It's Been a Minute...

It has been 4 years, almost to the freaking day, since I last posted. Let's catch up!
My life looked something like this.

July 2016 through December 2016: Blah blah blah

January 2017: Boyfriend and I had "The Talk", I was ready to get married (FINALLY!)

February 2017: Boyfriend and I started house shopping, put an offer in on a house, and listed both of our houses for sale. Scary exciting stuff!



March 2017: Boyfriend officially upgraded his status to Husband To Be. Wedding planning commences.
Husband To Be and I both sold our houses.

May 2017: aka The Month of Madness. The sale of my house fell through.
I was in a car accident and totaled my car.
We moved into the new house with two mortgages.
Still not freaking out.

June 2017: Less than a week after moving into the new house... I left for China for two weeks.
The day after I returned home, my mom told me that my grandma has terminal cancer.

July 2017: Husband To Be upgraded to Husband. Freaked out a little and was 15 minutes late to my own damn wedding.

August 2017 through October 2017: Hubby and I won a 5 day trip to Jamaica!
Commencing mental breakdown while trying to figure out how to be a wife, step-mom, and grieving as my grandma dies.
She left us on Oct 31st.

November 2017 through July 2018: The Black Hole of Nothing. I was in a black hole of grief and depression. I was not a good wife, a good mother, or even a good human.
Somehow Husband stuck through it (actually he says it wasn't that bad) and we celebrated our first anniversary.
Oh, yeah, somewhere in here I made the bad decision to do Contract For Deed on my house.
We took a honeymoon to Jamaica.

August 2018 through July 2019: My cousin Jen lost her battle with cancer.
Husband adopted The Diva!
The situation with the Contract For Deed escalated and I finally said I was done. Officially listed the house for sale again. Moral of the story: don't do Contract For Deed. Ever. Bad Idea. Zero stars, not recommended.
Celebrated two years married.

August 2019 through July 2020: My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer, and had a double mastectomy and radiation.
Finally sold my house!
Bought a new-to-me car (that proceeded to break down only days after the warranty expired.)
The Spawn graduated high school early.
A whole bunch of other stuff happened and I had a mental breakdown.
Mom had to have a couple more surgeries for skin that wasn't healing and infections.
The world went into quarantine/stay-at-home/social distancing/online learning mode thanks to The Rona (Covid-19 virus) pandemic.
And here we are... days away from celebrating Year 3 of Marriage aka The Best Day Ever.

What a freaking ride!

So... what have you been doing?

Slowing Down

My summer has been flying at me at NASCAR speeds, when I'm really wanting a geriatric Sunday drive. I'm struggling to believe that July is almost gone. I'm not ready for August. I'm not.


So here's a list of things that I'm behind on:

• Reading
• House Projects
• Soap Porn
• Daily Audio Bible
• A Few Bills

On the plus side, I have accomplished the following:

• Working on the Yoga flow challenge. I don't have it down perfect (Upside down splits? Falling to bridge? Yikes!) but I have figured out a few modifications until I work up the courage/strength/flexibility to follow through.
• Hired a cleaning lady. She comes every other Wednesday to do my surfaces (counters, tables, floors, dusting) and bathrooms. She is awesome. If I can slow the rest of my life down, I should be able to use my "free" time to de-junk my house, organize my awesome, and maybe get a few of the things on the previous list done.
• Falling madly, completely, and happily in love. I let my anxiety and depression get to me, and at just about the point where everything was going to fall apart, I woke the frick up, got myself on some meds, and started dealing with stuff. It's been hard to let some of my past go, to accept that a love is no longer returned, and to fully embrace my life for the crazy, beautiful disaster that it is. And I fell in love with me again, and I fell in love with him too.
• I started a bullet journal. I'm still working out the kinks, figuring out what I need and what I don't, the realities of my time. It's also keeping me focused. Sometimes. I am a work in progress.

It's all left turns here, but I'm not coming last!
(see what I did there? NASCAR reference... it's ok, I'll wait for you to catch up...)

Mindful May

It's been a full quarter of a year since I updated. I'd like to say "Not much has changed." but so much has. I can't really process where I am in my own story, quite possibly this is the epiphany that triggers the change and sets the story resolution into place. Possibly, but not bloody likely.


So... books... When I left off in February I was trying to do a book a week. Things were going great until I picked up Book 2 in the Game of Thrones series. This book takes longer than a week to read. It's so good, I HAVE to finish it. I'm currently at 9 weeks of reading time and 50% finished. This may drastically increase in the next week. The Diva starts swim team which is 3 hours of practice each week. I'm going to focus on book time, not screen time, while I'm waiting for her.


Other things that have happened... I broke. I was in way over my head in depression and anxiety, struck by panic attacks when I would simply leave my house. I got to the point where I was shutting everyone out - including one amazing guy - and I knew I had to do something. it took me a full month to figure out how to schedule a doctor appointment with my own doctor without making a phone call. (Yes. I was on THAT side of the darkness.) I got in, got medicated, and goodbye panic attacks. We're still tweaking the meds, but man, heading into month 3 of medication and life is so much better.


I thought I was going to have a quiet summer, but The Diva made the swim team, wants to do t-ball, has swim lessons, camp, and VBS. Add in there that I have craft shows every other weekend, a full-time job, several part-time jobs, and a life... thank goodness The Duder is low key. His only activity is a trip to DC/NY in June. After that, he's a free guy unless he goes to work at the junkyard this summer.


Other stuff on my 2016 list... well, I finished the dining room! Next on the list is getting my gutters fixed and cleaned out. Now that the last snow of the season has come and gone, I feel pretty safe calling the guy. I'll try to get that accomplished this week. Then I'll need to take a look at money and the list and decide what's next.

Dirty Little Secrets

Soap currently in the witness protection program.

I have a secret.

Okay, it's not really a secret because everyone who knows me knows about it, we just don't talk about it. No one ever stages an intervention - they should, but they don't - they just let me do my thing.

I am an obsessive compulsive hoarder.

You knew that already. What was it that gave me away?

My 130+ TBR shelf?

My 12k+ Pinterest Boards?

My lists and half finished projects?

My discarded hobbies?

My latest obsession has been growing over the course of two years. It's so bad that I have a secret  Pinterest board for it. I have two shoe boxes in my bathroom closet to hide it. When we had The Diva's birthday party a few weeks ago, I spent hours stashing stuff cleaning up so my extended family wouldn't see it. Because of all my obsessions, this one I'm the most embarrassed about.

The shower rack. A total of eight soaps currently in play, plus one muslin bag filled with soap scraps.

I love soap. I love to smell soap. I love to use soap. I love to make soap.

My bathroom sink: A lovely charcoal shea butter bar, a lavender spa bar, and a little piece left of the lavender clay bar I sell in the store.

But seriously... how am I gonna ever use up all this soap?

 

 

October-ish

October is here. Oc.to.ber. Also known as The Month of Pumpkin Everything.

It's crazy how fast life is moving these days. It seems like just last week I was just prepping the deck and yard for summer, and now it's time to put everything away to bundle up for another winter on the prairie.

The leaves are slowly changing color, slowly falling from the trees. Soon this will pick up the pace, one day the trees will be clothed in beautiful yellow, orange and dusky red, and then the next they'll be bare, exposed branches. We've had unseasonably warm weather here, and I've been enjoying it. I've spent more time in my yard during September and (so far) October than I did all of the summer.



I'm still struggling with This Girl. She creeps in when I least expect it, I can only turn myself inwards, breathe, and try not to hurt anyone with my broken pieces. I am not healing, I am not fighting back, I am only surviving at this point.


Anxiety has been killing me since August. Every day I seemed to be wound up in knots, my thoughts and emotions like fallen leaves blowing across the yard. Whirling around and around with no destination. I'm working on getting rid of this anxiety, but sometimes setting up the boundaries and saying no umpteen million times creates a lot of short term anxiety itself. Most of my anxiety is caused by other people thinking I'm available at the drop of a hat or not respecting my time. I'm over it. I need my life back. I need to enjoy these things that I'm doing.


I have several goals through October.

1. Continue managing my anxiety (or if not managing it at least being cognizant to recognize when anxiety could influence my behavior and gracefully excusing myself to a better place), boundaries, and keeping my to do list proportional to reality.
2. Read three books. I seriously let the TBR list get out of control this year. Three books really isn't going to make much of a dent in that stack, but it will make me feel better about goal #3.
3. Finish prepping for NaNoWriMo. This year I am not reading in November. I am consciously choosing to not read. This hasn't happened in a decade. I have always had a book started, a book I'm struggling through, or a book that I'm blatantly ignoring in favor of Netflix. I am not reading in November. Instead I'm going to really do NaNoWriMo. No more of this moaning about never finishing my manuscript. It's getting done. I'm going to take all that stuff that I struggled to learn in my college class and put it to work in October so I can sit down and just write. Write and finish.

I have a few other small goals around the house, but they're just "blah blah blah". Little projects that once I sit down and do them I can easily knock out in an hour here and there.


October is going to be a month of renewal for me, I can feel it.

I Was Kidnapped

True story.

You haven't seen or heard from me because I was kidnapped by this crazy thing called life. And I don't mean talk-to-yourself-in-the-grocery-store crazy, I'm talking axe-wielding-sociopath-stalker crazy.

It has been insane around here.

Hopefully in the coming weeks I'll get back to a regular writing and reading schedule.

 

I went to India. I came back from India.

 

I swore off dating. Then I got a boyfriend. [I am NOT going to win the lottery. Repeat: Not.Winning.The.Lottery.]

 

I started a college writing class.

My laptop died. Along with it all of the writing I had done since 2012.

 

There was a firework mishap that resulted in three stitches at the ER. Scariest mom moment ever.

My baby went off to summer camp.

 

I went to Tennessee for a week.

I did a 3 mile hike in the Smokies - half of it in the pouring rain.

I finished my first 5k.

 

Replaced the laptop.

I conquered my fear of power tools and finally put the handles on my built-in.

Painted 89% of my back deck (floor).

Made a bunch of soap.

Got a solid handle on my housekeeping. (Don't look upstairs.)

Started but haven't finished yet the youth group room at the new church.

 

Finished my  college writing class.

 

I have two weeks until the CofC head off to school. Two weeks of absolutely nothing. Seriously, no one is going to kidnap these two weeks from me. If I'm doing something, it's what I want to do. I'm gonna read some books out on the deck. And go rollerskating. And work on my manuscript outline. And pull the weeds around my house. Tonight, I'm washing my floors. And I am so excited!

That Girl

I have been thinking about the girl in this photo a lot the last few weeks. This is me almost exactly a year ago, June 21, 2014, but yet it's not me. I've been a lot of different people since this photo was taken.

That Girl had been hurt, but healed. That Girl didn't think she could hurt any more. She'd been bruised, but had never had her skin broken. That Girl was still trusting and believed in happy endings.

Six months later, That Girl was cracked wide open. She became The Other Girl - the hurt one. The crying one. The one that couldn't move, couldn't breathe. The one who didn't want to go on, didn't think she could go on. So she didn't.

The Other Girl became This Girl. The angry one. The one who doesn't think she'll trust again. The one who only expects to be hurt. The one who is afraid that love doesn't believe in her.

I'm not sure what to do with This Girl. Do I embrace her as a family member or start charging her rent?

 

It's June!

It snuck up on me. It really did. It was like I went from March to June in the blink of an eye. And I am oh-so-happy to be in June. I love summer. I love the weather. I love summer activities. I love my summer schedule. I love the less-stress-more-fun life I have during the summer months. Love.




Summer doesn't mean I have nothing to do, it's nice paced busy. My busyness is just right. Unfortunately, it's not so hot for blogging. Right now I have something like... six posts in the works. Some of them are terribly over due. (India, anyone?) I'll work on this next week when I'm on my annual Staycation.


I had planned to do a play-by-play of my trip to India... but... I'm not sure I want to. There are too many words and yet not enough to describe my experience, I don't think a single entry or even a series of entries would do the trip justice. The food, the people, the experience of being part of my friend's wedding - and even the weird sensation of personally being exotic - it was an amazing experience. One that I look forward to repeating again in the future. (Hopefully the near future.) I promise though, there are posts coming about my trip.




We're mostly through 2015, and as usual my New Year Resolutions are dying a slow cruel death. Well, no ... some of them went out pretty quick this year, I just haven't acknowledged their deaths.


Money: This is still a work in progress. I blew half of the money I had pigtailed for the new car fund on fixing the old car and then blew the other half on a trip to India. I don't regret either of those decisions.


Writing: This has been off and on (mostly off). I've been stuck in my head because I can't find the original beginning of my novel - like the 20k word document that I saved somewhere... somewhere I would remember it... yeah. My brain is stuck there and won't move on. The peptalk to move myself on from that loss has begun. I just need to convince myself that I can rewrite it and do it better. The first writing class of the year officially starts next week! EEEEK!


Happy People Do This
Project 52
Be Happy
A Month in Photos with my kids.


Drink water - Originally planned as a 90 day challenge, I have stretched this out into June. I have good days and bad days, but I have seen such an improvement in my skin and how I feel overall during the day that I just can't kick the habit! I've been alternating doTerra's peppermint or lemon essential oil into my drinking cup (just one drop per 16oz) and using a tumbler with a straw, and that has really upped my water consumption!


Planking - this is still on the list.


And of course... reading. I've been doing quite a bit of it this year. I've moved some door stoppers off my shelf. Unfortunately, I nursed my broken heart with books and my TBR shelf is out of control.


I've also been doing some blog condensing. My cooking blog is slowly migrating over to here, so there were changes made to blog labels, the look, and even the blog name.


Oh, and if that isn't enough... I'm phasing out of selling Pangea Organics, and trying to launch my own soap business: A Misty Dimness Soap. I'm still in the marketing and research phase of this adventure, so I don't have product out for sale [yet]. I've only made soap in small batches (like 1 pound small) and I'm still tweaking recipes to get them to where I like them. Now I just need to get them to where other people like them! If you're interested at all in trying out some free handmade soap, hit me up on my FaceBook page!


So things I'm not doing this year? It's a pretty small list. Dating. I made a brief attempt at it in March and April, but it's just not what I want right now. That's about it for Not To Do in 2015. I can't wait to see what the rest of the year brings!

Things that I Currently Heart

So, here's a few things that I am currently in lurve! lurve! lurve! with.

1. My clean house. Er, well, my cleaner house. It's not immaculate and you can't eat off the floors, and there's still stuff creeping down from upstairs, but it is a far cry from the disaster it has been for the last two years. It's so nice to have that bit of sanity back. I've tackled things on the to do list, calling in the professionals when I needed to, and while there's still a long ways to go, I feel like my house is my own again.

2. GoodReads mobile app. They re-did the whole thing and I love it! Book scanning is awe.some. I moved my TBR list over there and it seems to be happy. Now if paperbackswap would just get in the game with an app, my life would be complete a mess. My TBR list is a disaster. I tried to fill an empty spot inside me with books. I "only" accumulated 40 books - no where near the 1000+ books I had circa 2006 - but it's really 30 books more than I should have gotten. I've got a handle on the empty spot, but I still need to figure out what to do about the TBR problem.

3. Spring weather. Windows open, sunshine, green stuff starting grow in the lawn, longer daylight hours, it's good stuff. I have needed this season change. Winter was not good for me. Winter was cold and colorless. Winter was empty. Winter sucked. I'm ready for warmer weather.

4. Moving on. It came suddenly, and rather viciously (for him), but the hurt is just a small raw spot on the inside. It's healing and scarring over. How ugly the scar is is yet to be seen. I've tried dating, but I'm not sure it's for me yet. I may try to reclaim the Summer of Sherry, or maybe I'll just sit this one out.

5. Traveling. I get Five weeks of PTO every year. This year I've already slated 3 weeks to do some fun things. Week One is coming quickly: I'm heading off to Bangalore, India! I'm so excited to go, I pee my pants when I think about it. Week Two is my annual "staycation" where I hang at home with my kids and then serve food to the VBS kids in the evening. I love it. It's good fun. Week Three is a 24 hour bus ride to Knoxville, TN to hang out with 6000 teenagers for a week. Very cool.

6. Soap. I'm learning how to make it (among other fun hippie stuff). I've tentatively revived my cooking blog to show off a few of my concoctions. I'll also get back to cooking food, but it may not be on the blog right away.

Writing is... on hold at the moment. I'll get there again. Right now I'm just finding my balance. I signed up for a writing class in June because I need a jump start and taking two classes is on my resolutions list, so there's one down.

I am so in love with my life right now! This is a good thing. A very very good thing.

Stuck in Suckville

Let me just get this out of the way...

February sucked.

It was awful. Valentine's Day, my birthday, and cabin fever - in addition to already being in a depression? - it was more than awful. It was horrendous. It was a disaster.

If I wasn't running nilly willy, I was parked on my couch with Netflix/Hulu. I made lame attempts at life in general. I couldn't write. I couldn't read. I tried to convince myself I was moving on. Going forward. Or just going.

Reality: I wasn't even faking it anymore. I was stopped. Stopped at a place in my grief where I couldn't cry any more, I didn't have the energy to be angry, but yet I couldn't take the step of acceptance.

All month long there were little reminders that This was not how February was supposed to be. This was not how it looked in my head in December. This was not right and there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it. This sucked.

I thought to myself, "If I can get through February, I'll be okay." I lied to myself. It's March and This still sucks. The sun is shining, the snow is melting, there's a breath of spring in the air... and I'm still stuck in Suckville.

I'm trying. I picked up a book and finished it. I am going to pick up my writing. I am going to get back on track with my 2015 goals. (I did manage to stick to 2 cups of coffee and lots of water - most days. At least I didn't completely fail.) I am going to clean my house. I am going to become a human being again. One preferably with GOOD feelings.

Off The Wagon

I had week one and week two... and then week three, well, I was caught up in the crazy.

Water was a struggle. I'm lying. I made a half hearted effort and managed to chug down 16 oz through the day. However, I did stick to my 2 cups of coffee rule!

Bible reading... I thought about it?

Writing... I also thought about it?

Project 52... "Happy" just isn't a subject I want to deal with.

However, life must go on. In the past I would have been caught up in playing the "Catch Up Game", but that is not going to happen in 2015. What is going to happen in 2015 is just accepting where I am at. It will get better, or it will just be, but I won't ever know if I stop trying.

I'm back to using the big jug of water, I cut up half a lemon to put in it. I had been using a whole lemon, but I developed a ginormous cold sore on my lip. I'm not sure if it was from the additional acidity in my diet or just from stress, so on the side of caution I am going to scale back on the amount of lemon that I use.

Bible reading is at the fore front. I went to a workshop over the weekend and one of the topics was "Soul Care" and I have realized that between youth group and teaching Sunday School, my own spiritual well is not a well at all, but a canal. What goes in goes directly out, and sometimes it's in a drought. So I am going to actively seek out more ministry - I started Women's Bible Study last week and I'm going to ask for ministering from my pastor.

I'm going to stick with 15 minute time slots for writing. When I tried to increase to 20 minutes I stalled out, so I think 15 minutes is good. I know it's only about 100 words, but at the end of the week that's about 500 words I didn't have before.

Project 52, I am going to accept that there are some subjects that I may not be inspired by. It's okay, they'll still be there when the inspiration arrives. This week's subject is BUBBLES. Hmmm... I wonder where this will take me?

Also on my goal list for this week... finishing Anna Karenina. It's happening.

I Got This

I am super blessed to have friends around me. Really strong female friends who "get" me. I don't know how I would have gotten through the last month without them - whether it was letting me have a panic attack crying fit in her office, giving me a place to be on New Year's Eve, sending me meaningful pins on Pinterest, or sending me awesome articles such as "How to Kill Your Ex and Get Away With It". I'm kidding! This is the article that my friend TH sent me.

It got me to thinking though - how am I getting through this? It has been a struggle for me, more so than any breakup I've had before. Put that down to an intensity of emotion, the way things ended, or just that it was the straw that broke the camel's back (meaning: I'm tired of relationships that don't.work.out.) whatever the case, I'm going through some STUFF.

So, here's my advice for dealing with a broken heart. Or as I like to call it: How Breaking up Prepares you for Love.

H: Hurt. It's okay to hurt. The person who left meant something to you. There's a grieving process to go through. Just remember that even though you're broken, don't make other people broken too. It's instinctive for us to try to make others feel our misery. Don't do it. Just don't. So cry, make a Breakup play list on Spotify of every sad and angry song you can think of, write letters that you're never going to send, have pretend arguments in the shower where you get the last word with him, pack up his old shirts, and look at pictures, notes, text messages. Go ahead and hurt, but don't live in the house that hurt built.

B: Busy. Be busy. Find projects, make goals, renew hobbies, go places, be with people. Do the things you love even though you don't feel like doing it. Watch three seasons of 'Once Upon a Time' on Netflix. I had a friend go through a divorce last spring. She's a teacher, so over the summer she spent every day doing something, going somewhere, just being busy. The person that you loved isn't in your life any more (his loss), but you do still have a life.

P: Pray. Pray for healing your heart. Pray for peace. Pray for patience. Pray for understanding. Acknowledge to God that you don't know His plan, and even though it's hard for you to accept, there's a reason God took someone out of your life. Pray for forgiveness - for yourself if needed, and the other person. Pray for them to have the life they deserve. Pray for their happiness - even if you want them to be miserable forever - just keep praying it and one day you will really want them to be happy.

L: Learn. Take some time off to learn about relationships. Evaluate what you want, who you are, and where your boundaries lay. Was there something specific that he didn't like? Look at that habit objectively - is it something that needs to change? This is a hard one, I know. One thing that HE said he didn't like was how I seemed to get upset about little things. I know, and it's something I've been working on (and continue to work on)... but sometimes I think he missed the bigger picture of how my brain works and didn't bother to find out. Sometimes the best thing we can do in a relationship is to get someone else's perspective.

This is how I've been handling things the last month. It's left me barely holding on, but I am still holding on.

The First Step is the Hardest

I'm here. This is good. It's January in South Dakota. This is not good. I am already craving the warmth of summer. Green grass. Flip flops.

Instead I am buried in snow, less than zero temps, and clomping around in snow boots and thermal underwear.

First week of the year. Done! Resolutions are still here! So let's check in.

Money: Put $20 into the E Fund on payday. I also received my check from the newspaper, so that added $215. I had increased my 401k contribution to 15%. This may need an adjustment. I'm going to let it ride through January. Kids and I may have to eat beans and rice at months end.

Writing: I wrote 412 words (baby steps, small wins here, kids). That does not include my weekly column or this blog. Those are actual words for my manuscript. I decided to finish the novel I've been calling "Finding Adam". It's the closest to being done - ha! Now if I could just find the rest of what I wrote....

Happy People Goal is #12 - taking care of my body: Taking care of your body is crucial to being the happiest person you can be. So what does this mean for me? Limiting my coffee and soda. Paying more attention to physical activity. Getting more sleep at night. Taking my PTSD meds.

Photo of the week is water. I'll be posting the pics I took tomorrow.

90 days of water: It's tough! My first day was a failure of epic proportions, but then I picked up a big 2 quart bottle and started adding sliced lemons to it. I can drink hot or cold. I even managed to make it through a weekend! And my coffee intake is down to two cups a day, and both of those are before noon.

Books: I finished a small book I had started before the new year. Now I'm digging into Anna Karenina, which technically I had started before the beginning of the year (like the beginning of December) but I haven't gotten very far. Now it is the only book I'm reading besides the Bible. I'm not consistent about reading the Bible every day, but I'm working towards that. Hopefully this will all work out! My wishlist on paperbackswap.com exploded. Right now I think I have 15 books coming. GULP! Good thing I've sworn off having a boyfriend or any semblance of a relationship in 2015.

Overall I am happy with my first week.

End of Summer

It's been awhile since I did a Ramblings post, so I thought you might enjoy a few updates.

I have a new guy. I like him. My kids like him. He seems to like us. It's all good.

I kind of sort of finished the dining room. I have a few minor details to take care of, but seem to be in no hurry to get it done.

The kids and I had some fun in Okoboji:

And now our summer vacation is done. On Wednesday The Spawn started 7th Grade, and The Diva started 1st Grade. Time goes so fast!

On a bookish note, my reading seems to be picking up speed with the end of summer. Maybe the realization that time is passing kicked my butt into gear? I've been making more effort to read. I'm trying to get through the old backlog on my TBR shelf as some of these books have been around for years.

I have the newest Diana Gabaldon waiting for me to start. I set a goal to get one book ahead of the reading challenge and then I could start reading it. I can't wait!! The Spawn also challenged me to read the Divergent series, completely realizing that this will be much like The Hunger Games series - harass me weekly for a year before I finally break down and read them.

I've been listening to a lot of talk radio at work. Technically they're podcasts courtesy of the Stitcher app I have on my Nook. My reading and tv watching lists are growing at a crazy rate!

My Netflix splurge for the summer has been watching The Walking Dead. Seriously good stuff, kids.

On that note, I have to give summer 2014 a huge two thumbs up +10 A++ rating. My house is a happy house these days and that makes me happy.

Whew!

Here's some late night ramblings for your reading enjoyment. Or not.

I'm a little behind in getting book reviews posted. I currently have two books completed and two in the works. I'm hoping to get caught up this week.

July was truly a crazy month. Conference week, two weeks of swimming lessons, pink eye (The Spawn), VBS and baseball... It's taken me the entire first week of August to recover... just in time to get back into some craziness. I haven't worked a full week since the end of June and it doesn't look like I'll be working another full week any time soon. I'm sure my boss is pleased. Or not.



All I need is popcorn...

 So, let's see... my washer decided it was too tired to continue on. It was leaking oil and water all over the place. I originally purchased the washer/dryer set last summer for $75 (used) just to get something into the house. Knowing that the set was roughly 15-20 years old, I didn't expect it to last long. I managed to tuck just barely enough money away over the last year to purchase a new set outright. The set finally arrived on Friday. I am pleased, to say the least.

I also have a bat infestation in the house. Over the course of a week I had three flying loose and found one dead in one of my favorite AirWalks. I have an exterminator/bat control guy coming the end of this week to get the situation under control. In the mean time, I'm sleeping with a firm grip on the broom.

This weekend friends from Texas will be in town. Their arrival also coincides with the PACH Back-to-School food drive; I'll be two-timing everyone to fit it all in. Oh, and my father in law decided this weekend would be the perfect time to install the bathroom fan I've been asking him to help with for the last ten months.

Next weekend I have a bachelorette party that requires my attendance. And by attendance I mean chaperoning my sisters.

After that, I'll be gearing up for back to school peparations for The CofC. The Spawn is heading into 5th grade and is none too pleased with his teacher or that none of his friends will be in his class. This year is going to be difficult. The Diva is off to Junior Kindergarten. I think I'm more of an emotional wreck about this than she is. How did my kids get so big so fast?!

And then to top everything off, because my life just isn't crazy enough, I'm doing this whole life evaluation thing. Deciding what I want and what I have to let go. But dammit, I want it all!

So there ya go. My mad mad life. Long story short: Book reviews coming soon!

Hellllllooooo, Summer Vacation!

So I'm off work all of this week. The Children of the Corn and I have been looking forward to my daycare's annual summer vacation for a month. Last year I spent it trying to move into a house and close up an apartment, it was stressful and busy. This year, while we're still busy this week, we also have plenty of downtime. So far our schedule has looked like this:

     Friday 29 June: After the longest day at work EVER, picked up The CofC, grabbed a quick supper at home before heading to Farley Fest to listen to some music and watch fireworks. It was, in the words of The Diva, "Totally Awesome!"
     Saturday 30 June: Tried to accomplish a few things around the house before we made the 90 mile (round trip) trekk to my niece's birthday party. We grilled out at home, enjoyed ice cream on the deck before putting CofC to bed and The Boyfriend and I enjoyed a few cocktails and conversation into the wee hours of the morning.
     Sunday 1 July: Happy Housavesary to me! Went to church and saw a lot of old friends who were home visiting their parents for the weekend. After church went out to the in-laws for lunch. Went to the parade to score a couple grocery bags full of candy. Came home completely drenched in sweat (Hello, Summer!), turned on the central air for the first time this year (I am so cheap...), and packed everyone up for the lake to hang out with two of The Sistahs. 4-1/2 hours later, everyone was exhausted and starving. I kid you not... I made half a bag of chicken nuggets, fish sticks and french fries and The CofC were still looking for food twenty minutes later. In honor of summer vacation, and it being damn hot upstairs, I let everyone sleep downstairs.

And the next few days look like this:

     Monday 2 July: Today's plan is housework and misc stuff in the morning, lunch, waiting for the washer repairman (aka my dad), and then heading to the lake until who knows when.
     Tuesday 3 July: We have a little bit more on the schedule for today as The Spawn has a counselor's appointment in town in the afternoon. We'll also hit up the firework stand and maybe pick up a friend for a sleepover. We may also make an appearance at the neighbor's yard party. I think this is the night we'll tackle glow in the dark bubbles.
     Wednesday 4 July: Today we're hanging home to blow up some stuff - er, I mean fireworks. In the afternoon The Sistahs and Mom will be coming for a swim and grill out party for another niece's birthday. And then more blowing up stuff.
     Thursday 5 July: Today's plan will be mostly at the lake. The Diva and I have haircuts scheduled at 5, we'll have supper out before we drop The Spawn off at his dad's for a few days.
     Friday 6 July: Another lake day for The Diva and I. The Boyfriend has a gig that night, so likely won't see him until mid-afternoon on Saturday.
     Saturday 7 July: Last minute shopping and packing The Spawn for camp. Possibly a meltdown about sending my baby out into the world. If the rain hasn't started by then, we'll be at the lake. Firework show in the neighboring town.
     Sunday 8 July: The Spawn should arrive from his dad's in the morning. Church at the Indian Church. The Spawn leaves for camp. Probably lake time if the weather is still holding.

And then I return to work, just in time for the crazy summer conference schedule. This is really the last of my free time in July. Every day starting the 9th I have something going on, including the weekends. If I survive July, August should be fairly calm. And that's the long story why I won't be getting much reading done after the first week of July... I love summer!

New To Me Kitchen

This little story starts back in September 2010. I attended my cough-cough-unintelligible-mumbling-cough high school reunion. Back story: I used to run with three other girls in high school. These days, one cuts my hair, one is a realtor and has kids in the same daycare as me, and the third is a mortgage broker who had kids in my daycare. The mortgage broker also had a house for sale. In my hometown. A house that I had always dreamed of living in. Okay, actually, it's my third choice for living in but choice number 1 is a family home with the 4th and 5th generations currently living there and choice number 2, while it is for sale dirt cheap requires way too much work to be lived in. Which makes me sad. But choice number 3 is a lovely home. I know because after looking at it (and other houses) for almost a year, in April 2011 I made an offer on the house. On July 1st I signed the paperwork and July 2nd I moved in.

I love my house, not so excited about the My-Other-Personality-is-a-Grandma decor, but still love the house. One of my favorite rooms, obviously, is the kitchen. Not surprising that this is the first room to get a makeover. It was done in this horrendous blue and big flower wall border, and painted dark green and brown. So not my thing. I wish I had better before pictures, it really was atrocious. I stripped, primered and painted. Most of the stripping was done over the course of a week, most of the painting was done over the course of a 3-day weekend that coincided with my daughter's 4th birthday party. I did finally finish painting sometime in November. Okay, maybe it was the beginning of December, there by beating my previous "6 months to paint a kitchen" record by 4-1/2 months.

You may recognize the colors in the new kitchen, the light tan (called Dried Stem) and red (called Crimson Sky) are from the old kitchen. I added a third color, called Tahitian Treat, for a little oomph. It took me awhile to get used to it, but I really like the affect. I outfitted the kitchen with a used $50 stove and The Nightmare From Dugans Fridge. There are a few more things I'd like to do in the new kitchen, painting cabinets, new hardware and new flooring, and they'll come with time.

A few things I love about my kitchen, the stove is not by the fridge. Maybe that's weird, but I actually like having the two appliances separate from each other. I have a range hood above the stove. I have tons of cupboard space. The house came with a built-in dishwasher which quit working after about 4 uses. It's an ancient model and isn't worth fixing as I kept my portable model from the apartment. One of these days I will pull out the old dishwasher and convert the portable to a built-in. For now though, I replaced the kitchen faucet so that I can connect the working dishwasher. It's not convenient, but it works. The final thing that I love about my kitchen is the lighting. The lights are semi-enclosed over the counter top space. It wreaks a little havoc when taking night time food photos for the blog, but I absolutely adore the lighting when cooking. I will eventually figure out the lighting issue to get better pictures (or at least as better as I get) on the blog, I promise.

A few things I dislike about the kitchen... not much. I don't like that I really don't have shelving for cookbooks. Underneath my microwave I have six drawers, only two of which I actually use. I will eventually remove four of the drawers and put shelving in that area for my cookbooks. Yeah. That's about it. One thing and it's completely fixable. Two things if you count the dishwasher situation, but that's also completely fixable with a little muscle and know-how.

Memories are in the making in this kitchen. I know I'm going to be happy here for a long time.

I'm Not Dead!

I'm not dead, I swear! Life's very very very busy these days. Much busier than I ever thought I could be. It seems like I have a hundred things going on - I'm (trying to) resume my German studies, I'm (trying to) keep the house cleaner so I don't waste an entire weekend cleaning, I'm trying to do more yoga, I'm still working on decorating the house - which seems to involve hours of research on Pinterest, and being a multi-millionaire in FarmVille isn't easy. Oh, and kids and a boyfriend. I have those too. Basically I'm spending a lot of time trying to be WonderWoman and reading has been slipping through the cracks.

I'm slowly working my way through A Tale of Two Cities. I'm loving it as much as I did first two times that I read it. Probably understanding a lot more this time around too. I'd be lying if I said I'm not disappointed in myself. I was really hoping to rock this challenge. Maybe reading isn't going to be a priority this year. I can hear my TBR shelf groaning in misery from here...

We'll see how the next few months of challenges go. I may need to do a six-month evaluation.

Blech

In case you haven't noticed from the lack of reviews... I'm not making very good progress on reading. I have lots of excuses. Ya wanna hear 'em? Aw, you're a good sport...

1. Let's see, my return to work coincided with a new procedure [blah blah blah] that results in me having more work. In a good way.
2. Also my kids and I have had multiple appointments the last few weeks - nothing serious, dentist and counselor appointments - between those and the new workload, I've been working through lunches (and when I'm not I'm doing yoga). Hopefully the next two weeks will straighten things out so I can steal some reading time during lunch.
3. After a full day of work and kids, I've been climbing into bed exhausted. I haven't needed to read before falling asleep because I'm practically snoozing by, oh, dinner time.
4. When I do have downtime I'm zoning out with my NetFlix queue or FarmVille. And cooking. I've been cooking alot.
5. Probably the most important... I'm struggling with the book I'm reading. The book is about a high functioning Asperger's kid. As the mom of a son with higher functioning Asperger's than the kid in the book, it reminds me that things could be so much worse - and yet so much of it is eerily familiar. It's been an emotional read for me.

I am going to try to finish the book by next weekend. I'm not sure if I can sneak in another or not before month end, if I do it will likely be the book club read for February.

Stocking the Freezer

For some reason "stocking the freezer" sounds like something one should only do around Christmas time, but really, if you have the time and resources it's something everyone should do. (And if you don't have time, make time. In the long run, you'll be way ahead of the game.) Especially if that someone is me - I work full-time, I'm a single mom of two kids, I commute 45 minutes to work one way every day and I'm pretty sure I'm not alone in the world in that aspect. Lots of people do what I do, but they're selfish and won't share their secrets to success. Lucky for you I am not selfish and I like sharing. Unless it's my last piece of chocolate, in which case, if I haven't given birth to you (and even that's iffy) don't bother asking.

Since moving to the house, mealtimes during the week have been a struggle. We walk in the door a few minutes after 6 p.m. and the kids are starving. And while they're whining about starving, they also want me to turn on the T.V., or show me stuff, or are raiding the fridge because the five seconds it takes me to take off my shoes is just way.too.long. and they might starve to death waiting for me.

A lot of nights we eat quick foods - canned soup and sandwiches, spaghetti, pancakes... McDonald's before leaving town. The kids themselves also pose some challenges with menu planning. The Diva is 4 years old and pretty much fearless when it comes to food. She is always willing to try a new dish, a new food, and very rarely does she not like some thing. (We have "normal" eating phases where she isn't interested in eating much for about a week and then will eat anything that holds still long enough.) The Spawn poses most of my meal planning challenges. He is picky and resistant to trying new foods. Pretty much if it doesn't fall under Pizza, Hot Dogs, Bologna, McDonald's or Spaghetti, he isn't interested in it. Many things he passes simply on principal - he has high functioning Asperger's so not eating Hamburger Helper because the commercials are annoying is perfectly logical and reasonable to him. I keep trying to find things that he likes, with limited (read: no) success. I keep trying and once in awhile, he tries to like something too.

When I moved into the new house there was a large deep freezer in the basement, in working order. It's old and probably not as energy efficient as newer models (probably even less so because I keep it barely stocked), but it's in already in the house so I started using it. Up until a few weeks ago, I barely kept anything in it. Mostly sandwich meat, cheese, bread, pizza and ice cream. The last few weeks I have really done some looking around (on the web and asking friends for recipes that freeze well) to figure out how to make this freezer work for me.

The game plan going forward is to start compiling a list of items that my family uses (or would like to use) frequently and when time allows, to make batches specifically for the freezer. I'm going to attempt to make one extra meal every shopping trip (I'm on a bi-weekly pay schedule and do my grocery shopping only on payday) to specifically stock the freezer.

A few things I have coming up for you are:

• pizza crusts
• Sausage and Lentil Soup
• pita bread
• hamburger buns
• beef stroganoff
• beef and bean burritos

I will also be noting in more recipes when I think some thing would work well as a quick freezer meal. We'll meet up in July to see how my freezer looks - okay?