Gifts and Choices

Kyle sent me a graduation speech given by Jeff Bezos, CEO of Amazon.com, that he gave at Princeton University. Throughout his speech he talks about gifts and choices- gifts are things that comes naturally, they're easy. Choices on the other hand can be difficult. It can be hard to make the right choices, but the reward is worth every bit of the struggle.
Here's a bit of his speech...

***

"We are What We Choose"

Remarks by Jeff Bezos, as delivered to the Class of 2010
Baccalaureate
May 30, 2010

Tomorrow, in a very real sense, your life -- the life you author from scratch on your own -- begins.
How will you use your gifts? What choices will you make?
Will inertia be your guide, or will you follow your passions?

Will you choose a life of ease, or a life of service and adventure?
Will you wilt under criticism, or will you follow your convictions?
Will you bluff it out when you're wrong, or will you apologize?
Will you guard your heart against rejection, or will you act when you fall in love?
When it's tough, will you give up, or will you be relentless?
Will you be a cynic, or will you be a builder?
Will you be clever at the expense of others, or will you be kind?
I will hazard a prediction. When you are 80 years old, and in a quiet moment of reflection narrating for only yourself the most personal version of your life story, the telling that will be most compact and meaningful will be the series of choices you have made. In the end, we are our choices. Build yourself a great story.

***

I sure hope that when I'm 80, and my grandkids and great grandkids are sitting around my rocking chair and I start to tell my story, I hope it is one full of love, sprinkled with adventure, filled with purpose, and grounded in kindness.



 

My Personal Kindness Challenge

I am so humbled by all of you who have taken the 90 days of kindness challenge! I have received lots of comments and e-mails about how you have incorporated this into your daily lives and the areas in which you are going to focus your energy. I fear, however, that I have fallen a bit behind in providing you support. I have read every post and e-mail and comment and am so grateful for them and am trying to write you back in meaningful ways. Please trust that I value each and every word you share!

In all my talk of challenging you, I realize that I have not shared my kindness plan, and in all honesty it's in part because it's so hard to put into words.

I find that kindness toward strangers comes fairly easily to me. I love going out of my way to help others as they walk past me on the street, come into my office, and enter and exit my life throughout the day. I am by no means where I need to be in my efforts and feel called to extend this kindness in more intentional ways to those in the community who are struggling.

There is an area, however, where I fall short most of the time. There is a person that I sometimes have little patience for. The times when I lose my temper the most, hold grudges, put myself first, and bring up faults has to do with the most valued, trusted, and loved person in my life: my husband.

Writing those words just makes me want to crawl under a rock for fear of being thought of as the most horrible wife in the world. But why is it so easy to show strangers kindness when I struggle to show kindness to the most important person in the world?

Before I go to bed I pray that God will help me become the wife that he calls me to be. That he will show me how to love my husband with the love of Jesus. That he will take away my impatience, my selfishness, my stubbornness, because it's all there. All that ugly stuff of a sinner is there.

These things do not come out for lack of love for my husband. I love him more and more every day. I love him so much that it hurts to think of ever spending one day apart from him. But throughout my daily life, my responsibilities at work and to my students, I often find that when I get home in the evening, my energy is gone, my kindness is used up, and all I have for him are the "leftovers." The frustrations that I can't tell my colleagues, I often let out on him. The impatience that I've had throughout the day comes out on him. And I hate that I do this.

For the next 90 days (or the next forever perhaps?) I want to focus my energy on treating my husband the way he deserves to be treated. He is the head of our family, the king of our household, the one God called to be a leader in every way.

"Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything." Ephesians 5:22-24

The word "submit" used to give me the willies, but I think God has been softening my heart through marriage. This book also helped. As a follower of Christ, I don't get to pick and chose which parts of the bible sound good and which don't. If I believe in the words of Jesus, that he is my savior and died for my sins, and that he is coming back some day, then I sure better believe that I need to submit to my husband.

Ephesians calls me to respect my husband unconditionally, as in without conditions- not after he does the dishes, or takes out the garbage, or does the budget, but always. This is hard for me, and it is one of many elements I want to focus on through this challenge.

So there you have it...that was a lot of words. I hope you don't think less of me for not always being kind to my husband. I swear I love him. I do! But I can always love him more, the way Christ loves me.

 

90 Days of Kindness Challenge

A few weeks ago our pastor spoke about living a bibically radical life. He explained various ways he has tried to live a radical life for Jesus: giving up his possessions, selling his home, making flashy statements of his religion. But he said none of that was as radical as one single expression of faith, one relatively simple concept, a notion that we have heard since we were children.

"I've learned the most radical thing I can do is to be kind."

In 1 Corinthians, Paul says that above all gifts (speaking in tongues, healing, teaching), there is still a more excellent [radical] way.

And that way is love and kindness.

As I was sitting in church listening to these words, something came over me. I was so inspired, so moved. Is it really this simple?

"If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal."

In 1 Corinthians 13, Paul states that without love, our words are empty and meaningless. Love seems like such an easy piece of the puzzle, but without it, we lack so much.

"If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing."

Nothing? Nothing? What a strong word. Nothing.

I have read this verse time and time again and really have not let it all sink in. Without love, I am nothing. Without love, I give nothing. Without love, I gain nothing.

Maybe kindness is pretty radical after all.

Kindness is radical living.

It is going the distance with people
giving hope to someone who is difficult
having manners
not bringing up others wrongs
not keeping score
promoting others
putting others first
being patient when it's really really hard
forgiving others when it's even harder

Kindness is
patient
happy with what it has
humble
slow to anger

Kindness delights in truth

Kindness always trusts
hopes
survives

Our pastor gave us a challenge: to be kind [to one person, cause, thing, whatever] for 90 days.

He asked us to reflect and intentionally chose one area to focus all of the kindness we can muster. Once we complete 90 days, maybe another 90, and then 90 days after that, and then who knows. You might just be a bit more radical!

I am up for the challenge AND I WANT YOU TO JOIN ME!

I'd love for you to take the challenge too and see what happens!

Want to see what a radical life you can live?

- Pray and reflect and chose one area that you will devote kindness toward for 90 days.

- Write a blog post letting others know you are up for the challenge.

- Link it up on my blog. You can find the link under the "kindness challenge" page. I will be featuring folks throughout the challenge.

- Add the kindness challenge button to your blog.

- Encourage others to take the challenge.
-Don't have a blog? E-mail me your kindness plan to iamalongfortheride@gmail.com!

"Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil by goodness."

Romans 12:21

Here's to a radical, life-changing, kindness-filled 90 days!

 

It's Coming

Are you ready for the challenge?

"And now I will show you the most excellent way. If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing...Love never fails"

1 Corinthians 12:31-13:1-3, 8