Holla for Tapas: Jaleo

Long ago, when I was in law school, Jaleo was my absolute favorite restaurant in D.C.  Even on my worst days, those tapas could turn my frown upside-down.

This was way before I adopted gluttony as a hobby (and when my dress size was still a single digit).  It was 2001, and I had no idea who José Andrés was.

All I knew was that there was something magical in those patatas bravas, and I felt so lucky that I could walk to Jaleo from school.

There's no better place to feel lucky than Las Vegas.  We got lucky on Saturday at Jaleo at The Cosmopolitan.

Even Mr. Monkey got a bit nostalgic about our meals of yesteryear.  He was a fan of Jaleo back in the day, too.

Datiles con tocino "como hace todo el mundo" -- fried dates wrapped in bacon ($10).

Still incredible after all these years.  Still our favorite little golden sweet and salty bites.

Sopa de ajo -- garlic soup with black garlic and egg 63 degrees ($10).

People!  This soup is made of garlic!  Slurp it up, y'all!

Empanadillas de brandada de bacalao -- "empanada" of cod brandade with honey ($10).

Like a fancy crab rangoon but with cod in liquid form.  Unexpected and fun!

Espinacas a la catalana -- sauteed spinach, pine nuts, raisins, and apples ($12).

Another Jaleo classic.  Just had to get my fave veggies of old.

Codorniz a la Catalana -- grilled whole quail with apple puree and pine nuts ($15).

Is that quail sexy or what?  Its crossed legs say, "Come hither."

Rossejat -- traditional paella of fried pasta with fresh squid and shrimp ($18).

Comfort in a giant pan.  Maybe even more garlicky than the sopa de ajo.  And that's good.

Canelones tradicionales de cerdo y higado de pato con salsa bechamel -- pork and foie gras canelones with Béchamel sauce ($14).

Creamy heaven, but my only complaint is that it was hard to taste the foie with all the cheese and pork.  Feature the foie!

I heart Jaleo.  Forever and always.

Incredible Tapas in an Alley: Gitane

We had one of the best meals we've had in San Francisco in recent memory at Gitane, an Iberian-peninsula-inspired tapas place in a dark alley.

The restaurant is small, dark, and cramped, but you will love it.

Bacon bonbons -- prunes stuffed with goat cheese, wrapped in smoked bacon, spiced port glaze ($10).

These sounded so promising, but they weren't actually that tasty. I was worried that we were going to have a bad meal.

Bastilla -- sweet and savory pastry with chicken, spiced almonds, apricot fennel salad ($13).


Yes! Hot and flaky! Salty and sweet! From this point on, our meal was superb.

Calamares stuffed with bacon and onion, manzanilla olives, cherry tomatoes, heirloom potatoes ($16).

Astounding. Our party of three all agreed that this was the star dish of the night. Even though garlic is not mentioned in the menu description, this skillet was a garlic lover's dream. Super flavorful. Super delicious.

Rabanetes -- sauteed radishes, harissa butter ($7).

A tangy, crunchy, refreshing contrast to our entrees.

Caille -- Tolenas Farm quail, chorizo apple stuffing, celery root gratin and cider jus ($28).

Fabulous! Tender, juicy, and luscious!

Bruxelas -- Brussels sprouts, golden raisins, pomegranate, brown sugar sherry vinaigrette ($7).

Another great contrasting side. Shredded yumminess with tart pomegranate pops.

Beignets with melted chocolate, naughty cream, and seasonal fruit preserves ($7).

A far cry from the glory that is Cafe du Monde, but the lovely dipping options made up for this. I was big fan of the naughty cream, which was basically vanilla bean cream.

I definitely want to come back to Gitane to sample more of its interesting menu. Lucky for me, Mr. Monkey feels the same.

SAAM Kind of Wonderful

You'd think that, after visiting The Bazaar by José Andrés four times, I'd be sick of it.

Nope.

We knew exactly where to celebrate Ms. Cruiser's birthday -- SAAM.

What is SAAM?

According to The Bazaar website, SAAM is "The Intimate Chef's Tasting Room" -- a "hidden space designed by Philippe Starck...lined with Murano glass sconces and creamy leather with clean lines inspired by Italian 1940s decor." Here, "guests...enjoy a personalized journey of modern creations and traditional flavors."

Reserving a table at SAAM requires a phone call and a filled-out form with your credit card information and your party's food allergies. The experience costs $95 per person.

Our birthday girl tried an Uva Bella -- gin, St. Germain, house-made grape soda and grape air. Mr. Cruiser opted for José's Gimlet -- Bombay Sapphire and fresh lime heart.

I got another Magic Mojito. I know you guys love the animated GIFs. Make your own on Gickr!

Our "personalized journey of modern creations and traditional flavors" started with a shot for each of us.

The Golden Boy -- Amontillado Sherry wine, bitters, Cava and gold dust.

Beet "Tumbleweed."

How could a crunchy fried red bite be so good? Delightful!

Black Olives Ferran Adrià.

Our first spherification of the night. These membranous globes of olive and squid ink burst in our mouths. Such a crazy sensation!

Bagel and lox steam bun.

Light and fluffy, warm and starchy pillows with salmon roe that go pop, pop, pop!

Olive oil bonbons.

What? I'm supposed to eat...oil? With what? Nothing? Just oil? Huh? Ok, I'm eating candied oil...and loving it. So weird but so gratifying.

Tuna Handroll 2009.

This is my favorite cone here. A great amalgamation of different textures and flavors.

Jose's Combination -- jamon iberico + caviar.

Insanely delicious and decadent. Two ounces of this acorn-fed, free-range Ibérico ham will typically set you back $38. Use this to wrap caviar inside, and you have quite the extravagant bite.

Boneless coconut Thai chicken wing.

A slight twist on The Bazaar's usual boneless chicken wings with green olive purée. I didn't think it was possible, but I thought this version was even better. Loved the sweetness.

Beet salad.

We got the beet! Just beet it! And that is the extent of my stupid beet lyrics. This dish was surprisingly delicious and complex. I had no idea that beets could be so tasty. The initial tumbleweed foreshadowed beautiful things to come.

Chipirones en su tinta.

This baby squid in its own ink was succulent and superb.

Baby Japanese peaches and kiwi, Greek yogurt and zataar.

Another slight twist on The Bazaar's usual Japanese peaches. I liked this much more than I did my first visit. The kiwi worked better for me than the regular menu's persimmon.

Guacamole "New Way."

Like an avocado caterpillar filled with icy tomato inside and dressed with tiny corn chips outside. Like a fancy schmancy chef catered your Super Bowl party.

Hot & cold foie soup with corn.

Wow. WOW. Maybe my favorite course of the night. Gorgeous cold corny foie mousse on top and creamy hot corny foie soup underneath. Rich and absolutely amaaaaazing.

Norwegian cigalas.

Hey! Crawfish for the wealthy! Quite possibly the best crawfish I've ever had. That golden crunchy top. Man, oh, man.

Smoked Arctic char chickpea cake, cucumber Tzatziki.

I'm not a huge fan of salmon, but this was perfectly cooked, and the chickpea cake was excellent. The accompaniments provided a lovely contrasting coolness.

Not Your Everyday Caprese -- cherry tomatoes, liquid mozzarella.

More spherification! You've seen this before. Still great. Mr. Cruiser called the little croutons "bread Chiclets." Ha!

Wagyu beef cheeks.

We wants it. We needs it. Must have The Precious. Myyyyy Preciousssss.

Wild mushroom risotto with white truffle ($25).

This addition pleased the Cruisers very much, and even Monkey the Mushroom Hater had to admit it was wonderful. I've said it before, but it's kind of weird that I like truffles but don't like mushrooms.

Philly cheesesteak air bread, cheddar, Wagyu beef.

We've had this a couple times, but we've never had it served by a monkey! The stand was so neat!

Dragon's Breath Popcorn! Dragon's Breath Popcorn! Dragon's Breath Popcorn!

Hooray for nitro! Pop this in your mouth and chew immediately. Breathe out. You are Puff the Magic Dragon! You want whimsical? I got your whimsical right here. This made grown men giggle gleefully all around the room.

Thai dessert, peanut powder, gelée.

When I first got this, I was puzzled to eat just powder. Powder! But this turned out to be a yummy-nummy joy. Loved it a lot.

Hot chocolate pear.

This was the dessert that Mr. Monkey and The Cruisers enjoyed.

Nitro coconut floating island, passion fruit, vanilla, bananas.


In lieu of the hot chocolate pear, I got this on account of my mild chocolate allergy. You can see how the floating island is made here. Pretty cool!

When you celebrate your birthday at SAAM, you get a candle in a crazy sugar cage.

Make a wish, Ms. Cruiser!

Petit fours -- tablets, bonbons, marshmallow, gelée.

Sweet and tiny bites to end the night!

We each got a ribboned scroll to remember our night.

I love taking menus home!

Before we left, our server showed us the kitchen.


The staff was busy cleaning up.

As always, some decor shots for you. Here's my fave table in the Rojo Room.

Berry titillating night. Thank you, SAAM.