Schlock like an Egyptian.
It should tell you something that after I saw Exodus: Gods and Kings on opening weekend, I went home and watched 1998's DreamWorks animated The Prince of Egypt on Netflix ... and had a much better time. I would have watched Cecil B. DeMille's monumental 1956 production of The Ten Commandments with Charlton Heston as Moses and Yul Brynner as Ramses, but - alas - it wasn't streaming. Then when I sat down to write a movie review, I seriously contemplated framing it all as a "I'm sorry, please take me back, I love you!" letter to Chuck Heston.
OK, OK, let's get to Exodus: Gods and Kings (and why in the world do we need that colon and its little subtitle? Isn't Exodus enough?) All cards on the table: I wanted to like this movie. I wanted to like it a LOT. There's no disappointment quite like dashed hope. I almost entitled this review Exodus: All Washed Up. In fact, it would probably take the entire Red Sea to wash all the guyliner off Bale and Edgerton ... though I suppose I must give some kind of grudging acknowledgment of an entire movie in which the men wear more makeup than the women.
Come on, babe. You know it's always been about you.
OK, OK, let's get to Exodus: Gods and Kings (and why in the world do we need that colon and its little subtitle? Isn't Exodus enough?) All cards on the table: I wanted to like this movie. I wanted to like it a LOT. There's no disappointment quite like dashed hope. I almost entitled this review Exodus: All Washed Up. In fact, it would probably take the entire Red Sea to wash all the guyliner off Bale and Edgerton ... though I suppose I must give some kind of grudging acknowledgment of an entire movie in which the men wear more makeup than the women.
