The Most Epic Insults From Game of Thrones
- 1
Honor
Tyrion: I'm not questioning your honor, Lord Janos. I'm denying its existence.
S2E2, "The Night Lands" - 2
Cleverness
Cersei: You know that you're not half as clever as you think.
S2E1, "Valar Dohaeris"
Tyrion: That still makes me twice as clever as you. - 3
Incest
Cersei: It's all fallen on me...
S2E2, "The Night Lands"
Tyrion: As has Jaime repeatedly, according to Stannis Baratheon. - 4
BAM!
Cersei: “Ah yes, the famously tart-tongued Queen of Thorns."
Olenna: “And the famous tart, Queen Cersei."Cersei: “As for your veiled threats…"
S5E6, “Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken”
Olenna: “What veil?" - 5
Tit for Tyrion’s Tat
Varys: “Cersei has offered a lordship to the man who brings her your head."
S5E2, “The House of Black and White”
Tyrion: “She ought to offer her c—t. Best part of her for the best part of me." - 6
Margaery puts the smackdown on Cersei.
“Can we bring you anything to eat or drink? I wish we had some wine for you, it’s a bit early in the day for us.”
Episode: “The High Sparrow” - 7
Uncurable Disease
Bronn: There's no cure for being a c*nt.
S2E4, "Garden of Bones" - 8
Really?
Cersei: If it weren't for my children, I would have thrown myself from the highest tower in the Red Keep. They're the reason I'm alive.
S3E10, "Mhysa"
Tyrion Lannister: Even Joffrey? - 9
Comedy
Tyrion (to Cersei): Grand Maester Pycelle made the same joke. You must be proud to be as funny as a man whose balls brush his knees.
S3E1, "Valar Dohaeris" - 10
Conqueror Burn
Jaime: Three victories don't make you a conqueror.
S2E1, "The North Remembers"
Robb: It's better than three defeats. - 11
A Burn They Could Smell in Highgarden
Margaery to Cersei: “What’s the proper way to address you now: Queen Mother or Dowager Queen? In any event, judging from the king’s enthusiasm, the Queen Mother will be a Queen Grandmother soon.”
S5E3, “High Sparrow” - 12
Royalty Loyalty
Tywin: Any man who must say, 'I am the king' is no true king.
S3E10, "Mhysa" - 13
The B Word
Ramsay: “I’ve been naturalized by a royal degree."
S5E7, “The Gift”
Sansa: “By Tommen Baratheon? Another bastard.” - 14
Bragging
Tyrion to Daenerys: “You want revenge against the Lannisters? I killed my mother, Joanna Lannister, on the day I was born. I killed my father, Tywin Lannister, with a bolt to the heart. I am the greatest Lannister killer of our time.”
S5E8, “Hardhome” - 15
Badge of Honor
Robert: *slaps Cersei*
S1E6, "A Golden Crown"
Cersei: "I shall wear this as a badge of honor"
Robert: "Wear it in silence or I'll honor you again" - 16
T.M.I.
Brynden Tully: I've seen wet sh*ts I liked better than Walder Frey.
S3E7, "The Bear and the Maiden Fair" - 17
Handsomeness
Tyrion: We have our differences, Jaime and I. He is braver; I am better looking.
S1E8, "The Pointy End" - 18
Useless
Cersei (about Pycelle): The man is as useless as nipples on a breastplate.
A Feast for Crows, Chapter 3 - 19
Hound Out
Sandor Clegane: F**k the Kingsguard. F**k the city. F**k the king.
S2E9, "Blackwater" - 20
Beauty
Tyrion (to Cersei): You love your children. It's your one redeeming quality; that and your cheekbones.
S2E2, "The Night Lands" - 21
Preach
Olenna to Margaery: “If they arrested all the pillow biters in King’s Landing, there’d be no room left in the dungeons for anyone else.”
S5E6, “Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken” - 23
Mmm... Ham
Renly: Born amidst salt and smoke... Is he a ham?
S2E4, "Garden of Bones" - 24
Ancestry Dot Naw
Loboda the thenn chieftain: “My ancestors would spit on me if I broke bread with a Crow.” Karsi the wildling chieftain: “So would mine. But f*ck ‘em, they’re dead.”
S5E8, “Hardhome”
- 25
Tyrion on the Tyranny of Evil Men
Tyrion to Hizdahr: “You’re an eloquent man. It doesn’t mean you’re wrong. In my experience, eloquent men are right every bit as often as imbeciles.”
S5E9, “The Dance of Dragons” - 26
Tyrion Writes Jorah’s Tinder Profile
Tyrion to Jorah Mormont: “Long, sullen silences and an occasional punch in the face: the Mormont Way.”
S5E5, “Kill the Boy” - 27
The Size of Sam's Dragon Glass
"I killed a White Walker, I killed a Thenn, I’ll take my chances with you."
S5E7, “The Gift” - 28
No Balls Necessary
Daario about Grey Worm: “He’s the toughest man with no balls I ever met.”
S5E10, “Mother’s Mercy” - 29
Sarcasm
Cersei (to Robert): I'm sorry your marriage to Ned Stark didn't work out. You seemed so good together.
S1E5, "The Wolf and the Lion" - 30
Back-Handed Compliment
Tyrion: “It’s easy to confuse what is with what ought to be, especially when what is has worked out in your favor.”
Hizdahr: “It’s an unpleasant question, but what great thing has ever been accomplished without killing or cruelty?”
Tyrion: “My father would have liked you.”
S5E9, “The Dance of Dragons” - A lot of people name their sword. The Hound - A lot of cunts name their sword.
- 33
Snap
Arya Stark to Meryn Trant: “You know who I am. I’m Arya Stark. Do you know who you are? You’re no one. You’re nothing.”
S5E10, “Mother’s Mercy” - 34
Literacy
Shireen (to Davos): You won't be a very good hand if you see the word 'knight' and say "ka-niggit."
S4E3, "Breaker of Chains" - 35
Tyrion’s Take
Tyrion Lannister to Daario Naharis and Jorah Mormont about Daenerys Targaryen: “You love her, don’t you? How could you not? Of course it’s hopeless for the both of you, a sellsword from the fighting pits and a disgraced knight. Neither one of you is fit consort for a queen, but we always want the wrong woman.”
S5E10, “Mother’s Mercy” - 36
Saints & Sinners
Littlefinger to Lancel: “We both peddle fantasies, Brother Lancel, mine just happen to be entertaining.”
S5E6, “Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken” - 37
Body Image
Ned: Your Grace.
S1E1, "Winter Is Coming"
King Robert: You got fat. - 38
Do You Have a Banner?
Tyrion to Varys: “We’ve already got a ruler. Everywhere’s already got a ruler. Every pile of sh*t on the side of every road has someone’s banner hanging from it.”
S5E2, “The House of Black and White” - 39
Teenagers
Daenerys drops some wisdom about her grown-ass dragons: “They will eat you if I tell them to. They may eat you even if I don’t. Children. Some say I should give up on them. But a good mother never gives up on her children. She disciplines them if she must. But she does not give up on them.”
S5E5 “Kill the Boy” - 40
Shade From the Crypt
Margaery: "Lies come easily to you, everyone knows that. But innocence, decency and concern, you’re not very good at those, I’m afraid."
S5E7, “The Gift” - 41
Who Cares?
Loras: My father once told me...
S3E8, "Second Sons"
Cersei: Nobody cares what your father once told you. - 42
Compelling
Brynden Tully: The laws of my fist are about to compel your teeth!
S3E6, "The Climb" - 43
Elder Slam
Shireen Baratheon to Gilly on reading: “I taught Ser Davos and old people are terrible at learning new things.”
S5E2, “The House of Black and White” - 44
Braavos Fortune Cookie
Arya Stark to a Braavosi man: “Nothing’s worth anything to dead men.”
S5E2, “The House of Black and White” - 45
I Said Biiiiiitch
Sansa to Myranda: “I’m Sansa Stark of Winterfell. This is my home and you can’t frighten me.”
S5E6, “Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken” - 46
Old Gs
Olenna: “You should have the decency to stand when you speak to a lady.”
High Sparrow: “You should have the decency to kneel before the gods.”
Olenna: “Don’t spar with me, little fellow.”Olenna: "Spare me the homilies, I can smell a fraud from a mile away."
High Sparrow: “Useful talent.”High Sparrow: "A lifetime of wealth and power has left you blind in one eye."
S5E7, “The Gift” - 47
Chores
Ser Jorah: Viserys could not sweep a stable with ten thousand brooms.
A Game of Thrones, Chapter 36 (Daenerys IV) - 48
Needles
Arya: Sansa can have her sewing needles. I have a Needle of my own.
S1E2, "The Kingsroad" - 49
Absolutely Nothing
Ygritte: You know nothing Jon Snow. - 50
He’ll Be Here All Winter, Folks. Tip Your Wargs and Wildlings.
Tyrion to Varys about red priestess preaching to the people: “Good luck stopping the spread of greyscale with prayer. You’d have better luck dancing away the plague.”
S5E3, “High Sparrow” - 51
Sisterhood
Cersei (to Margaery Tyrell): If you ever call me sister again, I'll have you strangled in your sleep.
S2E8, "Second Sons" - 52
Whore's Honor
Ser Rodrik: You have less honor than a back alley whore.
S2E6, "The Old Gods and the New" - 53
Regret
Roose Bolton: Don't make me rue the day I raped your mother.
A Dance with Dragons, Chapter 32 (Reek III) - 54
A Grandfather's Love
Walder Frey: My granddaughter, Waltha? Walra? Waldina.
S3E9, "The Rains of Castamere"
Mary: I'm Mary.
Walder Frey: Fine. - 55
Boredom
Jamie (to Brienne): Has anyone ever told you you're as boring as you are ugly?
S2E8, "The Prince of Winterfell" - 56
Jellie
Cersei to Tommen about wifey Queen Margaery: “She’s certainly very pretty, isn’t she? Like a doll. She smiles quite a lot. Do you think she’s intelligent? I can’t quite tell, not that it matters.”
S5E3, “High Sparrow” - 57
Killing Us All with Kindness
Alliser Thorne to Jon Snow: “You have a good heart, Jon Snow. It’ll get us all killed.”
S5E9, “The Dance of Dragons” - 58
Pretty Colors
Sansa: Loras likes green and gold brocade.
S3E6, "The Climb"
Shae: I bet he does. - 59
A Simple "No" Will Do, Dude
Tormund Giantsbane to Jon Snow: “The day I ask my people to fight with the Crows is the day my people cut my guts from my belly and make me eat them.”
S5E5, “Kill the Boy” - 60
A Knight’s Word
Jorah to Tyrion: “If I ever kill you, your eyes will be wide open.”
S5E10, “Mother’s Mercy” - 61
Oh, Cersei
Cersei to Septa Uriella: “I’ll get out of here, you realize, before long. I can make you a wealthy woman, a lady of the court. Or I can make sure you die in the most hideous way imaginable, and all I do is sit here, imagining hideous ways for you to die.”
S5E8, “Hardhome” - 62
Fortune Telling
Cersei to lady Sparrow: "Look at my face. It’s the last thing you’ll see before you die."
S5E7, “The Gift” - "Two quick deaths?" She says while slowly skewering the man responsible for killng 3 woen.
- 64
A Father's Love
Walder Frey: I need lessons in courtesy from you, bastard? Your mother would still be a milkmaid if I hadn't squirted you into her belly!
S1E9, "Baelor" - 65
Admitting Mistakes
Tywin (to Tyrion): I always thought you were a stunted fool. Perhaps I was wrong.
S1E10, "Fire and Blood" - 66
Winter Is Here
Night King White Walker's to Jon Snow
S5E8, "Hardhome" - 67
Cersei Has Never Met a Rat From Hell's Kitchen
Cersei: “My Uncle Kevan has all the courage of a kitchen mouse.”
S5E6, “Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken” - 68
We’re Not Cool
Jaime to Bronn about Tyrion: “He murdered my father. If I ever see him, I’ll split him in two. And then I’ll give him your regards.”
S5E4, “Sons of the Harpy” - 69
The Hurling
The actual insults hurled at Cersei on her walk of literal shame. All are unrepeatable.
S5E10, “Mother’s Mercy” - 70
She’ll Do It, Too
Cersei to Jaime about Myrcella living in Dorne: “It’s a threat. They blame us for the death of Oberyn and his sister and every other tragedy that’s befallen their cursed country. I will burn their cities to the ground if they touch her!"
S5E2, “The House of Black and White” - 71
The Selfie Slam
Brienne to Podrick: “Brienne the Beauty, they called me. Great joke. And I realized I was the ugliest girl alive, a great lumbering beast.”
S5E3, “High Sparrow” - 72
But Not Really
Alliser Thorne and others to Jon while stabbing him: “For the Watch.”
S5E10, “Mother’s Mercy”
