Breathe, Balance, and Joy

I'm at my parents' house for the holidays. The change of scenery has been good, especially now when it's hard to not think about what was happening at this time last year. I've been spending lots of time with family and old friends. I've already seen 22 children--cousins' kids, niece and nephews, friends' kids. So many kids!

It's been pouring rain pretty much every day in Southern California, but today the sun is finally out and I took a walk in my parents' backyard. Where Greg and I were married.

This song popped in my head:




Greg used this song when he proposed to me. I haven't listened to it in a while. The lyrics have taken on a different meaning.

So many memories. It's hard to believe it's been a year since he was taken from me.

I do hope he's a peace and not haunting me. I've been at peace myself, overall. No magical thinking for me--at least, not after the first few months.

Here are a few things I'd like to share, ways I've been able to honor Greg this past year.

On what would have been our wedding anniversary, I got a tattoo in his honor:

If you notice the necklace I'm wearing, it was a gift from my friend Rose. It's a necklace in the shape of Iowa, with the geographic coordinates of where Greg is buried.

It was such a touching gift, and I wear the necklace almost every day.

Speaking of touching gifts, my company, Hachette Book Group, who has been so supportive, gave me the gift of a paving stone in Central Park, where Greg and I were engaged, and spent a lot of time together going on walks during the summer he was first getting chemo.

It's on one of the bridges to the reservoir, around 85th Street on the East side. Go see it if you're in Central Park.

As I mentioned in a previous post, I decided to have Greg's ties made into a bereavement quilt. He had a lot of ties! He wore them to teach.

I found Rosie Rhine online, and will say that she does beautiful work:

I'm going to hang it in my new condo. (Did I mention I'm a homeowner now?!)

Right after my closing with my keys!

moving in

Oh, and I ran the NYC marathon! I do still intend to blog about it (I got a little derailed by the election results--more grieving!), but for now, here are a few photos:

Alvina's Team for Greg raised over $26,000 for cancer research! Thank you to all who donated.

Alvina's Team for Greg! Clockwise from left: Kate, Ellen, Kirk, Jackson, Frank, and me.

photo by Mariko Nakatani

(By the way, I'm considering running again next year, so let me know if you're interested in joining my team!)

It's been a challenging, but rewarding, and amazing year. A year filled with lots of tears, and laughter, a few breakdowns, incredible stress, work challenges and triumphs, therapy, new friends, old friends, family, travel, great food and drink, adventure, and love. Despite everything, I do feel that I have a blessed life. I wish Greg were still here to share it with me, but I know he's rooting for me.

When I packed and unpacked, I did unearth many more memories of Greg. He used to leave me notes everywhere. Here is one of my favorites:

My mantras this year were imprinted on my rings. Breathe, Balance, and Joy.

I've ordered three new rings for next year. New year, new mantra.

Wishing you all a happy holiday season, and a peaceful and joyful new year.

So long, 2013. Welcome, 2014!

The view from my parents' backyard deck.
This is also where our wedding ceremony was held.

My two-week+ vacation is coming to an end. I spent it mainly in Southern California at my parents' house. The last time I was there was for Greg and my wedding a year and a half ago. That was also the last time I had seen my family, before the craziness that was 2013 happened. I think the CA sunshine did Greg a lot of good, and he's getting stronger each day. We're settling into our "new normal"--trying to get back to living life, yet with the shadow of the possibility of recurrence hanging over us.

It was wonderfully relaxing to be in CA for so long, and save for the first rainy, cold day, the rest of our time there was greeted with sunshine and 70 and 80-degree days.

My vacation in numbers:

Days I played tennis with my Dad: 11

Sets won: 1 (while playing doubles and partnered with my HS friend who was the star of our championship tennis team)
Children played with: 12
Dogs played with: 2

Me and my brother Ben and future sister-in-law Iris's dog Oreo on Christmas Eve.

Books read: 3.001 (read an ARC of Noggin by John Corey Whaley, re-read Baby Island by Carol Ryrie Brink, re-read final draft of Dreams of Gods & Monsters by Laini Taylor, read the first two chapters of IQ84 by Haruki Murakami)
Good Wife episodes watched: 14 (finished up Season 4, caught up on Season 5 so far)
Movies watched: 1 (Saving Mr. Banks with my mom)
Work emails filed/deleted: 600+ (more to go through today before going back to work tomorrow)
Walks taken: 10
Times jogged: 2
All-you-can-eat sushi meals: 2
Ramen meals: 2
In-n-Out Burger meals: 3
Massages: 3
Karaoke nights: 1
Friends' homes visited: 2
High school friends met up with: 6
Books given as gifts: 27 (mostly children's books)

My brother Felix reading MR. TIGER GOES WILD to my nephew

Different types of fruit eaten: 12 (pomelos, oranges, apples, cherimoya, papaya, guava, kumquat, grapes, strawberries, kiwi, pineapple, watermelon)

Cherimoya. Also known as custard apple, sugar apple, and soursop.

New Year's resolutions made: 12

2013 was a tough year--but here's hoping to a better 2014. Happy New Year, all!

Belated New Year's Resolutions, 2011 edition

Over on the Blue Rose Girls blog, I posted my work-related New Year's resolutions. Every year, for as long as I can remember, I've made New Year's resolutions. And in some cases, they've really helped me change my behavior for the better. For example, one year I resolved to floss more (I think I said at least four nights a week), and now I floss every night. There was my resolution to get out of debt and start saving. And, of course, there's my "no candy" resolution. Basically, I use resolutions as a way to  curb bad behaviors, create better habits, and encourage myself to do fun/different things!

Here are my resolutions for 2011:

-Don't buy any new clothes for myself (excluding accessories and necessities, for example: underwear, socks, jewelry, shoes, etc.)

-Maintain current weight (or lose)

-Save an average of XX a month (I'm keeping the actual amount private)

-Read average of 1.5 published books per month. Read at least three adult books this year.

-Do more cultural activities (shows, concerts, museums)--at least 10 a year

-Eat candy no more than once a month, on average

-Get 4,000 followers on Twitter

-Post on bloomabilities at least once a month (I resolve to do this every year. I'm really going to do it this year!)

-Clean my apt. at least a little bit once a week

-De-clutter and fully set-up the apt (there are still unresolved corners left over from my move in June)

-Go horseback riding

-Dress up for Halloween

-Get my golf game down to 70 for 9 holes (or, at least, to the level where I can actually count my shots accurately!)

-Exercise at least 120 times

-Run at least a half marathon

-Go on at least two long bike rides

-Schedule at least one night a week for unscheduled time (you get what I mean...) 

***

I have a very long wrap-up post about ALA Midwinter here, complete with food pictures!

Happy New Year!

It's hard to believe that another year has come and gone. It's been a good year overall, although one dominated by work--good thing work has been rewarding! But it hasn't been all work and no play. Here are a few highlights from my 2010:

work:
-Grace Lin's Where the Mountain Meets the Moon, won a Newbery Honor
-Peter Brown won the Children's Choice Illustrator of the Year
-The Curious Garden won the E.B. White Read-aloud Award
-Karen Healey's Guardian of the Dead was named a Morris Award finalist
-Where the Mountain Meets the Moon, Shark vs Train, and Children Make Terrible Pets were all NY Times bestsellers
-I attended two ALA conferences, NCTE, and three SCBWI conferences (FL, SC, and NY)
-I was able to promote my assistant, and now have a new editorial assistant
-I hired two fabulous editorial interns who have gone on to great editorial assistant positions
-I was promoted to executive editor

Life:
-I moved to Brooklyn!
-I became the step-mother of two cats
-I took a vacation to the SF Bay Area, and then to Lake Tahoe for a family reunion
-I took a two-week vacation: CA for a week, then CO for another week
-I played golf, tennis, pool, and softball, went bowling, and jogged regularly in Prospect Park
-I biked over 50 miles in the MS Ride, and raised over $1,000
-I sang a ton of Karaoke, learned the harmony to the Jason Mraz/Colbie Caillat song Lucky
-I took a bunch of trips to CT to hang out with the Blue Rose Girls
-I went to the NATWA conference in Toronto with my mother, and we took a train to Montreal to visit friends
-I went to the beach three times and to Disney World once
-I learned how to shuck oysters, and make chocolate fondue, ravioli from scratch, and icing chrysanthemum flowers
-I attended three weddings, four baby showers, two wedding showers, and one bachelorette party
-I saw Lady Gaga and Bob Dylan in concert
-I saw President Obama speak in person
-I saw a bunch of plays and musicals, including West Side Story and Time Stands Still
-I watched too much reality television (Project Runway, Amazing Race, Top Chef), became addicted to Glee, and watched some movies, too (the Stieg Larsson trilogy, Inception, etc.)
-I met, visited, and played with my friends' kids
-I became entrenched in the cult of Apple (iPad, iPhone, iTunes, MacBook)
-I ate a ton of delicious food
-I lived!



Happy New Year, all. May 2011 be the best year ever, a year filled with laughter, joy, peace, growth, and, of course, bloomabilities.