Stronger Than Hate

I've been thinking about the tremendous amount of sadness in the news lately from around the world. There are big things like war, famine, and blatant violations of human rights happening all the time.

Isn't that last comment enough to make you sick? These issues are so common we're not even phased when we hear about them.

Hate and indifference fuel these disastrous situations.

It's Personal
I've discovered over the years that I have a tremendous amount of influence in my life when it comes to hate. 

Sometimes the hate is subtle in the workplace...a quiet joke about someone who might be gay, or a crass comment about a female leader who is driving change. And the room is filled with a mix of nervous laughter and heads facing toward the floor.

Why is it that difference becomes a threat? 

Why is it that so many "professionals" don't realize that they are showing their true feelings when these not-so-subtle comments are made publicly? Seriously, when I hear these things I now react to them...and simultaneously lose all respect for the person saying it. 

I may have to work with you, but I will never cut you any slack again. Ever.

It's Serious
What strikes me as the ultimate in ironies is that the leaders that make crude comments about race, gender and sexuality also expect to be treated with the utmost respect. Ha! Good luck with that one.

"The same people often use religion as their cannon fodder for hate. I'm not a biblical scholar, but I don't recall Jesus saying 'let the white christian straight children come to me.' He actually invited all children to join him."

It's a shame so many leaders today fail to appreciate that message.

How About You
The world is changing...albeit slowly. No longer will the generation that is going to dominate the world of work accept these bigoted and outdated behaviors. Not to mention the legal infrastructure that is finally catching up to a civilized view of the world that treats all people with respect.

It's time for each of us to evaluate the words we use, and the challenges we make to these tired and embarrassing comments in the workplace. Stand up and let your voice be heard.

I'd love to hear from you.

No Excuses.



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I Am the Option

There are very few issues that I can't process a bit before responding. I may have a strong reaction on the inside, but I try not to let it show on the outside...at least not right away. That wouldn't be fair to the others involved, and it certainly wouldn't be fair to those who expect me to lead in a measured and thoughtful way.

Except for one thing.

In that case there's no processing, no calculated responses, no nervous laughter as I try to figure out my next move. When I hear, or see, or experience these moments the gloves are off and I'm all in.

See It

I see it...I hear it...the jokes...the good 'ol boy comments...the underlying messages about race, LGBT persons, and the role of women; which is quickly followed with some sort of twisted justification as to why they should be treated differently (read here --> like second-class citizens.)

Sadly even some companies, political "leaders", and countries take pride in their public attacks on other human beings who happen to be different from the "majority."

I'm here to tell you that kind of hatred doesn't work for me. Whether it's hiding behind "faith" or using subtle innuendos that degrade others. It's still hate. It's not being rude, or crass, or flip.

 

It's hate.

Feel It

What happens to you when you are confronted with these embarrassingly misinformed and juvenile behaviors? Does your heart rate pick up speed? Do you feel the pressure in the room change to something almost oppressive because everyone knows it's wrong?

Do you know in that specific moment it's time to strike back and lead? Or, for you is it time to welcome the familiar nervous laughter back for another appearance and hope the topic of conversation changes quickly?

My reaction is all too familiar now. I must confront the bigot. Nervous laughter is no longer an option. Hoping for someone else to step in is no longer an option.

I am the option.

How About You

Consider the choices you make in your life. Who is part of your inner circle? What leaders do you follow? What companies do you support? Do their behaviors align with your values? When you are confronted with these behaviors again, consider the most effective option that is available --> you.

You are the option too.

I'd love to hear from you.

No Excuses. 

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The Center of the Universe

“Wherever men and women are persecuted because of their race, religion, or political views, that place must - at that moment - become the center of the universe.”

- Elie Wiesel

 

 

Take a moment and think about the issues that you've known about for some time but just haven't taken action on yet.

 

Whether those issues are blatant, subtle, intentional or not; would you perhaps identify some part, or someone, in your organization that should become the center of your workplace universe?

 

What are you going to do now?

 

I'd love to hear from you.

 

No Excuses.

 

 

 

photo credit

 

 

Moment of Silence

There it was again. That nervous laughter when someone in a leadership role made an innuendo about race. The last time it was about being gay. What follows is always the same...an awkward moment of silence, and then the nervous laughter of those sitting around the table feeling compelled to join in, but obviously hating the moment.

The 1970's Were Bad...Right?
Thankfully I was raised in a household that held diversity as a core value. In fact, my parents share a story about me as a young boy that illustrates the point. One winter I saw a black man and a white woman holding hands as they walked down the street, and I exclaimed "that's bad!" In a panic, my parents tried to stay calm and asked me why that was so bad. I answered, "because he's not wearing a coat, it's winter time!"

Thank God for my parents.

It's Better in 2012...Right?

Sadly, the examples I've been exposed to in my professional life are not from the era of  leisure suits and disco balls. They're part of my adult experience, and over the years I've struggled with how to handle the moment when bigotry has shown itself to me.

Probably the ultimate let down is when someone we admire shows their feelings and lets a comment slip out that speaks to their real values. When I experience those moments I put them on a little mental list...a list of those that no longer deserve my respect.

Time To Speak Up

Quite a few years ago I decided I couldn't handle the silence anymore. Since that time I've lost friends, and become much more vocal about rights for people in the workplace. All people. I'm proud that my employer recognizes these same values not only in words, but in who we care for, and how we treat our employees. You see, as an HR professional you truly can advocate for changes to be made in your company that send very powerful messages about equality, difference, and...people!

How About You
What do you do in your moment of silence? Do you take a stand and rise above the others and say what's on your mind? Or, do you let the silence wrap itself around you in a blanket of shame?

I'd love to hear from you.

No Excuses.



photo credit

I Met Jim Wallis

I received an extra special gift at Christmas this year. It was an old picture of my father introducing me to Jim Wallis. The picture means a lot to me for several reasons:
- I met Jim Wallis!
- It's my Dad doing the introduction
- And it's forced me to evaluate how I'm going about my business in the world today

For those of you that don't know about Jim, he is a champion for what's right in the world. Period. As a young man starting my career, and being raised in a household that focused overwhelmingly on doing what's right, this was a huge moment.

I met Jim Wallis.

What About Now
So now I have this picture on my desk at work...and it speaks to me...it challenges me...it calls me out each day. "What are you doing that will make a difference in the world? A real difference." Some days I don't feel like I have a good answer. Other days I feel like I'm doing reasonably well and am contributing to my team, my organization, and my profession. But is it enough?

Life is About Choices

It's time for a new round of questions to be asked in my world. How much more can I do? Where should I invest my time and energy to make the biggest impact? How can I be more effective in my professional life, considering the privilege I have to work at such an amazing organization? How should I modify my leadership style to reflect a true "do the right thing" approach?

All of this from one picture.

How About You

What questions do you need to ask today? Take some time to reflect and honestly answer how you are going about your business. I bet if we stop worrying about mistakes and start focusing on action we'll all be happy with the road that lies ahead.

Thanks for the picture Mom.

I'd love to hear from you.

No Excuses. 

pic of Me, Dad, and Jim Wallis courtesy of Janet Kuhns