Love From Uncle Carl: A niece who has Down syndrome

Uncle Carl holds Natalia at her naming party.

*This post was first published in 2013. Natty is now 14 and the pair are still close.

Well where do I start with this blog post that my sister asked me to write?

It seems hardly possible that the next few paragraphs will summarise 5 years.  The time has passed so quickly but I can still recall some of the early events as if they were yesterday….

The lead up to Natalia’s birth was, I imagine, as typical as any family.  We were all super excited with the prospect of another member joining us and I was excited about becoming an uncle again.  Many trips were made to my sister's house to help out looking after Mia, and we enjoyed planning for the future over many meal times.  

I will start my story from when I first heard the unexpected news...

Bob phoned me on my mobile and I was sitting at my desk at work. It was around 3pm and I remember him saying that Hayley had had the baby, she was a girl.  And in his very typical softly spoken voice, which I can still hear to this day, he said she had Down's Syndrome.  My first reaction was disbelief and I questioned his comment, almost thinking he was joking.  When I look back, I realise how silly this was, but now feel that my reaction was because this sort of thing happens to other people…. (4 years previously a work colleague had a son with Down's and I remember vividly thinking I hope that doesn’t happen to me.  I moved from the company and so did not follow the progress of his son.   My perception has obviously changed since then.)

After putting the phone down from Robert I remember feeling in total shock. I stayed at work for another hour at the most and drove home.  On the way home one of my closest friends called me, as usual for a chat during our commute.   He asked how I was and I attempted to tell him that my sister’s new daughter had been born with Down's Syndrome, but I couldn’t.  I burst into tears and just couldn’t talk.  The feeling was of disappointment I guess, and immense worry for what the future would bring.  This child was not 'healthy', or 'normal', which is what everyone says when a baby is born.  We have a disability in the family.  These were the thoughts running through my mind.  When I think back this was purely because I knew nothing about this condition and so I was speculating…  My friend tried to chat but I ended up pulling over and putting the phone down.  I sat in a layby until I could control my tears and then drove home.

Down's Syndrome: Sally smacks medics between the eyes with screening truths

Sally Phillips addresses 4000 at the Royal College of Gynaecologists World Congress 2019

Sally Phillips is one incredible woman who has endured more than her fair share of front row hecklers, not just as a comedy actor, but also when she created the brave and thought-provoking BBC Documentary A World Without Down's with film maker Clare Elizabeth Richards. It got everyone talking about the thorny topic of screening. And more crucially the even pricklier topic of 'screening out' babies with Down's syndrome.

"The right words at the right time 

to the right people"

3 years on and Sally's film afforded her the opportunity to speak to 4000 obstetricians and gynaeclogists from all across the globe. I am proud to be able to share the transcript below. 

What to Say When a Baby is Born with Down's Syndrome

 

So, you hear the news that someone in your family, a close friend or an acquaintance has given birth to their baby. Wonderful news!  

But within seconds you are told that the baby has Down's syndrome.  

"Oh.... "

Baby Natty 

There follows a mixture of disbelief, shock, stunned silence, anger, hurt, disappointment, perhaps a feeling that a sixth sense told you so or a desire to 'fix things'. Maybe perhaps if you are young you just don't understand and those of us who are older in years might have a clear visual image of what we expect it to mean based on stereotypes. 

However, if you already know and love someone with Down's syndrome, you will have a sense that this is not the end of the world, that you will gently guide and support this family.

So what do you say and do?
Before Natty was born I had never been in this position in my life... But I can say with equal measures of honesty that we probably experienced the full gamut of reactions from those within our social circle in the weeks immediately following Natty's arrival. This is what worked for us...

Everyone is different of course, and this is never truer than in matters of pregnancy and birth, but whatever thoughts and emotions you are experiencing as onlookers, the parents will have already gone through them 100 fold.  Yes, all of those feelings.

Try our conversation starter cards from Fink

1)  Don't be afraid to say something  
This is where Natty's entrance into the world really sorted the wheat from the chaff amongst friends.  Longstanding friends didn't know what to say and soon disappeared, awkward and embarrassed.  Those we'd got to meet relatively recently stepped up to the mark, supported, helped, offered childcare and cooked meals during our never-ending trips to the hospital.  Family drove through the night to meet her, also in shock, but there for us all.

The Wise and Respected Godmother says that when people are in crisis you must never be afraid to talk to them.  If your words are meant with kindness, even if you don't quite say the right thing, you can't make them feel any worse than they do already.  The only way is up and knowing that you care will help.

A shaky start for Natty in the Special Care Baby Unit

2)  Congratulate the family on the arrival of a beautiful new person in the world!
My husband popped the cork on the bottle of bubbly we had bought in advance of our baby's arrival.  We toasted our daughter who lay in an incubator in intensive care that night, even though that was the last thing we really felt like doing.

Send a card of congratulations (not condolences please!) and a small gift for the baby to have near her if she is in hospital, buy a pack of toiletries or wholesome snacks for parents spending many hours in hospital or purchase a pretty coolbox for mums transporting breast milk to and from hospital twice a day.

Ask to see the baby or a photograph, ask if she has a name yet, how much she weighs, how the birth went, in fact anything you would ordinarily ask any new parent.

Our neighbours bought us a gift of a beautiful rose to plant in the garden, called 'Congratulations'.  It has survived house moves and harsh Winters and still makes me pause for thought whenever it blooms.

3)  Be realistic
When people acknowledged the challenges ahead of us and our early feelings of desperation, it made us take their words so much more seriously.  Over-optimism can be very insincere after all.  Understand that the parents are possibly grieving the loss of the healthy baby they were expecting.

The midwife who said "None of us want this for our children, but she is beautiful, and you will cope." was one I came to trust the most.

Another who countered my "I don't want to love her because I am afraid she's going to die," with "That baby needs your love my dear, whether she lives or dies.  So get to that hospital and give it to her."  was so very wise and true.

"It will be hard but I will help when I can."  
"She is looking a little stronger/better than when I saw her last."  
"I can't imagine how you feel...."  all delivered with hugs from friends.

But be prepared for any advice you give to be ignored.  If I had a pound for every time someone gave me the number of the lady who runs the local Down's Syndrome Support Group I could have paid for a lifetime of private Speech and Language Therapy for Natty.  

In fact it took me 2 years to contact her (she is a dear friend now), but we still remain rather a private family (believe it or not!) and do not join in many organised group activities. Each family will work at their own pace.

And I didn't once ever contact any friends of friends whose phone numbers were passed my way simply because their children had the same number of chromosomes as mine, prefering instead to make friendships with those who would have been in my life regardless of having a child with Down's syndrome or not.

Our book for children I Love You Natty

4)  Avoid outdated language and clichés
Just say the baby 'has' Down's syndrome and avoid outdated terms which shall remain unmentioned here. 

She is a baby first and foremost.  She will have the features and traits of her family before those of any other child with Down's syndrome.  She will follow their path, learn their traditions and values, and be dressed the way they want her to.

She is in the here and now.  Don't ask endless questions about ante-natal testing or refer to the idea that perhaps she shouldn't have been born. (You might also want to avoid mentioning the mother's age or the state of her eggs!  One of the loveliest DS Mums I know was 18 when her little girl was born...)  

I actually don't mind people asking "Did you have testing?"  It's the "Didn't you have testing then?" that is hard to swallow...the subtext being that if we had, she wouldn't be here of course.

And as for being musical and loving... just come round and listen to Natty sing along to Little mix at the top of her lung's capacity these days, you might just change your mind!

For unbiased advice that covers all bases, you can't do better than read the free Start It Right leaflets published by the Down's Syndrome Association.


PS)   This is not number 5) because it is not advice
Perhaps it's just the way I am, but  reverse psychology worked pretty well on me.  I can clearly remember 2 pieces of shockingly negative input from 2 separate individuals.  So shocking and so negative that they made me sit up and think, ''Right, you'll see!"...

The first was from the kind of jovial midwife that wafts through your space shortly after the news has been given to you about your baby's diagnosis.  When asked by my doula what we should do about the breast milk (meaning - how to get it into the baby) she replied "Oh, don't worry about that, it'll soon dry up after the shock she's had today."

Natty's first taste of breastmilk whilst in Neo-natal Intensive Care

So breastfeed I did, the same way I fed her sister.
It took 3 months before the naso-gastric tubes came out and what felt like a 24/7 expressing regime, but we mastered it together, Natty and I.

The second was from an acquaintance who (perhaps speaking from personal experience) offered, "You don't have to keep her you know. You can just say goodbye, nice knowing you..."

I might have been waivering on whether I could cope or not, but this made me realise that I wanted to give it my best shot and that regardless of my shock, I didn't want to watch someone else become my baby's mother.

I promised my baby at that moment to do the very best I could for her at all times. Sometimes it isn't perfect, but it is always my best. 

The birth of any of your children should not be by far and away the most challenging day of your life.  
But for so many of us it is.  I wish with all my heart I could go back in time and re-live that day, knowing what I know now. I can't of course, all I can do now is share our story to make things better for others, to buy them precious bonding time with their newborn babies. 

Simply the right words, actions and attitudes has the power to set new families on the right path.  

How language shapes our thinking: Hayley speaking at TedxTruro. Photo @VerityWestcott

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Advice For Medical Staff Giving the Postnatal Diagnosis
The way in which the diagnosis of Down's syndrome is communicated is often done in a dissatisfactory manner.

The firm diagnosis of Down's syndrome on phenotypic grounds is usually possible immediately after delivery.  It is essential to inform the parents, at least of your suspicions, as soon as possible after delivery.

The Delivery Suite diagnosis of Down's syndrome should follow this plan:

1. As soon as the baby is delivered congratulate the parents on the birth of their child.
2. Advise them whether the baby is healthy or not and explain any immediate resuscitative procedures you are performing.
3. As soon as third stage is complete and the baby is stabilised, ensure that you can have some time alone with both parents and the baby. Many parents will already have sensed an apprehensive atmosphere in these few minutes. A midwife who has been involved with the delivery may be an invaluable support.
4. State your clinical diagnosis and, if necessary, your degree of certainty. An opening statement could be: "She looks very healthy but I have some news for you that you might not have been expecting. Your baby has Down's syndrome." You should be touching the baby as you say this and using her name, indicating your acceptance of the child. No new parent wants their doctor to treat their baby with repugnance.
5. After dealing with any immediate denial statements from the parents, it is necessary to evaluate their understanding of the diagnosis ("What do you understand by the term Down's syndrome?"). It may become evident that they have little knowledge about the condition or they are weighed down with myths and misunderstandings. These should be corrected carefully.
6. It is impractical to fully educate the parents of a baby with Down's syndrome immediately after delivery. Enough information should be given so as to answer their immediate questions and support them until later in the day when more detailed discussions can take place. Immediate information should include a synopsis of the aetiology of the syndrome, a defusing of either parent "blaming" the other, and a description of investigations and procedures which are necessary to fully evaluate the child's health.
7. A complete discussion of the diagnosis should take place once the parents are at least partially recovered from the immediate stress of delivery, usually within twenty four hours. By this time there will be a barrage of questions which will need to be answered accurately and adequately. Every effort should be made to have both parents at this meeting. Again the child should be present as the focus of the discussions and should be held by the parents. It is still too early to overload the parents with every minute fact so there is a need to be sensitive to their particular rate of uptake of these new and complex concepts.
8. Do not try to be to predictive. It is nonsense to try to foresee the future for any child with accuracy. Perpetuating myths such as "at least he'll always be loving and enjoy music" is inexcusable. A "broad brush" picture should be painted which recognises every child's capacity to develop individually.
9. Family and friends can be a source of great support but they may also need information and education. The Down's Syndrome Association offers ongoing support to parents of babies with Down's syndrome, including support from parent who have had a child with Down's syndrome.
10. It may be helpful for relations to bring in photos of the parents as neonates. This allows the parents to compare the baby's facial characteristics with their own and see that it is their baby, not a "Down's baby".
11. Most doctors understand the parents' need to have time alone but also to feel confident in approaching the doctor at any time for more information. An open-door policy is essential. When a case of Down's syndrome is delivered, a child is born. This simple fact is so often overlooked in the storm of emotional upheaval that the new mother and father are rarely congratulated on becoming parents. One mother was even sent an "In Sympathy" card the day after she delivered a healthy baby who had Down's syndrome . Less than thirty years ago some Australian doctors used to advise their patients to place their Down's syndrome babies in institutions and tell their relations they had been stillborn. Although this sort of approach no longer exists, very occasionally the parents of a newborn with Down's syndrome will decide that, for whatever reason, they are unable to accept the child. In this situation the options include foster care or adoption and it is obviously not a decision to be taken lightly. The doctor's role is again that of an informed counsellor, not a judge.
    
    The process of coming to terms with having given birth to a child with Down's syndrome has been likened to the well-known grief reaction which occurs after the death of a child. Stages such as denial, anger, acceptance, for example, are recognisable and parents are said to be grieving for the loss of their expected "perfect" child. While this view has some small merit, it fails to address the long term and varying nature of the readjustment process in the case of the family of a child with Down's syndrome. After all, the child has not died.

The Roar Behind the Silence: Maternity Care Book review

The Roar Behind the Silence

Why kindness, compassion and respect matter in maternity care

One of the areas that writing Downs Side Up has led me into, is working with many wonderful medical professionals, including midwives. I have been invited to speak at many training events and conferences, and I'm always extremely proud to do so. You see, most of us are working towards the same aim, excellent support of women and the safety of them and their babies. These incredible, compassionate professionals are always keen to learn from the parents' experiences and build on areas that need improvement. 

Kindness   Compassion   Respect

Learn to Expect the Unexpected When You're Expecting

I firmly believe most Mums-to-be have rose-tinted expectations of what pregnancy, birth and beyond is going to be like. So what are the realities of motherhood? What did I wish I had known before our family expanded? What's it really like to have a baby...?

Being something of an eternal student, I approached my first pregnancy in much the same way as a very exciting and practical college course. Books on ovulation, conception, pregnancy, nutrition, exercise, breathing, visualisation, birth, and beyond lined my shelves. I read and devoured the facts within their pages as if memorising them would help me gain the planned top grades in the final assessment.

New Dad Talks about Life with Down Syndrome

A few months ago I recieved a beautiful email from Matt's wife Laura. It was the sort of email that makes me realise that I am not writing into a vacuum and that DSU is achieving what I set out to do, to support new parents, let them see that life with Down's syndrome will go on pretty much the same as it did before, only better, despite the health setbacks. I never share emails or comments that are sent privately, but Matt has penned this piece especially for you dear reader. Meet the Horsnells:

I’m new to this…

October is Down’s Syndrome Awareness Month in the US, and many people, some of whom I’ve got to know remotely over the past 8 or so months, have been penning excellent blogs focussing on what DS is, and what life is like for children and adults with DS, and for their friends and families.

One of these people is Hayley Goleniowska. I’ve not yet had the pleasure of meeting Hayley and her family, and the chances are that I would not have even heard of Hayley but I have. I have for two reasons.

The first is because my daughter, Ada, who was born in February this year, was diagnosed postnatally with Down’s Syndrome. Like most couples expecting their second child we were excited, fairly relaxed, and slightly anxious about the onset of life with two children under two. I was expecting a little less sleep, possibly some jealousy from our eldest having to share her mum and dad for the first time, and another couple of months of intense nappy changing.

What I wasn’t expecting was that our baby would be born with DS. Not that it is relevant, but since everyone asks (and please do stop asking parents of new babies) we did have the run-of-the-mill screening, we were considered low risk, and I should imagine like most people we didn’t think anymore of it.

I didn’t even think about it when our baby was born. The birth was incredibly smooth, labour seemed easy enough (from where I was sat!), and Ada was delivered into the world with her amniotic sack intact, something the midwife instantly told us was good luck.

Looking back now, I’m not sure if I started to suspect that something was wrong during the night or during the next day as we were waiting for the all clear to leave the hospital. Her hearing was fine and she’d had some basic tests. Then there was some scuffling by the midwives that they were waiting for someone to listen to Ada’s heart again, as there was a suspicion of a murmur.

What followed, predictable though it is as you read this, came as such a shock to us. 

We were told that our daughter in all likelihood had Down’s Syndrome.

I have never and probably will never feel again the gut wrenching, heart aching flush that took over me in that moment. I could probably tell you exactly what all the doctors, nurses and midwives were wearing, who was standing where and what was still left to pack into our hospital bag such is clarity of the moment when we were told. I won’t dwell on it here, suffice it to say that we were told it straight. It even made some sense when they said it, after all our baby had seemed a little weaker this time, she’d not latched on very well, there was some concern that her eyes were a little puffy and she became incredibly dry during the night.

Looking back, I’m not sure if it was my ignorance to the facts, or that I was suppressing something that I didn’t want to accept. Either way I have never had the earth pulled from under me so quickly as I did that day.

In the hours, days and weeks that followed I did my best to try and understand what Down’s Syndrome really is and what the realities for my daughter were. We are incredibly lucky to have a loving family who really rallied around. My sister and her husband in particular had, to my on-going pride, been very involved with Scope and Mencap for some years and so instantly knew in which direction to point us. We had soon located the very aptly named, Cambridge Baby and Children with Down Syndrome Support Group, and I’d received a second hand copy of Andrew Merriman’s A Minor Adjustment through the post, sadly it is out of print. [A Minor Adjustment has just been released on Kindle - H]

The other source of information we had during the early weeks were blogs, which leads me on to the second and true reason that we have heard of Hayley. Hayley is such a strong advocate for Down’s Syndrome and it was probably through a google search of “Down’s Syndrome Support Blog” that we found DownsSideUp.

Although I had been able to read the literature the hospital had given us, and had managed to read most of the Down Syndrome Association's website for new parents, it was Hayley's blog which instantly struck a chord with my wife Laura. 

Laura had been unable to read anything about DS in hospital until I read her Hayley’s posts. Hayley, like us has two daughters, seemed genuinely nice and was actually getting on with living. I read many of her posts to Laura and we cried out loud together, partly through realisation that we were not alone, not unique, and partly because her blog offered hope, and happy photos and stories as well as facts.

Like Hayley and many, many parents we had our initial problems. Ada had very dry cracked skin, for which we were prescribed pure sunflower oil, olive oil brought her out in a rash, yes we experimented! We had 5 weeks of feeding through a nasal-gastric tube, which was tricky at the best of times, and incredibly, arm achingly slow, but Ada was feisty and really didn’t want the tube in. So, despite being desperate to get out of the hospital after our 8 day marathon just a few days earlier, we started then what has become regular trips to Addenbrooke’s Hospital.

This an extract from an email I sent to my family at the time that sums it up well:

“Ada discharged from neonatal care, as all going well, and had put on another 100g on Wednesday (@25gms/day) so we’re up to 7.5lbs. Now responsibility of health visitor and early years support team.

Lots of appointments arranged... genetic counselling, foetal medicine counselling, counselling, physiotherapy, speech therapy, bonding and attachment therapy, portage, ophthalmologist, heart scan, hip scan, repeat thyroid, baby massage, child development team and last but not least the standard six week check next week."

Fortunately things have calmed down since then and Ada is now nearly 9 months old.

She loves going to Yoga with Mummy, and she started swimming lessons with me a month ago. She is happy and healthy and is the apple of her sister’s eye, who quite often states with pride “You is the best friend for me ever!”. Ada was fully breast fed for 6 months and is now enjoying solids too. She is sitting and just this week started to clap.

We’ve been on a family holiday and, albeit small-scale to the Norfolk Broad’s this year, we’re determined to tackle flying abroad next year if we can. We’ve been camping at a music festival and we’re just about to move house. 

I mention all this, because we nearly lost sight of it all 9 months ago. It just didn’t seem possible. How very wrong we were.

Matt Horsnell - Ada's Daddy
 @maver on twitter

Reader's Guest Post by my birth companion Katinka Soetens

This guest post is so very dear to me. It is written by someone I respect enormously. Katinka is the most beautiful woman who Bob and I were blessed to have been able to invite to be present at the births of both Mia and Natalia. 

Both births had their surprises; Mia was an undiagnosed breech until the last moment that we had no choice but to deliver naturally and Natty was born at home in a calm, planned way. Of course she brought with her her own surprises, her blue stillness being what I recall most vividly.

I have asked Katinka over the years to tell me what she can about that day. How she helped us through the shock, I always wondered what she knew and witnessed in the lead up to Natty's diagnosis being delivered many hours later in the hospital.

Here she writes so lovingly about that time. I cannot read this without crying, and we thank her for helping to put us on the right path in those early few hours. H x

Sometimes life brings you the opportunity to really feel what it is to surrender and trust.

Not from a place of fear, but from a deep knowing that the perfection of the soul’s journey in this life follows a greater plan then our day to day perception usually gives us the view of. Once felt and experienced, it becomes obvious that all there is to do, is to be fully present. To trust and to let go of attachment to outcome, so that we act as is needed in each moment, in flow with this greater plan.

Natalia’s birth was one of these magic opportunities for me.

We as people are all so lucky to have the ability to experience being a part of a community, part of a wider “family”, sometimes brought together by what seems like chance, but which, when it really matters in the moments when life is about as real as it gets, gives unquestionable support and opens in us all the chance to grow as human beings.

Hayley had asked me to be her doula for the birth of her second baby, a planned home birth, after having been with her and Bob at the birth of their first beautiful daughter Mia. I was delighted and honoured to do so. Over the last months of pregnancy we’d worked in birth preparation classes, held in the homes of the small group of women seeking natural birth awareness and preparation, and a close bond had begun to form between us all. We’d shared fears and joys, breathing and stretching exercises, helped each other to relax and drop into the deeper listening to the body that is part of this women’s work. Hayley and myself had been in regular communication in the weeks leading up to the birth, all midwife checks were fine and all seemed well.

So it was that the call came, that 5^th December night, (St. Nicolas’, patron saint of children, and evening of gifts for all Dutch people) a new life was about to come into the world, as Hayley was in labour.

As Doula and Natural Active Birth teacher I had been in the very fortunate position for many years to witness and hold space for the sacred process that is giving birth.

Not only is the natural physiological and emotional process of labour an opening to life manifesting through us into being, a place where we get to remember our essence as the force of nature and creation, but it offers the change to experience how, in the depth of our greatest vulnerability we also get to touch our greatest power. The illusion of the separation or dualism between the two can fall away. Helpless as we may feel to alter the flow of the birth process, despite all best laid plans and preparation, when the inevitable ‘it bit’ moment of labour comes, most woman, especially when well supported, find a surrender to what is happening and the trust to go within and be the power of life itself. It is both humbling and empowering in equal measures.

Part of my preparation for attending birth would be to pray to Goddess to guide me and protect mother and baby, and call into myself that part of me which is ‘midwife’, ‘wise woman who is with’. As usual, I felt her arrive in my body, in my hands, as the voice which knows what to do or say, while I was driving over to Hayley and Bob’s home that evening.

There was a fine flow to the birth dance, the house warm and nest like, Bob caring and looking after us, different birth spaces prepared and family and midwife on standby. At one stage Hayley was restless, a disquiet as if something needed to happen or was not right. Not knowing what to do in that moment, I prayed and the message I got was that all was as it should be and all that was needed from me was to hold and love Hayley.

So when Natalia was born a few hours later in the bathroom, blue and beautiful, and it was obvious that all was not as we had hoped, this was all there was to do for the Doula: to love and hold, to trust the unfolding journey. To hold for Bob, somehow, bravely, out in the cold early morning light in shorts and t-shirt, waiting to guide the ambulance into the drive. For the panicking midwife trying to get that baby going, who needed the support of the not yet arrived 2^nd midwife. For Hayley, courageous amazing woman, on the threshold of a life-change none of us had quite fathomed yet, and for this new baby, fighting to be in that little body. How do you help, love or hold in a situation like that?

Tuning in to you, little Natalia, in that moment when you were still between the worlds, you felt so calm, sure of your path, so strong, so perfect, and I knew that all would be well that day, despite the birth-scene we were all a part of in that moment. You gave me a sense of peace that I was able to hold in my body and for those around me.

Later, when the 2^nd midwife, who was a friend of mine having been my own midwife at the birth of my children, exchanged glances with me on the way down to the cars and ambulances, I knew she too suspected the truth behind Natalia’s blue arrival into the world, and she too knew that all there was to do was to love and hold, to surrender to the perfection of this family’s story.

And later still, when, after what felt like waiting for an unnecessary age in Treliske hospital, the clumsy  doctor gave the news we were all by now expecting: Natalia was born with Down’s syndrome, the almost unbearable privilege of being allowed to be present to the deep soul journey into love this news initiated in both Hayley and Bob. What a gift you were from the beginning Natalia!

If you are asked to be a part of the life journey of someone when it matters, especially around the times of initiation, which birth and death are the most prominent of, don’t shy away, don’t allow your own fear to deprive you of a perfect opportunity. You do not have to know what to do or say, as long as you are authentic in your expression of that not knowing.  All you really need is the commitment to surrender, and be with, to stay present and to love, no matter what. No need for clever planned programs or road maps, anything can and will happen along the way. You may feel lost, it will feel too big, and yes, yes! You can do this in your own unique way. And what amazing treasure and lessons the gifts of taking the journey are. You will be changed for ever!

The rest of the story is history as they say. Throughout it all Natalia and her family have given me such unbelievable teachings on living love and surrendering to the perfection of our soul’s journey, I am for ever grateful for the gift of knowing them.

Thank you Hayley and Bob, Natalia and Mia, for asking me to be part of your special birth journey, part of our lives entwining. Thank you for all the love you make shine in the word and for changing perceptions of what perfection might be or look like where ever you go.

Love and Blessings

Katinka