Psst!

Achtung, Baby! Go check this site out. The guy has got stellar taste in music. If you don't know these bands...you should!

Irony Should Be A Four Letter Word

Reference previous post. Then reference "The Grand Facade" post. Which references an earlier post via a link.

I turn on my web radio to KNRK (which you should immediately visit and sign up to listen to online) and what are they playing?

Born of Frustration - James
Oh and the ex just logged back on Yahoo.


God has a sick sense of humor.

/hiding under desk

A Moratorium On Calvin For Men

Seriously. It is trailing me. The concert the other night was awesome. Outdoor music is the way to go. The smells are what stuck with me the most. Beer, cut grass, Grass grass, wet dirt, wild roses. And the damn cologne the ex BF wore. Combined with the odd status message he had up that day on Yahoo, and there ya have it. Oh and of course the fact that the last time I was at that venue was my wedding reception to the ex husband. And it was the anniversary too!

Lucky 13.

Oy.

On the subject of smells though, is there really anything out there more powerful when it comes to bringing back memories? It's smells and music in a tie for first place for me. And God forbid we get them both at once.

Back to work, lunch is over. Going to stick a clothes pin on my nose now and try not to think about any of it.

Lust For Life

It's Alive! Alive!

I be back to quote the Gov. Super quick post as I am under the gun deadline time. Twisted ankle sidelined me yesterday. I do have thoughts from the concert and possibly even deep ones, but at the risk of rushing it and sounding like a Hallmark card I shall hold off. Lunch!

I'm Only Happy When It Rains

Or not. I have an outdoor concert. On lawn! And this one just does not have that Woodstock 2 mud bog fight vibe.

Side note, I really gotta hunt up my Garbage CD!

Shut Your Mouth, Try Not To Panic

Good God I am feeling so stressed these days. Totally under the gun. I have too much to do and too little time to do it in. GAH!!!!

Freak out done. My natural Scarlett O'Hara "I'll think about it tomorrow" instinct is kicking in. It is that or the coffee. I gotta get a grip. It is getting really old to wake up and realize that a month is gone and you really have nothing to remember it by. I am marking time till I can move, that is true, but I seriously need to get some balance going here. Did I mention I need a vacation?

I am still hopeful of Hawaii in April of next year. Kiddobean is clamoring to go back to Atlanta, which of course I'd love to do. Maybe shoot for that next summer. Yes I said summer. In the South. I like humidity. Sue me.

Speaking of marking time, today would be my 13th wedding anniversary. Technically it still is as the ex husband and I are legally not ex'd at all. I paid once, people. Not my problem if the child rearing as divorced parents classes were missed. I had a mom in traction and the ex is the ex. Even he admits he is totally unorganzied. So legally we are still married. Without said classes, the decree ain't gonna get signed. And now I'd have to pay again. Haven't lived together for six and a half years, but still hitched.

The upside of it is that it keeps me from doing anything stupid, like deciding to give the state of matrimony another whirl. Face it, people, if I am too stupid to date, it's a safe friggin bet I am WAY too dumb to marry. He doesn't seem to in any hurry cause it sure is a conversation stopper to any woman he dates when the whole "let's get hitched" convo comes up.

Add to that we are both monumentally lazy :p

It is kinda amusing though. But I have never been very conventional, so why should my split be any different? It's taken over 6 years but these days we get along just fine.

Miss H is thinking of setting up a blog. Would do her a shit load of good. She has too much going on and needs a way to express it. Writing works wonders for that.

We now return you to your regularly schedule lives.

Concert!

Seeing a concert tomorrow at the Edgefield with H. Gonna hit the X for drinks before had. I am betting I will look like 50 miles of hard road on Wednesday. C'est la vie! Eek..I will miss Rockstar as well. That means I gotta figure out that damn VCR thing.

Dealing with the "what the hecks" right now. As in "what the heck should I do about dinner?" Small child is at home hopefully doing something to her room. Pleas Lord let her have made some progress. And TV tonight is grim. I miss Hell's Kitchen =(

Wait...is Anthony on? Must research!

10pm! Dammit! So much for bed early. It is India too, and I am pretty sure I have seen that one. Enough rambles. I am starving.

Over and out.

Quickie

I am PISSED that Hugh Laurie was not even nominated for an Emmy for House. Kiefer blah blah blah. I will forever and alway see him as this:

And The Grand Facade, So Soon Will Burn

Ever wake up and feel like your mind has been turned into a whirlpool? Well that is how I feel. Too much going on, what with back to school and kiddo's schedule being all over the board with her dad and I. Gah.

Plus I have had less than fab dreams. And I blame my Gramps for them. But not in a bad way. He just brought up the subject, my psyche does the rest. He brought up the subject of the ex (husband and boyfriend variety) and of course I got all bummed. Bout the BF variety not the husband. Husband I get along with all dandy like now. Ex BF I still am angry about. It would so help if I could just hate his guts, ya know? Or hey...if he got a job! Back story or a least previous rant available here.

On that note, I want coffee and a smoke.

Grr.

Mondays!

Free Your Mind And Your Ass Will Follow

1. Visit :: airplane


2. Cake :: chocolate


3. Period :: ?


4. Triumphant :: gleeful


5. Screen :: numbers


6. Neglect :: empty


7. Guitar :: strings


8. Loathe :: okra


9. Sugar :: spice


10. Montage :: melange

Your Turn!

WWJB?

Who Would Jesus Bomb?

Saw that on a bumpersticker today and it just tickled me. People who know me (or think they do) would find it hard to believe that not only do I believe in God and Jesus, my faith is really very strong. I just have really really big issues with organized religions. Any organized religion. A Christian fanatic is just as repugnant to me as a Jewish, Muslim, Taoist, or Wiccan one would be. God really deserves a much better PR firm.

Truth be told I am not big on organizations in general. Anyone who can get their ass kicked out of Girl Scouts is pretty much destined to spend their life as poster child for "Does not play well with others." I just ain't a joiner. And apparently the GS found "Sodomy" from the soundtrack to the Broadway musical "Hair" to be an inappropriate campfire song. "Make new friends" my fat white ass. The falsity of playing buddy buddy with the popular plastic girls who teased the hell out of those of us not in their cliques during school hours. What can I say, I got spiteful due to the sugary sweet hypocrisy. The choice was to get kicked out or develop juvenile diabetes. Of course I could have politely quit, but where's the fun in that?!!?

Went to breakfast with my grandfather this morning, his treat cause he is a sweetie like that. Now all I want is a nap. Seeing as I am at the office working, or about to be once I leave the cyberhood, I won't be getting one. Home is just a mess right now thanks to small child's room revamp. There is glitter all over my hall bathroom. I mean all over. I have glitter in unmentionable place as I write this. Festive? Yes. Wanted? Not really. Or at least not under these circumstances.

Ah...the burble of the coffee pot. Off to wantonly kill more trees.

I'm Too Sexy For My Shoes

Of course I am not too sexy for my shoes. In my current state I am about as sexy as, oh I don't know, an old terrycloth bathrobe.

BUT! I have shoes. Yes yes, hippy dippy hug a tree shoes, but they help my lower back not feel like I have been kicked by a mule. What with the shoes and the super yummy albacore tuna salad sandwich courtesty of Nordstroms cafe, I feel human. More than human. More human than the human.

Shit. I need to go buy that cd!

Shoes, Glorious Shoes!

Yeah I know, it should read food and not shoes. But, see, I am getting shoes and that makes me oh so very excited. Courtesy of my Maman. She has gone hog wild on my child and apparently the guilt of not getting me anything has hit her like a ton of bricks. All which spells "HOORAY!!!" for me. I love shoes. I truly love them. Like ice cream. Or chocolate. Or men. But I have shoes that have lasted me longer than any guy so perhaps that was an insult to my shoes!

I am a certified shoe ho and not afraid to admit it. I don't buy them for myself. I have a kid, people. All my disposable and juggled cash goes to provisioning the widget. So the fact that I am getting new shoes is making weak in the knees. For that I will brave the mall. I hate the mall. And I look like shit. That is not the usual womanly, "oh this old thing?" bullshit line either. I got dirty jeans, a tye dyed t-shirt and my kids platform flip flops on. We are talking road hard and put away wet look. Minus any riding.

But for shoes? I will suffer the slings and arrows of overly coiffed suburban bitches.

Did I mention she is throwing in a free lunch as well?

YIPPEE!

Well Slap My Ass And Call Me Nancy

I won something. And it was a nice something too. I won a Barista Grande from Starbucks. Well made by them, won here at work. Got a raffle ticket for every coffee foo foo drink I bought. Mind you, I am not one of those half caff, non-fat, splash sugar free vanilla, slight foam, with a twist coffee freaks. I am with Foamy on that one kthx. Generally I like coffee flavored coffee. But that won't get you a ticket so I have been forced to buy the triple shot Americano instead of plain ole java. Paid off!

Short and sweet today as I am walking around in a Valium haze. Mondo back spasm and deconstruction kidlets loft bed last night did NOT help. I have been fighting this back spasm the last 3 days and that was the final straw.

This Ain't No Party

So, wow. Rockstar last night was interesting. Now I am well aware of the power of fancy footwork editing, but wow. Just wow. Dilana was most def not coming off well there. I think Lucas is a screechy little hoot monkey poseur with bad hair and a conflicted fashion sense, myself. I can say that cause I ain't here to win a popularity contest. And kiddo just loathes him. But Dilana's smartassed "mama dove" comments were gag inducing. The only thing I think she did nail about him was that they are both alike. Ego, party of two, your table is ready.

I watched Project Runway too, and found that to be wowish as well. It was my night to have the peeps I like act badly.

I like Jeffrey. How could I not like Punk Rock Boy? I could see his point about Angela's mom. And frankly if Angela had instructed her mom to fuxor Jeffrey in this challenge, it would not shock me in the least. I think Angela is a whining little bitch. I would happily pay per view Angela choking on one of those stupid flowerette crap things she tacks on everything. But Jeffy just opened mouth and inserted foot in such a huge way. I was nearly certain he'd get the boot for that. Fortunately it was Robert who went. Or unfortunately. Angela should have gone instead of Robert. He may have been a bit yawn inducing but Angela makes clothes for circa 1985 hookers.

And I just don't get Uli. I keep waiting for a macrame bra. /shudder

JAVA!

I depart now.

WTF?

G'Damn. Since this post already has a pussy theme going, I am gonna come right out and say it. That neighbor lady needs to get laid.

I, I'm A Little Divided

I love airports. I was pondering that this morning on my way to work. Crawling along like a wee slug in traffic and watching the jet planes overhead. I adore airports. You could blindfold me, block out all sound and drop me in an airport, any airport, and I'd know where I was the instant I smelled the inside of the place.

They all smell the same. Jet fuel, recirculated air with a hint of swamp cooler, and loads of hyped up humanity. LOVE IT!

You don't have to be Freud to figure it out. I LOATHE this state and have since I got dumped here by my dying on the vine of groovy ex hippy parents. That was 1978. They turned to the dark side shortly after and become yuppies in the 80's. Mom got a Bimmer with a personalized license plate. On the 20th anniversary of Woodstock no less. Ouch. Did I mention the car was grey? Groovy color, eh?

I love airports because they represent running away from a place I have always hated. Even when I am coming back to Oregon, I still love the airport. It gave me a window to the outside world, even if only for a bit.

And yes I could have used Learning To Fly for the title snippet, but it just seemed so done, ya know?

Everyone Knows I'm In Over My Head

And losing my mind it would seem. Guess what was on last night...as in Tuesday night when it is usually on? Dead Like Me. Apparently I had a brain fart that led to my missing DLM rant yesterday. See what happens when I take 3 days off? I lose my edge, dammit!

Either that or the aluminium in my deoderant is pickling my brain.

Coffee time.

Die For Me Living Dead Girl

Ok...Where the hell was Dead Like Me last night? Huh? Dark Angel? All friggin night? Do I look like some sad sack fucker with a bottle of lotion and a Jessica Alba fixation? Not nice mister program director and scifi...not nice at all. And I see tonight that Rock Star is on later due to some schmaltzy special thing. Whoopee.

At least last night I did get the chance to watch the Anthony Bourdain in Beirut episode. That had to suck. Go for a show, get a war on the house! I felt badly for his guide who talked about the new spirit in Lebanon only to have flag waving extremist drive by rejoicing over the kidnapping of those soldiers. You could tell by looking at the guy he knew that things were going to go to shit and soon.

Speaking of Anthony, I picked up his latest book The Nasty Bits this weekend and man o man is it addictive. I think Ye Olde Gordon Ramsay's writings may be next up on the list. I am a firm believer in the theory that the bigger an asshole he seems the better the chef is.

An now..home to a beer and book, kthx!

Giggle worthy

Some of those are just scary. Lindsay Lohan is more so than the rest simply because it works. "So much drama, so little time."

How Does It Feel? Real Real Real

So I finally got around to doing the meyers briggs test. Got kidlet to do her's as well. I was curious to see if my type would have changed at all from the first time I took the test about 10 years ago, but I remain the same. I am an INFP, or Healer Idealist based on the Jungian archtypes. Pretty much dead on for me. I have taken both the test on the keirsey site as well as this one and came up with INFP on both. This site also offers a test but it charges for it. So I recommending doing the above two test and then using the last site for the readings on your type. Kiddo bean ended up being an ENFJ which makes her an idealist as well. We are sympatico ;)

The ex of the husband variety was an INTJ if I remember correctly. Certainly sounds like one to me. Can't recall if the ex of the boyfriend variety ever took it or what he was if he did.

Beta. A Four Letter Word

So I see Blogger has a new Beta version. Beta freaks me out. Perhaps it was the nearly 5 years of playing Everquest and paying to be an unofficial beta tester all the time that did that to me. Who knows. The template changes look cool, but I am too chicken shit to mess with Beta anything.

Looooong week. Testing on the software here at work is done, but the printing issues remain. Joy.

In addition to that, I have been worrying about H. Her moms in law passed away last Sunday. Rosary mass is Friday night and funeral mass is Saturday. I'll be at the Friday night one and most likely at the Saturday as well. I just hope that H takes it easy on herself. She is so stubborn!

And if you read this Miss H....HUSH! You are TO stubborn.

Spending Monday next week part time at work (4 hours) and the rest of the day running around getting kidlet registered. More fun :P

Ok I am running behind. I keep meaning to do the Meyer Briggs test and post that link. Hopefully this weekend.I find those test fascinating.

Oh I Used To Be Disgusted And Now I Try To Be Amused

Ever have a day where everyone on the road is trying to kill you? It is like the world woke up today and decided I had a target on me. I nearly got creamed no less that 3 times in the 14 minute drive to the office today. Insane.

Small child called to gloat last night about her surf and turf dinner at the coast with my Mom. Those two beach blanket biatches better bring me back some carmel. Kidlet will be dropped off to me at some point this afternoon and then I think we are going to go get dinner and head home. Next week I get to deal with all the fun back to school stuff such as registering, and shot records and transcripts and backpacks and yada yada yada. I sure hope they let her go to the school that is right around the corner from our house rather than the one 5 miles away. That most certainly falls in the want in one hand universe since the decision is up to the government. Never a good sign!

Working both days this weekend. I am pondering applying for a new position here in the department. Filed under "Hrmmmm" for now.

But soft! What scent thru yonder hallway breaks? It is coffee and I am it's slave....
Tweaking the Willy, and I am not alone according to a news story I found on These Folks. That Festival sounds like a blast!

Hrm...FOAD Is Not Inspirational?

Which inspirational quote are you?



Destiny is not a matter of chance but of choice. Not something to wish for but to attain- William Jennings Bryan

That just sounds stressful

See These Eyes So Green

Well a four day non scheduled vacay. Home repair don't ya know.

Had a great time at H's house Friday. We have a scheduled massage, wrap and soak for Aug 21st at the hotsprings. J and Kiddlet will be coming along too. Spa day for the girls. Kiddo is beside herself. Quicky post for today as I am still fighting yesterdays headache of doom.

Watched Rockstar last night and Dead Like Me. I tried for Miami Ink but I was just way too pooped. Kidlet is back at her dad's and tomorrow she and my mom are taking off for an overnight at the beach. I am seriously overdue for a beach trip but I need to save up for back to school et al.

Oh on the plus side, H got a new computer and I am going to take her old one and her monitor and the ex thinks that between my old system and hers he can cobble together one for my house. Free or at the very least cheap is good for me. I am going to get him to set up the cable as well. For that, I will cook him cassoulet no problemo.

Sleep Sleep Tonight And May Your Dreams Be Realized

A late night post from the non at home computer owner. Spooky. This is of course coming courtesy of H's computer as I am spending the night. Had a lovely dinner and hung out as usual talking the night away. Helped her set up a blog of her own. Now we just need to spend some time customizing it. That will be another day. The plan is to get up early and go have breakfast at a little Russian cafe in Camas before I head off to work.

Tell you what is odd. The flashback sensation of sitting in the glow of a monitor in a dark room. Considering the hours I spent on Everquest I suppose a flashback or two is normal. I actually miss EQ. I had a blast on that game the first year or so. Well playing Sorchia and especially Starrlight. I have to be honest, that toon was by far the most fun to play. Until later 50+ levels when they nerfed my fucking mezz. Sony. Meh. Damn idiot ex BF. Meh x2.

But yes, the glow of the computer is causing me that weird deja vu sensation. Bet I have fucked up dreams of Fippy Darkpaw and his daily death. Hrmm...much like Starr's daily death. You'd think the poor fucker was an enchanter!

Oh The Devil Will Find Work For Idle Hands To Do

Fast post as I am outta here at 4 today. W, my co-worker has informed me I must go up to H's tonight even though we are due in tomorrow at 8. Which is good, since I have a nasty tendency to sacrifice my fun time for work time. With out her flogging me with the proverbial wet noodle, I'd just be here 10 hours today and another 10 tomorrow. Which is bleh.

I have a new spot I am dying to go vacation at. Puerto Rico. Watched Anthony Bourdain No Reservations last night and he was there. Lovely place. Any country that gives the world the Pina Colada is ok by me. And I love that show. Anthony is a foul mouthed smartass and I just love that in a man. Of course he is enhanced by actually having a job. Ahem. Minor ex rant digression. Forgive me.

His show in Sweden was a classic. Apparently he hates ABBA with a burning passion. Enough to toss an ax at their CD's while shouting "Mama Mia this, bitch." Now that is just funny. Which reminds me I need to share this show with H when I get there tonight. She is a no nonsense wench and I know she'd get it.

Over and out~

The Space That's In Between Insane And Insecure

Now there is a lyric that sums up my day. Co-worker drama, testing software drama, piece of crap print server drama. Lions and Tigers and Bears, OH MY!

Got in late today due to kiddoswap routine. And I am just not feeling overtime in me today. I am getting old, ya know?! Besides 5 years of this will burn a person out.

I pondered what I wrote last night about Blog guilt. Do I write this for me or do I write this for the occasional people (who never comment..come on people, I don't bite!) who land here and read my rambling thoughts? I suppose the long and short of it is, I write primarily for myself because I need to.

I was a journal keeping fiend from the age of 11 on. Putting my take on my little world view into words has always been a form of therapy for me. Vent and move on. I do try to write with an ear for others though. Personal inner brain-code and my own rambling thoughts would be awful to have to read and I know it. Like Faulkner on caffiene.

There's a scary thought!

Watched Rockstar last night. Why oh why must we continue to endure Zayra? She borrows portions of her vocals from Bjork and way too fucking much of her wardrobe from Cher. Which is probably the reason she is still there. Oh the power of the pussy. Slap a strip of leopard printed electricians tape up it and sing sing sing. Never mind that your voice is crap crap crap. Blech.

As The 10th Impact Shimmered The Forbidden Candles Beamed

This is a guilt post. Seriously, I am exhausted but I feel guilt over not actually writing anything. Gah. Blog guilt =(

On the plus side I got my first issue of Gothic Beauty yesterday and I had a nice evening reading and watching Rockstar Supernova. Go Storm Go! Although I like Dilana.

Anyhow, the mag is really lovely. Nice glossy pages and a great interview with Poppy Z. Brite. I highly recommend it. And gorgeous models and clothes.

Oh and something really really bad was advertised. Not bad as in awful, but bad as in, "damn I could get obsessed by this idea" kinda bad. That would be spending Halloween in Dracula's castle. The really real one. Kidlet was into that idea too.

And now, I have put forth words to page so I am outta here. The Big Salad awaits.