5 sexy do's for Bhutan

1. First you need to learn about Drukpa Kuenlay, also known as the Divine Madman, Bhutan's favorite Lama. Drukpa Kuenlay came to Bhutan from Tibet in the 15th century armed with a bow and arrow, which he magically used to find suitable virgins to have sex with. Whomever the arrow pointed at, Drukpa Kuenlay would hump.

2.Upon visiting the temple of Drukpa Kuenlay in Punakha get a blessing from the temple's Lama, who is considered to be a re-incarnation of the Divine Madman. The Lama will give you some holy water to sip and rub into your eyes and hair. Then he will tap you head with Divine Madman's origininal bow and two wooden dildos! I promise that it will be a deeply spiritual experience.

3. If you ever wanted children then this is the best place in the world to pray for having one, so pray! The Bhutanese believe that spending a night in the temple will guarantee a child, and they'll be more than happy to tell you how many Western women have found help in this temple after having gone through fruitless fertility treatments for years. If you don't have the time to mull around the temple for long, just get the blessing from the Lama. Even that will help.

4. Should you want to know that your prayers have been answered you need to ask the Lama to let you play dice. Roll the three in pursuit of the sum total of nine, the most auspicious number in the temple. You may guess which number I got...

5. After visiting the temple join the Bhutanese in their belief that painting a huge phallos symbol next to the entrance to your house is not only funny but the best way to keep your home a happy place. How indeed could you be miserable if everytime you went home you were greated by an ejaculating phallos which looks like it's grinning? Screw Feng Shui - phallos points the way to perfect decoration.