In Memory Of Meals Gone By

And what a meal it was!

Things I want to do before I die - Redux and Amended

Things I want to do before I die
14 Done! I'm pleased that I'm able to achieve atleast one thing every year. Talk of baby steps!

1. Run a 28 mile marathon.
2. Spend a summer in Paris.
3. Go backpacking across Europe.
4. Actually paint a masterpiece - a mural.
5. Weigh 55 kgs.
6. Walk on the Golden Gate bridge. - twice - yay!
7. Learn to speak French.
8. Watch a Bob Dylan concert.
9. See the Rolling Stones.
10. Bungee Jump.
11. See the Amazon Rain forests.
12. Go to Brazil.
13. Write a book.
14. Swim with a dolphin.
15. Meet Bob Dylan, even to get tongue tied and make an complete ass of myself.
16. See the Sistine Chapel.
17. Learn to eat Caviar without puking.
18. Ride a Gondola in Venice. - NEW
19. Shave my head.
20. Learn to fly an aircraft, even a tiny one.
21. Learn to play the drums.
22. Go to a Mardi Gras parade in New Orleans.
23. Go ski-ing in the alps.
24. Grow my own herbs and tomatoes and own a tiny farm.
25. See the Louvre.
26. See the Great Barrier Reef.
27. Walk along the Great Wall of China.
28. Go snorkelling in the Lakshwadweep Islands.
29. Learn to control my road rage.
30. Drink feni at Dona Paula, Goa.
31. Drink champagne in Champagne.
32. Drink Bordeaux in Bordeaux.
33. Pluck tea in Darjeeling and run along the furrows in a tea garden. - NEW
34. Find out more about my family's past.
35. Totter on a Manolo Blahnik.
36. Go hiking in the himalayas.
37. See the wild-asses in the Rann of Kutch.
38. Go to the valley of flowers.
39. Make my own cartoon strip.
40. Learn how to use a potter's wheel and make myself a bowl.
41. Learn to fly a kite.
42. Plant an orchard.
43. Buy original paintings and not just prints.

Chicken Dumpling Soup

I love dumplings and have discovered they are fairly easy to make. Very easy in fact, if you have been cooking and know your way around a kitchen. This chicken dumpling soup is hearty and very satisfying AND easy to make. I normally make a big batch of dumplings enough for 3-4 dinners. These keep well in fridge for about a week. Sorry about the quality of pics. I cook at night ALWAYS and mostly am too tired to plan my pics. So, the pics here are meant to give one a general idea. Anyway, this is the recipe.
Ingredients
For the dumplings - Ground chicken 500 gms, celery 2 stalks chopped fine (optional - I love chicken and celery, so I use it), coriander about 2 tablespoonfuls chopped v fine, 2 green chillies chopped fine, 2 spring onions chopped v fine, 1 red onion chopped very fine, ginger minced - about 1 heaped teaspoon, salt to taste, fresh ground pepper, 2 eggs, corn flour
For the soup - basic chicken stock - about 1.5 litres/ 2 litres
Method
Combine the dumpling ingredients and add enough cornflour to make a mixture that looks like this.
Heat the stock to a boil, then turn DOWN the heat and drop tablespoonfuls of the dumpling batter into the boiling stock GENTLY. I used my hands because thats how I cook. Keep adjusting the heat and when the dumplings rise to the surface, they are done. This takes about 5-15 minutes depending on the size of your dumplings.

Drain and take out the dumplings and keep making batches until your batter is finished. The dumpling look like this.

Since, I am greedy, I ate some just like that. But, if you have more self control, wait until all dumplings are done, then turn up heat of the stock until it boild furiously, tilt all the dumplings gently into it, let them bubble away merrily for 2-3 minutes and then ladle out and eat.

The above picture does not do justice to the wonder of this soup, but it is restorative and very tasty.

How To Say "No"

1. Just say "No", I really do not care you killed a fake uncle or how tired your poor, hardworking husband gets after returning from ummm... whatever.
2. If you have a story, stick to it. It can either be a dead fake uncle OR tired hardworking husband. Not both. One story per excuse is credible. Now, if you add a mumps ridden kid to it too, do you want me to write you a cheque too?
3. If it is an excuse used often, remember what you used last time.
4. Try to make it short, because rambling on and on makes your feeble lie even more feebler. Plus, just a "No" is enough. Most people dont really care about your reasons.
5. If "illness" is your standard excuse, I'm not setting a foot into your house ever, because who really wants a slew of infections? Ewwwwww.....
6. Most importantly, be gracious. Image is everything and you really don't want the reason why you were asked in the first place, flushed down the toilet, do ya?

Around The World In 80 Blogs - Calcutta, India

I made a commitment to everyday stranger and being the primary cardholder of the better late than never party, here I go...

I also have to admit that lately work and my other commitments have kept me very occupied and I forgot to take pictures, so good people forgive the pictures I stole from the Internet and I fully promise to post my own very soon. Anyway, this is where I stay now and it now feels like home.

I live in Calcutta and I have a love-hate relationship with Calcutta. Also, for those of you who don't know, Calcutta was renamed Kolkata but to me Calcutta it is and Calcutta it will be. For those who want to know more about this distant city, you may click HERE. However, in this post I shall simply mention what I love about Calcutta and what has, despite most annoyances made me stay here.

I moved to Calcutta after being stood up at the altar and after a decade, I can look back and really laugh at that. In part, Calcutta has healed me, restored my faith in goodness, enabled me to laugh from the bottom of my tummy and this is where I met the loves of my life - yes loves - sweetheart, passions and my missions in life. Sounds dramatic, but thats me - surprisingly melodramatic, which may be attributed to this very, very melodramatic city.

There are many, many places to visit in Calcutta and things to see, and when one visits Calcutta, one should know that this Indian city takes art and culture very seriously. When I moved to Calcutta first, I checked out all the touristy spots - the many (dilapidated) churches and the even more interesting cemeteries, the markets, the temples (though Kalighat put me off temples for life), the botanical garden and the bridges. Over the years, I have few favourites that I visit over and over again.

This is St. Paul's Cathedral, located in the middle of Birla planetium and the Academy of Fine Arts. This is where I go sometimes to feel calm and midnight mass at Christmas is traditionally Anglo Indian and very very interesting to me. I go to the Academy of Fine Arts that is located right beside St. Paul's practically every week and it is always very pleasant to look at the peace and calm of the Cathedral during the drive. The Academy of Fine Arts lets out its galleries to artists or whoever wishes to exhibit anything! It is always an interesting visit, as one can bump into famous artists, Calcutta Culture Vultures and a lot of people with intellectual/ arty leanings. Sometimes, one also comes across very talented lesser known artists and it gives me a lot of pleasure to discover and encourage them. So, this is the general vicinity in which I spend most of my Saturday evenings.
After checking out the Academy, more often than not, I like to go to Oxford Bookstore on Park Street, which used to be one of the swisher shopping addresses. Right now, it has dropped in popularity because of the millions of malls that are being built around the city, but Park Street has a charm and air that is truly unique to Calcutta. Oxford Bookstore, I think is well over 85 years old and a great place to browse. Nobody disturbs you, you can read full books without salespeople shooing you, has a great Tea Shop where you can settle down and read a book and sip hot or cold tea for HOURS at an end. You may also come across an old Gentleman in a tie (ALWAYS) pottering about. That, is a dear friend of mine - Mr. Motwani, who I feel has worked at Oxford for ever and if he likes you is most helpful. This behaviour, long forgotten is what contributes to the charm of Calcutta. A visit to Calcutta is incomplete without dropping in at Oxford and Flurys a tearoom, which is another Calcutta fixture. Now, I have LOTS of complaints about Flurys, even though I get excellent service because, well, I eat out a LOT. Foodwise, there is nothing outstanding about Flurys, but the atmosphere is charming and it is the best place to people watch.
Again, for most regular readers of my blog (Ok, who am I kidding - nobody, sigh!), my annoyance with clubs in Calcutta is legendary. Calcutta society identifies itself by the clubs it belongs to. Said society being umm.... on the wrong side of fifty now, which is my hugest grouse, since I am still very much on the right side of 34! Most clubs in Calcutta - Calcutta Club, Tollygunge Club, Bengal Club, The Calcutta Cricket and Football Club (which is practically opposite where I live), the Saturday Club, The Royal Calcutta Turf Club, Royal Calcutta Golf Club, so on and so forth are mostly social clubs. Walking into them, one is transported into another world, and though I feel there is much that I dont like about polite Calcutta society clubwise, it is often interesting to indulge in gossip over a cocktail at whichever club you belong to. That said, MY the good people of Calcutta LOVE to talk! They even have a special word for conversing - "Adda". Adda at clubs over cocktails - that is also typical Calcutta for you. This is a picture of Saturday Club - a club I frequent sometimes and where I again indulge in people-watching! Another really interesting place that I have grown to like is the Calcutta Race Course. No, I don't gamble, but winter afternoons spent at the Race Course, particularly on Derby days is very pleasant. Soft winter sun, beautiful thoroughbreds, the pleasant grounds of the Royal Calcutta Turf Club, the Victoria Memorial gleaming in the far distance - interesting and fun occasionally.

Now, most of what I have described above is mostly South Calcutta. I live in South Calcutta and though I am sure there are many interesting places in North, East and West Calcutta, I dont know them well enough to talk about them. Hey, Calcutta is a HUGE 13 million people city afterall! Do you expect me to know everything?

I live close to the Birla Mandir(Temple). Well, what do I say? The picture below looks ok, but the temple itself is very artificial and kitschy. I dont like it at all, though it is a convenient landmark. What I like about the Birla Temple is the concert hall below the temple in the anterooms. The concert hall is used for classical music concerts, plays and the like. Very convenient for me and just a hop, skip and jump away from home!

Apart from Art/ Culture/ temples etc. food is the other passion in Calcutta. People in Calcutta live to eat. I could go on and on and on about food in Calcutta. One never can be ill-fed in Calcutta and if you are, well, you dont know me. Heh!

Sure, there are a LOT of annoyances in Calcutta. The local government, the poverty (an annoyance because one feels helpless in the face of local apathy), the grime, the lack of professionalism, the lack of young professionals my age and the lack of quality entertainment. However, Calcutta is still charming and very interesting. I like to think I am contributing positively and if one has the patience, one may even start loving this crazy city.

Sugar Baby

If I had to eat just one kind of thing again and again and again, I would eat dimsum. Cheating, yeah, but yeah, dimsum.
So, in memory of dimsums that I dont remember where I ate...
The condiments...

Mushroom and chicken - Too, too good.

Prawn hargaos. Not bad, not bad at all.

This was actually the dessert, a sago and mango dessert. Words cannot describe the wonderfulness.

Shiumai.
There is something to be said in that I tried to remember where I ate this meal but I still remember the flavors - Singapore? San Francisco? Seattle? Was it last year? Was it this year? What is wrong with me? Why cant I remember this? I think it was either San Francisco or Seattle. Still that dessert - Wow!

The Rudest People I Know

• Chinese lawyers - not to be racist or anything, but chinese people can very successfully make you feel like furniture if there is white skin around.
• American women lawyers - again not be racist or anything, but most American women lawyers are so entitled, the world exists only for them, the sun rises only to shine on their day and Apple made ipods, only to provide music to their ears, which is a blessing actually because this way atleast they don't talk to you.
• American stewardesses - I'm sorry, I didnt know asking for water was a crime against humanity. Enough said.
• NRIs - OHMYGOD! Most NRIs have the solutions to ALL of Indian problems and never stop talking about them whether you want to listen to them or not.

Square Peg In a Round Hole

Growing up, my over-polite mother's greatest horror was that I and my siblings would have no "tameez" and the importance of minding our Ps and Qs was dinned into us like nothing else. Mother shouldn't have worried. In a world rapidly forgetting "tameez"/ manners, I'm a fish out of water. I RSVP like nobody's business. I am polite mostly, not a pushover mind you, but very, very polite. I am always punctual - unless millions of people decide to get married on the same day and inconveniencing those who do not by driving in droves to shaadi-baaris (marriage houses - just dont ask). I don't ask rude questions. I don't inconvenience people mostly. I am not rude or deride people generally, whatever I may think of them. I don't play loud music. I don't talk loudly. I don't like intruding on anyone's space.
Which is why I feel the world would benefit greatly if the fear of being ganwaar was paramount. It would certainly make the earth more bearable. I think it has been the greatest failing of our generation that nobody is ashamed of anything. Not of ignorance, not of being rude, not of being uncouth, not of being uneducated, not of even being philistines. The only thing people are ashamed of is being poor and that is what has ruined my generation. I'm not glorifying poverty, afterall I love making money, but in a correct manner, what I mean is that forgetting everything in a mad rush to make pots of money is sickening.
These are the top of my grouses about ganwarpan and I can already imagine nani with a satisfied smirk in her babulal dhobi starched saris and matching jewellery beaming down at me from heaven -

• People not teaching their kids manners in public places. For the millionth time - NO, it is not cute when your brat comes and stares at the food on my table and exclaims loudly, "Mummy, ye kya hai?"
• People staring. Seriously, Indians stare a lot and I hate that.
• People talking loudly in cellphones in public places, especially places like hospitals, banks, bookshops, restaurants and movie theatres. Seriously, I have zero interest in your ganwaar life, just shut up and stop imposing your loud, ganwaar conversation on me. Ladies - The world REALLY is not interested in you or your love life, so speak softly.
• People who cant queue and who constantly move into my space by standing too close to me. I just hate that.
• Social climbers
• People who cant focus on a conversation and who's eyes keep darting around the room while you are talking to them to keep a tab on who to latch onto next.
• Most men in Calcutta. One word - UGH! Either too creepy and slimebally or ugly and pot bellied and unfit and having not achieved anything in life but mediocrity - just very, very uninteresting to me. Now, why dont they get that?

Anyhow. I could go on and on, but sadly life has other pressing demands, so over and out. For Now.

Lurkers Speak Out

I discovered this blog has lurkers! Eeeeeeeeeee.....
Well, lurkers, speak out. You know you want to!

Things That Annoy Me About Art

1. Really, really bad art.
2. Acolytes who mislead people into thinking they are wonderful. Occasionally people need to be told the truth, especially if they are planning Art as a career. There are lots of commercial avenues available. Everyone who is skilled, doesn't need to be an artist. No, seriously.
3. Housewives who have no clue about art apart from being on first name terms with some really bad artists, either posing as artists and/ or running galleries because it gives them something to do and feel hip.
4. Paintings with socially relevant stuff written on them. It just annoys me.
5. Art auctions that inflate art prices and the egos of artists. This works on the really rich. Like they say, a sucker is born every minute. Every art auction thrives on some rich fool who needs to make a statement about arriving.
6. Gallery owners dropping names of the rich and famous, like it will make me buy anything. See No. 5. If you've fooled some rich sucker who has more money than sense (atleast artwise), do you really think you can get away with it all the time.
7. Socialites painting. Enough said!
8. Not to be a total asshole or anything, but swathes of artists reacting to Nandigram etc and putting up shows with horrifyingly bad art.
9. People claiming to love art and knowing many artists (like that is something relevant) and thus being art aficionados, and then when you start talking with them, not knowing anything.
10. All the weird inauguration rubbish for exhibitions. Actually, this should have been #1.

In The Garden

Living in a flat gets claustrophobic sometimes and I long for greenery. As always, I have ambitious plans and a month back, with hope springing eternal in my heart, with notions of verdant creepers and leaves springing from my tiny flat nooks, I employed a gardener. I had 3 pots then, to which I added a Ficus and an Aloe Vera plant. When the sum total of 5 pots was presented to the gardener, he smirked a little. I hoped he too would appreciate my thoughts. Turns out, my gardener works in a nearby mansion in Queens Park and has started adding to my collection by propagating the excesses into my humble pots. Everytime I return home on Tuesday, I find new plants greeting me saucily. Today's addition was the cactii - second from the right and left on the bottom row. Looking at my plants, I feel grounded and peaceful and at home, something that I have never felt before.

Earlier, my black thumb ensured that whatever plant I tried to grow, I killed either by over watering or forgetting to water it at all. Now, even my delicate Aloe vera plant has a new tendril - that is not visible in this photo since it was taken at 10 in the night. I wanted to grow orchids and have been a frequent orchid murderer. Now, however an orchid fest seems possible.

The Snapper Saga

Last Sunday I came across white snapper and red snapper that looked really fresh at Spencer's fish shop, so I got both and also mackerel. Now, I am surprised. The white snapper, red snapper and the mackerel are way cheaper than Beckty, Hilsa and even rui! So, I am on a mackerel and snapper binge fest!

So, today was a Red Snapper dinner. This recipe has been pieced from Kylie Kwong's show, Ken Hom's recipes and also flavors from Vietnam and Thailand. This one is deep fried Red Snapper with a tangy chilly tamarind sauce. This is so simple and took me about 30 mins to prep and cook. The sauce was tamarind water, lime juice, sugar, garlic macerated, chillies chopped finely, shallots minced, coriander, mint leaves (that for some reason arent visible in the photo) and fish sauce. The fish was dusted with salt, pepper and flour and deep fried just like Kylie Kwong's technique and it was absolutely smashing! The fish was deep fried first and the sauce just poured over it. This was so good, it should be made illegal. I kid you not.

Red Snapper deep fried with tamarind chilly garlic sauce.

On Sunday, for dinner, I decided to bake the White Snapper. I wanted a clean, plain mouthfeel, so decided to keep the fish free from spices. I rubbed the snapper with olive oil, lime juice, salt and pepper, threw some garlic flakes over it and plonked it in the oven at about 190deg C for about 20-25 minutes. This was perfection. The fish was cooked perfectly. The freshness of the fish was not drowned by any spice or flavouring and each bite was moist, flaky and tasty.

Baked White Snapper

I got flowers in the spring

I asked for masses of flowers. I got masses of flowers. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you so very much!

Do Not Be Angry When You Go To Sleep

If you want a lover
Ill do anything you ask me to
And if you want another kind of love
Ill wear a mask for you
If you want a partner
Take my hand
Or if you want to strike me down in anger
Here I stand
Im your man

If you want a boxer
I will step into the ring for you
And if you want a doctor
Ill examine every inch of you
If you want a driver
Climb inside
Or if you want to take me for a ride
You know you can
Im your man

Ah, the moons too bright
The chains too tight
The beast wont go to sleep
Ive been running through these promises to you
That I made and I could not keep
Ah but a man never got a woman back
Not by begging on his knees
Or Id crawl to you baby
And Id fall at your feet
And Id howl at your beauty
Like a dog in heat
And Id claw at your heart
And Id tear at your sheet
Id say please, please
Im your man

And if youve got to sleep
A moment on the road
I will steer for you
And if you want to work the street alone
Ill disappear for you
If you want a father for your child
Or only want to walk with me a while
Across the sand
Im your man
If you want a lover
Ill do anything you ask me to
And if you want another kind of love
Ill wear a mask for you

My Vada-Pav Eating Expedition

I'm not really into street food. I am however, into Anthony Bourdain. And if Anthony can eat Vada-pav once and dig it, should I not atleast have one Vada-pav experience? So, desperate measures were in order. In desperate times, one turns to moms. Non? So, I rang up mata and explained the dire necessity of eating Vada-pav. I needed to visit Mumbai and partake of Vada-pav or else life was not worth living.

Well, in summary, Veni, Vidi, Veci......

Mata and Mr. Mata dutifully surveyed all the Vadewale in their area and came up with Shreedutt on the Panvel-Pune Highway. This was a sight to watch. No sooner were the vadas out of the kadhai, they landed right in the plates of people who just could not seem to get enough. We also had misal, saboodaana khichdi and kokum sherbet, but thats for another post. The vade were good.
A week after that, I went to Pune to my visit my parents and I related our Vada-pav expedition and my parents told me of Joshi Vadewaale, apparently the best Vadewale of Pune, who according to them must be closed due to Swine flu, because EVERY FUCKING thing in Pune was closed. However, in the spirit of things and to further our Vada-pav research, my father went on an exploratory mission and located 2 vadewaale in Baner (where they stay) - Rohit Vadewaale and one another who's name, sadly I have forgotten now. Anyhow, Vade were obtained "purely for research" - 4 each - Daddy dearest being a scientist always does VERY precise things, and consumed "purely for research"! The things we do for science!

The Other One

Rohit Vadewale

Hmmmmmm..... The truth was that we couldnt decide which were better. According to me, potatoes - good, deep fried in batter - good, soft pav - good, deep fried chillies - good, garlic chutney - good. All together - Good.

However, the Shreedutt vade had an edge because they were piping hot, the garlic chutney had an interesting edge. However, the pav was not so great.

The End!

What I Want For My Birthday

I have been so busy, I totally forgot to post my normal greedy, supplicating, hoping Birthday Gift List that ONLY my sister seems to read and works on. OHIFORGOT, no one else EVER reads my blog. Sigh! So, this is yet another greedy, supplicating Birthday Gift wishlist.

1. Masses of flowers.
2. Pure White Linen (the key factor is "pure". White linen is NOT pure white linen.) - just to make this less of a puzzle for people who do not have boobs - this is perfume. Ok? And, I want a lifetime supply, because whatever perfume I start using, gets discontinued.
3. 5 pairs of the best shoes ever - coccinelle, prada and geox - Me, i'm all about simple and specific tastes. AND I don't get these brands in Calcutta and I havent had the time to shop ANYWHERE ELSE.
4. 5 or 6 cases of good prosecco OR Moet & Chandon. Not a bottle, okay?
5. My weight in unpasteurised, blue cheese, preferably french.
6. My weight in iberian ham OR parma ham.
7. A personal trainer who will come, drag me out of home and shout me into submission and make me exercise.
8. A bathtub and someone who will get my bathroom done promising no dust or headaches and chasing after plumbers, masons etc.
9. A really great lamp.
10. The perfect jeans.
11. The best hug ever that lasts for atleast 7 minutes.
12. A holiday in Hawaii OR Istanbul OR anywhere in Italy (with airconditioning) OR Mauritius OR fucking anywhere.
13. A single chocolate brownie.
14. A blackberry flip pearl.
15. The entire season of family guy.
16. Many, many paintings.
17. Mysorepak.
18. Veg Chop from Harry's.
19. A size 30 waist.
20. Did I mention masses and masses and masses of flowers?

I only wish I wasnt getting older. Sigh!

Mums The Word

Everything tastes better at mom's. EVERYTHING. Even plain roti and dal. Ask my nephew, he'll vouch for it. WHOWOULDVETHUNK? I miss the oldies so much!

People Who Should Have Swine Flu But Wont Because Their Sole Mission In Life is To Annoy Me

1. Behenji
2. Barkha Dutt (Yes sweetie, THATS how annoying you really are)
3. Most of TOI
4. Didi
5. The Karats
6. Most of the CPI M
7. Sushmaji
8. Basically all politicians who irritate me
9. The fat woman who asked me if I was single because I was divorced, widowed or because no man would marry me (NOT MAKING THIS UP)
10. All jay walkers
11. All people who can't stand in a queue in Haldirams and Spencers
12. Pretentious artists
13. Pretentious art critics who write catalogues for pretentious artists
14. Pretentious gallery owners who make pretentious art critics write catalogues for pretentious artists
15. 98% of Bollywood film industry starting with the Bachchans.

Go on, add to the list... You know you want to!

Swine Flu - Bite My Ass

Well, I am back from Bombay. I went wearing a N95 mask but found that too suffocating and it looked too much like a bra cup for my comfort, so I decided to put my daily dose of seven seas cod liver oil to the test and took off the mask and braved the elements. After I took off the mask, few thoughts came to my mind (Yes! In Bulleted form. I have decided to only think in Bullets from now on):

1. Swine flu has killed less than 100 people in India so far. The population of India is almost 1.2 billion, so the odds of my survival are WAYYY high.
2. India deserves regular culling of people. 1.2 billion and not stopping. We Indians, put rabbits to shame. So, I am all for epidemics culling the weaker.
3. Swine flu seems to be a relatively painless way to die compared to cancer, aids, malaria, TB, getting mowed down by Sanjeev Nanda like people, etc. You just get the flu and then you die. End of story.
4. Should I be step-motherly to Natco Pharma? If one supports the footwear industry, the garment industry, the music industry and the publishing industry, why not include the Tamiflu producing industry too? No, no, a million times No.
5. Why doesnt the media clutch their pearls about malaria, TB, cancer, dengue etc. which kill more people than this swine flu?
6. To take swine flu as a lethal killer seriously, I need to see atleast 5000-10000 people all together drop down dead like nine pins or else, whats the point of being a deadly disease?

So, you swine flu can bite my ass. Kill atleast a million people, and then we shall talk.

Current Tragedy

I have not bought a shoe in over 6 months. Am I short of dough? No. Am I downsizing? No. Have I sworn not to Buy shoes? NO. Do I not have time to go shopping? No. Have I lost the will to shop for shoes? OH GOD NO. Then why have I not bought even one pair in the last 6 months?
BECAUSE THERE IS NOT ONE GOOD PAIR TO FIND IN FUCKING CALCUTTA. EITHER THE STYLE SUCKS AND MORE OFTEN THAN NOT, THE WORKMANSHIP IS TOO AWFUL TO BE TRUE.

NOW, I finally know why I have been in such a bad mood! Ah!