So a handful of my Facebook friends are people that I went to high school with that I don't really remember. I'm sure that we went to high school together, but we didn't hang out together and I have only a vague recollection of them.
Once such person, we'll call her Sue, friended DH shortly after she friended me. DH did not know her at all! (I transferred to a new HS at the beginning of my junior year. DH went to second HS, this friend is from 1st HS.) She sent DH a message that said something like, "Hi, I know that you don't know me, but I'm a friend of LC.'s and I wanted to add you as a friend."
We both thought it a little strange, but she seemed harmless enough, so he added her.
Anyway, today is my aunt's birthday. The first thing on my wall is happy birthday wishes to my aunt. And Sue is one of the well-wishers! There is no way on earth that she could know my aunt. My aunt moved from Hometown to another state when I was a kid. I haven't seen her in at least 15 years!!
How freaky is this? Now I wonder if Sue is contacting all of my friends--which truly horrifies me! I checked her friends list, but we only have one other mutual friend who did not go to 1st HS. So maybe not--or maybe everybody else just decided she's a kook and didn't friend her.
6/30/09
6/29/09
I have a case!
LegalAid finally called me back today, and I agreed to take on a pro bono case. I am excited and freaked out at the same time.
It's a divorce case, and one that could turn nasty. I do not practice family law--although it is a direction I would have to take if I end up going solo. I did work for a family law solo for a short time in law school, so I have drafted divorce petitions, decrees, TRO's and custody modifications, but I've never argued a TRO hearing or done a divorce prove-up. (And I interned in the county where the petition would be filed and saw the judge there throw out more than one pro se petitioner who screwed up their prove-up hearing.)
But I am jumping in with few resources. I no longer have access to internet research or forms manuals. I'm not that worried about the research--I have a cited code book and family law doesn't change that much. But I don't have a forms manual and didn't keep copies of the documents that I drafted as a clerk. I'm sure I can come up with the forms, but I no longer have the luxury of downloading them from my firm's network or library.
Also, it just occurred to me that I have to sign pleading with an actual address. I am almost certain that a P.O. box will not do under the rules in my state. Umm, I don't have an office. And I REALLY don't want o put my home address on pleadings--especially a nasty divorce case.
It's a divorce case, and one that could turn nasty. I do not practice family law--although it is a direction I would have to take if I end up going solo. I did work for a family law solo for a short time in law school, so I have drafted divorce petitions, decrees, TRO's and custody modifications, but I've never argued a TRO hearing or done a divorce prove-up. (And I interned in the county where the petition would be filed and saw the judge there throw out more than one pro se petitioner who screwed up their prove-up hearing.)
But I am jumping in with few resources. I no longer have access to internet research or forms manuals. I'm not that worried about the research--I have a cited code book and family law doesn't change that much. But I don't have a forms manual and didn't keep copies of the documents that I drafted as a clerk. I'm sure I can come up with the forms, but I no longer have the luxury of downloading them from my firm's network or library.
Also, it just occurred to me that I have to sign pleading with an actual address. I am almost certain that a P.O. box will not do under the rules in my state. Umm, I don't have an office. And I REALLY don't want o put my home address on pleadings--especially a nasty divorce case.
The Evil Force
At some point in the middle of the night last night I moved from my bed to the couch. I kept having bad dreams and would wake sitting upright and trying to figure out what was happening. I can't really describe what the dreams were about--but I had this sense of something closing in on me, sort of encapsulating me.
The last one before I moved was the worst. And I had the sense that were was some kind of Evil Force next to me that was out to get me. So I hightailed it out of there.
Of course, this morning DH wanted to know what happened to me. And he was none to happy to realize that he was the Evil Force. I think he is wondering what kind of subconscious animosity I hold for him.
I told him that I can't be responsible for what I do in my sleep. Kind of like the time I yanked the pillow out from under his head in the middle of the night and started beating him with it. (Yes, it really happened, and yes, I was really asleep.) He's just lucky I didn't try to attack the Evil Force with something harder than a pillow.
Anyway, the dreams continued through the night. Stress has a tendency to manifest itself in my dreams, but last night was the worst. (This happened nightly the entire time I was studying for the bar, but hasn't been a real problem since then.)
Now, I think I need to go take a nap to recover from my sleepless night.
The last one before I moved was the worst. And I had the sense that were was some kind of Evil Force next to me that was out to get me. So I hightailed it out of there.
Of course, this morning DH wanted to know what happened to me. And he was none to happy to realize that he was the Evil Force. I think he is wondering what kind of subconscious animosity I hold for him.
I told him that I can't be responsible for what I do in my sleep. Kind of like the time I yanked the pillow out from under his head in the middle of the night and started beating him with it. (Yes, it really happened, and yes, I was really asleep.) He's just lucky I didn't try to attack the Evil Force with something harder than a pillow.
Anyway, the dreams continued through the night. Stress has a tendency to manifest itself in my dreams, but last night was the worst. (This happened nightly the entire time I was studying for the bar, but hasn't been a real problem since then.)
Now, I think I need to go take a nap to recover from my sleepless night.
6/26/09
Grumble, Grumble
I just received an email from Conservative Firm that they do not intend to conduct call back interviews for another 3 weeks!
On the one hand, I take it as a good sign that they bothered to tell me this. On the other hand, I need to start working. My psyche needs to start working, and my bank account needs me to start working.
I really like Conservative Firm, but if by some miracle another offer comes through before they are prepared to make a move, I am going to have to take it.
On the one hand, I take it as a good sign that they bothered to tell me this. On the other hand, I need to start working. My psyche needs to start working, and my bank account needs me to start working.
I really like Conservative Firm, but if by some miracle another offer comes through before they are prepared to make a move, I am going to have to take it.
The most interesting interview to date
Today I had an interview at a firm 60 miles from home. Their offices are in a turn-of-the-century house that they have fully restored. It was just gorgeous--beautifully restored and beautifully decorated.
They obviously observe casual Friday, as all of the staff and the first partner (Partner A) whom I met were wearing jeans. Then Partner B walked in--wearing flip-flops and cargo shorts, long red hair, and a silver skull ring.
They asked why I left my old firm and I gave my pat answer, "I was offered a position at another law firm, after I accepted and offered notice a conflict was discovered that was not waived."
Partner B said, "What Assholes!"
They asked what I wanted and I said, "Well I really enjoy practicing law and I like what I have been doing. I have worked on some high-quality cases and have been given increasing responsibility. I would like to continue with that--to take on additional responsibility, more complex depositions, more time in court and to go to trial eventually. Ultimately I'd like to build a book of business and make partner."
Partner B said, "I don't want to hear all that 'I love the law' bullshit. I want to hear that you want to make money."
Partner A said, "I think that's what she said."
They also warned me that they are very casual, like to joke around, (and yell and curse) and someone who is easily offended would not fit in.
Overall, I think the interview went well (except for the "I love the law" bullshit). I think they liked the answers that I gave, but they may have reservations because I live so far away. They also asked what I was earning before, and I'm not sure they are prepared to match it, as they are a much smaller firm.
I think I would really enjoy working there, but for the horrendous commute. They do a wide variety of defense litigation, and I really prefer to have a variety. I think it would be terrific experience at this stage in my career.
So this firm was really the complete opposite of the firm I interviewed with on Wednesday, but I am really drawn to both firms. Fingers crossed that one or the other works out. At this point, my emotional need to work is becoming greater than my financial need to work (which is no small need.)
They obviously observe casual Friday, as all of the staff and the first partner (Partner A) whom I met were wearing jeans. Then Partner B walked in--wearing flip-flops and cargo shorts, long red hair, and a silver skull ring.
They asked why I left my old firm and I gave my pat answer, "I was offered a position at another law firm, after I accepted and offered notice a conflict was discovered that was not waived."
Partner B said, "What Assholes!"
They asked what I wanted and I said, "Well I really enjoy practicing law and I like what I have been doing. I have worked on some high-quality cases and have been given increasing responsibility. I would like to continue with that--to take on additional responsibility, more complex depositions, more time in court and to go to trial eventually. Ultimately I'd like to build a book of business and make partner."
Partner B said, "I don't want to hear all that 'I love the law' bullshit. I want to hear that you want to make money."
Partner A said, "I think that's what she said."
They also warned me that they are very casual, like to joke around, (and yell and curse) and someone who is easily offended would not fit in.
Overall, I think the interview went well (except for the "I love the law" bullshit). I think they liked the answers that I gave, but they may have reservations because I live so far away. They also asked what I was earning before, and I'm not sure they are prepared to match it, as they are a much smaller firm.
I think I would really enjoy working there, but for the horrendous commute. They do a wide variety of defense litigation, and I really prefer to have a variety. I think it would be terrific experience at this stage in my career.
So this firm was really the complete opposite of the firm I interviewed with on Wednesday, but I am really drawn to both firms. Fingers crossed that one or the other works out. At this point, my emotional need to work is becoming greater than my financial need to work (which is no small need.)
6/24/09
Interview
I was pretty apathetic going into today's interview. I am tired of being rejected, and I wasn't sure how interested they would be in me because I have virtually no exposure to the type of law that they practice.
But it went much better than I anticipated, and now I'm afraid I have my hopes up once again.
The female attorney with whom I had been in contact was conducting initial interviews. It seemed to go ok, but I am a terrible judge. She asked for my expected salary. I threw out my previously decided upon number (which I was willing to compromise) and she said, "That's much too low. I'm going to put down [much higher number] as your minimum expected salary." My new minimum expected salary is almost $20K more than I was previously earning.
Then she said, "I know I only scheduled you for one interview, but I know that I will be calling you back, so if you have time, I'd really like to see if one of our partners can meet with you right now."
Okey dokey, no problem on my end.
Partner was preparing for a trial on Monday, but spent about an hour speaking to me. I think it went pretty well.
I am much, much more interested in the firm now, and not just because of the substantial salary increase. I would be second chairing the cases on which I was assigned--and second chairs get a lot of responsibility. It would be great experience.
The negatives (which aren't really that negative): The firm is very conservative. No business casual, which means I would have to add a few more suits to my wardrobe. I even stopped on the way home to buy Crane notecards so that I could handwrite follow-up notes. These days I generally just send an email follow up.
And they use Macs. I have never even heard of a law firm that uses Macs, and I haven't touched one since high school. I'm sure I can pick it up, but I wonder how much trouble it is sending and receiving documents. We had issues at my old firm because we used WordPerfect instead of Word.
But it went much better than I anticipated, and now I'm afraid I have my hopes up once again.
The female attorney with whom I had been in contact was conducting initial interviews. It seemed to go ok, but I am a terrible judge. She asked for my expected salary. I threw out my previously decided upon number (which I was willing to compromise) and she said, "That's much too low. I'm going to put down [much higher number] as your minimum expected salary." My new minimum expected salary is almost $20K more than I was previously earning.
Then she said, "I know I only scheduled you for one interview, but I know that I will be calling you back, so if you have time, I'd really like to see if one of our partners can meet with you right now."
Okey dokey, no problem on my end.
Partner was preparing for a trial on Monday, but spent about an hour speaking to me. I think it went pretty well.
I am much, much more interested in the firm now, and not just because of the substantial salary increase. I would be second chairing the cases on which I was assigned--and second chairs get a lot of responsibility. It would be great experience.
The negatives (which aren't really that negative): The firm is very conservative. No business casual, which means I would have to add a few more suits to my wardrobe. I even stopped on the way home to buy Crane notecards so that I could handwrite follow-up notes. These days I generally just send an email follow up.
And they use Macs. I have never even heard of a law firm that uses Macs, and I haven't touched one since high school. I'm sure I can pick it up, but I wonder how much trouble it is sending and receiving documents. We had issues at my old firm because we used WordPerfect instead of Word.
6/23/09
Today ...
- I applied for at least 5 jobs. One was a temporary position at a firm with an office dog. I like the idea of an office dog.
- I took PS to the library for a workshop on making flip-flops out of duct tape. (Don't ask me-but it was so popular that not all of the kids who showed up could participate.)
- I made friends with an adorable little girl of about 15 months who kept coming over to me, putting her hand on my knee, and jabbering away. Her mom would haul her away and a minute later she would be back.
- I yelled at random kids for running in the library. I'm not big on calling out other people's kids--but one of them used to be one of my girl scouts and I know her mom would have been mortified by her behavior.
- I got a call for another interview on Friday. The firm sounds great--but it is 60 miles away. 60 miles of city traffic.
- I met a former coworker for dinner, who was fired the week before I left. It's nice to have a fellow unemployed lawyer to bitch to--especially one who truly understands what an asshole our former boss was.
- I went to Half-Price Books all by myself. The kid-free time was nice. Didn't buy anything because I am already reading 5 books simultaneously. (East of Eden; Love in the Time of Cholera; Standing Under the Rainbow (Fannis Flagg-not as good as her other stuff); The Diary of Anne Frank (to recall whether it is ok for PS); and a chick lit book by Jane Green, the title of which I cannot recall, but probably isn't worth finishing. I am trying to build up my library in case I decide to go solo, and sometimes I can find code books for a steal. (I got a 2009 code book on ebay for $15 last week--would have cost at least $100 new.)
- I went to the grocery store. I think the butcher was flirting with me.
6/22/09
Another day another hill to climb
I think the hardest part about job hunting is the roller coaster emotional toll. Initially I was rolling uphill--I was leaving old firm, but I had several interviews lined up and I convinced myself that my unemployment would be short lived. I eventually hit the peak and plummeted downward when none of those interviews transformed into jobs.
Every time I find a job to apply for, I feel a tiny glimmer of hope and start climbing uphill. When I receive no response, I roll downhill again--but at least I haven't ascended as far before the fall.
But when I receive an interview, my hope climbs quickly and steeply and the fall is much faster and scarier when I am rejected.
Or nothing at all happens, and I just circle over an over with the tiny bumps like the kiddie-coaster at the county fair.
I'm not sure which is worse--the constant up and down or the boring endless circle. But I am tired of being unemployed. I like working. And I am a better mom when I don't spend 24/7 with my kids. My temper and patience are both running short these days.
I have an interview on Wednesday. It is still litigation, but an area that I don't have much experience in. I guess we'll see what happens, but I don't look forward to the emotional downfall following another rejection.
Every time I find a job to apply for, I feel a tiny glimmer of hope and start climbing uphill. When I receive no response, I roll downhill again--but at least I haven't ascended as far before the fall.
But when I receive an interview, my hope climbs quickly and steeply and the fall is much faster and scarier when I am rejected.
Or nothing at all happens, and I just circle over an over with the tiny bumps like the kiddie-coaster at the county fair.
I'm not sure which is worse--the constant up and down or the boring endless circle. But I am tired of being unemployed. I like working. And I am a better mom when I don't spend 24/7 with my kids. My temper and patience are both running short these days.
I have an interview on Wednesday. It is still litigation, but an area that I don't have much experience in. I guess we'll see what happens, but I don't look forward to the emotional downfall following another rejection.
6/18/09
"Don't be such a pu$$y!"
That's what one of my twins told the other when she started freaking out about a bug. Being the fabulous mom that I am, I burst out laughing.
"Wha-at?" said SS.
"Sweetie, do you know that is not a nice word?"
"What do you mean--it's just another word for kitty?"
By this point SS is obviously embarrassed and realizes that she unintentionally said something that she shouldn't.
"Well, it is a bad word, too. And if you said that to someone at school, you would get in trouble. I know you didn't know any better, but please don't call your sister a pu$$y anymore."
SS then goes and hides behind a chair.
I thought they at least recognized most of the bad words by now--but I guess that one's not part of my lexicon so they must have though it was ok (I've said before that my biggest failing as a mother is my potty mouth).
Not much happening on the job front. I haven't heard anything from the several jobs that I applied for last week, and there hasn't been anything to apply for this week. I am more seriously contemplating going solo--researching costs to get a realistic picture of what I would be getting myself into. Honestly, it scares the shit out of me . . . but at the same time I feel like karma is pushing me in that direction.
I emailed the volunteer att'y program a couple of days ago, but haven't heard anything yet. Guess they don't need volunteers too badly. Perhaps they are overwhelmed by laid off BigLawyers.
The weight watching and working out is going ok. I have nothing better to do than count calories right now--and at least it gives me control over some part of my life. Took the girls to a local farm to pick blackberries and buy produce yesterday, so we are now well stocked with healthy stuff.
"Wha-at?" said SS.
"Sweetie, do you know that is not a nice word?"
"What do you mean--it's just another word for kitty?"
By this point SS is obviously embarrassed and realizes that she unintentionally said something that she shouldn't.
"Well, it is a bad word, too. And if you said that to someone at school, you would get in trouble. I know you didn't know any better, but please don't call your sister a pu$$y anymore."
SS then goes and hides behind a chair.
I thought they at least recognized most of the bad words by now--but I guess that one's not part of my lexicon so they must have though it was ok (I've said before that my biggest failing as a mother is my potty mouth).
Not much happening on the job front. I haven't heard anything from the several jobs that I applied for last week, and there hasn't been anything to apply for this week. I am more seriously contemplating going solo--researching costs to get a realistic picture of what I would be getting myself into. Honestly, it scares the shit out of me . . . but at the same time I feel like karma is pushing me in that direction.
I emailed the volunteer att'y program a couple of days ago, but haven't heard anything yet. Guess they don't need volunteers too badly. Perhaps they are overwhelmed by laid off BigLawyers.
The weight watching and working out is going ok. I have nothing better to do than count calories right now--and at least it gives me control over some part of my life. Took the girls to a local farm to pick blackberries and buy produce yesterday, so we are now well stocked with healthy stuff.
6/15/09
8 pounds
No, not the sequel to the Will Smith movie. That's how much I have gained during my one moth of unemployment. (BTW, today is my 1 month unemployedaversary--yea for me.)
Apparently I should have been following gudnuff's workout advice. It's not hard to figure out the source of these 8 pounds. I have been baking like a mad woman to fill all the extra time. And cooking elaborate (and fattening) meals for my family. And when I'm home I snack. I rarely snacked at work--if I did I went for the almonds or dried cranberries that I kept in my desk drawer for a late afternoon pick-me-up (or dinner, as the case sometimes was.) No homemade cookies or Peanut Butter Crunch lying around.
So I have joined fat secret which tracks my calories and weight watchers points. (I have never actually joined weight watchers, but have gleaned enough information online to basically follow their point system.)
And then I signed up for a challenge, which is a running program outlined by Women's Health.
So far today I am off to a good start. I had an egg white omelet for breakfast and ran on the treadmill. We'll see how the rest of the day goes--I'm not really stocked with low fat foods right now. I've been too busy buying real butter and cream and chocolate chips.
I'm not too concerned about the 8 pounds. My weight tends to hover at about [yeah, like I'm gonna tell you], and I think I can return if I just knock off the baking. But it would be nice to lose the extra 15 pounds or so that I have been carrying around since I stopped breastfeeding the twins. (Yes, I lost all of my baby weight instantly, both times. With the twins I weighed less a week after I delivered than I did before I got pregnant. But once I stopped breastfeeding I gained 15 pounds--what the heck is that about??? I guess I was used to eating for 3 and never stopped.)
Meanwhile, I need a job, I need a job, I need a job. I miss working. I think I will call the volunteer attorney program today to see what I can do to help out.
Apparently I should have been following gudnuff's workout advice. It's not hard to figure out the source of these 8 pounds. I have been baking like a mad woman to fill all the extra time. And cooking elaborate (and fattening) meals for my family. And when I'm home I snack. I rarely snacked at work--if I did I went for the almonds or dried cranberries that I kept in my desk drawer for a late afternoon pick-me-up (or dinner, as the case sometimes was.) No homemade cookies or Peanut Butter Crunch lying around.
So I have joined fat secret which tracks my calories and weight watchers points. (I have never actually joined weight watchers, but have gleaned enough information online to basically follow their point system.)
And then I signed up for a challenge, which is a running program outlined by Women's Health.
So far today I am off to a good start. I had an egg white omelet for breakfast and ran on the treadmill. We'll see how the rest of the day goes--I'm not really stocked with low fat foods right now. I've been too busy buying real butter and cream and chocolate chips.
I'm not too concerned about the 8 pounds. My weight tends to hover at about [yeah, like I'm gonna tell you], and I think I can return if I just knock off the baking. But it would be nice to lose the extra 15 pounds or so that I have been carrying around since I stopped breastfeeding the twins. (Yes, I lost all of my baby weight instantly, both times. With the twins I weighed less a week after I delivered than I did before I got pregnant. But once I stopped breastfeeding I gained 15 pounds--what the heck is that about??? I guess I was used to eating for 3 and never stopped.)
Meanwhile, I need a job, I need a job, I need a job. I miss working. I think I will call the volunteer attorney program today to see what I can do to help out.
6/12/09
Inlaws
I love my inlaws--I really do. But I though I might strangle my FIL this weekend.
DH and I made an impromptu road trip Friday afternoon to help out FIL because MIL, who had been receiving outpatient treatments at a cancer center 700 miles from their home, was admitted for inpatient care.
When we arrived in town we headed straight for the hospital, and called FIL for the specific address and to inquire where to park (on an enormous campus). He insisted on meeting us outside so that he could hop in the car and direct us where to park, instead of just telling us which lot was nearest.
So I am stuck driving up and down the the street while FIL is on the phone with DH saying "what street are you on now? are you driving toward the sun or away from the sun? nope, nope turn around, you've passed it." Yeah, we passed it because we were looking for you on the side of the road.
So we picked up FIL and he led us to the lot across the street. (Because he couldn't have told us that on the phone?) "Ok, now you push the button and a ticket comes out. You have to pay to park here." (Me, gritting teeth, not saying anything.)
"Ok, now, turn right, now turn left, now turn right." (Because there aren't giant arrows telling me which way to turn within the parking garage.)
"Ok, there, there's an open spot, park there." (Because I wasn't already planning to park there.)
Finally, finally we unload and head toward the hospital. "Ok, now you have to keep that ticket and feed it into a machine to pay when you leave."
I just kept on nodding. "I guess maybe you've done this before, huh?" To which I replied "oh, maybe a time or two." Because it's not like I live and work(ed) in a big city where I park(ed) in a parking garage every single day, and had to pay to park every time I visited another lawyer's office or airport.
I know FIL was just trying to be helpful, and I feel a little guilty for being so cranky about it. But he doesn't seem to recognize that his kids are now adults who function every day in an environment very similar to the one in which he has suddenly and unwillingly been thrust. (To be fair, the inlaws were born and raised in a smallish city, rarely travel, refuse to pay for cable, and only got a cell phone a few weeks ago because of the travels related to MIL's illness.)
We have all the necessary modern accouterments to find our way in an unfamiliar big city, and we've parked in a pay garage, navigated our way across a business complex, and visited unfamiliar cities before.
I swear, I don't know how he thinks we've managed to secure a mortgage, raise three kids, obtain graduate degrees and go to work without step-by-step instructions.
DH and I made an impromptu road trip Friday afternoon to help out FIL because MIL, who had been receiving outpatient treatments at a cancer center 700 miles from their home, was admitted for inpatient care.
When we arrived in town we headed straight for the hospital, and called FIL for the specific address and to inquire where to park (on an enormous campus). He insisted on meeting us outside so that he could hop in the car and direct us where to park, instead of just telling us which lot was nearest.
So I am stuck driving up and down the the street while FIL is on the phone with DH saying "what street are you on now? are you driving toward the sun or away from the sun? nope, nope turn around, you've passed it." Yeah, we passed it because we were looking for you on the side of the road.
So we picked up FIL and he led us to the lot across the street. (Because he couldn't have told us that on the phone?) "Ok, now you push the button and a ticket comes out. You have to pay to park here." (Me, gritting teeth, not saying anything.)
"Ok, now, turn right, now turn left, now turn right." (Because there aren't giant arrows telling me which way to turn within the parking garage.)
"Ok, there, there's an open spot, park there." (Because I wasn't already planning to park there.)
Finally, finally we unload and head toward the hospital. "Ok, now you have to keep that ticket and feed it into a machine to pay when you leave."
I just kept on nodding. "I guess maybe you've done this before, huh?" To which I replied "oh, maybe a time or two." Because it's not like I live and work(ed) in a big city where I park(ed) in a parking garage every single day, and had to pay to park every time I visited another lawyer's office or airport.
I know FIL was just trying to be helpful, and I feel a little guilty for being so cranky about it. But he doesn't seem to recognize that his kids are now adults who function every day in an environment very similar to the one in which he has suddenly and unwillingly been thrust. (To be fair, the inlaws were born and raised in a smallish city, rarely travel, refuse to pay for cable, and only got a cell phone a few weeks ago because of the travels related to MIL's illness.)
We have all the necessary modern accouterments to find our way in an unfamiliar big city, and we've parked in a pay garage, navigated our way across a business complex, and visited unfamiliar cities before.
I swear, I don't know how he thinks we've managed to secure a mortgage, raise three kids, obtain graduate degrees and go to work without step-by-step instructions.
6/11/09
LC Unveiled
'Cause I know you've been dying to know what I look like. (I love it when I get sneak peeks at the bloggers that I follow.) DH found this app and has been making Obamicons of the entire family. PS picked out the caption.On the job front, I have been much more relaxed since the girlies have been out of school. Frankly, the cost of summer child care is so astronomical that the financial impact of my unemployment is greatly reduced while the kids are out of school.
And the kids keep me busy, so there is not so much wallowing. Although I did feel like my brain was rotting at one point this afternoon while at the library summer program watching a 50-year old woman dressed like a cowgirl singing and riding a stick pony. I thought to myself, "a month ago I was drafting an MSJ to dispose of a multi-million-dollar lawsuit in federal court, and now I am reduced to this." But for the most part, I've enjoyed hanging with the girls.
That's not to say that I am not still job hunting. I check all of my various job boards every day and apply for everything that I am even remotely qualified for. But I haven't blasted my resume, yet. And I should probably contact a few more recruiters.
6/10/09
Kid Funnies
To make up for my downer post yesterday, here are comments from random children I have encountered lately.
My little monkey girl, SS, got a little carried away climbing a tree at a park and got stuck about 10 feet of the ground. I eventually went to rescue her, but she was well above my head and I had to coax her to back her way down the tree.
A little boy watching said, "My mom said I can't climb trees."
"Well, you're mom sounds smarter than me right about now."
"She only went to the 9th grade. Did you stop going to school in the 9th grade too?" I'm sure his mom was thrilled by his over sharing.
A couple of weeks ago I was in Costco behind a woman and an adorable little girl who was about 4. I'm minding my own business, when the little girls pipes up, "We're Muslim. That means we can't eat pork and my mommy has to wear a head scarf."
"Really, that's very interesting." I replied. Then she continued to educate me about her faith and question me about my shopping cart. By the time her mother finished checking out, we were like old friends.
And then today the girls went to work with DH for "take your kid to work day." DH's office makes this a huge event, with each department sponsoring an activity for the kids. At the end of the day, the kids leave with huge bags full of loot and they get paid $5 for their work.
I asked SS what she thought about DH's office, and she said, "Daddy works in the mechanical room and doesn't get any sunshine."
DH is a web developer and his office is in the server room--but I can just imagine how a stranger would interpret this!
My little monkey girl, SS, got a little carried away climbing a tree at a park and got stuck about 10 feet of the ground. I eventually went to rescue her, but she was well above my head and I had to coax her to back her way down the tree.
A little boy watching said, "My mom said I can't climb trees."
"Well, you're mom sounds smarter than me right about now."
"She only went to the 9th grade. Did you stop going to school in the 9th grade too?" I'm sure his mom was thrilled by his over sharing.
A couple of weeks ago I was in Costco behind a woman and an adorable little girl who was about 4. I'm minding my own business, when the little girls pipes up, "We're Muslim. That means we can't eat pork and my mommy has to wear a head scarf."
"Really, that's very interesting." I replied. Then she continued to educate me about her faith and question me about my shopping cart. By the time her mother finished checking out, we were like old friends.
And then today the girls went to work with DH for "take your kid to work day." DH's office makes this a huge event, with each department sponsoring an activity for the kids. At the end of the day, the kids leave with huge bags full of loot and they get paid $5 for their work.
I asked SS what she thought about DH's office, and she said, "Daddy works in the mechanical room and doesn't get any sunshine."
DH is a web developer and his office is in the server room--but I can just imagine how a stranger would interpret this!
6/9/09
Sadness
DH attended the memorial service today for a teen who took his own life last week. I simply can't imagine a worse pain for a parent to endure.
This child was getting ready to go to college--on the cusp of a whole new life. But at that age, and in such a state of depression, I guess it is hard to have perspective for what is in front of you.
I went through some pretty serious bouts of depression when I was a teen. I wish that I had known then how fantastic my life would turn out. That I would finally escape the insane whims of my parents and their current spouses and have control over my life. That I would meet a fantastic guy and have a very normal and happy marriage. That having kids would be the best thing that ever happened to me (and I never wanted kids!) That I would put myself through school and go on to have a successful career (even with the current bump-in-the-road.)
I wish that my teenage self would have had the perspective to see that my unhappiness was a temporary situation arising from temporary circumstances. I wish all unhappy teens could see that. And how much the decision to take your own life impacts those around you--something that I don't think you can truly grasp until you are a parent.
I hope the parents of the child who killed himself can somehow survive this--I just don't know how you could ever start living again after such a tragedy.
This child was getting ready to go to college--on the cusp of a whole new life. But at that age, and in such a state of depression, I guess it is hard to have perspective for what is in front of you.
I went through some pretty serious bouts of depression when I was a teen. I wish that I had known then how fantastic my life would turn out. That I would finally escape the insane whims of my parents and their current spouses and have control over my life. That I would meet a fantastic guy and have a very normal and happy marriage. That having kids would be the best thing that ever happened to me (and I never wanted kids!) That I would put myself through school and go on to have a successful career (even with the current bump-in-the-road.)
I wish that my teenage self would have had the perspective to see that my unhappiness was a temporary situation arising from temporary circumstances. I wish all unhappy teens could see that. And how much the decision to take your own life impacts those around you--something that I don't think you can truly grasp until you are a parent.
I hope the parents of the child who killed himself can somehow survive this--I just don't know how you could ever start living again after such a tragedy.
6/8/09
Contemplations
So my little unplanned 3 week vacation has had me thinking. I really like spending more time with my kiddos, cooking real dinners for my family, not having to cram all of my errands and chores into the weekend. And the relief from the constant voice in my head saying I should be working more, working harder, doing something other than whatever I happen to be doing at the moment.
That's not to say I have any intention of voluntarily continuing my unemployed status on a permanent basis. First of all, I have done the SAHM thing before, and I was not happy. I like working. I like being a lawyer. Second, I don't really have a choice--when I was previously a SAHM I did not have a disgusting amount of law school debt which can only be paid if I am working.
But I am contemplating my options for better merging of my work and home life. In an ideal world, I'd work until 3:00 pm (except when in court or depos), and be done in time to pick the girls up from school, help with homework and make dinner. Of course, this is not an ideal world.
I really liked the type of law I was practicing--complex products cases with 6 to 8 figure exposure. I would like to continue doing this kind of work--but in an environment more conducive to maintaining a home life. (Some of the firms I interviewed with seemed to indicate that this is actually possible--but I don't necessarily believe everything I hear in an interview.)
Another option is to consider going solo. This could allow me to practice in my town--cutting out 2 hours of daily commuting, and allow more flexibility over my schedule. But there are so many cons.
I could not practice the kind of law that I have been--not even on the Plaintiff's side. Prosecuting products and PI cases takes money--money for experts, money for evidence collection and analysis, money for court costs. Any no money coming in until you settle or go to court. I simply have no means of backing those kinds of cases.
And then there is overhead. At a bare minimum Westlaw or Lexis access, malpractice insurance and advertising. Ideally, office space and a phone service. And about a million more expenses, large and small.
And I would be limited to small general practice cases and family law. I really don't want to do family law. I very briefly considered family law in school and worked for a family law attorney for a short time. I quickly weeded it out as a potential career option. Family law clients are needy. You have to be nice and understanding--a handholder. I am not nice. I liked the law I practiced because my clients were corporate--not emotionally invested individuals.
And I would be starting over--this isn't the kind of law that I have been practicing over the past two years. I know the basics, but there would be a lot to learn. And going solo means no database of old pleadings and motions to turn to when I have an issue that I have never addressed before (a nice benefit to working in a firm!)
So, I guess the choice is between continuing to do what I love and balancing it with my family--or going it alone where I have more control over the home/life balance but less control over the kind of law that I practice.
But this is not a choice that will be made today. For now I will continue the job search--as DH pointed out, it's only been 3 weeks. But if nothing pans out by the end of the summer, I may more seriously contemplate going solo.
That's not to say I have any intention of voluntarily continuing my unemployed status on a permanent basis. First of all, I have done the SAHM thing before, and I was not happy. I like working. I like being a lawyer. Second, I don't really have a choice--when I was previously a SAHM I did not have a disgusting amount of law school debt which can only be paid if I am working.
But I am contemplating my options for better merging of my work and home life. In an ideal world, I'd work until 3:00 pm (except when in court or depos), and be done in time to pick the girls up from school, help with homework and make dinner. Of course, this is not an ideal world.
I really liked the type of law I was practicing--complex products cases with 6 to 8 figure exposure. I would like to continue doing this kind of work--but in an environment more conducive to maintaining a home life. (Some of the firms I interviewed with seemed to indicate that this is actually possible--but I don't necessarily believe everything I hear in an interview.)
Another option is to consider going solo. This could allow me to practice in my town--cutting out 2 hours of daily commuting, and allow more flexibility over my schedule. But there are so many cons.
I could not practice the kind of law that I have been--not even on the Plaintiff's side. Prosecuting products and PI cases takes money--money for experts, money for evidence collection and analysis, money for court costs. Any no money coming in until you settle or go to court. I simply have no means of backing those kinds of cases.
And then there is overhead. At a bare minimum Westlaw or Lexis access, malpractice insurance and advertising. Ideally, office space and a phone service. And about a million more expenses, large and small.
And I would be limited to small general practice cases and family law. I really don't want to do family law. I very briefly considered family law in school and worked for a family law attorney for a short time. I quickly weeded it out as a potential career option. Family law clients are needy. You have to be nice and understanding--a handholder. I am not nice. I liked the law I practiced because my clients were corporate--not emotionally invested individuals.
And I would be starting over--this isn't the kind of law that I have been practicing over the past two years. I know the basics, but there would be a lot to learn. And going solo means no database of old pleadings and motions to turn to when I have an issue that I have never addressed before (a nice benefit to working in a firm!)
So, I guess the choice is between continuing to do what I love and balancing it with my family--or going it alone where I have more control over the home/life balance but less control over the kind of law that I practice.
But this is not a choice that will be made today. For now I will continue the job search--as DH pointed out, it's only been 3 weeks. But if nothing pans out by the end of the summer, I may more seriously contemplate going solo.
6/5/09
No more teachers . . .
Yesterday was the girls' last day of school. We did the awards ceremonies and then went out of ice cream. It's hard to believe that I now have a 6th grader and 2 3rd graders. I don't feel old enough to have a 6th grader--although my brother, who is 3 years younger, will have a high schooler next year!
PS still has friends over who spent the night--they are blessedly past the running around and screaming stage and you would never know that there are 5 kids in my house right now.
I have been far more productive the today and yesterday than I was the rest of the week. (Still not working out, gudnuff, but I did ask DH to look at the treadmill for me.) I applied for 2 jobs yesterday--which is more than I have the rest of the week combined. I cleaned the downstairs. (The reason I told PS she could have friends over was just so I would be motivated to clean!)
This morning I made monkey brains for breakfast, started a pot roast for dinner, filled out the paperwork to defer my student loans, and helped the twins fill up water balloons. As soon as I get rid of the extra kiddos we need to run errands and are heading to the library.
Oh yes, and lots of napping--I heart naps!
PS still has friends over who spent the night--they are blessedly past the running around and screaming stage and you would never know that there are 5 kids in my house right now.
I have been far more productive the today and yesterday than I was the rest of the week. (Still not working out, gudnuff, but I did ask DH to look at the treadmill for me.) I applied for 2 jobs yesterday--which is more than I have the rest of the week combined. I cleaned the downstairs. (The reason I told PS she could have friends over was just so I would be motivated to clean!)
This morning I made monkey brains for breakfast, started a pot roast for dinner, filled out the paperwork to defer my student loans, and helped the twins fill up water balloons. As soon as I get rid of the extra kiddos we need to run errands and are heading to the library.
Oh yes, and lots of napping--I heart naps!
6/3/09
Why yes, yes I have been wallowing
This week has been tough. No interviews and no prospects. Yesterday I got a rejection letter from a firm where I thought the interview went really well. I have worked just about every networking contact that I know of. I am beginning to sink into a deep muddy pit of depression. I was grossly unproductive both Monday and Tuesday.
Today I dragged myself to a bar association presentation directed at women. I met up with a couple of former coworkers, which was nice. They said that lots of people in the office had mentioned how much they missed me.
I was disappointed with the presentation. It was dubbed "Inspiring Women" and was a panel discussion by several prominent female lawyers. Their spiel was that they are all successful women lawyers who have overcome adversity and have found success. Which is certainly true--they are all successful and they all began practicing at a time when women lawyers were greatly outnumbered by men.
But they made it sound like their career path was all rainbows and butterflies. "Yes you can have it all. I raised two kids and I am the managing partner at BigLawFirm."
She didn't mention what it feel like when you have to miss putting your kids to bed 3 nights in a row. Or how the very last thing in the world that you want to do on a Saturday morning after working a 65 hour week is go to a 9:00 a.m. soccer game. Except for maybe going back to work after that soccer game. Or how to handle a boss who tries to turn you into a "special situation" when you complain about working 30% more hours than you agreed to and without additional compensation--just because you are a mom.
There was no substance to their discussions--no real picture of what it is like to balance a demanding career and a family.
But I got a great piece of chocolate cake and a CLE credit, so it wasn't all for nothing.
On my way home I stopped by Target for necessaries, but ended up splurging on a vintage-look $10 t-shirt that says, "Will work for shoes" with Dorothy's ruby slippers splashed across the front. (I wanted to post a pic, but can't find the same shirt anywhere online--and my shirt is waaayyy cuter than any of the ones my google search came up with.) I don't usually buy (or even look at) Target clothes, because I don't think they hold up well, but this one fit my situation so perfectly that I couldn't resist.
Today I dragged myself to a bar association presentation directed at women. I met up with a couple of former coworkers, which was nice. They said that lots of people in the office had mentioned how much they missed me.
I was disappointed with the presentation. It was dubbed "Inspiring Women" and was a panel discussion by several prominent female lawyers. Their spiel was that they are all successful women lawyers who have overcome adversity and have found success. Which is certainly true--they are all successful and they all began practicing at a time when women lawyers were greatly outnumbered by men.
But they made it sound like their career path was all rainbows and butterflies. "Yes you can have it all. I raised two kids and I am the managing partner at BigLawFirm."
She didn't mention what it feel like when you have to miss putting your kids to bed 3 nights in a row. Or how the very last thing in the world that you want to do on a Saturday morning after working a 65 hour week is go to a 9:00 a.m. soccer game. Except for maybe going back to work after that soccer game. Or how to handle a boss who tries to turn you into a "special situation" when you complain about working 30% more hours than you agreed to and without additional compensation--just because you are a mom.
There was no substance to their discussions--no real picture of what it is like to balance a demanding career and a family.
But I got a great piece of chocolate cake and a CLE credit, so it wasn't all for nothing.
On my way home I stopped by Target for necessaries, but ended up splurging on a vintage-look $10 t-shirt that says, "Will work for shoes" with Dorothy's ruby slippers splashed across the front. (I wanted to post a pic, but can't find the same shirt anywhere online--and my shirt is waaayyy cuter than any of the ones my google search came up with.) I don't usually buy (or even look at) Target clothes, because I don't think they hold up well, but this one fit my situation so perfectly that I couldn't resist.
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