An associate at work today told me a funny story. This is how non-parent attorneys learn about baby care:
The associate was watching her sister's newborn when the baby became really fussy. She called her sister who told her that he might have become unwrapped from his swaddle and, if so, she just needed to re-swaddle him.
She, however, had no idea what a swaddle was or how to do one. Rather than telling her sister this, she turned to the fanastic world wide web. She quickly googled "how to swaddle a baby," read some quick step by step instructions, studied the diagrams, and then practiced on her nephew.
He stopped crying immediately.
When my mom had me, her first baby, she had to call my grandma for advice on how to do EVERYTHING. I wonder how grandmas would feel knowing that society's need for them is becoming obsolete. Or that they are being replaced by the internet- a thing they know absolutely nothing about.
Showing posts with label nothing particular. Show all posts
Showing posts with label nothing particular. Show all posts
Friday, August 1, 2008
Monday, July 28, 2008
Can Your Job Warp Time?
I hate the kind of days when your time at work goes by so slowly. Even during the course of one day, parts of it can drag on forever and other parts can fly by. This morning flew by, but 3:00 to 3:15 seemed like an eternity. Then I looked up and the clock said 4:58!
I think I discovered the proximate cause of the weird time warp phenomenon. There happens to be a causal connection between time slowing down and having to sift through 300+ cases on Westlaw looking for the one that best fits your own case. Reading and skimming through cases is just pure torture sometimes, especially if what you want to find is really obscure. Similarly, trying to fathom how different legal doctrines work when you put them all together is also very time slowing.
Do you have any idea how long it took me to figure out how worker's compensation laws worked with the doctrine of implied indemnity when the parties are two subcontractors that do not have privity of contract?! My head hurt ALL DAY! I still didn't figure it out. The odd thing is that a westlaw search turned up very few Washington cases with the phrase "implied indemnity" in the text. I always think I'm missing something when my search turns up very few cases. Like the time I searched Oregon cases for the Oregon Dead Man's Statute. It took me about 45 minutes to realize that Oregon DIDN'T HAVE a Dead Man's Statute. I felt dumb having to explain that one to my billing supervisor...
Anyway, I can make time speed up just by typing. Seriously, typing up a summary, outline or statement of law makes time go by three times faster. Drafting any type of pleading or motion will do this as well. Also, the excitement of working on a brand new case as well the excitement of starting research on a new topic makes time speed by. But the farther into my research I go and the more frustrated I get, the more time begins to slow down again.
So, if I could just draft motions all day and start new research projects without having to finish them, I would be the happiest person ever. I would probably eat less junk at work too. Because let's face it, when you're bored and time is standing still, the only remedy is a donut, bag of chips or a candy bar.
I think I discovered the proximate cause of the weird time warp phenomenon. There happens to be a causal connection between time slowing down and having to sift through 300+ cases on Westlaw looking for the one that best fits your own case. Reading and skimming through cases is just pure torture sometimes, especially if what you want to find is really obscure. Similarly, trying to fathom how different legal doctrines work when you put them all together is also very time slowing.
Do you have any idea how long it took me to figure out how worker's compensation laws worked with the doctrine of implied indemnity when the parties are two subcontractors that do not have privity of contract?! My head hurt ALL DAY! I still didn't figure it out. The odd thing is that a westlaw search turned up very few Washington cases with the phrase "implied indemnity" in the text. I always think I'm missing something when my search turns up very few cases. Like the time I searched Oregon cases for the Oregon Dead Man's Statute. It took me about 45 minutes to realize that Oregon DIDN'T HAVE a Dead Man's Statute. I felt dumb having to explain that one to my billing supervisor...
Anyway, I can make time speed up just by typing. Seriously, typing up a summary, outline or statement of law makes time go by three times faster. Drafting any type of pleading or motion will do this as well. Also, the excitement of working on a brand new case as well the excitement of starting research on a new topic makes time speed by. But the farther into my research I go and the more frustrated I get, the more time begins to slow down again.
So, if I could just draft motions all day and start new research projects without having to finish them, I would be the happiest person ever. I would probably eat less junk at work too. Because let's face it, when you're bored and time is standing still, the only remedy is a donut, bag of chips or a candy bar.
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Me & My Latte
Coffee is pretty revolting stuff. Straight up black coffee smells, tastes, and looks like it could peel the lining right off your stomach and small intestines. I have absolutely always hated coffee.
Then I went to law school. After too many consecutive mornings where I felt like a card carrying member of the walking dead and too many late nights huddled over my incomprehensable property notes, I became desperate. Desperate enough to plug my nose and chug down a cup of bitterness. I eventually became inventive and started to douse the bitterness with some milk and five packets of sugar. Try a latte? A frappucino? A carmel maciatto? No way. I'm not paying $4 for a drink I can't even pronounce.
I stuck to my tall drip with room (topped off with half a cup of milk and five packets of slenda) for two years. My drink was tolerable, starting to grow on me. My drink was affordable. And I was caffeinated. Mission Accomplished. I even splurged once in a while and ordered a shot of vanilla syrup.
Then one day in June 2008, my "tall drip with room" world was turned crazily on its head. On my way to work, I stopped in at the local coffee stand and asked for a tall drip with room and a shot of vanilla. Hmm, odd. The price came in a little high but I was late for work and didn't stop to check my order. I also noticed that the drink took a little longer to make. Finally they handed me my Cup of Life. I rushed to my office as fast as I could.
About a block away, I finally took a sip. The taste was, surprisingly, amazingly DELICIOUS. This wasn't my normal drink! My receipt revealed that I was drinking a tall vanilla latte. OMG, the milk was deliciously steamed and it mixed wonderfully with the shot of vanilla. There was just the slightest hint of coffee flavor swirling around in the background.
If heaven had a taste, I knew it was staring back at me in my coffee cup.
So this is what I've been missing out on?! From that moment on, I have not been able to go back to my old world of drip coffee. I'm officially addicted to vanilla lattes, irregardless of price and irregardless of calorie content. My morning is just not the same when I skip my latte. And why should I? That would be like eating an oreo without the white frosting filling!
Then I went to law school. After too many consecutive mornings where I felt like a card carrying member of the walking dead and too many late nights huddled over my incomprehensable property notes, I became desperate. Desperate enough to plug my nose and chug down a cup of bitterness. I eventually became inventive and started to douse the bitterness with some milk and five packets of sugar. Try a latte? A frappucino? A carmel maciatto? No way. I'm not paying $4 for a drink I can't even pronounce.
I stuck to my tall drip with room (topped off with half a cup of milk and five packets of slenda) for two years. My drink was tolerable, starting to grow on me. My drink was affordable. And I was caffeinated. Mission Accomplished. I even splurged once in a while and ordered a shot of vanilla syrup.
Then one day in June 2008, my "tall drip with room" world was turned crazily on its head. On my way to work, I stopped in at the local coffee stand and asked for a tall drip with room and a shot of vanilla. Hmm, odd. The price came in a little high but I was late for work and didn't stop to check my order. I also noticed that the drink took a little longer to make. Finally they handed me my Cup of Life. I rushed to my office as fast as I could.
About a block away, I finally took a sip. The taste was, surprisingly, amazingly DELICIOUS. This wasn't my normal drink! My receipt revealed that I was drinking a tall vanilla latte. OMG, the milk was deliciously steamed and it mixed wonderfully with the shot of vanilla. There was just the slightest hint of coffee flavor swirling around in the background.
If heaven had a taste, I knew it was staring back at me in my coffee cup.
So this is what I've been missing out on?! From that moment on, I have not been able to go back to my old world of drip coffee. I'm officially addicted to vanilla lattes, irregardless of price and irregardless of calorie content. My morning is just not the same when I skip my latte. And why should I? That would be like eating an oreo without the white frosting filling!
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Repaying Debts
Literally.
I got my first paycheck last week from my new employer. The biggest single paycheck of my life. I could really get used to this full time employment thing.
Now I can FINALLY pay my bills, credit cards, and library fines. I hate the feeling of owing money. I hate that it looms over me like a big black cloud. Most of all, I hate living paycheck to paycheck while my credit card balance grows fatter. I was spoiled when I was still a dependant and my parent's medical insurance covered EVERYTHING. Ugh. No one tells you about the bills you begin to accumulate as a result of becoming pregnant.
But with my paycheck I was finally able to clear most of my debts (aside from the obvious and enormous law school tuition). Surprisingly, doing so almost feels as good as if I would have bought myself a brand new laptop or some other fun toy.
The past two days I have been getting missed calls from an 800 number. Whomever they were, they called me eight times in a 30 hour time period but never left a message even once. It was driving me insane! Apparently, they were one of the number of businesses or medical care providers that I owed money because after I paid all my bills, the calling stopped.
I feel so much lighter now. It's amazing. I think I'll go out and buy some chocolate. And pay cash for it!
I got my first paycheck last week from my new employer. The biggest single paycheck of my life. I could really get used to this full time employment thing.
Now I can FINALLY pay my bills, credit cards, and library fines. I hate the feeling of owing money. I hate that it looms over me like a big black cloud. Most of all, I hate living paycheck to paycheck while my credit card balance grows fatter. I was spoiled when I was still a dependant and my parent's medical insurance covered EVERYTHING. Ugh. No one tells you about the bills you begin to accumulate as a result of becoming pregnant.
But with my paycheck I was finally able to clear most of my debts (aside from the obvious and enormous law school tuition). Surprisingly, doing so almost feels as good as if I would have bought myself a brand new laptop or some other fun toy.
The past two days I have been getting missed calls from an 800 number. Whomever they were, they called me eight times in a 30 hour time period but never left a message even once. It was driving me insane! Apparently, they were one of the number of businesses or medical care providers that I owed money because after I paid all my bills, the calling stopped.
I feel so much lighter now. It's amazing. I think I'll go out and buy some chocolate. And pay cash for it!
Saturday, June 7, 2008
Small Things I Learned Today
Never eat chex mix you found on the floor. It may look delicious but its probably stale and covered in dust. Don't ask me how I know.
Never walk into a mini mart when you’re hungry. You will end up buying a king size package of Reeses peanut butter cups, a box of cheezits, a package of grated cheese, and bag of skittles.
Never sweat when you’re pregnant. People won’t stop telling you how much you “glow.”
Never marry a man. Men fart. Men are proud of their farts. Like the ability to fart loudly is some coveted skill. Disgusting.
Never walk into a mini mart when you’re hungry. You will end up buying a king size package of Reeses peanut butter cups, a box of cheezits, a package of grated cheese, and bag of skittles.
Never sweat when you’re pregnant. People won’t stop telling you how much you “glow.”
Never marry a man. Men fart. Men are proud of their farts. Like the ability to fart loudly is some coveted skill. Disgusting.
Monday, June 2, 2008
Reading For Fun?! Who Woulda Thought.
The best part of my job is the commute. Ok, it's the exact same commute that I dreaded all semester long, but somehow 2 hours of ferry travel are so much more pleasant when it's a nice summer day and when I can read fun books instead of law books.
I used to be a huge reader. I distinctly remember one time in eigth grade when it was time to switch rooms, I walked down the hall WHILE reading a book. Everyone thought I was such a nerd. Frankly, I don't blame them. No wonder I had no non-imaginary friends. But through the tedium of highschool, the intense required reading of my undergrad days and the unparalelled torure of my first year of law school, "reading for fun" was uncomprehensible. I picked up a number of books for fun but never got halfway through a single one of them.
Somehow, I snapped out of it last summer- thanks to a handful of amazing novels. I managed to finish five books then, lazing in the summer sun after work. I read Kite Runner, Life of Pi, Namesake, Nectar Through a Sieve and a book titled Jasmine. The last three books dealt with the same theme- my favorite reading topic: life in South Asia or the experience of South Asian immigrants, transplants and their children dealing with culture differences in America.
This summer I'm already tackling my reading list. After the first week at my new job I had already finished two books. The first was A Thousand Splendid Suns. It was simply great. A literary masterpiece. I was pretty doubtful going into it because I loved the Kite Runner and didn't think it could be beat. Boy was I wrong. A Thousand Splendid Suns was amazing. I was captivated the whole way through. The end of this book was also more satisfying than the Kite Runner. I was not expecting a happy ending because the entire book, everything was going wrong for the characters. I know that nothing I read this summer will top this book.
My second book was The Beach and it was not that good. I only read it because my husband insisted. He loved it but I found it boring and slow. There were good moments and the author did some interesting things with the writing but it just didn't do it for me. The ending was kind of a let down. I was expecting the plot to lead up to something explosive. But it just trailed off. Plus, the whole video games, drug, backpacking culture wasn't my thing.
I used to be a huge reader. I distinctly remember one time in eigth grade when it was time to switch rooms, I walked down the hall WHILE reading a book. Everyone thought I was such a nerd. Frankly, I don't blame them. No wonder I had no non-imaginary friends. But through the tedium of highschool, the intense required reading of my undergrad days and the unparalelled torure of my first year of law school, "reading for fun" was uncomprehensible. I picked up a number of books for fun but never got halfway through a single one of them.
Somehow, I snapped out of it last summer- thanks to a handful of amazing novels. I managed to finish five books then, lazing in the summer sun after work. I read Kite Runner, Life of Pi, Namesake, Nectar Through a Sieve and a book titled Jasmine. The last three books dealt with the same theme- my favorite reading topic: life in South Asia or the experience of South Asian immigrants, transplants and their children dealing with culture differences in America.
This summer I'm already tackling my reading list. After the first week at my new job I had already finished two books. The first was A Thousand Splendid Suns. It was simply great. A literary masterpiece. I was pretty doubtful going into it because I loved the Kite Runner and didn't think it could be beat. Boy was I wrong. A Thousand Splendid Suns was amazing. I was captivated the whole way through. The end of this book was also more satisfying than the Kite Runner. I was not expecting a happy ending because the entire book, everything was going wrong for the characters. I know that nothing I read this summer will top this book.
My second book was The Beach and it was not that good. I only read it because my husband insisted. He loved it but I found it boring and slow. There were good moments and the author did some interesting things with the writing but it just didn't do it for me. The ending was kind of a let down. I was expecting the plot to lead up to something explosive. But it just trailed off. Plus, the whole video games, drug, backpacking culture wasn't my thing.
Last week I read Jhumpa Lahiri's new book, Unaccustomed Earth. I love her and have been waiting for this book for a long time. She captures human character so well. It's hard to imagine that she is writing fiction because her style is so detailed and exact and yet elegant and simple. She is a beautiful writer. The only bad part is that the book is a collection of short stories. I get so caught up in the characters that it's a little disappointed that their stories end after just 70 pages.
Last week I also read The Firm. I figured it was about time I started to read some of the good legal fiction that's out there. It's a pretty intense book. I hung onto every word of that book and plowed quickly through the chapters. I kept forgetting that I wasn't Mitch McDeere myself that I wasn't in his helplessly doomed situation. This thriller was so engaging, I couldn't put it down. I can't wait to read some more of John Grisham, good thing his work takes up a whole shelf at the book store, I know I wont be bored this summer!
So four books in two weeks. Pretty good considering I only read a total of five last summer. I'm on a roll, I must be making up for all that lost time. All I want to do it get lost into a really good plot and get to know some more interesting characters. I think I'm addicted to reading again.
Friday, May 2, 2008
Boys
I know five pregnant people and two people who had babies in the past two months. All of them had or are having boys. That's seven boys. How can that be? Where are all the girls? This is really odd.
I had a feeling right almost from the beginning that I was having a boy. I don't know what made me think that way, it was just a compeltely unfounded gut feeling. I took the Intelligender test at 10 weeks and it said we were having a boy. I took the results with a grain of salt because the product reviews weren't that great but still...I just knew it was a boy.
The week before our 20 week ultrasound, I started to second guess myself. I was thinking how sweet it would be to have a little girl. Until she beame a teenager and started to hate me, we could do fun girl things together. She would have all her friends over for fun girly sleepovers. But then she would probably be a tomboy like me and I would once again miss out on all the girlie things in life. Oh well.
I was ecstatic when I found out Baby Palmer was a boy though. I really didn't care the gender, I just wanted to know. In my experience, all the first born boys that I know are sensitive, caring, creative and deep thinkers. I wonder if ours will be the same? Now, whenever I go shopping in the baby aisle, I can't help but pass by all the cute pink, ruffly baby girl dresses with longing. They are way too adorable. Oh well, maybe baby two or baby three...
I had a feeling right almost from the beginning that I was having a boy. I don't know what made me think that way, it was just a compeltely unfounded gut feeling. I took the Intelligender test at 10 weeks and it said we were having a boy. I took the results with a grain of salt because the product reviews weren't that great but still...I just knew it was a boy.
The week before our 20 week ultrasound, I started to second guess myself. I was thinking how sweet it would be to have a little girl. Until she beame a teenager and started to hate me, we could do fun girl things together. She would have all her friends over for fun girly sleepovers. But then she would probably be a tomboy like me and I would once again miss out on all the girlie things in life. Oh well.
I was ecstatic when I found out Baby Palmer was a boy though. I really didn't care the gender, I just wanted to know. In my experience, all the first born boys that I know are sensitive, caring, creative and deep thinkers. I wonder if ours will be the same? Now, whenever I go shopping in the baby aisle, I can't help but pass by all the cute pink, ruffly baby girl dresses with longing. They are way too adorable. Oh well, maybe baby two or baby three...
Monday, March 24, 2008
Don't Feed The Bears
Seattle is a yuppy, sophisticated city. In contrast, the county in which I live, which happens to be an hour ferry ride from Seattle, is half Seattle yuppy and half wilderness loving cowboys.
Everytime I drive farther and farther from my home in the city and deeper into the conservative country, I realize just how "special" this county is.
The other day as I was driving down the highway, I saw a sign posted on a woodsy vacant lot. I had to laugh out loud. In my county, I guess it is necessary for people to post "No Hunting" signs on their empty lots...the people who might violate such a demand are probably the same people who tried to get Nascar to build a track in our backyard.
Everytime I drive farther and farther from my home in the city and deeper into the conservative country, I realize just how "special" this county is.
The other day as I was driving down the highway, I saw a sign posted on a woodsy vacant lot. I had to laugh out loud. In my county, I guess it is necessary for people to post "No Hunting" signs on their empty lots...the people who might violate such a demand are probably the same people who tried to get Nascar to build a track in our backyard.
Sunday, March 9, 2008
Dear Obama
Thank you for infusing the young generation of voters (that would be me!) with passion for the electoral process. Thank you for giving me something to vote for this election year besides more death and more taxes. I know what you do must be tough (I mean they don't let just anyone be President- you typically have to be old, white and rich) and I admire your every step. Don't feel bad about those ridiculous accusations against you. If it is any consolation at all, I will always know (even if no one else does) that you didn't plagerize your speeches. You are a great orator and your occusors are just being ridiculous because they are jealous of your campaign for change, your confidence, and your good looks.
I'm so happy that you are here. Without you, I would be packing up my collection of Desperate Housewives episodes, learning hockey & french and moving to Canada at this very minute. I am ready to put this country in your hands. I just know you will win, I knew it from the beginning. I have even pledged on multiple occassions that if you win, I will proudly tatoo your face on my arm...or was it my left butt cheek?
Oh, one more thing? If nothing else, do you think you could make it to my birthday party? I know you're a busy man so I thought I would give you a couple months notice. Did I mention that I'm going to name my child Barack Obama Palmer?
I love you times 100,
Cee
Your Friendly, Passionate, Newly Big-Bossomed, Obsessive Stalker
I'm so happy that you are here. Without you, I would be packing up my collection of Desperate Housewives episodes, learning hockey & french and moving to Canada at this very minute. I am ready to put this country in your hands. I just know you will win, I knew it from the beginning. I have even pledged on multiple occassions that if you win, I will proudly tatoo your face on my arm...or was it my left butt cheek?
Remember when you were asked during the democratice debate if Bill Clinton was the nation's first black President and you said you'd have to investigate his dancing abilities first...that was pure AWESOMENESS. I just thought I should tell you that. Oh and I should also tell you that I fall asleep every night wearing my Obama '08 fleece jacket (despite the heat of my electric blanket) because it makes me feel that much closer to your incredibly good looking body the important issues that you stand for.
Oh, one more thing? If nothing else, do you think you could make it to my birthday party? I know you're a busy man so I thought I would give you a couple months notice. Did I mention that I'm going to name my child Barack Obama Palmer?
I love you times 100,
Cee
Your Friendly, Passionate, Newly Big-Bossomed, Obsessive Stalker
Sunday, March 2, 2008
The Post In Which I Attempt To Justify An Embarrassing New Obsession
Friday night I was husband free. I was also plan free. I was in quite a dilemma. I couldn't for the life of me remember what normal people do on Friday nights. Weekend nights to myself are extremely rare and I didn't want to waste this one. So, I did what was rational and spent about two hours worrying about how to not waste my Friday night alone.
I did what any other red-blooded American would have done, I headed to Blockbuster to rent a bazillion movies.
I walked into Blockbuster, stared at the rows and rows of colorful, perfectly aligned movie shelves. I was in heaven. It's not that I never go to a movie rental store, it's just that I never go to a movie rental store without my husband. Every single chick flick in the history of Hollywood was at my fingertips. I didn't have to worry about my husband not liking what I picked out and forever labeling me as "the bad movie picker" - which I dread as much as contracting some uncurable transmitted disease.
Essentially, I could rent ANY movie I wanted- cheesy romantic comedy, raunchy drama, a completely action-less eye candy film, or one of each- and the only person to judge me was the Blockbuster employee at the check out counter. I perused down all the aisles and a million titles jumped out at me that I had never even noticed during my previous trips with my husband. So many films looked good. Embarrassing as it is, I was in the mood for something with a steamy sex scene...
I got to the end of the "new releases" alphabet with about five movies in my hand, all promising to deliver some hints of romantic or at least steamy sex. That's when I came across the television series section. Nothing looked too great, Dexter (the physco killer? Way too bloody and scary), 24 (heard it was good but not really in the mood), Desperate Housewives (...?...). I had never seen Desperate Housewives but I have always thought poorly of the show for some reason. I thought it was a brainless, soap opera-like drama where the problems of the snobby rich people were on display in order for us "normal" people to feel better about our own lives. I was just about to skip on to the comedy section but then I felt remarkably compelled to see what all the fuss was about.
Feeling totally embarassed, I grabbed disk one of season three (the earliest one they had). The lady at the check out counter took her sweet time entering my movies into her computer, meanwhile I kept scanning the room, soaked in the paranoia that someone would see me walk out the door with Desperate Housewives. Then, in a voice much louder than I would have liked, the check out lady said, "Just to make sure, you know this is Season Three Disk One of Desperate Housewives?" I nodded and turned a deep red. She had just announced my selection to the entire store, great. I felt like I was buying a sex toy or something.
I was still really skeptical when I popped Desperate Housewives into my dvd player at home- but I had back ups films in case it was, in fact, really lame. To my surprise, I thoroughly enjoyed the first episode. It was interesting, entertaining, and not entirely mindless. Ok some of the characters are a little tacky and almost unbelievable, but that made it more fun. I got sucked into the plot and become engrossed with the main characters, one in particular- Lynette. The actress who plays her has won an Emmy for her performance. In the show Lynette is an overachieving, working mother of four children. She is "mom next door" pretty, has a husband who is sometimes like a fifth child, and although she is kind, she doesn't take crap from anyone and will stand up for what she believes is right. I want to be her in 15 years.
I did what any other red-blooded American would have done, I headed to Blockbuster to rent a bazillion movies.
I walked into Blockbuster, stared at the rows and rows of colorful, perfectly aligned movie shelves. I was in heaven. It's not that I never go to a movie rental store, it's just that I never go to a movie rental store without my husband. Every single chick flick in the history of Hollywood was at my fingertips. I didn't have to worry about my husband not liking what I picked out and forever labeling me as "the bad movie picker" - which I dread as much as contracting some uncurable transmitted disease.
Essentially, I could rent ANY movie I wanted- cheesy romantic comedy, raunchy drama, a completely action-less eye candy film, or one of each- and the only person to judge me was the Blockbuster employee at the check out counter. I perused down all the aisles and a million titles jumped out at me that I had never even noticed during my previous trips with my husband. So many films looked good. Embarrassing as it is, I was in the mood for something with a steamy sex scene...
I got to the end of the "new releases" alphabet with about five movies in my hand, all promising to deliver some hints of romantic or at least steamy sex. That's when I came across the television series section. Nothing looked too great, Dexter (the physco killer? Way too bloody and scary), 24 (heard it was good but not really in the mood), Desperate Housewives (...?...). I had never seen Desperate Housewives but I have always thought poorly of the show for some reason. I thought it was a brainless, soap opera-like drama where the problems of the snobby rich people were on display in order for us "normal" people to feel better about our own lives. I was just about to skip on to the comedy section but then I felt remarkably compelled to see what all the fuss was about.
Feeling totally embarassed, I grabbed disk one of season three (the earliest one they had). The lady at the check out counter took her sweet time entering my movies into her computer, meanwhile I kept scanning the room, soaked in the paranoia that someone would see me walk out the door with Desperate Housewives. Then, in a voice much louder than I would have liked, the check out lady said, "Just to make sure, you know this is Season Three Disk One of Desperate Housewives?" I nodded and turned a deep red. She had just announced my selection to the entire store, great. I felt like I was buying a sex toy or something.
I was still really skeptical when I popped Desperate Housewives into my dvd player at home- but I had back ups films in case it was, in fact, really lame. To my surprise, I thoroughly enjoyed the first episode. It was interesting, entertaining, and not entirely mindless. Ok some of the characters are a little tacky and almost unbelievable, but that made it more fun. I got sucked into the plot and become engrossed with the main characters, one in particular- Lynette. The actress who plays her has won an Emmy for her performance. In the show Lynette is an overachieving, working mother of four children. She is "mom next door" pretty, has a husband who is sometimes like a fifth child, and although she is kind, she doesn't take crap from anyone and will stand up for what she believes is right. I want to be her in 15 years.
I felt a little stupid getting caught up in the story line of Teri Hatcher's character. Major soap opera cliche: she's madly in love with her boyfriend who is in a coma. She starts to fall in love with a guy whose wife is also in a coma. But the whole thing was just comical and I think the wrtiers throw that stuff in there in an effort to mock the soap opera genre.
I think what I admire most about the show, other than the colorful characters, is how the show deals with serious issues that are important to all of us but in a way that is both meaningful and comical. The characters face (on an extreme level, of course) betrayal, seduction, sabotage, death, adolescence, family loyalty, illness and friendship. While sometimes the plot comes straight out of a soap opera, at other times it is sincere, witty and downright hilarious.
I've seen ten episodes in the past three evenings and I'm still craving more. If the show's entertainment came in a morphine drip form, I would be hooked up to an IV in a hearbeat (that's saying a lot considering how easily I faint). Clearly, I'm addicted.
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
American Idol. In The Bedroom.
I'm not addicted to TV. I never even watch it unless someone else turns it on, but when it's American Idol season, I'm hooked. I like to watch people perform. And sing. And dance. Andmake fools of themselves. Plus American Idol kind of represents the American dream, anyone can make it, this is the land of opportunities. This is reassuring to me even though I know it's not exactly true, especially in the legal field.
The best part of American Idol is cuddling with my husband on the couch. Second best is laughing at Simon's mean and crazy comments.
Last night Americal Idol permeated our bedroom. After a much overdue bedroom "romp" with my husband (I know, TMI) we started mocking Simon and critisizing each other's "performances."
"It just didn't feel like YOU. You were out of character."
"You were a little pitchy"
"It was just plain boring and awkward."
"I kept waiting to be blown away, but it never happened."
"Best performance of the night!"
Next time I'll have to do the infamous Paula Abdul clap or start off my critique with Randy's favorite, "Ok dawg, check this out. Check this out."
The best part of American Idol is cuddling with my husband on the couch. Second best is laughing at Simon's mean and crazy comments.
Last night Americal Idol permeated our bedroom. After a much overdue bedroom "romp" with my husband (I know, TMI) we started mocking Simon and critisizing each other's "performances."
"It just didn't feel like YOU. You were out of character."
"You were a little pitchy"
"It was just plain boring and awkward."
"I kept waiting to be blown away, but it never happened."
"Best performance of the night!"
Next time I'll have to do the infamous Paula Abdul clap or start off my critique with Randy's favorite, "Ok dawg, check this out. Check this out."
Monday, February 25, 2008
Search Phrases, Just For Fun
I really enjoy when other bloggers post a list of google search phrases that lead readers to their site. It's incredible the crazy things that people go to google for. Google has replaced the need for older brothers and sisters, at least when it comes to looking for answers to that burning, sometimes inappropriate question. I was the oldest in my family so I had to keep my questions to myself. If I only had google back then.
I decided that I finally have enough weird search phrases to make my own list. This is what some of my readers MEANT to find:
"eat my boobs" - what does this even mean
"c boobs in b bra" - um, buy a new bra? Unless you like boobage muffin tops.
"melted barbies" - someone is a pyro femme nazi?
"I have to pee" - do you REALLY need google for this one?
"my husband's white briefs" - phew, at least he doesn't wear a thong.
"baby overdosed today" - you need a visit by Mr. Poison the sticker man and a call from CPS.
"blueberry lentil icecream"- EW
"grazing boobs" - must be a new variety of boob that chews its own cud and eats grass.
By far the most popular google search is "don't even look at me wrong." I wonder if this is a song lyric?
Other readers want to know:
"how quick can you get a bed sore" - shall we conduct a science experiment?
"how many calories in 12 slices of cucumber" - I have some health conscious readers.
"what does it mean when he takes off his wedding ring?" - it means he's cheating on you with a bustier more boobalicious woman, leave him or get plastic surgery.
"what to do if you eat rotten spiders" - why would you eat any spider?
"Do I have plum boobs?" - good question.
"How do you look at someone's boobs while they are sleep?" CREEPY.
I decided that I finally have enough weird search phrases to make my own list. This is what some of my readers MEANT to find:
"eat my boobs" - what does this even mean
"c boobs in b bra" - um, buy a new bra? Unless you like boobage muffin tops.
"melted barbies" - someone is a pyro femme nazi?
"I have to pee" - do you REALLY need google for this one?
"my husband's white briefs" - phew, at least he doesn't wear a thong.
"baby overdosed today" - you need a visit by Mr. Poison the sticker man and a call from CPS.
"blueberry lentil icecream"- EW
"grazing boobs" - must be a new variety of boob that chews its own cud and eats grass.
By far the most popular google search is "don't even look at me wrong." I wonder if this is a song lyric?
Other readers want to know:
"how quick can you get a bed sore" - shall we conduct a science experiment?
"how many calories in 12 slices of cucumber" - I have some health conscious readers.
"what does it mean when he takes off his wedding ring?" - it means he's cheating on you with a bustier more boobalicious woman, leave him or get plastic surgery.
"what to do if you eat rotten spiders" - why would you eat any spider?
"Do I have plum boobs?" - good question.
"How do you look at someone's boobs while they are sleep?" CREEPY.
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Show Your Love With Produce
Since I have night class on Thursdays, my husband and I decided to celebrate valentine's day on Saturday. Apparently the entire world was also out having dinner because the first four restaraunts we went to had 45 minutes wait times. We finally found a place that could seat us immediately (I was starving after a four mile run!). I was craving a burger and fries, but this place only had strange gourmet food. To my surprise, my husband ordered gourmet meatloaf...which turned out not too bad. I ended up settling just on a salad (trip to the grocery store later for real food and frozen yogurt!). I love exploring new restaraunts, to me it's just as good as travelling to new and distant, far off countries-- except I can speak the language and don't have to sit on a plane next to an over friendly passenger who wants to play the game 100 questions, topic: my life.
Even though we weren't planning on celebrating valentine's day on Thursday, my husband surprised me with a "thinking of you" gift. He brought me a bottle of Diet Snapple, a bag of apples, and.... a cucumber.
Yes, this was a little weird but there is some context behind it. For the snapple and the apples, they are just foods that I love. It was pretty thoughtful of him to buy me something that I could really use, he saved me a trip to the store! As far as the cucumber goes (for those of you who need clarification- it was NOT a gift to keep me busy when he goes to bed early. You have clearly been watching too much youtube for even thinking such a thing...), I have been craving cucumbers soaked in wine vinegar this week. In fact, I've eaten a total of four whole cucumbers in just five days.
Ok, so cucumbers are close to the typical pickle pregnancy craving but I still pride myself in being original.
Even though we weren't planning on celebrating valentine's day on Thursday, my husband surprised me with a "thinking of you" gift. He brought me a bottle of Diet Snapple, a bag of apples, and.... a cucumber.
Yes, this was a little weird but there is some context behind it. For the snapple and the apples, they are just foods that I love. It was pretty thoughtful of him to buy me something that I could really use, he saved me a trip to the store! As far as the cucumber goes (for those of you who need clarification- it was NOT a gift to keep me busy when he goes to bed early. You have clearly been watching too much youtube for even thinking such a thing...), I have been craving cucumbers soaked in wine vinegar this week. In fact, I've eaten a total of four whole cucumbers in just five days.
Ok, so cucumbers are close to the typical pickle pregnancy craving but I still pride myself in being original.
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Things I am In Hate With Today
Today, I am finding frustration around every corner, I am declaring myself "in hate" with the following things:
Ebay: Damn you ebay! I really didn't want to spend $37 on the Special Edition DVD of Disney's Beauty and the Beast. I got so caught up in the bidding game that I was determined not to let "blondiehottie" swipe the item away from me in the last hour. Seriously, who does she thinks she is? Can someone named "blondiehottie" really have a legitimate interest in classic Disney cartoons anyway? If I couldn't win the item for $7.50, there is no way I would let "blondiehottie" snatch it away for anything less than her maximum bid! Ebay makes me a bitter person because I hate to lose.
Update: I have been outbid again. The winner of the precious Disney cartoon is paying $43- OMG for a Disney cartoon?!?!
My law school copy machine: We have a brand new law building- it opened a year or two before I enrolled. Everything in the building is immaculate...except for the 15 year old copy machines which take coins ONLY and jam every other page. 5 dollars and 30 minutes later, I had successfully copied a ten page article for class.
Law School Librarian Man: This guy is stupid. Each time the printer jammed I had to ask him to help. Instead of being gracious and allowing me to use (JUST ONCE) the faculty copier a room away, he insisted on playing games with the stubborn machine. He used phrases like "holy guacamole" and "gee-wizz" when the machine kept failing to cooperate. When I complained of having lost $4.50 in this little "adventure" he got all huffy and his face turned as bright at the striped on his shirt. When he walked away from me I heard him say, "oh, for pete's sake!"
My appetite: Sometimes I feel like I'm training for a sumo wrestling match. Before 11 am today I have had: a bowl of high fiber cereal with soy milk, an apple, an avocado-turkey-tomato sandwich, a banana and one fifth of a donut. I'm always super hungry in the morning but thankfully my appetite wears thin by midafternoon so I don't keep chowing down as if I'm about to eat the planet or something. I'm just tired of having to pack so much to eat and lug it around campus. I'm also tired of the weird looks I get as I pull food after food out of my backpack in between classes. One day I'm going to make a 12 inch sub sandwich or whole pizza and pull it out of my backpack in the library.
Raisins: I HATE raisins! Well, I love the way they taste, especially in Raisin Bran and in cinnamon rolls. But whenever I eat them, they make my stomach hurt so badly! My tummy just can't digest them I guess. I find this ironic considering how healthy they are and the fact that I can digest a sugar covered donut just fine...no pain at all (except maybe the pain of guilt).
My bus: I always seem to ride the buses driven by inexperienced bus drivers. As the bus lurches forward and backward between stop lights, and as the bus stalls for the fifth time on one of Seattle's steep hills sending the entire bus backward 10 feet into the car behind us I want to scream from behind the old fat man standing directly in front of me smothering my face, "Did you get your license at Walmart?!"
Other things that I am in hate with right now that do not warrant an entire paragraph include: the hour long ferry ride, the ferry's internet service I paid for that hasn't worked for a month, the fact that Seattle U School of Law never declares "snow days," and the way my cats walk in front of my feet and trip me every morning.
Other than that, life is good and I'm not bitter....I swear!
Ebay: Damn you ebay! I really didn't want to spend $37 on the Special Edition DVD of Disney's Beauty and the Beast. I got so caught up in the bidding game that I was determined not to let "blondiehottie" swipe the item away from me in the last hour. Seriously, who does she thinks she is? Can someone named "blondiehottie" really have a legitimate interest in classic Disney cartoons anyway? If I couldn't win the item for $7.50, there is no way I would let "blondiehottie" snatch it away for anything less than her maximum bid! Ebay makes me a bitter person because I hate to lose.
Update: I have been outbid again. The winner of the precious Disney cartoon is paying $43- OMG for a Disney cartoon?!?!
My law school copy machine: We have a brand new law building- it opened a year or two before I enrolled. Everything in the building is immaculate...except for the 15 year old copy machines which take coins ONLY and jam every other page. 5 dollars and 30 minutes later, I had successfully copied a ten page article for class.
Law School Librarian Man: This guy is stupid. Each time the printer jammed I had to ask him to help. Instead of being gracious and allowing me to use (JUST ONCE) the faculty copier a room away, he insisted on playing games with the stubborn machine. He used phrases like "holy guacamole" and "gee-wizz" when the machine kept failing to cooperate. When I complained of having lost $4.50 in this little "adventure" he got all huffy and his face turned as bright at the striped on his shirt. When he walked away from me I heard him say, "oh, for pete's sake!"
My appetite: Sometimes I feel like I'm training for a sumo wrestling match. Before 11 am today I have had: a bowl of high fiber cereal with soy milk, an apple, an avocado-turkey-tomato sandwich, a banana and one fifth of a donut. I'm always super hungry in the morning but thankfully my appetite wears thin by midafternoon so I don't keep chowing down as if I'm about to eat the planet or something. I'm just tired of having to pack so much to eat and lug it around campus. I'm also tired of the weird looks I get as I pull food after food out of my backpack in between classes. One day I'm going to make a 12 inch sub sandwich or whole pizza and pull it out of my backpack in the library.
Raisins: I HATE raisins! Well, I love the way they taste, especially in Raisin Bran and in cinnamon rolls. But whenever I eat them, they make my stomach hurt so badly! My tummy just can't digest them I guess. I find this ironic considering how healthy they are and the fact that I can digest a sugar covered donut just fine...no pain at all (except maybe the pain of guilt).
My bus: I always seem to ride the buses driven by inexperienced bus drivers. As the bus lurches forward and backward between stop lights, and as the bus stalls for the fifth time on one of Seattle's steep hills sending the entire bus backward 10 feet into the car behind us I want to scream from behind the old fat man standing directly in front of me smothering my face, "Did you get your license at Walmart?!"
Other things that I am in hate with right now that do not warrant an entire paragraph include: the hour long ferry ride, the ferry's internet service I paid for that hasn't worked for a month, the fact that Seattle U School of Law never declares "snow days," and the way my cats walk in front of my feet and trip me every morning.
Other than that, life is good and I'm not bitter....I swear!
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Unique Units of Measurement
Wow, I can't believe my baby is already 1.5 inches long (according to various websources)! For a while it seemed like the baby would never be bigger than a "small crab apple."
Can I just ask- what is it with these crazy pregnancy website that measure the size of unborn babies in relation to fruit, veggies, and legumes?
According to BabyCenter, my baby was first the size of a poppy seed, then a sesame seed, lentil bean, blueberry, kidney bean, grape, then a kumquat (lol, what the hell is a kumquat?!). At eleven weeks, I'm thrilled to know that my baby is the size of a FIG!
Another website, (I-am-pregnant.com) describes a baby's 8-11 week sizes using the following terms: "pinto bean" a "medium green olive" a "small plum" and a "large lime." I especially like the very specific use of words like "medium" and "small" and "large." Because without going to the supermarket and looking at ALL the fruit, I definately could not tell the difference between a medium and a large lime not to mention the difference between a small and medium green olive.
When my baby is 16 years old and someone asks me how tall he/she is, I will say: "He/she is about the size of eleven large watermelons."
Can I just ask- what is it with these crazy pregnancy website that measure the size of unborn babies in relation to fruit, veggies, and legumes?
According to BabyCenter, my baby was first the size of a poppy seed, then a sesame seed, lentil bean, blueberry, kidney bean, grape, then a kumquat (lol, what the hell is a kumquat?!). At eleven weeks, I'm thrilled to know that my baby is the size of a FIG!
Another website, (I-am-pregnant.com) describes a baby's 8-11 week sizes using the following terms: "pinto bean" a "medium green olive" a "small plum" and a "large lime." I especially like the very specific use of words like "medium" and "small" and "large." Because without going to the supermarket and looking at ALL the fruit, I definately could not tell the difference between a medium and a large lime not to mention the difference between a small and medium green olive.
When my baby is 16 years old and someone asks me how tall he/she is, I will say: "He/she is about the size of eleven large watermelons."
Saturday, February 2, 2008
Productive In All Ways But School
Today I managed to be productive- without touching my law school homework. What troubled, demonic soul invented homework anyway? You spend hours at school in class each week, supposedely learning stuff. Who wants to come home and fill their weekends up with more schooling? It doesn't make any sense to me....for lack of better words, it's completely lame!
Today I was in need of a free "me" day. I needed to get out of the house and do stuff that I didn't usually do everyday of the week. I needed to go somewhere and not have an agenda or a schedule. It felt so good and I only felt guilty for neglecting my homework just once.
First I went to Safeway to stock up on "poo-friendly"foods that I am in desperate need of. I bought Fig Newtons, dates, dried apricots, high-fiber cereal, apples, almonds, grapes and 100% juice. I know these wont work, but I have to keep trying or else I will slink into poo-less depression for the next seven months.
Then I went to Michaels craft store and bought material to make a baby shower gift for my sister-in-law. I made the cutest "diaper-wreath." I found the instructions on some website a while ago. Its a wreath made out of diapers with small baby things tied on with ribbon- the cutest baby gift ever!
I also went to a linen store to browse crib bedding for our nursery. I wonder when it's no longer "too-early" to start buying baby things? I'm so eager- but my husband insists it's still "too early." I can't find a good "airplane" theme bedding set anywhere. The ones I have found so far aren't my favorites. I desperately want a new comforter set for our own bed too. Right now we have one that gives me "college dorm room" vibes. I want something mature and "married-ish" that you would expect to find on the bed of a grown up, married couple. It's silly but I feel like I can't properly become a parent with a dorm room bed....I actually found a set I really liked, but man, so expensive. And I already know my husband wont like it, we never agree on things like this.
I went to Safeway....again... to buy some meat and refrigerated items. I was even brave enough to buy an eggplant! I decided to try to make one of my husband's favorite dishes- eggplant parmesian. I got home and started it and realized I was STILL missing ingredients. So Safeway got to see me three times today. Cooking new things is always exciting to me. Actually, I love to cook anything at all- but especially unique dishes that take a little extra time. I like to make everything from scratch too, if I can. I like to make my own bread and sometimes my own yogurt (its so hard though!). I feel so accomplished putting my creations on the dinner table. I sometimes wish I had gone to culinary school :) But that's gotta be a profession in which staying slim is impossible.
Today I was in need of a free "me" day. I needed to get out of the house and do stuff that I didn't usually do everyday of the week. I needed to go somewhere and not have an agenda or a schedule. It felt so good and I only felt guilty for neglecting my homework just once.
First I went to Safeway to stock up on "poo-friendly"foods that I am in desperate need of. I bought Fig Newtons, dates, dried apricots, high-fiber cereal, apples, almonds, grapes and 100% juice. I know these wont work, but I have to keep trying or else I will slink into poo-less depression for the next seven months.
Then I went to Michaels craft store and bought material to make a baby shower gift for my sister-in-law. I made the cutest "diaper-wreath." I found the instructions on some website a while ago. Its a wreath made out of diapers with small baby things tied on with ribbon- the cutest baby gift ever!
I also went to a linen store to browse crib bedding for our nursery. I wonder when it's no longer "too-early" to start buying baby things? I'm so eager- but my husband insists it's still "too early." I can't find a good "airplane" theme bedding set anywhere. The ones I have found so far aren't my favorites. I desperately want a new comforter set for our own bed too. Right now we have one that gives me "college dorm room" vibes. I want something mature and "married-ish" that you would expect to find on the bed of a grown up, married couple. It's silly but I feel like I can't properly become a parent with a dorm room bed....I actually found a set I really liked, but man, so expensive. And I already know my husband wont like it, we never agree on things like this.
I went to Safeway....again... to buy some meat and refrigerated items. I was even brave enough to buy an eggplant! I decided to try to make one of my husband's favorite dishes- eggplant parmesian. I got home and started it and realized I was STILL missing ingredients. So Safeway got to see me three times today. Cooking new things is always exciting to me. Actually, I love to cook anything at all- but especially unique dishes that take a little extra time. I like to make everything from scratch too, if I can. I like to make my own bread and sometimes my own yogurt (its so hard though!). I feel so accomplished putting my creations on the dinner table. I sometimes wish I had gone to culinary school :) But that's gotta be a profession in which staying slim is impossible.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
A Recurring Battle With Subway
The international Subway Franchise operates according to a universal and unwritten rule:
Thou shalt have no more than 5 olives on thy six inch sub.
I love olives (back, not green). I never thought to put them on a sandwich until I saw them among Subway's sandwich condiments. A veggie subway sandwich with olives is one of those little things that makes life so rich and beautiful. For the 2.5 minutes it takes me to devour the sandwich, I am not just content but spellbound, I don't think I'm capable of carrying on a conversation or even retaining any semblance of an intelligent thought.
There is one defect in this blissfull experience, however, and that is that the subway sandwich engineers refuse to put more than five olives on any one six-inch sandwich. This is so frustrating! Why so stingy? I'm not on the Jared diet, and if I was, would a handful of olives really put me over the edge of the calorie count? Would it kill them to have a little generosity with their condiments?? SERIOUSLY. How much money are they saving from skimping on ten or fifteen extra olives?
This has bothered me so much that I started to request "extra olives." Upon hearing this request, the sandwich engineer will faithfully sprinkle a whopping total of SEVEN olives on my sandwich. At first I thought it was a fluke or that they didn't hear me. But then this happened every time I requested extra olives and at different Subway franchises too. I just gave up. You know, I would be willing to pay an extra 50 cents if they would simply put a generous serving of olives on my sandwich. But I have such a hard time communicating to Subway what a normal serving of olives should be that I feel like explaining "generous portion" would be a hopeless task.
Next time I go to Subway, I'm freaking bringing my own sandwich bag of olives. (I'm also considering organizing a mass picket outside my local subway location, but the logistics aren't fully formed yet).
Thou shalt have no more than 5 olives on thy six inch sub.
I love olives (back, not green). I never thought to put them on a sandwich until I saw them among Subway's sandwich condiments. A veggie subway sandwich with olives is one of those little things that makes life so rich and beautiful. For the 2.5 minutes it takes me to devour the sandwich, I am not just content but spellbound, I don't think I'm capable of carrying on a conversation or even retaining any semblance of an intelligent thought.
There is one defect in this blissfull experience, however, and that is that the subway sandwich engineers refuse to put more than five olives on any one six-inch sandwich. This is so frustrating! Why so stingy? I'm not on the Jared diet, and if I was, would a handful of olives really put me over the edge of the calorie count? Would it kill them to have a little generosity with their condiments?? SERIOUSLY. How much money are they saving from skimping on ten or fifteen extra olives?
This has bothered me so much that I started to request "extra olives." Upon hearing this request, the sandwich engineer will faithfully sprinkle a whopping total of SEVEN olives on my sandwich. At first I thought it was a fluke or that they didn't hear me. But then this happened every time I requested extra olives and at different Subway franchises too. I just gave up. You know, I would be willing to pay an extra 50 cents if they would simply put a generous serving of olives on my sandwich. But I have such a hard time communicating to Subway what a normal serving of olives should be that I feel like explaining "generous portion" would be a hopeless task.
Next time I go to Subway, I'm freaking bringing my own sandwich bag of olives. (I'm also considering organizing a mass picket outside my local subway location, but the logistics aren't fully formed yet).
Saturday, January 5, 2008
Success is Relative
Sometimes I question my goals in life. I worked hard throughout highschool and undergraduate school. After that I worked hard to get into a good law school. Most of my life has been full of "go-go-go," deadlines and stress. There is no doubt that I worked so hard because I wanted to be successful.
But now I'm not sure. What do I really think success is? Do I really want to work my butt off just to land a high paying 60+ hours a week legal job? Once I get the job, I will just be working even harder. Am I even competative with other law students seeking the same job?
I'm starting to realize how fast life has gone by so far. It will just go by faster. I don't want to waste it doing something that gives me an ulcer in exchange for reputation, status and a fancy paycheck. No, I think I'd prefer to savor each year, spending my life doing something that really makes me happy. I guess a fancy, high paying job could end up being fun and enjoyable, but I wont kill myself to get one. Maybe I'm cut out for being a mom first, then pursuing a career later in my life (my Husband might faint if he reads this).
But now I'm not sure. What do I really think success is? Do I really want to work my butt off just to land a high paying 60+ hours a week legal job? Once I get the job, I will just be working even harder. Am I even competative with other law students seeking the same job?
I'm starting to realize how fast life has gone by so far. It will just go by faster. I don't want to waste it doing something that gives me an ulcer in exchange for reputation, status and a fancy paycheck. No, I think I'd prefer to savor each year, spending my life doing something that really makes me happy. I guess a fancy, high paying job could end up being fun and enjoyable, but I wont kill myself to get one. Maybe I'm cut out for being a mom first, then pursuing a career later in my life (my Husband might faint if he reads this).
Friday, December 7, 2007
Coffee Please, With Room For Sass
My plan to block my cats' access to the toilet backfired on me this morning. First of all, I don't know why they insist on drinking out of the toilet-- are they protesting the tupperware I use for their water dish that currently contains five day old water and bloated sunken cat food?
So I made a specific attemp to close the bathroom door behind me. Too bad I forgot to unlock it first. I rummaged through all the drawers in the kitchen but I couldn't find anything the right size to unlock the door! At first it wasn't a big deal. I mean how badly did I really need that shower? There are worse things than three day old hair. For example: smelling like Old Spice all day long because my own deoderant was temporarily unaccessible. I sat back down and resumed studying for finals (stalking people on facebook).
Two hours and three cans of Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper later....I needed to do something about that door, and QUICK! I packed my bags and drove ten minutes to the nearest Starbucks.
Me: "can I get the key to your restroom?"
Barrista: "sorry, for customers only"
WHAT?! I wanted to threaten to pee all over the floor but I just couldn't do it. So with my legs violently crossed I ordered a cookie (I couldn't order a liquid and watch them pour it into a cup).
It's really hard to count change when you are bouncing up and down.
Long story short, I got my cookie and I was granted access to the restroom. After squeezing into the only available table which was behind a group of loud soccer moms wearing leggings and oversized sweatshirts, I got cracking on my books. My reading was only interrupted one last time by a barrista desperate screams to her co-workers, "We're out of coffee jerkoffs! Go back and get some or I'll have your asses fired! JERK. OFFS!"
So I made a specific attemp to close the bathroom door behind me. Too bad I forgot to unlock it first. I rummaged through all the drawers in the kitchen but I couldn't find anything the right size to unlock the door! At first it wasn't a big deal. I mean how badly did I really need that shower? There are worse things than three day old hair. For example: smelling like Old Spice all day long because my own deoderant was temporarily unaccessible. I sat back down and resumed studying for finals (stalking people on facebook).
Two hours and three cans of Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper later....I needed to do something about that door, and QUICK! I packed my bags and drove ten minutes to the nearest Starbucks.
Me: "can I get the key to your restroom?"
Barrista: "sorry, for customers only"
WHAT?! I wanted to threaten to pee all over the floor but I just couldn't do it. So with my legs violently crossed I ordered a cookie (I couldn't order a liquid and watch them pour it into a cup).
It's really hard to count change when you are bouncing up and down.
Long story short, I got my cookie and I was granted access to the restroom. After squeezing into the only available table which was behind a group of loud soccer moms wearing leggings and oversized sweatshirts, I got cracking on my books. My reading was only interrupted one last time by a barrista desperate screams to her co-workers, "We're out of coffee jerkoffs! Go back and get some or I'll have your asses fired! JERK. OFFS!"
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