Book Edition: July Review and August Goals

I had an overwhelming urge to recap my book reading for the last four years, and then sanity prevailed. You're welcome. I'm just going to jump right in where I'm at. We can fill in blanks later.

July Review

I'm still continuing my way through The History of the Standard Oil Company by Ida Tarbell. This was supposed to be a read-along with my friend Katie, but she dropped off the face of the earth, and being mildly intrigued, I'm still continuing the Seven Pages a Day Plan... kind of. I have a goal to read 7 pages at least 15 days of the month. I may never finish this book. For July I read 10 of 15 days.

Other Reading Goal was to complete 2 books during the month. I finished 3 books:

Business Boutique by Christy Wright

On Folly Beach by Karen White

The Upside of Falling Down by Rebekah Crane (ebook)

I also started Get Out of Your Head by Jennie Allen, for a book club that my friend Lindsey started. I had bought this book a few weeks before Lindsey announced her book club, after Christy Wright had the author on her podcast. I think this is a sign I needed to do this.

August Goals

15 days reading The History of the Standard Oil Company by Ida Tarbell

Finish 3 books.

Participate in Book Club.

I plan to post the single reviews for the books I read in July during the month of August. I'm struggling a bit to get back into blogger mode, hang with me. We'll get there.

It's Always a Full Moon, Baby

I'm trying really hard not to complain about the weather... but I miss summer so much! Putting on 19 layers just to go from the house to the car is ridiculous. Although the last two days have been incredibly gorgeous for January in South Dakota.

My resolutions are going well. Water is good. (Except yesterday and today.) Less coffee is good. Exercise is good. Writing has been amazing - I logged in 1414 words since the last check, which brings me up to 1826! Project 52 is a fun challenge and an interesting way to look at my life.

I'm struggling on the reading front though - not because Anna Karenina is terrible, it's not, at all. I am totally in love with this book. The problem is that my wishlist on paperbackswap.com exploded. My TBR shelf shelves are out of control. I'm conflicted how to resolve this. Do I grab a bunch of shorties (books under 200 pages) and whip through five of them? Do I ignore and continue on with my door stopper challenge? Do I review and let go of books that may no longer interest me? Sigh. This is an issue for me. One that I can probably let go for another six months. If you have ideas, tips or just bad advice, leave me a comment!

That's it for updates. I have ideas for non-book related posts that will be coming soon. This blog is morphing from just book reviews and I like that. I'm okay with it. I'm looking forward to it, really. So keep watching for new content, new stuff - and let me know what you like!

October and November

I'm not quite sticking to the plan... but it's an improvement! Unless by some miracle I no longer require sleep, I won't even get close to the 50 book goal this year. I'm kind of sad. I mean emotionally sad. Not pathetic sad. So I've bumped the number from 23 to 28 books read, and only one month left in the year.

So what is taking up my time? Let's see...
              work
              still rocking the single parent gig
              Youth group leader
              Trying really hard to pretend I'm not in pain every day
              Church secretary
              Stripping the dining room wallpaper
              Not cleaning my house (mostly it's just cleaning the same three rooms and telling people to close their eyes when they go through the other rooms)
              Attempting to get a Pangea Organics business off the ground
              Trying to keep my sanity

We won't even discuss my obsession with Farm Heroes Saga right now.

Right.

Back to talking about books... On the plus side of all this, I am managing to hold the TBR list under 100. I feel there will be a purging before year end. Hopefully I will finish Inkheart before year end...

Oh My My

I don't even know what to say... I have read one book. ONE. since the beginning of July. It wasn't a long book. It was emotionally intense and at times painful... but you'll hear about that in the review later. For now, let's continue on about how much I suck, shall we? Yes. Let's do.

I feel like I can't my feet under me. I don't sleep. I eat, I run, I start projects and don't finish them, I spend far too much time on FaceBook doing nothing. Right now my only real comfort is at church. Which brings me back full circle to starting projects and not finishing them...

Sigh. I can't focus on reading. I'd rather RUN than read a book. Anyone who knows me knows how Cah-ray-zee that idea even is.

But that's where I am right now.

I'm having a hard time embracing it.

So over the rest of the year, I'm just going with it. Kind of. I'm making more of an effort to focus... but if I feel like running, I'm gonna run.

So dare I even try to set a goal? Sure. Everyone needs a point to measure failure, right? Right.

So far I have read 23 books of 50. That means I'm roughly 25% behind in my reading. So here's the goal: Read one book every 10 days. That's it. That is the best I can do.

2013 has been a huge disappointment all the way around. It's been a bad luck year here. I'm really hoping I make it through and 2014 will be oh-so-much better.

March April and May Update

I'm only slightly behind on book reviews and updating the blog in general. Life has been a mad crazy rush the last few months. This summer I promised myself and the CofC that we would take things a little easier. Hopefully that also includes more time to read!

I briefly debated abandoning the blog all together - simply because well, time. As in I didn't have time to write a review, and when I did... it took FOREVER because of my outdated laptop. Well, both problems have come to pass, so here I am, on a rainy Saturday morning, catching up the blog.

I know you're excited.

I am.

So... a brief recap: I'm staying on track for my books read goal. Keeping the TBR list down has been a challenge. And by challenge I mean that I haven't really tried. I have been trying to mix-up my reading list between old books, new books and ebooks. I've been on a bit of a short story kick on the ebook side of things. Partly because they are more affordable and partly because one of my favorite authors published a couple shorts.

There might be a book purge coming in the next few weeks, maybe not. I don't feel inclined to get rid of anything right now. I think a lot of focus will simply go into getting ahead of the reading plan so maybe I can fit in a Diana Gabaldon or Harry Potter re-read.

So as I catch up on the book reviews, hang out, drink some coffee... read a book :)

January and February Update

I seem to be over the reading slump I was in. In January I finished up a few books I had been reading since... well, before Thanksgiving. Then I decided that reading The Hunger Games Series would be exactly what I needed to get things moving off my TBR shelf. I wasn't wrong! It was also kind of fun to read something that The Spawn had read and spend our daily commute talking about. We even had a mom-son movie night so I could see the movie!

I didn't quite hold up to my end of the deal about not adding to my TBR shelf. Not only did I get a stack of books from my paperbackswap wishlist, but I bought two ebooks and a friend sent me another book. *sigh* at some point I will find my willpower.

Other news and trivia: I survived my 31st birthday. Okay, so my age is really more like two 18 year olds. I say I'm 31 and most people say "I would have said you were younger than that." I'm pretty sure they're talking about my maturity level and I'm wishing they were talking about how well I'm aging.

I've been obsessed with two websites lately:
Crunchy Betty
One Good Thing
I find myself more and more wanting to get away from toxins, food dyes and preservatives, and get more into the natural way of things. And then I remember my love of Cherry Coke and Ramen noodles. And I have blue hair! [best.transition.ever.] They're extensions, but they are blue and super fun. I adore them.

On The 'Flipside'

"So, Sherbs, what's up with all these Harlequin Flipsides?"

Yeah... about those short trashy romance novels... I really don't know how to defend myself. They've been around forever. Like, seriously, I think I started collecting them before I moved in with my ex-fiancee and that was way back in 2004-ish. They've been moved and rejected so many times, but I can't seem to completely let them go. I don't know what it is about them, but I was completely obsessed with gettting and reading all of them.

This year I decided "This is IT." I'm getting rid of these books once and for all. So I'm trying to read as many as possible by year end to ease my guilty conscience...

... and then maybe read the Hunger Games trilogy?? We'll see. I may get to that one this year yet.

So Many Books ... Part II

The Spawn is harassing me. Constant badgering. I swear, sometimes I even hear him in my sleep... "Read The Hunger Games series"... and then I wake up and he's standing over me saying, "Mom. Seriously. You read Twilight twice but you won't read Hunger Games. You disappoint."

In an effort to read The Hunger Games series guilt-free... there's been more shelf purging. It's like my shelves are puking up books. There's all kinds of things going out the door - erm, well, okay not the door. More like getting shoved into stacks in my closet to be dealt with later. I'm even purging my current read stack. Seriously? I've been trying to read Dracula for over two months and I'm not half done yet. It's not happening. Anyways, here's what has moved into the closet. Hopefully they'll find a better home at a later date.

Something Borrowed, Something Blue, Love the One You're With by Emily Giffin. The first two were part of a series and the third, well, it just seemed wrong to keep.

One Enchanted Evening by Lynn Kurland. It was hard letting this one go. I used to love Lynn Kurland's books, but then well, I changed and she stayed the same. The books started to become repetitious and the family/character chain so convoluted, I couldn't keep it straight. The fact that this sat on my shelves for over 2 years is an indication of my reluctance to read it.

Embassytown by China Mieville. I received this in a giveaway on goodreads.com. I started to read it, but put it away hoping to get back to it at some point when my brain cells were fully functioning. Well, that's never gonna happen. This is probably a great read for someone who like science fiction and likes figuring everything out without any explanation. I like sci fi well enough, I just need to be fed details a little more than this book did.

The Other Woman by Jane Green.

Smart and Sexy by Jill Shalvis.

Also hitting the road:

• 2 computer books (let's be real: I barely have time to post to this blog, much less make a really cool webpage)
• 5 German language books (see above regarding time)

Things are going a lot better on the reading front now that I've gotten those things out of the way. I actually feel excited to read.

So Many Books...

... so little time.

Occasionally this happens. And by "occasionally" I mean very very often. It's not that I don't want to read these books, I just want to read other books more. Right now my bookshelves are overflowing. Trust me, if you think my TBR page looks a little ridiculous... try not to think about the fact that I'm behind updating that page by about 20 books. *sigh*

In moments of desparation, to keep myself from being overwhelmed (and my family from checking me into a mental facility) I cull out the books that I've accepted I'll never get to read. Here's the latest on my I Give Up list:

The Lost Hero by Rick Riordan. I bought this one for The Spawn. I don't think he finished reading it, honestly. I added it to my list because I really enjoyed the Percy Jackson books. I trust The Spawn's judgment - if it's not worth finishing, I shouldn't start.

Listen by Rene Gutteridge; Tiger Eye by Marjorie M. Liu; Fatal Judgment by Irene Hannon; Man Law by Adrienne Giordano; Blood Safari by Deon Meyer; Irresistible Forces by Brenda Jackson. These were all Nook Book freebies. No harm, no foul.

A Hopeless Romantic by Harriet Evans. I picked this up because it was in the recommended reading list for another book that I enjoyed. This book is HUGE! I like chick lit, but not that much. I kept reshuffling (every day I'm shuffling... uh-hem. Sorry.) it around my book shelf just to avoid reading it.

Wild Ride by Jennifer Crusie, Bob Mayer. This was recommended by a friend. I wanted to try to read it, but honestly I just don't think it's my kind of reading. (And if you figure out what my kind of reading is, please let me know.)

I know there's a few others that should go, I just haven't gotten up the nerve to do it. Maybe I'll update the TBR page and it will inspire me a little further.

Mid-Year Review

Yay! It's summer! We have a busy summer planned around here - baseball, swimming lessons, VBS, camp, plus the usual assortment of weddings and birthdays... I just hope I have enough time to sleep!

Over the course of the year I have revamped the 2012 book challenge a bit. The month to month time frame wasn't working for me (too much pressure? I dunno.) So here's the genres, the number I've read and the goal to read:

Old Books 3 of 10 (30% complete)
Favorite Books 1 of 6 (17% complete)
Self-Help Books 2 of 8 (25% complete)
Trashy Romance Novels 1 of 12 (8% complete)
Oddo 5 of 8 (63% complete)
Writing 0 of 3 (0% complete)

There are a few books that I read for Book Club that don't count in these numbers. Also a few books that I simply haven't posted the reviews for. But still... Oddo (Nook Books) are kicking butt.

The Post Where I Talk About My Nook

I'm revamping the book challenge a little bit. I'm having w-a-a-a-a-a-y too much fun with my Nook Tablet, so I'm continuing the NookBook selections into May (speaking of... I have two reviews to post). And then I'm taking the book challenge out of a month to month format. I'm still sticking with my so-called "genres", because they're fun and that's where the challenge part comes in. How many can I read in a row without getting bored? We'll find out!

I'm finishing up the current NookBook for the book club read and then I'm moving on to Trashy Romance Novels. I have three or four Kresley Cole books on my shelf, I've been watching Charmed re-runs, and my personal love life is falling apart so I'm totally ready for mindless, supernatural trashy romances.

I've been trying really hard not to gush about my Nook Tablet... but ohmygosh... it's AWESOME! It's epic! It's legen - wait for it - dary! (Before Charmed I watched six seasons of How I Met Your Mother. Can you tell?) Of course, the awesomest thing it does is read books. And plays Plants vs. Zombies. And connects to the Internetz. So things that I like / don't like:

• At first I didn't like the backlight. I'll be honest. I hated it. Now I've gotten used to it and learned how to adjust the brightness depending on the situation... it's so nice to be able to read during a two hour roadtrip at midnight. Or, you know, lying in my bed at 4 a.m. unable to sleep...
• I don't like that navigating isn't as intuitive as my Nook WiFi was, but there is a great video tutorial that I can access any time any where.
• Apps. What can I say? I have Plants vs. Zombies installed on my computer. I've been known to hijack The Spawn's Nintendo DSi to play the game... so when I saw the app for PvZ... I was sold. There are a lot of free apps, which have kept The Diva busy during long shopping trips. Or when I need five minutes to go to the bathroom. Alone. Apps are cool.
• I don't like the page turning. The swipe, tap, easy touch feature is cool the first few times you do it, but is very sensitive and becomes annoying. I don't like that when turning pages I always have to use my right hand (or hold my left hand in front of the page that I'm trying to read, which defeats the point of continuous reading). With my Nook WiFi, I could turn pages back or forward from either side of the reader. With the Nook Tablet I'm stuck turning the page on the side in the direction I want to go (forward: right, back: left). 
• I don't like the DC charger. The plug folds in - which is great for traveling, but makes it really hard to actually plug into the wall. It's a pain in the ass to get plugged in without it folding. I finally committed an outlet solely to my Nook just so I don't have hassle with it.
• I LOVE that my Glamour subscription comes with a free Nook app (for Nook Tablet or Nook Color only), so that every month the new magazine automatically downloads. I still get magazines in the mail for those articles that I may want to refer back to. I wish more of my magazine subscriptions were that cool.

Okay, these are just a few things that come right to the top of my head when people ask me for details about my Nook Tablet. Overall, I seriously love the thing.

If you have a Nook or Kindle (or any other reader), what do you think of yours?

Playing Catchup

I have at least two book reviews to post. I've fallen behind on posting as I've been trying to catchup with, well, life. Hopefully I'll get to them today, but that depends on if I finish the third book or not.

The month of Nook Books is going very well, but I'm ready to move on to the next month. I may not have the attention span to have all of my books selected for the entire month/year. [Noted for next year's challenge.] I just haven't decided what I'm going to focus on for May: quality or quantity. I have three Kresley Cole books to read - and when it comes to trashy romance bodice rippers, KC is at the top of my must-read list - so by getting those three read I know I'd be reading quality trash. On the other hand, my numbers are down this year and have a bunch of Harlequin Flipsides on my shelf that would be quick reads and I could probably knock out six of those in a month. Decisions, decisions...

I Just Flew in From Vegas...

... and boy are my arms tired!

Heh. Snort. My inner nerd couldn't resist that one.

But really, I did just get back from vacation. I'm exhausted. But SO.HAPPY. My vacation didn't go completely as planned. I did get about 1 to 1-1/2 hours to myself every morning, but the hotel pool was closed at that hour. 'Cuz you know I was getting up at the ungodly hour of 6:30am. But still, I had time to drink a [insert big coffee chain name here] Caffe Latte every morning and do a bit of gambling before heading to my room to read.

I didn't read as much as I expected, mostly because Pride and Prejudice turned out to be longer than I thought. I finished it! Review coming tomorrow. I started about, oh, five words of The Peach Keeper by Sarah-with-two-last-names [darnit. I hate when I can't remember author's names!] before I fell asleep on the plane. I picked it up tonight and I had to force myself to put it down, so it should go fairly quickly. Then I'll probably take a break from the Nook to read the book club book.

Hopefully April is the month I get back on track with reading.

March Review

I should be packing my suitcase right now for vacation, but I'm thinking about books instead. I've been thinking about books a lot lately. They seem to have taken over my house - The Spawn has been obsessing over books. He managed to pick up all three of The Hunger Games series and The Grimm Legacy for his birthday. All of which I want to read. I woke up the other morning thinking about books... I guess there are worse things in life.

As I mentioned, I'm supposed to be packing for vacation. The Boyfriend and I leave Monday morning for a week in Las Vegas. No work. No kids. No work. No housework. No work.... Seriously, I'm at the point where The Boyfriend could take me to the South Pole for a week and it would be fine with me. I just.need.to.get.away. I'm expecting that I'll have a bit of down time in Vegas during the mornings. By habit I've become an early riser and The Boyfriend, well, he's not. And I'm going to enjoy having those mornings to myself. I fully plan on using that time to sit by the pool and read.

With that thought in mind, I'm switching up the Book Challenge genre a little bit. April is supposed to be Trashy Romance (or as a friend calls them: Bodice Rippers), but due to traveling I'm going to switch it with May which is Oddo (my Nook). This makes it alot easier to pack.

So, onto the books. March turned out well despite the slow start. I read three of four. April, I haven't quite selected the books I'm going to read although I have started Pride and Prejudice - and seriously, why have I never read this book before? It's funny! The other books will be randomly selected from my Nook library. We'll both be surprised.

The one book that won't be on the Nook will be the Book Club read. It was my turn to pick and I chose The Thirteenth Tale. It's a re-read for me (about 300 books ago) so I'm excited to see if I enjoy it as much as I remember.

I've Done A Bad Bad Thing

Once upon a time there was a girl who wanted an eReader. She grew up, got tired of her fairy godmother acting like a jerk so the girl went out and bought her own eReader. But like all fairy tales, there's a story behind "The End".

I love my Nook. Alot. I wish I would have waited so I didn't have to do an upgrade. I've been thinking about it for 3+ months and last night I finally did it. I bought a Nook Tablet. It's main function for me is still going to be as an eReader, but I couldn't turn away from the bonus features as I will be traveling a bit through the rest of the year. And it's in color! Perfect for kids books!

So what am I going to do with my old Nook? It's being re-gifted to The Spawn for his 10th birthday.

I feel like I've done a bad thing. A waste of money considering how little I've been reading lately. Maybe this is the jump start that I need.

February Review

I promise that I am not going to complain about how much Life is kicking my butt these days. But it is. It's kicking me so hard, I have a broken tail bone. Or that could have been from being my usual "graceful" self and sliding down the basement steps... Moving on!

The 2012 Book Challenge is not going well. I'll see if I can turn it around in the next few months. So let's talk about February. You know. Now that March is almost half over...

I read... two books (kind of). Hold your applause.

So let's talk about March... yeah. If I read two books, I'm counting it as a good month. Seriously kids, some times success can only be measured in baby steps. The genre is Self-Help (really wishing I had kept that copy of Cloning For Dummies, right now) and the goal is 4 books in March. Who are we kidding? It's not going to happen (trying out a little reverse psychology). Anyways... here's what I'd like to read this month:

1. The Grass Dancer by Susan Power (book club)
2. Behavior Mismatch: How to Manage "Problem" Employees Whose Actions Don't Match Your Expectations by Rebecca B. Mann
3. How to Write a Book and Get It Published by Tom Evans
4. On Writing Well by William Zinsser

Wish me luck!

January Review

It's close enough to the end of the month that I can post my review. January started out strong and energetic but then stalled out around day four. Pretty awesome, huh? Yeah, I'm kind of proud right now. [where is that sarcasm font when I need it?]

I read three books, kind of. All of them I started in 2010, two of them I finished. One I have to mark as uncompleted (which in my world still counts as being read).

1. Keeping The House by Ellen Baker (Book Club Selection) Finished
2. Lenz by Georg Buechner Finished
3. House Rules by Jodi Picoult  - Marking as uncompleted. But I tried, oh man, did I try.

In the category of Old Books, I decided to take a look at what I had on my nightstand to accomplish this month and possibly do some culling. Some of these books... well, let me break it down. Here's the three that are going in the donation box and why:

My Name is Memory by Ann Brashares
Why? I cheated and read the first 30 pages. The writing felt mediocre, so I did some skimming to see if it improved at all... it doesn't. Very disappointing. I was looking forward to this book.

Skeleton Crew by Stephen King
No matter what I did, I couldn't start this book. The guy's name in big letters across the cover is awe-inspiring and intimidating in and among itself. The size of the book... I don't think I have it in me to be freaked out for 500+ pages.

The Lost Symbol by Dan Brown
A friend who's judgment in all things bookish I trust told me it's an okay read. For just "an okay read" I don't think I have the time to devote to a 500+ page book.

In some ways I'm sad to see them go, on the other hand, it's a sigh of relief that I don't have to figure out how to fit them back on my book shelf.

So what's up for February? [insert excited squeal here] I can't wait to get into this month's "genre": Favorite Books. There's very few books that I deem as keepers. Pretty much Harry Potter and Diana Gabaldon's Outlander series [low mumbling: and the Twilight series] are all I keep on that shelf. Which is crazy because I NEVER have time to re-read these books that I seriously love. So I'm making time. The two month goal is 6 books. This month I'll settle for 3. Unfortunately before I start I have the unpleasant business of reading the book club selection... The Notebook. I have a serious hate for anything Nicholas Sparks. I don't know how he became such a "great author" when the guy can't.write. If anything, he's my inspiration that I will some day be a published author. End rant.

1. The Notebook by Nicholas Sparks
2. A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens [fell in love with this book in high school]
3. Outlander by Diana Gabaldon
4. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

It's gonna be a good, good month. As soon as I get through the first book...

File This Under...

Book Challenges. I've done a few in my day. Generally I fail at them. Case in point, last year's Self Challenge. Heck, I can't even ban myself from buying more books. The last few years I've challenged myself with a goal of books to read, starting in 2006 with a 104 book challenge, I've tweaked it over the years depending on what's going on in my life.

This year I'm going to try something different. An idea I got, believe it or not, from a book I didn't really care for. The Happiness Project was a book about a woman's twelve month journey to find what made her happy. I know that books make me happy. I also know that I get anxious when my TBR shelf gets out of hand. So, I'm combining the two goals to get things back to Happy All The Time. So, here's the basics:

• a genre for each month
• a set number of books for that month
• one little exception: I will have one book each month that is different than the genre for book club

January and July: The genre is Old Books. (In my world, this is a genre, deal with it.) I'll be reading the books that have been around the longest on my TBR shelf. The goal is 10 books total for the two months.

February and August: The genre is Favorite Books. I'll be reading books that have been on my re-read list for some time: Diana Gabaldon's Outlander series, Harry Potter, and Charles Dickens. The goal is 6 books total. (Dude, the Outlander and HP books are HUUUGE. Six books are going to be a challenge.)

March and September: The genre is Self-Help. I'll be reading books either from my personal shelf or from the library at work. The goal is 8 books total.

April and December: The genre is Trashy Romance Novels. I used to read these books exclusively. Now I read them sporadically. I have quite a few of them hanging around, most of them quick Harlequin reads. The goal is 12 books total.

May and June: The genre is Oddo. I can read any genre book as long as it's on my Nook (named Oddo). These will mostly be books that I have purchased but may also include library books. The goal is 8 books total.

October and November: The genre is Writing. I have quite a few books that I picked up for research and reference for writing my novel. October I'll spend reading those books. November I'll spend writing for NaNoWriMo. The goal is 3 books.

This brings my total goal to 47 books for the year. This should be completely do-able, even with taking a month off to write.

In a Quandary

I have a little bit of a dilemma. No, maybe that's too dramatic. It's really more of a puzzler. Or maybe it's just my OCD flaring up... I have three books from 2011 that I haven't finished. THREE. One book is dangerously close (within 100 pages) to being done, but the other two are, well, no where near close. They are so far from close that if they were arranged alphabetically, they'd start with the letter Z. I don't want to put either of these books down, but I also have a little book challenge going on [details coming later today] and finishing these two books would seriously derail the challenge. Oh what to do what to do! Sigh.

quan·da·ry/ˈkwänd(ə)rē/

Noun:	Perplexity or uncertainty over what to do in a difficult situation: "Jim is in a quandary". A difficult situation; a practical dilemma.
Synonyms:	perplexity - embarrassment - dilemma - puzzle "Quandary" is a funny sounding word. I had to look it up to check my spelling. I thought I'd include the Dictionary entry.

Distraction

*Sigh* It's beautiful. And seriously distracting. I've spent several hours looking through this book since I got it on Thursday.

To say that the pictures are beautiful simply isn't adequate. The colors, the scenery, the characters... it's leaving me speechless.

I can't wait for this book to get my full undivided attention, but right now, I need to put it down. Probably in a locked drawer. And give the key to someone I can trust.