Getaways And Guilt

This past weekend we went up to Canada and got our maple leaf on! We were there to visit my husband's friends, drink, and engage in ridiculous behavior so we left Jacob with more responsible people (my parents).

The more I visit Canada, the more I like it. I don't know what it is? Maybe the fact that I can go to a Casino and not get carded (19 years is drinking age). It makes me feel so grown up. Or it could be that they have an amazingly good dessert called Nanaimo bars. It's like german chocolate cake meets pudding meets a chocolate bar! On the way home we stopped at a grocery store and I bought their entire stock.

The only problem with going to Canada is that it's like a four hour trip one way from where we live. Oh and we have to deal with the ridiculousness of crossing the border. We felt the love entering Canada. But entering the US was another story. There was an hour wait to get across!

I feel guilty whenever we go on a weekend excursion without the Child. I mean, I rarely see him during the week because of commuting, school and study time. The weekend is our only time to hang out as a family. So when we dump him somewhere and go do our own thing, I feel like a horrible parent.

PLUS, I totally miss him! During the trip, my husband and I kept making comments like, "Jacob would like this" or "This week it was so cute when Jacob did this." And then there is the amazing divide between us and our friends. We are parents and everyone else just has dogs. When friends ask how Jacob is doing, I always wonder how much they really want me to go on about his fourth tooth or his latest arsenal of new words. I'm so self conscious about how much I should talk about him. I don't want to be the annoying friend who ONLY talks about her kid.

It's funny how similar chats about pets and children can be.

"My puppy is crazy sometimes. He keeps us up at night and chews all our furniture."
"Yeah, our kid does that."
"He always begs and gets under my feet all the time."
"That sounds like our baby."
"I can't leave him alone for a second- he'll destroy our house."
"Gee, I know how THAT feels!"
"I can't wait to get that dog house broken."
"We're counting the days until Jacob is potty trained."
"At least I can just put him in his kennel and throw him some dog treats when he's out of control."
"Thank goodness for the kennel and the dog treats!"

Then our friends whip out their digital camera full of pictures of their dogs doing nothing and I feel better. You can't be too annoying when you don't even keep pictures of your son in your wallet.

You Will NOT Find Me At The Mall Today

Maybe I'm just disgusted by my law school debt but this year I am SO anti-commercial. Black friday totally disgusts me. Just thinking of the selfish shoppers, the long-ass lines, and the rush to "buy, buy buy." Yuk. Really? This is what our society looks forward to and celebrates on the holdiays? GROSS!

Is there really anything I need so much that I am going to get up at 3am and wait in lines outside the shopping centers? Seriously, what can you want THAT badly. I'll admit. I like getting new things. Wearing new clothes for the first time, opening a package of something I ordered in the mail- no bigger thrill. But I guess I've just been spending too much on me this year and I'm now experiencing an internal backlash from all the boots I bought (yes, I DID need three pairs, thankyouverymuch!).

I'm not against the concept of shopping. Actually, I used to have a lot of fun shopping with my family in preparation for Christmas. But it's the fact that shopping has become the FOCUS of our holidays, that disgusts me. Sure, there's the turkey, but oh THE SHOPPING! THE DEALS! Really, why do we even do gifts? YOu don't have to give gifts to be generous or to show someone how you feel about them. Nowadays, it seems like time is a more valuable commodity than money. We never have enough time. Wouldn't it be better to spend TIME with the people we care about rather than MONEY? To actually go visit and have a chat with Aunt Marmalade rather than send her some dish towels in the mail?

I'm not against spending money, or shopping or presents-I actually love all three. I like capitalism. But I just feel so disgusted by the excess. The commercialism. The general focus on shopping. The need to buy another, better bigger screen TV because, for heaven's sake, living with JUST a 36 incher is akin to living in poverty! I don't mean to be a bah-humbug. It's just lately I've been wanting to get back to the basics of enjoying the holidays. Wanting more than what I can just buy at the mall. Looking for a little something more.

Court, Or Bust!

First of all, court went GREAT! During our 2L year we had to give an oral argument on our appellate briefs. That was my first experience with oral arguments and I was a wreck. I was nervous all semester. We had to give the argument in a classroom at the school and the judge was another professor and I thought I would die. And I was so nervous, I pronounced my last name wrong during introductions.

For some reason I wasn't nervous abou this oral argument at all. This time we actually had to go down to the superior court and argue in front of a REAL superior court judge. I waltzed my way through the day- putting my argument outline together last minute. Enjoying an extra long lunchbreak. on the bus ride to the court house, instead of anxiously reciting my argument to myself, I popped in my headphones and got lost in Billy Currington. I was so freakishly calm, which I though might have been to my detriment- aren't we supposed to get nervous for a reason? Aren't we supposed to scare ourselved into being better prepared? Oh well.

The thing is, this summer I got to go to a hearing on a motion for attorneys fees. I wrote the repsonse and the associate invited me to tag along to hear him reciting my arguments. The associate was so "cool" about going to court. He was even working on another case up until the time he had to leave for court. To him, it was no big deal. He went to court many, many times. I think watching him and tagging along made me realize- court isn't scary. The merits of our argument will go up against the merits of the other side and may the best party win.

So back to the other day, sitting in the marble hallway outside the courtroom, my nerves finally started to impersonate mexican jumping beans. I felt the way I used to feel before a big cross country race. Adrenaline shot through my body. But I just forced myself to relax and convined myself that I knew my shit- even if that wasn't true.

I was the moving party so, lucky me, I got to go first. I just went through the arguments like I had practiced. It is important to start out strong and to end strong. You have to tell the judge right away what relief you want. (Don't forget to reserve rebuttal time!) And the last words out of your mouth should be a statement of the relief requested.

The judge only asked me one question. I wanted him to ask me more so I wouldn't have to give a monologue argument about why I should win. But maybe it was better this way. I have no idea what I said in response. I kind of blacked out and my inner lawyer demon possessed me and put words in my mouth. But I must have done ok because I got props from my professor, who was acting as bailiff. I wish I knew what I said. The 9 minutes went by in a blur. This left me only 1 minute for rebuttal when I had originally wanted 2 minutes. You can imagine how fast I talked during my 1 minute rebuttal.

All in all, the professor said that we both did really well. Apparently I need to work on speaking more slowly (hello! how can you do that when you only have 10 minutes to argue a fact specific case?!) and make better eye contact with the judge. But I survived! One final exam down, three to go!

Who would have thought, shy widdle me thinks court is fun! I can't believe how far I've come since my 1L year, or even my 2L year. It's amazing how much you learn and change during lawschool. Let this be hope to all those 1L who think they won't make it and will never seem like a lawyer- if it can happen to me, it CAN happen to you!

Blame It On The Rain

I'm off to Superior Court today to argue a fake motion for a pretend case for my Pre-Trial Advocacy class. The scary part is the judge, the court room and the grades are real.

Why can't we wear jeans to court? It would make my life so much easier and HELLO why isn't the entire justice system focused on making my life easier.

I have a feeling going to court in Seattle is a little trickier than going to court in other hoods, ahem, I mean geographical locations. I generally love Seattle. And I generally love rain. BUT going to court in Seattle is just no fun. Even if the prediction is clear skies, you STILL have to prepare for the likely probability that it will rain. Because, get real. It's Seattle. Rainy season is September to July.

Why is rain so horrible? Rain = messed up hair, drenched suit, soaking wet breif case and motion papers.

So, not only do I have to lug around a huge umbrella. I have to bring a raincoat. Extra shoes- suited for walking in the rain. Money for the bus so I DON'T have to walk in the rain. And my hair straightener to remedy the fuzz of a humid-infested environment. Do you even know how un-hot your hair is when it is half dry and half wet?

Oh yeah, I have to prepare the SUBSTANCE of my argument as well. Almost forgot about that.

P.S.- If I have to dress up to go to court, why can't I at least wear a fun accessory like a tie? It's not fair- why don't girls get to wear ties? I'd wear one with flames.

Professor [Sexual Fantasy] Evaluations

Please evaluate your sexual fanatsies about this instructor by answering "Excellent", "Good," "Satisfactory," "Fair," or "Poor" to the following questions:

In your fantasies:
1. Does the instructor speak clearly and understandably [in bed]?
Excellent. [His point ALWAYS comes across...if you know what I mean.]
2. Is the professor well prepared and organized [in bed]?
Excellent. [Always has a game plan and always scores the winning point.]
3. Does the instructor incorporate new and current material to the subject?
Satisfactory. [Good use of "material," especially the vibrating variety.]
4. Does the instructor appear to have an adequate grasp of the subject?
Excellent. [No further comment necessary.]
5. Does the instructor cover course material [your body] in adequate depth?
Excellent. [Where no man has gone before!]
6. Does he stimulate thought [you]?
Excellent. [I'm stimulated speechless!]
7. Does the instructor make the subject [it] interesting?
Excellent. [If your definition of interesting involves office hours, strategic placement of casebooks, and spectacles.]
8. Does he make good use of examples and hypotheticals?
Excellent. [You know what they say, "Don't fight the hypo desire."]

What suggestions would you make to this instructor?
MARRY ME!

Horsing Around

I'm doing a ton of things lately. My weekly schedules are jammed packed! And somehow studying does not make my list of weekly activities. Oh well. If law school was a road, I would be a car that has spun out into the ditch. Smoking engine, blown out tires AND unconscious driver- the whole thing. But I'd be a HAPPY unconscious driver. Because instead of freaking out about finals and being a responsible student, I am doing things that make me happy!

Like riding horses. Exhibit A:



This is Jackson, the beautiful horse that I get to ride once a week (soon to be twice a week!). I LOVE riding. It takes so much focus, coordination and communication (with the horse of course) that I can pretty much escape the rest of my life. I thought riding would be 100% thrill. Like boating or going on a carnival ride. I thought I could just hop onto a saddle and ride away into the sunset. But actually, it's really challenging and takes a lot of skill and patience. Some days it's 70% frustration and 30% whatever else. But it's ALWAYS fun. Basically it's what gets me through the week, knowing I have a lesson at the end of it.

I was never one of those "horse" people. You know, the kids who wore screen print horse sweatshirts to school. The ones who collected My Little Ponies and watched Black Beauty a million times. In fact, I was never much of an animal person. I always prefered playing with babies to animals. But now I have a new appreciation and admiration for horses. They really are amazing animals. I can't believe how strong they are. And so stubborn. But I think that's why we get along, I have an affinity for stubborn things and I have a stubborn streak myself.

Damn it. I have to take back what I said about not being one of those "horse" people. I just remembered that, this afternoon, I ordered a sweatshirt from the stables. It has a screen print picture of a horse on the back AND my name on the front. Shhh, don't tell anyone...

P.S. The best part about riding is that I have an excuse to wear my cowboy boots in public. Then I like to make a trip to the grocery store on my way home and leave a trail of dried horse poo behind me. When people make a comment about my boots I get to say, "Oh, I just came back from the stables."

The Cost Of Legal Education

I met with a lawschool financial aid advisor the other day. She gave me the grand total price tag for my legal education. Are you ready for this? You should sit down. Really. My total debt for law school is $119,000.00. And I think I might be on the lower end of the scale because I only paid for one year of rent rather than three (thank you husband for paying the mortgage). AND I don't have any undergraduate debt- thanks to scholarships and the Bank of Dad.

It totally amazes me how much it costs to attend law school. I think education is the greatest equalizer when it comes to socio-economic issues. But how can it be an effective equalizer if only the rich can afford it? Sure, there are a bunch of great public schools. But because of our tax-financed public school system, the good public schools are in the rich neighborhoods. And public colleges aren't even affordable anymore.

Anyway, in addition to owing 120K to financial institutions for my legal education. I now owe Barbri (the bar exam prep people) my soul. Talk about life kicking you when you are down. I just signed away a huge chunk of my paycheck for the next 20 years to pay back my tuition loans and now They want to send me through the ringer one more time. It's like "Are you SURE you don't have some assets or trust fund money stashed away somewhere? Come on now- GIVE IT UP! How about pennies under your bed. I'll settle for your lunch money." The bar exam itself is about $600. Then you have to fork over enough to cover hotel and meal expenses for three days during the bar. But the bar exam prep course is what kills me. The month long course costs $2,700! Plus $500 extra to take advantage of the mobile option (I'm not commuting 5+ hours a day, five days a week to actually SIT IN on the course).

My whole financial outlook is bleak right now. And all of this just to be qualified for a job in which I will be earning less than my engineer brother with an undergrad education? Ridiculous. To make this bleakness a little darker, let's consider all the things I could have bought INSTEAD of my legal education:

• Boob jobs for twelve people
• One Diet Dr. Pepper every day for the next 329 years
• A cozy four bedroom home in Gorst, Washington (with 20K to spare!)
• Two Hummer H2 SUVs
• 9,230 trips up the Space Needle
• Half of a fast food restaurant franchise
• 1/10th of a head of Brittany Spear's hair
• The adoption of 3-12 children
• A necklace once owned by Elvis Presley (sold on juliensauctions.com)
• Clothing and accessories for Sara Palin during the campaign
• 30 average sized engagement rings (about $4000 each)
• I could charter a five room luxury yacht for a week

How is that for perspective?