHT.
EMO/SCREAMO + WHATEVERELSMO IS SHIT + IT NEEDS TO DIE. ALONG WITH ALL THIER HIPSTER TRASH FOLLOWERS.
KTHNX BYE.

Fun drama if you like to laugh at dumb teenage girls.

And if you thought THAT was geeky… Wait till you see what Bob from Amsterdam sent us. Bob?

Gril gets pissy with friends

Reonyea’s friends upset her at college by telling her that the internet site she lives on and is constantly obsessed with and is taking over her life is stupid and they spam it. She gets annoyed and ignores them then writes a pissy LJ entry at which point all her other looser geek friends jump to her rescue and attack her friends. Arguements ensue. Teen angst.

Thank you, Bob. Just look at this loser:

Today sucked. Three times in the last two days I’ve had to use the ‘I’ve got a cold’ excuse to cover the fact that I’m trying not to cry but my nose is carrying on regardless.

[…]
Why do you feel the need to spam the plaza? Do you not even realise that the reason I defend it is because your desire to just go in there and spam it up actually hurts me? I’ve spent the last two years dismissing spammers as stupid losers with no lives…and then my best friends go and do it. You ignore the fact that I don’t want you to…and you corner me, and basically bring it up yourselves, taunt me and some of my other friends, and then make fun of me when I get upset. You make me feel about three inches tall, with wolves snapping at me from all sides just trying to completely chew me up. I was so mad at you, but so very very cornered that I didn’t stand a chance arguing against you, and you’re all so incredibly mean I barely believe it of my own friends.

CUE WORLD’S SMALLEST ONLINE VIOLIN PLZ. And her spamming friend isn’t much better:

I’m not talking about now, i’m talking about a while back, Y11, when you weren’t even a ruler and Rose and i told pip our feelings about all her time on the plaza and she wrote a thread complaining about us.

Ahahahaha I WAS A RULER BEFORE YOU!

Also the legality of the LotR Plaza comes into question: for allowing 9 year olds on there, or something.

“>

Nrrds debate the quality of Everquest.

I ramble quite a bit here, so here’s a link to the “>un_popular’s journal, I think she’s hot. I don’t read it but every now and then my good buddy Kevn Parker Allen will tell me “dude rofl ambient Kathleen Hanna that un_popular bitch has pixxx in a towel” and I, being Muslim and naturally attracted to towels, will go and wank. And my fellow Americans— patricians of the world! — I hope you’ll agree with me when I say that there’s nothing hotter than an internet girl who takes it up the ass. I mean, how many times does it happen anyway?

It’s special though when LiveJournal’s own “>un_popular takes it in her butthole. Here we see an idol of our own creation, our Princess from Princessville in Princessland, dying for our sins with sperm in her ass.

Although she’s remarkably likeable (or, at least, her journal seems to be) for someone who has 4040840840844084 trolls going through it every day (just as her boyfriend goes through her pulsating brown winkeye these days, ha ha), the fact that she took it like a man seems to explain a lot of things.

I ain’t no conspiracy theorist, but here are the facts:

a) Her lj username used to be GlexiPoo. I know this because I once trolled some community where she was Princess.

b) As recently as October 26, 2003, Princess Princess goes on a long rant about how her mother always told her to keep her butthole clenched tight. I ask you, pal— doesn’t the following look like the ramblings of someone who’s recently been pounded in her delectably rosy Holy of All Holies?

Apparently girls don’t fart. Or shit.

I’m not sure how we get rid of waste. Maybe it comes out in the form of nailpolish remover or eyeliner. Why we have holes in our asses just like men is beyond me.(FOR TAKING UP THE ASS, OF COURSE!!!) But mothers all around the world are telling their foolish sons that girls don’t do that nonsense. And they believe them. And then they grow up to be 23 year old men. They hear a girl fart, and their whole world just flips upside-down.

Also, the killer line:
If there’s one thing my mother taught me when I was little, its:
Keep your butthole tight at all times.
Does this mean that “>GlexiPoo’s mother knew the joyous indulgence of Anal Sex as well, and wanted to inculcate her daughter into the subtle gratification? I think so, ho!

And the last, orgasmic wonder:
Hey, at least I don’t stick fire crackers up her butt, and light them.

Well DUHHZZZZ, of course you don’t stick fire crackers up someone’s butt, that’s what the cock is for!

But anyway, just like Jameth coming out of the closet at the age of three, ready to be sodomized and manhandled by the Western World, “>GlexiPoo bravely tells the world that she had anal sex, and would do it over and over again.

Naturally, they all track the guy down, offer their shoulders to cry on and all that. I think it’s really fitting though (like a glove, and 1.5 degrees warmer!) that the first comment is “Asshole.” It seems that QuasiJew, i.e. the infiDL, is an active commenter on this journal.

Threads of note include:

The obviously stupid Cukee WTF-ing and LOL-ing and being ::LOST:: (and eventually even asking JewDan to go play in traffic!)

Some insanely creepy looking dude talking about how he can “handle the sex posts just fine.” Of course you can you scummy fuck, am I the only online creep who’s wanked off to thoughts of “>GlexiPoo taking it in the butt?

Isolated bits of hilarity from Tr1x0r— Isolated Bit 1 and Isolated Bit 2.

I also had this really funny conversation with the chick that sent me the URL, and I thought I’d see fit to post that too, just for the butt puns.

dRaMaNgReG: I don’t mean to be anal about this sorry
dRaMaNgReG: this whole drama just stinks though
Azalea Kafka III: stop taking swipes at her
Azalea Kafka III: don’t make un_popular the butt of your jokes!
dRaMaNgReG: good, I felt bad for DUMPing this on you
Azalea Kafka III: no, i’m the man for making cracks about her
Azalea Kafka III: she seems to have friends in aBUNdance
dRaMaNgReG: yes but I’ll bet you could make fun of them all in a swift movement
dRaMaNgReG: after she sees this her face will be flushed
dRaMaNgReG: you cheeky bastard!

Yr Pal,
Arafat Kazi.

P.S.: here’s some older LJDrama that includes Glexi!!!

The Annual Miss Fourth Reich Pageant

RIP nonuglies; crossdresser drama

“I AM NOT A CROOK!”

Vote for me or I’ll delete!!

“YOU’RE FAT AND UGLY!!” “NO I’M NOT!!!!!!”

Okay, I don’t know anything about fan fiction. My sixteen-year-old brother writes fan fictions (or “fanfics” for short) and he’s totally into it, so I’ll ask him what he thinks of this issue and keep you guys updated. Meanwhile I’ll just share what LJDrama fan Mel has to say about this fanfic drama: “Fanfiction writers write angry reviews of a mocing review of an angry piece of fanfiction. And no, it doesn’t make sense ot me either. Someone writes fanfiction. Apparently it’s bad quality fanfiction, and lots of people say so. One person pretends to like the bad quality fanfiction, but is really saying they hate it. Someone else hates on this person. It all ends up in a lot of blabbing at the above thread on a Potter message board, with the satirist being all snide and uppity at the people who have nothing better to do than discuss someone elses review of a piece of fiction based on someone elses world. Many, many, many people post about it in their LiveJournals (found through the profiles); auror_lib; _greenie_; ronniekinns; ravenclaw_pride (she posts a few more entries on this too) and that’s all I could find. The fap fap fap drama—will build, but as of now it’s just something to be amused by. Ah, the Potter Fans… will they ever learn?”

Okay, I have a feeling this won’t make sense even to people that are involved in the fan fiction world.

And remember, Fan Fiction writers are one of the lower castes in the geek pyramid.. Can someone please post a link to that diagram?

p.s. this drama would be better if it was about CHAN SLASH, which means gay something.

Usually the air in the Tori Amos community is so thick with estrogen you can hardly see past the sisterly love. Sugarpuss becomes very untori-like and claims sugarpussy has chosen a similar username in order to impersonate and harrass her. Of course sugarpussy plays innocent but posts a lovely picture and reveals an unfortunate medical condition.

Im more of a Steve and Eydie fan myself

Edit: Sugarpussy’s journal has been suspended

So this piece of work decides to post in a Nirvana community about her website where she writes letters to Kurt Cobain in heaven. Apparently she believes that her and Kurt are destined to be soulmates in heaven based on what she read about him in his journals and saw on tv. Anyway, the sheer fucktardery of this person mixed with the pure self-centeredness that she emanates pisses quite a few people off. It continues here, and then emotions start to flare when she attacks the user cobain_x_mortis, who is apparently like, a ringleader, or a golden calf or something in this community.

All through this, the future Mrs. Cobain maintains that this is all serious and not a joke. Personally, I’d prefer that people thought that I was joking with psychotic shit like this. At least then they’d just think I’m a jackass, not a mental case.

Quote of the drama: “i think they go great together, Kurt would totally hang with Christina [Aguilera].”

WARNING: If you’re playing the LJ Drama drinking game at home, you run the risk of death by intoxication by reading this gem.

Some obsessed Harry Potter fan posts an image of the Phelps twins (who apparently are playing the Weasley twins in an upcoming HP movie or something… I don’t know, who cares?) holding signs denouncing twincest slash fic that were forced on them by some other Potter fangirls. While she was expecting everyone to laugh it up and give ‘er the ol’ “Go you!", the public reaction is far from what she expected.

Comment of the post: “How the hell did twincest come up in discussion? Eep!”

Submitted by many people.

Just so you all know, this drama takes place in a community that is dedicated to Weasley incest slash. While the fact that such a community even exists makes some of us wanna bash our heads in with blunt instruments, it really gets you wondering; How stupid do you have to be to think that people in such a community will BACK the denouncement of slash?