Call For Guest Posts!

gentle readers!

I will be taking vacation time the week of Memorial Day, so I'm going to need five—count 'em, five—guest posts to go up from Monday, May 30th to Friday, June 3rd. And one of them could be yours!

Who: You!

What: One (1) guest post per customer. Please try to keep them in the neighborhood of 300 to 1,000 words. Be creative! Feel free to include a brief bio (50 or so words) and a link to your blog/website, if you have one. Reposts of material from your own blog are 100% fine.

When: You have until 11:59 pm on Monday, May 23rd. I'll announce the five winning posts on Wednesday, May 25th, and they'll be posted Monday, May 30th through Friday, June 3rd.

Where: Right here, on pmn!

Why: I'll be out of town and 100% incommunicado. The show, however, must go on, and I need your help to ensure that happens.

How: Please paste your post into the body of an e-mail and send it along to pimpmynovel [åt] gmail [døt] com (see link at right).

On your mark—get set—go!

Some Things I Might Know About Query Letters (Rerun)

Due to meetings and required reading, bros and she-bros, it'll be reruns here at PMN today and tomorrow. I'll be back with new content on Wednesday; in the meantime, enjoy! — E

Episode: "Some Things I Might Know About Query Letters"
Originally aired: Tuesday, May 18th, 2010

As usual: caveat.

As you may have surmised by this point, I am not an agent! I have never been an agent, I'm not sure I'd ever want to be (or am cut out to be) an agent, and so there's no reason to think I ever will be an agent. Aside from having written a few dozen query letters in my day and reading many an agent blog, I have no direct experience with actual, paper-and-ink (or electron-and...more-electron) queries.

But! I have written pitch letters, and I do work in sales, so (to some extent) I'm very familiar with many of the basic components of query-writing and -reading, so I consider myself qualified to at least talk about the basics, which (as you may also have surmised) I now will.

Less is more. I'm led to believe that agents don't have a ton of free time. Your query, like a pitch letter or title presentation in a sales call, has to be short and sweet. Yes, there's more small talk and relationship-building between a sales rep and a buyer than between a potential client and an agent, but a good salesperson knows when to be social and when to be businesslike. I'm not saying not to have a little fun with your query; what I'm saying is, cut to the chase. Keep it under a page.

Be professional. This sort of ties into the above point, and it also kind of goes without saying, but it bears repeating. Besides being as brief as possible, you want to be polite and professional. Do not call your novel a "fiction novel," do not talk about how it's sure to be an instant bestseller, do not talk about your multiple academic degrees or your sunny disposition or your cat. Talk about your book, and if it's a non-fiction proposal, talk about yourself insofar as it pertains to the project you're pitching. That's it!

Personalize, personalize, personalize. Guess how many non-personalized pitch letters to editors, publicists, and other industry professionals go into the so-called circular file? Around 95 to 100 percent. It's the same deal with agents: don't be creepy and tell them how much you like the floral wallpaper in their living room and by the way could they please turn the TV toward the window so you can watch reruns of Get Smart with them, but at least do them the courtesy of addressing them by name (no "Dear Sir or Madam"s or "To Whom it May Concern"s) and demonstrating that you know something about them and their agency. Mention some titles they've represented that you liked! Tell them you thought their post on query letters was really helpful! Don't get carried away, but if you expect an agent to take the time to read your query (and hopefully, your partial and full), take the time to personalize your query.

Follow directions. Yes, it can be frustrating when one agent asks for a 300-word double-spaced query and another asks for a 500-word single-spaced query. Occasionally you will find that different agents want totally different—perhaps contradictory—things. But if you believe that agent is right for you, take the time to tailor your letter to their guidelines, which (one must assume) they have established for a reason. If they ask you to include the first ten pages, include the first ten pages, and don't send a writing sample (no matter how sorely tempted you may be to do so) if they specifically ask that you don't. You want to put your best foot forward from the get-go, and following an agent's guidelines is a very big and generally necessary component of achieving that.

Do your research. This ties into the above point, but in a more general sense. If an agent doesn't usually represent science fiction, your grand space opera spanning 10,000 years and a half-dozen galaxies probably won't interest him or her, and you'll likely waste both your and the agent's time by querying. If it's not clear from an agent's guidelines or title list whether they represent your genre, by all means, go ahead and query anyway; however, 90% of the time, you should be able to figure out whether an agent will be interested in your type of project based on his/her (agency's) website. You're not looking for just any agent, after all—you're looking for a business partner, one who's genuinely interested in your work and willing to champion it to an editor. In short, you're looking for a good match.

Know how to sell your product. Sure, you know your product; after all, you wrote your book, so you know it better than anyone. Your knowledge of your book isn't being tested, though, but rather, your knowledge of how to present it. If I'm writing a pitch letter, it's not enough that I know everything about the title I'm trying to push—I have to know the best way to position it and anticipate what will catch the reader's eye and hold his or her attention. You need to know that about your product—your book—as well. Where's your hook? What sets your paranormal romance apart from all the other paranormal romances currently on the market? Don't start crunching BookScan numbers or hypothesizing about your target audience, but grab and hold the agent's attention with a great opening line and a well-paced, concise description that leaves him or her wanting to know more by the letter's end.

That's all I've got for you, gentle readers, and I hope it's not a total rehash of all the query advice you've gotten before. As always, if you have any questions or comments—or even rebuttals, calls of shenanigans, or plain old-fashioned vitriol—fire away!

Prithee, Inform Me: What Would You Change About Publishing?

Today's query is a simple one, mes auteurs: If you could, what major change(s) would you make to the publishing industry? Everything from author advances to return rates is on the table. Go nuts!

On A Lighter Note

Yesterday's post generated a lot of reactions and opinions (which I appreciate!), but I feel that one comment above all others requires a post-length response: Dan Krokos' question, "Who do you guys think will be the villain in the new Batman?" (As you might have read, the Batman is my very favorite hero.)

As much as I enjoyed the Michael Keaton Batman films and the mid-90s' super campy Batman Forever and Batman & Robin (1995 and 1997, respectively), I think the new dark, (more) realistic, gritty Batman reboot would benefit from revisiting some of the over-the-top villains from these films. So, mes auteurs, I offer you the following: my choices for the next set of Batman (wo)mantagonists, along with the actors I'd love to see play them.

· Mister Freeze. He's frosty, he's tortured, he's got a mega sweet freeze ray. I think he's got a ton of backstory/developmental potential that weren't fully explored via Arnold Schwarzenegger's relentless ice/snow puns, so I hope they bring him back and give him a fair shake. My pick for the actor: Adrien Brody.

· Poison Ivy. I don't think Uma Thurman did a bad job at all in Batman & Robin, but I'd like to see a new actress take on the role. I'd have to go with Gwyneth Paltrow, whom I loved in Iron Man. Who else could pull off a supervillainess who's also a scientist?

· The Riddler. Jim Carrey played the enigmatic Edward Nigma a little (read: very much) on the crazy/wacky side. I'd like to see a cooler, more controlled Riddler, one more interested in panache and execution than in simply driving Batman up the wall (sort of how Heath played The Joker). My pick is Neil Patrick Harris, hands down.

· Catwoman. I liked Michelle Pfeiffer as Catwoman in Batman Returns; the movie Catwoman (starring Halle Berry, whom I otherwise really like) was so dreadful that it ruined me on the character for years. Who can fix that? Another Aussie, Emilie de Ravin (Claire from lost).

· Two-Face. I'm not going to beat around the bush: Aaron Eckhart did a phenomenal job in the last movie, and yeah, while they sort of closed off Two-Face's potential role in any direct sequels, they didn't make it impossible for him to return. And I really hope he does.

· Clayface. This character hasn't seen a lot of action outside the comic books and animated TV shows, so I'd love to witness his silver screen début. It could just be an extension of my post-lost heartache, but I'd be beyond amped if they could get Terry O'Quinn (a.k.a. John Locke).

And those are my picks! Feel free to post yours in the comments.

Call for Guest Posts

You read that right, mes auteurs: I'll be on vacation the last week of June, so I'm going to need five—count 'em, five—guest posts to put up while I'm away. And one of them could be yours!

Who: You!

What: One (1) guest post per customer. Please try to keep them in the neighborhood of 300 to 1,000 words. Be creative! Feel free to include a brief bio (50 or so words) and a link to your blog/website, if you have one.

When: You have until 11:59 pm on Wednesday, June 16th. I'll announce the five winning posts on Wednesday, June 23rd, and they'll be posted Monday, June 28th through Friday, July 2nd.

Where: Right here, on PMN!

Why: I'll be on vacation, Dr. Leo Marvin style. Do not come looking for me with an air (bus) sickness bag and a goldfish in a jar around your neck.

How: Please paste your post into the body of an e-mail and send it along to pimpmynovel [åt] gmail [døt] com (see link at right).

Let the games begin!

The Empire Expands

A few months ago, I mentioned the possibility of expanding PMN to Facebook and Twitter. Well, meine Freunde, that day has come! You are now free to follow me on Twitter, friend me on Facebook, and whatever else it is we kids are supposed to be doing on the Internet these days.

The blog will still be updating five days a week, and while some of that content will be duplicated on Twitter and Facebook, there will also be a fair amount of unique content on both (particularly Twitter, where I will probably rant in a much less coherent fashion than is the norm here). Not everything on the blog will be on Twitter/Facebook, and vice versa. There's also a distinct possibility that Twitter or FB content will appear on weekends, though I can guarantee that weekend posts won't be showing up on PMN proper (unless I get an intern or a butler or something).

Without further ado: the link to my Twitter account is here, and the Facebook page is here. Both are very much works in progress, so expect them to be streamlined and aesthetically improved with various widgets, &c over the coming days and weeks. Of course, all recommendations and advice are welcome in the comments.

To the Blogotwitterbookosphere!

Some Things I Might Know About Query Letters

As usual: caveat.

As you may have surmised by this point, I am not an agent! I have never been an agent, I'm not sure I'd ever want to be (or am cut out to be) an agent, and so there's no reason to think I ever will be an agent. Aside from having written a few dozen query letters in my day and reading many an agent blog, I have no direct experience with actual, paper-and-ink (or electron-and...more-electron) queries.

But! I have written pitch letters, and I do work in sales, so (to some extent) I'm very familiar with many of the basic components of query-writing and -reading, so I consider myself qualified to at least talk about the basics, which (as you may also have surmised) I now will.

Less is more. I'm led to believe that agents don't have a ton of free time. Your query, like a pitch letter or title presentation in a sales call, has to be short and sweet. Yes, there's more small talk and relationship-building between a sales rep and a buyer than between a potential client and an agent, but a good salesperson knows when to be social and when to be businesslike. I'm not saying not to have a little fun with your query; what I'm saying is, cut to the chase. Keep it under a page.

Be professional. This sort of ties into the above point, and it also kind of goes without saying, but it bears repeating. Besides being as brief as possible, you want to be polite and professional. Do not call your novel a "fiction novel," do not talk about how it's sure to be an instant bestseller, do not talk about your multiple academic degrees or your sunny disposition or your cat. Talk about your book, and if it's a non-fiction proposal, talk about yourself insofar as it pertains to the project you're pitching. That's it!

Personalize, personalize, personalize. Guess how many non-personalized pitch letters to editors, publicists, and other industry professionals go into the so-called circular file? Around 95 to 100 percent. It's the same deal with agents: don't be creepy and tell them how much you like the floral wallpaper in their living room and by the way could they please turn the TV toward the window so you can watch reruns of Get Smart with them, but at least do them the courtesy of addressing them by name (no "Dear Sir or Madam"s or "To Whom it May Concern"s) and demonstrating that you know something about them and their agency. Mention some titles they've represented that you liked! Tell them you thought their post on query letters was really helpful! Don't get carried away, but if you expect an agent to take the time to read your query (and hopefully, your partial and full), take the time to personalize your query.

Follow directions. Yes, it can be frustrating when one agent asks for a 300-word double-spaced query and another asks for a 500-word single-spaced query. Occasionally you will find that different agents want totally different—perhaps contradictory—things. But if you believe that agent is right for you, take the time to tailor your letter to their guidelines, which (one must assume) they have established for a reason. If they ask you to include the first ten pages, include the first ten pages, and don't send a writing sample (no matter how sorely tempted you may be to do so) if they specifically ask that you don't. You want to put your best foot forward from the get-go, and following an agent's guidelines is a very big and generally necessary component of achieving that.

Do your research. This ties into the above point, but in a more general sense. If an agent doesn't usually represent science fiction, your grand space opera spanning 10,000 years and a half-dozen galaxies probably won't interest him or her, and you'll likely waste both your and the agent's time by querying. If it's not clear from an agent's guidelines or title list whether they represent your genre, by all means, go ahead and query anyway; however, 90% of the time, you should be able to figure out whether an agent will be interested in your type of project based on his/her (agency's) website. You're not looking for just any agent, after all—you're looking for a business partner, one who's genuinely interested in your work and willing to champion it to an editor. In short, you're looking for a good match.

Know how to sell your product. Sure, you know your product; after all, you wrote your book, so you know it better than anyone. Your knowledge of your book isn't being tested, though, but rather, your knowledge of how to present it. If I'm writing a pitch letter, it's not enough that I know everything about the title I'm trying to push—I have to know the best way to position it and anticipate what will catch the reader's eye and hold his or her attention. You need to know that about your product—your book—as well. Where's your hook? What sets your paranormal romance apart from all the other paranormal romances currently on the market? Don't start crunching BookScan numbers or hypothesizing about your target audience, but grab and hold the agent's attention with a great opening line and a well-paced, concise description that leaves him or her wanting to know more by the letter's end.

That's all I've got for you, gentle readers, and I hope it's not a total rehash of all the query advice you've gotten before. As always, if you have any questions or comments—or even rebuttals, calls of shenanigans, or plain old-fashioned vitriol—fire away!

Prithee, Convince Me: Self-Publishing

I've written more posts than I can count on the tragical comedie of ye olde self-publishinge, and some of you have not been afraid to tell me what's what when it comes to printing and selling your own books.

So, prithee, convince me, dear self-pubbers: why are you so sold (pun intended) on self-publishing, and why (or in what specific cases) do you think it should be considered a viable alternative to traditional (Big Six, indie, or otherwise) publishing?

Have at it!

Prithee, Inform Me: The Face of the Industry

In a follow-up to yesterday's post, I feel obligated to mention this snarky article in The Atlantic detailing what, exactly, the breakdown behind a book's overhead costs looks like. Suffice it to say, Michael Kinsley is incorrect; he has allocated far too little money towards alcohol.

All joking aside, author-acquaintances, I do sometimes wonder whether the public perception of publishing is that the average industry professional does nothing but chomp cigars, swill martinis, and go to fancy parties on the house's dollar. While this may be true of certain individuals and may have been the case in the past, I don't think it really applies to the industry today, especially given the recession and the cutbacks that have been necessary to keep many an operation afloat. We're not exactly giving out million-dollar bonuses over here.

Therefore! Prithee, inform me, gentle readers: do you think publishing professionals are viewed as entitled, possibly wasteful elitists by The Average Jo(sephin)e? Or are we recognized as the dedicated, oft-underpaid champions of literature we generally are?

Prithee, Inform Me: What Makes a Good Story?

Confession time.

I was a holdout on Lost for a long time. I watched the pilot and the first few episodes and wasn't hooked. Over the past few years I've seen a handful of episodes from different seasons and, though I enjoyed speculating about what that crazy smokey dragon is or whether Richard Alpert is wearing guyliner, I still didn't get the appeal and was not drawn into the byzantine and myriad plots or the strange mythos of THE ISLAND ZOMG. I kept thinking to myself, "What, Gilligan's Island meets Myst? Surely you jest, J.J.!"

However.

I did watch the "summary" hour before this season's premier, and now I feel I've got enough information to really enjoy the show. Some people have derided me for doing this, since I apparently lack the patience and focus to watch a show that generates ten questions for every answer it provides for five. Whole. Years.

This got me thinking, then, author-acquaintances (thanks, Le R!): would you read Lost if it were a book? (Sidebar: I really enjoyed Mark Danielewski's House of Leaves, which is the closest thing to Lost-as-a-book that I can think of.) In the case of Lost, however, you'd have (in my opinion) a book with an infinitely long introduction, a well-paced (though brief) climax, and a rushed and unsatisfying denouement (my prediction, based on Alias), not to mention a cast of characters that is way too large and unwieldy. Yeah, The Simpsons can pull it off, but they've been on the air for twenty years. Baby steps.

Therefore, prithee, inform me: what, in general, makes a good story (apart from—or perhaps in spite of—the oft-heard elements of "rich characters, engaging plot," &c)? What about a book makes you read it, re-read it, love it, recommend it?

Q&A Tuesday

Do you have a lingering question about the industry that I've thus far neglected to answer? A definition of a term (this industry is rich with fancy jargon, if not actual money)? An explanation of a process? A query about... queries?

I won't really be of much help to you on that last one, but if you've got questions... well, that's understandable. Ask in the comments before the stroke of midnight tonight, and I'll answer in tomorrow's post!

The Dad Lunch Round-Up: Redux

Laura is unavailable this fine morning, ladies and gents, so I will be in charge of the frivolity and general broings-on today. What does that mean? Well, a round-up, but one that is less informative and more ridiculous than my last one (since it wasn't "fun" enough, according to some people).

Tallyho!

While having a drink with an industry professional or two last night, the subjects of (surprise!) literature and poetry came up. So, in the spirit of including you all in my after-hours life, I ask you: what do you think of bad poetry jokes? (Answer: all of McSweeney's lists are pretty great.) Twitter now sports the longest poem in the world, and (because I actually can't help but be informative), an NEA survey (warning: long .pdf) says that poetry reading is on the decline. O, fie! O most wicked speed!

In more mash-up news, the quirky folks who brought you Pride and Prejudice and Zombies will be releasing Android Karenina in June. (Do you hear that? That's Tolstoy hitting 1,000 RPM in his grave.) I am delighted to report, however, that the Internet (hallowed be Thy name) has recently gifted me with a brilliant non-mash-up parody, The Two Gentlemen of Lebowski, which is what The Big Lebowski would look like if Shakespeare had written it. Pure comic genius.

In case you missed The Rejectionist's posts on what not to write about, Vice Magazine has a few more ideas. Caveat: I guess you could write about these things if you were to do it in a new and interesting way, but since almost nobody does, best to steer clear.

Finally, in the miscellaneous-and-mildly-soul-crushing category, the slush pile is dead (so get an agent!), the French are trying to socialize e-books (that ain't ne'er gon' happen here in 'MERICA), and some poets are murderers.

Have a great weekend!

Out With the Aughts, In With the Teens

Christmas turkey: consumed, tenth anniversary of the apocalypse: celebrated, and now our regularly scheduled programming: back in full force. Thanks again to our three guest posters from last month, and I hope you all had enjoyable holiday breaks!

I figured I'd ease back into the publishing biz with today's post (it is, after all, the first Monday of the new year), partly because I don't trust myself to write a thoughtful and engaging industry-related post so early in said new year (I'm still accidentally writing "2001" on all my checks), but mostly because I am distracted by 1.) all the cool toys I got last week and 2.) the mounting feeling of dread associated with coming back to an overflowing inbox at Ye Olde Publishinge House. Therefore, I present to you my resolutions for the new year and humbly request that you do the same in the comments:

1. Read all the books on the Modern Library Best 100 Novels list that I haven't already read. (Ambition level on a scale of 1 to 10: 7.)

2. Get back to exercising regularly. (Ambition level: 5.)

3. Drink more wine (hopefully learning something about it in the process) so I can make a cool bulletin board out of all the corks. (Ambition level: 3.)

4. Make good on my threat of buying myself an Xbox 360. (Ambition level: 2.)

5. Finish the Current Novels-in-Progress—yes, sirs and madams, I am a noveliste as well! (Ambition level: 12.)

What about you?

Monday Mailbag: Guest Post Edition

That's right, mes auteurs, I'm looking for guest posts to cover three days before Christmas (12/21 - 12/23) during which I'll happen to be on vacation. The magic of the guest post is how this blog got started in the first place, so I figure the least I can do is pay it forward.

Who: You.
What: Three guest posts from three different authors (details below).
When: You'll need to submit before high noon (12:00 PM ET) on Wednesday, 12/16 in order for me to make decisions and announcements the following day.
Where: Right here on PMN.
Why: I'll be on vacation! Also, reruns are boring.
How: Submit your guest post via e-mail to pimpmynovel (at) gmail (dot) com (please put "Guest Post Submission" in the subject line). I'll let you know if I select your work on Wednesday evening, will announce the winners in Thursday's post, and will run the three guest posts consecutively on Monday, 12/21, Tuesday, 12/22, and Wednesday, 12/23, followed by complete holiday-induced radio silence from yours truly until Monday, 1/4/2010.

Let the games begin!

The Dad Lunch Round-Up

Laura is out of town for the weekend, muchachos and muchachas, so I'll be handling this week's round-up. And, just like when your mom was sick and your dad packed your school lunch for you, it's going to be a little weird, vaguely unsatisfying, and possibly downright awkward ("you have to put the soup in something, Dad").

Onward!

If you've recently been reading the newly fancified blog of one Nathan Bransford, you'll know that the question of publishers delaying e-book releases is on the mind of many a publishing professional this season. What do you think? Are publishers only doing themselves harm by releasing e-versions of books months after the hardcovers go on sale? (And speaking of fancification, both Nathan and The Rejectionist have given their blogs serious e-makeovers. Will PMN be next?)

But yes, back to e-book delays—with several of the large New York houses getting in on the act, it's sure to add fuel to the fire concerning the Kindle (pun intended) and Amazon's eventual takeover of planet Earth. Then again, some are speculating that Apple will be our new Cosmic Overlord, not Amazon or Google, so be on the lookout for that in 2010.

While we're on the subject of the death of print media, I've got some good news and bad news. First, the bad: Editor & Publisher and Kirkus Reviews will be shutting down at the end of this year, which is kind of an ominous omen. The good: hardcover sales of Ted Kennedy's True Compass are so good that his publisher is delaying the release of the paperback. Thanks, Oprah!

The holiday season is all about buying, and for those of you who are curious, Bloomberg just bought a news company, more New York Times reporters are accepting buyouts, and nobody wants to buy Borders UK. Random House hasn't bought anyone new lately, but they have restructured the Crown Publishing Group, a continuation of the corporate shuffle initiated by CEO and Chairman Markus Dohle just about a year ago.

As I've mentioned before, books are great gifts, and now is the time to stock up on works (electronic or otherwise) by your favorite author(s). It's H.P. Lovecraft Month at Tor.com, there's going to be a PBS biopic about Louisa May Alcott, Jonathan Safran Foer talks about the morality of vegetarianism, and the epic battle for Stieg Larsson's estate continues. Oh, the humanity!

Seriously, though, what are you still doing here? I said "now is the time!" Counting today, there are only fourteen more shopping days until Christmas (and only one until Hanukkah). Leave work early, grab a stiff cup of nog, and hit the stores.

Happy weekend, everyone!

Stealing a Page From the Bransford Playbook

The holiday season is upon me in full force, friends and fans, so today is an open thread. I'll be back tomorrow, but in the meantime: have at it!

Are You... Going Rogue?

A little over a month ago, I posted on the then-upcoming (now recently released) memoir of one Sarah Palin. I also mentioned that I didn't know of anyone who would read it and was skeptical as to how well it would sell.

Well, apparently, it's selling. And while I did admit that I expected significant sales outside of so-called liberal bastions like New York City, apparently it's also selling well in cities like New York. And, as usual, I have a couple of theories as to why.

• I massively underestimated the number of curious independents—and even liberals—willing to shell out to read about Sarah Palin. Whether they're just angling for her side of the story or looking for a (relatively) inexpensive way to feel better about themselves, people are picking up her memoir.
• There's more controversy surrounding the book than even I expected, and I expected a fair amount. I figured, however, that Mrs. Palin wouldn't want to write anything that might endanger a potential presidential bid in 2012, so the book itself would be fairly boring and drama-free. Not so! Palin takes shots at McCain staffers, apparently stretches the truth, and may well still be gunning for the presidency. Quel fromage.
• Both Amazon and Walmart.com are selling the book for just $14.50. Sure, it's not the low, low price of $9.99 we've been hearing about, but it's still relatively inexpensive, especially if it's being bought as a gift. Books are the new gift, people! Write that down.

So, yes, I did ask this in my last Palin Post™, but it bears asking again (especially since I get the feeling opinions may have changed): are you going to buy Going Rogue? If you answered last time and are changing your mind this time around, why? Have you been surprised by friends' or family members' requests for the book for Christmas? Hanukkah? Kwanzaa? Festivus?

In the Year 2029

Full disclosure, mes amis: this post on THE FUTURE OF PUBLISHING (patent pending) is pure speculation on my part. Informed speculation, to be sure, but speculation nonetheless. So, now that you've taken your mandatory grains of salt, come with me on a journey to...

THE YEAR 2029

In the year 2029, the power of wireless Internet, Amazon, and Google (among newer and even more fantastic companies and services) will have taken connectivity to a new level. We could have search engines in our contact lenses, people! True, video or Matrix-style virtual reality may have largely replaced today's text-based Internet by then, but I'm betting there will still be text involved, and therefore (drumroll, please): reading!

Google's and Amazon's Sith-level grips on electronic books may well still be holding (fun activity: which is the master and which is the apprentice?), meaning that between them, a huge and continuously growing volume of e-books will be available on-line. Mix that with paper-thin, flexible, full-color e-readers (or those mega sweet contact lenses I just mentioned) and you've got almost any book you could ever hope to read wirelessly available almost instantly.

Will piracy be a problem? Absolutely—in twenty years, I expect the publishing industry to be suffering the same issues as the music industry in terms of illegal downloads and pirated materials. Ninja DRM and lawsuits from publishers/copyright holders/author estates will hopefully be enough to deter some pirates, but certainly not all.

Now, as we have seen, there are always going to be early adopters, late adopters, and non-adopters of new technologies, meaning that there will probably still be folks reading paper books in the far-flung year of 2029. I'm pretty sure that's going to be those of us who are college-age or older now, since we have a significant attachment to print books. But those three-year-olds you see running around now? They'll be fresh college graduates with almost no knowledge of The World Before E-Books. They saw us using e-readers when they were tots and thought they were cool. They probably got their own e-readers in middle school. Heck, they might not have ever even touched a physical book in all four years of college. Sure, a few young fogeys might think "p-books" are cool and retro or whatever, but most will view them as archaic and hard to use. (There's no search function on a paperback.)

I think hardcover books will swiftly become novelties, so only a few very small publishers will continue to produce them. For those of us who actually want to read physical books, POD will likely have become the norm, since dwindling demand will long since have forced houses and booksellers to abandon the current mega-print-run-and-returns model. If you want a physical book, you order it, it gets printed just for you, and that's that.

The good news for publishers and agents: I still think we'll need you in the astoundingly distant year of 2029! Roles will have changed drastically, though. Agents will be needed to negotiate royalties & contracts, filter out the detritus, and scout out the self-published stuff that's actually good; publishers will be needed to provide editing, marketing, and publicity services (viral media blitzes and e-co-op, if you will). The industry will be generally more compact, but will still exist and, hopefully, be thriving.

Oh, and I almost forgot the best part: in 2029, all you author folk will be making six-figure advances! Hooray for inflation!

Prithee, Inform Me: What Interests Ye?

Special announcement! PMN has been shortlisted for Best Publishing/Industry Blog over at Book Blogger Appreciation Week (we got a great button from them, which I'll add to the blog ASAP), so if PMN has been of help to you, I'd be eternally grateful if you'd vote for us! Many thanks in advance. This blog wouldn't be possible without you.

Now, it's been awhile since I've asked you what you'd like me to blog about, so I figure I'll open the gates once more. Do you want to know what I do all day (besides blog, that is)? What the Dan Brown juggernaut (just one week away!) will do to the market? More on e-books? More doom and gloom on the state of the industry?

Prithee, inform me (in the comments)!

Finally, the Fame & the Glory

After all the blood, ink, and tears I've put into this blog and my job as a sales assistant in the wild and crazy world of publishing, CBS has decided to air a show about my life. And by "air a show about my life" I mean "air a show about the world of book publishing":

The project, tentatively titled "Open Books," has received a pilot commitment from the network. It revolves around book editor June and her circle of friends.

"Books" is inspired by the time Lerner spent as a temp in the publishing world at the beginning of her career and by the experiences of her sister Betsy, who worked as a book editor for 15 years before becoming a literary agent.

I have no idea how accurate or entertaining this show will be, but I think it's worth seeing the pilot. No word on a date for said pilot, but I'll keep you posted. On the one hand, I'm hopeful that a really good show about the publishing world will not only make for great TV, but will also educate people about how the industry works and, to some extent, get people excited about reading. On the other hand, if it's mega boring, it might do more harm than good. Thoughts?