I Waited Long Enough to Be An Adult! ~ #MondayBlogs

There are obviously people who believe they can dictate what appropriate ages are for women to stop doing certain things! Popular talk show “The Talk” hosts discussed one such list the other day commenting that, according to the author, women should not be on FaceBook, take selfies, wear skinny jeans, etc., by specific ages. One published list by U.K.’s Daily Mail columnist William Hanson includes texting, having long hair, wearing leggings, using hair products, being in a bikini, visiting a nightclub and staying out past midnight.

While I admit there are some women who should never wear a bikini (I readily admit to being one of those), how is there an “age” where it is or is not permitted? Oh, excuse me, Mr. Hanson states that doing some of these activities past specific ages “becomes embarrassing”. Personally my feeling — who the heck is Mr. Hanson to tell me what I can or cannot do at my age? I think he’s a bit stuffy and dictatorial.

Yes, we should all use common sense, look at ourselves in a mirror (honestly) and perhaps ask a trusted friend how we look but if a woman has a nicely toned bod, why shouldn’t she wear skinny jeans if she feels comfortable in them? As for using FaceBook, the most common age demographic is 25 to 34 (about 29%) for both male and female, but there are more than six-hundred-thousand LIKES on the Woman After 50 FaceBook page.

Posting a selfie now and then provides an opportunity for some to make a statement about themselves, kind of this is who I am. Posting a selfie showing us doing something we are proud of like a sport, a charitable event, with friends, or showing kindness to our pets, can help give us an ego boost similar to patting our own backs. Is there an age where we are no longer entitled or in need of boosting our self-value. And texting, so long as it is not done incessantly and certainly not while driving, is a quick and harmless form of communication in a very busy world.

Surprisingly not all of these “Do not do, do not wear, do not have fun” articles are written by men or I would have automatically assumed there was some of that controlling misogamy going on, although maybe there is… you know the kind of people who rate women as a 2, 6, or 10. And there are even a FEW articles limiting what a man of a certain age should not be allowed to do, however the ones I read deal more with behavior than with appearance (hmmm, a bit of double standard?).

I figure at my age I really am not as worried about what others think of me; I worry what I think of me. In my 60s my priorities are my family, my pets, my home, my career, myself and most importantly enjoying every day that I wake up breathing. On FaceBook, yes I am guilty of participating in social media, there are several humorous memes saying things like Act how you want and blame it on a senior moment. Amusing but still a valid piece of advice.

I did find a few NICE lists telling us what women shouldn’t do after specific ages, one such article is The 3 Things Middle-Aged Women Need To Stop Doing When Speaking In Public and includes the following advice: 1. Stop apologizing for your lack of technological skills or social media skills; 2. Stop apologizing for the way you look; and 3. Stop comparing your place in your path to someone else’s place on their path. Another positive article 24 Things Women Over 30 Should Wear offers one repeated and welcome piece of advice in response to that question: Whatever the f#*% they want.

In my opinion I’ve been doing that ADULT thing for a while now, I am entitled to LIVE even if it might be embarrassing to the critical Mr. Hanson.

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We’re Making History ~ #MondayBlogs

No matter who you plan to vote for in this presidential election, there is no denying the monumental achievement that we Americans have experienced. This is the first time in American history that a woman has been nominated by a MAJOR party and the first time that there is a significant possibility that a woman could be elected as our country’s leader.

It needs to be noted that two women have been major party Vice-Presidential Nominees, Geraldine Ferraro in 1984 and Sarah Palin in 2008; neither was elected to office.

There have been other women who have run (unsuccessfully) for president on Independent and Third-party lines, or have not won the final Major Party nod: Victoria Woodhull ran in 1872 and again in 1892; Belva Lockwood ran in 1884 and 1888; Laura Clay ran in 1920; comedian Grace Allen got write-in votes in 1940; Margaret Chase Smith was considered for nomination by the Republican party in 1964 but did not win the nomination; Charlene Mitchell was the first African-American woman nominated in 1968.

1972 was a busy year with Shirley Chisholm, Patsy Takemoto Mink (first Asian American woman), and Bella Abzug as potential Democratic nominees in 1972; Linda Osteen Jenness and Evelyn Reed also ran as a third-party candidates in 1972; Ellen McCormack ran in 1976 (potential Democratic nominee) and in 1980 for a third-party; Margaret Wright in 1976; Deidre Griswold and Maureen Smith in 1980; Sonia Johnson and Gavrielle Holmes in 1984; Isabelle Masters ran in 1984, 1992, 1996, 2000, and 2004; and Lenora Fulani in 1988 and in the New Hampshire Democratic primary in 1992.

We’ve come a long, long way…

When I was married in 1975 I was not given a choice what last name I would be using, it was an automatic practice that a woman adopt her husband’s last name (I am very proud to be Mrs. “E”). I was pleasantly astounded when my daughter, in 2007, was filling out the paperwork for her marriage license and I noticed all of the options; women now can retain their own last names, combine with their husband’s, or take the husband’s name as I did — and the husband has similar options including taking his wife’s surname.

I also remember that I had a credit card prior to my marriage; after being married I requested a card for my new husband. The card was promptly cancelled and I called to ask why; the reason I was given was that a married woman had to have the card under her husband’s credit and permission (there were no standards against credit gender-discrimination at that time).

Other real differences that have happened in the past decades include the firing of pregnant women (as happened to a relative of mine in the early 70s), no such thing as paternity leave, and the right to refuse a female access to certain jobs. There are still more advancements to be made but it is a very different world since my own young adult years.

There are currently 26 countries with female heads-of-state and others who have had women in charge in recent years. This is the closest that the United States of America has come to having a woman leading our country. While your vote this November and the outcome should be based on merit and capability, this very significant milestone should be celebrated by all as to how far we have come.

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Without a Voice

After catching a bad upper respiratory infection (aka the common cold) I developed a severe case of laryngitis. This is not the scratchy throat and sound like a frog kind of affliction, this is total loss of voice – I cannot even grunt! I’ve been like this since last Sunday and while my husband is pretty much overjoyed, my doctor says I need to rest my larynx. Believe it or not even whispering puts a strain on the voicebox I have been unable to speak for the better part of a week and it’s been very frustrating.


An almost full week of silence got me thinking of women who are denied the opportunity to voice themselves. Some of the female characters I’ve included in my books have been denied the right to speak for themselves for one reason or another. In Bartlett’s Rule Paige was denied the right to say “No” when an ex-boyfriend viciously attacked her; In A Chaunce of Riches Samantha was blackmailed into silence about who she really loved; and in Hyphema Seudah was raised a Muslim Pakistani woman in a place where some women are still forced to hide behind veils and are not allowed to talk for fear of offending the men.


Although the things I’ve been able to do have been seriously curtailed without having a voice, I’ve been lucky to have friends and family who have been patient and willing to interpret hand signals, read hastily scribbled notes and crane to listen to a few whispered words. My silence has lasted a week and I have reasonable expectation of once again being able to talk for myself, hopefully soon. But what of those women who live lifetimes without the ability to say what is on their minds, to voice their feelings, to be heard and be allowed to matter.


This past week has given me a mere glimpse into their frustration. It is difficult to tell folks your needs when you can’t speak. In the United States the 19th amendment to the U.S. Constitution was signed, recognizing women's right to vote on August 26, 1920. There has been progress worldwide over the right of women to have voices about family, religion, politics and health. But there are still lands and social situations where women are not afforded the right to have a say. This is a subject that should concerns us all; when human rights are denied to any person(s) it is an affront to us all.


Read up on women’s issues at these sites:

http://www.now.org/ National Organization for Women (NOW)

http://www.un.org/womenwatch/ Womenwatch: A United Nations project

http://www.wedo.org/ Women's Environment and Development Organization

http://www.hrw.org/home Human Rights Watch