A Reasonable Request

All she wants is the Sudetenland. Once that simple, reasonable demand is met, then we will have peace.

If you know the process she wants the Bishop of South Carolina to undergo, then you know it's fundamentally flawed and likely to admit of an unfair and unjust result. It's as though it were designed that way.

And yes, I'm well aware that the Presiding Bishop is no Hitler. Hitler was a much better speaker and dresser, was better looking, possessed great personal charm and was a war hero to boot. The Presiding Bishop wears funny hats and is emblematic of the creeping progressive mediocrity that has consumed the Episcopal Church.

Unkind Theory

I was reading the Anglican Curmudgeon's blog the other day when this thought struck me. One of the catch phrases of the modern Episcopal Church is that you do not need to 'check your brain at the door'. However, very few of the leadership actually seem to be employing their brains for thought. Common sense and logic are typically not welcome

What sort of person wants others to bring their brains but not use them?

The only answer that fits is of course zombies.

Because the only thing

that will defeat hot air is more hot air.

Alabama: An Iliad of Woes

Ale addled legislators and a suds challenged governor have combined to raise the legal limit of alcohol for beer in that formerly idyllic state. Chaos has therefore ensued.

I now have a new favourite website. If you scroll up for more recent posts you will discover that, legally, there is no actual fruit known as a 'crunchberry'.

It Really Is True

One of the jokes made by reasserters is that conversation in the Episcopal Church is them speaking and us listening. I have thought there was some truth to it, like all humour, but what it really was about was some bitterness and a lot of exhaustion.

Then I came across this essay in the Washington Post. The author is a writer and Episcopal priest, rector of a very large church in New York City. His main point is that it's unfair to criticize Obama's former preacher, the Rev. Wright, because we don't know the context. It's all very relativistic and wrong-headed.

But the headline made my pause for a second: "Preaching is an extended conversation". The Rev. Tully liked that phrase so much he used it again five paragraphs down. Preaching can be a lot of things. It can edifying or harmful, exciting or tedious, provocative or soothing. But what it can not be is conversation. Merriam-Webster defines conversation as the "oral exchange of sentiments, observations, opinions, or ideas or an instance of such exchange". Sermons are monologues. Conversations must be at least a dialogue.

Once again, Johnson's third law of Episcopal thermodynamics is proven yet again: "Every joke you make about the Episcopal church eventually becomes true."

Maybe what the Episcopal Church needs more than remedial theological education is remedial English education. Could most of our problems be solved with mandatory vocabulary drills?


{H/T The Reformed Pastor}

A New Saints Day

We here at Billy Ockham have learned of the existence of a new saint. His martyrdom will be commemorated on July 17th beginning on its one year anniversary in 2009, right before the General Convention of 2009 (I certainly hope I got my tenses right).

We look forward to the development of a new collect and in fact a whole liturgy to memorialize the witness of a simple country bishop. July 17th will forever be known in Episcopal church history as the "Feast of the Snubbing of Saint V. Gene Robinson".

We here at Ockham Manor plan to celebrate his martyrdom by grilling out if the weather is nice, otherwise we'll just crack open a beer and maybe watch Top Gear or some sports.

Wrong on so many levels

An Austrian diver hires a company to take him on a 'shark adventure'. The company advertises that they chum the waters and do not use shark cages. Guy gets bitten, Coast Guard is summoned. Guy gets airlifted to a hospital where he dies. I'm sorry the guy is dead, but that pretty much sets the bar for the Darwin Awards right there.

I'd love to know what other adventures the company runs though. Do they have an 'arctic adventure' where the tourists smear themselves with salmon and run naked past the polar bears? Or perhaps a 'jungle adventure' where the tourists jump into the Amazon River accompanied by hunks of beef and try to pet the piranha.

/sarcasm

This Goes Out To All Our Pals At 815 Second Ave.

This post was prompted by this bit of news.

Advent Message

The Archbishop of Canterbury has published his Advent and Christmas messages. The Advent message contains his reflections upon the current crisis in the Anglican Communion as well as a proposed solution. Because his mind is vaster, more profound and wiser than mine, he has come up with a solution that I, for a million years, would never have put forward.

He wants the primates to break up into small groups to discuss the matter. He proposes to supply professional facilitators for this grave task. Apparently small groups are a yet unacknowledged part of our rich Anglican heritage, and all of our problems are caused by an unwillingness to embrace that tradition more fully. We must live into the small group dynamism.

Oh brother!

Addendum: The more I read the ABC, the more I'm convinced Sarah Hey may have been onto something when she wrote: "The alarming clarity with which Rowan Williams speaks here, though, leads me to believe that they interviewed a stand-in -- that, or he needs to be interviewed by young crumb-crunchers more often." Perhaps the reform that's truly required is that all of the assistants, aides and spokespeople in Canterbury need to be replaced by middle schoolers.