Dunc and those shoores soote

[Dunc]

Donner - time you moved to Australia, then? McNeil would certainly love it ...

Roge - thanks for the thumbs up!

Liz - glad you enjoyed it.

Paula - delighted to see you here again! And that you and Faust get on.

Mike - thanks for the input.

cookie - more thanks for the kind words.

FOgFE - glad you enjoyed it.

Thanks, folks - I genuinely appreciate your dropping by.




6 April 2006



CHEAP JOKES DAY


I

MISSED

Her loveliness was rare. I knew
her grip, her squeeze, her touch.
- You left her. Did she miss you?
Yes, but not by much.




II

She drives around forever but they’re rare;
and when she finds one, why is it left free?
Is it illegal? Broken bottles there?
A haunt of vandals or a bird-shit tree?

Or else she stops and blocks the moving lane
thinking the present occupant leaves - when? -
while everybody murmurs, Who's that pain!

It strikes her parking spaces are like men.

[cookala]

G'Day, Dunc! hah! your thread is turning out to be such fun! and forever from this day on when I see a car parked under a tree I shall think oh, it's under a "bird-shit tree", and you know what that means. heh.

[solar_third]

Hi Dunc,

I haven't much time here before bed, suffice to say that I've only managed to read as far as #1 and thought it vastly amusing. 'still teeth like teak' hah! I liked the ending - it was nicely thought-out for a day's work. Hats off.

Be back at some point,

S_T

[Dunc]

cookie - more thanks! I flourish in the energy you lend!

solar - glad you enjoyed it.

Thanks for dropping by. Regards / Dunc




7 April 2007




ALEXANDRIA

You’d passed out, mate - you missed it. Round midnight
this pageant blared past, maenads and music, funeral, festival,
banging through the city. But when we staggered out, we saw
just the square in moonlight. The unseen carnival
paraded to the gate - then rising, trailed to the fiery stars.

Bloody Dionysos again. He’s leaving Antony
who leads the rite, aping the god in fetching panther skins
and sucking the queen’s tits as psalms of public praise.
He’s quit him and gone home. He’s sick of Parthias
and Actiums, and this, the final fuckup.

Look up there - Antony watches Octavian
and the thousand braziers where the legions camp;
watches his wine-cup drain and Cleopatra wangle;
watches the dark that comes for his name, his children;
watches the buttocks of the passing slaves.

[prokopton]

Dunc,
I had a good giggle here. It reminds me of Pericle's Legacy I wrote last year, because of the common man's POV of the doings of the mighty and famous. Sobering stuff, better we should have another Talisker, I think.

ffoGe

[Pearl]

It strikes her parking spaces are like men.

Why, isn't it an accepted truth? ;-)


Like also your latest entry, the point of view chosen, the ironic closing stanza ( close observation).

Paula

[Dunc]

ffoeG - I'd forgotten your footnote to Perikles. Good fun to re-read it.

Paula - an accepted truth? You're doubtless correct - it's just us blokes that don't get to hear of these things till later.

Thanks, guys / Dunc



8 April 2006



CLEO AND ME

You say that cute Queen Cleopatra, Will,
can never be the object of satiety.
Age, you assert, can’t wither - better still,
custom can’t stale her infinite variety.

I’m churning April poems, in suit or pj’s,
and, Will, a poem a day’s too little time. Oh,
I'm forced too often back on my own clichés
as you would yours, if you’d done NaPoWriMo.

So I’ll bet fifty, Will, that even Cleo
would prove here no more various than a trio.




And I'll throw this in for nothing -



James the Second
Trevelyan reckoned
ended up in the trench
from preferring French.

[amaranthus]

Lots of good stuff here, Dunc.

First Wife (#3) is compact and witty, I'm not sure how you stuffed so much bitterness into so few lines.

I love the relaxed pace of Starburst (#4) , it might be my favorite. I didn't recognize it as a sonnet at first because the language was so natural and the rhymes were simply perfect. I was especially impressed with how you made lines like "apart together, together apart" and "though any present tense of yours and mine" work. I'm sure there's a lesson in them, now I just need figure out what it is.

I giggled at both your Cheap Jokes (#6), and particularly enjoyed the sharp turn of the first.

Alexandira's my other favarorite. The Rosencrantz and Guildenstern perspective is fun. The details and the sounds in S1 are terrific. "Fetching panther skins" has got to be the best modifier noun combo I've seen this month. The closing perspective with N and his buddy looking physically up and metaphorically down on Anthony is inspired.

I'm looking forward to more.
Carol

[cookala]

Heya, Dunc. Forsoothe, still at it, eh? flourish! flouish! esp liked athe sounds and s3 of Alexandria. very nice, that. and I got a good chuckle from Cleo. wonderful! me want more!

[ADK]

Hi Dunc,
I'm enjoying the humor of your thread. Wish that were an ability of mine.

Starburst is probably my favorite, a real haunted feeling is evoked.

ADK

[HowardM2]

I'm way behind and trying to catch up:


PLATOLAND

You have an aerial in your head
that used to let you send and receive
communications with Platoland.

Platoland’s where the Perfections fled
when you became too smart to believe
they existed somewhere near at hand,

although they’d still talk to you, it’s said,
and point out flaws in what you’d perceive
as flawless. They helped you understand

why nothing is absolute. Instead
you push on inductively, and leave
Ideals voiceless in Platoland.

Your aerial rusts unused. You’re sure
you can’t use Perfections any more.

A rimas dissolutas sonnet. Well done.

Loved the Faustus, too.

[prokopton]

ffoeG - I'd forgotten your footnote to Perikles. Good fun to re-read it.


CLEO AND ME

You say that cute Queen Cleopatra, Will,
can never be the object of satiety.
Age, you assert, can’t wither - better still,
custom can’t stale her infinite variety.

I’m churning April poems, in suit or pj’s,
and, Will, a poem a day’s too little time. Oh,
I'm forced too often back on my own clichés
as you would yours, if you’d done NaPoWriMo.

So I’ll bet fifty, Will, that even Cleo
would prove here no more various than a trio.

uh huh, Napo's getting to ya, eh?
Still and all this is worthy, your technique is keeping you in the event.

fGeof

[pimpy moon]

** Swoosh, woosh, ra ra ra **

Dunc, are you or are you not showing off? They should have had you up on the big screen at the Commonwealth Games' closing ceremony instead of Dame Edna. Your thread's a cracker of a read so far. 'Alexandria' is my favourite, if I had to pick one, but I don't, so I like them all, so there.


Vanda
who doesn't really know how to wield pom-poms appropriately

[Dunc]

Carol - All kind words are welcome, of course. Many thanks for the reviews.

cookie - Wow! Thanks for calling again.

ADK - Nice to see you here. I appreciate the input.

Howard - Good of you to drop in. Delighted you found things to enjoy.

ffeoG - I love the inference that NaPo's NOT getting to you. Take it Mr Cool!

Vanda - Yo! The trick with the pom-poms is always to keep one or other covering your - ah, you know that already.



Thanks, folks! / Dunc





9 April 2006



GHOST STORY, CHAPTER 9

In the holes between the street-lights
the senses fail; the seeping mist
is blind and silent, the lamps
are tiny motes of blue. Must reach
the car.

Behind,
sounds of dragging.

Touches metal
vertical and clammy -
the tram! - and fingertips
along the side.
The sound again.
- Calm now; not to run -
wide-eyed in the black.

The car. The door.
He cries out as it opens,
his calf ripped with savagery,
and the feeble light falls
on a dog;

not just a dog - his dog,
Benson, blood-mouthed,
tearing at his leg;

no, not Benson - just
Benson’s head,
determined at the neck.

[shadygrove]

Heh. Since my last two were a can't-write-another-poem and a Hamlet poem, I'm feeling a lot of empathy for "Cleo and Me." Your one-offs are always spot-on, Dunc.

I'm not sure what to make of the doggie nightmare; certainly a wonderfully spooky, gory tale, but I suspect I'm missing something. What is it?