The Art Basel Banana: A Life in Colours

As part of an art writers meet up I was tasked with writing a piece on the Art Basel banana. Here’s my tongue in cheek essay written from the viewpoint of the banana.

Green. Life begins surrounded by my green brethren. I’m also green when it comes to my understanding of the world - all I aspire to be is one of those fancy bananas that sit atop the counter at Pret A Manger and sell for fifty pence each. Yes, we bananas are more self-aware than you give us credit for.

Yellow. My life takes off as I’m scooped up from a grocery store aisle and stuck to a wall with a piece of duct tape. I show off my best side and people the world over take my photo. I’m on the front pages of magazines and newspapers and people forget all about Trump or Brexit and debate me around their dinner tables instead. Some adore me, while others hate me but that’s because they’re jealous of my Instagram presence and because I’m worth more than they ever will be. My predecessor was eaten by some performance artist but that’s not going to happen to me - I expect museums to fight over me.

Brown. I’ve been taken down for my own safety - the irony hits me that duct tape is designed to permanently hold things in place and yet I have been removed after a day. On the upside I have been sold for $120,000 and I’m totally worth it. I imagine I’ll be stored in a freeport somewhere and it takes me by surprise to learn it’s the concept that’s been bought, and not me. So when this artwork is displayed I’ll be replaced by a fresher, yellower model. I guess art is just as age-ist as every other industry - female actors in Hollywood, I feel your pain.

Black. I lie here casually tossed into a food waste bin reflecting on how fickle fame can be. Will they remember me in a few year’s time? What about a hundred? Will I live on in art textbooks next to Michelangelo and Mark Rothko? As I hear a recycling truck reversing I think if only I had been a digital art work, then I could have achieved immortality on a digital ledger as a non-fungible token (NFT).

White.