The Guardian of Hope's Journal

I just back home and boy... what a night.

So, Amber invited me over to her place today. It was the first time we actually met, face-to-face. While this was the first time we met, I also had to meet the parents as well.

As for the parents, they approve of me. I can easily chat with the step-father and mother quite easily about anything and they all seem to like me and I don't think they have any problem with the age issue (4 year difference). Also, her mother wanted us to be alone together which, although was weird, was kinda cool in a certain aspect.

As for Amber, well, I'm not sure if I'm gonna actually ask her out. I didn't feel any spark there and I don't think we had chemistry together. Perhaps it was her that was holding back on a lot of things because of her parents being around or perhaps because it was the first time we met. Though, I'm sure if she wanted things to progress further, she would have gave me a hug or something before I left. Maybe it's just me.

As for the kicker to the night, on the way back home from Ambers' (I left at 2:30am), I ran out of gas. If I didn't take a wrong turn from her house, I would have done the impossible and drove from Angola, NY to Lackawanna, NY on fumes. Luckily, my dads' cell phone wasn't off when I called and he assisted me with my dilemma.

I'm tired. I'm going to bed. Ni~Ni all!

I've been really out of it today and not acting like myself. I've just kinda been... blah and rarely smiling at things and not making my quips as I usually do. I have no idea to why I'm acting in such a way. It's not like there's really anything on my mind. I don't know... maybe I'll be back to usual if Matty Lee and I go grab some beers later tonight.

Holy crap!

Yes, you're actually reading a new journal entry from me. I know it's been a while since I talked to any of you people out there in LJ. What have I been doing for the past uhm... years? Not much to tell you the truth. But, lets get out to the real meat and potatoes... or at least the peas and carrots of this update.

So, why am I finally updating now? Well, I'm glad you asked. For one, I decided to should write something plus I thought it would be a good time while driving around.

So, what have I been up to lately? I'll tell you. I recently retired from Utopia and it's been quite nice. I actually found out that I can have a life away from my computer. And what a life it's turned out to be so far.

I've met a lot of one of my friends' friends and there all seem cool. I've been hanging out with Becky almost every day and going over Joes place to drink and hang out and what not. I've been chillin' with Cheryl and Justine and Andy. I've had Sara, Nicole, Amber and Ashley come over to my place. And, above all, Becky and Cheryl are trying to hook me up with a girlfriend.

And, speaking of girlfriends, Chelsea has stopped talking to me. Didn't even give me a reason why which I found odd but, meh. Didn't even have the courtesy to say she's not talking to me anymore. But, it's not my concern if she wishes not to have anything to do with me. I just hope she doesn't think I was a dick. And, while I'm on this topic, I spoke to some Amber (I think that was her name) chick for about an hour. I'm kinda hoping things go well and she seems pretty nice. I'm hoping to get to know her a little more before I actually ask her out and hoping to find out why Cheryl wanted to hook me up with her. Not that I don't trust her judgment.

Anyways, that's it. Didn't think I was actually going to write this much but, oh well. I surprise myself sometimes. And I'm rambling. Shut up you fool and end this. Well... ta-ta for now.

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Sixth Level of Hell - The City of Dis!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	Very High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Low
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	High
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very High
Level 7 (Violent)	Very High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Very High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	High

Take the Dante's Divine Comedy Inferno Test

It has finally happened. I got off my lazy ass and got myself a job. Out of a hundred people that were interviewed, I was one of the three that were hired so that makes me feel good. On top of that, I seem to be the prodigy of the chosen three (or so it seems from the hints they're dropping). You are probably asking, "What exactly do you do?". Well, I'm a salesman for Vector Marketing. Pay is damn good and I only hope it gets better as I really start selling stuff.

Still on the subect of the job, it seems my father is fairly upset with my decision of my job. He has been on my case for quite some time to get a job and he didn't care what it was, as long as it's a job. Then, I got out and get this job and he gets all upset about it and me and him have been going at it tooth-and-nail. I don't care what he says, I'm exercising my free-will.

But aside for that rant, it seem I walked into the twilight zone. After coming home from work, I stepped into my room to change and didn't realize it at first but it was partially cleaned while I was gone. I find that somewhat disturbing. I don't like preople cleaning my room when I'm not around. Now, I'm going to be searching for things which I knew where the were but have been moved to a different part of my room. *Sigh* At least people could be telling me beforehand. I mean, I was only at work for 4 hours!

I haven't updated my journal in a while. I'm a bad person, I know. Well, maybe just lazy.

So, uhm, yeah... I went for a job interview yesterday. I applied for a position at ComAir, a subsidary airline of Delta. But, things didn't go that well and I wasn't called back for a second interview. Looks like my search continues.

But, besides my failed attempt at a job, I've had some people say that I've changed. Like, I'm not the person I use to be. That I don't care anymore. That I ignore everyone. Personally, I do not see this change occouring in me but if others see it, perhaps it is happening. And if this is really happening, perhaps I need to do a self-assessment on myself and see why I am behaving in such a manner. Fluh... maybe I'm just worrying to much. I don't know.

Yesterday, my soon to be step-mom (why am I calling her that? I think I should just say step-mom from now on. It'll be much easier. Anyways...) wanted me to drive her back to her place and stop at a few stores along the way. That was no problem. I got to stop at Starbucks so all was good.

So, after all the running around, we arrived at her house. I go in to take a shower since my bathroom is being remodeled and she and her soon go off to pick up some deer meat for my father. After all is said and done, it's about time I go back to my place of residence. So, my step-mom, little sister, her boyfriend and I all pack into my fathers' truck which I drove and head out.

Well, it is decided that my step-mom needs to go to Wal-Mart to return something and I make a quick detour. I drop them off at the entrance and I go park to car. Now, for the interesting story:

I go into the store and find my step-mom at the service counter. She tells me the kids ran off and so I go to chase them down (which takes me forever, mind you!). Well, it seems that one of the girls that works at the customer servce desk sees the ring on my step-mom fingers and almost faints.

Girl: "Are you married?"
Step-mom: "No."
Girl: "Oh! Well, does he have any older brothers?"
Step-mom: "Yeah, but they all live out of state but he has a son and that was him that you just saw."
Girl: "Oh, but he probably has a girlfriend."
Step-mom: "A matter of fact, he doesn't"
Girl: "Oh really! He's pretty cute. I think I know him from somewhere."

And them my step-mom goes on to tell her who I am or where she might have seen me, etc... and the worst thing is that my step-mom didn't tell me about this until later on in the day. >_<

Oh well, from what I've been told she is pretty cute. I think I'll have to make frequent stops at Wal-Mart. ^.~

You give me pleasure, you give me pain
But I still can't find the measure of our life
You give me hope
When all hope has gone
Make my feelings lose control
Like a run away train

So won't you take me to your sacred place
Show me your holy shrine
Your love so sudden and sweet
Won't you spread your arms around me
Wake me up out of this sleep

And breathe your love
Come breathe your love into me
(Come breathe your love into me)
Come breathe your love
Come breathe your love into me
(Come breathe your love into me)

I'm gonna trip on love
Trip on emotions
I'm gonna ride the waves in motion
Here with you
And you can take my fear
Wipe away these tears
You can fill the emptiness
Within my soul

So won't you take me to your sacred place
Show me your holy shrine
Your love so sudden and sweet
Won't you spread your arms around me
Wake me up out of this sleep

And breathe your love
Come breathe your love into me
(Come breathe your love into me)
Come breathe your love
Come breathe your love into me
(Come breathe your love into me)

And breathe your love
Come breathe your love into me
(Come breathe your love into me)

Take me to your sacred place
Show me your holy shrine
Your love so sudden and sweet
Won't you spread your arms around me
Wake me up out of this sleep

And breathe your love
Come breathe your love into me
(Come breathe your love into me)
Come breathe your love
Come breathe your love into me
(Come breathe your love into me)

Love
Come breathe your love into me
(Come breathe your love into me)

Love
Come breathe your love into me
(Come breathe your love into me)

Tis such a beautiful song, no?

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I was thinking, if I had a girlfriend for Valentines Day, this is the basic layout of what I would probably do. If you wish, feel free to use it and give me the results.

1. Start with a gift. Nothing too elaborate or expensive. If the girl really cares about me (or you), she'll be happy with anything so you don't want break the bank, but you do want to make it something special. Something nice and sweet. Basically, don't be cheap, but don't go for broke either.

2. Take her out to a nice dinner. Just take her somewhere nice but dont tell her where. Just get an idea what place she likes most and take her there. You can ask one of her friends if you don't know where to take her or try to get an idea out of her before hand without giving it away. If she wants to go somewhere like a movie, take her there too.

3. Take her back to your place and have some quiet time together. A few drinks and have something nice waiting for her such as another small gift.

4. At the end of the night, it's time to take her to bed. Pay attention to her the whole time. Don't worry about your own wants. Just concentrate on making her feel good. Give her a back rub, message, etc... Basically, just give her the night of her life and make it really memorable.

Remember, every girl is different so make your best judgement as to where to take her and what to get her. Giving her a day that's all about her will be worth it in the end. Also, this can be used any day and not only on Valentines Day. Make every day with your woman a memorable one.

-<font="Lucinda Calligraphy">Salinthos</font>

I have been taliking to one of the people I got to know while playing canasta and I feel very vulnerable at the moment. We got talking about past and present relationships and I think I just opened the floodgates and I just feel very lonely and vulnerable at the moment.

I think I need a hug....

I really don't have much to say. My life as been pretty boring as of late. A matter of fact, some people would calssify it as just pathetic. No job, no money, no real purpose in my life. I just sit around all day playing computer games and video games and watching television. How pathetic is it?

The sad thing is I haven't even been hanging out with my best friend and we used to hand out everyday. We hardly even talk to each other because he is a busy man these days. Constantly working or hanging out with his girlfriend. I'm actually lucky I talk to him once a week. The last time we spoke, he said he'll stop over one of these days and we'll crack open a few brews and just hang out. That should be fun.

In other semi-unrelated news, it that the Kailey-James relationship is on the rocks at the moment. I do hope that they are able to salvage it until at least the summer when they come up to Toronto. I'm highly anticipating their arrival and I will be deeply saddened if these events do not come to pass.

I think this would be a decent place to stop my ramblings about various things. Plus, since I don't have anything else to say, there's no reason why I shouldn't end this entry. So 'till next time, I bid you all adieu.

Well, today is Superbowl Sunday. The time of the year where most males throw parties and sit infront of the television watching football. I guess I happen to be one of those males I speak about but the only difference is that I'm not throwing any party.

I've noticed I don't write much in here anymore. I don't have any reason for it. Perhaps it's because I spend too much time on all the boards that I frequent or perhaps it is because I air personal matters with my friends on AIM/ICQ.

After saying that, let's get on with some real content. Lately, I've been trying to get myself back on a regular sleeping schedule. It's still quite fucked up but it's getting better. My insomnia is still interfering with matters but I'm really trying to correct it.

And speaking of sleeping, some people need to learn that you don't wake up someone when they are trying to sleep. For example, yesterday stepmother and younger step-sister came over. Around 9pm, my older step-sister decided to come over and I has in bed for about 20 minutes and nearing the beginning of my REM cycle. Mu older step-sister decides to come in and wake me up and just to say "Hi." Needless to say, I threatened to kill her and used some foul language in my sleepy tones. Of course, she found the whole situation hilarious. Lets see how she feels the next time she decides to go to sleep and is awoke by someone.

Besides that incident, not much else has happened in my life. Just been sitting back and relaxing. I suppose I should go out and attempt to get a job seeing how the holidays are over and I really need the money.

Stolen from

buffalo_dorks

YOU KNOW YOU'RE A TRUE BUFFALONIAN IF:

While living out of town, you've said to your friends...
~"back home, you could get a case of Labatts for twelve bucks!
~"back home, you could get a 30 pack of Genny for nine bucks!
~"back home, this house would go for only 80K!
~"back home, you could get a large cheese and pepperoni pizza for seven bucks!
~"back home, the bars close at 4:00 AM!"
~"you call this snow?
~"you call this cold?
~"you call this a supermarket?
~"you call these wings?
~"you call this pizza?
~"you call this beef on weck?

*You know that "uppers" and "lowers" aren't drugs.
*You take real chicken wings, subs, beer, hot dogs, and pizza back with you after a visit home to Buffalo.
*You don't let a blinding snowstorm stop you from driving 70 MPH down the Thruway during rush hour.
*You believe snow on Halloween is good because its bound to warm up in November (Moms will say you need the first freeze for Indian Summer)
*You hate Genesee Cream Ale, but crave it when you're in another state.
*You don't put away the winter clothes, they stay in the front closet year-round.
*You've fallen asleep waiting for the light to change at the intersection of Niagara Falls Boulevard and Sheridan Drive.
*You think the idea of "California pizza" is as sacrilegious as cheering on the Miami Dolphins.
*You watch the Bills on TV with the sound turned down, and the radio turned to the game.
*You still can't say Interstate instead of Thruway when you relocate to another state.

You've been around Buffalo a long time if you've ever called...
~Bon-Ton - "AM&A;'s"
~Kaufmanns - "Hengerer's" or "Berger's"
~Quality Markets - "Bells"
~Buffalo State College - "State Teacher's"
~Daemen College - "Rosary Hill College"
~TCI - "Courier Cable"
~Adelphia - "International Cable"
~Super Flea - "GEX" (or I.D.S.)
~Jubilee - "Super Duper"

*Half of your friends moved to Charlotte, North Carolina ... and the other half went to Florida.
*You call an apartment a "flat," just like the Brits do.
*You use the word "the" before the numbers of expressways, like "The 90", "The 400" and so on.
*You save Canadian coins ... to use at tollbooths and parking meters.
*You've held a "wave-a-thon" at four way stop intersections ("No, you go...")
*When someone a speaks of "family restaurant," you think of names like "The Olympus," "The Acropolis," "The Agean," and "Your Host" (not Denny's or Perkins)
*You can tell what part of town someone is from because of their accent. (Especially dat der Chickatavagas town der, an' de Wesside)

You've ever feasted on these treats...
~real chicken wings (not "Buffalo wings")
~real beef on weck.
~real pizza, with no crust, cut lengthwise into strips
~charcoal broiled hot dogs
~Niagara Street clams
~pierogies
~Weber's mustard
~Texas hots - (Ted's)
~St Joseph's day bread
~twice baked double cheese potatoes

And washed it down with...
~Genessee Cream Ale, in a 16 ounce bottle ("da pounder")
~loganberry
~Vernor's
~OV
~Visniak or Black Rock pop

*You slam on the brakes and slow to a crawl whenever you see the "Village of Kenmore" sign. (big radar section)
*You watched Canadian television, just so you could see US shows a day or two earlier than they would appear in the States.
*You still flinch when you hear the words "wide right!" or someone mentions the "no goal".
*You go "shhhhhh" whenever a story about a fire or the Bills appears on the news.
*You can make the coins land perfectly in the toll basket at 20 MPH or higher.

You think it's quite acceptable to take a day off work on...
~Dyngus Day
~St. Joseph's Day
~St. Patrick's Day
~St. Stanislaus Day
~Ash Wednesday
~the Monday after a Bills victory

*You use your garage as the living room during the summer, putting a big screen over where the overhead door would be.
*You still go to all the neighborhood and ethnic festivals, even though they're really all the same.
*You don't really think there's anything wrong with Pat Gambino Ford commercials.

You know the lyrics to...
~"You Know We're Gonna' Win That Cup"
~The Bills "Shout" song
~Any song by Rush
~"Talkin' Proud"
~The Crystal Beach "pay one price" jingle
~The Tops "Tops never stops saving you more" jingle
~The Sattlers "998 Broadway" jingle, even if you weren't alive when they were still open.

You've nearly gotten into fights over topics like...
~Malecki vs. Sahlen vs Wardynski vs. Shelly vs. Redlinski vs. Zwiegels (wieners)
~Anchor Bar vs. Duff's (chicken wings)
~Bocce Club vs. Leonardi's (pizza)
~Tops vs. Wegmans (supermarkets)
~the fastest way to drive to Washington, DC

*You go to Niagara Falls for the outlet shopping and the Italian food, not the scenery.
*You spend hours planning drives to avoid toll booths.
*Your snowblower has more horsepower than your car ...and you use it about as often.
*You've ever sarcastically said "Fun? Wow!"
*One of your friends claims to have known Ani DiFranco or a Goo Goo Doll from high school.
*You have more than one shovel in your garage.
*Your car has more rust than exposed paint.
*You stocked up on Malecki hot dogs after you heard the company was going out of business...

What does an insomniac do all night? Why, write poems, of course!

Me and You

Everytime I see your face.
I get so weak.
You touch me with your tender hands,
And I can hardly speak.

You are always so sweet,
When I am around.
Just the way you look at me,
Makes my heart pound.

Your beautiful eyes,
And soft sweet lips.
Sends quivers straight down,
To my finger tips.

It's the way you move,
The way you walk..
It's the simplest things,
Like when you talk.

I love you more,
Than words could ever say.
As far as I can see,
It will always be that way.

I wish you'd hold me,
In your arms forever.
I'd give anything,
Just so we could be together.

No matter where I am,
I am always thinking of you.
And wondering,
If you are thinking of me too.

I'm falling so deep,
I just hope it's not a dream.
I hope everything's,
As good as it seems.

And if you feel,
The way I do.
Then we'll be together forever,
Just... Me and You.

Everyone that knows me would probably say I'm a pretty calm and relaxed dude. But, at the moment, I'm hella stressed and I have good reason to be.

Today, was the first day of classes for this semester. Since I failed two classes, I figured I had to go back and re-take those so I could graduated. Well, it seems like the government was out to screw me today. It seems like government issues me a Satisfactory Acedmic Program/Probation (whatever) (SAP) which basically states that they want me to keep going to school but not where I am going. They would like me to transfer and continue my education elsewhere. If I would have passed the classes in question, it would have meant graduation.

After talking to the Dean for a while, I had to speak with the Acedemic Advisor. It seems that she and I came up with the same idea and the same time. What if those two classes I failed became incompletes and I did something to make up for the work? Of course, it would be up to the teachers' discretion.

So, I went and spoke to one of the teachers' and the response was quite favorable as was expected. As I approached the second teacher on the issue, she seemed a bit reluctant to overturn her decision. After begging and pleading and groveling, she said she would think about but there would only be a 1% chance she would overturn her grade. I'll take 1% any day since it still leave the possiblity of success open.

Tomorrow, I call the school and await a response. Hopefully, I shall rejoice at hearing that both teachers are on board and that I can graduate after doing what needs to be done.

You Are Scenes From A Memory!