Rick Perry is not as think as you stoned he is!

Here are the "high"lights of soon-to-be-former-presidential candidate Texas Gov. Rick Perry's recent speech in New Hampshire. If you want to sit through the entire addled trainwreck you can watch it here.



He doesn't look sleepy and he isn't slurring his speech enough for it to be booze and he isn't jumpy and hyper enough for it to be cocaine and his teeth are too nice for it to be meth. He's a bit too animated for it to be weed (though it really reminded me of this), so I'm guessing some kind of hallucinogen, but he's not trying to hug anyone so it probably isn't X and he doesn't have the manic grin or unblinking laser eyes of someone on LSD, so it must be something a bit more obscure - I'm guessing ibogaine.

After all, he wouldn't be the first candidate to get derailed by ibogaine.




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"oh yeah, well you health care reformers can just bite me"

Conservatives and Republicans continue to sink to new lows in the U.S. health care reform debate with GOP chair Michael Steele heckling the audience - now we know what it takes to get thrown out, you have to ask a Republican a difficult question, the young lady involved is lucky she didn't get tasered. Meanwhile, one anti-reform protester gave health care reform the finger, but not in quite the way you might think.

Pop quiz!

Imagine you work as a subcontractor for a bank. The bank wants photos of a bunch of properties on which it holds mortgages to confirm the properties are being kept up and to check the condition of properties on which the mortgage is in default, so off you go in your car with your trusty camera and start snapping away. One homeowner sees you parked in front of his house taking pictures and gets a bit testy. He marches out to the car and wants to know who you are and what the hell you think you're doing taking pictures of his house. Maybe he even gets a bit irate and slaps his hand down on hood of your car. This is not your first day on the job and probably not your first irate homeowner. What do you do?

1. Laugh at him and drive away.
2. Show him your business card, tell him the bank sent you out to take photos of his house and tell him you'll be happy to wait while he calls your office to confirm your story.
3. Stick your .357 magnum in his face before he scratches the paint on your Ford Escort.

Answer key
1. You are an asshole.
2. You are a professional.
3. You are a Republican


h/t to JJ at Unrepentant Old Hippie