seven statements that prove Margaret Wente is an idiot

Is there anything more tedious than a professional contrarian with a newspaper column? You know the type, they are everywhere - those who can be relied upon to always zig when society zags just because they fancy themselves courageous rebels taking a stand for "freedom" or "common sense" by doing or saying stupid things just because they are the opposite of what everyone else is doing or saying.

I'm not talking about people who dislike top 40 music because it is top 40 music - unless you are a 12-year-old girl or tone deaf or actually hate music and have an IQ around room temperature (in other words American Idol's target audience) hating top 40 music is common sense. Nickleback really does suck. They have sold millions of records to people who don't actually like music but feel the marketing-driven need to consume pop culture. Their music is like a not-so-clever imitation of actual rock music, in the same way a paint-by-numbers copy of the Mona Lisa is an imitation of actual art. But I digress.

I'm talking about the sort of people who, because doctors say too much fat is bad for you, insist on eating nothing but bacon at every meal. The sort of people who mark Earth Hour by turning on every light and appliance in the house and idling their Humvee in the driveway for an hour. The kind of people who regularly say things like "Experts? ha, what do they know?" or "just because its on the news/in the newspaper/in a textbook/in a peer-reviewed scientific journal, doesn't mean it is true, my gut feeling tells me it is false!" or "Ha, all you sheeple think X is true just because of so-called 'evidence' and 'statistics' and 'math' - that's how I know Y is true!" These are the people psychologists talk about when they discuss the Dunning-Krueger effect.

One such person is Margaret Wente. She has had a long and successful career in the newspaper biz on the basis of a few things, one of which is undoubtably very thick skin. I suspect another is the ability to make herself such a pain the ass to her coworkers and superiors that she has often been promoted out of the way - a process often referred to as "failing up."

Anyone who has had the misfortune to read her column on a regular basis already knows this, but for those lucky enough to have dodged that particular bullet, I submit this article as proof: Margaret Wente "7 Things You Can't Say In Canada"

Wente's article is little more than a list of "sacred cows" that no one but brave little her dares to kick, with little or no evidence to support any of her claims. Her list:

• 1. Margaret Atwood writes some awful books. (none of which are named, naturally)
• 2. Recycling is a waste of time and money. (Maggie is the kind of person who thinks bailing out the leaking boat is a waste of time, what you really need to do is make some more holes to let the water out)
• 3. Only private enterprise can save health care. (apparently the ghost of Tommy Douglas will haunt you if you say this out loud)
• 4. David Suzuki is bad for the environment. (see number two)
• 5. A national day care program won't do a thing to help poor kids. (except allow both their parents to get jobs and earn money, thus making the family less poor)
• 6. The Group of Seven are overexposed genre painters (she may not know art, but she knows what she likes)
• 7. The United States is the world's greatest force for good. (Yes, you must never say this in the America's biggest trading partner and closest ally or you will join all the other conservatives in the liberal anti-american re-education camp we built that everyone else calls Alberta.)

First, the fact that such an article being published in the Canadian edition of Reader's Digest pretty much proves that not only can you say these things Canada, but that you can be paid handsomely to say them in a mass market magazine that generally publishes the literary and journalistic equivalent of rice pudding. Second, every single thing she says is idiotic, reactionary, meaningless nonsense that is being spouted simple for the sake of trying to start an argument. An argument that Wente would then inevitably lose and then proceed to claim that because someone took issue with her saying something as  dumb as "David Suzuki is bad for the environment" proves that she is a courageous maverick who bad people want to censor.

Look Margaret, saying "the earth is flat" is not insightful, it is not clever and it is not true. Claiming that by saying it, you have somehow kicked a sacred cow or declared that the emperor wears no clothes is  not just bullshit ("my heavens. just look how outrageous I am! Is there anything I won't dare to do? Watch out, I might wear white after Labour Day!") but exceedingly tedious, attentions-seeking bullshit that most people grow out of before they finish high school.

Addendum: Just to be crystal clear, I have no problem with Wente saying whatever she wants. Free speech being promised by the constitution and all that, she can blather on about what ever she likes, but free speech being promised in the constitution and all that, I can blather on all I want about how stupid her blathering are. That isn't censorship, that is criticism. And there is nothing in the constitution promising that no one will critique your stupidity when you exercise your freedom of speech.
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Tell me again how 'government can't do anything'

 These are photos from Mars, taken by a nuclear-powered truck that a bunch of hairless monkeys landed there by remote-control sky-crane from a planet away. I was able to download them from the internet less than 20 minutes after the aformentioned atomic space truck landed. Doing so cost about one fifth of the cost of the London Olympics.
Sometimes our species disgusts me and makes me wonder how we ever made it out of the caves.
Sometimes not so much.


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Which side are you on, MacKay?

Conservative legacy hire Peter MacKay, Minister of Defence and CPC capo for Atlantic Canada, gives a speech at the French Embassy on Bastille Day (video not an exact match, but you get the idea)





This illustrates a few things: First, that MacKay knows as much about history as he does geography. Second, that he must write his own speeches and may think he is American. Third, the millions of dollars the CPC has decided to spend celebrating the War of 1812 hasn't been spent on briefing cabinet members on what the War of 1812 actually was.
I bet as part of the cutbacks, they brought in a highly-paid consultant who just made them watch this movie trailer and told them it was a documentary made up of contemporary newsreel footage. It would have to be newsreel film, everybody knows they didn't have videotape back in the early 19th century, right Minister MacKay?







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thou shalt not bear false witness

Someone thinks this story should make you angry about the big bad government and how it discriminates against poor persecuted Christians and robs people of fundamental liberties with its jackbooted thugs and politically-correct commissars. In other words, it is a typical SUN news story.

Naturally the story of how Michael Salman has been mercilessly hounded by the prayer police and thrown into prison for studying the bible in his own home and helping lead people to Jesus has been making the rounds of the all the conservative and christian websites, where the "morns" have been lapping it up like manna from heaven.

A little basic research and you realize that the SUN has left out a few inconvenient facts, in other words, it is a typical SUN news story.

Even FOX News and a conspiracy-mongering libertarian website did better jobs at presenting more than one side of the story. And these guys seem to have gone over the internet with a fine-toothed comb to find the good pastor's previous criminal convictions for impersonating a police officer, involvement in a drive-by shooting and a number of indications that he has been engaged in less-than-honest business practices.

Essentially, this boob has built a 2000 square foot church in his backyard and hosts services three times a week. The building does not conform with the building code or zoning requirements for a church. And despite his making a big martyr-flavoured whoop-de-doo about surrendering himself to go to jail, the authorities sent him home. But don't tell the rubes on the internet or that read the SUN that, or they might not get outraged about "liberal persecution" and send money to this con man.

Honestly, we require other consumable products to carry a label listing ingredients. If the SUN had to do likewise the label would read something like: "10% stereo ads, 10% hometown sports boosterism, 2% cheesecake, 77 % sheer bullshit, 1% white space.

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if they gave out awards for sheer brass...

Then Lord Tubby would certainly get one, with crossed swords, oak leaf clusters and bar.
But they don't.
People who renounce their Canadian citizenship to accept foreign honours should automatically be stripped of the Order of Canada, as should people who disgrace the Order by being convicted of serious criminal offences.
They stripped Alan Eagleson of his Order of Canada and, despite his being a complete and total crook and slipperier than a greased weasel, he did actually make a contribution to the country and to the sport of hockey. Unlike Conrad Black, the Eagle at least has the enough shame to accept that he did not deserve the honour.
Unlike Eagleson who was instrumental in putting together the 1972 Canada-Russia series while lining his pockets, Conrad Black, has contributed zero to the nation. Anything he has done, he has done to line his own pockets and achieve his own ends.
At the very most, I suppose it could be argued that he did do Canada a small service by taking Barbarella Amiel off the dating circuit, but I hardly think that saving a handful of media executives and faux aristocrats from here tender ministrations hardly merits the Order of Canada.
If – and it is a big if – there has been a net benefit to the nation as a result of his actions, it has been purely accidental and more likely than not a result of his inability to figure a way to keep the cash in his own grasping, grubby paws.
The board of advisors to the Order of Canada does not owe Conrad Black a hearing, it owes him naught but the back of its collective hand.
Canada owes Conrad Black absolutely nothing and as a convicted felon and foreign citizen he should count himself extremely fortunate that we allow him to enter the country at all.

Though he did inspire a great song.
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why is this man smiling?

This photo of Finance Minister Jim Flaherty with Canada's last penny cost taxpayers $56,000. 
That is more than many rank and file public servants make in a year. That is the annual salary of a nurse or government clerk or soldier.
So, the next time you get pissed off about how long you had to wait to get get your tax refund or passport processed, or why the hospital emergency room is closed on Sunday or why your friend got laid off from their government job, just remember that this is how the party of fiscal responsibility spends your money on themselves.
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This Search Engine Kills Fascists

While we in Canada had a crown-wearing Beaver for our national birthday Google Doodle, our neighbours to the south were treated to the work of one of their greatest patriots,  who would have been 100 years old on July 12 14.

Naturally, this did not sit well with the very people Woody claimed his guitar killed. Mainly because, as one of the commenters at Tbogg points out, these people are nuttier than squirrel poop.
And so, we have a little song from Woody for Twitter users @MarciDPorter @DeusVult1911 @PL1776 and @JammieWF




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Fingerprints or laziness?

I am enjoying Aaron Sorkin's new series The Newsroom. He pretty much had me at "It's not"





however, I will be listening for Sorokinisms



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I'll bet your day seems a lot better now, doesn't it?

WARNING: extremely foul video, do not watch while eating, digesting, considering eating, or thinking about using a bathtub, ever.

I woke up yesterday morning to find the toilet overflowing and the bathtub half filled with raw sewage. No, that is not the opening line in a new blues song, that was my July 2nd.
"The horror, the...horror" as Col. Mistah Kurtz would say. I'm not sure anything will ever smell good to me again, ever. And I am definitely sticking to showers from now on.
I know, I know - some people in Attiwapiskat don't even have indoor plumbing. I will be the first to admit that bitching about turd-water in my whirlpool tub is a very very middle-class first-world problem, but a bathtub full of shit is a bathtub full of shit -- and it's not something you want to wake up to, ever.
Our ace superintendent/fix-it guy WS dropped everything and charged over the hill like the Light Brigade, but 4 or 5 hours later his independent entrepreneur plumber guy was a no-show.
Thankfully, WS whistled and BAM! Those "lazy, overpaid union thugs/parasites on the public purse" you hear so much about on SUN TV, who work for the city public works department here were able to come by within an hour on a statutory holiday and unclog the drain at no cost to me. Hurray for public employees!
It turns out a root from our neighbour's maple tree had grown into the old clay sewer line connecting our older home to the street.
Somewhere there's a political joke in here about maple trees, shit and Stephen Harper, but I'm too tired and just plain grossed-out to come up with it right now.

In other news:

Digby asks "Who would Jesus Taser"

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we stand on guard for theeeee

If the video is acting buggy or has vanished, go look here on YouTube

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We have a special guest

Members of the congregation, your attention please! We have our first ever guest post from none other than our spiritual leader of the moment aka Our Man in Abiko:

Dearly beloved, agents provocateur, lost sheep, members of the choir and the Rev. Paperboy,

Our Man wanted to make the purpose of this sermon crystal clear lest there be any ambiguity. He is not speaking to you in his capacity as Spiritual Leader of the Moment, a moment he might add has gone on for far too long already, but as just another shadowy internet silhouette flogging yet another ebook. 

That said, he trusts you will appreciate that he won't actually get round to the point of self-promotion until the very end of this post, in the meantime, he proposes to wrap himself in the flag of the greater good, as all great authors do when they are invited to wax lyrical about their area of expertise and just happen to mention that their latest overpriced literary doorstopper is available from this website here or that stack-em-high emporium there, if you'd just like to sign up for an email junk mail feed newsletter...

No. He will not do that. Instead he will tell you a little story.

Once upon a time there was a journeyman journo who decided to jump from his minor position in a small time provincial UK paper before he was pushed big time. He ended up back in Japan teaching English by day and writing twisted, drunken and occasionally funny blog posts by night. He didn't have much to say, but he enjoyed saying it. And little by little, he built up a small but well-connected following. He didn't know where it was going, but he hoped it would somehow benefit him in the future for his highly unoriginal and equally unlikely goal of publishing a novel.

Then the earthquake struck on March 11th, 2011, and although he was on the outskirts of the disaster, away from any newsroom and far from Fukushima or the tsunami zones, a dormant journalistic instinct woke up long enough to bite him in his his ass in the shower one morning, a week after the quake:

I've got email. I've got a (bootleg) word processor program. I've got a twitter feed. I'll edit a book of earthquake experiences and flog it to raise money for charity. In a week.

So he did. The rest is history. How exactly the $50,000 raised was spent by the Japan Red Cross, he doesn't know. Exactly how many copies of the book have been sold, he doesn't know. How much genuine suffering was relieved by the book, he has no idea.

But he does know this: It was absolutely worth doing. As an imperfect record of the impact of the earthquake on a nation -- absolutely. As a way for folk to express their true feelings -- absolutely. As an expression of what is possible by anyone with a good idea and a twitter feed -- absolutely.

As a tool for self-promotion? Absolutely not.

And yet, here he is rehashing his glory days on Quakebook. Isn't that a form of selling out and cashing in? He hopes it isn't. 

In his defence he can only say this: that bloody earthquake was the biggest thing to happen to Japan in his lifetime. And Our Man was there. He still is. To not write about the biggest event in a generation for fear that someone might think he was cashing in was as absurd as a relief worker refusing to give out any of 25 bags of rice because there were 30 people starving. To write for free is not tenable, not for a pro, no matter how middling and imperfect he may be. 

The only absolute purity is in doing nothing.

Our Man is not about doing nothing. If you are interested in the story of a half-British, half-Japanese natto-loving ramen waitress helping an American father search for his abducted daughter in Japan in the days of the earthquake, tsunami and nuclear meltdown, Our Man has just the book for you. If you are not; if you think this is cashing in, then please, in all seriousness, do not buy Hana Walker's Half-Life 2:46.

Much obliged, my fellow lost sheep, now back to your regular moral leader, the Reverend Paperboy.

Our Man in Abiko

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A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...

The level of Star Wars geekdom involved in this bends the needle. I mean, writing the parody lyrics is one thing, even the notion of making it a rock opera. But making a seriously high quality video of it? This is a super sized, extra-large order of hot Star Wars geek-love with a side order of deep-fried ewok

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Video killed the radio star

Yeah, we've got you coming and going on the whole music thing this weekend. Just click on the control bar above the radio to pause the music stream and have a look at some music videos.

These first few were suggested by regular reader and hero of the revolution the esteemed Rev. Dr. Democommie  DD, MBE Esq. who has a penchant for Canuckistani roots music.









In response to Comrade Democommie's suggestion, I have a few of my own.



Check out the killer pedal steel guitar by regular reader Stephen from Olde Berlin

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Winter is coming, but it isn't coming fast enough

No, this is not a weather post. The weather in Southern Ontario has been great lately, hail storms notwithstanding. It has been in the mid 30s C, a little humid, but nothing compared to August in Tokyo.
Those in the know will get the reference. I've recently passed on to Mrs. Rev.Paperboy my addiction to the terrific, if slightly cheesy, epic fantasy series Game of Thrones. She watched the first season this week and will likely cruise through the second season next week. Then both of us will go into withdrawal until season three hits the small screen sometime next year. Thank goodness "The Hobbitt" will be out later this year to tide us over.
In the meantime, I whole heartedly agree with Paul & Storm:


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four chords and the truth

The scary part is that they are entirely correct.

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Contemptuous and contemptible

A lot of people are claiming the immigration and citizenship minister Jason Kenney's "Asshole-gate" is a tempest in a teapot and now that Kenney has phoned Alberta deputy premier Tom Lukaszuk to apologize for calling him an asshole in an email to CPC caucus members, we should forget the whole thing.
Not so fast.
Let me stipulate that I am hardly one to clutch my pearls and stumble toward the fainting couch wailing "won't somebody think of the precious, precious children?" any time anyone uses forceful language. Fuck no, I'm all for a "free and frank exchange of ideas" as we used to call them at one place I worked. Strong, even profane language is a vital part of the communications tool kit and it has a valid role to play even in public discourse and the workplace.
And I'm not disagreeing with Jason Kenney's characterization of Lukaszuk. I've never met him, maybe he is a "complete and utter asshole." He is a conservative politician, after all, so what are the odds? I know Kenney and some of his fellow Reform Party refugees had hoped for the more extreme socially conservative right-wing Wild Rose Party to displace the conservative, right-wing Progressive Conservative Party in Alberta and I know how they tend to throw tantrums when the people fail to give them what they want at the ballot box, but as the conservatives like to point out when they win, elections have consequences.
No, my complaint is the complete and utter lack of judgement shown by Kenney in expressing such strong, negative and especially personal opinions about a prominent senior member of a provincial government.
This isn't one guy calling another guy a name in the bar after a few beers, or even politicians speaking frankly around the confidential cabinet table, this is a minister of the crown using an obscenity to describe the deputy premier to other members of parliament. It publicly demonstrates a fundamental lack of respect for both the office and the people of Alberta.
I might think someone in my office or someone my company does business with is an asshole, and I might even mention that opinion to other people I work with, but I certainly don't put that kind of assessment down in writing in any kind of business report, letter, memo, email, phone message or even a lousy post-it note. People are routinely fired for such stupidity.
This speaks also to a larger issue of character. Looking at the kind of buffoons, knuckle-draggers, weasels and flat-out crooks the Prime Minister chooses to surround himself with, you have to wonder after a while if these are really the sort of people we really want running the country.
Consider:

• The PM's parliamentary secretary Dean Del Mastro is currently being investigated for illegal campaign spending and all indicators are that he will eventually face charges. This is the same MP that was the government's point man in trying to deny and mislead over the ongoing robocall vote-suppression scandal.
• The PM's former top adviser Bruce Carson was convicted of five counts of fraud before coming to work for Stephen Harper.
•  Public Safety Minister Vic Toews is an admitted serial adulterer.
•  Bev Oda, in addition to her love of taxpayer funded luxury, also likes to alter documents.
• Maxime Bernier likes to pal around with people who have ties to biker gangs.
• Defense Minister Peter McKay seems to think the Canadian Forces are his personal taxi service.
• The Conservative Party of Canada itself was found to have broken the election financing laws in the In-and-Out scandal
• The entire government was declared in contempt of Parliament , an unprecedented event, sparking the last election

This is by no means an exhaustive list either. I haven't mentioned the G20 Gazebo slush-fund, former PM aide Keith Beardsley violation of lobbying rules,  former conservative caucus leader Rahim Jaffer's breaking of lobbying rules (who could forget the 'busty hookers and coke' stories?) and so many, many other ethical transgressions.
And we haven't discussed the things they have been getting done to for Canadians either, like doing their best to defund rival parties, getting rid of the court challenges program, proroguing Parliament to avoid confidence votes and scrutiny of probable war crimes, running the most secretive government in modern Canadian history (the Parliamentary budget office can't even get info from the government on how it is spending our money), gagging public servants, willfully gutting environmental protections and the general tone of vengeful rat-bastardism of the current government.
The Conservative Party of Canada is not interested in good governance, social justice or what is good for the country as a whole. They are interested in getting and keeping power, lining the pockets of their supporters in the oil and finance industries, comforting the comfortable and stepping on the throat of any who would attempt to challenge them.
Kenney's sneering rudeness and lack of judgement is just the latest example of the party's entitled arrogance and contempt for all outside their fascist cadre.


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Chapter IV: A New Hope

Now that Team Coyne's campaign for the Liberal leadership has come out into the light, one wonders if we can convince Parliamentary process expert, ace thumb-typer, tireless CBC news minx and hat enthusiast Kady O'Malley to run against him. With competition like this, Justin Trudeau might decide to run after all. Certainly any of the three would be more likely to get my vote than John Manley.

And for what it is worth, I bristle at both the notion that Justin Trudeau would be some sort of saviour for the Liberal Party of Canada, and at the outright dismissal of him by pundits such as Coyne. Justin Trudeau has shown himself to be a thoughtful, conscientious and hard working MP. Yes, he has showboated a bit, but mostly because the media demands of it of him. People have been mentioning him as a possible Liberal leader ever since he delivered the eulogy  at his father's funeral.
Certainly, he has charisma aplenty, but he also has a sense of civic responsibility and dare I say it, nobless oblige. People can and will complain that the last Canada needs is a hereditary political dynasty like the Kennedys or Bushes south of the border, but as legacy politicos go, we could do whole a lot worse that Justin Trudeau.
After all, this is someone who was born to wealth and power and could have done anything he wanted. He chose to teach public high school in Vancouver for a few years and then work for environmental causes. His political career has seen him continue to fight for the environment and for programs like Katimavik that turn out engaged, public-minded young Canadians. He has shown himself to be honest, open and on the side of the angels on just about any issue you care to name.
I don't think he is going to be any kind of political messiah, but I think the Liberal Party of Canada could do a lot worse.

In other news, thanks again to the wonderful work of the McMaher, the odious Dean Del Mastro appears to be headed for a world of suck. People have gone to jail for much less than this sort of corruption. Maybe those new prisons weren't such a bad idea after all. We gonna need room for more CPC politicos than just Del Mastro and Pierre Poutine in the long run.


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My father taught me so much

and I'm passing it all on to my kids in just this way.

I should hasten to add that my dad taught me to love the Montreal Canadiens, the Cleveland Indians, the great outdoors, good newspapering, good wine and so many, many other good things. Thanks, Dad.
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108 years ago today

Mr. Joyce taught the band to play...
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Too true

Shamelessly stolen from Stephen Lautens, who has many many more over on the twitter thing where he can be found under @stephenlautens or on his blog here, here, here and here. Collect the whole set! Trade'em with your friends!
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