"From this moment forward, as in days past"

I've read five books so far this (new) decade and I've been pretty pleased with them all.

These include:

• Being Mortal: Medicine and What Matters in the End (Atul Gawande)
• The Great Believers (Rebecca Makkai)
• A Wild and Precious Life: A Memoir (Edie Windsor)
• The Testaments (Margaret Atwood)
• Blowout (Rachel Maddow). 

Today, I want to talk about Windsor's memoir, primarily because I cried about a million times during it, but also because parts of it were pretty hilarious. Also, if the name sounds familiar, Edie is the Windsor from the US Supreme Court case United States v. Windsor, which overturned part of the anti-equality Defense of Marriage Act.

In the book, Windsor recounts a lot of anecdotes about her life as a young lesbian in the pre-Stonewall era, like the following from circa 1950, about being attracted to a woman named Renee and somehow "intuiting" that Renee felt the same way during their flirty tennis matches, where they had a habit of  repeatedly and "accidentally" bumping into each other on the court.

"...[O]ne afternoon when Renee knocked me particularly hard on the elbow and flashed her customary apologetic-yet-flirty grin, I leaned in and said under my breath, 'Do that again, and I'll kiss you on the mouth.'

She looked a little startled and a little shocked, but after class, she came up to me and asked, 'Did you mean it?'

'Yes,' I said, feeling impossibly bold.

'Where can we do that?'"

Windsor then proceeded to clock two Women's Army Corp vets as being a couple and immediately began renting apartment space from them from her hookups with Renee.

Circa 1950! 

Anyway, after 40+ years of being together, Windsor was finally able to legally marry her partner Thea Spyer in Canada in 2007, when Spyer had advanced multiple sclerosis. During their ceremony, their vows included the lines, "With this ring, I thee wed.... from this moment forward, as in days past," acknowledging that they had spent virtually a lifetime together before their relationship and commitment were acknowledgement by a government (even if not their own, yet).

Spyer died in 2009, and shortly thereafter Windsor was hospitalized for stress cardiomyopathy, or what is sometimes called "broken heart syndrome."  Windsor later became more active in the LGBT rights movement and eventually passed away in 2017. I'm glad she lived long enough to experience the win in US v. Windsor, which was a highlight in her life, as it was for so many of us, as well.

Semi-Review/Deep Thought: The Miseducation of Cameron Post

I recently read The Miseducation of Cameron Post (and then proceeded to watch the movie adaptation, as well), about a lesbian teen sent to "conversion therapy" in the 1990s for being gay. Think of it as a more realistic, less campy, but still at times darkly-comedic version of But I'm a Cheerleader.

It was a very good read (and movie) and I identified pretty closely to the main character Cameron and, specifically, her inherent resistance to being indoctrinated by anti-gay bigotry, even as it permeated her environment.

As a teen, I felt pretty strongly that I didn't have a huge problem with myself being gay; rather, the main problem was that it seemed like everyone else had such a huge fucking problem with it. I realize that's not a universal experience for all lesbian/gay/bi/queer people and, maybe not even all that common, even now, but that was my personal experience with it. I knew I was gay at a very young age and really made no serious attempts to thwart it.

Anyway, as I wrote on Twitter recently, something I think about in the context of how relatively quickly LGBT progress has happened in the US, on some issues, is that, for some of us in Gen X, LGBT social and legal progress has likely outpaced how quickly our trauma from coming of age in a deeply homobigoted society has healed.

For instance, as more and more states ban "conversion therapy," it is a pretty mainstream opinion in the US that the practice is immoral and abusive. That wasn't really the case in the 1990s.  And now, in a post-marriage-equality US, even some of the most prominent opponents of marriage equality will do things like publicly acknowledge that divorce rate are currently at historic lows, without concurrently referencing or acknowledging their previous fear-mongering around same-sex marriage and the Imminent and Total Destruction of Marriage and Society!

While a pre-marriage-equality narrative was that Fred Phelps was perhaps the last homobigot left in the US, or that the only way a person could be one is if they went around saying "faggot," now a lot of people simply act like, "Sure, there were bigots back then, but I certainly wasn't one of them."

Look, I get it. The US mainstream is, historically speaking, bad at apologies for social injustice. A lot of people, once they lose a culture war, just want people to move on without having their noses rubbed in the loss. Or, you know, they continue to pathetically cling to their Confederate flags and racist mascots.

Many cishet people simply don't seem willing to acknowledge, much less apologize or atone for, their past complicity in LGBT bigotry, even if that bigotry did tangible harm to people in their lives.
 Now that acceptance of LGBT people is more mainstream, compared to 20-30 years ago, it's like they conveniently act like bigotry was a thing "other people" engaged in "back then," rather than something they believed and that probably all people (still) have to some extent.*

I suspect that many LGBT people have friends and family members who were previously pretty openly anti-LGBT who have quietly come to the other side and are now accepting.

The opinion change is not a bad thing. I want to be clear about that. We always wanted people to change!

The issue is more that there's probably many LGBT people of a certain age who are still walking around with residual trauma from bigotry and "conversion therapy" that happened in our lifetimes, years ago, inflicted upon us by people who now see themselves as allies, and there's a certain level of pain in that that I think a lot of people are holding onto because a lot of harm was simply never directly addressed.


*And, to be clear, the LGBT rights struggle is not over and explicit bigotry, particularly facing trans individuals, still exists. I also believe our gains are at risk of being rolled back, due to the current composition of the US Supreme Court, Congress, and Executive branch, if not all at once, at least on a piecemeal basis.

The Queerest Night on Television

Is now Sunday.

With Batwoman and Supergirl airing on the CW, and now The L Word: Generation Q and Work in Progress airing on Showtime, queer women have quite the selection of TV shows featuring Strong Female Characters all on one day (although, yes, with the reality of how many people watch TV, on demand any day, any time we want via Hulu or wherever you enjoy your pop culture streams).

First, the CW series. I've enjoyed Batwoman so far, primarily because it's meaningful to view a show centered around a lesbian superhero. At the same time, while I don't find fault with Ruby Rose, I don't think Batwoman, as a character, has been written particularly strongly as she, at least in contrast to villain Alice, seems relatively passive.

She's already been captured numerous times and often seems completely dependent on her sidekick, Luke, and her (or, er, her cousin's) gadgets to get her out of jams.  What I want to know is, what unique personality traits and skillsets does she - Kate Kane - bring to the table that makes her strong and worthy of being a superhero?

On another note, Chicago is used very well as a stand-in for Gotham City. The use of the Chicago Board of Trade Building, with its Ceres-could-be-Batwoman-looming-over-the-city figure at the top of the skyscraper, is clever.

On the Supergirl front, I continue to enjoy the show and its embrace of the gay Alex Danvers and trans Dreamer. I don't have a great, pressing need for Supergirl and Lena Luthor to end up together, as some SuperCorps shippers desperately want. And, especially with Lena's latest betrayal, their relationship has been dishonest in ways that I think would be hard to overcome. Even the way Supergirl talks about Lena to her friends mirrors the way people in abusive relationships continually make excuses for their abusive partners. That being said, the show drops a lot of Supercorps subtext for viewers to read into.

Regarding Showtime, I'll start with The L Word, whose Generation Q reboot piloted this past Sunday. First, whew, quite an opener there. Hello queer sex scenes, how I've missed thee. (What? CW is very PG-13 in that regard.)

Secondly, it was great to see previous characters Alice, Bette, and Shane again. I've re-watched The L Word series, erm, multiple times, so it's frankly just nice to see them engaging in new plotlines and dialogue. In addition, the new characters include at least one trans main character, the Asian-American Micah, and multiple women of color.

Then, in the grand tradition of The L Word tackling current political events, the pilot that aired this past Sunday included a #MeToo plotline with Bette and references to the opioid crisis. The #MeToo plot revolved around the past behavior of Bette, who is running for mayor of Los Angeles, and specifically how she is being publicly called out for having sex with a previous subordinate employee.

Her friends, Alice and Shane, sort of convinced her that the charges of impropriety were not legitimate and were based on the fact that she's a lesbian, but sorry gals, I disagree.  Because I remember Bette Porter and the Bette Porter I remember should probably never run for political office. (See above, regarding my multiple re-watches of the series).

In six seasons of the original series, we saw a pattern of unethical sexual behavior on Bette's part, including an affair with both a student and a professor while she was dean of an art school, an affair with a contractor she hired, and multiple instances of her cheating on a partner.  Yes, it's true that men often get away with far worse and still get to keep their jobs and political ambitions, but that reality doesn't mean that women should also be able to get away with it as well. Feminists and progressives lose credibility on the matter of sexual harassment when we don't hold each other to the same standards we try to hold conservatives to, and I wouldn't be okay with a male politician with multiple instances of sexual impropriety that included sex with a student and subordinate in his past.

And finally, Work in Progress is a delight so far, and reminds me of Tig Notaro's brilliant One Mississippi in its authenticity and use of comedy to explore dark themes, in this case mental illness, bullying, and suicide ideation. Also, the characters in this show look and act like the queer people I know in real life, and that's a very rare thing.

Relatedly, the way that the main character Abby, has thus far interacted with her love interest, Chris - who is a trans man - seems true to how some middle-aged lesbians would act, messy flaws and all. Her intentions seem good, but she engages in some impropriety in their initial interactions, including not apologizing upon misgendering Chris (even as she complains to Chris about being misgendered her entire life) and outing Chris as trans to her group of lesbian friends. It's not far enough along in the series to know whether and how these issues will be addressed (as learning moments for Abby and some audience members?). But, hopefully Chris will serve as more than a vehicle for Abby's personal growth and salvation (and Abby will show some interest in Chris' story rather than just vice versa).

In any event, I find the series compelling, relatable, and want to see what happens.

CNN LGBTQ Townhall

I didn't catch all of last night's CNN LGBTQ Townhall, but I wanted to post about it nonetheless.

First, I want to note that the forum itself was meaningful. It was only in 2008 that, following 8 years of the Bush Administration stoking anti-LGBTQ bigotry for Republican political gain, that frontrunner Democratic presidential candidates Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton did not publicly support marriage equality because that political position was not (or was not seen as) political viable for a presidential candidate to hold.

And yes, many LGBTQ people understood that both Obama and Clinton likely supported marriage equality privately and would be supportive once in office. History has proven that to be the case.

To have a slate of Democratic candidates affirming their support of LGBTQ issues in 2019, of which marriage equality is just one of many, is progress in and of itself.

Participating candidates included (in their order of appearance): Cory Booker,  Joe Biden, Pete Buttigieg, Elizabeth Warren, Kamala Harris, Beto O'Rourke, Amy Klobuchar, Julian Castro, and Tom Steyer. Per CNN, Bernie Sanders had originally accepted an invite to participate, but eventually declined due to his recent heart attack.

As far as the content itself, Biden had a couple weird moments and continues to appear confused and easily-rattled when speaking, as in the first debates, including a clip where he stumbles and starts talking about how when he "came out."

Sorry whut? https://t.co/OV08JR0ALa

— Spooky Fannie Werewolfe 🌈 (@fanniesroom) October 11, 2019

I thought Booker, Buttigieg, Warren, Harris, O'Rourke, Klobuchar, and Castro did well, overall (and I refuse to discuss Steyer and his vanity campaign) and any of them (including Biden) would be better than the Trump/Pence shitshow on LGBTQ rights.

In a way, it always feels weird to analyze these debates and townhalls on a super granular level. The networks and foreign agents want Americans to get sucked into infighting about endless candidate dramas even though, meanwhile, to quote comedian John Mulaney, THERE'S A HORSE LOOSE IN THE HOSPITAL.

That's not to say the details don't matter. They do. And those analyses should happen, and the discussions about LGBTQ issues should be driven by LGBTQ advocates, not bad actors on social media or the usual cishet pundits who dominate our national political conversations.

From a big picture standpoint, the 2020 Democratic Primary is going to have to be about finding that balance between pushing our candidates to be the best they can be on the issues, while never losing sight of the fact that profoundly dangerous men are currently in charge of our Executive Branch, Supreme Court, and Senate.

In conclusion, I've watched this clip approximately 57 time and I get approximately 12% more gay every time:

How would I respond to someone who says marriage is between one man and one woman? #EqualityTownHall pic.twitter.com/8uNXqXI5n7

— Elizabeth Warren (@ewarren) October 11, 2019

Talk about this, or whatever, it's Friday!

Alex Danvers Appreciation Friday

So, look. I know I fell behind on the Supergirl recaps.

Mostly, I've had life stuff going on. But also, I lost a little bit of interest in Season 3, for whatever reason. I've picked up watching the show again and am almost finished with Season 4, but by now it seems like a lot of work to start the recaps again from where I last left off.

Woe is me.

Here are my thoughts, in lieu of recaps:

• I like both actors, but the romance between Lena Luthor and James seems forced. The two just don't have great chemistry, certainly not as good of chemistry as Kara and Lena have when they actually have scenes together. (Disclaimer: every character would be in some way queer if I wrote for this show, even - no, especially - the villains).

• Sometimes, the villains in CW DC-verse are hokey, heavy-handed, and uninteresting. And look, I get it, maybe the shows are geared toward younger viewers. But, Agent Liberty as a villain isn't working for me. It's supposed to be a metaphor for today's political climate of white nationalism and anti-immigrant sentiment, but in the show, Agent Liberty is sort of presented as having somewhat valid reasons for being scared of "the aliens." That is, the aliens are typically are more powerful than humans and so Agent Liberty's fear is not portrayed as entirely irrational. This is a marked contrast to today's political climate of irrational xenophobia toward immigrants, refugees, and migrants.As a viewer, I don't want to be invited to "view the other side as rational and having a point," via metaphor, when in reality Donald Trump and his white supremacist supporters are deeply dangerous.

• Nia Nal has been a great addition, as has Brainy's upgrade to main cast.

• The show has never been great at portrayals of Black women, in my opinion. Colonel Haley has potential, but so far the show's creators have written her as a villainous Angry Black Woman.

• I miss Cat Grant.

• I will watch all the crossovers. Especially plotlines involving Sara Lance and Alex Danvers (and/or Kate Kane). 

• Mon-El was fine as a character, and I'd love to see Alex Danvers have a girlfriend again, but I still maintain that the show is at its best when it remembers that the heart of the show is the relationship between Alex and Kara. So, putting that relationship in peril is always a good plot device, in my book. 

• I know it seems like I'm mostly complaining about the show, and maybe I am. So here's something: Alex Danvers keeps getting gayer and gayer with every episode and I could not be happier about that. Now, let her have connections to the LGBT community and make Kara Danvers bisexual, you cowards!

Yes, please!

It's Happening!

Showtime has released a teaser for The L Word: Generation Q: 

Some quick observations:

• The L Word last aired 10 years ago and all the original actors look the same as they did then.
• Bette is running for mayor of LA and this is 100% not surprising.
• Shane still seems up to the usual Shane-anigans.
• I can't help it, I'm so excited for this!
• Oh my god:

she's not dead

— Mia Kirshner (@msmiakirshner) August 12, 2019

Anneward Scissorhands

If you've ever wondered the things I think about when I'm not thinking about politics:

I just had a random, weird, brief vision of an Edward Scissorhands reboot with Anne Lister as the lead and I can't stop thinking about it. pic.twitter.com/NCUAGxb9Ta

— Fannie Wolfe 🌈 (@fanniesroom) August 12, 2019

 [Text: "I just had a random, weird, brief vision of an Edward Scissorhands reboot with Anne Lister as the lead and I can't stop thinking about it."]

I think this crossover might even be better than the I idea had to reboot Scrooged with Anna Kendrick as the lead.

Insert jokes about scissors, as appropriate, here. And, FWIW, they're all appropriate.

Gentleman Jack Recap: Season One Finale ("Are You Still Talking?")

Over at Shakesville, my recap of the Gentleman Jack Season One Finale is up!

Here's a quick preview:

Gentleman Jack Recap: Season 1, Episode 7 ("Why've You Brought That?)

Season 1 of Gentleman Jack is almost over!  Over at Shakesville, I have recapped the penultimate episode!

Check it out.

Gentleman Jack Recap: Season, Episode 6 ("Do Ladies Do That?")

Check out my latest Gentleman Jack recap, Season 1, Episode 6, over at Shakesville.

The first season is coming to a close, sadly. How will it end for the Anns?

Gentleman Jack Recap: Season 1, Episode 5 ("Let's Have Another Look At Your Past Perfect")

Over at Shakesville, I continue my recapping of the TV show Gentleman Jack. For those not familiar:

Gentleman Jack is an eight-episode drama series from BAFTA-winning writer Sally Wainwright (To Walk Invisible, Happy Valley).

Set in 1832 West Yorkshire, England, Gentleman Jack is inspired by the true-story and coded journals of Anne Lister (played by Suranne Jones), and follows her attempt to revitalize her inherited home, Shibden Hall. Most notably for the time period, a part of Lister's plan is to help the fate of her own family by taking a wife.

The series is on HBO and runs Monday nights at 10 PM. (Note: Recaps will include spoilers for that episode.)

Check it out!

Quote of the Day - Hannah Gadsby

Los Angeles Times ran an interview with comedian Hannah Gadsby about her new show, "Douglas." I recommend the entire thing, but it's especially worth it for her take on Louis CK:

You establish the comic tone early in “Douglas,” saying you quit comedy the same way Louis C.K. said he was sorry.

He is a joke now. And I think it’s important to keep making that joke. This is dangerous to talk about, but I’ll give it a go. What the issue is, for a long time Louis C.K.’s comedy platform was that he was this hopeless guy bumbling through the world. And at some stage, he was no longer that, but that was still his voice. And I think he still believes that. He has not reassessed his position of power, and that is why he was able to abuse it. It’s difficult to see a shift in your own power and privilege. It’s not something we’re trained to do. He still honestly thinks he’s the victim in all of this.

That comes through clearly when he’s performing. There’s a real anger there now in his delivery.

He’s saying the same kinds of things. The material hasn’t changed. He’s just angry and bitter. I always struggled with his work because I’m a visual thinker. And there’s just so much semen. So I literally couldn’t see the humor in this waterfall of body fluids. That’s my issue. I never blamed him for that.

But then I think, “Gosh. That’s on his mind a lot too.” The guy clearly had an issue. And that’s sad for him. So why are we trusting a man who has a compulsion like that where it diminishes the humanity of people around him? Why do we care what he thinks about the human condition? He needs to worry about his own condition a bit. Just sit quietly.

Yup.

Gentleman Jack Recap: Season 1, Episode 4 ("Most Women Are Dull and Stupid")

Over at Shakesville, I continue my recapping of the TV show Gentleman Jack. For those not familiar:

Gentleman Jack is an eight-episode drama series from BAFTA-winning writer Sally Wainwright (To Walk Invisible, Happy Valley).

Set in 1832 West Yorkshire, England, Gentleman Jack is inspired by the true-story and coded journals of Anne Lister (played by Suranne Jones), and follows her attempt to revitalize her inherited home, Shibden Hall. Most notably for the time period, a part of Lister's plan is to help the fate of her own family by taking a wife.

The series is on HBO and runs Monday nights at 10 PM. (Note: Recaps will include spoilers for that episode.)

Go read it!

Gentleman Jack Recap: Season 1, Episode 3 ("Oh Is That What You Call It"?)

Over at Shakesville, I continue my recapping of the TV show Gentleman Jack. For those not familiar:

Gentleman Jack is an eight-episode drama series from BAFTA-winning writer Sally Wainwright (To Walk Invisible, Happy Valley).

Set in 1832 West Yorkshire, England, Gentleman Jack is inspired by the true-story and coded journals of Anne Lister (played by Suranne Jones), and follows her attempt to revitalize her inherited home, Shibden Hall. Most notably for the time period, a part of Lister's plan is to help the fate of her own family by taking a wife.

The series is on HBO and runs Monday nights at 10 PM. (Note: Recaps will include spoilers for that episode.)

Go check it out!

Gentleman Jack Recap: Season 1, Episode 2 ("I Just Went There To Study Anatomy")

The Gentleman Jack recapping fun continues with Episode Two, over at Shakesville.

Check it out!

Well, I Thought It Was Funny Anyway

Game of Thrones has ended, and here's my alt-ending for Brienne:

Brienne, adding her name: pic.twitter.com/Tg1ZU4rMY0

— Fannie Wolfe 🌈 (@fanniesroom) May 20, 2019

On a more serious note, personally, I'm pretty meh about who ended up on the Iron Throne. I definitely didn't want Jon to kill Dany and then take the throne himself. It also seems like Tyrion is actually going to be in charge, even though he's officially the Hand.

I would have liked to have seen more of Yara and Brienne in the last few episodes, but the finale sort of solidified that the central characters of the series were the Starks. I'm not going to rush to any sort of immediate hot take. The series was 8 seasons long and the books aren't finished yet. It's an enormous piece of pop culture and, as such, I may want to write about it again after a re-watch.

Gentleman Jack Recaps

Hi everyone - are you watching Gentleman Jack on HBO?

For those not familiar:

Gentleman Jack is an eight-episode drama series from BAFTA-winning writer Sally Wainwright (To Walk Invisible, Happy Valley).

Set in 1832 West Yorkshire, England, Gentleman Jack is inspired by the true-story and coded journals of Anne Lister (played by Suranne Jones), and follows her attempt to revitalize her inherited home, Shibden Hall. Most notably for the time period, a part of Lister's plan is to help the fate of her own family by taking a wife.

The series is on HBO and runs Monday nights at 10 PM. I will be posting weekly recaps at Shakesville starting today! My first recap, of the pilot, is posted - so check it out! (Note: Recaps will include spoilers for that episode.)

Dispatches From the Queer Resistance #8 - A Pete Buttigieg Special

Welp, openly-gay mayor of South Bend, Indiana Pete Buttigieg has officially entered the 2020 presidential race.  Over at Shakesville, I share my thoughts about that, and other stuff, for another installment of Dispatches From the Queer Resistance.

Check it out!

Femslash Friday: Broad City - Abslie

Abbi and Dr. Leslie, played by Clea DuVall.

Yes please:

!!!!!!!!!!! pic.twitter.com/GhQ6vPcp16

— Broad City (@broadcity) February 25, 2019

I'm not sure what exactly Leslie is doing for those awkward few seconds when she turns her back on Abbi, other than obviously waiting to be asked out, but it's fuckin' funny.

United Methodists Choose LGBT Discrimination

Via Emma Green at The Atlantic, the United Methodist Church has voted to tough prohibitions on same-sex marriage and LGBT clergy:

"This was a surprise: The denomination’s bishops, its top clergy, pushed hard for a resolution that would have allowed local congregations, conferences, and clergy to make their own choices about conducting same-sex marriages and ordaining LGBT pastors. This proposal, called the One Church Plan, was designed to keep the denomination together. Methodist delegates rejected their recommendations, instead choosing the so-called Traditional Plan that affirmed the denomination’s teachings against homosexuality."

This is disappointing. And, as the article goes on to note, "It’s also a reminder that many Christian denominations, including mainline groups like the UMC, are still deeply divided over questions of sexuality and gender identity."

White Christian conservatives comprise Donald Trump's base and continue to overwhelmingly support him, with 71% viewing him favorably as a person as of late January 2019.  We have secular marriage equality in the US for same-sex couples, and the political will and mobilization seems to be lacking even as our rights remain under constant attack by the Trump/Pence administration and religious organizations.

Parts of the center-to-left side of the political spectrum seems to be living under this fantasy that conservative Christians will simply convert to socialism once they hear the right politician give the right speech that speaks to their economic anxieties, but that fantasy overlooks the faith-based reasons, such as they are, that many people support Republican politicians.