Honest, direct, yet gentle: Raleigh Episcopal priest pens picture book to explain death, grief to kids

From North Carolina-

The subject of death, dying and grief has intrigued Mary Davila since she was at least an undergraduate student at the University of Richmond, willingly getting up to take an early morning class on the topic during her senior year.

The lessons from the class intrigued Davila - and have served her well in her current career. Davila has been an Episcopal priest for 13 years and served as a children's minister before she went to seminary. Today, she's assistant rector at Christ Church in Raleigh and the co-author of a new picture book called "Grandpa's Tent" about grief.

More here-

 https://www.wral.com/honest-direct-yet-gentle-raleigh-episcopal-priest-pens-picture-book-to-explain-death-grief-to-kids/17826026/

The Holy Work of Grieving

From Communicating Across Boundries-

Two days ago, my friend’s dad died. In twenty first century vernacular – she “lost” her dad. “Lost” is such a silly thing to say – like she needs to just go searching for him and she will find him; like it’s a child’s game of hide ‘n seek.

“Lois – just look for him! I’m sure you’ll find him.”

My dark humor comes through as I think about this. We humans delight in deceiving ourselves about death and loss by using words that are ambiguous and sweetly horrid.

As I heard the news, I immediately revisited my dad’s death and the resulting losses. The first picture taken of Lois and me together was on the banks of the Dead Sea. Each of us is holding hands with our dads. Our dads are so young and so alive. Two adventurers – as at home in Pakistan and Jordan as they were in the United States. They lived between worlds – learning languages with sounds that seemed impossible, deciphering a script that was completely foreign, and traveling to places that topped the U.S State Department watch list. They learned about Middle Eastern hospitality; about what it was to send their children to boarding schools; and about friendship in a Middle Eastern context. Most of all, they learned what it is to follow a faith until the end and to never give up.

More here-

https://communicatingacrossboundariesblog.com/2018/01/25/the-holy-work-of-grieving/

Understanding Grief

From The New York Times-

Although many of us are able to speak frankly about death, we still have a lot to learn about dealing wisely with its aftermath: grief, the natural reaction to loss of a loved one.

Relatively few of us know what to say or do that can be truly helpful to a relative, friend or acquaintance who is grieving. In fact, relatively few who have suffered a painful loss know how to be most helpful to themselves.

Two new books by psychotherapists who have worked extensively in the field of loss and grief are replete with stories and guidance that can help both those in mourning and the people they encounter avoid many of the common pitfalls and misunderstandings associated with grief. Both books attempt to correct false assumptions about how and how long grief might be experienced.

More here-

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/01/15/well/live/understanding-grief.html

To Those Christians Who Say, “God Doesn’t Give Us More Than We Can Handle”

From Patheos-

So, when someone is going through a really hard time you’ve been known to say, “God doesn’t give us more than we can handle” from time to time.

You mean well, I get it. You’re trying to encourage and comfort, and certainly your intent is good. Back in the day I said that as well.

When people are going through a difficult and painful life chapter, it can make those on the peripheral of a painful story deeply uncomfortable. It’s hard to watch others who are hurting, and it’s even harder knowing that we might not have any real solutions that would lessen their pain or improve their plight.

So, we “appeal to the mysterious” when all things tangible come up empty.

“God doesn’t give us more than we can handle” somehow flows from the lips of the one who wants to comfort, but who subconsciously knows nothing will.


Read more at

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/formerlyfundie/christians-say-god-doesnt-give-us-can-handle/#YKkKDApthIDtWYWz.99

After Great Pain, Where Is God?

From The New York Times-

These days I find I’m more alert to the grief and sorrow around me than I once was. In part it’s a product of my age, of youth giving way. I’m guessing my situation is not that different from many of yours.

Last month I checked in on a childhood friend whose 13-year-old son committed suicide last year after struggling with a brain injury. He told me, “I’ve stopped crying every day, which is a major transition.” He added, “I spent more than a year trying to get him well and keep him alive, and only in recent days have I finally, mostly, lost that mode of thinking. I don’t have to do anything now because I can’t.” Yet in his dreams, my friend said, his son is still alive and he’s checking on him to make sure he’s O.K.

Another lifelong friend recently died of colon cancer. His wife wrote to me: “I wish I could tell you that we are walking this journey with courage and faith, but that really doesn’t describe our situation at all. The outward courage feels like a ruse to convince ourselves that this immense pain will subside in time, and the weakness of our faith is showing us its shallow limits.”

More here-

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/03/25/opinion/sunday/after-great-pain-where-is-god.html?smid=fb-share

Have you ever thought you would like to write your own Psalm?

From Missouri-

There are a lot of people dealing with grief who may benefit from a workshop being offered Saturday at Christ Episcopal Church, said Father Jonathan Frazier.

Attendees don’t need to be members of the church, or even be religious, said Frazier.

Christ Episcopal is offering two free writing workshops Saturday presented by internationally known speaker and writer Ray McGinnis.

McGinnis, who lives in Canada, is the author of “Writing the Sacred: A Psalm-inspired Path to Appreciating and Writing Sacred Poetry.” He travels the world doing a series of “Write to the Heart” workshops and has had more than 13,000 workshop attendees since 1999.

“He visited our cathedral in Kansas City a year ago and people were raving about him and I thought, ‘Well, what if we bring him to this part of the state,’” said Frazier.

More here-

http://www.news-leader.com/story/life/faith/2015/04/24/ever-thought-like-write-psalm/26323551/