I Want To Play The Game, I Want The Friction

So. My boss made me the Safety Committee member for our department and the "Accident Prevention Coordinator." Me. Grace. The Girl Who Twists Ankles Standing Still (that's my native american name.) is gonna prevent injuries?

And do you want to know who's fault it is? It's my ex's. Yup this is all his fault. I told him he was Voodoo Man and to put down the damn doll already. Back story, Kidlet smooched her foot last week. When I dropped her off and told him about it, he announced it was because she had my bad ankles. Nevermind the guy has walked off a cliff himself. Her klutziness is not all my fault. Although he blames his numerous accidents on "poor impulse control." And beer :P

So he has to bring up the time I stood up and somehow ripped every freakin tendon in my foot. Which promptly turned black. I snorted and made comments. Then I went home. I was minding my own business when I stood up from the couch (I think I am allergic to them) and whamo, pulled/yanked/ripped whatever something in my right ankle. Which then got all swollen.

So I told him about it yesterday and he told me it was my own fault for mocking him and to be nice to him or he'd remind me of all the other issues I have. 2 hours later I get this fine new job duty. Me. Preventing accidents. I emailed him and told him it was all his fault. He emailed me back and asked if it was ok he was laughing his ass off. Then he and kidlet called me and laughed at me! And my mom laughed at me. And my co-worker Peggie laughed at me.

I am the female Rodney Dangerfield.

Just cause it kicks ass.