Non-stop flights ONLY. Since we're on the east coast, we can make this happen. As I will likely detail in a later post, we missed our connection on the way to Paris. It was no fault of ours, and honestly, it shouldn't have happened, but it resulted in a good bit of inconvenience (and new countries traveled to), and if we'd gone direct, it wouldn't have happened. We could not afford the direct flights this time, so we are less kicking ourselves for this time, and working to focus instead on next time. see separate post as to which airline we WILL NOT fly next time.
Bring a cell phone. If it means I upgrade my cell phone so it works on the Other Side, then that's what it means (honestly, I never checked if mine does). But the travel books (ooooh, another number on the list!) made it sound like getting "a phone card" and using it "at any phone" was going to be a piece of cake. HA! We only called the girls twice, but the second time, we stuffed at least 12 Euros into a phone, b/c it was the only way we could do it, despite a handful of phone cards and credit cards.
Bring my laptop. Internet cafes are not nearly as convenient to get to or to spend time in as I'd imagined. I didn't need much - but we did find out three days later that our cat-sitter locked herself out of the house, since e-mail was the only way she could contact us and we hadn't made it to a cafe in a few days. The girls also would have likely enjoyed a little more contact (but next time, they're coming with us! So it won't matter!)
No Shopping in Paris. Not that we did this time. But still, it's freaking expensive there. And I saw very little that wasn't just marked up because it was in Paris. There was one art gallery that we raised our eyebrows at as a place to return to if we ever have our own house to decorate. I think that's it. Actually -
No Going to Paris Unless Money is No Object. Which with house-buying and kids' college in our future will likely mean NEVER. It's just really hard for me, a girl with no job, to sit in a cafe and look at the menu to find that your cup of coffee will cost 6.50 in Euros, which translates to approximately 10 US Dollars! I am a Starbucks person! I am accustomed to giving an eyeball a day for a cup of coffee, but still, this was too much for me. Too much.
Do not rely on travel books. They are wrong. A lot. This was not such a big deal, but there was at least one time where our disappointment warranted several later references. We went to Haarlem, just outside of Amsterdam for the day on Monday. At that point, one of the items on our "to do" list was to eat Indonesian food. When looking through Time Out's narrative (small) on Haarlem, one thing that popped out at us was that there was an Indonesian restaurant that was the best on the planet right there in the center of the town. On the planet? (or maybe it was the country, but still, Amsterdam's known for its Indonesian, too, so it was still a big deal.) Definitely a two birds with one stone opportunity! But alas. As we found the address, and saw the sign for the restaurant on the street, we were immediately confronted with a sign on the door, scrawled in pen, saying something that must be Dutch for, "Ha! We fooled you, fuckers! No Indonesian food for you!" It was closed. Permanently.

This was by far not the only instance where something was closed. We knew that one of our books was published in 2005, and so we forgave it its inconsistencies (but if a restaurant is the best on the planet --- why does it close?) There were also pricing differences and such. As I said, though, this wasn't such a big deal. We were familiar enough with travel and Beloved was already familiar with Amsterdam, that it didn't cause even a hiccup, but it's a lesson.

Learn to Speak French.
Buy Art in Amsterdam. And Clothes. They have cool stuff. Their prices are nowhere near as high as in Paris.
If the Dollar Ever Gets a Backbone - Go to Europe!!!

I think that's it.

Things I already miss:

Canals
10 p.m. sunsets
bicycles
the music of foreign languages on the train
rows of cafes with outdoor seating where servers don't rush you out as soon as they see you wipe your mouth with a napkin
wondering what's around the next corner
the excitement of figuring a new city out, realizing that you understand the layout, even if just a little bit.

Labels: europe, travel

posted by Zuska @ 7:12 AM 0 comments

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Bar Exam Crisis of Confidence (yes, already)

Over the weekend, I obnoxiously gloated over getting 84% correct on my first set of practice questions.

Last night, I spent time doing assigned practice MBE questions, and received approximately 67% correct, and was disappointed at the decrease, but knew it was in line with what they said to expect now. But then I noticed they said to do the "Intermediate" questions, and I had done the "Introductory." Oh, crap. I decided to do the Intermediate, so I was on track, and didn't fall behind.

Oh. My. God. I got 7 right. Out of 18.

I am going to fail.

F.A.I.L.

I was very upset about it.

Then I argued with Beloved. Or, he argued with me. Or something. I don't care if I'm delicate right now, after the weekend realization of the accumulation of the stress, and then the very bad grades, and the girls freaking out over their summer travels (each have had a night of tears over strife with their father and their desire to just stay home for the summer) ... that is NOT why we argued. We argued b/c he was mean to me. And I didn't feel like forgiving him, b/c I realized that his attitude that resulted in a snappish retort was also the attitude that resulted in a previous blank stare, which I had chosen, 10 minutes prior, to read as his being worried about me on account of my poor performance on the practice Qs, and when I realized that my assumptions about the look he gave me was so off the mark, that it was really a blank stare of irritation and really resulted from an utter lack of desire for me to open my mouth and make sounds in his general direction, well, I was upset. Very. And I had many flashbacks from my previous life, and I started to hate myself a wee bit. On account of the irritatingness of me, and the bad scores and wrong answers, and the miserable kids, and and and.

Needless to say, I did NOT get a good night's sleep.

_____________________

This afternoon, after I was released from the excruciating pain of Evidence II [which likely would be less painful if it wasn't going to be followed by Evidence III], I got on the T, stopped on the way home at a store that one of J's bday presents was purchased at in order to exchange a duplicate, came home, took my stupid hand-outs/outline book out of my bag, and put IN the stupid CONVISER bullshit, the practice questions book, my notebook with my crim notes (the questions I so horribly bombed), my birth certificate, my divorce judgment, my old passport with my old (married) last name, and went to the local pharmacy/everything-store to get a passport photo taken, and to buy note cards. I found these really cute index card organizers, which are small, but have little dividers and little stickers. I bought 2. They're so cute. I love them. They make me feel organized and like I'm on the way to becoming intelligent.

Then I picked up a couple rolls of tuna sushi, b/c I hadn't eaten anything but a nectarine all damned day, and I thought it would be better than Friday's meal replacement (peanut M&Ms ... not a good thing).

Then I went to the Town Hall, checkbook in hand, prepared to hand over $120 instead of $60, b/c I am a slacker. Queen slacker, to you, thank you very much. I had been at the town hall in NOVEMBER and got an application for my passport, b/c Beloved and I had considered getting married in Canada, and passport rules were changing. I even had my picture taken.

I just never went back. Even though the Town Hall opens at 8 a.m., and I had ample time all spring. It just always felt like I had time, and that it would be okay.

Now it's June 5, and we are leaving for France (which is, by the way, a different country) on July 28. We will then go from France to The Netherlands, and I will likely need a passport for that.

June 5 to July 28 ... less than 60 days.

It's all very irritating.

My passport isn't even EXPIRED, it just has the wrong damned name on it.

The woman tried to tell me that I needed my driver's license, b/c it wasn't a renewal, but rather a new passport. I told her "no it's not a new passport ... why do you need my driver's license? you're holding my passport!" She said, "uh huh, name changes are new passports, unless it's within a year of the name change, and yours is dated 2004." I said, "I was here a few months ago, and I was told it was a renewal. Can you please double check?" [I was not mean, although my meanness was just beneath my skin. Just like it was with the passport photo person who was rude and obnoxious and took it out on me that her manager likely broke the damned law by going and getting her from her lunch break to take my picture b/c the manager couldn't figure out how to turn a camera on; and just like it was with the woman in the toy store where I exchanged J's gift, b/c she insisted on taking every tiny piece of information she could think of from me before she'd exchange the damned toy]

She called the Passport Gods who told her that she was dumb, and I was smart. I wish they were on the Board of Bar Examiners. They wouldn't have given me THIRTY PERCENT.

Finally, at 2:40, I went to the library with my mound of books. I staked out a table, and then went to the children's room to find E and her friends, whose parents I told I would be an adult presence for while they're working out how to spread their 5th grade little wings. They were being good.

I then commenced note card creation. I got through crim LAW, but not crim PRO in 2 hours. Damn. We may call it 1.5 hours, since E came upstairs for snack money a couple times, and her friend's mom called, and then came by. But it was still slow going.

And I didn't even bring my computer. I did nothing but work (and mother).

Tonight, I'm supposed to do the following:

make cards for crim pro
read Con Law I (which is dumb ... we don't even do that until THURSDAY)
do 52 Qs in crim (the other 1/2 of last night's, plus tonight's)
condense today's notes from Evidence II
jump off a bridge

Bar prep is proving stressful already. I'm not happy. Still.

Labels: bar prep, beloved, parenting, stress, travel, whining

posted by Zuska @ 5:53 PM 2 comments

Friday, December 01, 2006

Strife and Guilt and Manipulation and Guilt

Here is an illustration in the kind of crap I often get from my ex:

We have an agreement that sets forth custody and vistation with the girls. It was written when I lived in CA, and he already lived elsewhere (far away elsewhere). It is written with the girls' school schedule in CA, and not here. Their school schedule was different then - they got 2 weeks off at Christmas, and only one spring break. Now they have one week off at Christmas, and then one spring break in February, and one in April. The agreement, however, says that we alternate years with both Christmas and Thanksgiving. Pretty typical. It *used to be* that when the girls were with me for Christmas, they still had another week off, and went to his home for a week. But the year we moved here, I had the girls for Christmas, they had one week off, and I had them for the whole week. He had Thanksgiving that year, and it was actually the first year he took them for Thanksgiving (he had given it up twice). Becuase of the travel involved, they took the whole Thanksgiving week off from school in 2004. He never brought that up this year.

So, this is my year for Christmas. he asked me, probably in September, if I would be willing for them to spend a couple of days with him and his parents in Florida. I thought it over, considered that Christmas itself is on a Monday, that I'm on co-op and may not have the week off, and that we had really anticipated the girls getting to spend extra time with him this year, since he's living closer. And I said yes.

He then told me that he was going to be flying them to a sunny locale in the U.S. where his parents live. I said, "oh, the girls will like that" and I also said, "I am not willing to pay half of their tickets, though, b/c this is actually my year to have them." (It is also in our agreement that for these visits that he has according to the order, we split travel costs 50/50.) He didn't respond to that statement immediately, but later told me that his mother was going to buy the girls' tickets.

But when I told the girls about the trip, they LOST IT. They didn't want to go. They cried, they complained, they refused. They said this was their year to be with US, and they didn't want to go, and they're sick of traveling during all their I didn't know what to do, b/c I had already told him yes, I did not anticipate that they would act this way.

So there was drama, and tears, and talks, and eventually, they decided they would go.

And then it came about that airline prices are SO HIGH this year. My sis probably can't come from CA, and the ex hasn't been able to find decent priced tickets for the girls. He told them that, and they took it to mean they weren't going. They did a dance. They giggled and smiled. When I later said he was still looking for better prices, they reverted to the same refusal to go, the proclamations that they would run away on the day of the flight (and return before bed) and so on.

Today I asked him for a definitive answer - are they going or not? Because if not, I'm going to have to work out either time off from work, or childcare for the days that Beloved has to work - or something.

His response? "remind me again your position on splitting the cost for the girls' travel for this holiday?"

So I did. I said, "I'm unwilling to split the cost" (especially since tickets are $600/each right now!! I don't have $600!! I'm in LAW SCHOOL - and that is the equivalent of what he pays each month in child support)

He said "well, our agreement says you have to split all travel costs, and it seems even more reasonable, since they didn't have to fly anywhere for Thanksgiving."

I had to clarify- our agreement doesn't say "all travel" and if he wants to interpret it that way, then he's shooting himself in the foot, b/c if I have to answer every request of whether or not he can have extra time with the girls with a financial consideration, he's going to get more negative responses than if it was merely a consideration of whether I'm willing to go outside the agreement (which I am, and have demonstrated time and time again).

I also pointed out that since he's planning on traveling 4x the distance from my home to his, even if it WERE his time with the girls, I would protest me paying that much in airfare.

He responded:

Ok. The girls and I won't be able to see each other this holiday season. I give you the choice of which of us should explain this outcome to [the girls]. I think they are owed an explanation. I am a bit surprised at your intractability on this issue.

Which is pretty typical.

My (internal) response to this?

"crap, now i'm being unreasonable, should i just pay the $$? I don't want to be unreasonable."

But I do not think I'm being unreasonable. I also feel 100% sure that his mother will pay "his" 1/2 of the tickets, and I will be paying my half. This isn't his time with them. If he's getting that favor from me, why do I have to feel unreasonable for not doing a second favor in paying for the trip?

Furthermore, THE GIRLS DON'T WANT TO GO!!! I am too kind to say that to him, but when they find out it's a sure thing that they're not going, they're going to be relieved. They're not going to feel that they're "owed an explanation." They're gonna do a happy dance. He has to know that, though. E. told me that he brought the trip up over Thanksgiving (asking if they still want to go), and they just "said nothing" and he changed the subject quickly. Since he's "given me the choice" I should just let him tell them that they can't go, and he'll have no choice but to confront the reality of the situation.*

And I hate that he will present it to his mother (and the entire extended family down there) as him not being able to have time with the girls, and them all not being able to see the girls, b/c I was unreasonable and intractable. Because I refused to pay even my measley portion of the girls' airfare.

* It's really not that they don't want to spend time with him. They're glad he's coming for the play this weekend, they're glad to see him every time they do. They just do not like to travel, and do not like spending time at his house so much, b/c he works a lot, and they have little to do. As it turns out, even, they're all up on popular culture in ways I had no idea. At my house, they watch silent films, musicals, and an ocassional travel show. They don't ask for more, complain that they don't get to watch any particular shows, or show any unhappiness with our lack of popular culture television and movies. The other night, though, we watched an American Girl Doll movie on the Disney Channel, and they knew all the shows, characters, everything - including this High School Musical movie and games and stuff. It was very weird to me.

My POINT was - it's not that they don't like him, or don't want to spend time with him. When he comes to Boston, and spends time with them here, they're very, very happy.

Labels: ex-relations, holidays, kids, travel

posted by Zuska @ 11:18 AM 1 comments

Monday, November 13, 2006

Oooooh, it's been a while!!

I haven't done a Meme in some time, so when I saw this at She Says' place, i grabbed it faster than I could finish my tax outline even though I only have two sections left:

"What Have I Done?" (Mine are in bold --- things I'd like to do are in Italics)

01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink
02. Swam with wild dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said “I love you” and meant it
09. Hugged a tree
10. Bungee jumped
11. Visited Paris
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
14. Seen the Northern Lights
15. Gone to a huge sports game (and survived the crush afterwards)
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
18. Touched an iceberg
19. Slept under the stars
20. Changed a baby’s diaper (x 10,000)
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
22. Watched a meteor shower
23. Gotten drunk on champagne
24. Given more than you can afford to charity (yeah, that $25 to the DNC last week)
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
27. Had a food fight
28. Bet on a winning horse
29. Asked out a stranger
30. Had a snowball fight
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
32. Held a lamb
33. Seen a total eclipse
34. Ridden a roller coaster
35. Hit a home run
36. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
39. Had two hard drives for your computer
40. Visited all 50 states
41. Taken care of someone who was drunk
42. Had amazing friends
43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
44. Watched wild whales
45. Stolen a sign
46. Backpacked in Europe
47. Taken a road-trip
48. Gone rock climbing
49. Midnight walk on the beach
50. Gone sky diving
51. Visited Ireland
52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love
53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table and had a meal with them
54. Visited Japan
55. Milked a cow
56. Alphabetized your CDs
57. Pretended to be a superhero ("wonder twin powers, activate!!")
58. Sung karaoke
59. Lounged around in bed all day
60. Played touch football
61. Gone scuba diving
62. Kissed in the rain
63. Played in the mud
64. Played in the rain
65. Gone to a drive-in theater
66. Visited the Great Wall of China
67. Started a business
68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
69. Toured ancient sites
70. Taken a martial arts class
71. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
72. Gotten married
73. Been in a movie
74. Crashed a party
75. Gotten divorced
76. Gone without food for 5 days
77. Made cookies from scratch
78. Won first prize in a costume contest
79. Ridden a gondola in Venice
80. Gotten a tattoo
81. Rafted the Snake River
82. Been on television news programs as an “expert”
83. Got flowers for no reason
84. Performed on stage
85. Been to Las Vegas
86. Recorded music
87. Eaten shark
88. Kissed on the first date
89. Gone to Thailand
90. Bought a house
91. Been in a combat zone
92. Buried one/both of your parents
93. Been on a cruise ship
94. Spoken more than one language fluently
95. Performed in Rocky Horror
96. Raised children
97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over

101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking
103. Had plastic surgery
104. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived
105. Wrote articles for a large publication
106. Lost over 100 pounds
107. Held someone while they were having a flashback
108. Piloted an airplane
109. Touched a stingray
110. Broken someone’s heart
111. Helped an animal give birth
112. Won money on a T.V. game show
113. Broken a bone
114. Gone on an African photo safari
115. Had a facial part pierced other than your ears
116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
118. Ridden a horse
119. Had major surgery
120. Had a snake as a pet
121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
122. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
124. Visited all 7 continents
125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
126. Eaten kangaroo meat
127. Eaten sushi
128. Had your picture in the newspaper
129. Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about
130. Gone back to school
131. Parasailed
132. Touched a cockroach
133. Eaten fried green tomatoes
134. Read The Iliad - and the Odyssey
135. Selected one “important” author who you missed in school, and read
136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
137. Skipped all your school reunions
138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
139. Been elected to public office
140. Written your own computer language
141. Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream
142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
143. Built your own PC from parts
144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you
145. Had a booth at a street fair
146. Dyed your hair
147. Been a DJ
148. Shaved your head
149. Caused a car accident
150. Saved someone’s life

I think most of my italics are travel-related, and I'm sure that with Beloved as my soon-to-be-husband, it will happen :) Even though, perhaps, some of the places are ones I'll drag HIM to, instead of him convincing me to explore.

Labels: life, meme, travel

posted by Zuska @ 4:30 PM 0 comments

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