Journey to life day 16 - Fearing conflict

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid of conflict

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to out of fear to avoid conflict

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make sure that my actions never cause conflict with others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself  to compromise myself by not speaking up when I see I need to because it would cause conflict

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow fear of conflict to direct me 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to  fear conflict situations because I fear I won’t be able to direct myself or the situation effectively 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I cannot handle conflict situations based on past experiences – not realizing that I have never actually directed myself to become effective

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am a peaceful person that does not get angry

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give up on myself because I fear conflict

I commit myself not to hide or run away from conflict

I commit myself to embrace conflict – because through conflict you create friction  and its through friction where points get moving

I commit myself to push myself through the fear and resistances to say what needs to be said and not to worry about if I will be effective or not. 

I commit myself to stop comprising myself by avoiding directing myself and others

I commit myself to stand strong when a point needs to be said and to follow through

Unarmed Woman Shot outside police Station by cop

A Woman drove into the back of a police patrol van just outside Kempton Park police station. The car guard ran into the station to report the accident. The sergeant then walked out of the station for 30, calmly approaching the woman's car. He stopped at the passenger window, pulled out his gun and fired a single shot into her upper body. He then walked back into the police station.

Seconds later he comes back outside to have a proper look at the woman he shot, the car guard insisted he should call an ambulance but the cop replied:'' She is dying already, there is no point in calling the ambulance.''

This is a example of manifested backchat. When you keep on having fights in your head with someone, or take something personally and snap at someone in anger, you fuel this anger. Then one day you simply snap and get completely possessed by this anger and you lash out - having devastating consequences.

To stop this from happening we need to stop the urge to snap at people and stop thoughts that will eventually manifest into an event. The Desteni I process has the tools that we can use to assist ourselves with stopping abusive behavior so that such events as mentioned above doesn't happen. Where one can be the directive principle in your life.

My experience with backchat so far was that when i take something personally i reacted immediately with anger, usually trying to get back at the person with mean words or in my head I make sure they come out second best. But that anger got worse overtime. I managed to get to a point where i stop participating in it, meaning that i used to be angry for most the day before i calmed down.
Now when the thoughts come up i stop them, and I don't wallow in for most the day.

So if you experience any thing similar to this, know that if you don't stop it completely, eventually you will become it and the consequences will be dire.
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