Rip Van Wrinkle

I am sure many of you have considered the possibility that you missed my "services".  Truth be told,  my obituary is still forthcoming. Thankfully so.  Hopefully, that gives me  time to do something interesting enough so that  my final bio isn't a  total snooze-fest relating to it's limited content.  Don't let anyone tell you that it's quantity over quality as far as obituaries go.  I have already lived a lot of years and can't come up with any entertaining synopsis that would entertain those of you that read the obits for fun.

I could just fall on the general excuse "I've been busy." as to my ongoing neglect of my poor blog and that's not necessarily a lie.  I seem to blow through the hours of the day about as fast as e-coli laced chicken travels through intestines but that isn't to say that those hours are made up of fascinating or fun events that I can expect anyone to be entertained or amused by. 

I have come to the realization that this period of my life that is currently lingering between my calling my current employment status as being retired, being unemployed or being a slug isn't eliciting a plethora of fun anecdotes that I can share with you.  Of course,  I could be selling it short on how much you want to hear about how hot Kansas is this year. 

Anyway, as I was saying...I am trying to find balance in my life  just as all generations struggle to do.   Being in charge of all my time sans the dictates of a job leaves a lot of wandering around aimlessly while figuring out  how to keep busy and simultaneously adding things that are productive, fulfilling, engaging, life affirming etc. into the mix along side of  all the mundane chores that have to be done.  Sadly all those pesky things like hygiene, sleep, nourishment, taking care of our homes, etc. don't seem to go away.  Also, we don't get to retire from the obligations.  Now there is a big time suck of a word...obligation.  Another O word might come into play as well that is the word obstacles. Yeah, just when things appear to be smooth sailing some drama-laced crap storm blows in to humble you into realizing you really don't have control of your time at all.

For example....Within days of my last post I was temporarily sidetracked by finding my 17 year old cat laying sprawled on the kitchen floor  appearing lifeless.  As it's not typical for cats to play dead, I was pretty sure that something was "off".   (NOTE:  I totally recognize for you folks out there that aren't "cat people"  this doesn't sound like a bad thing but for us "OMG cats are the BEST" seeing a cat potentially lifeless is a bad thing.)

Anyway...After my initial hysteria, I scooped up my baby and took her to the local vet hospital and she was put into intensive care.  Seriously, I know some of you aren't even believing that is a real thing, but I assure you it is real. There are veterinary ICU units.   Not only are they real but I now realize that this is the most ingenious way to make a living.  Face it...the second a vet tells you that your sweet animal can make a full recovery if given IV's, antibiotics, and maybe some dialysis  (ka-ching) are you really going to say "NO,  let's just watch my kitty die." Well...OK some of you are will say that but the rest of us aren't prepared to pull the plug.  

My Chantel is back to being her pretty self if only in looks. She is not a people person outside of her family.

Needless to say, after my sweet baby got out of the ICU, she required private nursing care provided by "moi" for a couple of weeks and she did get back to her  feisty self.  In fact, she was pretty much back to her usual nastiness (as it applies to any person in our house that she doesn't know and/or approve of),  by the time that we were getting ready to start yet another remodeling project.

Yes, you read that correctly. We are flawed human beings that just can't leave well enough alone.  We invite obstacles into our house and serve them milk and cookies. We know in our heart of hearts that there has never been a problem-free renovation project in the entire span of human existence but still we decide to "just get a quote" to find out what it would take to tear out the old and put in something shiny and new. 

Needless to say that that quote manifested into an actual project...well projects really. Over the  last few months, we  have continued our quest to never be able to recoup the amount of money we have poured into our house.  Had I really died during my absence of blogging, I can only hope that my husband and children would of  turned our freshly updated abode into a mausoleum so I could have continued to stay here long enough to  feel secure in that I got my money's worth out of the new bathrooms and kitchen redo.  I am pretty sure that time span would broach eternity, so perhaps I should, in fact, find out what the zoning rules are to get a conditional use permit for changing our residence into our final resting place. 

I always try to remember that any and all home projects are NEVER going to be without headaches but just as in childbirth, you try to tell yourself somewhere in the future that it wasn't really all that bad and it was so worth the pain.

For future reference I will do my best to remember some profound truths. 

A.  No matter how good the reviews are for a company, assume the company owners paid random family members to be their references.

B.  Realize that at least a half of the workers probably  have no actual talent or knowledge of the job you are having done but the person in charge hired them off the street corner an hour before they strapped on that tool belt and showed up at your door. I am convinced that anyone can look professional given a great tool belt with DeWalt logos within view.  Sadly, looking like a tradesman isn't the same as being a tradesman.

C.  When the company you hire says all the right things, makes endless promises and gives you a speedy time line,  assume that they are telling you  a fairy tale.  It's so beautiful when there is a "happily ever after" at the end of the story but it is becoming my experience that the endings usually seem to be similar to a Tim Burton script.  We may hope that we are going to deal with a Prince Charming but you might have to deal with someone like Beetlejuice or Edward Scissorhands. 


It's not that I don't like the finished product as it pertains to my kitchen,  but I am not entirely convinced the juice is worth the squeeze.  After every promised timeline that came and went unfinished, I became a little more agitated. THEN, when it finally looked like the kitchen was nearing completion, one of the workers dropped a saw that damaged two cabinet doors necessitating that they go back to the shop to be sanded down and re-finished.  Weeks later, after begging and pleading for my cabinet doors to be returned, I was starting to wonder if the doors were never to be seen again.  It's not that I had a particular attachment to those specific doors but the idea of trying to get yet another company that could match them seemed like a big pain in the butt. Not to mention, by this time I had already paid for the cabinets to the company that semi-completed the work and currently seemed OK with keeping both my money and my doors.

Up to that point I had been relying on using tact and politeness as my weapons.  Clearly that wasn't working. So I toyed with other options.

Option 1  ...  Go to the company's listed address and take back what is mine.  I decided against this tactic as I realize stealing back what is yours (allegedly) might land you in jail for 9 years before parole comes to your rescue.  Jail is for real and we have already talked about this in prior posts.  I am not equipped to use a toilet in front of other people.  It's what keeps me honest.

Option 2  ...  Start getting more forceful with my many, MANY text messages.  The last one that I ultimately did NOT send read, "Who must I f*** to get my cabinet doors back?"  I hesitated to send this particular message as I was a little on the fence whether a few of those workers might be into that idea.  Frankly, at least a couple of them didn't appear  like they would to be all that fussy who they  might "do". 

 Finally, I decided to let Hubby take up the gauntlet.  He had been working out of town during the whole kitchen redo debacle so I figured he hadn't become as jaded as I was. 

Basically, I think he made ONE phone call and demanded that they  get off their asses and bring my cabinet doors over ASAP.   Had I known it was just a matter of siccing Hubby on them, I would of done that weeks ago.

So, now I am temporarily back to having some control over my time and my activities before the next obstacle comes my way or before I lose my mind and figure out another activity that will stress and annoy me.


BTW...to all the bloggers that I have let down by not keeping up with you.  I am going to get to yours sites and see how your doing.  Hope all is well and obstacle free.

The Positive Side ot Obsolescence

I was reading an article this morning in the USA Today about all the ageism problems in Silicon Valley. According to the article, while the median age of working Americans is 42, the median age over at Facebook is 29, at Google and Amazon it's 30, at Apple it's 31 and at Microsoft it's 33.  It might not surprise you to know that since 2008 150 of the top tech companies have been sued 226 times in age-related discrimination lawsuits.

In the article, there is a comparison  of modern employment opportunities for anyone over 30 to Logan's Run, a sci-fi movie about a futuristic society in which life ends at 30. That idea was underscored in 2007 when Mark Zuckerberg at 22 told an audience at Stanford University the "Younger people are just smarter...why are all chess masters under 30?"

WHOA!!! That surely wasn't the most intelligent thing to say and I have to assume he is even less intelligent today at 32 (according to his wisdom).

Why should I care, you ask?  What does it matter that Google or Microsoft muckity-mucks consider me to be a dinosaur? It's not that I was planning on job hunting anytime soon as I discussed in a previous post The Tough Questions.  I happen to be quite content with my current state of flux between unemployment and pseudo-retirement.   That pesky problem of not knowing which box to check on questionnaires as to my state of employment isn't going to be solved until survey creators add a box  marked "uninspired" or "unmotivated".


But still... articles like that one in USA Today make my aging brain think maybe I should be checking Consumer Reports on the "recommended" walker that I surely will need sooner rather than later. (Yes, for those of you keeping track, that is the same brain that has taken up swearing.)

As it happens, a lot of things have been cropping up lately to reinforce in a rather nasty way, that I am getting (or have gotten) old. I guess the verb tense would be dependent on my level of pragmatism any given day.

BUT there seems to be an upside to going over the hill.  Free or discounted stuff!  Yes, who knew that there was a financial boost to becoming old?  For the last couple of years there isn't a day that goes by,  that we don't get some offer in the mail, or some "unknown caller" type of phone call and even a random e-mail (or 6) offering us some type of product or service that makes promises to us that our golden years can be  blissful and worry free if we would only buy their product or service. AND if old age related bliss weren't enough.... through their extreme generosity they will provide us a complimentary meal. After which, we get to hear a spiel about the aforementioned bliss inducing product or service. No pressure...just like any other date where there is an expensive dinner involved.  (What?  Not even a kiss???)

All of this has me wondering, though.  How is it that all these companies know our ages?    Is there some mass mailing sent out by the Social Security dept.  that gives the name and phone number of every poor slob in America that is turning 62?  That surely is the case because there seems to be a lot of eager people trying to get my attention as of late. I have to assume it isn't my winning personality that is causing them to reach out to me.

DAILY..and I am not exaggerating here...I get offers of free dinners at local restaurants (for two) for coming in and learning more about estate planning, drawing social security, or learning more about my medicare options.  I find that very interesting  (ironically so) that while I seemingly can RSVP to eat my supper gratis at the Cheesecake Factory and learn all about Social Security...I can't actually make an appointment at the Social Security office.  They don't seem nearly as eager to share my company as ABC Financial Planners are.

While I haven't taken advantage of cashing in on any of these offers of free meals, theater tickets, or assorted "exclusive offers just for me!" enticements... I am considering my options. A good friend of mine and I have been talking about having a free evening out every week from here till death and calling it part of our retirement plan.  But, sadly as I am still very wishy-washy about if I am retired, unemployed or just pathetically lazy, I haven't started my free meal plan quite yet.

 I did however, come to the point after I turned 62 when I thought I might go in to talk to someone and ask some questions about when I might want to start drawing my social security.  After a 4 month wait, I did manage to get an appointment. Of course, that turned out to be a bit of a tricky situation because the man wanted to know if I was retired. Not that a person needs to be retired to draw their Social Security but you do have to limit your earnings. Again, the problem for me is explaining myself. When I say things like  "When you say "retired" do you mean "figuratively" or "literally?" That response just seems to confuse people. 

Anyhow...a year ago  hubby and I thought we would get a head start learning about our options for Medicare as hubby was approaching the time that he could unload his pricey individual medical insurance and take advantage of Medicare. While Medicare isn't free it's about 1/10th the cost of individual insurance. Kaching, Kaching!!  With this in mind, we  decided we would make an appointment to go in to ask about our future Medicare options.  But to our shock and awe.... NO APPOINTMENTS AVAILABLE...none....ever.

 When I mentioned this to a neighbor that is a couple of years older than me, she said she started a year in advance in setting up a face-to-face appointment as someone told her it's like planning a wedding.  If you want to book the venue (and in this case, I am talking about a chair in front of a Social Security clerk) you have to start early and be diligent. Since I had only allowed 4 months, I was SOL on actually securing my spot. Even my numerous tries calling into the 800 number to gain a coveted chair to talk to a real person were met with failure. They did mention numerous times that I could sign up online which is obviously the way to go.  It's not like you get a choice so there is that way .....or yeah...that way. Really, it's not difficult to sign up of Medicare online but gawd forbid if you aren't clear on the A,B, C, D,'s of it all.

I figure by the time I am actually eligible for Medicare, I will have it figured out.  How hard can it be?  

Again with the mail, phone calls and emails offering us free information. This time, however, there was an added element.  We started receiving envelopes and cards that looked "official". Mail started arriving in envelopes that appeared to come from the Federal Government with documents to fill out that looked amazingly "important".  Luckily for me, I have super powers. 

I also can read amazingly small print that says "this is not affiliated to the government"

So....while most days I feel like I am a 30ish year old caught up in an older body, I only have to go to my mailbox for a clear reminder that I won't ever get a chance to work in Silicon Valley....but at least my disappointment will be offset by a free meal at Outback while some Long Term Health Care specialist tells me how blissful my old age is going to be.

Still... I can only hope I live long enough for Zuckerberg to have to try to make an appointment to find out about his Medicare...or Mdca.

(Note to my Canadian, UK and any International readers...Hope I didn't lose you on the Social Security or Medicare discussion.  Do you have some bureaucratic equivalent that you need to take care of at retirement age?)

Studies, Surveys and Polls

Two Thoughts for Tuesday   

Thought Number One....If we are to believe in polls, studies and surveys, we need visuals.


Call me a naysayer....a doubter...a cynic but I am constantly doubting the results of SURVEYS, POLLS and STUDIES.  I like to think of them as modern fairy tales at best or devious attempts to push an agenda at their worst.  A day hardly goes by without some new  study being done to give us some sort of insight to the "real" state of things.  Of course the fact, that the numbers never seem to support whatever our perceptions are regarding the subject cause me a bit of pause.

Well....that was true until I saw this poll.  It seems that the results are entirely what I would have thought as accurate. 
Still, with 60,000 participants, the Parade/OMG poll asked respondents to vote for which celebrity annoys them the most.  The fact that they only shared the top six was a bit of a  disappointment but here are the:

Winners.....drum rolllll, please....The WINNERS ARE!!!!

1. Kim Kardashian 29%
2. Charlie Sheen 27%
3. Snooki 21%
4. Lindsay Lohan 16%
5. Donald Trump 5%
6. Brad Womack 1%

While I don't question the accuracy of their survey, I do think if they want us to take it seriously it is IMPERATIVE that they give us a graph.  What is a poll without a graph of some sort?  If the Parade/OMG wanted to get my attention....it needed to look like this.

 Another example to really bring my 1st thought home....here is another poll that asked older Americans if they thought the level of their happiness depended on their mental health.   The title of the study was:

STANDARD OF LIVING, HEALTH KEY TO EMOTIONAL WELLBEING AFTER 65


This poll was done by the Gallup Poll people

To understand this poll you have to read all the disclosures such as "how to define" emotional health.

Emotionally well-off Americans are individuals whose scores on the Gallup-Healthways Emotional Health Index are above 90, out of a maximum of 100. The Emotional Health Index is based on a comprehensive measure of emotional wellbeing asking individuals whether they felt "a lot of" each of the following emotions the day before the survey: smiling/laughing, learning/doing something interesting, being treated with respect, enjoyment, happiness, worry, sadness, anger, and stress. In addition, the survey asks people whether they have ever been diagnosed with depression.

So to summarize this poll.....Out of those that were surveyed that weren't totally NUTS...39 percent said they were satisfied, 16 percent aren't nuts but  are not happy and the other 55 percent are MISSING.

Feel free to try to figure out the missing at Your Emotional Wellbeing at the Gallup Poll.


My Second Thought for Today....Because I believe in polls (hhahahahahaha)  I will start doing my own totally accurate, you will believe anything, and it must be true because there is a visual, SURVEY


I have surveyed 15 of my dearest friends to answer the following question (for those of you that are finding it incredulous that I have 15 dear friends, you will just have to take my word for it...if it would help I will send you a graph)


The Question is DO YOU THINK THAT WE WILL ALL BE ABLE TO RETIRE WHEN WE ARE STILL ABLE TO FEED OURSELVES AND LIVE OUT OUR LIVES IN CONTENTED BLISS?

The Good for the Day... I experience all the emotions listed on the emotional wellbeing disclosure, especially the stress so therefore I must be OK...right????

The Bad....those missing pollsters are MIA


The Weird...the myriad of subjects that people do polls and surveys about.










 









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