TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOURSELF

When you enter a relationship, or even just are born into a family, you have a responsibility to care for yourself as well as the people you care about. Yep, that is one of the more important things in any relationship… don’t scare the you-know-what out of those people who love you if you can do ANYTHING to avoid it.

 

Illness happens, and so do accidents, but when you ignore common sense or act recklessly you are literally betraying the trust that the person(s) who love you have. We are not possessions but when hearts are involved there is a very fragile surface that easily bruises. If you have ever worried about a loved one recovering from severe illness or sat in a hospital waiting room until a surgery is (successfully) completed, I am sure you understand what I mean.

 

While there are never any real guarantees, things like proper nutrition, avoidance of illicit drugs and excessive alcohol, not smoking, getting sufficient rest, and not taking unnecessary risks while driving or other activities, will help to minimize the chances of your loved one(s) pain and tears because of you. As I already said, sometimes illness does happen — well then follow doctor’s orders and keep things under control, or even better, get cured. And while there are other drivers on the road and sometimes no matter how careful you are there’s a bump or worse, so wear your seatbelt, make sure your car is road-ready, and stay attentive. Always cut the risk down.

 

Worrying about someone can also play havoc with your own health, but it is hard NOT to worry when someone you love is hurt or ill. Learn ways to relax and not to “worry yourself sick” — yeah, that is a real thing. Learn to focus on the things in front of you, things that you can manage and not let your imagination go places it should not. Being so stressed over things you can’t control will only be made worse by not taking proper care of yourself like forgetting to eat properly, not getting enough sleep, or using crutches like alcohol or drugs. Practice slow deep breathing to help relax your body and your muscles; if necessary, literally “go to a happy place” in your mind, imagine being on that beach or mountain top where you once felt so at peace.

 

Taking care of yourself when you are worried about someone else is also a responsibility, prevent yourself from getting sick. When your heart feels like it is beating too fast for your own body, your palms feel sweaty, or you begin crying without warning, then perhaps you are suffering from anxiety. In addition to meditation and deep breathing, you can try taking a walk or working out in the gym. Aromatherapy scents such as lavender, chamomile, and sandalwood have been thought to help the mind’s receptors and help to ease some of that anxiety. Writing your thoughts down can also help, looking at the thoughts that are making you anxious might help you realize what is real and what is only imagined, or exaggerated, and may even help you make a plan that will help you feel calmer.

 

If your anxiety seems out of control and if you really feel paralyzed, unable to function anywhere near normal, or even start contemplating dying, speaking to a licensed therapist would probably help. Don’t allow yourself to drown in panic, guilt, or fear. A professional can help you identify triggers, help you to learn calming methods, or perhaps prescribing anti-anxiety meds, could help. If you need help, get help and take care of yourself.

 

Bone Tired Weariness

 When the days just seem to run into one another and sleep eludes you at night, every action is just... so... tiring.

When I know I have so many things to do, it's hard to turn my mind off and enjoy that much needed sleep. The next day, everything just d r a g s. Getting anything really accomplished the next day seems almost, if not totally, impossible.

How do YOU deal with a sleepless night? Do you imagine lying on a beach with toes in the sand and the warm sun shining on your face? Or maybe you are one of those who will pretend to be riding in a slow, topless elevator and watching the top of the elevator shaft grow smaller and smaller. Maybe calming music will help you to drift off...

Or perhaps you check the clock after forcing yourself to lie still for most of the night only to find it's a mere eight minutes since you looked last.

As you go through the next day feeling so, so drained and you spy that young child who can just curl himself up and drift into slumber and you feel such incredible envy — and you can't avoid those feelings of guilt over that envy of an innocent child.

We need to find ways to turn off our minds so that we can be rested when sunlight comes again. Rested, productive, feeling accomplished, being positive... such lofty goals.

Instead of dwelling on all of the things you need to get done TOMORROW, think of what you accomplished today. Make a plan and then store it away so your body can have time to recharge. Whether you pray or simply "talk to yourself", express your gratitude for everything good in your life and congratulate yourself for making yesterday doable and productive.

Try spending a few quiet moments to meditate  before actually crawling under the bedtime blankets, think positive thoughts and remind yourself of the things you DID accomplish (and not just how much more you need to get done). Close your eyes and find a "Happy Place" where you can picture yourself stretching out and relaxing.

And when you wake in the morning and find that you aren't really dragging... well that is just one more accomplishment to think about when you turn off your mind.

Have a GREAT Day!

Life Happens ~ #MondayBlogs

At some point in everyone’s life there is at least one something stressful… and if it is only one you are indeed the exception. Money, health, sex, news reports, children, family illness or worse death, incessant weather conditions, household maintenance, traffic accidents, career, and on-and-on. Stress producers seem to assail us at every opportunity which is ot to say that we have only negative things happening, there is also joy, satisfaction, feel good days, hugs and the feeling of accomplishment. It is a genuine crisis whenever something literally upsets the apple-cart, but it is how we cope and move on that makes us different.

Unhealthy coping mechanisms make some people turn food, alcohol, drugs or reckless behavior. The temporary fix we can achieve by getting high may be very effective in allowing us to take our minds off of what ails us and may even allow us the time to catch our breath and get a different perspective, one that is easier to live with — in the end though many of these unhealthy coping mechanisms leave us with added complications. The stress finds a way to repeat, even if slightly different and the more frayed our nerves are, the more we toss and turn rather than sleep, the more we eat until we feel bloated, the less we feel capable of dealing with the stress and the faster we succumb. Stress can cause body aches and illness, it can destroy relationships, it can distract us while driving, confuse us when we try to work and embarrass us when we can’t control our tears. Stress can raise our blood pressure making us more susceptible to heart attacks and strokes. Simply put, stress STINKS.

We can’t eliminate stress from our lives. How can we find ways to control the damage stress can cause? And how can we cope and move on relatively normally when it seems arrows are being shot at us from every angle?

Begin every day with a personal pep talk in the bathroom mirror telling yourself how capable you are, how good you look, how much you can accomplish and that you like yourself. If you find yourself getting angry or feeling like you want to cry, get in the habit of “stopping” by counting to ten or reciting a favorite jingle. Spend some “me-time” every day doing something that is pleasurable and healthy like taking a walk, putting music on and dancing in your living room, doing arts and crafts, singing in the shower, writing short stories, but do something for a few minutes every day that is just for you. Daily meditation will help calm your nerves, focus on important things and learn to ignore annoyances; sit in a quiet, comfortable corner and breathe slowly and deeply; close your eyes and imagine a peaceful setting (like water gently lapping at the sands of beach).

Focus on the positive things around you, think about the things you still have even after a loss, and try to see that even unexpected changes in your life (such as losing a job) can lead to better things. Eat healthy foods that your body can actually utilize, foods that are high in nutrients, proteins and have healthy levels of carbs and fats will help keep your body’s chemistry more even. Get enough rest, you will feel better able to face things when you feel refreshed. Pamper yourself a bit, even simple everyday grooming will help to lift your spirits. Daily exercise will activate healthy endomorphins in your body; endomorphins affect the central nervous system and help to ease the body’s perception of pain and fatigue. Don’t naturally assume that the worst will happen, while it may be a real possibility, there is always the chance that a medical test, for example, may uncover a condition that can be treated and cured — my mother used to say “Don’t borrow trouble.”

Remember, don’t take life too seriously…
no one ever gets out alive.

...

Time to reflect - #MondayBlogs

This past weekend was Yom Kippur, the Jewish Day of Atonement is a day set aside to "afflict the soul," to atone for the sins of the past year. These "sins" are between the individual and G-d, a time to repent and sincerely make an effort to do better; if there are transgressions against your fellow man, you are expected to make your peace with that individual.

As children we always thought this holiday was the day we received our get-out-of-jail-free card.

I spent the day in a lot of self-reflection. Whether it is religious obligation, court-ordered (can they do that?), a suggestions from a friend, or simply common-sense, spending a day looking at yourself and your actions, meditating about your life, is a healthy and calming thing to do. Your actions do not have to be action-verbs like running, driving, talking, etc., they also include your thoughts and emotions.

Are you spending your day being angry at someone who has done you wrong? Are you dwelling in the past or filled with regrets about what you didn't get to do or say? Are you wasting your life with crippling thoughts about things that can't be undone, or obsessed with people who bring nothing positive to your world? Are you allowing anger to consume you and destroy your happiness?

When you meditate and inspect your own being, you give yourself a chance to resolve issues, find your strengths, realize your potential. and look ahead to the future. Spend some time concentrating on yourself, sorting out what your priorities are, and learning how to be happy. Whatever term you use, count your blessings, the positives, the "things" you have (not just material) that make you feel rich. Don't waste time plotting revenge on those that have hurt you or being envious of the things someone else has - instead get to know yourself.

During the days between Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur, Jews believe the Book of Life is opened and our fate for the coming year is inscribed; this gives great inspiration to sincerely atone for our transgressions and promise to be better.

There is no need to wait for once a year though, we can make daily efforts to be better people, to be more considerate of our fellow man, and more truthful, Just one act of kindness can improve someone's life, a random smile can bring happiness, an hour of selfless time can make someone feel important, a compassionate ear may be salvation for someone who feels lost and desperate.

At the end of the day you can take stock in your contribution to the world - and that can make your day.

May you all have a healthy peaceful and fulfilling year.