Fourth Grade Writing

Check out this piece of writing from a fourth grade writing workshop I recently taught.

The students were writing paragraphs that show setting (instead of telling the setting).

This one was the back of a crowded school bus on a rainy day.

She ran through puddles and splashed onto the first step of the bus. When she made it to the back, she flopped onto a seat and pulled off her soggy hat.

"I didn't expect it to rain today," she muttered. 

Her friend tromped onto the bus and plopped down next to her. The bus was starting to fill up. The air smelled like wet rubber from the kids' rain boots.

"I can't wait until I can get off!" she said to her friend.

Fourth Grade Writing

Check out this writing from a FOURTH GRADE writing workshop

The assignment was to write a paragraph showing a setting. 

This one is summer at the beach.

Carly shut her eyes and let a light breeze whistle past her ears, caressing her lightly. She picked up a beautiful conch shell, then listened to the unique song it sang when she pressed it to her ear. She felt the yellow-white sand grind beneach her feet as she stepped lightly across the beach.

She looked at the beautiful white-capped waves. The smell of the salty, clear-blue water wafted into her nose as she rushed into the ocean. Oh, how the cold water lapped against her ankles! Beautiful refractions threaded across the bottom of the sea like a constantly shifting spider web.

Fourth grade!!!

Advice from the Trenches: Part 4

Part 1 is HERE.

Part 2 is HERE.

Part 3 is HERE.

In addition to doing one-day-get-in-and-get-out presentations, I also do writing workshops of two or more days.

Here, then, is some advice on conducting writing workshops (learned from my time in the trenches):

• Send a written information sheet to the contact person prior to the workshop. On the sheet, clearly outline what you will be doing and if there will be any homework assignments. This gives teachers a chance to prepare for the day, especially the homework load.

• Let the kids know very clearly what they can expect from the workshop. (Today we will be talking about blah blah. ...You will have some homework tonight....Tomorrow when I come, you should have finished blah blah, etc.)

• I always announce from the get-go: "I don't expect that everyone in this class loves to write. Maybe you do, but I bet there's someone in here who doesn't love to write. But that's okay. For this workshop, I'll be with you every step of the way. I won't leave anyone in the dust...and hopefully, you will enjoy it. But no matter what, you can say goodbye to your worries about writing." You'd be surprised how many kids have a look of utter relief on their faces at this permission to not like writing. (And I'm proud to say I've had kids tell me that they thought they didn't like to write - but they really had fun in the workshop. The ultimate!)

• Most teachers will beat you to this, but if not, have the kids clear everything off their desks except what they will need for the workshop. This alleviates distractions, flying rubber bands and smashed pretzels.

• Before asking a student to help hand out any worksheets, paper, etc., check with the teacher. Often the class has designated helpers for the day and there may already be an official paper-giver-outer. Kids take those things seriously, you know.

• Before you say the word "highlighter" - tell the kids to sit on their hands. Trust me, the mere mention of the word sends 25 kids diving into their desks immediately. It's amazing.

• When orally brainstorming examples of writing exercises, be prepared to hear about dirty underwear and dog poop. In fact, be prepared to hear anything.

• When it's time to orally share student writing, ask the teacher to help you call on students to share. The teacher knows the students and knows which ones may need to be drawn out.

• As an alternative to asking the teacher to help call on students to read, ask if the teacher has a method of randomly selecting students (such as popsicle sticks). Many teachers do and it's a good way to fairly choose readers. 

• Make sure the students know you probably won't have time for everyone to share, but you will do your best.

• Announce, "This is the last one" when you are calling on the last student. This saves 25 kids from continuing to wave their hands wildly.

That's it, folks!

Things I Love Thursday

How can I not love this?

Writing by a fourth grade boy: a paragraph showing the setting of an attic in an old house--

Tip! Tap! was the sound he heard as he walked up the steps. He smelled the smell of the old things. He could taste the dust as he turned on the light switch. Click!

He saw the creepy boxes covered with cobwebs and spiders. "Eek!" he screamed as a giant bug slithered out of the smallest box and crawled toward him. Slowly, he walked backwards until the light flickered and then...blackness.

Things I Love Thursday

I love to read student writing like this:

From a 4th grade boy writing a paragraph showing setting:

Jack's feet danced as they touched the blazing sand. He looked to his left. There were picnic tables. He looked to his right. A barren lake was sitting there luring him to it. Jack sprinted to the docks. He dove ten feet deep and swam to the raft. Once there, he cannon-balled ten times. The sky was turning purple over the horizon.

"Jack! We have to go now," screamed his mom.

"On my way," he replied.

That wonderful day must come to an end. Now it was dark. 

Things I Love Thursday

 I love reading student writing.


From a fourth grade boy writing a paragraph that shows the setting of summer at the beach:

As the sun melted my face, I tasted the grains of salt sticking to my shirt. I saw green mixing with the orange, red, and purple to form the horizon. I hear schools of fish jump out of the everlasting water. I couldn't resist the urge to pull out my fishing pole and throw the sandy worm into the unknown.

Things I Love Thursday

I love reading fifth grade writing.

I recently taught a biography writing workshop with fifth graders.

They did an amazing job. 

 

Check out some excerpts from one of them (and they were ALL amazing):

A crisp, cold wind whistled through the treetops on February 19, 1928, and sailed past a little yellow bungalow, only stopping to hear the joyful sighs of a proud mother and father cooing over their little girl. 

Children raced along the small sidewalks of the tiny town of __, Kansas, to the few shops in the center of town. Dogs strolled through green lawns and a light frost covered windowpanes, but Mary __ was too young to enjoy it. Her little fingers were closing into little fists, and then opening, as she looked in wonder.

Are you wowed yet? Just wait till you read the ending:

 

Now living in __, Connecticut, if you stop by to listen, you might hear the crisp pages of a new cookbook turning, the microwave running, or something boiling on the stove.

If you stop a minute to smell, you might smell the aroma of spices or maybe something baking in the oven.

If you stop to peer in through the window, you might see bottles and jars out, pots on the stove, or baking sheets going into the oven.

And sometimes, you might see her lying on the couch, remembering all the fun times she had traveling before.

If you ask her what her greatest accomplishment was, she would tell you it was raising four wonderful kids.

On rainy days, she might be finding a new use for something old.

You might see her watching T.V. or reading the newspaper, or maybe trying to find out more about her Grandpa L.

I could use many words to define her: thrifty, hard-working, loving, caring, funny, helpful, a loving mother, a loyal wife, and many more, but the best thing to say is that she is a wondrous woman. 

FIFTH GRADE, PEOPLE!  

Things I Love Thursday

 I love writing like this.

Written by a FIFTH GRADE boy, showing the setting of summer at the beach:

Jack took off his sandals and stepped onto the hot sand and let his feet sink in. The breeze slapped his face, but he liked the way it cooled him down. He looked up and saw seagulls circling the shore, searching for leftover food to snatch. The sound of crashing waves caught his attention. He ran past people lying down on the ground getting burned by the heat of the intense sun.

He dived into the crystal clear warm water. Whenever Jack did this, he was transferred to a new world of reef jungles. He opened his eyes and saw schools of fish with amazing patterns, like rainbow zigzags or polka dots. He saw rays gliding through the ocean like planes in the air. Sharks ruled the reef and ate whoever they chose. Jellyfish floated through the ocean. They were amazing with how they puffed their bodies to fly. Small fish darted past his face, studying him, wondering if he was an ally or a foe.

He explored the coral pathways and tunnels. But then the moment he always dreaded came. Time for more air. He floated up to the ocean surface, knowing he would be back soon.

Things I Love Thursday

I love kids who love to write and earnestly seek advice from authors.

I was at a school recently and did a basic author presentation, followed by a writing workshop. 

A 4th grade boy came to the presentation with a spiral notebook to take notes. He was the only one out of 100 students that did so.

When I went to his classroom to do the workshop, he called me over during one of the writing exercises. In his notebook he had written:

The Steps to Writing a Book

Step 1: Idea [Which he added based on the information he had learned from my presentation]

Step 2:

Step 3:

Step 4: 

etc

"So, what are the steps to writing a book after the idea?" he asked me.

Ummmm, well, ummm....gee.

*thinks quickly*

"Character," I said. For me, a book starts with character.

He scribbled that down and looked up, eyebrows lifted, waiting for Step 3.

So I gave the old formula of: problem, then obstacle, then solution.

He jotted those down.

And then I remembered setting. Setting is an integral part of the story.

He jotted that down.

But then setting isn't Step 6. Setting belongs up there toward the top.

This was getting all muddied up.

It felt so unsatisfying.

And then I realized that How to Steal a Dog (the book he had read) didn't really fit that classic problem/obstacle/solution formula as clearly as other problem novels. 

That boy and I needed to talk, discuss, brainstorm.

But, alas, I had a whole classroom of kids needing my attention. So I left him with his Steps to Writing a Book, wishing I had more time.

BUT, he did give me food for thought. After I left, I thought a lot about The Steps to Writing a Book. 

There are times when they are clear: Step 1, Step 2, Step 3.

And times when they aren't.

I hope some day that boy has a chance to figure it out. (And me, too. Ha!)

            

Writing Workshops

Here is a group of fifth graders showing me the timelines they made of someone they interviewed. The timelines will help them organize their information in preparation for writing a three-chapter biography.

Before and After

I'm recycling a post from back in 2007 because a) I like it and b) I'm a cheater:


I think one of the best ways to help kids understand specific writing techniques, such as "Show, Don't Tell" - is to present them with examples of before and after revision.


Over the years, I've collected some great samples of revisions done by fifth graders that illustrate their grasp of the "Show, Don't Tell" technique.


Check these out (from workshops in which the kids - fifth graders - write biographies of a parent or grandparent):


Before: Bob wasn't happy when his father told him they were moving.


After: Bob's father came in and announced, "We're moving." Bob groaned when he heard the news.




Before: John loved to play baseball with the kids in the neighborhood.


After: As soon as John got home from school, he dashed back to his room to grab his baseball mitt, then hurried to meet his friends in the vacant lot next door.




Before: She was good at swimming.


After: Swimming medals covered her bedroom wall.




Before: Sam loved to go to the Cape every summer with his family.


After: Sam counted the days until his family would load the beach chairs and boogie boards into the car and head for the Cape.




Before: He hated doing chores, like vacuuming, washing dishes or raking.


After: He groaned when he had to vacuum. He whined when he had to wash dishes. He grumbled when he had to rake.




Before: His favorite subject was geography.


After: He loved it when the teacher whacked her pointer on the map, pointing out countries and rivers.


For any kid who didn't quite "get" Show, Don't Tell, hearing these usually lights the old proverbial light bulb for them.

Scribble scribble scribble

Welcome to my world of writing workshops...
all wrapped up for the school year

Can you write like a fifth grader?

A fifth grader's opening paragraph from a biography of his father:

His hands felt numb as he strummed the strings harder and harder until he got the right tune, a soft hum to match the best of the music that flowed from the shiny black stereo next to him. 

He looked at the notes on the fading piece of paper and began the song, his friend Kevin stomping to the beat and clapping for him.

Ever since Tom O. was born, on November 9, 1967, he had loved to play guitar.

Cereal Box Book Reports

 While Mr. Mason's students were hard at work on their writing, I checked out their fantastic cereal box book reports.

As time goes by

Another writing workshop.

Another great group of kids showing off their timelines.

As time goes by

Mrs. Mansfield's fifth graders at John F Kennedy School are eager to show me their timelines during a biography-writing workshop.

Writing Workshop

A writing workshop with 4th graders from Deer Hill School in Cohasset, MA:

Many thanks to teacher extraordinaire, Mike Lewis, for the photos.

Fifth grade? Really?

From a biography written by a fifth grade boy:

In Denver, Colorado, 1938, the city was speaking. The city was honking car horns. The city was people shouting. The city was blinking its traffic lights. Who would have thought that somewhere in the middle of the noise, Susan P was being born?

A fifth grader? Seriously?

Written by a fifth grader (first draft):

His hands felt numb as he strummed the strings harder and harder until he got the right tune, a soft hum to match the best of the music that flowed from the shiny black stereo next to him.

He looked at the notes on the fading piece of paper and began the song, his friend, Kevin, stomping to the beat and clapping for him. Ever since Tom C was born on September 9, 1962, he had loved to play the guitar.

Some awesome writing

From a biography of his mother, written by a fifth grader:

Original version:

She hated putting price stickers on plastic bags at her father's bakery.

Revised version:

Peel, stick. Peel, stick. She hated her job. Her fingers were aching, shaking and sore as she put price tags on plastic bags at her father's bakery.