Drunk Dialed

I received my first drunk dial from another attorney today. It was from this guy. He left a very long and rambling message at 9:00 Tuesday night. You could hear country music playing in the background. I have no idea what the point was or if he expected me to return his call, but it was entertaining.

Advice for the Day: Don't do your call-backs after you've tossed back a few.

So, the case didn't settle.

And I am left to make the big decision.

DH is telling me to take the offer.

I spoke with an associate at work today about her thoughts on my chances of getting the waiver. It is the first time I have uttered a word to anybody at work. She didn't know if this had ever been an issue in my firm--and recognized the predicament this put me in considering the unpredictability of Big Boss.

I spoke with the recruiter about how often this is an issue. She said it has come up 4 times for her and it has always worked out. And she agreed that it would make my firm look unprofessional not to request the waiver.

I am leaning heavily toward taking the offer--but I have not decided 100%. I am not a big risk-taker and this is a very big risk. I am going to try to talk to the office manager in the morning to find out if she thinks it will be a problem to obtain the waiver.

Anyway, I have to decide by early in the day tomorrow. So, please send positive thoughts that I make the right decision and do not end up unemployed.

A Sticky Pickle

The Good:

I got an offer. And it is for more $ than originally contemplated.

The Bad:

The offer is conditional. Apparently there is a conflict because of a case that I know absolutely nothing about, within another practice group that I do not work with at all, and with attorneys that I rarely see or speak with. The case is set for mediation on Thursday. If the case does not settle on Thursday, the offer is conditional upon obtaining a waiver.

Sooooo, assuming the case does not settle, if I tender my resignation and request the waiver and either my firm or the client refuses the waiver I will suddenly be unemployed in a very, very bad job market.

I truly don't know what to do.

On the one hand, I think that my firm would recommend the waiver to the client, because, given the circumstances, it will appear spiteful not to.

But I don't know have any idea how contentious this matter has been or how the client would feel about the waiver.

It is a huge gamble. I am so unhappy with my current firm--but I was also really unhappy when I was unemployed.

Oh, and I have to decide by Friday, because apparently there are a line of alternative candidates standing behind me.

Round 2

I had my second set of interviews this morning, this time with 5 different attorneys. I think it went pretty well. I think I gave the answers they wanted to hear--and they were the truth.

I haven't heard anything back from the recruiter yet, but I really didn't expect to today. I imagine that they will want to compare notes among the people I interviewed with before making a decision.

But . . . when I was sending out my follow-up emails, the most senior partner with whom I met today (but not the one I would be working under) immediately responded (before I even had my other emails drafted!) and said that he hoped that I heard something positive soon and that I would be a good addition to the firm!!!

He seemed to be the one grilling me the hardest this morning--although he was very nice, as was everyone else--so I was thrilled to receive such a positive response from him.

S0--do I respond to this response???

Also, one of the associates that I met with is from my hometown and said there were a few others there from our hometown. And he also knows someone in my current firm and has heard some of the stories.

I am very impressed with this firm. I will definitely take the job if offered. Still trying not to get my hopes up, but it is getting harder not to be optimistic. Fortunately, I have out-of-town depos for the next two days which will keep my mind occupied (and me out of the office!)

Self-Analysis

When I took trial ad in law school we covered a mini-part of a trial in each class section (e.g. the opening statement or cross examination.) We would "perform" in front of our classmates, who would critique our performance, and then we would review a videotape of our own performance with one of the instructors so that we could see our problem areas for ourselves.

It was a sometimes embarrassing, but always valuable experience. I learned that my pitch rises and I speak too fast when I am nervous. My accent comes out when I am trying to be sympathetic. And I tend to make a face that implies that I don't believe what anyone is telling me--which isn't such a great thing when examining one's own client.

So it was with some trepidation that I popped in the CD from my first video-taped deposition today.

I went sooooo slowly. I bet the other attorneys were about ready to strangle me. Definitely need to work on that. I almost sounded like I was speaking to young children--which is a good way to PO the people I have to depose.

And I sound like I am 12 years old. Not sure what to do about that--other than to take up cigarette smoking in an attempt to acquire that sultry Kathleen Turner voice that I get when I have a bad cold. Actually, it seemed like my voice sounded a bit more mature once I became a little irritated with the deponent. So maybe I need to go into my depositions a little PO'd. I also sped up a bit. Apparently I talk too fast when I'm nervous or when I am irritated.

Otherwise, I did ok. I have read enough deposition transcripts to know that short and concise is much better than long and rambling, so I avoided that pitfall.

Hopefully no jury will have to sit through my painfully slow cross-examination--but at least I got the chance to see where I need to improve.

A change of fortune

I have a final interview scheduled for Monday morning. I heard back from the recruiter today and she said that the feedback she received was very positive. I don't have all of the information yet, but from what I have been told, this interview will be with several of the partners. I am still a little stunned that this seems to be going so well.

In other news, I just reserved a cabin for Mother's Day weekend. We haven't had any road trips in a while, and I thought we were due. I don't need any stuff and told DH that a trip with the fam would be the perfect gift. We are going to rent canoes and spend the day on the river. Hopefully no kids go overboard, as we have never tried something like this before. Best of all, the whole trip will cost about $300 plus gas.

LC and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Did not sleep at all last night. Apparently my husband was replaced by Darth Vader in the middle of the night, and no amount of shoulder punches could make it stop. (But he may have some bruises this morning.)

Woke up half an hour early this morning so that I could go into the office early to review some files that I was unexpectedly unable to open from home this weekend. Saw on the news that the highway that makes up 98% of my commute was completely backed up, so decided to forego my early arrival so that traffic could clear.

Was halfway through flat-ironing my hair when my flat iron just stopped working for no apparent reason. So I got to go to work with half frizzy, half straight hair. Made a feeble attempt to pull it pack in such a way that it was not evident to the entire world that I had only straightened half my hair. Don't really think I succeeded.

News said that the earlier problem on the highway was gone. Dropped the girls off, and hopped on the highway only to find myself at a complete standstill. Apparently there were now 2 new problems. Should have just gone in early.

Sat in traffic for an hour before abandoning the highway for a side-street. Sat through a traffic light 5 times, with all of the other highway abandoners. Finally made it through the stoplight and was traveling at a whopping 46 miles an hour for all of 20 seconds.

Got pulled over. Speed limit was 30. Cop took off with my driver's license and when he returned, I tried to plead my case. He said he had already written the ticket and there was no going back.

So I got a speeding ticket with 2 days left on my deferred adjudication for my last ticket. Now I will have to pay both tickets in full. Well, unless I plead not guilty on this one. The cop did say that he wouldn't testify against me. (Ok, so you will get in trouble if you don't give me a ticket, but it's ok to agree not to testify? Sounds fishy to me.)

Finally made it to work 15 minutes late. (So much for my original plan for an early arrival.)

Found out that the court granted my motion to join two new international parties to a case, but denied my motion for continuance. Trial is the second week in June. So I have less than two months to effect service under the Hague Convention and bring the foreign parties in before trial. (Fingers crossed that I don't screw up service.)

Let out an enormous sneeze shortly before lunch. And peed on myself. Yes, carrying two babies at the same time has taken its toll on my bladder. But this has never happened at work before. Note to self: don't try to hold it until lunch every again.

The rest of my day was blessedly uneventful. Thank goodness Monday is almost over.

Crickets Chirping or Are My Neuroses Showing?

The recruiter called me Friday morning to ask how the interview went. I was surprised that she had not heard from the firm. I haven't worked with a recruiter before, but DH has, and he says that they usually speak with the employer very soon after an interview--he has had second interviews scheduled within an hour of leaving a first interview.

I am mildly concerned, but before I left the interview, the office manager told me that she would compile the notes of all of the people with whom I met and send them to the powers that be. She also said that she would be out of the office on Friday and Monday. Since the interview wasn't over until 4:00 on Thursday, there is a good chance that she didn't have a chance to talk to anyone about my interview before she was gong to be out of the office for two days.

I interviewed with a total of 8 people, in pairs, except for the named partner and the office manager. In addition to the named partner, I met with two other partners and 4 associates. The named partner was a little hard to read. He asked if I was used a legal assistant. I told him that I did, most of my legal assistant's assignments come through me, and that we work closely together. Then he said that he didn't like for his junior associates to use legal assistants, because he wants them to know how to do things for themselves. Oops--but I think I did ok, because I confidently stated that there is nothing that my legal assistant does that I am not perfectly capable of and comfortable doing.

He also asked if I used a dictaphone--in a way that suggested that I might be expected to use a dictaphone. I responded that I had never used a dictaphone and that I preferred to do my own typing because I think as I go and type just as quickly as I could dictate to someone. This was, apparently, the correct response, because he went on to tell me that everyone there did their own typing.

Overall, I think that interview went well. The named partner and I are from the same part of the state, which offered some common ground.

In the interview with the next two partners I was asked when I graduated from undergrad. (10 years before graduating from law school.) Which begged the question, what was I doing during that 10 years. The female partner seemed quite impressed that I had gone through law school and was building my career with 3 children, and the male partner didn't seem phased by this information. I think that interview went well.

Two of the persons with whom I interviewed had worked with an associate that I now work with and were obviously aware of Big Boss's reputation. Hopefully this will help me by offering a legitimate basis for wanting to leave. Because I was asked by every different group of people why I was leaving.

Of course, I didn't want to say anything negative about my firm, so I followed the recruiter's instructions and stated that I was seeking more manageable hours. I explained that I was given a target of 170 when I was hired, but it has since been made clear that I am expected to bill 200+. I repeated over and over that I have absolutely no problem billing 170-180.

I hope that this is the correct course of action to take. I am afraid that complaining about work load makes me look like a slacker, but I tried to make really clear that I like what I do, I like working, I just don't want to work 200 hours/month. And they repeatedly stated that their 167 requirement is a true 167 and they have a set bonus structure for anyone who goes over.

There are, of course, about a jillion reasons why I want to leave, but I can't really give any of them without looking unprofessional or like a whiner. So I do hope that my firm's reputation is sufficient to add a little weight to my reason for leaving.

What I liked about the firm: They have gone paperless and everything is scanned in. (My firm does not scan incoming documents. If I want to see a pleading from another party, I have to go to the hard file.) They also give everyone two monitors so that they can view one doc while working in another--and they all raved about how much they like this system.

I was also impressed that even junior associates were involved in the hiring process--it shows me that they really care about making a good fit for the entire practice group. In my firm, I never know we are getting a new associate until the day they show up for work.

There was nothing that I didn't like about the firm--well, except for the televisions in the lobby. It seemed very unlawyerish--but I think they are trying to project a high-tech image.

Anyway, the office manager said that if they were interested, a second interview with several more partners would likely be required. And she couldn't give me a time frame on when they would try to make a decision--which leads me to believe they may be on the fence and want to interview a few more candidates. Not a good sign for me--I have never been hired when I am competing with a pool of candidates--all of my law-related hirings have been "on the spot."

But I'll try to keep my insecurity in check--at least until late in the week.

Deposition Gold

Friday I took depositions of a corporate rep. and employee in a case that should be straightforward, but is turning into a circus. About 2 minutes in, while working through my standard introductory questions I hit the jackpot. The question: "What did you do to prepare for your deposition today?" The answer, "I just looked through my notes." He just happened to have his entire file with him--which had never been produced. So the deposition was shut down for 30 minutes or so while we went through the file, which included numerous internal emails that were quite beneficial to us.

I've taken 15 or so depositions and this is the first time I have had such a stroke of luck. The depo ended up taking 3 times longer than it would have otherwise, and I gathered some great information.

The second deposition did not go quite as well. The employee was tense and I really had to dig to get answers. We got off on the wrong foot when I asked the standard, "have you ever been arrested or convicted?" He instantly disliked me for delving into his personal information. I think I better move that question to the end of my question list in the future.

Reminder -Secretary's Day is this week

I didn't hear about it until about 3:00 the day before last year, so I thought I'd pass it along. I'm sending my secretary orchids. Last year I did a fruit bouquet, which she seemed to like.

Exhausted

Hit the ground running, as usual, this morning. My interview was this afternoon, and I had a number of things that I had to get done beforehand.

The interview was with 7 different attorneys plus the office manager and lasted 3 hours. I think it went well, but I am a terrible judge. But I managed not to say anything inappropriate--as I am prone to do in interviews.

The firm I interviewed with seems to be the polar opposite of my current firm. Developing relationships with your coworkers is encouraged (fraternization is largely discouraged at current firm--in fact I have been specifically instructed not to speak to certain attorneys.) They say that their billing target is accurate and few go over, although there is a bonus structure in place for those who exceed their target hours. They have a well defined partnership track and marketing people to help young associates develop their rainmaking skills. And it looks like I could eventually spread out from the particularized practice group that I would be going into. Everyone I interviewed with was very nice, and I was impressed that they involved even junior associates in the hiring process.

But having to be in "go" mode for 3 hours is exhausting, and I was worn out before I even made it back to the office to complete my day.

I had a couple of projects to finish and then I needed to prep for 2 depos tomorrow once I got back to the office. But, of course, little things kept popping up. And Partner called at 5:55 to tell me that we MUST send discovery out first thing in the morning. It wouldn't take more than an hour, but it was 6 and I still hadn't started prepping for my depos tomorrow.

Then Partner asked why I wasn't attending a certain event tonight. My response: "Yeah, like I have time for that!." I'm pretty sure I pissed him off. I think it came out snarkier than I intended. Or maybe is was subconscious snark.

I gathered what I needed to prepare for my depos, and finally left the office at 7:30, home by 8:00.

Had dinner and spent about 5 minutes with my kids and then had to start sending out thank you emails to the 8 people with whom I met today. It is tough to come up with 8 unique "thanks for meeting with me" emails.

It's now after 9:30--still haven't prepped for my depos tomorrow. Arrgghhhh!

I am getting really, really tired of working all the time. I am trying to set boundaries, but I can't pull back and meet my deadlines and obligations to my clients. I really hope this interview went well.

Strange day

I emailed in that I had an appointment and would be late coming into the office. I left the "appointment" part vague and ambiguous, as I always do, which enables it to cover a host of personal issues.

My plan was to drive to my office, park at the top of my parking garage where I would get decent cell phone reception, and take the call there so that I could immediately go to work afterward.

Thank god it was a phone interview. 10 minutes before the interview was scheduled, I started having hot flashes, clamminess and cramping. No, it wasn't nerves--I think it was a stomach bug or food issue. Anyway, I made it through the interview, but turned around and went right back home because I was not fit to be in the company of other human beings.

Who knows what my bosses though, first with the mystery appointment, then calling in sick altogether. Fortunately, it seems to have passed quickly and I was feeling much better by late afternoon.

Anyway, the interview went very well. I already have an in-person interview scheduled for next week. I'm kind of shocked, considering how poorly my interviews usually go. I liked what I heard and think the change would be positive. My only reservation is that I would be focusing on a single practice area, whereas now I get a pretty decent variety of cases. If I had to name my favorite practice areas, this probably wouldn't make the top 5 list--but I have had a couple of cases of this genre and I don't dislike this area of law.

The Guilt

So I have a phone interview scheduled tomorrow at 10:00. Which is a pretty inconvenient time as far as not interrupting my work day goes. I'm not quite sure how to handle it. I can 1) go to work and then disappear for an hour to do the interview; or 2) just go into work and say I had an appointment.

I am pretty sure somebody will notice if I try to disappear for an hour--Big Boss's secretary sits right outside my door--so he spends a good deal of time right outside my door (which is why I can't just take the call in my office in the first place.)

But I just feel so dishonest saying that I have an appointment--like they'll know what's going on. Not to mention that I will have to create another mystery appointment if they actually like me and want to do a real interview. And I'm pretty sure Big Boss would fire me on the spot if he caught a whiff that I was looking elsewhere.

And then there is the guilt. Despite my unhappiness, I feel this incredible pressing guilt just for looking at other jobs--and the thought of actually leaving makes it worse. Maybe its narcissistic, but I feel like I have the most knowledge of several of my cases and I think it will be tough to get someone else up to speed. And I feel so guilty at the though of leaving my firm in a bind--because I know that we are so incredibly busy right now. And I am sort of attached to certain cases--although there are a few that I will happily leave behind.

But something has got to give. I billed 225 hours last month and I am already on track for a repeat performance. That is too damn much. And I don't sleep anymore. I wake 50 times a night worried about my cases, or something I missed, or one of the 5000 things I still need to do, or whether I made a mistake that is going to get me fired (not that I screw up that often, but a number of firings (not layoffs) at my firm have unnerved me ).

Anyway, I'll do the interview and we'll just have to see what happens from there.

Big Brother is Watching

So today the IT dude cornered me in my office and said, "Did you tell [paralegal] that it was ok to go on Facebook."

"Um, well, I told him to do a Google search on a couple of people that I am trying to find, and I mentioned that they might pop up on MySpace or Facebook."

"Well, we aren't supposed to use Facebook."

"Well it's not like he was just surfing. We are trying to locate witnesses and I told him to do it. Sometimes you end up on Facebook or MySpace. I was just Googling the guy I deposed this morning, and my search took me to Facebook."

"Well, not everybody uses Facebook for searches--they are clicking on links and watching videos. And we sent out an email about not going on Facebook."

"This was not the case with [paralegal]. I told him to do the search, and I will defend him to the powers that be if necessary. By the way--how do you know he was on Facebook--are you monitoring our internet activity?"

"Yes--we see what sites you visit and how long you are there."

Nice. This doesn't surprise me, but it does piss me off. I don't even do anything that should worry me on my work computer--and it still feels like an invasion of privacy. And I know they have every right to do what what they want, but it just feels icky.

Life is grand . . . really

I stayed home from work yesterday because TT woke up with a sore throat and fever. The doc confirmed my suspicion that it was strep. She has consistently had a temperature above 102, despite the constant rotation of Tylenol and Motrin.

TT woke up vomiting at 2:00 a.m. And her temperature had spiked to 104.8. So we medicated her again and gave her a warm bath to more quickly reduce her temperature. (My kids always have really high temperatures when they are sick, so I did not freak out too much.) I kicked DH to the couch and moved TT to my bed so that I could keep an eye on her. And of course got no sleep--that kid snores like a freight train.

Then, today DH took the Behemoth in for an inspection ($39). And left $700 later. We'd considered trading it in a month or so ago because it is getting up in years and mileage, but decided that since it was running well and I really like it, we would just hang on to it. Now I remember why we were thinking of getting a new car.

So, work sucks + 12K to the IRS + sick kid + $700 in car repairs = this week has been freakin' fantastic.

Holey Moley

I finally got around to doing our taxes last night. I've always done our taxes--even when DH was doing a lot of contract work and we were taking a home office deduction. And we have only owed taxes once--even though each year we increased our withholdings to avoid a refund.

I knew going in that this year would be different. For starters, our income doubled--so I was pretty sure that we were going to jump into a new tax bracket. And I was contract for the first 2.5 months of the year-so I knew we would owe for that plus the amounts DH earned for contract work (he usually builds a couple of websites a year for small businesses.)

But I was not prepared to owe $12K.

Apparently our new income means losing the child tax credit, and any deduction for student loan interest (which is capped at $2500 anyway, I paid more than 4x that!) That is what is killing me--the only reason that I have a high income is because I have student loans out the wazoo!

And our mortgage interest and deductions for taxes barely made a dent in the amount owed. Apparently the government wants me to quit paying on my student loans and buy a much larger house if I want to reduce my taxes.

Anyway, I hope that I have screwed something up. For the first time ever, I am paying someone to do my taxes. I hope that they can at least find enough additional deductions to pay for themselves! And that they can tell me what I need to do next year to avoid a repeat scenario.