The Wit and Wisdom of Repo Man, as it applies to the Administration of George W. Bush.

Thanks IMDB, although I gotta say, it’s rather annoying when you go around delete a whole bunch of quotes that have been compiled over the last five years. It isn’t like you don’t have really big servers. Some of those quotes from Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Mystery Science Theater 3000 were classics, and now they’re not there anymore… How sad.

Agent Rogersz: Good evening, Otto. This is Agent Rogersz. I'm going to ask you a few questions. Since time is short and you may lie, I'm going to have to torture you. But I want you to know, it isn't personal.

J. Frank Parnell: You ever feel as if your mind had started to erode?

J. Frank Parnell: Ever been to Utah? Ra-di-a-tion. Yes, indeed. You hear the most outrageous lies about it. Half-baked goggle-box do-gooders telling everybody it's bad for you. Pernicious nonsense. Everybody could stand a hundred chest X-rays a year. They ought to have them, too. When they canceled the project it almost did me in. One day my mind was full to bursting. The next day - nothing. Swept away. But I'll show them. I had a lobotomy in the end.

Bud: Look at 'em, ordinary f**king people, I hate 'em.

Agent Rogersz: It happens sometimes. People just explode. Natural causes.

Leila: I'd torture someone in a second if it was up to me.

Leila: What if he's innocent?
Agent Rogersz: No one is innocent.

Otto: Some weird f**kin' shit, eh, Bud?

And, I implore you, please click on Wit and Wisdom for the other posts in this series. You won't be sorry.

Repo Man photo from, uh, I’m not really certain…

The wit and wisdom of Law and Order, as it applies to the adminstration of George W. Bush.

From IMBD, in case you were wondering.

Det. Ed Green: If you're going to lie, be creative or we'll get bored.

Lt. Anita Van Buren: Do you believe him?
Det. Lennie Briscoe: I believe on a good day he couldn't hit his ass with both hands.

Emil Skoda: That's just a load of rehearsed crap.

Det. Lennie Briscoe: Even though you are a taxpayer, you know, we don't actually work for you personally.

Detective Rivera: You know, McCoy, you wanna put the bad guys behind bars you have to get your hands dirty.
Jack McCoy: The problem is, detective, sometimes it doesn't stop at the hands.

There's more of these, if you click on "wit and wisdom", if you are at all interested. Some of these aren't that funny, just kinda sad, as they are so true.

The Wit and Wisdom of Star Wars, as it applies to the administration of George W. Bush.

Thanks and stuff to IMDB for these quotes. (For additional posts in the “Wit and Wisdom” series, click on the link at the bottom.)


Dr. Evazan: [explaining] He doesn't like you.
Luke: Sorry.
Dr. Evazan: I don't like you either.

Darth Vader: I find your lack of faith disturbing.

C-3PO: [to R2-D2] This is all your fault.

Han Solo: This is *not* gonna work.
Luke: Why didn't you say so before?
Han Solo: I *did* say so before.

Han Solo: It's not my fault.

Luke: I don't think so. I'm looking for a great warrior.
Yoda: Ohhh. Great warrior.
[laughs and shakes his head]
Yoda: Wars not make one great.

Darth Vader: Calrissian. Take the princess and the Wookie to my ship.
Lando: You said they'd be left at the city under my supervision.
Darth Vader: I am altering the deal. Pray I don't alter it any further.

C-3PO: Excuse me sir, but might I inquire as to what's going on?
Han Solo: Why not?
C-3PO: Impossible man.

C-3PO: Sir, If I may venture an opinion...
Han Solo: I'm not really interested in your opinion 3PO.

[after choking Captain Needa to death]
Darth Vader: Apology accepted, Captain Needa.

Princess Leia: I have a bad feeling about this...

Yoda: I cannot teach him. The boy has no patience.
Obi-Wan: He will learn patience.
Yoda: Much anger in him.

Yoda: Good relations with the Wookies, I have.

The Emperor: [to the Senate] In order to ensure our security and continuing stability, the Republic will be reorganized into the first Galactic Empire, for a safe and secure society which I assure you will last for ten thousand years.
[Senate fills with enormous applause]
Padmé: [to Bail Organa] So this is how liberty dies... with thunderous applause.

Obi-Wan: Anakin, my allegiance is to the Republic... to democracy!
Anakin Skywalker: If you're not with me, you're my enemy.
Obi-Wan: Only a Sith Lord deals in absolutes.

Darth Sidious: Once more, the Sith will rule the galaxy! And... we shall have peace.

Qui-Gon Jinn: Greed can be a very powerful ally.

Senator Palpatine: There is no civility, only politics.

Qui-Gon Jinn: Do you hear that?
[a rumbling is heard in the distance]
Jar Jar Binks: Yeah.
Qui-Gon Jinn: That is the sound of a thousand terrible things headed this way.
Obi-Wan: If they find us, they will crush us, grind us into TINY pieces and BLAST us into oblivion!

Yoda: Hard to see, the dark side is.

Nute Gunray: My lord, is that... legal?
Darth Sidious: I will make it legal.

Lando Calrissian: Here goes nothing.

The Emperor: If you will not be turned, you will be destroyed.

Padme: You're not all-powerful, Ani.
Anakin: Well, I should be.

Jango Fett: Do you like your army?
Obi-Wan: I look forward to seeing them in action.

Anakin: I've heard this lesson before.
Obi-Wan: You haven't learned anything, Anakin.

Anakin: Someday I will be the most powerful Jedi ever.

Anakin: When I got to them we got into aggressive negotiations.
Padme: Aggressive negotiations? What's that?
Anakin: Ah, well, it's negotiations with a lightsaber.

Anakin: You call this a diplomatic solution?
Padme: No, I call it an aggressive negotiation.

Count Dooku: I have good news for you, my lord. War has begun.
Darth Sidious: Excellent. Everything is going as planned.

Anakin: You're asking me to be rational. I know that is something I cannot do.

Queen Jamillia: The day we stop believing democracy can work is the day we lose it.
Padme: Let's pray that day never comes.

The Wit and Wisdom of The Manchurian Candidate, as applied to the administration of George W. Bush.

Thanks, IMDB.

Marco: Intelligence officer. Stupidity officer is more like it. Pentagon wants to open a Stupidity Division, they know who they can get to lead it.

Raymond Shaw: There are two kinds of people in this world: Those that enter a room and turn the television set on, and those that enter a room and turn the television set off.

Marco: It's not that Raymond Shaw is hard to like. He's IMPOSSIBLE to like!

[a general greets Medal of Honor winner Staff Sgt. Raymond Shaw on his return to the U.S]
General: Congratulations, son. How do you feel?
Raymond Shaw: Like Captain Idiot in Astounding Science comics.

Raymond Shaw: It's a terrible thing to hate your mother. But I didn't always hate her. When I was a child, I only kind of disliked her.

Mrs. Iselin: Oh, Raymond, what is the matter with you? You look as if your head were going to come to a point in the next thirteen seconds.

Bennett Marco: You Arabic?
Eugenie Rose Chaney: No.

Marco: [covering the microphones] Mister Secretary, I'm kind of new at this job, but I don't think it's good public relations to speak that way to a US Senator, even if he is an idiot.

Mrs. Iselin: [to her husband] I keep telling you not to think! You're very, very good at a great many things, but thinking, hon', just simply isn't one of them.

The wit and wisdom of The Simpsons, as it applies to the administration of George W. Bush.

Thanks to the IMDB.

Bart: I'm Bart Simpson. Who the hell are you?

Tom Brady: [shouts] Everyone sucks but me!

Homer Simpson: Sometimes, Marge, you just have to go with your gut.
Marge: You *always* go with your gut. How about for once you listen to your brain?

Mr. Burns: Oh, so mother nature needs a favor? Well, maybe she should have thought of that when she was besetting us with droughts and floods and poison monkeys.

Marge: There's no shame in being a pariah.

Grampa: [to Homer] Make me proud... or at least less ashamed.

Mr. Burns: I can't be responsible for what my goons are ordered to do.

Mr. Burns: Thank you, come again. Smithers, release the hounds.

Kent Brockman: ...and the fluffy kitten played with that ball of string all through the night. On a lighter note, a Kwik-E-Mart clerk was brutally murdered last night.

Homer: Kids, just because I don't care doesn't mean I'm not listening.

Mr. Burns: Smithers, you could learn a thing or two from this braying moron.

Homer: These candidates make me want to vomit in terror.

Rupert Murdoch: What the bloody hell?

Homer: The sun? That's the hottest place on Earth.

Ned Flanders: Science is like a blabbermouth who ruins the movie by telling you how it ends. Well, I say there are some things we don't want to know. Important things.

Homer: I don't mind being called a liar when I'm lying, or about to lie, or just finished lying, but NOT WHEN I'M TELLING THE TRUTH.

Homer: Boy, everyone is stupid except me.

Homer: D'oh!

(Note: Do a search on "wit and wisdom", if you would care to see the other entries in this series.)

The wit and wisdom of The Lord of the Rings, as it applies to the administration of George W. Bush.

Thanks to the IMDB, three times over.


Aragorn: Are you frightened?
Frodo: Yes.
Aragorn: Not nearly frightened enough.

Gandalf: There is only one Lord of the Ring, only one who can bend it to his will. And he does not share power.

Hero Orc: The trees are strong, my lord. Their roots go deep.
Saruman: Rip them all down.

Gollum: It came to me, my own, my love... my... preciousssss.

Frodo: Mordor, Gandalf, is it left or right?

Gandalf: The fate of the world will now be decided.

Sam: Can't you hear yourself? Don't you know who you sound like?

Sam: This looks strangely familiar.
Frodo: Because we've been here before. We're going in circles!

Saruman: We have only to remove those who oppose us.

Smeagol: ...and take it for ME.
Gollum: For us.
Smeagol: Yes, we... we meant for us.

Frodo: It's sticky, what is it?

Gimli: Certainty of death. Small chance of success. What are we waiting for?

The wit and wisdom of the Marx Brothers, as it applies to the administration of George W. Bush

Ambassador Trentino: I am willing to do anything to prevent this war.
Rufus T. Firefly: It's too late. I've already paid a month's rent on the battlefield.

Rufus T. Firefly: You're a brave man. Go and break through the lines. And remember, while you're out there risking your life and limb through shot and shell, we'll be in be in here thinking what a sucker you are.

Rufus T. Firefly: Gentlemen, Chicolini here may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot.

Minister of Finance: Here is the Treasury Department's report, sir. I hope you'll find it clear.
Rufus T. Firefly: Clear? Huh. Why a four-year-old child could understand this report.
[to Bob Roland]
Rufus T. Firefly: Run out and find me a four-year-old child, I can't make head or tail of it.

Rufus T. Firefly: Just for that, you don't get the job I was going to give you.
Chicolini: What job?
Rufus T. Firefly: Secretary of War.
Chicolini: All right, I take it.
Rufus T. Firefly: Sold.

Professor Wagstaff: Is this stuff on the level or are you just making it up as you go along?

Capt. Spaulding: Well, art is art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west is west, and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce, they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now, uh... Now you tell me what you know.

Capt. Spaulding: Pardon me while I have a strange interlude.

Antonio Pirelli: You know what I say. Whenever you got business trouble the best thing to do is to get a lawyer. Then you got more trouble, but at least you got a lawyer.

Hammer: Wages? Do you want to be wage slaves? Answer me that!
Bellhops: No.
Hammer: No, of course not. But what makes wage slaves? Wages!

Fiorello: What'll I say?
Otis B. Driftwood: Tell them you're not here.
Fiorello: Suppose they don't believe me?
Otis B. Driftwood: They'll believe you when you start talking.

Ronald Kornblow: You know, I think you're the most beautiful woman in the whole world.
Beatrice Rheiner: [eagerly] Do you really?
Ronald Kornblow: No, but I don't mind lying if it'll get me somewheres.

The wit and wisdom of Rocky and Bullwinkle, as it applies to the administration of George W. Bush.

Thanks to the IMDB.


Bullwinkle: You just leave it to my pal Rock. He's the brains of the outfit.
General: And what does that make you?
Bullwinkle: What else? The executive.

Rocky: And now, here's something we hope you'll really like.

The Announcer: Well, you're just in time for what might be a very unhappy ending.

Rocky: And now...
Bullwinkle: Hey, Rocky, watch me pull a rabbit outta my hat.

Rocket J. Squirrel: And now, here to tell you everything about anything is Mr. Know-It-All.

Rocky: Bullwinkle, do you know what an A-Bomb is?
Bullwinkle: Sure, a bomb is what some people call our show.
Rocky: I don't think that's very funny.
Bullwinkle: Neither do they apparently

Dudley Do-Right: Stop, Snidely Whiplash, in the name of the law.

Bullwinkle: I'd like to apply for a job as an usher?
Boris: What experience have you had?
Bullwinkle: I've been in the dark for most of my life.

The wit and wisdom of the X-Files, as it applies to the administration of George W. Bush

Yeah, IMDB.




Scully: I was raised to believe that God has his reasons, however mysterious.
Mulder: He may well have is reasons but he seems to use a lot of psychotics to carry out his job orders.

Mulder: All the nuts roll down to Florida.

Skinner: When you compound the lies, you compound the consequences.
Scully: All lies lead to the truth.

Susanne Modeski: [to The Lone Gunmen] No matter how paranoid you are, you're not paranoid enough.

Scully: I'm afraid that God is speaking and no one is listening.

Scully: I hate to say this Mulder, but I think you just lost your credibility.

Mulder: If coincidences are just coincidences, why do they feel so contrived?

Krycek: Scully's a problem. A much larger problem than you described.
The Cigarette Smoking Man: Every problem has a solution.

Mulder: Fear. It's the oldest tool of power. If you're distracted by the fear of those around you, it keeps you from seeing the actions of those above.

Mulder: You know, they say when you talk to God it's prayers, but when God talks to you it's schizophrenia.

Stonecypher: Have you ever been to a team seminar, Agent Mulder?
Mulder: No, unfortunately around this time of year I usually develop a severe hemorrhoidal condition.

The wit and wisdom of Star Trek, as it applies to the administration of George W. Bush

Thanks to the Internet Movie Database, a great source of information and amusement.

Spock: I fail to comprehend your indignation, sir. I have simply made the logical deduction that you are a liar.

Bones: Spock, I've found that evil usually triumphs... unless good is very, very careful.

Spock: Logic and practical information do not seem to apply here.
McCoy: You admit that?
Spock: To deny the facts would be illogical, doctor.

James T. Kirk: There seems to be no sign of intelligent life anywhere...

The wit and wisdom of Buffy, the Vampire Slayer, as it applies to the administration of George W. Bush

Once again, thanks to IMDB.

Willow: I wish Buffy was here!
Buffy: I'm here!
Willow: I wish I had a million dollars!
[everyone stares ant her]
Willow: Just checking.

[the gang is fighting a troll]
Anya: How can I help?
Willow: Uh, distract him from Buffy. Uh, piss him off.
Anya: I don't know how!
Willow: Anya, I have faith in you. There is no one you cannot piss off.

Spike: I'm insane. What's his excuse?

Buffy: Hey. Look at us. We came up with a plan, a good plan.

Principal Snyder: It's fuzzy-minded liberal thinking like that that gets you eaten.

Buffy: Have I ever let you down?
Giles: Do you want me to answer that, or shall I just glare?

Buffy: Oh look, a bad guy.

Buffy: People to see, demons to kill.

Xander: I don't get your crazy system.
Giles: It's called the alphabet.
Xander: Would ya look at that.

Adam: You failed me.
Spike: Let's not quibble about who failed who.

Xander: I still don't get why we had to come here to get info about a killer snot monster.
Giles: Because it's a killer snot monster from outer space... I did not say that.

[In response to being asked to fight a troll]
Spike: I would, but I'm paralyzed with not caring very much.

Buffy: Giles, are you sure about this?
Giles: Why wouldn't I be?
Buffy: Well, aside from the fact that most magic shop owners in Sunnydale have the life expectancy of a Spinal Tap drummer, have you ever run a store before?

Buffy: I'm rash and impulsive. It's a flaw.

Glory: Did anybody order an apocalypse?

Anya: Anybody else feel that?
Willow: What?
Anya: Cold draft of paralyzing fear?

Xander: He can come along any minute.
Buffy: Yeah, and the minute after that, I can terrify him with my alarming strength and remarkable self-involvement.

Spike: Don't be a stupid git. There is no...
Giles: Spike if I want your opinion I'll... I'll never want your opinion.

Xander: I guess it's time for a little reconnaissance.
Buffy: You mean where we all sculpt and paint and stuff?
Xander: That was the Renaissance.
Buffy: Oh. I told you I've had a bad week.

Buffy: [notices the large pile of books] Is this all research, or just some kind of stress test for the table?

Anya: You know who else aren't American? French people.

Willow: Nervous?
Xander: No way. I'm full of that good ole kamikaze spirit.
Giles: Xander, just because this is never going to work is no need to be negative.

Buffy: Okay, this is beyond evil, this is insane troll logic.

Dawn: Do you know that ancient Sumerians do not speak English?
Buffy: They're worse than the French.

Willow: He said he wasn't coming back until he'd driven to all fifty states.
Buffy: Did you explain about Hawaii?
Willow: Well, he seemed so determined.

Spike: There's always casualties in war, Buffy.
Buffy: Casualties. It just sounds so... casual.

For other posts in this series, see here and here.

The wit and wisdom of Space Ghost, Coast to Coast, as it applies to the administration of George W. Bush

Many thanks to the IMDB

Space Ghost: I could plead the Fifth.
Zorak: If you could count that high.

[After viewing a commercial]
Space Ghost: Finally, a product for me! I believe every word that man just said - because it's exactly what I wanted to hear.

Peter Fonda: I learned that the best way to keep my parents off my back was to act like a grown-up, but I've been eight for fifty-six years.

Space Ghost: I have a giant brain that is able to reduce any complex machine into a simple yes or no answer.

Space Ghost: Bears are crazy. They'll bite your head if you're wearing a steak on it.

Space Ghost: I saw a yard gnome once. It didn't scare me!

Space Ghost: Welcome back, stupid viewers! You'll watch anything! Go ahead, change the channel. You'll be back!

Zorak: Vengeance is the refuge of the weak.

The wit and wisdom of Mystery Science Theater 3000, as it applies to the administration of George W. Bush

With thanks to the Internet Movie Database.

Mike Nelson: I'm sorry, clearly you're not a psychopath.
Tom Servo: That's right! Now get out before my dog orders me to shoot the president!

Dr. Forrester: Oh, hello boobie. Say, do you want to make people's heads explode? Sure, we all do.

Crow: Clowns. Terrifying in any country.

Crow T. Robot: She doesn't have a brain... she'd make a good news anchor.

Crow T. Robot: Oh, stop pretending there's a plot. Don't cheapen yourself further.

Crow T. Robot: Mother Theresa called... She hates you.

Joel: Ambiguity is scary.

Joel: You sound like a manure salesman with a mouthful of samples.

Tom Servo: You have my word of honor that the story I have been telling is the truth... Okay, mixed with a little fiction... Alright, I'm lying my butt off...

Dr. Forrester: I'm the god, I'M THE GOD!


Joel: You know, this has all the continuity of a fever dream.

Tom Servo: Geeze, I hope this works or little Billy will be lunch meat.

Joel: It's a pity we can't kill you and get away with it.

General: Open Fire.
Crow: Kill indiscriminately.

Little Boy: What now?
Tom Servo: Scream, die maybe.

Joel: Action sequences filmed in "Confus-o-vision"

Tom Servo: It's just a simple matter of "What the hell is going on?"
Mike Nelson: Ah. You clever bastard, so the editor is working with you.

Mike Nelson: You know, I'm a little vague on what you are talking about.

Mike Blackwood: There's no reason to fear the worst. All we know is that the plane caught fire and we lost radio contact.
Mike Nelson: But there's absolutely nothing to be worried about.

Tom Servo: I can't believe people call me a psycho, I'm gonna take those people's heads and carve em' into ashtrays.

Joel: Eleanor Roosevelt's PISSED!

Mike Nelson: Apparently the story is none of our business.

[dozens of peasants are fighting to aid Deathstalker]
Crow: We are still fighting bravely for our vague goal.

Crow: I toast your sleaziness.

[singing]
Tom Servo: It's the devil's theme, his stupid little song, even though he's the embodiment of evil he's still got a goofy song, in his tights he brings death, despair, destruction and disease, now let's all join him. Devil.

Crow: Come on Metamucil. Work your magic.

[Starts snowing in movie]
Mike Nelson: This is how much pure cocaine you'd need to enjoy this movie.

Reverend: George wanted to go to the funeral...
Crow: But Baywatch was on.

Crow: Tolkien couldn't follow this plot.

Lisa: It looks like there was a war.
Tom Servo: You'll have to take my word for it, we can't afford to show it.


Tom Servo: The sad thing is, they're trying to tap dance. Hahahaha. Kill me.

Crow: That was an official thing I just did.

Tom Servo: Believe in magic, or I'll kill you.

Teenage boy: Mr. Miller, is something wrong?
Crow: Sit down, pie-face. It's a long list.